Topic: BOUND BY LEATHER: Embossed with Flame

Elessaria

Date: 2007-10-07 20:00 EST
BOUND BY LEATHER: Embossed With Flame

The Journal of Elessaria Devabriel, The Lady Fire of Evandar

RhyDin Red Dragon Inn The 5th of October (2007); Sometime After Midnight

I am definitely regaining my strength after all this time. My gifts have returned much stronger than before my empathic breakdown as I have tried to explained it. Still, I am not confident in my ability to wield them. Luckily I did not hurt Jake when I let him feel what empathy is like. I have no idea how to explain it otherwise " especially to someone who doesn't possess any magical gifts. I was so afraid of injuring him that I only just let him brush along the surface, plus I did not wish to delve any deeper than he would desire. That is my cardinal rule.

I am not sure what I would do if he came to harm. I felt so helpless the night he truly allowed himself to believe RhyDin is real and that the zombies were real.... and that I am an elf. That was not only an exhausting few days; it certainly was uncomfortable as well. So many I care for were in danger! He is so patient, sweet and honest. One of RhyDin's few true gentlemen as I like to say. I thought that Jake and Erin were sweet on each other. I just assumed they were; so, to avoid any troubled friendships I stepped away and ended up making things more awkward. Erin and I discussed this and everything is fine now. I worry about her....we may not be close, but still even when I felt blind without my empathy, it was obvious she is going through a difficult time. She asked me if I were sweet on Jake. Fair is fair! I was not quite able to describe my feelings accurately. I still cannot. I am very attracted to him on many levels" from his good looks to his genuine heart. I guess I am afraid. Afraid of many things these days. Everyone I care for always seems to vanish or die. He is human and I am afraid that the servants of the Dark may harm him in their pursuit of me. I am selfish too. I do not want to have my heartbroken again as well. He called me the prettiest girl in RhyDin when I introduced him to the lovely Cieara. Wow! I am blushing all over again just writing it! He'll end up learning just how keen elven hearing is! He's not rushing things; I am not either. It is nice to just let life happen naturally.

~E

Elessaria

Date: 2007-10-07 20:41 EST
BOUND BY LEATHER: Embossed With Flame The Journal of Elessaria Devabrial, The Lady Fire of Evandar

RhyDin Red Dragon Inn The 7th of October (2007); The Wee Hours of the Morning



It felt good to see Cieara and Daniel the other night. At least I no longer feel quite as paranoid about the premonition I had. I still do not know if it had been a true bit of foresight or if it had been some trick of the Dark. Cie has also felt something amiss amongst the shadows. Only time will tell. I really did not want to cause Cie any discomfort; but, I really do not know why Lord Veighn has been so hostile to me. We have always maintained civility before. Of course, she really doesn't know" who really knows what truly goes on in that man's mind"

I met a young woman earlier in the night. It was pretty quiet in the Inn and the poor thing appeared so lonely. Even with my shields up, it was easy to tell she was reliving some sort of trauma. I'm glad I was feeling better enough to help her out of it. Her whimpers just broke my heart. A cup of one of my special tea blends hopefully gave her a dreamless sleep. Her name is Kacey and she seems familiar to me. I may have seen her one night while I was tending. It may have been during the zombie invasion; there was so much confusion then. In fact, I only just now recall I ran into an old friend during that mess? Raven! I hope he visits again soon. I did tell him that I'm staying here at the Dragon and that I usually work Sundays.

I do feel lonely sometimes. Almost everyone here has family of some sort. I miss Jewelly and even Stephen! They're both so nice and Jewell has done so much to welcome me back to RhyDin. I hope they are well for their sudden departure also concerns me. I must admit I miss Connar as well. Not knowing what has truly happened is the most difficult for me. I went back to the sea to see if I could sense anything at all, but no... ~E

Elessaria

Date: 2007-10-09 14:26 EST
RhyDin Red Dragon Inn Sunday, the 7th of October (2007); Early Afternoon

I had such a great talk with Kairee earlier today. She's such a breath of fresh air that it seems to have done all of us a bit of good. She really tried to help me sort through some of what has been going on with my empathy, mana and memories. Being such a powerful psionist, as well as mage, she is probably the best able to understand what is happening to me. Just the idea of having someone understand and with whom I can talk, has done wonders for my spirit. A few words of wisdom regarding matters of the heart certainly did not hurt either.

