It was almost midnight when Lelah had her facts straight...or at least as straight as they were going to be.? When she'd finally figured out what had happened in the back of that limo ? or at least what she thought had happened, since her memory was more than a little unreliable ? she stripped out of the sinful red dress, leaving it lay in a forgotten heap at the foot of her bed, and she took a long, hot shower, eventually ending up in a heap herself, tucked into the corner of the shower stall, crying inconsolably.? She'd have to tell Ori what she'd done.? She'd have to confess and let him make his decision about their future.? She couldn't even think of hiding it from him, though perhaps in the long run it would prove to be better for them both. When she'd drained the hot water, she left the shower and got dressed quickly, not even paying attention to the clothing she put on.? Then she went and ran a shaky finger over Ori's doorbell rock, working out what she'd say to him, how she'd say it. She opened her front door and looked out into the drive, carefully putting the rock back on the table next to the front door before going out onto her porch.

He was sitting in entrance room to his house, staring blindly at the fire, which crackled and leapt merrily, mocking him.? He hadn't moved from that chair in the past five hours, didn't even know what time it was.? The message from Jenny played over and over in his head, overshadowing even the magical words that spun in his brain.? It was as though the words themselves somehow felt his sadness and were subdued.? A phone message.? A phone message sent by her receptionist.? What a way to destroy someone's happiness.? The mental ping of the alarm spell startled him out of his repetitive thought-loop.? He twitched, looking reflexively at the door.? Should he even bother going to open it?? He knew who it had to be, no one else even knew about the doorbell rock.

A minute passed.? It was no use, he couldn't ignore it.? He stood, legs cramped and shaky from being so long in the same position.? He had to hear what she was going to say.? He reached out to open the door, noticed that his hand was shaking.? Stop it, Ori.? Stop it.? Get a damn handle on yourself.? He took a deep breath, let it out.? Then he pulled open the door.

She smiled reflexively when he appeared at the foot of the steps that led up to her house from the bricked driveway, though the smile slipped, faltered, then fell from her face entirely.? He looked awful, like he'd just lost his best friend...then she realized that maybe he had.? With this thought weighing her down, she slipped down the steps and approached him. When she was within five or so feet of him, she tried on another smile. "Ori," she said softly.? She swallowed with difficulty; her mouth was as dry as the sands of the great salt-pan Kavir desert.

"Lelah," he said.? He tried to make it neutral; simply her name.? He didn't think he'd managed, though.? He fell back on politeness, something easy to say.? "Come in, please."

She took a deep breath and stepped over the threshold into his house, noting that it was still the Persian riad he'd created for her.? She came to a halt in front of the fountain that had so delighted her the first time she'd seen it and crossed her arms over her chest, chewing at her bottom lip as she searched for something to say.

He turned, watching her stand in front of the fountain.? He remembered how fascinated she'd been the first time she saw that fountain.? It was a good memory.? Should he say something first?? What could he say?? Thank you for coming?? That was idiotic.? He cleared his throat, then said her name again.?

God, this was unbearable.? The tension was horrible.? When he spoke her name again, she made a tiny, startled noise and turned wide eyes on him.? "I...? I guess you got my message," she said softly.? There could be no other explanation for his behavior.

Her message.? The impersonal, crushing message.? Yeah...he'd gotten it.? He nodded slowly.?

She nodded, too.? Then in a tiny voice asked, "Would you like to talk about it?"

He sighed, turning away from her, looking into the fire again.? When he spoke again, his voice was very soft, contemplative, even.? "I've spent my whole life being stepped on, ignored and rejected.? I though it wouldn't hurt anymore, that I was used to it by now.? But...a phone message?? Sent by your secretary?"?

She sighed softly, pushed a hand through her hair.? "Bebakhshid, Azizam. I'm sorry," she said softly, knowing the words would mean little to him, especially when she told him the rest of it.

He half-turned, looking over his shoulder at her.? "At least you actually mean that."? He started to speak again, then cut himself off.? It was up to her to do the talking now.

Only she didn't know what to say.? She fell silent, still standing with her back to the fountain, arms crossed once more under her breasts.? "It was selfish," she said softly, thoughtfully, as she explored the feelings for the first time.? "I didn't want to see the hurt in your eyes when I told you.? So I took the coward's way out, the selfish way.? Ori, azizam, I'm truly very sorry."? Tears welled up, their hot wetness prickling at her eyes, making her blink rapidly.

Her honesty helped.? He took a step towards her when he saw the tears.? What did it say about him that he wanted to hold her, to kiss those tears away, even now?? It says you're probably a very large idiot, Ori.

She took a step back when he came closer and held up her hand to stop him.? She had to stay strong to get the confession out; she knew that if he touched her, if he showed her even the tiniest bit of kindness, she'd fall back on cowardly ways and never tell him what had happened inside the limo.

"Okay," he said, closing his eyes briefly.? Yesterday, before all of this, she would have called him into the bedroom.? He bent down to pet Oscar.? Some things didn't change, at least.

