Topic: Sunlight On Sadness (AU)

Jo Winchester

Date: 2012-07-12 15:32 EST
They didn't call them greasy spoons for nothing, but Dean had always been addicted to places like this - little roadside diners that had their own particular charm, or so he thought, the clientele usually made up of truckers, hitch hikers, drifters, and once in a while, a hunter or two. Lunchtime was usually a pretty busy, messy business, the cheeseburgers and fries selling like hotcakes. Dean and Nim had claimed a corner booth with a clear view of the kitchen, the bathrooms, and the exits, not really expecting trouble, but more out of habit than of paranoia. Dean had his typical bacon double cheeseburger and chili cheese fries - a heart attack waiting to happen, as Sam would call it. But Dean was loving it, savoring it like a man would his last meal, washing it all down with a Coke.

"So..." He started as he took another swallow of cheeseburger, followed by a swig of Coke. "Tell me something about yourself that I don't know yet."

"What?" Nim burst out laughing, genuinely amused by the unexpected conversational gambit. For once, she wasn't eating the same meal as Dean, taking pity on her arteries and indulging her occasional craving for something halfway healthy at the same time with a grilled chicken salad. "How should I know what you don't know about me" Aside from the guitar thing, which was obviously a surprise." Her eyes sparkled as she let her brows lift and fall, teasing him with just a look while loading her mouth to avoid actually answering.

"Okay..." He smirked back at her as he took up a handful of fries and dipped them in a dollop of ketchup. "I'll go easy on you. What's your favorite color?" He already knew a few things about Jo, but she was Nimue now, and he was curious what might have changed. Besides, though he knew a few things about Jo, they'd never really had much time to exchange small talk past their initial meeting. The fact was that Dean had never had time to really get to know many who weren't family, and even if he had, he'd have avoided letting anyone get too close.

"Oh gee, thanks," was her drawling response to his smirking promise to be gentle. Swallowing her mouthful, she took a sip of her own Coke before answering this simple question, for some reason needing a moment to line up the reply in her head. "Favorite color" ....that'd be purple. But not just any purple, that real deep eggplant purple color." She paused, frowning a little with a teasing glimmer in her eyes. "Wait ....you have seen an eggplant raw, right?" Given his aversion to anything halfway healthy, it was a fair question.

"Um..." He shoveled those fries, which were dripping with chili and cheese, as well as ketchup, into his mouth, having to lick chili sauce from his lips, unknowingly leaving just a smidgen of ketchup on his chin. "Ugly purple thing that looks sort of like squash' Yeah, I've seen one." He wrinkled up his freckled nose at the thought of eating anything that looked like that though, especially having been forced to eat healthy for a few months before arriving here, due to a tainted meat supply. He almost shuddered at the memory of it.

Her smile grew in amusement as he offered up a fairly accurate description, the quiet giggles drowned in another mouthful from her plate before she nodded, swallowing again before speaking. "Well, that's the color I'm talking about," she chuckled, likcing her lips clean as she cast around for something to ask him. "Where's your favorite place?"

"Wait....You don't want to know my favorite color?" he asked, looking surprised. He'd been prepared with an answer, as lame as it was, but was unprepared for this question, though the answer was pretty simple. He took another bite of his burger, wiping at the errant ketchup on his chin with a finger, followed by a lick.

"Well, yeah, but later," she chuckled, knowing he wouldn't ask her a question like that without having an answer all lined up and ready to go. Distracted by the flick of his tongue against his finger, she blinked, shaking her head abruptly with a low snort of laughter. "I'll ask you when you're not expecting it. So ....favorite place?"

He smirked again, a mischievous gleam in his eyes. "Like when we're in the middle of a heated moment?" he asked, not exactly avoiding the question, but having fun teasing her. He leaned back as he took another slurp of his Coke. "Okay, favorite place. I mean, seriously....Do you really have to ask me that?"

Brown eyes twinkling, Nim offered him an innocent grin. "A heated moment, an argument ....when you forget who you're with and start flirting with a waitress ..." Now who was teasing who' Wiping a slip of teriyaki from the corner of her mouth, she met his slightly disbelieving look with a patient smile. "Uh, yeah. I wanna hear you say it out loud." Holding his gaze, she licked the sauce off her finger with a slow flick of her tongue.

