Topic: Mothering Sam-day (AU)

Jo Winchester

Date: 2013-08-10 06:47 EST
29th October, 2012

It had been an ....interesting couple of months. Though they were all antsy to begin their respective hunts, there was too much information to be passed back and forth between the group, too much skill to be shared. No one wanted to pass up the chance to be completely prepared for what might come, and equally, no one wanted to face Nim's wrath if the hunts began without her. All eyes watched the gentle rounding of her belly with as much curiosity as concern, until finally the day of that first scan came. Dean had insisted on driving her to the hospital for it himself, refusing to let anyone else come with them, and two hours later, they returned, proudly in possession of a little photograph of their unborn son.

Nim's pregnancy brought mixed feelings for Dean, but the worry he felt went far deeper than that of the usual expectant father. He was not only worried for his wife's well-being and his son's safety, but he was worried what might happen once the cat was out of the bag, so to speak. Dean didn't really want any Back to the Future moments in Sam's life, where he might get erased before he even had a chance to be born, and yet, he knew he couldn't keep Nim locked in a gilded cage forever. They'd managed to keep it a secret for the the last few months, but they couldn't keep it to themselves forever.

For her own part, Nim was trying not to linger too much on what would happen the moment word got out that the Winchesters were expecting. As happy as she was with her growing bump and the promise of a family sooner rather than later, she knew there were a lot of things out there that would make her a priority target if they could. As though being number one on Hades' hit-list wasn't bad enough. But at the same time, she knew she was well protected; that Dean wouldn't let anything happen to her and, if the kids were to be believed, she had an Olympian in her pocket, too. But today, she didn't want to think about all that. Today, she had gotten her first glimpse of their baby boy - grown up Sam excepted, obviously - and was still grinning like a fool when the Impala pulled up outside B&E Salvage once again.

Now that Dean had proof positive in the way of a picture that seemed a little miraculous in itself, besides the growing bump at Nim's middle, he had become even more protective, even more considerate than ever before. He insisted on getting out of the car first and helping her out, as if she was suddenly made of china and might break without his constant help and care. It was going to drive her nuts after a while, if he kept it up, but for now, it had only been a few hours since he'd become Super Dad. He had her by the elbow as they made their way toward the porch, mirroring her grin, though his joy was mixed with worry. "Careful of the stairs!" he warned as he led her onto the porch.

For Dean's sake, his wife was being patient with him for now, but she was pretty sure he knew he was stamping his one way ticket to a punch if he didn't let up soon. Still, she let him hold her elbow as they moved up and over the porch, batting his hand away with a quiet chuckle as she reached for the screen door. "Swear to God, princess, you're worse than Ellen," she accused him fondly. "How many times do I have to say it' I'm pregnant, not anything else. My legs haven't suddenly stopped working just because I'm rounding out a bit." More than a bit, in fact - she was small and slender, and at 13 weeks, she had a bump that couldn't be mistaken for anything but what it was. Ellen had even taken her for a brief trip to the mall a couple of weeks back to get the young hunter clothes that fit without needing string to hold them closed.

"We're home!" Dean announced as he pulled open the screen door to let them both into the safety of the Singer house, where gods and demons and even angels were kept at bay by all means possible. Sam was nowhere to be found, though all of this fuss was about him....or what would become him. Maybe that was why. He was feeling just a little awkward about the whole thing, unsure how he was supposed to react to his mother carrying his younger self around inside her.

Predictably enough, Ellen was the only one who blatantly responded to that announcement, hurrying from the kitchen to greet them, too excited about their pregnancy to feign disinterest. She had lost her own child almost thirty years before - a child who might have been a version of Joanna Beth, if she had lived - and despite promising Dean not to be too overzealous about it, she was living a little vicariously through Nim right now.

As Ellen seized the ultrasound photo to exclaim over it happily, Nim rolled her eyes, glancing into the main room to find Bobby, Ayden, and Hope all staring at her with the same interest. It was certainly awkward, being the center of that much attention, and she dropped back to murmur into Dean's ear. "You okay to play excited daddy for a bit?" she asked hopefully. "I think I'm gonna punch the first person who reaches out to touch my bump."

