Topic: Immortal like me. (Martyr's Journal)

Martyr

Date: 2013-03-23 04:31 EST
Cover

Have you ever mixed two things together that seem like opposites and they just"worked" Peanut butter and bananas" Pizza and Spinach' That's me" It's who I am....My mother is a pure soul, and my father is pure evil....They had powers that should never be crossed, and somehow, they were passed through me" I'm not normal" I'm an abomination of natural selection. I am prey that just won't die"

http://i872.photobucket.com/albums/ab290/Ash-OfTheDead/Text_zpsd3e65fed.png I don't remember any of my life before Valcroix" They say that my memories were taken away from me" I don't want that to happen again? I don't want to lose what I have with Val, or Max" So I'm writing it here so I won't ever lose it' So that I won't ever lose them'

They say my name is Caia Slane....That I had a nickname given to me" I think it fits" It's the name I remembered when I introduced myself to Valcroix, and what I will go by for the rest of my life" So in case I forget it?

My name is Martyr.

Martyr

Date: 2013-03-23 06:16 EST
03/22/13

Val got me this pretty purple pen to write with! I like it a lot he's so good to me and he makes me so happy, and I love him so much! He got me another pink one, and it was glittery"But Max took it. She drew all over the walls with it, and I guess I only have myself to blame for putting the idea in her head"

Anyways" This guy showed up to see me" He's done it before" He wants to kill my handler and me, but' The problem is that my handler hasn't showed up" So I feel bad because I'm keeping him waiting, but at the same time, I really don't want to die" I've tried to keep this a secret from Val and everyone else, because I don't want anyone to worry about me, but Drake walked out on the man attacking me" I wish I knew his name" I feel rude calling him "the man?" Maybe I'll ask him the next time he's trying to kill me. If I tell him it's for my journal, I'm sure he'll understand!

Drake saved my life today....Well, kind of? The man wasn't going to kill me or anything, but he was hurting me a lot. Drake stopped him, and got hurt' I healed him and everything so he is fine! But then we were sitting together while my body was healing and he kissed me. Nobody besides Val has ever kissed me before. I didn't know what to think, and I started crying"

After I explained everything to Val, he told me that I didn't cheat. He used some bad words that I'm not going to repeat on here, though' I'm glad that I'm not a cheater, but I feel like I need to apologize to Drake for crying so much' I hope that he doesn't feel too bad. I need to work on my emotions"

Martyr

Date: 2013-03-27 02:38 EST
03/25/13

I found the most adorable little baby fox in the Outback today! I named her Ayasha, it means "Little One." I guess I shouldn't be too excited, though' Her mother died. I found Ayasha close by with a whole lot of injuries. The poor girl had to be in a lot of pain, because when I healed her, I was in a lot of pain and I didn't like it' It was worth it though. I found where while I was taking one of my walks.

I took a picture of her, so that when I release her; I'll remember her forever! I'm going to glue it on this page! Here you go, Journal! Get ready! Ready yet' Here it is!

http://i872.photobucket.com/albums/ab290/Ash-OfTheDead/Ayasha_zps598d1338.png

Isn't she the most wonderful thing in the world" I think she is" You know, aside from Max, Valcroix and Ulysses! Speaking of which, Val wasn't too happy when I brought her home" I think he'll get over it, though' He knows how I am with strays" Max loves her though. She keeps calling her "Ulyssie baby!" I don't see the resemblance, but she seems to!

Ayasha is a baby right now, but I have a feeling she's going to grow up strong" Maybe not big, but you don't always have to be big, to be strong! And who knows" She may become http://i872.photobucket.com/albums/ab290/Ash-OfTheDead/Text_zpsc86305b0.png a part of our funny little family! I look forward to watching her grow, and I'll keep it posted!

Martyr

Date: 2013-03-27 03:51 EST
03/26/13

I had my first beer today. I was with Katan, and Minoko' I guess I just wanted to try it' It was stupid to test my limits, especially being a mommy. It ended up just making me feel really sick, and stupid. I guess I wasn't as nervous as I usually am, though' That might be something to think about' Oh, I guess I should write it in here!

When I drink alcohol, my veins start to turn black, and my powers don't work" It's not very pretty. I have intolerance to poison or other toxins, alcohol included so I should NEVER go out drinking" Still, today I let Katan talk me into it, and it made me vomit. Also, it caused me and Valcroix to argue. I can see where he was coming from though, it's stupid of me to drink something that could kill me so easily' Plus, with all the people that attack me, I shouldn't be stopping my regeneration powers! Bad Martyr! Baaaaad Martyr!

