Topic: Phantasm

Tasha Oberon · Date: 2007-06-10 19:35 EST

I try to swim beneath I try to keep awake But I, I can feel this narcolepsy slide Into another nightmare And there's a demon in my head who starts to play A nightmare tape loop of what went wrong yesterday And I hold my breath till it's more than I can take And I close my eyes and dream that I'm awake

Third Eye Blind - Narcolepsy

For most, the idea of sleep is something restful. A way to refresh and recharge with their dreams a natural order of snippets of impressions garnered through a day or the more fantastical of visions. For others, it's a need they can be reluctant to give in to, for they are plagued with Night terrors. Tasha was one that avoided sleep until she had no other choice but succumb to fatigue. Often collapsing with exhausting and in most cases could sleep so deeply her usual nocturnal visions were avoided. Such was not the case this time, and as the weight of rest sank upon her, she was dragged unwillingly into those old memories.

She saw a younger version of herself, cowering back in a corner as a tall figure loomed over her, the words loud and garbled, yet the smaller elf cringed, large tears falling down the wan face. The dreaming Tasha, fought against the images, but as always gets pulled in, now feeling the pain and the terror of the battered child. Looking up Tasha saw her Stepfather's face, wine flushed and red in his fury, the veins standing out in his neck. Only to realize that his boot rising, connecting into her side. Crying out she curled up into a tight ball, simply to small and frightened to fight back. Strong talon like hands swooped, attaching themselves to her arms and lifting her roughly, and there she dangled as a spew of words flew from him. "Insignificant! Worthless! Freak! Stupid! Pathetic! Hideous!" Every one of the insults cutting her soul deeply for it was a well-taught refrain of flaws.

Struggling to break free, Tasha had only aroused his anger even further and the grip became a burning agony, crushing against her delicate limbs, before the shaking begin. Fragile bones snapping from the force of his cruel hands, while that litany of words about how much shame she had brought to him for even being born. "Misfit! Fool! Idiot! " Enraged, her stepfather flung her across the room then, sending her crashing with a sickening thud against the wall and folding to the floor like a broken rag doll.

"Get up you worthless, pathetic wretch!" Cold, cutting, and harsh that demand.

Her head spun with the thoughts of a wounded child, and the dreamer's own mental anguish at remembering it. She had staggered to her feet at the barked command, the urge to flee impossibly strong, that she folded under that force and had attempted to run for the door on unsteady feet, only to be caught and yanked back her long silver hair. Screaming, the sound echoing in her head and filling the dreamer with terror as she watched it through the eyes of the tiny elf remembering the following mutilation. The Dreamer veered away from that recollection while snap shot image flickered before the sleeping mind. Blood, torture, a fire poker scorching tender skin, then silence immersed in deep, unrelenting darkness thick with her misery and pain. Cast off into the closet forgotten, but she had not made a sound having been far too broken to move or barely even breath when he eventually flung her from his sight.

Tasha Oberon · Date: 2007-06-10 19:36 EST

Don't say I'm out of touch With this rampant chaos - your reality I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge The nightmare I built my own world to escape

Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming Cannot cease for the fear of silent nights Oh, how I long for the deep sleep dreaming The goddess of imaginary light Evanescence - Imaginary

Fast Forward, another time, another day and the Dreamer whimpered, caught in the unrelenting claws of sleep. The tiny elf has been hiding that day. She had woken to the sounds of her Mother's hysterical, insane screams and fled in terror, knowing her stepfather's anger would soon direct itself at her as it usually did. Only to be found later by one of his Zombie puppets. She had fought, struggling to break free of the creature, but it was a newer addition and still had the strength of one of living. Mindlessly, it had dragged her frail frame back where she had been shoved into the dreaded library, there her stepfather already waiting and fuming.

Trembling, Tasha looked up at him from her kneeling position having fallen at the harsh push and flinched, seeing the flush of drink on his austere face and knew this was going to be bad for her. His words hissed over her, gaining volume with every syllable. "You wretched little beast! Your lesson was to have started hours ago and you think to hide" Hide from me" Tell me you horrible pathetic child, do you like dark places?"

She stammered out a "No" and he just gave her that cold dead smile that triggered terror in her. Scuttling back on her raw skinned knees as she saw his hand falling to the barbed whip he wore on his hip. With wide glassy violet eyes she saw him draw it forth, letting the strands uncoil the metallic tones ringing as they scattered over the wooden floor.

Up until then, the beatings had been mostly with angry fists or hard kicking boots, this was different and both the dreamer and the image of child she had been, shuddered in terror. Rage had sent him to using the poker that one time, but this scenario . . . this was something all together different. This was deliberate, premeditated.

