((Thoughts and comments based on what was witnessed at the Outback Mayhem on ROH. You guys seriously have way too much fun!))

*Flashed up onto the DCNN broadcast going out during the morning was report from Tazzy Stream-Dancer who appeared to be in a very cheap room in the Red Dragon Inn cleaning whipped cream off of her EYE Com.*

"Hello to all our lovelies out there! If your wondering why I am giving you a report from inside my hotel room and not live at the Outback during this Mayhem Night we've heard so much about, well, honestly, you'd not be able to hear any talk and a lot of things breaking and pies everywhere! It was great but I have do a few pieces of footage caught of three Candidates that evidently love to throw down and get physical.

The candidates that showed tonight were Andu Kirost, an Apis Minotaur, yes there is a difference viewers. Ammy Spiritor, yup, our Ammy is in this race, crazy lady doesn't know when to stay home. The last was Will Somnia, a human I think, though in this realm you never know what anyone really is by looks alone.

Interviews weren't possible with any of them that night and rightfully so I wasn't going to take a wrench or pie to the face just for journalism. So, sorry to all of you out there in the betting pools thinking I'd get clobbered and carted out of this election time for reporting. I will say this though, if you want to pick candidates based on sheer tenacity and strength, these three were definitely trying to compete.

So how did these three candidates stack up to each other for sheer grit and determination in a brawl" Lets take a look at each one and how many dust ups they got into.

Will Somnia starts this off with just one match against a reptile dude up in the balcony of the Outback.

-Select Footage rolls from the fight:

David Harada was still staring a little wonderingly at the wrench that had been stuffed into his hand, then slid that into his back pocket. He dropped to a brief crouch, snapping his foot out to sweep for the knee, and seemed surprised when it connected.

Will can't quite move fast enough, and gets knocked back into the chairs. Will throws his feet back over his head, lashing out in a kick and rolling backwards to his feet with a hop in one smooth movement.

David Harada exhaled slightly at the miss, rolling his shoulder.

Will crouches, grabbing a chair leg in each hand, a grin spreading across his face. Will swung one chair in a backhand as a distraction, spinning into a quick jab at David Harada.

David Harada's head snapped, surprised right into a fist when he'd doubled back on that dodge. He dropped low to strike again.

Will Somnia hits the floor again.

"It would seem this Candidate is full of fight but wound up on the floor claimed by the reptile dude. Points for bravery but maybe Will Somnia had an off night' We will never know as the candidate took his one loss and vanished for the night.

Our next Candidate hopefule, Andu Kirost, the Apis Minotaur is definitely one many would pick right of the bat in a vote for a physical election of power and dominance. Just look at the towering height, the size, the muscles, the horns, good acorns is that gold on his horns" He must be loaded. This candidate when in for two fights and I must say the first one was sparks flying as he faced off against our very own Ammy Spiritor in a tight Store Room!"

-Select Footage rolls from the fight:

Andu starts it off keeping it simple, and grabbing Ammy to let her own momentum slam her into "something" in the storeroom.

Well nothing says Hello, nice to see you again, than Ammy being slammed into a wood crate full of limes! The limes are rolling everywhere!

Oh well, Andu tries to get sneaky, and a fist hits his obsidian flesh first instead.

Ammy slips and rolls on limes getting back up and grabs a hand full of little umbrellas and face plants Andu's nostrils with them. "I call it a Fuzzy Andu!"

Andu snorts the umbrellas back out of his nose. Andu tries a fast kick, but finds a problem with it.

Ammy isn't getting kicked by that big foot. She's jumping for the rafter beam and giving Andu's face a brush with her tail covered in glass, blood and stair dirt!

"Ewww!!! Get a shampoo!" Andu flails.

"You try sitting on a whiskey bottle!" Ammy dropped back to the floor with a thump as she skidded on more limes.

Ammy scores a point, by choosing "not" to be where his fist was aimed, apparently.

Ammy ducks and thought it was good to tackle Andu. She hit solid Minotaur and grunts.

Andu threw A massive fist clutching another mug, shoots out to smack Ammy with the mug. "Here! Have a drink!"

Ammy drops from a rafter, skitters on limes, rise up for a hard upper cut and THOCK! She goes into a keg and oh joy! Alchohol and cuts! Ammy went for the rafter again and ran her lime juiced paws all over Andu's face!

Ah, well, Andu's attempt to kick, meets with a pawing of his face! "Ah!! That Burns!!!" Oops. Maybe some in the eyes"::

"Well Candidate Kirost lost to Candidate Spiritor. What does this mean' Maybe size and power isn't everything. His next match was against a woman and it was on a couch. I'm warning all viewers right now there is graphic violence towards couches in this footage."

-Select Footage rolls from the fight:

Andu lumbers toward the couch....All 10 foot tall, 1 ton of him. Steps up on the couch. But only for an instant, his booted feet crunching through the frame and hitting the floor.

Andu tries to get grabby, thinking the free floating Rachael would be an easy target....More fool him.

Rachael dropped down in a blur and kicked out with those armored boots for Andu's legs.

Andu slams a massive fist out at Rachael.

Rachael aimed to kick out with those boots again, but Andu had other plans. True to its forging, the armour held and did not dent. She held back on the knifehand that round.

Andu tries to distract Rachael by kicking one of the couch cushions at her, but she doesn't fall for it.

Time to get down and dirty, an armored elbow was aimed for Andu's sternum in the trade from Rachael.

Andu winds up.....And brings a Haymaker in hard at Rachael, really giving her armor a good "field test", in all likelihood. And even Andu OOFs. and blinks at the elbowing.

Andu should know what was coming. Thanks to all of that absorbed energy, Rachael picked Andu up, spun him around overhead, and aimed to drop him, though gently, down onto the couch.

