Topic: Twas the night~

Keirra Owens

Date: 2016-12-27 03:45 EST
Twas the night before Christmas in the Nighteater's lair Zver was squirming beneath Keirra's glare Expecting a kick, punch or a slap" He was waiting for the rogue to snap Freya was lounging in her usual spot Doing her best to ignore the lot Zim whimpered, torn between the two The pregnant demon, or the not-quite-Jew She looked to Dorian to help her out of this bind But he was locked in his office, shopping online Keirra looked to Zver with despise Plotting his downfall, pain, and demise! Throwing a pillow, he asked "What you looking at?" She swatted it down and yelled, "You'll pay for that!" From beneath the cushion, she pulled out a switch Zver grabbed his crutch and said, "Bring it on, bitch!" Zim howled and whined, begging them to just stop Dorian yelled from his office, "I'm trying to shop!" Putting down her paper, Freya threw up her hands She'd had about all that she could stand Grabbing them each by an ear She gave them a tug and said, "Listen here!" Shaking her head, she let out a sigh "If you ruin Christmas, Dorian will cry. Now both of you go right to bed One more fight and I'll have your head?? Put in their place by the man of the lair, They scurried away as she sat back in her chair The lair quieted down, with not a single fight Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

Christmas present thread! ...because visuals...and...presents! :D

Keirra Owens

Date: 2016-12-27 04:07 EST
For Zver: (Keirra spoiled him a bit this year to make up for what a terror she's been.) http://g03.a.alicdn.com/kf/HTB1lhauIFXXXXaraXXXq6xXFXXXL/10-colors-Schrodingers-Cat-T-shirt-science-geek-t-shirts-men-women-comic-tee-tshirt-The.jpghttps://img0.etsystatic.com/001/0/5326218/il_570xN.390914856_eqxh.jpghttp://media02.hongkiat.com/creative-tees/creative-tshirts.jpg http://cdn.somethinggeeky.com/product-images/large/humanbeingtshirt_523adf6491bc2.jpghttps://www.nerdyshirts.com/media/catalog/product/cache/14/small_image/500x600/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/u/p/upside_down_kids_mens_no_model.jpghttps://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/dd/69/b2/dd69b28c9543a73e1e37e5c1db7cd98b.jpghttps://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/ae/5a/ee/ae5aee2a1aede0c43f15fb0d26ceb1f1.jpg To expand his dorky wardrobe.

https://images.lookhuman.com/render/standard/4005485402825009/pillow14in-whi-z1-t-i-m-sorry-for-what-i-said-when-i-was-hungry.png Apology pillow.

http://www.aggouria.net/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/trela-opla-minigun-298x300.jpg Forgive me?



Keirra Owens

Date: 2016-12-27 04:21 EST
For Dorian:

https://st.hzcdn.com/simgs/23511028064a90d6_4-2757/transitional-bedroom-and-makeup-vanities.jpg A new vanity for getting ready! http://g03.a.alicdn.com/kf/HTB1NhA5HVXXXXchXVXXq6xXFXXXB/Free-shipping-sexy-thigh-high-boots-red-bottom-pumps-lace-up-gladiator-sexy-boots-above-knee.jpg Who doesn't like boots?!

http://thekindlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/set-of-makeup-brushes.jpg New makeup brushes.

http://cosmouk.cdnds.net/16/27/980x490/landscape-1467908582-makeup-collections.jpg Yeah....it happened.

http://pre02.deviantart.net/b0a3/th/pre/i/2010/217/f/c/my_whole_corset_collection_by_dragonheart69.jpg "To Dorian, thanks for being my best friend in the world. Love you, bitch."

Gabriel Petrova

Date: 2016-12-27 04:36 EST
Playing the role of both Santa and Grandpa: https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/681369995108954112/NX8EJtXr.jpg

He arrived with Hanky Doodles towing the presents for him, in a red wagon and perhaps making it absolutely, positively, no way around it mandatory to wear the gifts the Nighteater Lord had given to him that morning: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/43/10/e5/4310e5a15d50529f7b3447244c9198bd.jpghttps://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/61xbH8jutwL._UX342_.jpg

Frankly, he had absolutely no idea what this holiday was. He just knew there were twinkling lights, lots of food, presents for everyone, and he was loving every bit of the festivities (and dragging poor Hankles along with him).

