May 8th, 2013
I don't understand any of this. None of it makes any sense.
Minoko told me that Sai has taken some of my memories. When I confronted him, he didn't deny it.
How could he think that this was alright' How could he believe that this would be the best thing for me, that he had the right"
I don't know what Quill had to do with any of it, or Logan or Brent or Kil or any of them. Do they all know that I've had my memories taken" Of course they do. They're my family. But how could they all just stand there and say it was okay' What if it was their memories that were going to be taken and not mine" Would they still have let him do it"
No.
Why does everyone in this family think it's okay to make all of my decisions for me"
I used to be young. I used to be a kid. I used to not understand the things that were happening to me. But now I'm twenty, well past the age of being considered an adult. I still feel young sometimes, sure, and I really don't know all that much about the world, I'll admit that. But does that really give the right to everyone else to still decide what?s best for me" Shouldn't I be the one who does that now"
I just don't know.
I feel completely lost.
Things keep popping up in my head. Things I feel like I should remember but I don't. At least not entirely. I feel like I remember them, for a couple of seconds, but then it just' goes away again. But there's always these lingering feelings, things I guess I used to feel when I had once lived this memories.
I remember a boy.
He had two different colored eyes and red hair.
I miss him.
...but I also hate him.
I don't even know who this boy is but I hate him anyway. Every time I remember him I feel like my heart's getting ripped out and torn to shreds. It makes me want to scream and cry all at the same time, and I don't even remember why. I don't even know if I want to remember.
...do I even have a choice"
I don't understand any of this. None of it makes any sense.
Minoko told me that Sai has taken some of my memories. When I confronted him, he didn't deny it.
How could he think that this was alright' How could he believe that this would be the best thing for me, that he had the right"
I don't know what Quill had to do with any of it, or Logan or Brent or Kil or any of them. Do they all know that I've had my memories taken" Of course they do. They're my family. But how could they all just stand there and say it was okay' What if it was their memories that were going to be taken and not mine" Would they still have let him do it"
No.
Why does everyone in this family think it's okay to make all of my decisions for me"
I used to be young. I used to be a kid. I used to not understand the things that were happening to me. But now I'm twenty, well past the age of being considered an adult. I still feel young sometimes, sure, and I really don't know all that much about the world, I'll admit that. But does that really give the right to everyone else to still decide what?s best for me" Shouldn't I be the one who does that now"
I just don't know.
I feel completely lost.
Things keep popping up in my head. Things I feel like I should remember but I don't. At least not entirely. I feel like I remember them, for a couple of seconds, but then it just' goes away again. But there's always these lingering feelings, things I guess I used to feel when I had once lived this memories.
I remember a boy.
He had two different colored eyes and red hair.
I miss him.
...but I also hate him.
I don't even know who this boy is but I hate him anyway. Every time I remember him I feel like my heart's getting ripped out and torn to shreds. It makes me want to scream and cry all at the same time, and I don't even remember why. I don't even know if I want to remember.
...do I even have a choice"