What couch' After he, for once, gains some air time of his own, Andu lands on the couch, reducing what "had" been left to splinters and fluff.

"Ouch! That was pretty brutal and I've heard that the couch is survived by an ottoman and three foot stools. A moment of silence for a fallen brother in upholstery. So what did we learn from this Candidates approach' Size and mass doesn't always count, something the smaller things really hit hard and fast even in they are disadvantaged in many ways. Don't give up hope yet though! Rise beyond and outsmart the smarties!

The last Candidate we too is our very own Ammy Spiritor. Hey, quiet down in Den City! I can hear the howling from my room. Geeze and I can hear the eye rolls from Fang Wood about waiting to hype her up for last. In either format, Ammy would have been first or last if I went the most or least first. Our own back yard Candidate waded into this Mayhem and pulled in four brawls, ladies and gents. You heard it right. Four brawls and no, they weren't pretty, and she only one won of them. You already saw the winning fight, under dog versus prime steak! Ahem. Here is a brief highlight reel as I'm running out of time people!"

-Very, very select footage rolls from several fights with text notating locations in the Outback:

~Ammy Spiritor versus Gren Blockman on Stairs!~

Ammy felt the whiskey hitting her good and wobbled as Gren threw a punch. She just leaned a bit more, grabbed shirt and pulled. "Write me in the fall!"

Gren swings and misses and he ends up taking a tumble down the flight of stairs, bonking his head several times "Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!"

"I had a slinky that made that same noise before." Ammy sipped more whiskey.

Gren jumps away from Ammy as she tries to drop him again, buying himself some time to get himself together.

Ammy tried to play footsies with him but took a seat on the step, landing on the whiskey bottle as he got his footing. "Khel! Khel! This **** is good!" Ammy laughed.

~Ammy Spiritor versus Jewell Ravenlock in Matt Simons Office!~

"Dibs on staple remover!" Ammy calls out running for Matt's office. She slid inside the office slammed the door shut and found a foot in bound. "Oh hell no! Bad Emperess!" she thwaped with that wrench in hand moving for the paper cutter.

Jewell feints a kick, but it turns out bad because she gets hit by an effing wrench! The petite woman stumbles under the blow. She came at Ammy quick in those high-heels, smashing her with the mostly empty Badsider and then kicking the trash bin at her.

Ammy tried to go low with that wrench then SOCK! with the bottle and POW! with the trash bin. She spat out a parking ticket. "Whoa, it's unpaid!" Ammy decided to give Matt a gift be leaving him a very lifelike centerfold as she hip threw/slammed Jewel on top of his desk.

"Ungh!" The air wooshes out of Jewell when she hits his desk, scattering paperwork like snow. "You know." She gasps out as she sits up. "The last time someone slammed me on the desk, it was a lot less harsh and a lot more kinky."

"Doll, I haven't even brought out the handcuffs yet." Ammy gruffed She grabbed the History of Duelists from Matt's desk and swung up hard and heavy at Jewel.

Jewell goes spinning when the giant tome hits her temple and actually ends up on her knees with the world spinning.

~Ammy Spiritor versus Andu Kirost in the Store Room!~

Ammy slips and rolls on limes getting back up and grabs a hand full of little umbrellas and face plants Andu's nostrils with them. "I call it a Fuzzy Andu!"

Andu snorts the umbrellas back out of his nose.

Andu threw A massive fist clutching another mug, shoots out to smack Ammy with the mug. "Here! Have a drink!"

Ammy drops from a rafter, skitters on limes, rise up for a hard upper cut and THOCK! She goes into a keg and oh joy! Alchohol and cuts! Ammy went for the rafter again and ran her lime juiced paws all over Andu's face!

Ah, well, Andu's attempt to kick, meets with a pawing of his face! "Ah!! That Burns!!!" Oops. Maybe some in the eyes".

~Ammy Spiritor versus Rachael Blackthorn on the Floor!~

Ammy decides to share the mop and keeps Rachael from grabbing her arms.

Gloved hands reached out and pulled back in the mirrored round as Rachael grabs.

Ammy tried to get under a hopeful punch but face plants into the soggy mop from the chop.

The knife hand wasn't brought into play that round. Instead, another nearby chair was procured, and lifted on high with the intent to smash it over Ammy's head, trajectory adjusted and compensated for when she moved downward.

Ammy jams the mop between Rachael's feet to trip her. Then a sloppy smack of the soggy mop head to Rachael's midsection.

The knife hand was pulled back and the mop brought her down to the floor. Stance was regained, only to be lost again. This time a nearby table was procured and brought down to bear on Ammy, aimed for the incoming attack, mostly.

Ammy snapped out a kick that went through the table and fell back as more of it crushed her down. "Ow..." Creak of wood and the alchemist folds the table in two like a twig and rolls back up with a bloody nose.

Gloved hands reached for Ammy to lift her overhead, spin her around in a blur of movement, and then....drop Ammy atop a nearby table, with enough force to break the table on impact. No mopping up for her.

Ammy grunts getting the spin cycle then the sudden one way drop to splinter town amongst the remains of the table.

Tazzy is seen covering her eyes though she'd already seen first hand the carnage that had happened that night.

"Well then what did we learn from our very own Candidate running for Governor? You can head into a long, uphill fight, go down swinging almost every battle but you know what, she got claimed as the Lower Rank Mayhem Champion! She may not look like she's all there, she may be worn around the edges, but I'd say Candidate Spiritor has the stamina to take a beating and still keep leading. This is Tazzy Stream-Dancer with your Outback Mayhem Elections Special. Stay tuned for more awesome broadcasting!"