The Dreamer remembered that day, only to well, for it had been the first of many to come. Panic filled her as her sleeping thoughts scrambled in denial, trying to force her self to wake. The child in that reoccurring memory only able to just stare with wide terrified, wounded eyes, completely paralyzed with horror and agony she knew was to come, but the dreamer wasn't willing to witness this again, oh no. . Tasha woke with a start, unsure if she had screamed or not, even though her throat was raw and dry. Her slight form just awash in shivers that always accompanied those memories. A vague hope she hadn't actually disturbed anyone was fleeting in her mind.

They were not dreams to her, but an ever-constant replay of events executed so long ago. Fumbling for the light, as the darkness only seemed to enhance the lingering sensation of that old horror. Another enduring effect as she had always been discarded, shunted away, the shame of her very existence buried. Locked in that hated black closet.

Those cursed tears flooded her dark violet eyes, another side effect Tasha hated, but knew she couldn't stop the flow. Instead, she just pulled up her legs, tangled within the dark purple cotton sleep shirt and buried her tangled silvery head against folded knees and let them fall as they would.

Talomar Longden · Date: 2007-06-27 23:54 EST

Count Talomar Longden sat in the dark behind the desk in his private study. His left thumb was pressed against his left temple; the same hand balanced a smoking cigar between the next two fingers as he brooded and pondered the events of the day. Charles had deposited a glass of fine port next to the Count's right hand before he was dismissed from service for the night.

Talomar was attempting to convince himself that he had brought Tasha Oberon to his castle only for her protection and because he was a friend of the family, but his mind seemed to be fighting a losing battle with the faultless arguments his heart was relentlessly putting forth. He had always admired her, but now he was feeling more than admiration. Why was he still thinking of her" Why did he not want to leave her room earlier this evening"

He just shook his head and took a sip of the port. Talomar, you'd be a fool to get involved with another woman. Give it up. He picked up the reports from his S.E.C.T.O.R. business headquarters down in the West End and went to work between puffs on the expensive cigar.

Nearly an hour later while still immersed in paperwork, he heard a scream from Tasha's room. He rose from his chair and was a blur of darkness heading toward her room. In an instant he was at her door and was about to barge in when he gave it a second thought. A gentleman should never enter a lady's room uninvited, and there was just enough "gentleman' within him to honor that custom.

Talomar placed his mouth to the door and asked loud enough to be heard inside, "Tasha. Are you alright' May I enter??

Tasha Oberon · Date: 2007-06-29 04:30 EST

Make me pretend Make me expect Things can go and come to pass Without trial or tribulation Let this life space and time Leave my body with permanent marks Faded scars and lines But not a single impression Of the things some do in the dark

Tracy Chapman - In The Dark

Tasha's head lifted at the sound of the knock and was instantly swiping at her face with small hands. Tears brushed away and only hoped they didn't spring back. Nothing could be done about her mottled face of course but the light in the room was pretty dim. Patting at her silvery hair, the bangs floated down into her still glistening eyes. Clearing her throat a bit, she took a deep breath. "Ah, come in Tal."

Talomar walked out of the shadows as if he had been on the inside of the door the entire time. The darkness of the room was no challenge, for his eyesight enabled him to see better in the dark than most mortals could see in the light of the day. The shadow that was Talomar slowly moved to the bed. He sensed no danger in the room and therefore assumed that it had been a dream. She had been crying, and that was something he felt deeply affecting him. "Tasha," he said with a voice that was soft, deep, and seemed to release a feeling of safety. "I'm here. All will be okay." He sat on her bed and reached out to touch her hand.

Her dainty hand fluttered for a moment, that lingering edge of nerves but then forced a quick smile upon her elfin features as she placed her fingers into his. "Oh, just a bad dream really. Sorry if I spooked you."

Tasha knew she had apparently screamed and would have winced, except she was trying to let on to much about how those night terrors disturbed her. She had hoped he didn't notice the signs of tear tracks on her pale cheeks. "I usually try and keep from having those by well, not sleeping much." Lips taking a wry turn as she regarded through the tangled veil of silvery bangs and just gave his hand a warm press. "I hope I didn't startled you to bad. Silly I know over some dream really. They always...Linger some but really I'm fine."

He listened to her downplay whatever nightmare she must have had. "There is nothing that is silly, my dear; and denying yourself sleep is no way to conquer these bad dreams." Both his hands took her hands and held them with gentle caresses. "Dreams are born out of the events of the day. Reoccurring bad dreams are born out of traumatic events. I think that sometime we should talk about these dreams, Tasha." He smiled in the darkness, but he was sure she could see his face. "I care for you, Tasha. I think you know that already. I want to help you in whatever way I can."

She felt so scattered as she peered into his handsome face. It took all she had to not start babbling, as she didn't think Talomar would know about that little character flaw and just took another breath. Looking down at their mingled fingers Tasha smiled, with wide violet eyes blinking to prevent the watering pot from starting again. "They really do come and go. Must be having an upsurge I guess. I mean I don't have them "all" the time, just well they get worse and then fade for a bit."