"Long as it's not me," he whispered back, grinning like the Cheshire Cat, more than happy to play the excited Daddy and not really having to make much effort, since that was mostly how he was feeling already. He kissed her cheek and rubbed his fingers against her baby bump, just because he could, tempting her to punch him for it. At least, he hadn't asked to rub her Buddha Belly....yet.

She snorted with laughter as she felt his hand against the rounded bulge at her waistline, leaning into his kiss fondly. "Dude, you're asking for it," she promised him, patting his cheek gently. "Later." Stepping away, she only just remembered to turn back and assure him she wasn't going far. "I'm just going upstairs, okay' No freaking out."

He nodded, knowing without asking where she was going - to find their eldest son. Dean had noticed that Sam was missing from those gathered in the living room, awaiting Nim's return from the doctor's office with quiet but eager anticipation. It was nothing short of a miracle that she hadn't been pounced yet by anyone other than Ellen. Dean snagged Ellen and practically dragged her into the main room to show the very early baby pictures to the rest of the family while his wife sought out their eldest.

Jo Winchester

Date: 2013-08-10 06:48 EST
Smiling at the sight of Dean somehow managing to distract everyone there with his I'm gonna be a dad routine - which she had to admit, he had perfected over the past weeks - Nim shucked off her jacket, hanging it up before she took the stairs. Sam had been a little off right from the get-go this morning, and though she hadn't drawn any attention to it, she had to admit she was a little concerned about her grown up son. It was an odd situation, to say the least, but she wasn't prepared to let him wallow in the strangeness. Even if he didn't want to be found, she was persistent enough to charm her way into his company.

As soon as she hit the stairs, the sound of Pink Floyd would lead her right to him. He was given to occasional mood swings where he'd sit for hours listening to The Wall over and over again - not exactly the most uplifting music in the world, but not as loud and obnoxious as some of the music his father was known to have played. He claimed it helped him think, but the truth was, it sometimes made him think too much. Samuel Robert Winchester was a strange mix of Dean and Nim and Sam, the best and worst of all of them rolled into one.

Well, at least he's not making it hard to find him, she thought to herself as she rolled her sleeves up comfortably, making her way from the top of the stairs to the room her eldest son had claimed for himself once Brian had gone back to Chicago. Gently pushing the door open, she knocked, her smile warm as her gaze found the young man who was walking proof that the child in her womb would be strong, healthy, and as handsome as his father. "Hey," she greeted him in a quiet voice. "Mind if I come in?"

He wasn't really expecting anyone to come looking for him - especially not his mother - considering all the excitement that was going on in the house, all the excitement over a baby that would one day be him, if he survived. And if not, well, he didn't really want to think about that. He was laying on his back, his arms tucked behind his head, staring up at the ceiling as the strains of Pink Floyd echoed through the room, but as soon as he saw her at the door, he swung his feet off the bed and moved to his feet to shut the stereo off. "Yeah, I guess. I mean, you'll already in."

"I can always shut you in and walk away again," she pointed out, but didn't take her own offer to leave, instead stepping inside and pushing the door to behind her. He seemed to still be in that odd mood, quiet and a little awkward, but if he hadn't wanted her there, he would have told her. At least, she hoped he would have. "Are you okay, big man?" Nim asked him in that same quiet voice, reaching up to sweep his hair off his brow.

He looked over, arching a brow as she pushed the door closed behind her, knowing a long talk was coming or maybe a lecture. He was old enough to remember his mother and the long talks they'd had when he was a kid. He'd often felt closer to her than to his father, though he equally loved and missed them both. It was a little disconcerting to be talking to a woman who had been dead for over a decade. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" he replied, that part of him that was his father making itself known. "Everything okay with....you know..." he didn't complete the question, feeling awkward knowing the baby growing inside her was him.

