I stand before, a road that will lead,
Into the unknown. At least unknown to me.
I want to go, but I'm paralysed with fear.
Fear of a choise, where the outcome isn't clear.
No, but still I go.
And I take, the first step of a million more. And I'll make mistakes I've never made before. But at least I'm moving forward, at least I'm moving forward. At least I'm moving forward.
I wonder if, the journey will be, Shorter as I hope, or much longer than it seems. But either way, I've made up my mind. I'm through feeling scared. I'm leaving that behind.
Hoobastank - "Moving Forward"
Pausing on the rise in the road, she gazed down at the modest brownstone house that sat back from the road. In the late afternoon sun, it looked much the same as she remembered. She knew about the bench swing on the back porch and the winding path that led towards the cliff and down into a small culvert that housed a private beach. A sudden rush memories that assailed her, was of one creaking step on the back steps and the soft peaceful sounds that sprung to life when the moon floated high into the sky. Behind the encircling trees there was a small cottage that now housed the caretaker and his family. Before her departure, it had been a quite place to just hide away and relax and take in the soft scents carried in the breeze of roses and lilacs. All mingled with the fresh scent of the nearby sea that protected the back of her old home.
It had been neglected when she had first discovered it, hidden by the overgrowth of the area. Lost amidst the thick brush and creeping vines of ivy and moss. A sad little forgotten house that she had instantly fallen in love with and spent a lot of time working on it's rebirth.
There was a look of sadness on her face as her gaze lingered there now. It had been a haven before her marriage and during it, for a lot of time had been spent there. Once it was obvious that he wasn't returning, she had closed it up and had walked away. By then, there wasn't any peace left and being so lost in her grief, she had fled to the arms of her birth family.
Urging her mount forward now, she started down the curving road towards the quiet and vacant building. Only the ghosts of memories long ago greeted her there, along with the sound of wind passing through the trees and soft jangle of bells from the lone wind chime up on the porch ahead.
It was all hers now. The land that had once held the keep of the guild, this home, and a few town homes within the city, was finally, legally her own. She had waited the allotted amount of time and with aid from Lord Corwyn of all people, she had acquired the divorce in absentia. "Abandonment' didn't make her terribly proud, but over the years and after the pain of it all had finally started to ease, she had finally accepted it. Part of her suspected he was really dead, but after finally facing the fact that the wondering would only drive her mad, she had finally, irrevocably given up.
No body had ever been found, she had never received a letter or any official document to a death, but even if he would suddenly re-appear, she was no longer the way she had been. Time and sadness had changed her. So many she loved lost. Gone from the world of the living and the impact upon her that it had worn her down to the very point that her innocence had also died.
Yet, it was truly time for her to set her past to rest. She needed to give it a ritualistic burial. It still had a hold on her and colored her views even now and she had come to the realization that it was self-destructive. She was a 'seeker" and now it was time for her to work that magic for her own ends. She had returned to find herself. Clich' or trite as that might be, it was here that all that she had been was shattered, so it was where she planned to start to put those very pieces back together. She was due some peace after all.
A sudden decision made, feeling the dragging pull of sorrow at her thoughts, she shook that off. No, she wouldn't allow that. Along with the pain, RhyDin had also held delight and joy. Unlike others she knew, she decided to remember the good times. She had already shed enough tears for all that she had lost. It truly was time to remember the joys of that time. It wasn't as easy but she didn't want to be caught in that net of sadness again. The point was to let that go and she was never one to shy away from the tough choices.
Slipping from the mount, she tossed the reigns around the post of the porch and just marched her way up the steps. The sharp stucco tap of boots rang loudly, echoing in her pointed ears then stopped. A push on the door and it swung open silently. No creak or moan to declare neglect. She was pleased to see that, having hired a Caretaker, but one never knew if they actually did the job you hired them for.
A twisting of the knob and the gaslights in the foyer slowly awoke, casting their warm glow down upon the oaken floors. It was a slow inspection, finding a layering of dust upon the various uncovered surfaces.
Hand moving up to drag the drift of moon white hair from her eyes, she smiled to herself and in a matter of minutes was armed with cleaning items and went to the task of shaking out this old dust collected. Once she had the house in order, she would go in search of some old friends. One overly long eared elf being a particular target she intended to re-acquaint herself with.