The small elf was trying not to squirm nervously, as this was something she tended to avoid sharing easily and suddenly glanced away, staring off towards the banked fire in the hearth across the room. Tasha's small nose crinkling a bit as a distant light touched her somber eyes. Her words almost introspective with the release of a quiet sigh. "Just bad, bad memories that haunt. So you're right about that. Seems the more I try to forget them, the more persistent they become."

He dropped his gaze and nodded. "It might help to talk about it, Tasha, but not now. Now would be best just to sleep. Would it help if I were to stay here with you?" He looked at her face to see her expression.

She hated feeling like this. The feeling of uncertainty warring upon her all to expressive features, one to say no to the offer and the other to say yes. Tasha had worked diligently to not appear weak anymore, but she was. Even now she wanted him to stay and nibbled for a moment on her lower lip, debating briefly then gave a slow nod of her head, silvery hair fluttering about her tear stained face. "Would you? I mean you wouldn't mind?"

He brought her hand to his lips and kissed them softly. "Of course not. If you like, I could just pull that chair," he pointed to the comfortable Queen Anne type chair in the corner, "over here to the bed. That way I'll be right here with you."

Dainty fingers curled a bit at the light touch of his lips against her chilled skin, as violet eyes swung towards the chair he motioned towards and she gave another nod. Shaking the silvery drift of hair from her piquant features she tried to smile, managing to affect a nearly bright expression at her efforts and peered at him curiously. Thinking he was just so considerate, and that made him even more appealing. "I'm not keeping you from anything am I" I mean I wouldn't mind the company, but well not if it's keeping you from anything important."

He was already bringing the chair to the bed as she spoke. He could have brought it to the bed without ever leaving the bed, but he didn't know if that would upset her further. "There is nothing I have to do." He paused and looked over to her as he set the chair right next to her large bed. "Besides, I was only thinking of you anyway." Talomar leaned over Tasha and fixed the blankets around her, practically tucking her in. "There, nothing is going to bother you now." He placed a soft kiss upon her lips and sat down in the chair.

Lips still tingling from that velvet soft kiss upon them she shifted about under the covers, just so she could look at him. Violet eyes twinkling a bit with a sudden rising of humor and her smile was quick to follow. One small hand rose to brush the veil of silvery bangs from her eyes so as not to mar her view. "Thank you Talomar. I really do appreciate this. Can't be easy taking on baby sitting me, since some claim I really am a mess sometimes."

Tasha Oberon · Date: 2007-06-29 04:31 EST

Take me as I am Someone you don't know Even in the Dark You may not be sure Take me while you can I can see you standing in the smoky entrance Giving up your good intentions Leave the shadows dancing

October Project - Take Me As I Am

He rested his head on the back of the chair and just looked at her as she spoke. She was so beautiful it was all he could do to not remove his clothes and climb under those covers with her. "It's not baby sitting. It's being with someone I care for very deeply, and that is never a chore, but always a delight." The words were a whisper that seemed to come right out of the shadows of the night.

Impulsive to the end, Tasha sat up quite suddenly and with a careless push of the covers she slipped from the bed and just padded over to him on her bare feet. She was naturally one to hug those she cared about, but over the past few years had become a bit more reserved in that action but this moment just seemed to call for it and just leaned towards Talomar to give him a warm embrace. Voice coming quietly when she finally spoke. "I care about you too Tal."

He was surprised to see her get out of bed. At first he thought she might have not liked the way he tucked the blankets around her, but when he saw her coming toward him, he wasn't sure what to think. Then she hugged him, and when she quietly spoke those soft words of caring, he hugged her tighter and pulled her onto his lap where he just held her close and slowly rocked her.

Cuddling up close against him, she tucked her head against his neck and another hug as slender arms curled about his neck. Tasha couldn't help the soft giggle that slipped from her as she relaxed against him and just brushed her fingers against his soft dark hair. She did have a fondness for cuddles, but rather was enjoying those from Talomar.

The Count lifted his hand and a blanket at the bottom of the bed flew to it. He wrapped the blanket around them both. He thought she might get cold, and although he seldom would get cold, the thin clothe shirt he was wearing would do nothing to keep her warm. "Perhaps if you just got tired again here in the safety of my arms." He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her cheek, then leaned his head against her.

Nuzzling a soft cheek against his shoulder Tasha smiled as she felt the warmth of the blanket enfolding then into a comfortable cocoon of warmth. Relaxing more she continued to play with a strand of dark hair, gently weaving about her fingers as large violet eyes started to drift, falling half closed. "I like this Tal."

