12.15

I decided to start keeping a log of things that are now happening in my life. Perhaps because I fear I'll wake up one morning and it'll all be taken away from me, maybe because eventually I will return home and would like to tell my family of the happens while I was away,or perhaps one day I will hear the pitter patter of little feet running through the estate and I will have someone to tell my story to.

Although, I doubt that will ever be possible. I wonder if Wolvie wants more children. Will he dismiss me if he finds out I cannot have them? Although I am curious to know if perhaps I can, now that my body seems to be able to repair itself, with the aid of Wolvie's blood. It would be quite an emotional thing to carry a child midterm and loose it if this whole experiment with his blood does not work out for me. I am not sure if I could go through that again. Its not that I wanted to have Draven's child before... we were kids ourselves but its hard to have something and then suddenly its taken away from me. I think that is what drove us apart. Although, I am happy because we were not in love... not the way I feel love now.

Speaking of which, Wolvie and I bonded a few nights ago. In semi-traditional vampiric ways. Although I did not turn him, we are still bonded. I wonder what everyone back home would have to say. I always was the wild child, the one stirring up trouble, they'd love this. Something scandalous for them to chew on. I can't help but smirk. I never thought I could enjoy life and get by without the familiar surroundings of my sect, but I think I am doing just fine. I like being free and being able to choose to do what I want and when. I am free to experiment the jagged edges of my life and walk the fine line of what is safe and what might kill me. I think back home the people worried to much about dying rather than focusing on living. If I died tomorrow I could say that I have truly experienced love and happiness. Wolvie has given me all of that in a matter of weeks. Even when death claims me, I know I will always see his blue tourmaline eyes watching over me as they always do now.

Wolvie and I have so many differences, but we are both so much alike. I feel like I'm looking into a mirror sometimes. We are both so stubborn, yet so passionate. So intense, yet so gentle. He balances me out and I him, I have found my life mate. I know that if I were to loose him, I could not go on living. Not to mention that I am completely dependant upon him and his blood. Without it I fear I will become weaker and will not be able to recover any longer from injury and those of the past will start to reappear. Wolvinator is a busy man, he cannot always be around. Soon I plan to start working on a machine that will cycle his blood for me. I will take it from him and run it through a machine that will work much like ones heart and keep it filtered and liquefied and nice and warm, oh how I hate stale blood. With this new technology I will always be able to have his blood fresh and available, even if we must be apart for any length of time. I wonder how he will feel about this.

I am still learning my way around the estate and also finding much trouble for myself, but Wolvie is always patient and kind with me, even when I break things or set off alarms. I am thankful for that, as I tend to be quite clumsy at times.

I think this is a good start to my new journal, for now I shall close, but I will return later. I have a feeling you and I will be good friends dearest pen and paper, you are really all I have aside from him. You two are the only ones I can spill my heart to.

1/5

Wow. I'm really bad at keeping a journal arn't I? It seems like everything just happens so fast these days. I barely have time to stop and think or stop and write. We had Christmas, Wolvie and I, right infront of our very own tree where we exchanged gifts and drank cocoa. He got me my very own cab... er.. er car. Yes a car thats what its called. And a beautiful song. I got him some little collectibles that have to do with something about Wars in the Stars or something like that, oh, and I got a new tattoo! I got Wolvie's dogtags inked around my neck. I love them and I am fairly certain he did too. But anyway, back to my car. I love it! I don't know how to use it yet, but I love riding in it while Wolvie drives me around. Its so pretty too and goes really fast!

There is a girl named Rose that wanted to join the collation, when she came to speak with Wolvie about that, I invited her to stay with us in our home. You see, Rose is going to have a child soon. I am very happy for her, but she had no where to stay and no one to care for her, so I'm going to do it. I'm going to care for Rose and try to give her and her child the life they deserve. Lord knows its a scary world out there, let alone trying to raise a child in it. Rose seems so sweet and we also seem to get along well. It will be very nice to have someone to spend time with.

I joined a Sorority of sorts this past week. Its mainly something I wanted to do to kill some time and get involved in something. It will be nice to have girl friends. Jade is in the Sorority. Perhaps I will ask Rose if she'd like to join. There is a frat house near by, maybe I can find a nice boy for Rose. I wonder if she is intersted in dating anyone?

Well Wolvie and I had a big fight, it was the most intense moment of my life, however it ended quite well and we are better than ever. He is the love of my life. He is my everything.

I think that is all for now, I've got to go get a room cleaned out and organized for Rose and another for when the baby comes.

I hate this thing. I am not a organized, record keeping kind of person! Eck, I feel all guilty when I don't write in it. But what the hell do girls write in these things anyway? Yeah, I love Wolvie, blah blah blah. Am I supposed to gush about that for hours on end?

Nothing really amazing ever happens to us. We just have normal days where we both work. Sometimes I go on my hunts. What it comes down to is we just do normal things. Like cook, clean, snuggle, those sorts of things. However, soon we will start my training. Of course I am already a skilled killing machine, but Wolvie says I could be so much more and with the skills I have, I could be unstoppable. We will be the ultimate defense against evil.

Okay, so that sounded so dorky, I'm laughing hysterically. But it is true.

That Gossip guy seems to totally love me. I secretly love him too. He thinks I'm great in pretty much every way. My attitude, my style, my look, everything. He keeps pointing out how lucky Wolvie is. I'd like to think both of us made out pretty lucky in finding eachother. We have so much fun with one another. He can keep up with me. The conversations and banter we get going is always hilarious. I can totally rip him to shreds and we both just laugh about it, because were both secretly jerks down deep. It works for us. Haha.

Anyway, Sera is still staying at the house. I feel bad for her. She hardly does anything and just keeps to herself, out of the way. She isn't in the way, not at all. Still no word on Brian. I'm getting quite worried for her. She is due any day now, I don't think she wants to have the baby without Brian by her side. She is very scared. I should go talk to her. I'll try to write more later.

*Aly*