So, future Martyr who has lost her memories" NO DRINKING! It's bad for us! Also, always say please and thank you, look both ways before you cross the street (just because we heal doesn't mean we should run out in front of cars)((unless we REALLY don't like the person's car))" I'm getting out of hand again. The point is, no drinking and watch out for poison darts? They happen more often than you'd think!

Anyways, I did have a good conversation with Minoko! I think that we might be getting closer, and I'm so, so happy that I hired Katan to work with me. Anyways, I have to get some sleep because I have a big day tomorrow! Remember, NO DRINKING!

Martyr

Date: 2013-04-03 10:21 EST
04/03/13

Max gave Ulysses a bath today! It wasn't much of a bath, but it was still pretty cute! I had to take a picture of it' Val says I take too many pictures"but I think he just hasn't lost his memory enough to understand" What if I have other children out there" I don't even want to think about it' My mom says that I don't, and I guess I believe her. Still, if I do have another kid, I'm sorry other child and I'd love to bring you into the family too, if I could"

Happy thoughts! There's not even proof I have another child" So why am I getting upset about it' I guess it's because when my mind focuses on something, it's hard to turn it off" Oh well" I guess I'm doing it again? Okay, so...Picture time! Here you go!

http://i872.photobucket.com/albums/ab290/Ash-OfTheDead/Max-Ulysses2_zpsb3e382b8.jpg

Max and Ulysses are such good friends. She says that Angel is her best friend, and I agree that they are adorable together, but she and that dog are inseparable. Valcroix always says that I'm jealous that Max took Ulysses away from me, but I know he's just teasing....I love that Max has such a close friend, plus! He doesn't speak human talk, so he can't tell any of her secrets. That's good, right'

I told Val I thought that Max and Ulysses might spend the rest of their lives together, and I think he liked that idea better than her having a boyfriend? That's forever away, though!

Martyr

Date: 2013-04-04 01:03 EST
04/03/13

Oh, one more thing! I met this girl in the Inn! She"s" Well, I guess she"s kind of like me. She goes by a nickname, Flash, like how I go by Martyr. She"s very nice, but she seems".sad" Something happened to her Island where she lived. She says that it doesn"t matter, but I think that it might" Maybe I"ll look into trying to fix the place she lives"though I guess that would make me sad, because she wouldn"t be here for me to talk to anymore, and I really like talking to her. Is that selfish" Oh! Anyways, what I was getting to, was that" She really liked Ayasha, but mentioned she wanted a lizard. So I went all over trying to find her one" I ended up just buying one at a pet shop, but he"s really friendly, and just sits in my bag! I"ve hidden him from Val, so when I see Flash, I can give it to her! I feel weird calling it; well, an it" I"ve opted to call him, Sir Scales, until I hand him off and let her name him! I think they"ll be good friends, though! She needs something to love, I think! Also, Val really likes that I"m keeping a journal! Which makes me really happy, but I think that he"s just secretly reading it" If you"re reading this Val, you"re mean!! He did get me this really cool pen that changes colors! So, if you?re still reading this, thank you for the pen!

Martyr

Date: 2013-04-25 04:00 EST
04/25/13



I know it's been a long time since I've written, and I have a lot to say, too' So much has gone on since my last entry' Now that I started writing, I think I'm having trouble remembering it all. Oh well, I'll write what I remember now, and do the rest later! Here goes!

Well, I've gone on a few adventures with Katan and Minoko' Once they tried to help me, when Aviana was fighting with me. Aviana is my sister, by the way"Minoko actually fought for me. Aside from Valcroix, I've never really had anybody fight to protect me. It made me feel good, but it upset me at the same time, because she could have gotten hurt. Not to mention the fact that Katan is a human' When Aviana attacked, and the blast was going straight for him...I don't really know what I felt, like my heart was going to stop beating and fly from my chest to try and block it' That sounds stupid. Either way, I put my body in front of him, and I was the one who got hurt"but I think he got bruised up and just wouldn't tell me about it' I got really mean, and I felt bad for hurting Aviana, but she could have killed Katan' I got angry, and I need to work on that"

Speaking of getting angry' I got into a really big fight the other day, too' A man named Diritas. He upset me, and I guess I let Phoenix out"another thing I need to work on. When I woke up, I was well, missing clothes and a lot of my skin. Minoko'saw me naked. I am ashamed of this. At least it wasn't Katan, though' I think I won the fight though...That reminds me, I need to give him back his jacket. Well, actually...I think I'll hold it hostage until he gets better manners!