Bringing goodies for everyone:

http://www.partyhouseliquors.com/wp-content/uploads/Stolichnaya-Vodka1.jpg A case of Stoli vodka for the human pin cushion/punching bag.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/84/aa/e1/84aae1383d1cee894d349fde87f9e75f.jpg An assortment of fine wines for the cowardly Nighteater.

http://lloydschicago.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/whiskeys-1.jpg An assortment of whisky for the bitchy Nighteater.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/5b/e1/ab/5be1abfd2f37addb311a2de1b366d376.jpg And a specialized wine goblet (with luxury built in straw) for the blimpy one.

https://whydyoueatthat.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/merry-christmas-day22.jpg He also brought a bunch of Christmas cookies for everyone.

Presents!!

Keirra:

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/9e/48/69/9e48691d9f29f73fddb48787d77b23ed.jpg An owl onesie! (Though known for their intelligence....he assumed her liking of the big eyed birds were for the ability to swivel her head around. Though from recent reports....perhaps they simply had things in common. Just....hold the pea soup, please.)

Zver:

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/2d/cd/f9/2dcdf9dfd625212afb8c002330a77ce4.jpg A koala onesie! (Though the constantly being drunk makes sense, he now wonders what the fellow Cold Harborian does in his spare time....they are quite the vicious creatures.)

Freya:

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/15/59/d9/1559d9ac14e50d8db65158a3b580608b.jpg A sloth onesie! (After reports informed him of her laying about reading magazines, or the other qualities of sloths that are often found memes of.....*ahem* He found the sloth to be a fitting spirit animal for the princess.)

Dorian:

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/22/90/71/229071acec0328f2672aaf0b2c9da59e.jpg A....hotdog onesie! (For being quite the wienie in all aspects.....or perhaps the Nighteater Lord just wants to see if Keirra will try to eat him. It's undetermined.)

Nasya:

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/18/fd/57/18fd578a4281ed30e386bb473b870588.jpg A unicorn onesie! (How he knew of Nasya is undetermined as well, but that didn't mean he'd forget a gift recipient! And what little girl doesn't like unicorns" He guessed!)

Boulder:

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/a6/f6/46/a6f646e05f3406e70d96b150ed14ecb6.jpg A panda onesie! (Though quite a ways from being born, that doesn't mean the devil spawn shouldn't get a Christmas Present! Or maybe it was just too cute for Gabe to pass up.)

Even Zim gets one!!!

http://www.lifewithdogs.tv/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/article-2238704-16374E0F000005DC-409_634x630-590x586.jpg (Gabe just really wanted to see them wrestle a onesie on her.)

Freya Scarpello

Date: 2016-12-27 04:40 EST
Freya's contribution to the whole Christmas idea. She wasn't totally on board with it to begin with it, but Dorian's efforts did manage to bring her some spirit. ...this is what came of it. For Dorian: http://bowhuntingadvice.com/fakebow/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/Crossbow.jpg "Merry Christmas, don't get dead. Love, Freya."

For Zver: https://www.gunsamerica.com/UserImages/167412/993363543/wm_6852769.jpg "Safe for the baby, tough on Keirra."

http://cdn.autom.com/images/products/WC607_500_537.jpg "But just in case....Merry Christmas. Freya."

For Hank: http://www.masterbip.cl/desarrollo/gorritosdelana/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/canasto-lanas-palillos-300x232.png "Merry Christmas, Frey."

For Gabe: https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/41ZBS66oLWL._SY300_.jpg "Not that I'd know...Merry Christmas or something....Freya."

For Keirra: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/4a/f2/c1/4af2c1b2a1edc5f40ef05c52ed425bab.jpg "I almost got you a muzzle, love Frey."

