Free to a good home, one Bachelor.
House broken. Comes from good bloodlines.
Can do windows and take out the trash.
Romance a must.
Maybe a personal add was a little over the top for most people. A little desperate. But Felix Ivan Xavier Starke was desperate. Mr. FIX was in a fix.
The reason was simple. Wilhloemyna Octayvia Ghastly. Or rather his mother, Elizabeth Starke's insistence that if he hadn't wooed, wedded and bedded himself a bride by the new year, He'd be forced to marry the harpy. And that was Harpy with the big H. Wings, Claws, nasty temper and a deft hand with a whip. Something Felix had no desire to experience first hand. But Mother wanted grandbabies and she'd go to any lengths to get them.
One might think that being a bloodsucking denizens of the night that this was an unlikely ambition. The media tended to portray them all as mindless undead killers. But what few people realized is that there were almost as many types of "vampire" out there, as there were brands and flavors of toothpaste* on a supermarket shelf.
Just to name a few:
You had your dark as the night black leather and chain wearing thug vampires. These tended to be neophytes. "Made**" vampires who played around with powers they barely understood with a reckless abandon that made them seem a menace to themselves and others.
Then there were the brooding world weary types. More "made" vampires who had surrvied the first flush of youth and power, and developed a kind of malaise. The "I've seen so much, you can't imagine. What joy can the world hold for me now?" types. These could be almost as dangerous as the neophtyes because they tended to be self destructive, and indifferent to who they took down with them.
"Made" vampires as a rule tended to be sterile, just as the media portrayed, but of course, there were exceptions.
Then you had your "Inhuman" vampire. Harpies, Dryads, Ghouls and Ghasts and Sirens just to name a few. Creatures who enjoyed the taking of blood just as much as any vampire. With Powerful old bloodlines of thier own they were often sought after mates for our final class of vampires.
The Vampyre. Old Blood vampires who were born rather than "made" Tracing origins back to the dawn of mythology. As alive as anyone. Really aside from the need to consume the blood of the living and the fangs to do so, they wern't that different than your average human. Oh and the Power. Both temporal and metaphysical power. Money and connections greased wheels most didn't know existed, and psychic powers were just ... awesomely powerful.
Felix Starke was Vampyre. Not a very old one. In fact at just over 100 years of age he was still considered a young man. He and his twin sister Felicity had been born "late" in life to Xavier and Elizabeth Starke, who were both in their 1600's. Hence Elizabeth's desire to marry her son off. She and Xavier wanted to retire soon, and spend the days playing with the grandchildren. Unfortunately neither of their children were really obliging this desire.
Her daughter had thretened to join a convent. And her son had refused every girl of breeding and marriagable age she had paraded in front of him for the last quarter century. And that was a very large number of girls. Finally she'd snapped and issued her ultimatum. 90 days. And if Felix didn't bring home a bride in time for the new years festivities at Starke Castle, part of the festivities would be his wedding.
It was almost as bad as a death sentence. Enough to make a fellow desperate enough to place a personal ad. And to pray that something came of it.
* Contrary to popular media, oral hygine is very important to most vampires. Cavities in a fang could be life or death, so regular brushing and dental visits are a must.
** "Made" refers to the process to sharing vampiric esscence with a mortal being after completly draining their lifeforce. This process is often messy and traumatic to the new "made" vampire and thus considerd anethema to most Vampyre.
House broken. Comes from good bloodlines.
Can do windows and take out the trash.
Romance a must.
Maybe a personal add was a little over the top for most people. A little desperate. But Felix Ivan Xavier Starke was desperate. Mr. FIX was in a fix.
The reason was simple. Wilhloemyna Octayvia Ghastly. Or rather his mother, Elizabeth Starke's insistence that if he hadn't wooed, wedded and bedded himself a bride by the new year, He'd be forced to marry the harpy. And that was Harpy with the big H. Wings, Claws, nasty temper and a deft hand with a whip. Something Felix had no desire to experience first hand. But Mother wanted grandbabies and she'd go to any lengths to get them.
One might think that being a bloodsucking denizens of the night that this was an unlikely ambition. The media tended to portray them all as mindless undead killers. But what few people realized is that there were almost as many types of "vampire" out there, as there were brands and flavors of toothpaste* on a supermarket shelf.
Just to name a few:
You had your dark as the night black leather and chain wearing thug vampires. These tended to be neophytes. "Made**" vampires who played around with powers they barely understood with a reckless abandon that made them seem a menace to themselves and others.
Then there were the brooding world weary types. More "made" vampires who had surrvied the first flush of youth and power, and developed a kind of malaise. The "I've seen so much, you can't imagine. What joy can the world hold for me now?" types. These could be almost as dangerous as the neophtyes because they tended to be self destructive, and indifferent to who they took down with them.
"Made" vampires as a rule tended to be sterile, just as the media portrayed, but of course, there were exceptions.
Then you had your "Inhuman" vampire. Harpies, Dryads, Ghouls and Ghasts and Sirens just to name a few. Creatures who enjoyed the taking of blood just as much as any vampire. With Powerful old bloodlines of thier own they were often sought after mates for our final class of vampires.
The Vampyre. Old Blood vampires who were born rather than "made" Tracing origins back to the dawn of mythology. As alive as anyone. Really aside from the need to consume the blood of the living and the fangs to do so, they wern't that different than your average human. Oh and the Power. Both temporal and metaphysical power. Money and connections greased wheels most didn't know existed, and psychic powers were just ... awesomely powerful.
Felix Starke was Vampyre. Not a very old one. In fact at just over 100 years of age he was still considered a young man. He and his twin sister Felicity had been born "late" in life to Xavier and Elizabeth Starke, who were both in their 1600's. Hence Elizabeth's desire to marry her son off. She and Xavier wanted to retire soon, and spend the days playing with the grandchildren. Unfortunately neither of their children were really obliging this desire.
Her daughter had thretened to join a convent. And her son had refused every girl of breeding and marriagable age she had paraded in front of him for the last quarter century. And that was a very large number of girls. Finally she'd snapped and issued her ultimatum. 90 days. And if Felix didn't bring home a bride in time for the new years festivities at Starke Castle, part of the festivities would be his wedding.
It was almost as bad as a death sentence. Enough to make a fellow desperate enough to place a personal ad. And to pray that something came of it.
* Contrary to popular media, oral hygine is very important to most vampires. Cavities in a fang could be life or death, so regular brushing and dental visits are a must.
** "Made" refers to the process to sharing vampiric esscence with a mortal being after completly draining their lifeforce. This process is often messy and traumatic to the new "made" vampire and thus considerd anethema to most Vampyre.