Topic: Remembering a Lifetime

Padriq Kidd

Date: 2012-07-28 01:53 EST
The end of most of Aja's days alternated between two scenes. One where she would be home before Padriq, which consisted of the following routine. Come in, raid the fridge, munch on something Maria would leave for her, if she had a hard day, sit in the hot tub and let the heated water relax her. Then she would head upstairs, check in on Mara, take a shower, brush her teeth, put on one of Padriq's shirts, brush her hair, go crawl in bed and do some paperwork while waiting for Padriq to arrive home.

Or the other scene, when he would be at home before her. He would be in the kitchen, improving his cooking skills, and while they would sit in the kitchen, sharing the reward of his efforts, they would talk, joke around and generally catch up outside of the days business. Spend a little time being themselves. Go sit in the hot tub and star gaze while telling old sailing stories, make a stop to check in on Mara together and then heading to bed.

Tonight was one where she had beat him home. Mara was still in Ballentine with her brother and JiJi, so she went about getting ready for bed alone.

There was a shuffle down stairs as the pirate entered the house, his sister Bridget cradled in his arms. She had been sobbing and drinking, it was obvious by the bottle of rum she held against her chest and the redness of her cheeks. Somehow, she had drifted to sleep as he carried her home. Standing to the base of the stairs, Padriq called out in an almost lifeless tone across the intercom," Aja luv, ge" the gues" room ready, please."

He slowly made his way to the elevator and within, the jostling of the door closing and the elevator rising waking his sister. Small sobs echoed from its chambers from her lips while Padriq's broken voice echoed in song:

"Lay down me dear brother, lay down and take yer res" I wan' t' lay yer head upo' yer savior's breas" I luv ye, bu' jesus luvs ye bes" I bid ye goo"nigh", goo"nigh", goo"nigh" I bid ye goo"nigh", goo"nigh", goo"nigh"

Lay down me dear brother, lay down and take yer res" I wan' t' lay yer head upo' yer savior's breas" I luv ye, bu' jesus luvs ye bes" I bid ye goo"nigh", goo"nigh", goo"nigh" I bid ye goo"nigh", goo"nigh", goo"nigh"

"Shh, wee sis"er, Brig" I be "ere lass."

The elevator opened and carefully Padriq stepped out, Bridget still hugging that bottle tightly to her while softly weeping. He moved quietly, so not to disturb the sobs that Bridget made although his shirt was thoroughly stained.

Aja heard his voice and whipped the covers back burying all the papers she had on the bed in one motion. She made her way to the second floor where the guest bedrooms were, following the sound of the crying with curiosity. The sight that greeted her was a surprising one. Padriq stood to the side, still cradling his sister, eyes fixed sorrowfully on the bed. He glanced to Aja as he entered before giving his sister a gentle squeeze. "Le" me pu' "er t' bed affore I go explainin" thin's or she'll be a mess agai"." His voice broke," N" I cunnae ta"e tha' righ' now."

Aja went to the dresser and pulled out a big shirt and handed it to him. "Case she wants ta sleep in something else."

She went then to the hall and waited for Padriq. Prowling around the hallway idly, Maria kept everything cleaned up, there was nothing to putter with while she waited for Padriq.

Bridget didn't fuss much about what she was wearing, but she didn't dare let go of that rum bottle, it was a good thing it was corked. Padriq tucked her in and sat, for just a few minutes, until his sister had drifted to sleep again. Once he was sure he could step out for a moment, he did, closing the door behind him.

As he stood at the door to the guest room, it looked as though all strength he had showed for his sister was about to wither. In mere seconds, he changed from a stony brother, to a crystal ready to break. Bloodshot eyes turned to Aja and his voice shook while he spoke.

"Robby be dead." He didn't fight the flood of tears any longer. Slowly he slid down against the door and in his broken tone repeated," "e be dead....damn fool done sho' 'imself."

Aja paused dead still and looked at Padriq for split second of shock before moving to put herself next to him for him to lean on.

"He shot himself?" she echoed, it was a hard concept for her to conceive. "Was he sick or something?"

"I shoul" "ave been there more....I coul" "ave....coul" "ave..." He buried his face in his hands, choking back sobs as he shook his head. ?"e jus"....I dunnae know why."