Keirra Owens

Date: 2016-12-27 05:19 EST
For Freya:

http://www.furnituredepot.com/cachedimages/6/642eb91d5a656cc6c2a2aca0d5101ddb.image.1238x1024.jpg

"Freya, I got you a dad chair. So that when you sit on your ass, you can at least do it in style now. Love Ko."

Hank

Date: 2016-12-27 06:14 EST
For Freya:

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/61EPZz5K1-L._SL256_.jpghttps://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/0e/6c/fd/0e6cfd3e43424e4a5088259680f78f9c.jpg A new pair of boots with a hidden dagger. For self defense.

For Gabe: http://casiberia.com/img/prod/2x/sd12751.jpg An octopus cane with a hidden blade inside. Also for self defense.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/1d/a5/09/1da509a2e30266717f512bf6c8f275ce.jpg Hand knitted by Hank with love.

For Zver: http://www.finecraftguild.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/slouchy_men_hat_free_pattern_Tinson.jpg

For Keirra: https://static.artfire.com/uploads/product/2/682/3682/5303682/5303682/large/hand_knit_hat_-_chunky_wool_hat_in_deep_purple_41852d82.jpeg

For Dorian: http://static.knittingparadise.com/upload/2013/1/5/1357412295757-man_s_hat.jpg "Trusting you to protect her when I'm not around, we'll make a knight of you yet."

Keirra Owens

Date: 2016-12-29 01:45 EST
For Saila: http://www.writerscafe.org/uploads/stories/56d6d981f15976d222351aac4ad3978f.jpg

An assortment of colorful panties--a ridiculous amount, really... Upon closer inspection, she might take note that she owned most of them. "Thought you might be running low. --Love, Ko."

Keirra Owens

Date: 2016-12-29 02:43 EST
For Craig, Keirra went all out. Whether she actually paid for it is a mystery, but she did acquire a steampunk style guitar for the man. "It's a gift for both of us, I expect you to play for me and the baby whenever we can't sleep. Love you. Keirra~" https://letmebefrankie.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/buddy-blaze-generator-steampunk.jpg

Dorian Vandeviere

Date: 2016-12-29 16:16 EST
The first of the plethora of gifts given was a conjoined gift for both Zver and Ko before they received their separate gifts:

An entire arsenal of Nerf Guns:

http://i.imgur.com/xXSTbeB.jpg https://i.ytimg.com/vi/i_nYCqxFGl0/maxresdefault.jpg http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-rOCFtivYEIA/UXaFBv9nF3I/AAAAAAAAAJ0/IuDYaUl4aZ0/s1600/IMG_0432.JPG https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/a7/c8/09/a7c809f75b7df0da3299f6d1b69cca3d.jpg

"Because I love you both and decided to invest in the best marriage therapy for you. A healthier alternative to fighting with each other: have some fun! With all the love in the world, Dorian."

Dorian Vandeviere

Date: 2016-12-29 17:04 EST
For Keirra:

Because he always loves going clothes shopping for his bestie, instead of going ridiculously fancy, he played it smart and went for comfortable for the preggo rogue:

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/a7/a4/ae/a7a4ae61dc3acb1b6f7b46a9302bb4e4.jpghttps://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/cd/ba/dc/cdbadcba98658f276f2bf5674408af05.jpghttps://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/bf/e3/8d/bfe38d51c9bb3999b8185257a3e69f96.jpghttps://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/1e/cd/c6/1ecdc67e5ba99be7ffbff18458425629.jpg https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/fc/5f/47/fc5f476c480a8b903e20c1ea072d705c.jpghttps://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/fe/b6/7d/feb67d18f3d82437580fa4369bdb3cbb.jpghttps://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/be/76/e2/be76e2252a978971838af514b07cbdb3.jpghttps://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/3f/b0/8c/3fb08cca51b049abe65517385f5455cd.jpg

Who said comfy can't be fashionable" Even when she feels pudgy, he knows how to make her feel good:

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/bd/87/b2/bd87b2100092d2c3136ae7153059fd6e.jpghttps://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/18/56/56/185656f0658404b2a5b7cb487a7f070a.jpghttps://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/5c/7c/78/5c7c781c360ad17e26416f0f0edfd901.jpghttps://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/23/9f/c0/239fc0e355e35db56226af3b0c844d16.jpg https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/5a/fb/a3/5afba3701f80599df81e744b49986cdf.jpghttps://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/a5/e9/7c/a5e97ce7ab69f86661599db5b875c30a.jpghttps://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/ce/71/1b/ce711b7e843364c4f72a3f3040d9abd8.jpg

And seriously, who doesn't love boots" (Ko was totally right.) Dropping the heels a bit lower and thicker for her comfort and balance:

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/3c/91/6d/3c916dd80ae346391e44abbc72362931.jpghttps://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/e3/36/f0/e336f0fdf2649b5bc8e65b6c0bd000e0.jpg

More boots, but with pockets! For his favorite little thieving rogue:

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/0e/1b/93/0e1b93bb5a098f334877fa9ec2fe6416.jpghttps://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/f5/0a/c2/f50ac2ecb8890cf613a8176031089f72.jpg

Some bling accessories, because he's very thorough:

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/5e/1d/84/5e1d84e87bd3123dbb834ef9daaa9007.jpghttps://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/29/1b/2d/291b2d7bad9228fb2c41e7e2f749790a.jpg

And lastly, going into the living room she'd find her very own chair for after she was done tormenting Zver, stealing all the things and being exhausted from being too awesome....her very own chair that no one is allowed to sit in, indicated by the excessive amount of her favorite animal:

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/59/34/5e/59345ea4651845d1a5692433cbad00d6.jpg

On top of her mountain of presents was a note written in that almost too delicate, slanted cursive that was....well, femininely suiting for the flamboyant Nighteater:

"To my best friend, my favorite human and the one that couldn't get rid of me even if she tried....I love you. -Dorian."

Dorian Vandeviere

Date: 2016-12-29 17:33 EST
For Frey:

Did she think he wouldn't get something for her too?

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/f0/04/8a/f0048a4cb5a35e8273531dc184d65115.jpghttps://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/49/ec/3e/49ec3e428363596412de4dfb0577bc26.jpg

And, Mama knew Daddy needed her coffee in the morning to handle the crazy household....it only seemed fitting at this point.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/ed/12/f2/ed12f2d39f0f3bf7247f0a7ac221a76a.jpg

Since she seemed to love reading so much, he invested in something that might last her a bit longer and be a bit more stimulating to the mind. Earth had a plethora of the greatest stories, he collected together his own personal favorites to give a go.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/f1/ed/0c/f1ed0c1c591cd6e75da5cfdf9a70f08d.jpg

http://dramatica.com/resources/onesheets/to-kill-a-mockingbird-one-sheet.jpghttps://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51RByRz03GL._SX319_BO1,204,203,200_.jpghttps://www.homework-online.com/assets/the-catcher-in-the-rye-cover-6c8dab7d64192277315d6bf528d6f7b2.jpghttps://hauntedhearts.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/wuthering-heights.jpghttp://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/61JPcCSRAXL.jpghttps://artsandculturereviews.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/top-10-best-seller-books-1-a-tale-of-two-cities-by-charles-dickens.jpg http://greatexpectationsnovel.weebly.com/uploads/2/3/0/1/2301863/936347_orig.jpghttps://dailylit.com/media/images/covers/182.jpghttps://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/A1h5yrVJ%2BIL.jpghttp://www.arlenesanders.com/images/Pix_Book_Of_Mice_and_Men.jpghttps://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/516VrF%2BGvJL.jpghttp://2.bp.blogspot.com/_GaNPg9M10nU/S9YJ9uF75kI/AAAAAAAAArw/wCU0Jt46LXk/s1600/Macbeth+book.jpg (Just to name a few.)

With a note: "You'll never find stories like these in Cold Harbor. Though they may be of a weaker race, humans are visionaries when it comes to literature. I hope you like these as much as I did. Should you run out and want more, let me know. -Love, Dorian."

