RhyDin Upstairs Apartment at ~Heart Notes~ Wednesday, the 11th of May (2011); Late afternoon.

How quickly the joyfulness from the Beltane festivities faded to sorrow and suffering.

The fever is now mostly under control, but my body (and spirit) continue to fight the taint that runs through me. Some of the welts on my back are beginning to heal— at least the ones where it was simple leather scoring my flesh. Wherever the cursed slivers of metal touched me continues to scorch me and they are more resistant to healing. I could not risk the taint spreading to another healer, so I am trying to tend them as best as I can. It nearly killed me to reveal his marks to Michael and to feel the anger and frustration radiate from him at my suffering.

I cannot shed the shame that I bear for it was my fault I was captured. The physical wounds are much easier to mend. I feel so vulnerable. I not only begged for Michael to leave the sconces lit, but I pleaded with him nay to leave me. I could no longer keep silent about what I had overheard between him and Kendall. And despite his tender reassurances, it is still one fear amongst many that currently plague me.

I am even more ashamed of my weakness.

As hard as I have tried to keep this from my friends, they know me too well to be duped by simple magical glamours. I am lucky to have them; yet now I fear for their safety as well. He tortured me once by forcing me to witness the death of those about whom I cared; he would revel in doing so again.

Weakened, it makes it that much more difficult to resist and tolerate the surge of heightened emotions (and hormones) that typically comes with Spring— especially in RhyDin. Last year I had escaped the brunt of it with my sojourn to Evandar. I am resting as much as possible and trying not to be too stubborn about submitting to the care of friends. Ginny has been marvelous in tending the parfumerie for me and Michael has limited his work to only the most necessary of jobs. Which I believe is sometimes a cover for his attempts to resolve the whole Hammett mess and now, to try to find my assailant.

I need steady and light emotions about me in my condition. And the calm, quiet and strong demeanor of friends like Marek, Luke, Calix, Illissa and Ravenna are so appreciated.

~E

http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/img-set/BQcDAAAAAwoDanBnAAAABC5vdXQKFmJEUUV4dHlBNEJHZjJPU04zaGgtV0EAAAACaWQKAXgAAAAEc2l6ZQ.jpg

RhyDin The Work Room at ~Heart Notes~ Saturday, the 21st of May (2011); Lunch break.

Well, so much for an easy night at the Dragon. Bashir and his brother Tumay arrived and I could sense there was something terribly wrong. It turns out that Kendall has gone missing and Bashir is holding me partially responsible. They believe it involves Hammett. I know nothing at least consciously.

Now everybody knows that Michael's absences were growing more frequent and that he is now gone. He took most of his belongings and vanished. Did father and daughter play us both' I do not know. I really do not think I know anything anymore.

In my condition, I had so little control over my emotions and add in the intense ones radiating from Bashir, I well....nearly lost it. Luckily Tass stepped in and managed to contain them.

I understand Bashir's grief and heartsickness, but the fact that he did not believe me cut deeply. I am allowing them full access to my home and Michael's office here to see if they can detect something. In the meantime, I am going to go over my last few conversations with Michael to see if there were any clues. But, honestly....there was little contact.

~E

~"You're just a fool, just a fool to believe you can change the world"

The world's so big, it can break your heart And you just want to help, not sure where to start So you close your eyes And send up a prayer into the dark

"You're just a fool, just a fool to believe you can change the world"~

———————- ((Lyrics from Change by Carrie Underwood))

RhyDin The Work room at ~Heart Notes~ Thursday, the 26th of May (2011); Early Evening

I finished packing up what little Michael had left behind in belongings as well as his office. He will always carry part of my heart with him. I am grateful to him for helping me to discover new parts of myself and I hope, that he continues on the path he started when with me. I don't know if Bashir's people found anything useful as I was not present during their search.