I have a brother, too! I didn't know this until a day or so ago. He came to see me, and I'm pretty sure Minoko played checkers with him' I mean, I guess I am happy for her and him, but I'm not sure how I feel about it! My friend and my brother" Playing checkers"....Oh well, it shouldn't be any of my business. He met Val, and Max, too' I don't think Val and him hit it off very well, but I also think they're both kind of protective of me. I'm not sure, but his name is Emlen, and he's very nice" A rough past, though.

I couldn't see someone as strong as him, being worse than me" Not that I think he is, but to my people's standards, I am a hero, and he's a failure" I don't understand how that works. His handler died, yeah' but' it was a mistake! I don't know I wish I could help him, he loved her. I went through just thinking that Val was dead and it tore me up inside" I couldn't imagine it being for real, forever" Katan was telling me about Minoko's past, too' She lost two of her boyfriends to death? Even as I write this, I'm crying for her. I know nothing will heal that pain, but maybe Emlen and Minoko can heal each other's hearts" Either that, or I'll work on my healing abilities.

Speaking of that' I tried to heal Katan's heart to see if I could, and something'strange happened to me. I can't explain it exactly for what it felt like, but' I turned into a sword for him. I've thought my weapon form was broken since I've been're-alive, but I guess not' Still, you're only supposed to transform for your handler" I don't know what this means, but I'm not sure I like it' Katan is an amazing friend, and I love working with him' Could I be in battle with him' Could we deal with the evils that come with such a bond"....It scares me" Thinking of him dying. I don't know, I can't handle when people die around me"

Oh! The anniversary of when Val and I met is coming up! Well, it's a couple months away, but I'm excited! I already got his present. I'm not gonna write it in here because he might snoop?but I'll say it after I give it to him. Take that, Val! Ha!...I lost the color changing pen...

Anyways, I'll try to write more when I can!

Martyr

Date: 2013-05-02 02:04 EST
5/2/13

A lot of things have happened since I've last written" I know I said I would write more, and I'm very sorry that I haven't been"

The first thing is, that, well" Valcroix and I were going out to dinner, and this thing stopped us. At first it was wearing a cloak. It had a talon for an arm, like I used to! I don't have that anymore" I think Katan really did fix my weapon form. Val fought it, and won. Then, when he pulled the hood down, its eyes were carved out and somebody had shoved purple rocks in them, they were the same color as mine" Was it supposed to look like me" The note on him said" Well, I can't remember exactly what it said, but it had the word martyrdom in it. I don't know exactly what it means, but' I think it has something to do with me" We never can go out to dinner and not have something crazy happen"

Also' There's something inside of me now" I can feel it. I'm tired, all the time" I'm cranky, all the time, and now I have one of Diritas" scars....I feel it pulsing at night, and it keeps me awake. There's a constant pain there now, burning my back up. I've felt a lot of things in my life, but I've never felt pain for more than a few moments"

My brother says that if I don't eat souls, I'm going to die" He tells me to just let Phoenix out, and she'll keep feeding me energy. I can't do it, not if it means I have to kill somebody' This means that if they don't find a way to get this out of me, I'll be devoured from the inside out' Katan and my brother might be in danger, too. My brother and I have a natural bond, and Katan is my handler" They might go for him next. The only thing I can do is try to stay alive long enough for them to get it out of me"

So, future Martyr who has lost her memories, you might not be around to read this after all?

Phoenix Black

Date: 2013-05-02 02:16 EST
W/T/F

Future Martyr who has lost her memories" Martyr, you have to be the most na've, moronic, weak person in the world" Seriously' Just reading all of this gives me a headache" You're APOLOGIZING to your journal! First of all" You're not going to lose your memories again, and second of all, well, you're an idiot.

You're marrying a guy you conceived a child with after knowing him for all of?two days" Do you know what it's like to be stuck in your head through those things!" The baby talk to Max" The fact that you can just SIT there and watch those ridiculous cartoons" Don't get me started on Val" What do you guys even to together" You follow him around wherever he goes like some weird little lap dog, and he drinks and smokes" He has to be the most boring person I've ever met!

That brings me to your choice of friends" What the hell is with the 'sailor" anyways" He's a piece of work" I swear, you purposely put yourself into dangerous situations just to make me get you out of them. Then there's that Katan fellow. Did you really pick HIM to be your handler" That's ridiculous, Martyr, even for you? He's weak, has no spine, and to be honest' He's annoying! And that Asian' Well, actually, she's kind of hot' I think I'm going to make you dream about her sometime? Ha! Yeah, I'm definitely going to do that'

I look forward to the day you rot, Phoenix.