He chuckled, waggling a chili-cheese-laden french fry at her. "A heated moment. That's good. But bzzzzz, sorry, wrong answer. Try again." Since when had this become a guessing game" Since right about now. He grinned as he watched her lick the sauce from her finger. "You're doing that on purpose. You're trying to distract me."

"Would I do that?" Butter would not melt in the mouth of the sweet young woman she managed to pretend to be for all of five seconds in the face of his grinning response. "Answer the question, Deano." This time the tease was open and deliberate as she dipped her finger into the sauce and lifted the digit to her mouth to clean it off, dark eyes offering up a friendly challenge in the process.

"Oh, now I'm Deano. And here I thought someone changed my name to Princess." He was still smirking, amused at the teasing that was going on between them, which seemed almost a relief after the emotional turmoil of the cemetery. "Honestly, I'm kind of disappointed that you don't know this one. I'll give you a hint. She has an engine and her name is Baby." Yes, pathetically, his favorite place was his car - specfically, behind the steering wheel of his car. But being in bed with Nim came in as a close second! What was she expecting him to say' Milwaukee"

Like that was a surprise. But it was always funny to make Dean admit to his all-consuming passion for his car. Nim laughed comfortably, leaning back in her seat as she pushed her plate aside, full with half the contents gone. "Who said I didn't know it?" she countered cheerfully. "I just like making you say it. So let's try something else ....what can't you do that you wanna be able to do?"

He clucked his tongue at her as she skipped over him and went straight to asking another question. "Not so fast, Speedy. It's my turn to ask a question." It also gave him a little extra time to come up with an answer to her question, which sounded like a hard one. "Hm..." He puckered his lips, staring off into space, as he considered. "I know! What's your favorite color?" He chuckled at his own joke. "Okay, seriously....If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?"

Jo Winchester

Date: 2012-07-12 15:37 EST
Leaning forward onto her elbows, Nim folded her hands underneath her chin, eyes rolling at his joke as she smiled, watching him cast around for something new to ask her. The question, when it came, brought an expression similar to his own to her face, her eyes turning slightly distant as she considered her answer. "If you laugh, you're gonna end up wearing that Coke," she warned as the answer came to her, chuckling softly at the little insight she was about to give him into her dreams. "If I could go anywhere in the world, it'd be the Arctic." No reason given, of course; if he wanted to know why, he'd have to ask. "Your turn."

"The Arctic!" he exclaimed, just a little too loudly, looking predictably surprised by her answer, stifling a shudder at the thought of it. At least, it wasn't too hot there, just the opposite, in fact. Like the frigid version of Hell. And he couldn't help but asking, "Why the hell do you want to go there?"

Nim shook her head, laughing at his surprised response to her answer. She should have expected that, although the shudder wasn't something predictable. Snickering, she spread her hands, her expression forming the sort of look that suggested the answer to the question why was obvious. "Dude. Polar bears."

"Dude," he countered, though she was nothing of the sort. "You don't have to go to the Arctic for that. You can see polar bears at the zoo." He shook his head, chuckling a little to himself, not really understanding what the attraction was to polar bears. Okay, so maybe they were different after all. He took another bite of his cheeseburger, not exactly forgetting her question to him, but holding off a moment to consider his reply.

Her expression softened, the teasing look in her eyes gentling. "And, you know ..." unaware that he was considering his own answer, she groped for a way to make the appeal of the Arctic circle make sense. "It's ....it's clean." She shrugged lightly, not knowing what else she could say to explain it, hoping he'd understand every connotation of the one word she could think of to describe that ideal place.

"It's cold," he replied. Clean, he wasn't so sure. It depended on what she meant by the word, and he wasn't sure he wanted to know. "Okay, well, if we ever take a vacation, I'll keep the Arctic in mind." He doubted they'd ever have time to take a real vacation, but it sounded good. As for himself, there were a few ways to answer her question, and more than a few things he'd like to do that he couldn't. How should he answer" Should he give her a serious but honest reply and risk ruining the mood, or should he keep it light-hearted and fun"

She chuckled softly, shaking her head. "It's not like I'm fixing to go live there," she assured him. "Don't get me wrong, I like snow, but I'd be bored within a week. There's only so many times I'd be able to stuff a snowball down your pants before you got wise to it."