She changed quickly, choosing clothes completely at random, slipping on a pair of jeans and one of Ori's t-shirts, the one from the Tisch school that she'd stolen from him just a few days ago. She picked up her sodden clothes and the dress and left her bedroom, carrying the bundle into her bathroom where she dumped it into the hamper by the toilet.? Then she went and stood in front of the hearth, with the bulk of the couch between them.? She didn't want to be afraid of Ori, but the look in his eyes and the way the magic arced and sparked between his fingers like a downed power line filled her with a thrill of fear.

Her hesitance, the fear of him, of what she'd seen, was obvious, and painful.? He seemed to shrink in on himself when she put the couch in between them.? He couldn't even lift his head to look at her.? "I'm sorry," he muttered.? "I'll go."? He turned away, pulling the door open again.?

"Ori.? Don't.? We have to talk about this.? But..."? She trailed off and fell silent.? What more could she say?? The damage was done.? She'd ruined their relationship, lost the best thing that had ever happened to her.

He stopped, standing in the doorway, back to her.? "But?"

"You scared me," she said softly, staring at the back of his head.? "A lot."

"I'm sorry."? He stared at his feet, afraid to look back at her.? "I wouldn't have...couldn't have hurt you.? I promised I never would...and I meant it."

"You can't control the magic anymore than I can control the hunger, Ori," she said in a soft voice.

"I stopped it."

"Fine.? You stopped it."? She sighed and went and sat down on the couch, curling up and resting her chin on her bent knee.? "Doesn't change the fact that you scared me.? Nor does it change the fact that...well, it doesn't change what I did, either."

Now he turned, but he didn't move away from the door.? When he saw she was wearing one of his own shirts, he felt a sharp pain in his chest, a tightness that it made it hard to speak. Finally, he managed a single question. "Why did you go?"

"To apologize for humiliating him."

He nodded, not pointing out that she could have sent him a letter.? Or a damn phone message. "Guess he accepted your apology," he said.? It was supposed to come out bitter.? Somehow it was just sad, though.

A bright flare of anger rose up in her breast and she opened her mouth to snap back a hurtful comment but caught it at the last moment.? She shut her mouth with a harsh, audible clacking of teeth and breathed heavily through her nose, sounding like a tiny, irritated bull.

"I'm sorry," he said again.? "That was rude."?

She shook her head, not quite trusting herself to speak just yet.? She took a deep breath then, and pressed her forehead against her knee, closing her eyes.? "I still love you," she whispered, unaware that she'd spoken aloud.

He was surprised by her vehement response, but held her close, patting and stroking her back as she cried.? There were tears in his own eyes, but he blinked them away, whispering softly to her.? "It's okay, let it out.? It's okay, my butterfly.? I've got you, my love."? I never want to let this woman go, he told himself.?

The tears wound themselves down, leaving her with that horrible hiccuping of especially bad crying.? "I'm sorry," she whispered, closing her eyes and resting her head on his shoulder, her forehead pressed tightly against the side of his neck.? "I'm sorry," she said over and over.

"I forgive you," he replied, each time, stroking her hair with each repetition.? Gideon be damned; he'd get nothing else out of them.

"Will you stay with me tonight?? I don't want to be alone."

"I'll stay with you every night.? I don't ever want to be away from you."

She nodded and then raised her head, looking up at him.? "I want to brush my teeth," she said with a small smile.? "I taste like an ashtray."

"You're awfully hot for an ashtray," he said, venturing a smile in return.

She arched a brow at him and then shook her head before carefully untangling herself from his embrace and sliding off her lap.? "I'll be right back.? Meet you in the bedroom."? Then she disappeared into the bathroom.

Well, his attempt at humor had failed.? At least she hadn't hit him.? He stood and walked into the bedroom.? His legs were shaky again, but this time it was from the release of tension.

She washed her face, brushed her teeth vigorously, even used mouthwash so that when...if...he kissed her, he wouldn't taste cigarettes on her breath.? Then she went and turned off all the lights, locked the front door and went into the bedroom.

He was sitting on the edge of the bed when she came in.? "Feel a little better?" he asked.

She nodded and gave him a smile, too, though it was definitely lacking its usual brilliant wattage.? She unzipped her jeans, slid them down her legs and stepped out of them, stooping to pick them up and fold them.? She put them on top of her dresser and then tugged off her socks, leaving them on the floor to be carried into the bedroom in the morning.? Then she reached up under her, well his, t-shirt, unfastening her bra and shrugging out of it before laying it atop her jeans.?

He watched her undress, feeling the unavoidable arousal that caused.? As she stood there in his t-shirt and her panties, he held out his hands to her in silent invitation.

She went into his arms, laying her cheek against the top of his head.? "No sex tonight, Ori," she said softly, willing him to be okay with it, to not take it as a sign of not wanting him.

"It's okay," he whispered back, wrapping his arms tightly around her.? "Being with you is enough.? More than enough."? And then he remembered something he had been planning to tell her, something he'd looked up especially for her.? Softly, he recited, "Your love lifts my soul from the body to the sky, And you lift me up out of two worlds.? I want your sun to reach my raindrops, So your heat can raise my soul upward like a cloud."

Tears filled her eyes again and she repeated the poem, this time in Persian, the language Rumi had written it in more than seven hundred years ago.? She kissed him softly and then released him so he could stand and undress and join her in bed.


((Many thanks to Ori Simon's player for this scene.))