((Author Warning: The following post is rated MA!! Foul language spouts outta Howe's mouth like water does a fountain.))

From the private notes of Mister Howe:

02.23.11 (Earth date) A representative from C.O.P.E. met with me today. He offered me a hefty token in exchange for more stock. Of course they are only interested in the purist of souls from my stockyard of Rhy"Din whores and brats. I am tempted, I must admit. I'll have to undercut my other "allies", (I snicker as I write that), in order to make the exchange. It's not like they are stepping up and offering me power greater or at least equal to what those bastards Lankyn and DeMuer stole from me. But, messing with primordials has never been an easy contract. They have so many issues, and although weakened by their mythic status their powers seem to wan and swell much like the damn seasons. One can never tell when they are bluffing or can pack one hell of a punch! I will have to consider my next move carefully.

03.14.11 There was an' "incident' today. I was fairly certain that had not Dewey stepped in when he did Cheatham would have attacked me outright. I think he suspects what I am up to. Thank goodness the old bastard Dewey's still in the dark! Or perhaps Lankyn's tricks have left the oldster limp and powerless"! That works quite well for me! Dewey, limp and powerless, heh, I like that, a lot!

On the up side, there have been no repercussions as of yet from undercutting my other "clients" in order to fulfill the contract with the C.O.P.E.

Tomorrow I have a meeting with one of the Fangs of Bhaal. If only it was the most enticing Nocent or the delicious Lady Dracina! Alas, it is someone known as "Sam". It shall be interesting to learn what it is the cabal requires of me at this time. Perhaps I can entice them to join forces with me in my endeavor to rid Rhy"Din of the morose masses" Somehow I doubt it; they seem rather focused on the Scathachian Bitches. I myself do not see the worth of such an investment. Nothing but a bunch of wild, dirty-footed, female do-gooders; kill "em all and let their god sort "em out I say!

03.17.11 Wraithburn has refused to meet with me! I doubt he has what the Fang wanted anyway. He's all pomp and bullsh*t. For a primordial he sure has his head notched high!

What"! Is he clueless as to who's been in charge for the last several millenniums"!

Apparently, otherwise he'd have bent over backwards and kissed my a** to appease me! It doesn't matter; I have other avenues I can use to acquire what the Fang wants. I have to admit I'm curious as to what she plans to do with the things" She was rather tight lipped and closed however. I got nothing off of her. Nothing!

The Bitch.

I can't help but consider that this may give me the chance to earn more favor with the Fangs. And maybe, just maybe I can find other fabulous fare than what has been requested" Hmm' I wonder. Will this entice the luscious Nocent and the delicious Dracina into meeting with me again? I would so enjoy spending time with both or either of them. So tasty and like-minded are they' I can't say the same about this latest Fang. Although she holds some beauty, her despise of males was evident and her attitude was something less than desirable. But' I will endeavor to please her nevertheless on the off chance it wins me further attention from the others. Yes, this Samara may be a bit sharp and pointy, but her sisters in the cabal far outweigh any and all of her personal unpleasantness.

I can hold on to hope" and my very vivid imagination!

3.27.11 Mab is pressing for more. More, more, more! That bitch is insatiable! She wants this she wants that! She wants my attention, and then a second later she doesn't. Now she thinks she wants high tech weapons. What the hell are a bunch of savage elves gonna do with high tech jack sh*t anyway, that's what I wanna know! A little iron and they are cowering in the f*ck*ng corner. Yeah, that's right. There's a reason "fairy' is a derogative term and it isn't about being homosexual either! Stupid humans such short life spans and memories.

So now, she wants me to find her what"! High tech that miraculously will work where none has before"! The bitch is outta her mind. But I shouldn't complain because it makes her easier for me to manipulate. Yes, she is going to give me what I want and she isn't even going to know she's doing it.

And she calls herself a god. Yeah, and I'm Peter Pan. Ha!

4.12.11 Trouble is stewing. One of Kali's minions found me today at our Marketplace offices. Just appeared outta nowhere, pretty as ya please! Like we'd never agreed to keep things on the down-low??! What would have happened if Dewey or Cheatham had caught scent of the minion! One can't keep a secret if the secret keeps popping up at the most inconvenient times and places! Hot damn, I am gonna have to contact that Hindu bitch and give her a piece of my mind! Just because she's not been relegated to mythos doesn't mean she can butt-in whenever her little black heart desires!