He snorted, doubtful she could accomplish such a task. "I'd like to see you try." He finished off the burger, licking the last of the burger from his lips before washing it down with a sip of Coke. "What can't I do that I'd like to do. That's a tough question." And apparently, he was still thinking it over. A thought occurred to him and he smiled at his own cleverness. "I'd like to play guitar."

"Next time it snows, you're goin' down, princess," Nim promised him with a smile from behind her glass. His answer to her question made her laugh even as she rolled her eyes, shaking her head in resignation. "I'm not even going to try and ignore that, you know I'd teach you if you asked me."

He laughed at her response, snap-pointing a finger at her in acceptance of her challenge. "You're on." Anyway, unless they found themselves whisked away to another hemisphere, it would be months before it snowed. His smile softened; she reacted just as he thought she would to his answer. "Then you can assume I'm asking."

The look in her eyes turned tender for a moment, echoing the softer smile he sent her way. "Then we need to get you a guitar." She held the gentle moment a while longer, ending it with a long sip from her glass. "Next question ..." The look in her eyes turned wickedly cheeky as she lowered her voice for his ears only. "Strangest place you've had sex in."

One brow arched at her next question, which was once again going to require a bit of thought. "You're jumping the gun again. It's my turn to ask you," he scolded for the second time, smiling. "You're having way too much fun with this." He leaned back again, steepling his fingers beneath his chin as he tried to think of a question that was just as juicy and as challenging as hers. "Who would you go gay for, if you could?"

"What?" This time it was Nim who responded a little too loudly, dissolving into giggles in the face of his question. She lowered her forehead into her hand, closing her eyes for a moment. "I can't believe you just asked me that," she snorted with laughter. "You're just poking around for fantasy material now, aren't you?"

He smirked, but did not reply to her question. The answer was obvious. "Oh, come on. Every woman is a little bi-curious. It's just a question. It's not like it's going to really happen. So, answer the question. Who would you go gay for?" He took a hard look at her, considering. "Blonde, brunette, redhead" I'm guessing you're the Scarlet Johansson type."

That guess earned him the raising of a brow, her smile slightly incredulous once again. "Man, you are so wrong," she assured him, shaking her head. "Have you actually looked at her face when she's supposed to be acting" It doesn't move!" Grinning, Nim held his considering gaze for a long moment, tucking the fall of her hair back behind one ear. "You know what, you're not gonna guess it. I should put you out of your misery." There was another pause as she let out yet another soft snicker, not quite able to believe she was going to answer this question at all. "I think I'd turn for, uh ....that chick from Desperado. You know, Salma something."

His brows lifted and his mouth formed an "Oh" before the word actually came out of his mouth in an extended version of the little word. "Ohhhhhhh..." He paused as he compared the two actresses in his head, getting that silly look on his face again that was somewhere between thoughtful and amused. "Salma's hot. I'll accept that answer." And he had a new fantasy to think about, not that he would need one anytime soon. "Strangest place I've had sex in," he repeated her question. "Promise you won't laugh?"

She snorted, rolling her eyes at his reaction to her slightly embarrassed confession. "I don't think I wanna know what me and her'll be getting up to in your head from now on," she muttered, her voice throbbing with laughter. "All right ..." She made an effort to smooth her expression, wiping every vestige of amusement from her eyes. With a deep breath, she met his eyes. "Promise. I'll try not to laugh."

Jo Winchester

Date: 2012-07-12 15:41 EST
He smirked. "I can fill you in if you like." He would actually be more than happy to do so and embarrass her in the process, but not right now. He watched as she attempted to turn serious. There were, once again, several ways he could answer her question.

He'd had sex several times in the Impala, but he didn't really find that very strange. Then there was the time he and some girl whose name he couldn't remember had made out in the high school janitorial closet, but they hadn't gone all the way. And that time in some diner, when the waitress had cornered him in the men's room. Hotels, motels, strip joints, none of those counted. And certainly not the whore house he'd taken Cas to, hoping he'd lose his virginity before the big Apocalypse.

"A hospital linen closet," he answered finally.

To her credit, she didn't actually laugh. Okay, so her face creased abruptly into the deep lopsided smile he was very used to seeing there by now, and she did lift a hand to cover her mouth just in case a snicker managed to escape, but Nim managed to keep a lid on her mirth and keep her promise, though just barely. It took a moment to relax her throat, until she trusted herself to speak without giggling. "Doctor or nurse?" she asked cheerfully. "And do I really wanna know why and how?"