Dorian Vandeviere

Date: 2016-12-29 18:12 EST
For Zver:

Since the man still had a few more weeks to go before his leg was healed and was frequently pissing off his wife, he got him something to pass some time with.

https://s1.thcdn.com/productimg/600/600/10848357-1164343855240025.jpg

And plenty of games to choose from.

https://nintendo3dsgamesfreegames.files.wordpress.com/2014/10/nintendo-3ds-games-free-1.jpg

Remembering once that Zver liked Breaking Bad, he found this:

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/f0/9a/58/f09a58e019e0aab81b3c2ed145d793b4.jpg

And last but not least....the best card came for the worst people. And every set he could find:

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/cc/94/93/cc9493118df3af408a4c069a613cf2db.jpg

Even....this one....Knowing the Russian was also into politics:

http://cdn0.dailydot.com/cache/e8/2a/e82a69ae2f1b7cfa0a5f5f98f293917a.jpg

Note: "I refuse to enable your obsessions with guns, here's a better way to spend your time. Also, I may regret this...but I'm curious to see what you come up with with that card game. -Love, Dorian."

Dorian Vandeviere

Date: 2016-12-29 18:24 EST
For Nasya:

There was a little girl that needed spoiling from Uncle Dorian! So he did....

Most of the gifts went together for a theme:

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/65/99/10/659910b3b72bbdf9ba1671b324352df4.jpg https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/0f/a3/0b/0fa30b14ac446c57c0fd5847542cb18b.jpg

And of course, outfits. Obnoxiously girly but he thought she was a princess.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/da/33/9e/da339e659f540e3805d40c03c7900cbf.jpghttps://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/58/ed/ca/58edca9e6449f6ae12472241328aa95e.jpg https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/8d/a7/5d/8da75d70b0ab63d8d7aefe33d240b075.jpghttps://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/27/65/d4/2765d4106a1bb738a435a40be342e5c1.jpg

And though she was a bit young, he couldn't resist the adorable doll house. (He took out anything too small and put them aside for when she's older, no choking hazards!)

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/b5/bd/78/b5bd789298b15e4c7bf24ebab039f9b3.jpg

A note (that Ko will have to read for her):

"Every princess deserves her own kingdom, sweetheart. We can have a tea party any time you want. (And I'll make cookies.) By the way, I got Mommy a dress to wear too. Love, Uncle Dorian."

Dorian Vandeviere

Date: 2016-12-29 18:41 EST
For Zim:

There was no present under the Christmas tree for her....

Because what he got her, he simply couldn't wrap!

When the others were either sleeping, out of the house, or any time he could find in secrecy, he fixed up one of the many rooms in the large house for the wolf to have her very own space to do as she pleased, even if she seemed to be shoved up Ko's ass.

http://livingspace.com.ua/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/VIC.COT_.RED_BEDROOM_small2.jpg

There was a note left on the pillow, written in Russian: "Since you seem to love painting the house red so much, here's your very own red room. I hope you like it. If not, we can always do more shopping. Love, Dorian."

Dorian Vandeviere

Date: 2016-12-29 18:53 EST
Last but not least...

He even got something for Jill.

An entire outfit that you'd likely only find in Cold Harbor (unique and from a place he hopes she'll never go to...)

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/64/f8/30/64f830b86954b5cd8628e93b3673d84a.jpg

And to top it off (the jacket/cloak only), what better for a Time Mage than a mage-y cloak?

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/92/24/9b/92249ba37b103692630b0c92062c40d7.jpghttps://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/d9/c9/d9/d9c9d9d15aa0ef01f74c1bbe72a77dc2.jpghttps://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/f1/23/b0/f123b09d4a87fae4678f4c8448eed34a.jpg

Note: "Every mage needs her uniform. I got this years ago from a place I hope you'll never see. I had it tailored for your size. I hope it suits you well. Love, Dorian."

Zver

Date: 2016-12-29 19:23 EST
Frankly, he thought that him not being enough the usual ass**** he normally was would be enough of a present....But he still got those pricks something anyways. He wasn't all that great at gift giving, to be honest.