She couldn't resist her response, given how perfectly he had set it up for her. "Well, you'll be pleased to know you're a boy," she told him with a grin, moving to sit down on the edge of his bed, patting the cover beside her. "I could be wrong, but your dad is possibly showing everyone downstairs the proof as we speak. You know, just in case you weren't sure." Her hand gently rubbed the little mound beneath her top. "Everything's fine, Sam," she promised him. "Healthy as anything. I came to see how you are, though. You've been kinda quiet today."

He frowned at her, not looking too terribly amused by the joke that came at his expense, though he didn't miss a beat with his reply, proving he was, indeed, Dean Winchester's son. "Good to know. I've been wondering about that for years." He had not yet called her Mom, though she clearly was his mother. It was a bit weird having a mother that was so close to your own age, at least, in this time period, but he'd known that was something he'd have to deal with when he and Hope had decided to come here. He glanced briefly at the bump that was growing beneath her shirt, knowing it was real and not a balloon she had stuffed under there, that frown still in place. "I'm fine. It's just kind of weird, you know?"

"I know." Nim's expression was just a little sad - though she felt a closeness with Sam, he was always just a little stand-offish, holding her at arm's length. And she had a feeling she knew why. Her head tilted as she looked up at him. "It's okay not to know how to feel about all this, Sammy," she told him softly. "But you and your sister, you're here to change one event. One event that means you won't be going back to a time where you're the one in charge. We'll be there," she promised him, her voice gentle as she held his gaze. "You don't have to be afraid of getting to know us."

"If it doesn't work?" He frowned down at her, from where he still stood near the stereo, almost afraid to sit down beside her, knowing she'd try to push all his worries aside and assure him that everything would be all right. Well, she'd done that before when he was a kid, and everything hadn't been all right. She had died and nothing had been the same after that. "What if we go back and nothing has changed" What if things are worse?"

"They won't be worse." She shook her head, confident enough to be able to say this for certain. "Because even if this doesn't work, we know now, and we can keep at it after you go home. Sam, believe me, I know it's hard, but you've gotta have a little faith in us. We know what we're doing."

Sam turned away from his mother to fiddle aimlessly with the knobs of the stereo without turning it on, just to have something to do with his hands. "What if I told you I was thinking about not going back?" he asked quietly, almost timidly, already assuming how she'd feel about that idea.

Jo Winchester

Date: 2013-08-10 06:49 EST
To her credit, Nim didn't respond straight away, watching him fiddling with the stereo, wondering if that was guilt she could feel coming off him or simple nerves. "Are you telling me that?" she asked him softly. "Or did you already make up your mind?" She bit her lip thoughtfully - she had no place to tell him what he should or shouldn't do, given the way she had been introduced to this version of a world that had already killed her once. "'Cos you'd need to really think it through, before making that decision. And sometimes - most times - the right thing isn't what we want at all."

"I've been thinking about it," he admitted, his back still turned to her, mostly because he knew if he looked at her, he'd do whatever she asked, even if it wasn't what he wanted. Sure, he had a life back home, but the beauty of it was, he still would whether he went back or not

She sighed softly. She could understand the temptation, but there were so many complications, so many things that could go wrong. And yet, if he stayed, they would have another layer of knowledge to use against the enemies ranged against them. And ultimately, it's not our decision to make, she reminded herself. It's his. "I'm not gonna tell you what to do, baby," she told him, her voice quiet and a little resigned. "It's your life. Just ....just make sure you really think about it, before you come to a decision. 'Cos I think once it's made, there's no goin' back."

"The thing is....I can do more good here than back home and....if Hope and I fix things, won't I be there anyway?" He turned to face her then to meet her gaze and look her in the eyes with a steady green-eyed gaze of his own, so much like his father's, though younger and more serious. "You're still gonna have me. I'm still gonna grow up, but if we fix things, I won't have to come back here again. If we fix things, the future will take care of itself." And at some point, the present would catch up to the future, and there would only be two Sams - one younger and one older. "I'd be like....an older brother or something. I don't know." He chewed at the corner of his mouth a moment. "You're not much older than I am, and Dad is what....ten years older than me, maybe? You need me here."