He raised both his hands as if to claim innocence, though he was as far from innocent as they come. "I went in for stitches and got more than I bargained for." The smirk on his face told her that he wasn't really offended if she laughed. He really wasn't sure where the strangest place was, but that had been pretty strange. He cleared his throat, ready to change the subject, that smirk still in place, but for a different reason. "I have one for you. Favorite dessert."

And for once, she had an answer right on the tip of her tongue for him. "Ice cream. Any kind, any flavor; I would probably do indecent things in exchange for ice cream." Dark eyes twinkled as she offered him a sweet smile, taking a sip of her Coke before coming back at him with a question of her own. "Legs, boobs, or as$?"

His eyes widened just a little at her admission, and then he broke into a smile. "You already do indecent things." He waved a hand to get the waitress' attention so he could order her an ice cream, along with a little something for himself. Pie, of course. What else? He picked up his Coke to take a sip, almost choking on her next question.

"Oh, I think I'd really get wild if there was ice cream on the cards." Nim's smile, already pretty wide, opened into a loud laugh as Dean took full advantage of her most recent confession to order dessert for them both. "Cherry pie?" she asked cheekily, enjoying the fact that she had managed to almost shock him with her own query, leaning forward onto her elbows again to entice his answer out with an inviting grin.

"Please," he replied with a grin. "How'd you know that?" He didn't remember telling her cherry pie was his favorite, but maybe he had, or maybe some part of her remembered from before, or maybe it was just that obvious. He set his Coke down and folded his arms on the table with a small lean forward, once the waitress had departed. Glancing idly over to watch her sashay away, he grinned. "I think you have your answer."

He had told her in those first days after his arrival in Chicago, but if he didn't recall it, she wasn't going to take away the mystery of her remembering that detail. Following his gaze, Nim rolled her eyes, reaching over to flick the back of his hand lightly with a fingertip. "No, you are an ass," she corrected laughingly. "There's a difference."

He grinned back at her good-naturedly. "I've been called worse." Hey, he was only looking. His heart might be spoken for, but his eyes had a mind of their own. "I have one for you," he said, getting that impish gleam in his eyes again. "This one is really important. Could be a deal breaker."

"A deal breaker, huh?" That gleam in his eyes was always just a little bit thrilling; she never knew which way he was going to go, playful or dangerous, and that in itself was just one of the many sides of Dean that had her completely in thrall. Drumming her nails against the table between them for a moment, she schooled her expression into something approaching solemnity, but for the dancing light in her eyes. "I'll have to give it the full weight of my intellect and emotional instability then, won't I?"

"Oh, definitely. The future of our relationship could depend on this one question," he replied, feigning seriousness. "You ready?" he asked, pausing a moment for dramatic effect. "Favorite band. And if you say Air Supply, you're gonna have to find a new boyfriend." He chewed on the inside of his mouth to repress a smirk, though it was obvious from the gleam in his eyes that he was teasing.

She bit into the inside of her own cheek to avoid laughing again, attempting to give this one, at least, the appearance of actually taking him seriously. Her eyes let her down badly, the shining gleam in the dark depths echoing the smirking in his gaze as she tapped her fingers against her mouth. "Favorite band ....that's a tough one," she mused playfully, her gaze wandering to the view through the window beside them. "Am I allowed to say I don't have a favorite, or are you gonna ride me on this one?"

Their desserts arrived and he smiled his thanks up at the waitress before snagging a fork and digging in, his gaze darting to hers for a moment as he tried to remain serious. "You better not say ABBA either."

The arrival of their desserts was a relief, in a way; she was having real trouble keeping her face straight. After all, this was a very serious, life-changing question. He might never forgive her if she came up with something he didn't approve of. Skimming her spoon over the top of her ice cream, she pondered a moment longer before offering up her reply. "If forced to pick just one ....and I can't believe you haven't worked this one out yourself ....it'd be AC/DC." Her eyes lifted to his as she raised a spoonful of frozen goodness to her lips, taking her time in licking it clean just to torture him a little more.

Distracted from her answer by the lick of her tongue against the spoon, his mind drifted a moment, thinking about her using that tongue elsewhere, belatedly blinking out of his thoughts, not having heard a thing she said. "I'm sorry. What?" he asked, his fork half buried in the slice of cherry pie, but not having taken a bite yet.

