Topic: Sex, Lies, and Videotape

Dean Winchester

Date: 2011-06-06 18:39 EST
The little bell over the door jingled when Dean walked into the store. He was on the prowl for something to chase away the boredom of sleepless nights, generally something with a lot of flesh and very little plot, but what he was about to find shocked him more than anything he might find late nights on Pay Per View.

There in the TV Section was a plastic-wrapped box entitled "Supernatural: The Complete Fifth Season". On the shiny, shrink-wrapped cover was a photograph of what looked like himself and Sam, but was really some second-rate actors named Padalecki and Ackles.

Dean turned the box over and read the synopsis on the back cover. "Two brothers and one fallen angel - against the might of Satan and his army!"

Dean snorted and rolled his eyes, tearing into the plastic wrap to take a closer look.

"Hey!" A store clerk shouted upon seeing him tearing into the box. "Unwrap it and it's yours, buddy. That'll be forty bucks."

"Forty bucks for this crap?" Dean asked. "That's highway robbery."

The store clerk shrugged. "Forty bucks or I call the Guard."

Dean grumbled under his breath, muttering an expletive. "Have you got..." He glanced at the cover again to check what season he had in his hot little hands. "Seasons One to Four?"

The clerk smirked. "You gay or something" Only teenage girls watch that crap." He searched the shelves, locating and pulling out four more boxes, all with the likenesses of Sam and Dean gracing the covers.

Dean secretly wondered why they always made him look like such a dick.

"Hey," the store clerk looked from the DVDs to Dean. "You an actor" You look just like this Ackles dude."

"No, I'm not an actor," Dean snapped. "And I'm not gay either."

"Yeah, well, you should enter a lookalike contest or something. You could totally win."

Dean ignored the clerk's remark and tapped a finger against the cover of Season Five. "You got any more" I'll take them all."

The store clerk eyed him suspiciously. "All of them?"

"Did I stutter?" Dean retorted. "Yeah, all of them."

"What do you need them for?"

"What the hell do you care" It's money in your pocket, right?"

"Uh, yeah, okay....I'll go see what I can find."

The store clerk hurried off to gather up what he had in stock, leaving Dean alone to ponder how he was going to tell Sam about his little find and what they were going to do about it.

Dean Winchester

Date: 2011-06-06 18:43 EST
Dean tracked Sam down at some random run-down bar on the WestEnd of Rhydin and parked the Mustang outside, sauntering on into the bar, looking more than a little annoyed.

Sam was at the bar, looking at a brunette, instead of the book that was on the bar by his beer.

Dean spied his brother and slid onto a stool beside him, tossing a brown paper bag onto the book in front of him. "Take a look at that."

"Scored weed?" Sam eyed the sack suspiciously, then looked at the brunette, "Dean, this is Carmen. Carmen, my brother, Dean." Making intros as he looked at the sack, and finally opened it to peer inside.

Dean flashed the patented Dean grin at Carmen, giving her the once over and reaching across his brother to offer a hand, as if he wasn't there. "Hello, Carmen. Dean."

Carmen offered a winning smile, "Are you a talent scout, too?" Yes, Sam had ripped off his brother's pick-up style. She shook his hand gently.

"Dude, personal space?" Sam pushed at his brother with a shoulder.

Dean ignored his brother's shove and continued to smile charmingly at the brunette. "That depends. What's your talent?"

She just smiled and then giggled. "I have many talents." Emphasizing on many.

Dean grabbed a napkin and a pen and slid them over, past his brother. "Why don't you write down your number and I'll call you for an audition?"

"I already got her number," Sam showed him the bar napkin. He opened the sack further, "What is this" Porn?" He paused and looked at a DVD entitled "Supernatural", which bore the likenesses of himself and his brother on the cover. "Dude, what the hell?" Sam forgot the brunette and his brother's butting in. "Where did you get this?"

Dean lifted a finger at the brunette and smiled. "Could you give us a moment' We've got business to discuss." He watched the brunette depart, admiring her assets and then turned to his brother. "A video store." Where he'd been browsing for porn, but he didn't tell Sam that.

"Dude, I thought it was just books." They'd already stumbled across some paperback pulp novels back home that had been written documenting their adventures by a so-called prophet named Chuck Shurley.

"Dude, we've been syndicated," Dean grumbled. "Looks like Chuck is moonlighting as Kripke's muse." He was referring to the alternate world he and Sam had been tossed into not long ago where their entire lives were being seen on the CW every Friday night for the apparent enjoyment of hormonal teenage girls.

Sam shook his head. "Is it still telling what we are doing, or what we did?"

"It's all there. From Mom's death to averting the Apocalypse."

"You are kidding me."

"You wanna grab a six-pack and a pizza and watch it?"

