Topic: Persecutory Delusions

Bonnie Von Clyde

Date: 2016-08-28 12:00 EST
8.28.16

Paranoid. Always paranoid.

It never stops. I don't know why I thought it would change. I thought that after killing Zver, things would calm down. I could live my own life, do things differently. But I can't walk down a street without looking over my shoulder every couple seconds. Paranoia....It's a plague of the mind, of everything I do.

I was always a little bit paranoid when I was a hacker, but it was simple. Good security measures, never use the same laptop for hacking as you do personal use. It was easy to dodge it. But this.....It's like I'm just waiting for something else to pop out of the shadows to either take vengeance on me for what I did, or for what I've done....Cold Harbor will do that to you. You always think someone's around the corner, out to get you, kill you, hurt you.

It doesn't matter how far away from that place I get, it will never be enough. It doesn't help that I know it's only a mirror away...

I don't even know why I'm writing in this now, chances are I'm going to burn this by the time I'm done writing it. But it feels....good to get my thoughts on paper and out of my head. I need to keep this hidden, far away from anything and anyone. They can't know what I've done, what I do, what I want to do again.

Not anyone. Not even Wednesday....

...Especially not Wednesday.

http://24.media.tumblr.com/ee8a663d00892eb02ba303175279aa8d/tumblr_mfltqd0uow1r9f5cuo1_500.gif

Bonnie Von Clyde

Date: 2016-08-29 04:51 EST
8.29.16

I keep staring at it. The gun, I mean. The Peacemaker. Looking at it, touching it, spinning the cylinder. For something called the Peacemaker, it doesn't offer me much peace. It makes that fucking paranoia worse.

I stole it. From some angel named Kokabiel. Why she had that powerful gun that could kill just about anything....I don't know. I researched her after finding out where it was, who had it. Kokabiel. Angel of Seduction. I thought the best way to get it was....well, it's not hard to figure out.

I met her at a bar, some gorgeous blonde woman that was a petite little thing but held that feistiness that made my purpose all the more easier. We had some drinks, Jameson to be exact. She told me it was her favorite drink, so I bought her more. For an angel....it was almost too easy to get the job done. Some flirting banter....hit her in the vanity, which it didn't take me long to figure out that she was a vain woman. And sure enough, we were walking back to her place with her wrapped around my arm.

Yeah, I fucked her. Why wouldn't I" I was the distraction, and I can't really say I'm complaining about that. I got the fun part. Wednesday was the one supposed to sneak in while I was "distracting" the angel, and steal the gun. I honestly didn't think it was going to work, figured she'd catch on and we'd be toast.

Not the case....After we were done, I checked my phone. Two calls from Wednesday, the signal that she was successful. One for no, two for yes. Quick call, couple of rings, hang up and do it again. She got it. I....might've stuck around for coffee after that, the angel of Seduction was quite the hospitable woman. The less I looked suspicious, the better.

I left after a couple hours, made my way back home where Wednesday was waiting. She asked me what took me so long to get back, and all I could do was grin. You fuck the Angel of Seduction and not walk home grinning, whether it was a ploy for theivery or not.

Anyhow, now I've got this thing in my possession. Part of me feels powerful with it in my hands, the other part of me wants to throw it into the ocean at the Docks, rid myself of it before something....or someone....comes after me for it. But if you had the gun that could kill just about anything, including the devil himself" Would you be able to?

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Bonnie Von Clyde

Date: 2017-01-01 19:08 EST
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1.1.17

I slept all day. Woke up on the floor and have no clue where the hell my shirt went. I apparently didn't make it to the bed, but considering the bottles all over the apartment around me, I'm not surprised. I can't remember jack shit but at least from the looks of it I had a good time.

But, waking up on the floor, I did manage to find this stupid thing under my bed. Honestly, I thought someone had found it. Scared the shit out of me. But no, I must've knocked it off the desk and kicked it under the bed. Talk about a load off my mind. One less thing to be paranoid about.

The gun is hidden. I won't say where it is. But I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't keep it in my possession. Looking over my shoulder every two fucking seconds expecting someone to come after it, thus me. I think things with Zver have blown over, or they're just waiting a fucking long ass time to retaliate. Either way, I'm tired of hiding. This dingy apartment is going to drive me fucking insane. I need to get out soon. I need to find my next game plan.

Happy fucking new year I guess.

At least it seems I've slept through my hangover.