"I like it also," he replied with a deep whisper against her ear. If anything, that was an understatement. He liked it very much; too much perhaps for someone who was recently divorced and had not planned on ever having another love-based relationship. He placed a kiss upon her forehead, "No one is going to hurt you again, Tasha, for they will have to go through me first." He grinned, "And no one goes through me." His hand began to caress her cheek, his fingers going back through her hair, stroking her softly over and over."

If anything she cuddled closer, tucking herself against him with a mild squirming before settling down. Tasha's violet eyes twinkling under her lashes as she peeked at him then a soft giggle escaped her lips. She was enjoying the stroke of his hand as it brushed back through the angel fine locks of her hair, not actually thinking about how unusual that was for her. Of course she wasn't actually willing to ponder upon the past right now, having pushed most of it to the back of her mind best she could. "Usually after a nightmare I am sort of maudlin. Funny, I don't feel that way right now. So you're already helping there, Tal."

Tasha Oberon · Date: 2007-06-29 04:32 EST

I keep moving to the distant sounds And visions of you drifting in and out Clouds mixing with the sand and the sea Sounds get carried on the ocean breeze

I still hear your voice from across the horizon And wasn't that you walking into the shadows?

Delerium - Just a Dream

He was wondering if this was wise; to be in Tasha's bedroom in the dark, with her sitting on his lap in only that violet nightgown. Feelings were stirring within him as he inhaled her fragrance and felt her body against him. "I'm glad this is helping, Tasha. I really want you to be able to relax here and get some good sleep." What he really wanted was to place her in that bed and climb in with her, but he still had a smidgen of willpower left.

Dainty fingers drifted into his hair, savoring the soft texture as she let her cheek move down to rest against Talomar's chest and smiled again. "I am relaxed. Doesn't matter where I am, I still have the dreams actually. Although, usually I don't have someone to cuddle with after." Her silvery head lifted suddenly and there was an impish cast to her elfin features as she smiled at him.

Talomar laughed, "Well, I must admit that I'm rather happy to hear that. If you had someone to cuddle with after each nightmare, I fear I'd be rather jealous!" He smiled a most handsome smile and placed a kiss on her nose. "On the other hand, since I'm the cuddler and you're the cuddlee, you are free to have as many of those dreadful dreams as you wish." Of course, he was just teasing, but the look and smile she was giving him was hard to resist.

A small hand rose, brushing along Talomar's lean cheek and she gazed at him, violet bright eyes seeming to be searching. She sensed no danger there, just sincere concern and that warmed her even more hence she leaned to brush a quick kiss to his lips. "Thanks for being cuddly then!"

He had never exactly been called 'cuddly' before, but since it got him a kiss, he didn't mind at all. He gave her a faint smile as he savored the lingering feel of her lips on his, like the fine finish of an excellent wine. "I'll be anything you need, Tasha. Or want." With that statement, he now brought his mouth very slowly, touching her chin with his fingers. He acted as if he were about to kiss her, bringing his lips to within a breath away from hers, then pulled back for a moment and smiled, eyes upon her lips, anticipation building. Then he brought his lips to hers again, once again pausing a breath away, feeling her need. His lips brushed hers slightly his lower lip pushing down her lower lip, warm breath being shared.

Tasha was trying to let the unsettling sensation those nightmares usually left upon her, fall away and Talomar was certainly a perfect distraction. That realization only made fact as he moved closer, almost kissing her. Feeling the washing of breath against her lips her violet eyes darkened slowly and she stilled, with a faint curling of delicate fingers already tangled in his dark hair. It was her that edged closer, pressing petal soft lips against his and shivered in surprise and delight.

A soft moan escaped from one or both of them as their lips moved against each other, feeling the soft wetness, nose against nose, breath mingling softly. The kiss quickly became more as Talomar opened his mouth slightly upon Tasha's, and his tongue flicked out and felt hers, and more soft moans were released.

A faint gasp of pleasure, a feeling she hadn't experienced in some time sweeping up over her and she trembled faintly with her lips parting against his and just eased closer. Small hands slipping from the stands of black hair to find balance against his shoulders, and her sign was mingling with his on another fall of warm breath.

Talomar slowly pulled back, his lips pulling on Tasha's lower lip until it finally released. He smiled lovingly and cupped her face in his hands. "I better put you back in bed, my sweet. Otherwise, I fear you'll never get rid of me." He gave her a wink, lifted her up, and placed her upon the bed. "I'll be in the next room," he said, pulling up her blankets. He then leaned over her with a hand on each side of her head. He bent down and kissed her - not a light kiss, but one that lingered and expressed what was growing inside him. His voice than became the softest whisper, "Breakfast together in the morning, and if you need me, I'll be here instantly."

Gazing up at him with wide violet eyes and then smiled as he leaned down over her and just brought her arms up to curl about his neck. Savoring the lingering press of lips and then giggled against him with a glint of eyes. "I think I will hold you to that promise. Both even."