Topic: Random Conversations

Dean Winchester

Date: 2011-07-02 12:47 EST
"She said she'd rather wait for Jesus," Sam remarked, leaning his tall self against the roof of the Impala and watching his brother, whose expression, even in the moonlight, had turned characteristically sullen. They were discussing a girl who had refused their help, even after they'd explain the danger she was in.

"Yeah, well, I'm not Jesus. I'm not even sure Jesus was real. You ever hear Cas mention Jesus" Just because it's written somewhere doesn't make it so, Sammy."

"It's in The Bible, Dean."

"A book written by men, Sam. Jesus, how old are you? Twenty-seven and you're still so damned gullible. Do you still believe in the Tooth Fairy, too?"

"We've seen fairies, Dean. We know they're real."

"Okay, bad example. How about the Easter Bunny' Do you really believe a bunny brings kids candy on Easter morning?"

"No, but we're not talking about the Easter Bunny. We're talking about the foundation for the entire Christian religion. Ever think about it, Dean' Why does Holy Water burn demons" Why are churches sacred ground" Why are some monsters terrified of crosses?"

"Are you gonna give me the God speech now because I really don't feel like hearing it." Dean leaned back against the windshield of the Impala, hooking his arms behind his head and staring up at the night sky. "Remember when we were kids, Sam' Remember when we used to look up at the stars and wonder what was out there?"

Sam frowned at his brother. When had Dean become so cynical, so bitter" He already knew the answer to that. It was after Dad had died. "Yeah," he replied quietly. "I remember."

"I believed in God then. I didn't understand why God would take Mom away, but I believed there had to be some higher purpose. I believed in Heaven, too. What a joke that turned out to be."

"Dean, Heaven wasn't a joke. Heaven is..." Sam faltered a moment as he tried to put his thoughts into words. "Heaven is what you make of it."

"No, that's life, Sammy," Dean countered. "In Heaven, there is no beer..." Dean broke off, leaving the rest of the ditty unfinished. That's why we drink it here.

"Heaven isn't a strip club, Dean, with girls twenty-four to seven."

"What's Heaven to you, Sam' Flagstaff" Life without me and Dad in it?"

Sam heard the bitter accusation in his brother's voice and huffed sadly. "Come on, Dean. That was a long time ago. It was one time. I needed to get away for a while. I needed a break."

"Really, Sam?" Dean turned his head toward his brother, green eyes flashing in the moonlight. "Because I never got a break. Not once. Not in twenty-seven years. Not from the moment I carried you from the fire."

"I never asked for that, Dean. I never asked you to devote your life to protecting me. Why do you think I left you alone for so long" You were happy with Lisa and Ben. The happiest I've ever seen you."

Dean clenched his jaw and turned back to watch the stars as they traversed the night sky, feeling that old familiar ache in his heart, wishing there really was such a thing as God, some higher being out there who really did give a crap what happened to him. "Shut up, Sam. You don't know anything about what makes me happy."

"Don't I, Dean?" Sam retorted. "I know all you've ever wanted is a normal life, and you had that with Lisa."

Dean quieted a moment. In a way, Sam was right, but the one thing Sam never seemed to understand was that he'd give it all up in a heartbeat for his little brother. "We're never gonna have a normal life, Sam. That's what Heaven is for." If they were lucky, at least, they had that to look forward to.

(Author's Note: This is from the writing prompt for Deviant Art Flash Fiction Month Day 2 - "She said she'd rather wait for Jesus." As soon as I read this line, I knew it was going to develop into some kind of Sam/Dean conversation regarding religion, but I didn't really know where it was going to go until I started writing it. Thought I'd share it here, in case anyone is interested in reading. Word Count: 646)