Nim couldn't help it; she chuckled a little, feeling a bit helpless in the face of his logical thinking. And despite herself, she could see that logic herself, her mind turning to what might be necessary to make it happen. "You're right," she nodded, agreeing with him to a point. "As it stands, I'm, what? Seven years older than you, and your dad, he's six years older than that. You wouldn't be able to keep Winchester as your name, though. Dean ....he's struggling enough getting used to life without his brother. And two Sam Winchesters would be tough to brave out in anything official." She shrugged. "I don't know, Sam, I really don't. I think you should talk to your sister about it, for one thing. But if you do decide to stay' Maybe Ellen and Bobby would give you their name. You'd still be family, no matter what."

He shrugged his shoulders. "Since when do hunters need ID' It's not like I'm gonna be filling out a tax return." Sam Winchester or Sam Singer, it was all the same to him. "A rose by any other name," he remarked, knowing from his father's journal and his stories that his own mother had more than one name - Nimue Morgan-Winchester who had once been Joanna Beth Harvelle. His frown twitched a little at the mention of his sister, knowing Hope wouldn't be happy about letting him stay. "If everything goes right, I'll be there when she gets back." In theory, anyway. "She won't even miss me." He'd miss her far more than she'd miss him.

"And if you meet someone, someone you wanna marry maybe?" Perhaps it was foremost in her mind, given how newly married she was, but it was a valid point. "Look, sweetie, you can't make this decision so soon, okay' I can see you've thought it all through, and yeah, I get your point. If, in the end, this is what you decide, then I'll be behind you. I'll fight your corner. But don't give up on the future just yet, okay?"

"Marry?" Sam echoed, doubtfully. Sure, he'd had a few girlfriends, but so far, nothing serious. No one he was going home to, except for his family. He shook his head. Getting married was the furthest thing from his mind, just as it had been when his father had been his age. Why did she think he always kept so much to himself" He didn't want to meet anyone, fall in love, and get his heart broken when she found out what he did for a living. In that way, he was too much like his father, and yet, even Dean had eventually gotten married. There was that frown of his again, worried she'd talk him out of it before he'd even decided. "What am I supposed to do back there? I'm a hunter, Mom. That's all I am. That's all I know how to do."

And there was the crux of her problem. He was a hunter, something she never wanted her children to become. Sure, they should know enough to protect themselves, but beyond that, she wanted her children to have as normal a life as possible. "I never wanted that for you." Her voice cracked as she said it, betraying just how strongly she felt about it. "If you go back, you won't have to be a hunter anymore. You won't even remember being a hunter. I want normal for you, for Hope. For your brother. If you stay, you won't have that."

Sam heard the crack in her voice and knew she was sorry things had turned out this way, but it hadn't been her fault. Not really. He was his father's son. He'd made his choice when he was still a boy. He didn't want to be anything else. He just wanted her to be proud of him, no matter what path he chose for himself. "And if I don't, the same thing will happen. You and Dad need me here. I know what happens in the future. You don't." There was no arguing with his logic really, though he knew she'd try. And if he died, well, he'd only just been conceived. He'd still have a chance to grow up and live a different life. "You know it makes sense. Besides, I..." He chewed at his lip again. "I don't want to leave you."

She'd almost had herself under control again before he added that last part, confirming her suspicions about his behavior thus far. "Oh, sweetie .." She pushed herself up from where she sat, reaching out to wrap him up in her arms. Even if he was only a few years younger than her, even if he was a young man who just happened to share something beyond comprehension with the baby in her womb, he was still her son at some level. And she, despite her lack of belief in her own maternal instinct, was his mother.

Jo Winchester

Date: 2013-08-10 06:49 EST
He stiffened for a moment as she wrapped her arms around him, defensive, trying to keep a stiff upper lip. He didn't want her to see him break down, to know how devastated he'd been when she and Dean had died, and then Ellen and Bobby, leaving him and Ayden to take care of his younger siblings, to try and keep them safe in a world that was increasingly dangerous. "I miss you, Mom," he admitted quietly, closing his eyes as he tried to pretend she was the way he remembered her. In some ways, she was the same and in others, very different. In truth, she hardly knew him, and yet, he could sense the desire in her to comfort him, the same way she did in the past, which was her future.