Mission accomplished. Nim lowered the spoon to reveal her ever-so-slightly smug grin, the tongue that had so distracted him slipping free of her mouth to lick her lips clean. She couldn't resist murmuring a line or two of a song he should remember pretty well; after all, the last time he'd heard it, she'd turned on the sultry as though she'd been born to it. "Let me put my love into you, babe ..."

Jo Winchester

Date: 2012-07-12 15:46 EST
A grin broke across his face, not quite blushing, though he felt slightly embarrassed, now that she reminded him of the song. "I think that works in the reverse," he remarked, waggling his brows at her as he took up that forkful of pie and stuffed it into his mouth, moaning in delight at the taste of it. Mmm, pie.

Touch". Whatever she'd been about to say was completely drowned by the deep distraction of hearing him moan, even if it was only over pie. Her cheeks flushed, the blush spreading over her skin even as she ducked her head to watch herself load another mouthful onto her spoon. "Uh ..." C'mon, brain, back into action. Clearing her throat, she swallowed that spoonful, buying herself a little time to get her thoughts back in order. "Your turn again. Favourite ....fairytale character. And why." She flashed him a wink over the bowl of her spoon, pretty sure this one had the potential to stump him.

His jaw dropped open, a blank look on his face, completely dumbfounded by the question for about the span of thirty seconds. "Fairytale or fairytale character." There was a definite difference. He'd watched the porn version of a few fairy tales late at night on Pay Per View. He and Sam had even once debated which Disney Princess they thought was the hottest.

"Well, you brought up both so ....both." Her smile widened to a grin as she loaded up yet another mouthful, her gaze daring him to back out of answering the slightly amended question even as she started licking again. She did love her ice cream, but eating it like this was all about teasing Dean. And the fact that he knew it made it even more fun.

His gaze slid to that spoonful of ice cream again and he shifted in his chair, somewhat uncomfortably for a moment, clearing his throat again as he tried to ignore the fact that she was trying to seduce him with a bowl of ice cream. "I....uh..." He broke off, his train of thought derailed again. "That's cheating, you know. If you want an answer, you shouldn't try to distract from the question."

The spoon lowered from her lips again as he admitted to being distracted all over again, her chuckle low and teasing beneath the level of ambient noise in the diner. "I'll make you a deal," she offered innocently. "You stop moaning, and I'll stop licking. For now, anyway." That was as close as he was going to get to hearing her admit to how effective his distraction had been.

"Moaning?" he repeated, a little too loudly, furrowing his brows at her. "When did I moan?" He didn't recall moaning, not recently anyway, either completely oblivious of the effect cherry pie had on him or buying himself a little time to answer her question.

It wasn't Nim who answered him straightaway. One of the older waitresses just happened to be passing by as Dean spoke, and butted in with admirable restraint. "Oh, sweetie, you need tellin' when to moan when you got a girl that into you right there?" She laughed knowingly, looking over at Nim. "Sounds like you need to be educatin' your man a bit better, girl."

Snickering, Nim held Dean's gaze a moment longer before looking up at the waitress. "I might just have to, you're right," she agreed cheerfully, watching as the woman walked away, turning her eyes back to Dean. "Well?"

Dean scowled at the interaction between the two women, feeling he needed no reminders or lessons about when to moan or, perhaps more importantly, how to make a woman moan. He cut into his pie, taking up another bite on his fork. "Well, what? I don't need an education in moaning," he answered, sounding a little defensive, misunderstanding the question. What was the question again? Oh, yeah. Fairytales. Why the hell did she want to know that anyway' "Sleeping Beauty," he replied, without further thought, breaking out in a smile again. "I've got a weakness for blondes." As proved by present company.

"Really?" She never would have guessed that he'd be partial to her favorite fairytale. It seemed somehow too girly for Dean to be able to say that he liked that one in particular, but then ...the prince was the real deal, wasn't he" Nim's smile tightened a little as she realised that Dean's princess wasn't quite as helpless as Prince Phillip's was. "Sleeping Beauty, huh' I wouldn't have guessed that." Another facet of the question presented itself. "In pink or blue?"

He smirked at her question, shoving yet another forkful of pie into his mouth, before answering. "Oh, no, you don't. That's two questions, and it's my turn." He lowered his fork as he looked over at her, a little more thoughtfully this time, choosing to ask a more serious question, one that was more important than any of the others he'd asked thus far. "If you didn't have to be a hunter, what would you be?" he asked, a completely serious look on his face.