"Shhh' She stroked his head and lead him to the elevator, stairs were not going to be his friend right now. On the short ride up, she just stroked his hair and let him cry, while she attempted to think of why in the world Robert would do that.

Once on the third floor, she led him to a sitting area that was part of their floor. Settling him on the couch, making sure he was comfortable before she went and got them a drink. She came back to sit on the coffee table in front of him. She poured herself a glass and just handed him the bottle. Figuring that would be what he wanted right now. She leaned forward slightly, taking his free hand in hers.

"Go' a call me sis"er wus drinkin" "erself t' death, n" they coul" nae fin" Steph, so I wen" down t' the Pow"er Keg n" go' "er....When she saw me she jus" star"ed screamin" "Robby's dead, Robby's dead". I "ad t' carry "er ou" o' there t' "ear the whole story." He took the bottle gratefully and tipped it back before he said," She tol" me "e done sho' 'imself n" up n" lef" us t' the drin". I" too' all I "ad t' ge" "er n" the truck n" ge" "er "ere wi"ou" losin" me self t' sorrow li"e she "as."

Aja listened patiently never letting go of his hand. Her other hand was stroking his hair back gently while she listened. She knew the numbness that came with losing someone you cared for so much. The pure disbelief that they could be truly gone.

"She's welcome to stay here as long as she needs ta." that was a given, but in case he had forgotten that he never needed her permission to ever have his family here. "I..." she paused finding that there were no good words to say. "I'm so sorry, honey. How ya holdin up?"

"I dunnae know. I "ave t' fin" Steph n" then sen" wor" t' Donal n" Michael. They'll wan' t' know." Once again Padriq took a heavy gulp from the bottle before he froze. ?"e's nae goin" t' ge" a proper funeral." Damn Catholic's and their terms on suicide.

"He'll get a proper pirates funeral then." she looked at him remembering that there was a priest in the family. "We'll help Stephen arrange it."

"Why'd "e do i"....wut wus "e thinkin?" Great mystery, or just a deep stabbing pain" Possibly the latter. It was going to take a while for the family to feel right again, Stephen the longest.

"We may never know." she said quietly. "Can't even begin ta know what went on in his head." she leaned forward and kissed Padriq's forehead. "Best we can do is honor him by having a funeral. Then ?" she exhaled putting her forehead against his and speaking quietly. "Make sure da rest of ya stay close."

She thought of Robert for a moment. As he was, she could never see him being able to hold a relationship as easily as his two brothers could. Or have a family like Bridget made for herself. Maybe it all got to be too much for him. A string of one night stands never filling that void inside himself and being too stubborn to change to achieve it. She quietly breathed steady, she was angry at the damn man now. How dare he leave behind all this pain for his family' But for Padriq's sake, she'd keep those thoughts to herself.

Padriq's thoughts weren't far off from Aja's to be honest, but the grief and the reality of it all kept him from voicing it. So he merely sat there, drinking from the bottle in his hands and sobbing once in a while against Aja's embrace. Lost in what was needed to be done for his brother a thought crossed him and he voiced it.

"Shoul" I tell "ina?"

"Hina." Aja said slowly. "Riiiight." she thought a moment. "I'm sure she'd like ta know. I mean, they were married once, even if it ended badly."

"I thin" she wus the only woman dafty enoug" t' wan' t' marry 'im." That got a small, weak laugh from him.

Aja stroked his hair and grinned ever so slightly. "No one ever claimed either one of them were in their right minds." she kissed his cheek. "Course, they could say the same about us." she gave him a wink then.

"Aye n" they would conclu" tha' we both nae be n" our righ' min's." It was true. At least to him.

"I never cared for anyone else's opinion." She smiled at him. "I have ya and that's all I need ta be happy."

"Same "ere luv." He wrapped her up in his arms and sighed. "Tha' idio"," He finally voiced it," Wut wus so ba" abou" life tha' "e "ad t' up n" leave me bro"er n" sis"er li"e tha?"

"I don't know, babe. Maybe he saw what ya, Stephen and Bridge had...and .." she exhaled. "Maybe he thought he'd never have that. Maybe he was sick...and knew he'd die a horrible death...maybe....he jist gave up."

"I's jus" nae righ"." He said with a weak sob. "Me bro"er, "e mus" be besi" 'imself."