Her palm cupped the back of his head as he gave into the comfort she offered him, stroking his hair as though he were still a small child, utterly unaware that this was all a part of being a mother. "I'm right here, Sammy," she whispered to him, gentle and warm and just wavering on the edge of tears. "No matter what you decide, right here and now, I'm here. And I want to help, however I can."

It occurred to him that if he and Hope were successful in stopping the Fates, when they returned home, he'd have it all. His family would be there - all of them - and he might remember none of this. It would be like it had never happened. Part of him wanted that, but the other part knew there were more important things than one's own happiness. He and Hope had already broken the rules, but he didn't think it was any worse than what the Olympians had done. He was needed here, now. It was a small price to pay not to enjoy the fruits of his labor. There was a little boy growing inside his mother who would.

His breath caught in throat as he fought against the rising tide of emotions, and he had to wait a moment before he could trust himself to speak without betraying his own feelings. He breathed her in, the scent of her reminding him of his childhood. Despite everything, it had been a happy one. He had his parents to thank for that. "I have to talk to Hope," he admitted. No decision could be made for certain until he did that.

Nim swallowed hard against the lump in her throat, unwilling to let go of him until she felt him get back on an even keel once again. She barely knew this young man, and yet she loved him as deeply as she loved the tiny boy growing beneath her heart. He was family; he was her family, and with only two years of life there in her memory, family was all the more precious to her.

She closed her eyes as she stroked Sam's hair, his back, surprising herself with how gentle she could be with a boy who should have been stronger than her. But she could feel him breaking a little bit, even as he thought his way through those pitfalls and consequences, and some part of her knew he had already made his decision at heart. But she was glad to hear him agree; he had to talk to his sister before the thought was finalized. "Whatever you decide, Sammy," she promised him quietly, touching a kiss to his hair that was far more maternal than she would ever have thought herself capable of, "I'll support it."

He wanted to ask her what she wanted, what she thought he should go, but he knew it didn't really matter. He had to make this decision for himself, no matter what anyone else wanted. "I don't....I don't want to get in the way," he admitted quietly, worrying that if he did stay, it would somehow take away from the baby that was growing inside her. He wasn't a child anymore and didn't expect to be coddled. The fact was that though the baby growing inside her was him, if he and Hope changed things, that Sam Winchester would have a far different life than he'd known and be a much different person.

She sniffed softly, drawing back to stroke his cheek fondly. "You know what? Screw you being a Singer," she told him firmly. "If you stay, you're my little brother. 'Cos you need someone to look after you, just as much as you're lookin' after us." She drew his forehead to hers, so much like the moments she shared with his father but somehow different, a more innocent intimacy that could only happen between close family. "I know I don't know you well yet, but I love you. Whatever you decide, you will be loved, and wanted, and you will never be in the way. You hear me?"

Forced to meet her gaze as she drew back, there was a suspicious wetness in his eyes that he hoped she didn't notice. He knew the hardest part of all this would be saying goodbye to his sister and to never see her or Johnny again until they were born. Even then, he'd be more like an uncle than a big brother. He smiled a little through his tears, amused at how Nim took charge of things even now, just like he remembered. His father liked to think he was in charge, but Sam knew it was really his mother who called the shots. "I'm old enough to be your brother," he agreed, tears welling in his eyes as she assured him he was loved and would always be loved, remembering when she'd told him that very thing so many years ago. "I love you, Mom," he said, his voice cracking on the words, even as he struggled to maintain his composure.

"I know, baby. And I'm not goin' anywhere," she told him gently. "No one's gonna let me, least of all you." She touched a kiss to his cheek, affectionate, protective, wanting nothing more than to wrap him up close and never let him go, wishing he'd never had to face the worst of the world at all. "If it comes to it, let me handle your dad. I got a feeling an argument between you two would lift the roof."