Sam flipped the cases over, reading them. "Seriously' Zeppelin songs as titles?"

"Our entire lives crammed into five seasons of bad television," Dean complained.

"Who plays me?" asked Sam. "Same guy' Padelwackay?"

"Padalecki, I think."

"Wow, and you still have Jensen, I see."

"Who names their kid Jensen" Sounds like a girl." Dean grabbed one of the DVDs from the bag and looked at the cover, studying the faces of the two actors who portrayed them. "I'm better looking."

"Aren't they going to get bored of our lives?" Sam sighed and stood up. "I'll be in touch, Carmen." Then he turned to Dean. "Bull. Six Pack, pizza and?" Sam paused, "Is this research?"

Dean nodded a farewell to Carmen and started toward the door. "No, this is damage control. Do you have any idea what will happen if people find this crap and start watching it?"

"Dude, it is mass produced. Look at it!" Pointing out the professional-looking packaging.

"So' How many video stores can there be in Rhydin?"

"I don't know. I haven't been here as long as you have." Sam was in a bit of a panic. "I mean this looks like a crap version of us."

"Sam, everything is there. I mean everything. You remember when you lost your shoe" It's there."

"Dude, that wasn't funny. Why is that there?"

Dean Winchester

Date: 2011-06-06 19:49 EST
"Hell is there," Dean remarked, grimly. Hell was the last thing he wanted to relive on video.

"Hell?" Sam frowned at his brother. "I'm going to kill Chuck."

Dean pulled open the door and stepped outside, turning to face his brother. "Did you really see us as kids" Is that what got you to take control of Lucifer?"

"Your car, Dean." Sam sighed. "Our car....Dad's" Whatever. It was where we grew up and played together."

"My car," Dean corrected, frowning at his brother. "You should have come to me sooner, not left me with Lisa. I could have helped."

"I didn't want to, Dean. I wanted you to have the life you dreamed of."

"It wasn't going to work, Sam. Maybe that will be part of Season Six," Dean added, sarcastically.

"Dean, I don't know." Sam sighed. "I wish I could give you the answer you want, but I just wanted you to be happy."

"I would have been happier knowing my brother was alive." Dean sighed. They'd been over all this already, more than once. He reached for the bag of videos. "You wanna watch this crap or burn it?"

"I thought you wanted to watch it?"

"I watched enough. Do you wanna watch it?"

Sam shook his head. "How'd he know, Dean' How is it possible he knew us that well?" He wanted to watch it, but was scared to. "Burn it, Dean," Sam said quietly. There were things he hoped Dean hadn't seen. Things he wasn't proud of, but had done, just the same.

Dean shrugged and handed Sam the bag, pulling the keys from his coat pocket and starting toward the car. "The Gospel of Sam and Dean Winchester," he muttered.

"What?" Sam shook his head, "Gospel of you and I?" He followed along, then stared at the Mustang. "Where'd you get this?"

"It's mine. Or was mine. I won it in a poker game when I was here the first time. Quinn doesn't drive, so I'm borrowing it." It was a lie. Dean had actually bought the car outright from the gold Tara had given him for protecting her against one of Santa's not-elves, but Dean didn't feel like explaining. It was too weird.

"Well, it's a nice win." Sam pulled the passenger side open.

"Yeah." Dean smiled. "She's a sweet ride." He pulled open the driver's side door and climbed inside. "Not as sweet as my baby, but she'll do for now."

Sam nodded, "Not bad for a Ford."

Dean put the key in the ignition and turned over the engine. "Pizza and beer" I wanna watch the episode where I kill Yellow Eyes."

Sam slid in, looking around, then nodded an agreement. "I'll watch that."

"And the one where you lose your shoe." Dean smirked.

"Dude, that sucked." Sam shook his head. "But at least it was my shoe and not, what was it' seven thousand in lotto scratchers?"

Dean scowled at the memory. Easy come, easy go. "Shut up."

"I have to admit, she was hot."

Dean glared at his brother. Bela was one memory he could live without. "Maybe you'd like to watch the episode where you make out with Ruby," Dean said. "Man, I can't believe you did it with that skank."

"Ruby was hot for a demon." Sam sighed, thinking of the nights running with Ruby, ganking demons. "What about some of them you were with?"

Dean narrowed his eyes at his brother, clearly disgusted by his taste in women, ignoring his question. "What is with you anyway' First Meg, then Ruby. I admit the werewolf chick was cute, but she was still a werewolf."

Sam shrugged, "Both of them were smoking hot. I didn't know they were demons. Damn."

"You knew Ruby was a demon. You should have been working on getting me outta hell, not doing the horizontal mambo with Ruby." But they'd been over that before, too, so Dean shut his mouth and pulled the Mustang out onto the road.