Her minion brought news of Kali's anger at being short-changed. I reminded the minion that as of yet I have received nothing in exchange for my product. Neither money nor power! How f*cking dare they presume to dictate to me when they haven't come through on their side of the bargain, not even a jot! With a wave of a hand the minion slammed me into the large paned glass window and let me dangle there like a bug!

I am cursed by this physical sh*tbag of a body!!!! But soon, very soon, that too shall change and I will be the one tossing them around like rag dolls!

I am gonna make that bitch and her bratling horde pay for this insult, and I am gonna love every second of it!!!

From the journal of Mab's most esteemed General Camthalion Anwamane:

"It's been ten days of hard riding and we have only just found our way into the Mountains of Aiwvenlee. It will take another week on the backs of our already fatigued mounts to reach our destination. We are running out of places to look. One would think that she would recall where she'd placed the Oberon's prison since she lays claim to its creation. Except, she is changed since her reappearance.

Some whisper of madness. It is my firm belief she's always been a bit insane, but I agree that something is off with her these days. She is missing chunks of her memory and her power diminishes with distance. I cannot remember when last I felt so free to have my own thoughts, my own feelings, not those stirred by her whims and demands.

I find myself of late dreaming of another. Longing for her embrace, to feel her hand caressing, for the taste of her lips on mine, to return to the life we once shared. The dreams we had! A family we could call ours, away from the politics of the courts, away from the machinations of the elders. Then I awake and realize the futility of such dreams. Even now my true love lies in a prison of Mab's creation, caught like a trapped animal, a mere shadow of herself, for the Crone's sole amusement.

Why did H'll"n" come to Rhy"Din"

If I could but think straight when I am there! I could free H'll"n". I could declare my undying love for her and we could run away together, reclaim what we once had!! Start anew....

Or is it too late" She did come upon me whilst I slept, riding in the Hag....was it her goal to suck my life away' Has she come to hate me as much as she once loved me" Would she see me dead and rotting without reprieve"

If only I could talk with her, explain how I feel, what my heart and soul desire! But after all this time would she listen" I am plagued by doubt. I fear my return to the lair of the Crone where I am nothing more than a puppet pulled by her vicious, self-satisfying strings!

Being ensnared by Mab has cost me everything!!!

Perhaps I should hinder this search' Half of Mab is better than the whole!"

"Where love rules, there is no will to power; and where power predominates, there love is lacking. The one is the shadow of the other." - Carl Jung

"I know why I married her. She is one of the most stunning of women I've ever known. Not merely because of her beauty, it enhances the whole, but it is not the whole. When first I met her there was innocence in her eyes. And betrayal. A child who had been stolen from her promised Fate. I saw in her all that we Above have never known. I wanted to protect the innocence and wash away the pain. I knew even then I would never be able to accomplish either.

It wasn't until coming to Rhy"Din that I saw a potential for a shared path between us. Until that time I was caught in my world and her ever searching for hers kept us apart. In Rhy"Din none of that mattered. We were in a sense free to love, free to be together. Free to walk a path that had been impossible in our pasts.

I won't deny there have been rough periods. I have yet to see any relationship that doesn't have such bumps along the road. With each new challenge we've been able to grow stronger and more together.

Of all the women I have ever known Sun is the only one that has accepted me as I truly am. She sees inside of me; she's seen the best of me and she's witnessed the worst. Not once as she used her love as a weapon.

When she left seven years ago, I thought it would be a few weeks, perhaps months, never expected it to turn into years. As the time of Mab's war neared and there was still no sign from her, no contact, I knew I needed to find her. I have to make sure that Mab does not lay hands on those most precious to me. She will make them suffer, as she has not been able to make me.

This is the monster my heart has created.

I made Mab into the horror she is today and I shall pay for eternity for the transgression. I could lament that had I known what would come then I would have rethought my actions. There were warnings, wise men with wagging tongues, Brothers with whispers of caution, and prophets who foretold a bleak but distant future filled with battle and blood. I laughed at them all, so sure I was of my new direction. So sure I was that this was my destined path " this is what God called upon me to do. I was righteous in my pursuit of my Duty, unshakable in my belief.

H'll"n" understood. She was the first to truly capture my heart and the first to offer me the solace of pure love. She was like rain to my desiccated soul, filling me up with her gifts of joy and laughter. H'll"n" was everything Mab wasn't. She saw the future that I wanted to create. Mab could never understand that. She didn't really want to. Mab only wanted the power, the status, the control. Sun didn't care about all that nonsense. She loves without boundaries; she gives without expectation. To her, love is as pure as the girl she once was, untainted by the hardships, the atrocities to which she's been subjected.