"He loves you," Sam pointed out, stating the obvious. He lifted a hand to wipe the tears from his face before they got out of control, her lips tasting his tears as she kissed his face. "If anyone can talk him into or out of anything, it's you," he told her with a small smile. He remembered more than a few arguments between his parents, but he also remembered the tenderness between them when they made up.

"That's 'cos I'm just as stubborn as he is," she smiled back at him. "Guess that's where you get it from, huh?" She drew back just a little, giving him the distance he'd bee so carefully maintaining since he'd arrived in this time with his sister. "So ....I'm guessing you don't want to see any pictures of your mini-me in utero, right?"

Jo Winchester

Date: 2013-08-10 06:50 EST
He screwed up his face, scrunching his noise and scowling a little, reminiscent of the faces he'd made when she'd tried to talk him into eating his peas and carrots as a boy, but she couldn't know that - not yet, anyway. "No, thanks. That's a little too weird, even for me." The scowl faded, and he smiled a little, imagining his proud father passing the picture around for everyone to see. "Dad's really happy about it, isn't he?"

Nim chuckled quietly at his expression, her smile softening as he turned the talk to Dean. "He really is," she nodded confidently, moving to sit down once again. "Terrified he's gonna be a bad father, which I personally think is probably the most wrong he has ever been about anything, but very happy. And very excited." She tipped her head to meet Sam's gaze. "He's proud of you, you know. So am I."

He watched as she pulled away from him again, torn between his desire to be her little boy again and the need to protect her, like the man he was. What would it be like watching himself grow up" What would he be to himself" An uncle" A big brother" Would he love his younger self the same way he loved Hope and Johnny' He'd have to watch from a distance while his parents loved a baby that both was and wasn't him. He shrugged his shoulders, as if none of it mattered. "How can he be proud of me when he doesn't even know me yet?"

"We don't need to know you to be proud of you," she pointed out with a half-smile, patting the bed beside her in invitation. "Your sister thinks the sun shines outta your *ss, you took out a Hybrid Alpha by yourself, you risked everything to come back in time and save your family. You're a lot like your dad, Sam. There's a lot to be proud of."

"Yeah?" he asked, doubtfully. It wasn't that his father had been hard on him or busted his chops as a kid, but as close as Sam was to his mother, he had always idolized his father, wanting to be like him when he grew up, as much as his mother hoped he didn't. With a small uncertain frown, he finally accepted her invitation and sat down on the bed beside her, glancing curiously at the roundness that was just starting at her middle. "Can I?" he asked, lifting a tentative hand. He remembered feeling Johnny move beneath his hand all those years ago, though he knew it was way too soon for him to feel anything like that. He couldn't know it, but there was irony in the fact that his father had been sent back to his own past and met his mother Mary when she'd been pregnant with him.

"Really." Nim was absolutely certain of that fact, refusing to let his doubt take away from the fact that his father was proud of him. "Trust me. He might not say it, but he feels it. Your dad's not the best at expressing himself." Her smile deepened as Sam came to sit beside her, his hand hesitating in mid-air, and despite her threat to Dean that she was going to punch the next person who tried it, Sam didn't really count. She leaned back. "Knock yourself out."

"You believe in souls?" he asked his mother, as he very gently settled a hand against the swell of her stomach. It was too soon to feel any movement yet, but he felt some kind of strange connection with the child that was growing inside her, like two pieces of the same soul. Twins born out of time.

Most hunters believed in souls, but Nim had better reason than most to believe whole-heartedly. Her soul was unique, torn from the briefest moment before it was stolen to the afterlife from the dimension she had been born into, and pressed into this world, this alternate place, to wait for her mate to come to her. If Apollo was to be believed, Aphrodite had done it on purpose, uniting mated souls denied their chance in one life here, to give them a second chance. But Nim could follow where Sam was going with that thought, gently covering his hand with her own. "Yeah, I do," she told him affectionately.