Tass and Kitty set up a place for me to stay, because I just do not feel up to staying here right now. However, I found a sanctuary elsewhere and it was totally unexpected. Luke has allowed me to stay with him and it has been amazing. He has this incredible ability to ground me and his calmness has been a blessing. We spent a rainy day just watching movies and it was the first time I ever saw one. Time spent with him and that crazy dog of his has been an important part of my recovery.

We have both been burned and both are a bit hesitant; but, who knows what will happen" It just seems so easy....so....right...

Dare I take the chance to believe in dreams again?

~E

~Lyin' here with you so close to me It's hard to fight these feelings when it feels so hard to breathe Caught up in this moment Caught up in your smile

I've never opened up to anyone So hard to hold back when I'm holding you in my arms We don't need to rush this Let's just take it slow

Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight Just a touch of the fire burning so bright And I don't want to mess this thing up I don't want to push too far Just a shot in the dark that you just might Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life So baby I'm alright, with just a kiss goodnight

I know that if we give this a little time It'll only bring us closer to the love we wanna find It's never felt so real, no it's never felt so right~ http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/img-set/BQcDAAAAAwoDanBnAAAABC5vdXQKFkRsRTNOX1NFNEJHVm01MHM5U0R2OUEAAAACaWQKAXgAAAAEc2l6ZQ.jpg

————————————- ((Lyrics from Just A Kiss by Lady Antebellum. Video here: http://youtu.be/0CknzEmj1yE))

RhyDin Casa Lucas Thursday, the 30th of June (2011); Early Evening.

Life has settled into a natural, easy rhythm now that I have moved in with Luke. I was spending most of my time there anyhow and my apartment at Heart Notes was filled with bittersweet memories. I do not only love him, but I like him as well. I enjoy spending time with him whether it is working on the backyard, playing cards or spending a rainy weekend watching movies. I do need to find a Luke dictionary, though, for all the crazy expressions he spouts off.

Last weekend was his fortieth birthday and I was told by human friends that it is special one; so, I learned how to make some of his native dishes. I also think I scored a really big win with the car I bought for him. It took a bit of finagling with a bunch of different sources, but I managed to get him a '69 Barracuda convertible. I do not know much about cars yet Luke said I needed to name this one. We now call it Korrah.

The only damper on this 'new' life seems to be that He found me. I would have sworn I smelled him a couple of nights ago while I was out exploring with Bandito. I was shaken up pretty badly when I felt the burning in my scars and now must be extra cautious when I am out and about.

~E

RhyDin The Backyard Swing at Casa Lucas Friday, the 8th of July (2011); Late afternoon.

Luke was finally convinced I was feeling better and safe enough to run to his office for a short bit. Last night scared the both of us. I had not expected Him to start playing his games so soon. Instead of just having to deal with an ordinary street thug, I ended up barely dodging a magical and empathic assault. Luckily my reflexes have been sharpened by all the rapier work with Kal. My assailant left before I could strike back and then next thing I knew Luke was there and guiding me to the car. It was all I could do to hold onto the tattered shreds of my dignity and not get sick in Korrah. That would not have been pretty, but the sudden shifts in movement in such a conveyance that I am not used to was hard with the sick headache that had resulted.

I know I rambled on about the strangest things and Luke thought I was probably delirious, but I knew I would slip easily from consciousness and he would not know how best to care for me. Now he knows to bring me close to the fire and build it up high. Poor Luke and Bandito must have been burning up, but they did not complain a tiny peep. They endured the heat and stayed at my side.

I eventually felt better enough to tease him about his prize, but I believe he has turned the tables on me. We shall see. That old saw that "Laughter is the best medicine" is not far off— especially for an empath. Add in a limitless supply of love and I might even be up for dinner out tonight.

~E

RhyDin The Balcony's Swing at Casa Lucas Friday, the 29th of July (2011); Late Afternoon.

I absolutely love the balcony now that Luke finished it. The flowering vines are already starting to blossom and form a natural "screen". It smells heavenly when I sit out here some mornings having a cup of tea. I have never met a man before who works so hard to turn my dreams into a reality at least not until I met Luke. His timing his excellent since Lirssa's cousin, Zahra, will be living in the apartment above Heart Notes. Instead of charging her rent, I asked her to look after King John & Cleo as well as the garden and courtyard. This arrangement, I believe will be beneficial for both of us.