No, but still I go.
And I take, the first step of a million more. And I'll make mistakes I've never made before. But at least I'm moving forward, at least I'm moving forward. At least I'm moving forward.
I wonder if, the journey will be, Shorter as I hope, or much longer than it seems. But either way, I've made up my mind. I'm through feeling scared. I'm leaving that behind.
Hoobastank - "Moving Forward"
Pausing on the rise in the road, she gazed down at the modest brownstone house that sat back from the road. In the late afternoon sun, it looked much the same as she remembered. She knew about the bench swing on the back porch and the winding path that led towards the cliff and down into a small culvert that housed a private beach. A sudden rush memories that assailed her, was of one creaking step on the back steps and the soft peaceful sounds that sprung to life when the moon floated high into the sky. Behind the encircling trees there was a small cottage that now housed the caretaker and his family. Before her departure, it had been a quite place to just hide away and relax and take in the soft scents carried in the breeze of roses and lilacs. All mingled with the fresh scent of the nearby sea that protected the back of her old home.
It had been neglected when she had first discovered it, hidden by the overgrowth of the area. Lost amidst the thick brush and creeping vines of ivy and moss. A sad little forgotten house that she had instantly fallen in love with and spent a lot of time working on it's rebirth.
There was a look of sadness on her face as her gaze lingered there now. It had been a haven before her marriage and during it, for a lot of time had been spent there. Once it was obvious that he wasn't returning, she had closed it up and had walked away. By then, there wasn't any peace left and being so lost in her grief, she had fled to the arms of her birth family.
Urging her mount forward now, she started down the curving road towards the quiet and vacant building. Only the ghosts of memories long ago greeted her there, along with the sound of wind passing through the trees and soft jangle of bells from the lone wind chime up on the porch ahead.
It was all hers now. The land that had once held the keep of the guild, this home, and a few town homes within the city, was finally, legally her own. She had waited the allotted amount of time and with aid from Lord Corwyn of all people, she had acquired the divorce in absentia. "Abandonment' didn't make her terribly proud, but over the years and after the pain of it all had finally started to ease, she had finally accepted it. Part of her suspected he was really dead, but after finally facing the fact that the wondering would only drive her mad, she had finally, irrevocably given up.
No body had ever been found, she had never received a letter or any official document to a death, but even if he would suddenly re-appear, she was no longer the way she had been. Time and sadness had changed her. So many she loved lost. Gone from the world of the living and the impact upon her that it had worn her down to the very point that her innocence had also died.
Yet, it was truly time for her to set her past to rest. She needed to give it a ritualistic burial. It still had a hold on her and colored her views even now and she had come to the realization that it was self-destructive. She was a 'seeker" and now it was time for her to work that magic for her own ends. She had returned to find herself. Clich' or trite as that might be, it was here that all that she had been was shattered, so it was where she planned to start to put those very pieces back together. She was due some peace after all.
A sudden decision made, feeling the dragging pull of sorrow at her thoughts, she shook that off. No, she wouldn't allow that. Along with the pain, RhyDin had also held delight and joy. Unlike others she knew, she decided to remember the good times. She had already shed enough tears for all that she had lost. It truly was time to remember the joys of that time. It wasn't as easy but she didn't want to be caught in that net of sadness again. The point was to let that go and she was never one to shy away from the tough choices.
Slipping from the mount, she tossed the reigns around the post of the porch and just marched her way up the steps. The sharp stucco tap of boots rang loudly, echoing in her pointed ears then stopped. A push on the door and it swung open silently. No creak or moan to declare neglect. She was pleased to see that, having hired a Caretaker, but one never knew if they actually did the job you hired them for.
A twisting of the knob and the gaslights in the foyer slowly awoke, casting their warm glow down upon the oaken floors. It was a slow inspection, finding a layering of dust upon the various uncovered surfaces.
Hand moving up to drag the drift of moon white hair from her eyes, she smiled to herself and in a matter of minutes was armed with cleaning items and went to the task of shaking out this old dust collected. Once she had the house in order, she would go in search of some old friends. One overly long eared elf being a particular target she intended to re-acquaint herself with.