"If we're two pieces of the same soul, how can we be apart?" he asked, as she covered his hand with hers, looking to her with a puzzled look in his eyes. Between the two siblings, Sam was clearly the thinker. It was something he had in common with his namesake.

"How does a dream work?" she countered with a one-shouldered shrug. "What makes magic real" Why is family so important' Some questions don't have answers, Sam, and you shouldn't push too hard to find a solution. Just accept it. Just because you share a soul, doesn't mean either of you are lessened by it. Doesn't mean I'll love either of you any less than the other." She considered it for a moment before adding, "Might be weird, but ....it's kinda comforting, too."

He knew he was asking a question that couldn't really be answered, but he couldn't help but wonder. She was the one he'd always gone to when he was struggling with things, such as this - when he was trying to figure things out. It wasn't that he didn't trust his father, but Dean was a do-er. Dean was the one Sam went to if he needed help with a school project or needed something fixed that had been broken. Nim was the one he went to when he needed advice from the heart. "How's it comforting?" he asked, arching his brows curious as he pulled his hand away finally.

She let out a gentle sigh as he drew his hand away, meeting his gaze with honest bemusement. "It's sort of hard to explain," she admitted, refusing to lie to him. "It's probably not gonna comfort you, but ....well ....I get to see the beautiful soul my son has, before he's born. I get to look at you, and know in a way that no other mom ever could that my little boy is gonna be amazing. And better than that, I know that this little boy -" Her hand touched her rounded bump for a moment. "Will be watched over by this little boy." That same hand rose to tweak the end of his nose as she smiled. "And no matter what happens, I'll never need to worry that I'm going to corrupt an innocent soul by being a terrible mother. Because you're awesome, and that means he will be, too."

He wasn't sure what to say to that. She had reached inside him and touched his heart and his soul with her words. In that moment, he made up his mind and decided. No matter what the future might bring or what his family might say, he was staying here in this time because now that he was here, now that he was reminded of all that he'd lost, he couldn't possibly leave. This was where he was needed, this was where he belonged.

Jo Winchester

Date: 2013-08-10 06:52 EST
"That, and I get to outright blame you personally for heartburn, constant trips to the toilet, and the fact that my pants don't fit," she added as an afterthought, dark eyes twinkling as she watched him with a teasing smile. This Sam was far too serious, she had already worked out. He was just going to have to get used to being teased, because she wasn't going to let up. He should smile more, and if he wasn't careful, that could become Nim's mission in life.

"Sounds like you've already made up my mind for me," he remarked with a smile that could light up a room if he only let himself do it more often. He knew he was taking a chance in staying. He also knew if the Fates or the Olympians found out, they might be gunning for him, but who better to keep an eye on his parents and keep them safe but him' It made perfect sense, even if it did sound kind of crazy.

She chuckled softly, rising to her feet. "Your mind was made up before you even mentioned it to me," she told him fondly, stroking her hand against his neck as she bent to kiss his forehead. "As I tell your father all too frequently these days ....pregnant, not brain dead." She winked, ruffling his hair as she laughed.

He followed her with his eyes as she moved to her feet, bending to kiss his forehead the way she had countless times when she'd tucked him into bed at night. He was far too old for that now, but a part of him deep inside that was still a boy missed it more than he cared to admit, and his heart lurched at the familiarity of her touch and the tenderness behind it. He neither confirmed nor denied her remark. She knew him far better than most anyone, save maybe Hope. "You should go join Dad before he sends out a search party," he remarked gently.

"Prepare to be hugged to within an inch of my life, huh?" Nim chuckled once again, gently chucking her fingers beneath his chin. "Are you coming down" It won't just be me that noticed your mood this morning, and trust me, being cornered by Ellen is no picnic." It wasn't that she didn't like Ellen, not at all. It was just strange being aware that this woman was another version of the woman who had been her mother in another world that she had no memory of at all. It was awkward, and would probably always be so.