The parfumerie has been surprisingly busy this summer and I am going to be busier than usual at the Inn. Luke tries to schedule his cases around my schedule and vice versa, this way we manage to spend much of our free time together. So far we have narrowed down the wedding to this Autumn....possibly October. Raye is engaged now and so is Jaycy. Usually it is an epidemic of pregnancies around here instead of betrothals.

Sometimes Luke and I wonder how this all manged to happen. We come from two completely different worlds and yet we share many of the same beliefs. He is learning elven faster than I am learning Cajun. Once he is relaxed, his accent returns and half the time I have no idea what he is talking about. Still, that is okay. We usually share a good laugh over it.

There are still friends who are just learning about our engagement. It seems that most are happy for us— even if they are a bit surprised. Connar seemed to take the news better than he did with Michael. I know he hopes that I find happiness. I am uncertain if he ever will. At least he was in one piece and I got to talk to him during his visit. I still worry about him and he will always reside in a special place in my heart.

Bandito has just brought me his soggy tennis ball, so I had better go out back to play with him. Hopefully this time it will not accidentally land in a nest of poisonous snakes.

~E

~I don't know what brought us here Something in the stars said you and me I don't know where this feeling comes from Surely it was meant to be For I have known you even in my dreams My eyes are open, my heart can see

As sure as stars light the midnight sky As sure as children wonder why As sure as newborn babies cry I was born to give my love to you Born to give my love to you

Heaven must be holding on To all the love I'm feeling now Here we are this is a moment I believe it's our turn somehow Hearts together, hands across the night One forever, finally in sight~

———- ((Lyrics from Born To Give My Love To You by Martina McBride. Video can be foundhere: Born To Give My Love To You))

RhyDin Casa Lucas Sunday, the 14th of August (2011); Early Evening.

I am glad that today is Sunday and Heart Notes is closed. Ever since I was ambushed by the nurse Fiora hired to vaccinate the Plaza people against the RBF, I have not felt ....right. My upper arm is still sore and just today I began to run a low-grade fever. Since I have never received a vaccination or any type of injection before, I really did not know what to expect. I am guessing and hoping that this is just a side-effect from the vaccine.

The nurse meant well, but I normally do not succumb to illnesses that affect the general population (usually human). My natural immunities are a definite plus when I perform my healer duties. I had not planned on getting vaccinated even though I did encourage Luke. Bandito scared the biddlerumpus off the woman, so I think she learned her lesson — ask before stabbing.

I heard that Lelah is ill and I wanted to go to the parfumerie to make her a get well basket, but I haven't the energy to do more than brew some tea.

~E

Red rain is coming down Red rain Red rain is pouring down Pouring down all over me

I am standing up at the water's edge in my dream I cannot make a single sound as you scream It can't be that cold, the ground is still warm to touch Hey, we touch This place is so quiet, sensing that storm

Red rain is coming down Red rain Red rain is pouring down Pouring down all over me

Well, I've seen them buried in a sheltered place in this town They tell you that this rain can sting and look down There is no blood around, see no sign of pain Hey, no pain Seeing no red at all, see no rain

Red rain is coming down Red rain Red rain is pouring down Pouring down all over me

Red rain

Oh, oh Putting the pressure on much harder now To return again and again (Red rain) Just let the red rain splash you Let the rain fall on your skin (Red rain) I come to you, defenses down (Oh) With the trust of a child

Oh, red rain coming down Red rain Red rain is pouring down Pouring down all over me

And I can't watch anymore No more denial It's so hard to lay down in all of this Red rain coming down Red rain is pouring down Red rain is coming down all over me I see it

Red rain coming down Red rain is pouring down Red rain is coming down all over me

I'm bathing in Red rain coming down Red rain is coming down Red rain is coming down all over me

I'm begging you Red rain coming down Red rain coming down Red rain coming down Red rain coming down Over me in the red, red sea Over me Over me Red rain

———————- (( Lyrics from Red Rain by Peter Gabriel. A terrific version of it can be found here: Red Rain))

RhyDin Our Bedroom Saturday, the 3rd of December (2011); Early evening.