Sun is the rarest among us; a pure soul untainted by the monster she's been made into.

As I step out of the portal, I cannot believe my eyes. Before me lies a desert wasteland. Sand stretches for miles upon endless miles, broken only by beribboned dunes shaped by the hand of the mighty winds. The sun beats unmercifully down upon the desolate landscape, a mighty burning furnace.

I don't understand why my wife would wander here. This is the last place her kind would ever wish to be caught; of this I can be most certain. Staring out over the badlands I catch her song, light as it is, distant but here. I'm in the right place. But for all that is Holy, I can't puzzle out the why of it.

Destiny is a funny thing. Today it directs me to tackle the desert to reclaim my missing bride.?

Revenge converts a little right into a great wrong. German proverb

"The days seem endless; empty, dull. I wait hopeful that my Star will fall again soon. Every night, I gaze up into the endless star-studded sky and ponder which one is she" When will she return" The days stretch into oblivion but each night is an eternity in itself.

What ambition I once had has fled me. What I prized has lost all sheen. I am lonely, empty and adrift. I have grown to hate myself for acts I cannot undo, for things I never should have done. Will they cost me my Starlight' Could they have already done so' What does she see from so high above"

What emotions are theses; from where do they spring and how do I stop them"

Wounds I cannot heal. Trespasses I cannot undo"

I wonder" will the kindnesses I have granted outweigh the evils I have committed" Will I be given the same compassion that those who are human have been gifted" Or will I stand judged as Brethren"

Months back, I released Rachel.

She sat speechless and vacant at the table one night. Not a quarrel or spiteful remark from her for weeks just that bleak, blank stare at the floor. She had become less and less responsive over our time together. Now she seemed more like an empty shell than a person. What fire she'd held had been extinguished. I could feel her soul slipping further and further away into oblivion where no soul should be left to wander.

Before the Star, I might have overlooked it. Perhaps turned a blind eye or been amused. My comforts outweighed hers didn't they' She was only a monkey. A thing for me to use and manipulate to suit my needs and desires.

The Star changed all that by opening something up inside of me. At least I think it was my Star" I don't like contemplating the alternative that I might be becoming one of the monkeys.

That night, the night I freed her, I sat at the table and watched Rachel. It was as if I saw her clearly for the first time. I felt her gloom like a shroud wrapping around me. Unfamiliar such reflections are to me, alien in scope and breadth. I lifted my fingers to my lips and passed them to her forehead without really thinking it over. I didn't want to consider the why, I just wanted to give her the peace she had craved and pleaded for so long. I didn't stop to consider the consequences.

What drove me to it' Compassion" Unlikely. Pity" Perhaps. I would like to say it was because I felt some kind of empathy for her, but if I am honest I must confess I doubt that. It is far more likely that I was afraid of what the Star would think of me. Forcing this unwanted servitude upon the already dead woman. Yes, Viki has a charitable soul, she never liked the enforced enslavement to begin with.

Her body fell limply into the soup she'd made for our dinner that night. Dead. Her soul" I don't know who laid claim to it. I buried her in the backyard, next to a wild rose bush. I think she liked the flowers. She spent long hours smelling them, tending to them though they had done fine without her attention. Why I even cared I couldn't say.

I am alone now.

(To Be Continued...)

As I continued watching Belial I saw past the beauty. I noted that she looked oddly tired and pale. I recall how it inflamed my anger that realization of her. How dare she, I had thought, because she wasn't cursed as I had been, no. She still retains the ability to flee from the physical at her whim. Yes, my hatred only grew stronger in those moments watching her unaware.

She seemed sad. I didn't care. I didn't want to. I refused to let any sentiment cloud my desire to reap my vengeance!

I waited until she slipped back inside then I hopped down from my perch as quickly as I was able, (due to restrictions of the physical I couldn't simply bound down to the street like I once had the luxury to do). I cursed her every step of the way right up to her front door.

In my mind the fist I used to pound upon the fragile wood of the door was pounding her to a pulp. The surge of adrenaline was sharp, unfamiliar, it made me feel invincible. Odd what human shells do to our psyche. The rush of chemicals is similar to drug induced euphoria. Intoxicating and thrilling, they practically sang through me.