This question surprised her, her reaction instinctively to take it completely seriously with no hint of laughter in her face or voice. "Wow, that's ....that's a difficult one to answer," she said softly, her ice cream forgotten for a moment as she found herself deeply considering just what her answer would be. It was a little disturbing to her that nothing immediately presented itself as an alternative. "I, uh ....I guess I'd be a barmaid," she shrugged finally. "I don't really know how to do much else." Her eyes found his, quietly turning his question back on himself. "What about you?"

He watched her while she struggled with the question, wondering if her answer was partly taken from some memory of her life as Jo, or if it was all Nimue. He'd thought she might answer differently, but found the answer suited her. After all, she'd never had a chance at normal, not even as a child, but he had. He lowered his gaze to his pie as she turned the question back on him, shrugging his shoulders. "I don't know. I worked as a carpenter for a while. It was okay. The money was good, but if I had to choose, I'd probably rebuild old cars." And raise a family, he thought, without adding that.

"There enough money in that to support a family?" she asked softly, unaware that she was following the line of his thoughts quite so closely. Normal to Nim was a home and a family; a safe place to raise children, perhaps. She wasn't the most maternal of women, to be sure, but then ....she'd never really had the opportunity to get in touch with her maternal side. The few hours they'd spent looking after the newborn Jonah in Wichita had shocked her into accepting that she did kinda like babies in their way, but whether that extended to having her own was a subject she'd not really considered before. Now the question was there in mind, however ...

He lifted his head, shifting his gaze from the pie to her, arching a brow at her question, not only because it was unexpected, but also because he wasn't sure of the answer. The game was forgotten for a moment in light of her question, which he considered seriously for a moment. "I don't really know. I just know I like working on cars, and I'm good at it. I rebuilt my baby a few times already. It just comes natural, I guess." As natural as shooting a gun, it seemed. There were other jobs that he might seem better suited for, but he loved cars almost as much as he loved women, and he felt at home beneath the hood of a car.

Jo Winchester

Date: 2012-07-12 15:53 EST
She caught his gaze, biting her lip lightly as memories of conversations with her friends in Chicago reasserted themselves in her mind. One thing Daisy and Kara had always agreed on was that if you wanted to end a relationship, you should start using three words regularly - future, commitment, and babies. And as natural as Dean had been with their borrowed newborn, Nim had no idea if he harbored any kind of interest in having one of his own, swallowing a fresh mouthful before she attempted to take any kind of pressure off the conversation.

"I'm not saying I want to have babies, Dean, that's just ..." She trailed off, groping for a gentler explanation. "If I wasn't a hunter, that's what I'd want. You don't need to pass a test or prove you know everything before you try to raise a kid. But at the same time, I don't know if I would say no completely to ..." Nim shook her head. "I just made this conversation really heavy. Back to the funny stuff."

The expression on Dean's face betrayed his confusion at this turn in conversation. As much as he wanted a family and always had, he knew it wasn't on the cards. He wasn't going to raise a family the way he'd been raised - constantly being dragged from town to town without any place to call home, always in danger from things normal people knew nothing about. Saving people, hunting things....They were his own words. It was a thankless job, but someone had to do it. "Right, the funny stuff," he agreed, poking at his pie, his mood turning. Why'd you have to go and ask her that anyway"

Nim winced, realising she'd blundered badly in just blurting out where her thoughts had taken her, dropping her gaze back to her dish as her spoon chased the last of the frozen dessert around the base. "Foot meet mouth," she muttered quietly. "This is where you will be living for the rest of the day."

He thought he heard part of what she'd muttered and he frowned in remorse, feeling as much at fault as she did, perhaps more. The game had been fun, while it had lasted. He blamed himself for ruining it. "My fault. I shouldn't have asked. The thing is..." He broke off again, worried what she'd think if she knew how he really felt.

"No, it's my fault," she interrupted, reaching across the table to curl her fingers into his palm, setting her bowl aside. She didn't want to make things worse, but he deserved to know how she felt about this issue. "But I don't want you not to know how I feel about this. I really haven't thought about it much, but ....Look, I know our lifestyle isn't an ideal way to bring up a kid, but other hunters manage it. Maybe it isn't something I want right now, but there's ..." She hesitated, finally deciding just to go for it and hope he didn't turn too sullen. "I'm gonna want a family, Dean. With you, no matter where we end up."