Speaking of hearts....it seems she had a very smitten admirer last night in the Inn. A drow gentleman who loves to dance! Imagine that"!" There are some drow that just make me nauseous through my shields; yet, I have known quite a few engaging ones with whom I got along quite well. He seems to be charming, attentive, handsome and someone with a quick wit which is really what I believe she needs and enjoys the most. Definitely not bad for a Drow.

Kairee and I talked about first love and true loves. It brought back a very vivid image of that handsome elf again. When I told Kai, she advised me not to push my memory too much. I think there is definitely something more there and need to keep practicing my magic, so I can return to Evandar and hopefully figure out what is going on with me.

I found a beautiful length of black silk adorned with red roses that I want fashioned into a gown for the next big RhyDin formal event. I can picture it now....

~E

Elessaria

Date: 2007-10-10 10:10 EST
RhyDin Red Dragon Inn Monday, the 8th of October (2007); sometime well after midnight.

I wore jeans for the first time tonight during my shift. Everybody seems to enjoy them so much, so I thought I'd try a pair even though I prefer dresses and such. It is rare that I ever soil or tear my garments; however, it is probably wise to wear them when I'm scavenging what little remains of Asheby. Wow! Talk about a different experience! I can feel myself blush just thinking about some of the reactions. Piper of course went the analytical route, Jewell and Stephen....well, never mind. Then there was a rather roguish rake, who was startling handsome, I must admit. His name seems sort of familiar; I wonder if maybe I met him back at the SEB. His appearance brought out such a protectiveness in my friends that I've not seen before" even gentle Cieara! He and Piper seemed to hit it off when I got busy tending; but, we definitely do not need to worry about her falling for the smooth talk" not with her pithy banter. If anything, she is too guarded and cynical. That worries me.

It was such a terrific night. I got to see Jewell and Stephen before they sail again. Jewell invited me to join them; but, the thought of being stuck aboard a ship where Stephen's crew chooses to wash their laundry in urine when Jewell can simply boil water" Mmmm....not my idea of a vacation.

Daniel and Cieara were in rare form. We even had Danny blushing! There was that crazy woman who sleeps in the cellar tossing around some sort of uterine stones or something. Gah, I do not get paid enough to touch those things! Cieara and I have been warned that the "Do Not Molest' List is no longer in effect when Jewell and Stephen are not in Rhydin" at least according to Robert. Even Panther joined in our banter and merriment...Everybody was in such a terrific frame of mine. In fact, the dazzling drow who is obviously quite interested in Kairee, hopped on top of a stool and was rather melodramatic and overly complimentary just to to see me blush whilst I fetched him his drink. They didn't need to wait long because I turned into a silly little ninny when the Colonel surpised us with his visit." I even dropped Panther's tankard of ale. Whew, my friends are protective. I love them dearly.

Oh, and I am going to torture Gav mercilessly for teasing me his entire shift. He finally gave in when Des, Kacey, Shea and I ganged up on him and pulled out the vanity card— the man is exceptionaly paranoid about his hair.

~E

Elessaria

Date: 2007-10-15 00:32 EST
RhyDin Red Dragon Inn Saturday, the 13th October (2007); Mid afternoon

I have not been feeling too well as of late. My heart and my head are all mixed up" as if that were a novel revelation! A couple of nights ago, a stranger entered the Inn toting a book (Cie deduced the source for us) that packed enough of an emotional kick that it sent Danny home with a headache, gave Cie a good mental swat and of course, took my feet out from under me. What scared me the most was not even so much the unintentional attack; but, my response to it. If Cie hadn't been there, I might have counter-attacked the man. I do not like feeling that way.

And worse, as much as I adore Jake, I really do not know where my heart is. I truly do not and I know it will hurt him when we talk about it; yet, I would rather do it now before his feelings grow and the news would wound him to the core. I just can't do that to him. I love him too much as a friend. I talked to Erin about it since she knows him well and she agreed to do it quickly and as painlessly as possible. I'm afraid to hurt him. And I admit I am being selfish, because I don't want to be hurt again.