"Diana's got 'im, don't ya worry about him tanight." she went to her knees in front of him and looked at him. "We'll look after Bridget." she stroked his cheek. "And I'll look after ya."

"Aye. Than' ye luv." Padriq leaned against her, giving her another squeeze. "I dunnae know wut I woul" do wit"ou" ye."

"Drink yerself silly, and fall asleep somewhere weird." she smiled at him.

"I thin" Bridg" "as tha' bi" covered luv." Motioning to the door. "She go' silly offa Robby's rum."

"And she'll have ta deal with Maria in da morning, motherin over her." she gave Padriq a sly smile. "Speakin of. Did ya eat dinner tonight?"

"Nae, n" I lef" Ricks t' do all the paper wor" tonigh", Ajia's gonna kill me." "Nah...Ricks can handle da paper. If he can't, he'll pass it ta Tristan." Aja said and started to get up. "Come on. Let's go see what Maria's got stashed in dat massive fridge of hers. Bound ta be something edible in it." she took his hands and tugged him up off the couch.

"Aye knowin" Maria." He stood to follow her down the stairs.

"And once ya get around ta noticin..." she did a sassy little wiggle. "Yer fiance ain't wearin any pants."

"I see tha' luv. I see tha"." Granted he wasn't quite sure he was in the mood to take the rest of what she wore, off of her.

She smiled a little when he did. She knew that his head was elsewhere, but little moments of peace from focusing on Robert, was the best she could do for him right now. They'd be plenty of time for mourning, but she also knew the living had to be done too.

"I think I saw she had some roast beef in there." Aja lead them to the elevator. "We'll make some sammiches and head out to da porch. Watch some stars." hugging his arm. "Whatcha think?"

"I dunnae wan' t' ge" too far from me sis"er luv. We shoul" try t' ge" "er t' le" go o' Robby's bottle some time soon, luv or Maria will nae "ave a sober Pirate t' tend t' n" the mornin"." But the prospect of Aja's company and roast beef sandwiches pushed him on.

"There's a balcony off her room." she smiled softly. "We'll sit out there. Bring her a sandwich in case she wants ta eat."

"Thank ye luv." Once in the kitchen, he took a seat upon the stool and set his eyes on Aja. "Ye be a blessin"."

Aja smiled softly over her shoulder at him as she got the stuff out of the fridge to make sandwiches. "Well, ya took care of me when I was injured and I know I ain't da best patient in da world." she grinned a little. "We take care of each other. Aint' that what this whole relationship gig is?" setting the stuff down on the island counter top and set about making them some food.

"Aye luv, tha's jus" wu" it be abou"." She got another smile out of him. He watched her make food while he took a few drinks now and then of the bottle she'd given him.

Aja went about setting up a tray, letting him sit quietly and gather his thoughts. Little odds and ends got added to the tray. Kleenex's, a couple bottles of water. Some aspirin. Chocolates. She lifted the tray and nodded towards the hallway and the elevator.

"Go push da button, love." she smiled. "We'll head ta Bridget's room."

Padriq nodded and pushed the kitchen door open, holding it for her. Once she was through, he'd move to the elevator and push the button. He looked to her and took a few things from her so her arms weren't so full. Leaning to the side, he kissed her cheek and showed her deep gratitude in his eyes.

They held a silent vigil on the balcony of Bridget's room for a while. Padriq periodically recalling stories about Robert from the years past. Aja let him talk or not as he wanted, just holding his hand in support.

Because I have loved life, I shall have no sorrow to die. I have sent up my gladness on wings, to be lost in the blue of the sky. I have run and leaped with the rain, I have taken the wind to my breast. My cheek like a drowsy child to the face of the earth I have pressed. Because I have loved life, I shall have no sorrow to die.

I have kissed young love on the lips, I have heard his song to the end. I have struck my hand like a seal in the loyal hand of a friend. I have known the peace of heaven, the comfort of work done well. I have longed for death in the darkness and risen alive out of hell. Because I have loved life, I shall have no sorrow to die.

I give a share of my soul to the world where my course is run. I know that another shall finish the task I must leave undone. I know that no flower, nor flint was in vain on the path I trod. As one looks on a face through a window, through life I have looked on God. Because I have loved life, I shall have no sorrow to die.

By Amelia Josephine Burr.