When she opened the door I couldn't stop myself. I grabbed her around that pale, perfect throat and slammed her into the wall a full seven paces back from the doorway. A picture rattled then fell the glass covering it shattered much like I wanted her bones to. I tightened my grip, she was choking, couldn't breath. It felt exhilarating watching her struggle like a human, holding her life in my hand.

If only that were true"

Of all the creatures that have haunted and hounded me the most it was she! And I had her right where I thought I always wanted her.

I threw her away from me into another wall a few feet away. She hit it hard her body leaving an indention and cracking the drywall. More carnage to furniture and wall hangings but I was too wrapped up in the violence to pay such trivialities" any true attention. A few steps and I had her again about her throat. I shook her like a cat might a rat it's just caught for dinner. Those green eyes bulged, filling with tears as her hands flew to mine and she clawed at it weakly. Surely she had more of a fight in her I recall thinking at the time. But she wasn't fighting against me, no; instead she was attempting to speak. Her words were a sputtering sound lost without any breath to push them out of her.

I remember laughing. I recall the overwhelming sadness she telepathed to me but I was too quick for her! I didn't let her inside my head. I slammed down my mental barriers keeping that emotion and whatever words she was trying to convey out. I blocked it all like one might too bright sunlight. I wouldn't let anything stop me. I thought of all I had lost and this" thing under my hand was the cause. All I wanted was to destroy her! And I knew how easy it would be! Ruin her physical shell and that would send her screaming back down to Hell and to the first of my Brothers to betray me!

I slammed my fist into that face, over and over and over again, until blood flowed from her all over me and the sound of bones crunching were all I heard! It felt amazing! The give and tear of flesh under the hammer and might of my curled knuckles was like an elixir from Above.

Still not satisfied I threw her around like one might toss a ball. Into this wall then that. At one point she bounced off the wall and practically flew into another room from the force of my attentions. The sound of her hitting something inflexible made me feel buoyant. When I stepped into the room, she was lying still on the floor before a heavy oaken cupboard. She looked dead, broken, like a lifeless doll. I didn't care.

I snatched her back up and was about to toss her through the window when the voodoo witch appeared from somewhere out of the back of the house. The memory of everything but Belial under my bloody hands is foggy, hazy and unreal. The witch lifted her hands as if trying to ward me away. It was dreamlike, distant, indistinct. She was screaming at me in a language only she could make sense of; French, German, English, Spanish, like a mix-bred mutt.

I lifted my free hand to backhand the woman, I just wanted her to shut up and make her leave me alone. I wanted her to go away and let me do what I wanted to my most hated of enemies". If I did more damage than that I know I would have shrugged it off considered it what the bitch deserved for her profane behavior. Forsaking God for primordial ooze is punishable by death.

It was then that Belial reacted.

I thought she had given up. That maybe she even wanted me to destroy her, or send her back to Morningstar. But no! Perhaps it had been a ruse all along" Or her devotion to the primordial's slut woke her up" I may never know"

She laid her small hand on my shoulder and that was it. I felt my body light on fire with the surge of energy that spiked through me. It was like a million suns bursting inside of me. I fell to the floor. I vaguely recall a bloodied Belial flopping down beside me and then everything went dark. I had never known such energy before" but in that instance I knew the secret the three of them had been carrying.

Abominations!

The word holds so little meaning today. But there was a time when such beings were hunted to near extinction. We flooded the world to end them. She was beyond that now. She was beyond even my talents. All three of them are. What they had done was more blasphemous than brethren mating with humans!

I woke up I don't know how long later. It could have been hours or days. The sun was high in the sky. I was lying on my back in a WestEnd alley I wasn't familiar with. How I had gotten there or how long I had been I still don't know.

I had so many unasked questions. I wanted to know how, when, why, but there were no answers, not then and surely not now. Belial is likely to smite me down should I dare go near her or that voodoo bitch she seems to prize ever again. But I know. I know and although there is no one yet to tell I know their secret! And one day, she and her cohorts, the oh-so-sanctimonious Raphael and my traitorous daughter Sid will pay. Of this I am certain for I shall be the one to call them to task for their sacrilege, to this I swear! For I am the Hand of God, vengeance is and always will be mine!

My only hope is that somehow, someway my Star will find it in her heart to forgive me my Duties and understand my ambitions. Surely' I mean more to her than they' For now I kneel and pray to my Brother Michael. I hope he hears me and answers soon for this secret of theirs must be unveiled and properly punished."