((The following scene takes place in the middle of Supernatural Episode 7x3, "The Girl Next Door", while Dean is lying low with Sam and Bobby at Rufus' hunting cabin in Montana and recuperating from a broken leg. Meanwhile, younger Dean and Paige travel through the portal from Rhydin so that he can see Sam one last time, but instead, they run into his older self, whose soul has been separated from his, creating two Deans, one older, one younger.))
Whitefish, Montana Fall 2011" I did my best to comfort Paige, to dry her tears. I'd already guessed what had happened between her and my alter ego. My other half. My older, bitter self. After all, I was him and he was me, and I knew what I'd have done if I was in his shoes. I left Paige in the car and started toward the hunting cabin in the woods that had once, apparently, belonged to Rufus. If Bobby had ever had a best friend, it had probably been Rufus. They'd fought like brothers, like me and Sam, but in the end, were devoted to each other. I used to think my Dad was Bobby's best friend, but looking back, I realize Dad never really let anyone get close, not even me. I used to wonder what it would be like if Bobby was our Dad. In some ways, he was more of a father to us than John ever was, but it doesn't do any good to think like that. It only drives you crazy. The cabin wasn't much to speak of. Nothing fancy, just some place to lie low in the middle of nowhere. I wasn't sure yet what had happened to Bobby's house or why he and Sam and me were there. I wasn't sure of a lot of things, but I had a feeling I was about to find out. Paige hadn't really prepared me for what I'd find when I ventured through that door. The place was a mess, and that's putting it mildly. Someone had tried to clean it up, most likely, Paige, but I noticed bits of broken glass on the floor and other tell-tale signs of someone's rage.
What surprised me the most, though, was myself. I'd gotten used to seeing a younger face when I looked in the mirror over the last few months and seeing my older self right there in front of me was a little unsettling, almost as unsettling as it had been coming face to face with post-Apocalyptic future me. It was the same old me. I didn't look any different than what I remembered really, except for one thing. "What happened?" I asked, seeing the cast that went half up my other half's right leg. "What do you think happened?" Older Dean told me, his voice sounding older and rougher than I remembered it. "It's broken." "Well, yeah?" I agreed. That much was obvious. "But how?" "It's a long story, and we're running out of time," he replied sourly, giving me the once over, and I realized this had to be as weird for him as it was for me. "Sam will be back soon, and you need to be gone." "Sam is why I'm here. I'm not leaving until I see him and make sure he's all right." "I know why you're here, but you can't see him," he answered, stubbornness or anger flashing in familiar green eyes. "What do you mean?" I started. "I mean you can't see him. He's not right. I don't know if he's ever gonna be right." I knew Sam's grip on sanity was tenuous, at best. I knew the wall Death had put up in Sam's mind to keep him from remembering Hell wasn't going to last forever, but I'd never given up on him. In a lot of ways, Sam was stronger than me. After thirty years in Hell, Alistair had finally broken me. I never for a minute thought Lucifer would ever break Sam.
"What do you mean, he's not right' What's wrong with him?" "You know what?s wrong with him. The wall came down, and he came close to losing his mind. He almost shot me. Thought I was Lucifer, so if you think I'm gonna let you see him, you're wrong. You're not getting close to him. Seeing you could put him over the edge, and I'm not willing to take that risk. Are you?" My heart sank when I realized he was right. I should have realized it right from the start. This entire trip had been in vain. It had done more harm than good. Paige was a mess from seeing an older, broken me. I was a mess because of Paige and Sam, and I could only guess what my other half was feeling seeing Paige and knowing she belonged to me. But I wasn't ready to give up, not yet. "It can't be that hopeless. What about Cas?" I asked, shoving my hands in my jeans pockets as I stood a polite distance from where he sat, afraid to get too close for fear our souls might be melded again, and then what would I do'
The last time I'd seen Cas, he'd been bent on releasing the souls from Purgatory and taking control of Heaven away from Rafael. I knew things had changed since then. I knew Balthazar and Rafael were dead. Ezekiel had told me as much, but he hadn't revealed much more than that. "Cas is dead," the older Dean remarked, his voice as cold as his words, but I knew better. I knew he was hiding his pain behind those cold, emotionless words. I knew because in that moment, I felt his pain, and it tore through me like a knife. "Dead?" I echoed, doubtfully. "How can he be dead" He's an angel. How did he die" Who killed him' Was it Crowley?" He looked away, and I knew he was doing his best to keep his emotions in check, but we both were feeling the same thing. Grief. Anger. Confusion. Cas had been like a brother, a mentor, and most importantly, he had been a friend. He'd pulled me out of Hell and given me another chance at life. He'd sent me and Sam to Rhydin to keep us safe from Raphael. He'd sacrificed so much for us, and now he was dead" I shook my head in denial, unable and unwilling to accept it. "No?" "I'm sorry, but it's true. I saw it with my own eyes," my other half told me sadly. "You can call on him all you want, but you won't get an answer. He's gone." "God?" I muttered, not realizing in my ignorance the irony of that one word.