He followed her hand with his eyes as she curled her fingers into his palm, linking his fingers with hers as he lifted his gaze to her, lips parting slightly as she opened up and confessed her wishes and dreams for the future. "With me?" he asked, eyebrows lifting in curiosity, feeling that old familiar ache of longing weighing heavily against his chest. "You want to have a family with me?" he repeated, incredulously.

Other hunters manage it, her words echoed in his head. His grandparents had managed it, but that hadn't turned out well. Her parents had managed it, and that hadn't ended well either. But oh, how he ached for it.

Nim bit harder into her lower lip as she watched him warily, uncertain quite which way his mood was going to turn now. She couldn't take the words back, and she didn't want to, but if it wasn't something he was happy with, the rest of the day was going to be incredibly awkward. "You really need to ask me that?" she countered quietly. "I'm not saying right away, and I know it's tough. But ....we have safe places, Dean. There's the Landing, for a start. We wouldn't have to be always on the road, and we wouldn't have to always be static, either."

"Yes, but....I thought..." He had that look on his face that said he was trying to sort something out. He'd thought she was trying to tell him that she didn't want kids, only to find out that she did and with him, of all people. "Having kids....I mean....That means..." That means, he'd have to stay here. It would also mean they'd probably get married at some point. Him, married" "Would you....I mean..."

She watched him groping for something coherent, mildly wondering if it was possible to break Dean Winchester with this topic of conversation. Her eyes stayed wary, still uncertain, still waiting to know what he thought of her little confession. "Would I ..." Dean, I can't read minds, you're gonna have to tell me what?s on your mind here."

He blinked out of his thoughts, not realizing at first how tongue-tied he'd become, unable to properly put into words what he was thinking. His mouth moved silently, stammering a moment, before he actually spoke. "Having kids is....it's a long-term commitment." Long term was putting it mildly. It was a life-long commitment. At least twenty years, if not more. "I mean....Don't you think you'll get sick of me after a while?" he asked, almost afraid to think they might have a real future together. He knew he wasn't the easiest person to live with, and he couldn't for the life of him understand what it was she saw in him.

It took a moment for the pertinent point here to sink in, that sense of consideration softening her wary expression as she realised what it was he hadn't actually said yet. He wants this. Relieved that she hadn't permanently inserted her foot into her mouth with her unthinking confession, Nim's uncertainty gentled into a soft smile as her fingers squeezed his. "I don't think so," she said, a little shy of his as yet unspoken concerns. "I love you, remember?"

He'd heard her say it several times before in the short time since he'd arrived here, but it seemed that he was only really hearing it for the very first time - the deeper meaning behind those words, the hopes and dreams for the future. Did she really want everything he wanted" Did she really think it was possible" Was it possible or would it just end in disaster, like it always had before"

Some things are worth fighting for, a voice he didn't recognize said in his head. Where had he heard that before" From Sam, maybe. It sounded like something Sam would say. Nim had struck him speechless again, and it took a moment before he could find his voice, the tremor there betraying the barely-repressed emotions. It had been an emotional day.

"I..." He searched her eyes as if needing to be sure she meant what she said. "I love you," he told her, the words clumsy and hard to say, but he'd said them.

All he found in his search of her eyes was the depth of her sincerity. It might well be considered far too soon by most people for them to even be considering talking about this sort of commitment, but the bond they shared was deeper than the one most people got to enjoy over the course of a lifetime. Dean remembered all the might have been moments, the background and detail of a lifetime that she might never know again. Nim was the one who had embraced the unmistakeable swell of emotion she felt for him the moment he dropped back into her life, refusing to believe even for a moment that it wasn't completely true.

And though he'd said those words to her once before, Nim felt her eyes tear up as he offered them back to her again, knowing how hard he found it to say them aloud. "I know," she managed softly, her lips curving in a tender smile.

All joking aside, everything they had shared was incidental. It didn't really matter what her favorite color was or what music she liked to listen to. Those things weren't important. She could have been a Barry Manilow fan, and it wouldn't have changed a damned thing. The truth was he loved her, had always loved her, would always love her. In this world or any other, they'd found something in one another that could be called ....home.

((Can you imagine these two with children? :grin: Massive thanks to Dean's player, as ever!))