So, what do I end up doing" I jump" head first, without looking" from the frying pan straight into the fire!! I accepted an invitation to dinner and dancing with Wil. I must be insane. There is definitely a spark there; it only burned brighter when we chatted over some brandy and brownies after I helped Amber tend the other night. It's hard to know for certain, because there was the usual chaotic insanity in the Inn: Darren trying to avoid being beaten up, some kid tossing Ninja smoke pellets, more hatchlings!

I think in some odd way I'm more comfortable having dinner with Wil, because I know there is no way I could break his heart. Mine however....

~E

Elessaria

Date: 2007-10-21 16:00 EST
Rhy'Din The Woods North of Rhy'Din Saturday, the 20th of October; Mid-afternoon.

I am so surprised and sooooo excited! Elly is going to interview me for the November Issue of The Oracle! It's a column she does about the most beautiful people in RhyDin. I'm very honoured by her offer— I'll be associated with her and the other beautiful people! Although, I can't compare to her, because she can tuck a chainsaw away in her bosom!

Oh gosh....wait....this is Elly. Who knows what she'll ask me? After her last interview regarding the elf vs dwarf situation, I think caution is wise.

I've been sort of withdrawn as of late. Life is an intense roller coaster at times and it's especially hard being an empath. There has been an influx of beautiful fabrics, including silks, from an area called Mt. Yasuko or something like that. I really didn't pay attention to the merchant, since I was too busy admiring the bolts of cloth. Oh, I bought probably too much!! So much so, that I'll probably have to bring some to Koy'shop and finish them all myself. It's not been all bad. There have been some bright spots in this darkness— a beacon of hope!

~E

Elessaria

Date: 2007-11-19 15:02 EST
Rhy'Din Red Dragon Inn Monday, the 12 November (2007); Mid-afternoon. Last night was one of the most intense emotional nights I have experienced in a long time. There were three darker type patrons who reeked of magic, darkness, and sex. The male out of the group was the most brazen and when he was too interested in Jewell, I just couldn't take it anymore. We sniped back and forth verbally; but, I couldn't really express how I felt until after my shift. The danger was palpable to me. Thank goodness Wil came in, because he gives me so much comfort.

After my shift, Wil went to get a few things done and I returned downstairs to be on hand to help Gav in case the rowdies got rowdier. Oh that creature! I think one of his cohorts called him "Gar". We goaded each other until I could feel I was ready to explodes with frustration and anger. It was good that he left shortly after that. Tass was there which helped Jewell tremendously and kept me from being reckless....for a little while. I got so angry that Tass let them get away with their plotting, planning, and seduction. Danny wasn't himself either.

I finally ran into the kitchen and broke every glass, mug, and dish that I could get my hands on and broke them into millions of peices. I almost blew up, Gav. Des would've killed me.

I was drained emotionally by the entire experience, so when Wil returned to the Inn we decided a short walk for some fresh air would be good for me. It was at that time, beneath the moon and the stars that we once more kissed and proclaimed our love to one another. We returned to my room shortly after that where he soothed and pampered me. It was such a heady experience I couldn't even begin to find words to do it justice. It was the farthest opposite to how I felt earlier that evening.We spent the night sleeping in one another's arms. I knew through my empathy that his feelings toward me were genuine and with my shields lowered, we were both able to feel each other's emotions which just added another layer to an intricate melding of two people falling completely, if quickly, in love.

~E

Elessaria

Date: 2007-11-23 12:09 EST
RhyDin The Ruins of Asheby Manor; Near Redstone Lake Tuesday, the 20th of November (2007); Late Afternoon

Things have been entirely crazy here— not that life is ever really normal here in RhyDin. Connar's return has been interesting to say the least. I don't think anyone is communicating very clearly lately; the planets must be misaligned or something. I know it's been uncomfortable for Connar to see me with Wil, since he only has what he wrote in his journal on which to rely. Piper's emotions are mixed, yet I think there are other tensions lurking beneath the facade she puts on. Maeve had us all giggling with her interpretation of men and women and their relationships. She has one of the sweetest hearts. Piper does too! I wish I knew more what was going on, but we've not had the opportunity to talk. Somebody's always having a crisis or we're passing ways.