It feels good to be back to work even though I still tire pretty easily. I slowly eased back into work at Heart Notes, because even though Zahra has joined the team, I am the one responsible for the custom scents and it is now our busy season. Last night I returned to the Inn and fell asleep in the car on the way home. I pushed myself too much, too soon upon my release and Luke had to put his foot down so that I could rest and recover in a timely manner.

It was so good to see friends and to share laughter and good-natured teasing. I need to speak to Tass about Taneth's "ground ceremony'. From what little Ebon knew, it did not sound very good.

I received a rather flattering invitation to attend some sort of competition in Dyahrk's land of Adenna; but, unfortunately I was unable to attend. Even if I had been well enough, I do nay think I would participate. I doubt I would be able to parade around in a swimsuit as I get such a nervous tummy whenever I have walked a runway for Koy. Still, it was very thoughtful and I am quite honoured by the invitation.

Swimsuits....that reminds me I need to shop for our honeymoon. I wanted to go some place warm, so Luke said Mexico is the place to go. I believe it's on Earth. Maybe we will get to stop in Louisiana and meet his family while we are there. We need to decide on a new date soon. I am almost back at my normal weight, so my dress will require only minor alterations. Luke really is a genius in the kitchen! It is just difficult to pick a date with all of the Winterfest events coming up and the holiday season in general.

A few minor tweaks in the wedding plans to adjust to the change in seasons and we should be ready to go.

~E

RhyDin Luke's Office at The Plaza Tuesday, the 31 of January (2012); Late Afternoon.

I am waiting for Luke to finish a few notes on his current case, then we we stop for dinner on the way home. We are both so incredibly tired after all that has been going on. Thankfully, though, Doran has been found and appears to be well. There is something odd happening with him. It seems as if the ghosts or auras (or something unknown to us) from Raven's victims are connected to Doran in some way.

Ebon is fully aware and I will help if there is need. I channeled energy into Icer after she fought with Raven. She mentioned something about his being Brian all along. I really cannot comprehend what is happening. If he would hurt his sister, then how can he truly be Brian anymore?

There is a serial killer on the loose as well. All sorts of violence and chaos that is very disturbing.

On a happy note, business is exceptionally busy with the Saint's Holiday coming up. Fashion Week is ahead and so is the Valentine's Ball. I hope we can join in some of the festivities.

It looks more like the wedding will have to wait until closer to Spring. I am thinking of asking Luke if we could hold it on the Spring Equinox. It would be nice to have a happy memory associated with my birthday instead of all the sadness that it usually brings. However, I fear it could be a harbinger of ill fortune. ~E

RhyDin Casa Lucas Thursday, the 24th of May (2012); Early evening.

Just a couple of nights ago, Luke surprised me with an extra special dinner to celebrate our year "anniversary". Dessert was a dark chocolate truffle cake of which I gave him first bite — it must be true love.

Sometimes it is hard for me to believe he really battled his way through Hell to save me. A supposed mere mortal and his faithful, furred companion. He is no mere mortal to me, however. He is my soulmate in ways that most will never comprehend. We're both healing well and are trying to determine a new date for our wedding. So much has happened during my absence that it seems as if it were years and not months. Once I get a better idea of RhyDin's social calendar, we can finally celebrate the bond that occurred naturally.

Somewhere along the way I was chosen to be May Queen and I feel as if I failed those who voted for me. I was still quite weak and it was exacting to try to keep the glamours in place for both Luke and I in order to avoid our friends' concern over our well-being.

Ginny and Zahra have been indispensable in their assistance with Heart Notes. I could not have two better people working with me and I trust them completely.

~E