8.28.16
Paranoid. Always paranoid.
It never stops. I don't know why I thought it would change. I thought that after killing Zver, things would calm down. I could live my own life, do things differently. But I can't walk down a street without looking over my shoulder every couple seconds. Paranoia....It's a plague of the mind, of everything I do.
I was always a little bit paranoid when I was a hacker, but it was simple. Good security measures, never use the same laptop for hacking as you do personal use. It was easy to dodge it. But this.....It's like I'm just waiting for something else to pop out of the shadows to either take vengeance on me for what I did, or for what I've done....Cold Harbor will do that to you. You always think someone's around the corner, out to get you, kill you, hurt you.
It doesn't matter how far away from that place I get, it will never be enough. It doesn't help that I know it's only a mirror away...
I don't even know why I'm writing in this now, chances are I'm going to burn this by the time I'm done writing it. But it feels....good to get my thoughts on paper and out of my head. I need to keep this hidden, far away from anything and anyone. They can't know what I've done, what I do, what I want to do again.
Not anyone. Not even Wednesday....
...Especially not Wednesday.
http://24.media.tumblr.com/ee8a663d00892eb02ba303175279aa8d/tumblr_mfltqd0uow1r9f5cuo1_500.gif
Paranoid. Always paranoid.
It never stops. I don't know why I thought it would change. I thought that after killing Zver, things would calm down. I could live my own life, do things differently. But I can't walk down a street without looking over my shoulder every couple seconds. Paranoia....It's a plague of the mind, of everything I do.
I was always a little bit paranoid when I was a hacker, but it was simple. Good security measures, never use the same laptop for hacking as you do personal use. It was easy to dodge it. But this.....It's like I'm just waiting for something else to pop out of the shadows to either take vengeance on me for what I did, or for what I've done....Cold Harbor will do that to you. You always think someone's around the corner, out to get you, kill you, hurt you.
It doesn't matter how far away from that place I get, it will never be enough. It doesn't help that I know it's only a mirror away...
I don't even know why I'm writing in this now, chances are I'm going to burn this by the time I'm done writing it. But it feels....good to get my thoughts on paper and out of my head. I need to keep this hidden, far away from anything and anyone. They can't know what I've done, what I do, what I want to do again.
Not anyone. Not even Wednesday....
...Especially not Wednesday.
http://24.media.tumblr.com/ee8a663d00892eb02ba303175279aa8d/tumblr_mfltqd0uow1r9f5cuo1_500.gif