My last two visits here were more eventful than today's search. Over the weekend I found a clump of mud in which I glimpsed a tiny bit of gold. Well, it is not encased in mud; instead, it appears to be trapped in molten marble. I did not know this was even possible except that there was so much powerful magic coursing through my home when it was destroyed. Its has a familiar resonance to it and if I discover my instincts are correct, I believe it bodes well for the House of Devabriel.

Unfortunately my most recent visit was terrifying. I did not just see the Crimson Rains again; but, I bore witness both physically and emotionally again. I was covered with blood and whom do I meet on the porch of the Inn? Connar, of course. We were able to discuss things a bit more openly between us. I explained to him a bit more of how I witnessed what I thought was his death and the rest of that whole ordeal. I'm glad we were able to talk some more.

I was able to return to my suite to bathe thoroughly, throw out my clothes and old cape before Wil returned home. I'm not quite ready to tell Wil yet about these blood rains. He is human and non-mage gifed; so, I fear for his safety more than I fear his thinking I am an escapee from RhyDin's Asylum! It is only fair that I do tell him and soon since he is in danger simply from being with me.

~E

Elessaria

Date: 2008-01-11 21:24 EST
RhyDin The Red Dragon Inn Monday, the 7th of January (2008); Mid-morning

Another sick headache" this time it struck during my tending shift. As always, Wil was there to keep me company and many friends as well. He is very thoughtful and had a warm bubble bath and a cup of tea waiting for me after my shift. I count him among my blessings every day.

As if life could get any crazier in RhyDin, we friends have somehow become a self proclaimed "clan of misfits" to which I have been elected (without any chance of defending myself) the leader. Now all I need to do is come up with the name! Poor Wil somehow misinterpreted, with much help from Pipes, this "clan' to be some sort of brood consisting of at least seven misfit children! He is very relieved to learn that elven women do not necessarily have large numbers of children. The sparkle in his eyes during our playful bantering revealed that he certainly would not mind having children at the least.

My heart aches when I consider the possibility that I may not be able to have a child. Or I guess I should add "again?. When the time is right, I shall tell him how I miscarried my baby shortly after the death of her father" my husband, Hans. Children were rare in Evandar, add in the miscarriage and the strange side-effects from being morphed into a human for a quarter of my life....who knows what will happen" Well, I do know that whatever happens, Wil shall be by my side and we will face the future side-by-side, heart-by-heart.

I worry about Piper. She hides behind the quips and laughter, but she still bears the mark of that odd rune, burned into her hand. That night when Connar and I tried to help her, it was if there were someone else inside of her. It was odd and extremely painful to counter the spells it left behind. I know she's scared. I'm scared for her. Peredhil is teaching her archery and the two of them seem to have hit it off.

My friends are my family. It was such a rare joy to share the laughter with all of them and not have it spoiled in any way when we celebrated the New Year with them. I hope it is a sign that better days are to come here in RhyDin. Sianna and Johnny did a fantastic job! It was wonderful to get to meet the rest of their family! The food was delicious, the conversation entertaining....it was fun! The children seemed to have a terrific time as well and it was especially heart-warming to watch everyone interact with them.

~E

Elessaria

Date: 2008-01-11 23:35 EST
RhyDin Red Dragon Inn Thursday, the 10th of January (2008); Late afternoon

Nuage is missing.

He was with me last night when I went out for a late walk and to scout out some areas where Wil and I could return later to find a home. That is all I remember.

When I regained my senses, I was alone and stumbling along the alley behind the Inn. I was covered in blood, my mind was whirling, my emotions raw. Jewell was there with Stephen. She was upset, but I couldn't get near her— we were both hurting so.

I burned my palm on the hot kettle trying to prepare some of my special tea. Darkmere appeared suddenly and told me I managed to avoid being some creature's late night snack, then he treated my burn. I would not allow him to use any magic on me. I think more damage would be done.