Dorian:

A new fire extinguisher since Ko burned up his kitchen.

http://ll-us-i5.wal.co/dfw/dce07b8c-d80c/k2-_7c165980-6918-4fbe-b6b0-f36632d8725f.v1.jpg-66817576a9dcaec64b8880a152d9a41de883a939-optim-450x450.jpg

Since the Nighteater was all into fancy crap, he got him a spiffy liquor set.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/61/f9/5b/61f95b43fee89a4767ef97ad9d006992.jpg

And apparently on the same wave length as the Nighteater on the whole Nerf thing:

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/05/b3/8b/05b38b207c116a93cf71302a3d5afbca.jpg

Note: "Practice with these before you lop your fucking arm off with the real ones. -Zver"



Keirra:

He contemplated wrapping himself and putting a bow on his dick, but he figured that would get him pushed down the stairs again.

After the Kitchen Disaster of 2016, he decided to start off slow with her lessons:

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/50/07/a5/5007a5a493fbb7a4fdce12868ec1468c.jpg

A sapphire and black diamond necklace of an owl:

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/ec/86/c3/ec86c3344c3e6a1e6c50f6971c6eff3f.jpg

And lastly, he handed her an envelope that had his note in it and a few other items:

http://cf.ltkcdn.net/charity/images/std/143351-401x299-Airline-tickets.jpg https://media.cntraveler.com/photos/545bfa4b35a91eee7e7965be/master/pass/ombudsman-name-change.jpg

"There's no date on the tickets, so we can go anytime. Honeymoon, after Boulder's born, whatever you want. But they're tickets to Moscow. I'd say a vacation is in order. Love you, Sugar Puss. Zver

P.S. You can try to kill me any day, it's still worth it."

Zver

Date: 2016-12-29 20:14 EST
Nasya:

Yes, he even got his....step....daughter"....something" Frankly, he didn't have the slightest friggin' clue what to get a non-monstrous little girl. The only ones he knew were Lenore and Mary and both were creepy little dead kids. With Hex's help, this is what he came up with.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/d9/f9/fd/d9f9fdf3305df3b24046bb945e8f172e.jpg

Note: "You don't really know me and you're too young to even read this. But....

Hi. Merry Christmas. -Zver"

Zim:

A customized metallic pale blue gun set with matching knives. Like psycho Russian dad, like psycho Russian pup.

http://www.dlsports.com/signature_firearms_1911/two_pistols_in_case_2007_06_19_med.jpg

"For my weird wolf kid, we don't spend enough time together these days. So we've got a date at the shooting range coming up, just us I promise. And you're coming to Russia with us when we go. Ya lyublyu tebya (I love you), Zver."

(Even if she is a traitor, he loves that fuzzball.)

Freya:

Because he's still a douche (but at least it's orthopedic and top grade!):

http://www.tenbestreview.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/1.-Aylio-Coccyx-Orthopedic.jpg

Chick knuckles (the stones aren't real but it's titanium steel, no rust and no bending):

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/f0/41/2c/f0412c25259221ae2cb9303da720b5a5.jpg

Note: "Cush for the tush and something to fuck some shit up with when you get your nose out of that fucking magazine. In style. Break some faces, bitch. -Zver"

Zver

Date: 2016-12-29 20:28 EST
For Charlie:

They've been best friends for years, of course he got her something. But what do you get someone who's life revolves around guns (that they make themselves, making it pointless to buy them anything for it) and weed (when they get the good shit already). Pizza" A new bong" Nah.

He got that bitch a small gun gallery that looked like a mini fridge. For conspicuous reasons.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/8d/30/a5/8d30a5dde2d22af2d0db229793065da7.jpg

Note: "Yo, Gun Guru. Showcase your pieces with this shit. Merry F***assmas. Zver."

Jill:

Setting aside the fact they'd been friends for eons now, even though he knew Abby was the one that brought him back with the phoenix feather....he knew better than to not think Jill had her little claws in it too. He couldn't not get her something.

http://blog.dk.sg/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/razer_blade_gaming_laptop_04.jpg

Note: "I'm sure you can set aside some time to get your game on. And yes, that's a fucking challenge. -Zver."