There was that frown again, worried what they'd say when they found out what he'd decided. But it wasn't really Dean or Ellen or Bobby he was worried about - it was Hope. Unlike some of the others, he was unable to turn his moods on and off, and had avoided the others so that they wouldn't suspect anything was bothering him. He knew this was supposed to be a happy time, but he wasn't sure how he felt about it. "It's just weird," he said with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Okay, you know what? Up." Nim wasn't going to let Sam wallow in his moods; she knew his father, after all, and was fairly sure that if you let a Winchester wallow, the mood could last for days on end. Reaching down, she took hold of his arm and pulled. "You're going to teach me how to flip pancakes," she told him with a faint grin. "Because that's what I'm craving, and I can guarantee you're not gonna be able to stay moody once you've seen me trying."

He arched a brow up at her as she tugged at his arm. "What, now?" he asked skeptically, assuming she was just trying to distract him from his worries. Pancakes were sort of a tradition in the Winchester household - or at least, had been when Sam had been a boy. Every Sunday morning, he and his father got up before everyone else and made pancakes for breakfast. They weren't always perfect, but they were made with love and Sunday mornings were always full of fun and laughter. Sunday was the one day of the week that had always been reserved for family and not the family business. Sam couldn't help but chuckle at the memory of his mother's continued failed attempts to flip pancakes, no matter how many times he and Dean had tried to teach her. "You can't flip pancakes to save your life."

"Yes, now!" Her own smile rose as he chuckled, pleased to see that his good humor was retrievable. "Dude, you either get up, or you get to explain to everyone why I'm sitting on the floor when they come running up here at the thump I'm gonna make when I land," she added warningly, tugging once again at his arm. "And at least I'm willing to learn. And, you know, fail, apparently."

He rolled his eyes up at her, but grudgingly moved to his feet. "You're not gonna quit until I say yes, are you?" He already knew the answer to that, not only because of her threat, but because he knew her so well. She might not know him very well, but he knew her - or at least, a slightly older version of her. His earliest memory of her had been when he'd been a small boy, comforting him when he was sick or woke up with a bad dream. She had always been there for him in that maternal way of hers, and though she might be unsure of herself, he believed in her. He smiled as he moved to his feet, able to give her something back that she'd always given to him. "Just so you know, you're gonna be a great mom."

He obviously knew her better than she'd originally thought - not even Dean gave in this easily. At least, not yet. But the compliment, the praise ....that made her smile deepen, a girlish pleasure obvious in her eyes as her grown up son smiled back at her. "That's good to know," she admitted, nervous as all hell of how appalling a mother she expected herself to be. "Doesn't get you out of a lesson in pancake flipping, though." She laughed, jerking her head toward the door. "C'mon. I'll even hit your dad with the pan if he tries to take over."

The thought of Nim hitting Dean with the pan made Sam laugh, his mood lightening for the first time, not only that day, but in days. He only hoped that when the time came for him to break the news about his decision, they would be as supportive and understanding as she was. And just because he could and because he was happy to be with her again, he wrapped her up in an almost shy hug and whispered for her ears only, "I love you, Mom." She had, after all, been his first love, and would always own a special place in his heart.

His shy embrace startled her, but that moment of surprise didn't last long, overtaken with delight that he had found the confidence enough to express himself, even if it was just to her for now. Her arms wrapped about him as he whispered to her, touched to the heart by how much he must have missed them, her and Dean both, to have risked so much to come back in time. "I love you, too, Sammy," she promised him.

He gave in to her, at last, allowing her to lead him downstairs to brave the others with that promise to let him teach her to flip pancakes - or at least attempt to try. Though his heart was still heavy with worry and a little envious of the child she was carrying inside her, even though that child was a part of himself, he set those worries aside for now for her sake, as much as his own. This was her day, and he wanted her to be happy, no matter what the future might bring and no matter how he might feel about it.

((Another highly enjoyable scene! Yes, we've skipped ahead a couple of months - the goal is to try and catch up, although we've got a couple of other deadlines to deal with, too. Hopefully we'll come back to this soon! :grin: Major massive thanks to Sam's player!))