It was the pain that brought a short burst of clarity to my senses and I realized that Nuage was missing. Darkmere tried to calm me, but while he was trying to figure out how to find my sweet wolf, I raced out of the Inn in search of him.

I only returned a few short hours ago....without success.

Wil was so worried he was almost angry and I was so exhausted, I just cried myself to sleep in his arms. He's gone to prepare some tea and a bath for me. Then we shall go look at some houses for a short while so I do not tire myself all the more. I know it pains him greatly to see me sad and he is hoping that house hunting will be a happy, if temporary, distraction— for both of us.

How can life bring such joy and sorrow at the same time?

In spite of my prayers and pleas, the Darkness still comes.

~E

Elessaria

Date: 2008-02-02 22:36 EST
RhyDin Red Dragon Inn Saturday, the 2nd of February (2008); early evening

The is something....someone....some sort of magical entity that seems to have partial possession of Piper. The appearances of this "thing are becoming more frequent and more intense each time I witness it. In fact a couple of nights ago it dared to interact with me, trying to goad me into some sort of action. I spent the time sparring with words with it; I won't use my spellfire right now for there are traps set about it and I fear triggering one that may cause irreperable harm to Piper. Cie and that annoying Lord Veighn had given this entity a specific name, but I can't recall it; I was a bit busy at that time. Finally the "thing" departed leaving an unconscious and exhausted Piper sleeping once again in my guest room.

My heart hurts so much because Nuage is still missing. I almost fear him dead. It is excruciating lonely in our suite now when Wil is off tending to business ventures. At least I would have Nuage to go walk with or lounge by the fire, my bare feet resting lightly on his fur while I read.

It's the second day of Fashion Week here in RhyDin and I am enjoying myself very much. On one of these days I'm dragging Rena and Piper with me. Des is already exciting to go. She's always up for shopping — a what a fun friend! I'm sure we could probably harangue Jewell to go along as well, because she is also always interested in a good shopping spree.

Wil and I are having trouble getting in contact with the person who owns the land we are interested in purchasing. How we're going to get all these things done in time for our wedding?

I'm feeling a bit out of sorts again tonight. I certainly hope it doesn't mean there will be another occurance of the crimson rains.

~E

Elessaria

Date: 2008-02-02 22:47 EST
RhyDin Red Dragon Inn Saturday, the 2nd of February (2008); later on that night

I can't seem to get this song out of my head. I hope maybe by writing it down it'll help. My luck it'll imprint it even deeper in my brain and then I'll never get it out.

~E

~I live my life like a runaway I hide my dreams in a special place I'm waiting here for my prince to come To save me from the darkness

I count the nights I count the days, the ways Don't wanna fight it would be in vain So in vain

I can run but i can't hide It's because I'm livin' in the shadow of love To me you are the only one That I dream of 'Cause I'm livin' in the shadow of love

Your love surrounds me it's Everywhere It is my shelter, it is my air A moon eclipsing a burning sun Making shade just for me

For you I'd wait forever baby And a day To be there if your love Should come My way

I can run but I can't hide It's because I'm livin' in the shadow of love To me you are the only one That I dream of 'Cause I'm livin' in the shadow of love

Too many nights too many days I've hidden from the sun And though I've tried to breakaway Your hold on me is just too strong I'm livin' in the shadow of love

I can run but I can't hide It's because I'm livin' in the shadow of love To me you are the only one That I dream of 'Cause I'm livin' in the shadow of love

To me you are the only one I dream of 'Cause I'm livin' in the shadow of love

The shadow of love The shadow of love

I can run but I can't hide It's because I'm livin' in the shadow of love To me you are the only one That I dream of 'Cause I'm livin' in the shadow of love ~ Shadow of Love, Taking Chances by Celine Dion Written by Anders Bagge / Aldo Nova / Peter Sj'str?m

Elessaria

Date: 2008-03-27 15:27 EST
In the temporarily abandoned suite that Eless has rented for the duration of her life. A fluffy quill pen floated to a jar of ink, dipped itself and began to write upon the open page of Eless' untouched journal. A faint voice, reduced to a worn whisper accompanied the shaky penmanship.