"God?" my older self sputtered. "God's the one who started this whole mess."
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Whitefish, Montana Fall 2011" I did my best to comfort Paige, to dry her tears. I'd already guessed what had happened between her and my alter ego. My other half. My older, bitter self. After all, I was him and he was me, and I knew what I'd have done if I was in his shoes. I left Paige in the car and started toward the hunting cabin in the woods that had once, apparently, belonged to Rufus. If Bobby had ever had a best friend, it had probably been Rufus. They'd fought like brothers, like me and Sam, but in the end, were devoted to each other. I used to think my Dad was Bobby's best friend, but looking back, I realize Dad never really let anyone get close, not even me. I used to wonder what it would be like if Bobby was our Dad. In some ways, he was more of a father to us than John ever was, but it doesn't do any good to think like that. It only drives you crazy. The cabin wasn't much to speak of. Nothing fancy, just some place to lie low in the middle of nowhere. I wasn't sure yet what had happened to Bobby's house or why he and Sam and me were there. I wasn't sure of a lot of things, but I had a feeling I was about to find out. Paige hadn't really prepared me for what I'd find when I ventured through that door. The place was a mess, and that's putting it mildly. Someone had tried to clean it up, most likely, Paige, but I noticed bits of broken glass on the floor and other tell-tale signs of someone's rage.
What surprised me the most, though, was myself. I'd gotten used to seeing a younger face when I looked in the mirror over the last few months and seeing my older self right there in front of me was a little unsettling, almost as unsettling as it had been coming face to face with post-Apocalyptic future me. It was the same old me. I didn't look any different than what I remembered really, except for one thing. "What happened?" I asked, seeing the cast that went half up my other half's right leg. "What do you think happened?" Older Dean told me, his voice sounding older and rougher than I remembered it. "It's broken." "Well, yeah?" I agreed. That much was obvious. "But how?" "It's a long story, and we're running out of time," he replied sourly, giving me the once over, and I realized this had to be as weird for him as it was for me. "Sam will be back soon, and you need to be gone." "Sam is why I'm here. I'm not leaving until I see him and make sure he's all right." "I know why you're here, but you can't see him," he answered, stubbornness or anger flashing in familiar green eyes. "What do you mean?" I started. "I mean you can't see him. He's not right. I don't know if he's ever gonna be right." I knew Sam's grip on sanity was tenuous, at best. I knew the wall Death had put up in Sam's mind to keep him from remembering Hell wasn't going to last forever, but I'd never given up on him. In a lot of ways, Sam was stronger than me. After thirty years in Hell, Alistair had finally broken me. I never for a minute thought Lucifer would ever break Sam.
"What do you mean, he's not right' What's wrong with him?" "You know what?s wrong with him. The wall came down, and he came close to losing his mind. He almost shot me. Thought I was Lucifer, so if you think I'm gonna let you see him, you're wrong. You're not getting close to him. Seeing you could put him over the edge, and I'm not willing to take that risk. Are you?" My heart sank when I realized he was right. I should have realized it right from the start. This entire trip had been in vain. It had done more harm than good. Paige was a mess from seeing an older, broken me. I was a mess because of Paige and Sam, and I could only guess what my other half was feeling seeing Paige and knowing she belonged to me. But I wasn't ready to give up, not yet. "It can't be that hopeless. What about Cas?" I asked, shoving my hands in my jeans pockets as I stood a polite distance from where he sat, afraid to get too close for fear our souls might be melded again, and then what would I do'
The last time I'd seen Cas, he'd been bent on releasing the souls from Purgatory and taking control of Heaven away from Rafael. I knew things had changed since then. I knew Balthazar and Rafael were dead. Ezekiel had told me as much, but he hadn't revealed much more than that. "Cas is dead," the older Dean remarked, his voice as cold as his words, but I knew better. I knew he was hiding his pain behind those cold, emotionless words. I knew because in that moment, I felt his pain, and it tore through me like a knife. "Dead?" I echoed, doubtfully. "How can he be dead" He's an angel. How did he die" Who killed him' Was it Crowley?" He looked away, and I knew he was doing his best to keep his emotions in check, but we both were feeling the same thing. Grief. Anger. Confusion. Cas had been like a brother, a mentor, and most importantly, he had been a friend. He'd pulled me out of Hell and given me another chance at life. He'd sent me and Sam to Rhydin to keep us safe from Raphael. He'd sacrificed so much for us, and now he was dead" I shook my head in denial, unable and unwilling to accept it. "No?" "I'm sorry, but it's true. I saw it with my own eyes," my other half told me sadly. "You can call on him all you want, but you won't get an answer. He's gone." "God?" I muttered, not realizing in my ignorance the irony of that one word.
"God?" my older self sputtered. "God's the one who started this whole mess."
http://i41.tinypic.com/23kc7kj.jpg