Somewhere Lost Between The Veils When: Unknown

I learned from the past Not everything lasts I understand that now

Everything changed When you walked away But I'll survive somehow

Though I have regrets I'll learn to forget And just keep movin' on

'Cause when love is gone You have to be strong

Once touched by pain You're not the same But time can heal your Heart again So let the clouds That bring you down Just fade away Away So I try to smile But after a while The memories come back

But I won't give in 'Cause I know that then My heart will fade to black

And this time I learned That love can burn It's an all consuming flame

There's no right or wrong I've gotta be strong

Once touched by pain You're not the same But time can heal your Heart again So let the clouds That bring you down Just fade away

I know that one day I'll find it Feeling again But until I do I'm doin' Fine by myself

Once touched by pain You're not the same But time can heal your Heart again So let the clouds That bring you down

Once touched by pain You're not the same But time can heal your Heart again So let the clouds That bring you down

So let the clouds That bring you down Just fade away

"Fade Away" from Taking Chances by Celine Dion;Written by Peer Astrom / David Stenmarck / Aldo Nova

Elessaria

Date: 2008-04-11 20:39 EST
RhyDin Red Dragon Inn Friday, the 11th of April (2008); Late Afternoon

It's odd how I feel both comforted by a sense of being home and distraught at the same time. My suite is hollowingly empty. I do not begrudge Wil's decision to move forward with his life. I cannot say I would not have done the same thing if he had disappeared instead of me. However, I realize that I am probably never meant to find true, lasting, love. I am bound by my duty to serve the Light more so now than ever.

My tears still fall openly and frequently each time my gaze rests upon one of Nuage's favored resting places. This is twice that those of the Dark have slaughtered a special lupine companion/protector of mine. They will pay dearly for such actions. I vow this upon my soul, for my heart is wounded and life is capricious.

I'm still confused by how I was once again captured and even more so of how I have returned. I last recall resting from the Carnivale Masque after Wil, Rena and Piper rescued me. Then I was once again in my suite and only tattered bits of the past days spent in the shadows are left for me to piece together somehow. I bore witness to many horrific events. Some I sense were from my past, others were from the present and yet more may come to pass.

My dear friends will want answers and I know not what to say. I could see their unspoken questions in their eyes last night; but, they wished me peace and laid their curiosity to rest for the moment. I can only share what I remember as I remember, however I will not share the darkest moments.

There is no need for any to have to suffer this....least of all my precious, precious friends who are indeed my family.

And RhyDin is my home.

~E

Elessaria

Date: 2008-04-22 22:47 EST
RhyDin Red Dragon Inn Tuesday, the 22 of April (2008); Late morning

Yet another night filled with broken dreams. I have had to take double doses of my special tea to try to sleep; any less than that and sleep avoids me or at least restful sleep.

My friends have been so gentle and kind upon my return. The Misfits are as mischievous as ever even if they've been slacking a bit. The hugs and smiles have been very reassuring, as has finding the freesia Connar left at MMMM HQs for me.

I finally dared to ask Rena how Wil is faring and she informed me he wasn't himself for awhile after I disappeared. Understandably so....as I told her....Hearts are not meant to be kept; They're to be free to move on when so desired their company treasured and cherished during the time shared.

Some young lass asked me about Wil and our relationship. I believe she was indirectly wanting to pursue him to which I informed her he is free to do as he pleases. He has already moved on.

We've not run into each other yet which is probably for the best. I do, however, need to return the engagement ring to him. It's only right.

I've been plague with sick headaches as of late and often find smudges of blood upon my pillow cases when I wake. I just keep moving on and jumped right back into tending here.

I look forward to Johnny and Si's wedding. They are such a terrific couple who compliment each other perfectly. There families are wonderful as well— all kind, gentle people. I need to surround myself with kind, gentle people now.

Beltane....I do nay know if I shall even attend. I spend the remembrance day of my birth captive. Although I rejoice in the celebration of Spring and new life, the insincere pledges of the heart and shallow words that tend to spill all too freely during this celebration are things my wounded heart simply cannot abide right now.

I can't help but smile, though, remembering how Jewell went out of her way to welcome me back during this time last year and how it was the beginning of a great friendship with Piper.

Rena has been a quiet, steadying source of strength for me these days.

My headache worsens, I need to prepare some tea.

~E

Elessaria

Date: 2008-04-30 08:35 EST
RhyDin Red Dragon Inn Wednesday, the 30th of April (2008); Just after dawn.

I find myself just sitting here and staring out the window, watching the passersby bustle about their daily business. It was a night filled with nightmares and little sleep— I didn't drink my tea last night. I had a quiet talk with S'jira which brightened my evening. She is such a sweet lass with a tender heart. She's returning the shawl I gave her, but she's done her beautiful beadwork upon it. I shall wear it proudly tonight to Johnny and Sianna's wedding.

I finally met with Wil on Friday night. It did not go very well; yet, it could have gone worse. I do not understand how his moving out of my suite equates to my leaving him. However, I cannot claim to understand his heart, nor anyone else's when I have yet to understand my own. I apologized for my disappearance and returned the engagement ring. He was hurting terribly and so was I. Just like he cannot grasp what happened to me, I cannot understand how quickly he discounted my return. It's better this way....I think....I hope. At least he shall be safe from the Darkness when it returns for it will again.

He and the Lady Caer seem to have hit it off splendidly. I was happy to hear that they're attending the Beltane festivities together. They shall be a better match for each other since they both frequent the realms of space and technology — of which I have very little experience. She's a kind and gracious woman and their interest in one another is far from surprising.

The sick headaches worsen, but with the tea induced sleep they are mostly bearable. Antonio was kind enough to try to massage it away for me and he welcomed me back with a drink he created called "Passion of the Golden Wood". We ladies not only enjoy the drink, but all the teasing that goes along with the name.

There are memories that float among the shadows that I cannot grasp during my waking hours. It is only during the nights that they torment me. Part of me wants to remember and the other part of me is terrified.

Again, I am blessed by good friends who have offered a kind word, or an embrace or even a smile that help to heal me in more ways than they will probably ever know.

~E

Elessaria

Date: 2008-05-03 15:57 EST
RhyDin Red Dragon Inn Saturday, the 3rd of May (2008); Mid-afternoon

I certainly should not have stayed at the Beltane celebration as long as I did last night, but I had so much fun. It lightened my heart to see so many friends and denizens enjoying themselves. Trinala was a perfect May Queen and her Green Man, Loxley, although a bit confused by the whole affair, was a very nice young man.

My date was stolen from me!!! A very charming gentleman by the name of Gareth "borrowed" Rena for some conversation and company — I was thrilled! Antonio decided to start a kissing "booth" for him and Trinala. A donation to the Orphanage Fund was the "payment". It provided much entertainment and raised a goodly sum of money.

Everybody was dressed so nicely and it was very amusing to watch Kitty in a dress....with pink beading! We just have to love Tannie for that! And well, Tass was Tass! I made it back to the Inn and just curled up exhausted on the swing until Soran came out with some hot tea and escorted me inside to a comfortable seat at the hearth. She is very, very kind and keenly observant. To most I appear perfectly fine and just as I was before my captivity— a facade I work hard to uphold. Without the support of my friends, I probably would nay be able to maintain it.

Franco mentioned I was "bitter" about Wil's moving on so quickly; I must be careful so my surprise (and yes, quite a bit of hurt) are not misinterpreted. It's difficult at times being an empath: I feel the emotions of others, but I am not allowed to display my own" Or is that simply my own personal rule" Still, I adore that pink-haired blogger and his writings entertain me during my frequent rests.

I have packed my bags for a brief respite from RhyDin. I shall leave sometime this evening and told Rena about my plans so as not to cause any undue concern. I believe I may visit the place called Mt. Yasuo, because I have heard it is a good choice if one wants some peace and a chance to quiet one's turmoil.

Oh, I nearly forgot to mention Johnny and Si's wedding! Si was absolutely stunning and Johnny was quite dapper! Once again everyone was dressed beautifully. The ceremony was incredibly moving and their vows were perfect examples of their abiding love. I was so happy I could attend!

~E