Shane took a nice big sigh and continued to stare down at the blank piece of paper that sat in her lap. She had been staring at that same page for about an hour now and the only thing she had gotten written down was ?Dear Mama,?. Yep, this letter was going real well.
She let out another sigh, this one brisker and full of frustration, and she pushed the metal-ringed notebook aside. Legs unfolded beneath to support her as she stood from the couch, leaving the pad of paper half-buried beneath the simple throw that had been keeping her warm, and bare feet padded along, going from wood to tile as she moved through the threshold of living room into kitchen. Something relaxing to drink was to be called for and so stained-glass eyes instantly moved to peruse the few various bottles of alcohol that sat housed on a shelf, arms wrapping tightly about her middle as she paused in front of them, her lower lip coming in to be chewed as she stared.
A few minutes later and the tea kettle was heating up on the stove, the petite blonde leaning heavily against the counter beside it with both hands covering her face. Irritation was breeding with age-old stress along with some other mixture of emotions that Shane was just too tired and too annoyed to try and sort or put name to. Years worth of chagrin were eating away just beneath the skin but, regardless of all that resentment, she still felt that instinctual need to love her mother and that was the only thing that had her even trying to write that letter that was almost five years in the making.
Eyes flicked over to the dusty old shelf that was home to those miraculously numbing booze and Shane couldn?t help but question herself as to why she wasn?t currently downing a shot or two of vodka or whiskey. But rolling tummy and whistling pot were her saving grace and she pushed herself away from the counter, gathering up mug and a teabag of peppermint leaf to finish fixing her virgin drink.
Padding her way back through the kitchen and into the living room, Shane reclaimed her place on what she had deemed as her side of the couch. Blanket and notebook were tugged back into her lap as legs folded beneath her, her mug being drawn right up against her chest so that the soothing vapors could rise just beneath her nose. She nestled herself deep into the corner of the comfy cushions, curling into herself as she begrudgingly looked back down at the pristine sheet of white broken only by those faint lines of blue. Lower lip was back to being nibbled upon, that minty breeze stirring the senses of the tongue, while the pen was tangled back up between muse-gifted digits.
She sat for close to another half an hour with barely any change in posture, the only movements being the pen as her ceaseless habit of fidgeting brought it to winding between fingers in a methodical time and the repetitive lifting and lowering of the mug as tiny sips were taken. Frustration was beginning to build again as her mind, and in turn the paper, remained blank and so, in a restless attempt at jumbling some thoughts, Shane shifted to bring herself to stand again so that she could pace.
But before she could plant both feet on the floor she felt a gentle stab at her thigh, something in her pocket jabbing just below the hip. Confused, that delicate brow furrowed as she resettled back down, mug being discarded atop a nearby table as fingers went delving into the confining pocket. A mere second or two and Shane found what had dissuaded her from moving, pulling out the gaudy piece of jewelry that had acted as her wedding ring.
Now complete submission to sitting was given and Shane found herself reclining back into the plush pillow behind her, that glitzy fake diamond being held up before her as she eyed it, letting her thoughts follow its lead back to the memory of the morning that she woke up a married woman. A married woman in bed with her husband. That husband was Bradley Kaiser.
A new sensation began to wash over her and slowly a smile began to spill across her lips. A strangely calming feeling of joy blossomed at the center of her chest as she studied the god-awful ring, fresher memories now coming to be replayed in front of her mind?s eye and Shane could feel little else other than that raw sense of happiness as she let herself relive the past few months.
A time was given to let herself wallow in that aura of natural bliss before Shane brought herself out of that lovey-eyed daze, blinking a few times to set the haze gently aside and look back down at that haunting notebook and pen. But this time there was no blankness or empty thoughts, only those of contentment of her new life and the man who had made it so, and so she simply just let those thoughts bleed out onto the page, all the while that brazen piece of jewelry being held tucked into her hand.
?Dear Mama,
So, I got married??
She let out another sigh, this one brisker and full of frustration, and she pushed the metal-ringed notebook aside. Legs unfolded beneath to support her as she stood from the couch, leaving the pad of paper half-buried beneath the simple throw that had been keeping her warm, and bare feet padded along, going from wood to tile as she moved through the threshold of living room into kitchen. Something relaxing to drink was to be called for and so stained-glass eyes instantly moved to peruse the few various bottles of alcohol that sat housed on a shelf, arms wrapping tightly about her middle as she paused in front of them, her lower lip coming in to be chewed as she stared.
A few minutes later and the tea kettle was heating up on the stove, the petite blonde leaning heavily against the counter beside it with both hands covering her face. Irritation was breeding with age-old stress along with some other mixture of emotions that Shane was just too tired and too annoyed to try and sort or put name to. Years worth of chagrin were eating away just beneath the skin but, regardless of all that resentment, she still felt that instinctual need to love her mother and that was the only thing that had her even trying to write that letter that was almost five years in the making.
Eyes flicked over to the dusty old shelf that was home to those miraculously numbing booze and Shane couldn?t help but question herself as to why she wasn?t currently downing a shot or two of vodka or whiskey. But rolling tummy and whistling pot were her saving grace and she pushed herself away from the counter, gathering up mug and a teabag of peppermint leaf to finish fixing her virgin drink.
Padding her way back through the kitchen and into the living room, Shane reclaimed her place on what she had deemed as her side of the couch. Blanket and notebook were tugged back into her lap as legs folded beneath her, her mug being drawn right up against her chest so that the soothing vapors could rise just beneath her nose. She nestled herself deep into the corner of the comfy cushions, curling into herself as she begrudgingly looked back down at the pristine sheet of white broken only by those faint lines of blue. Lower lip was back to being nibbled upon, that minty breeze stirring the senses of the tongue, while the pen was tangled back up between muse-gifted digits.
She sat for close to another half an hour with barely any change in posture, the only movements being the pen as her ceaseless habit of fidgeting brought it to winding between fingers in a methodical time and the repetitive lifting and lowering of the mug as tiny sips were taken. Frustration was beginning to build again as her mind, and in turn the paper, remained blank and so, in a restless attempt at jumbling some thoughts, Shane shifted to bring herself to stand again so that she could pace.
But before she could plant both feet on the floor she felt a gentle stab at her thigh, something in her pocket jabbing just below the hip. Confused, that delicate brow furrowed as she resettled back down, mug being discarded atop a nearby table as fingers went delving into the confining pocket. A mere second or two and Shane found what had dissuaded her from moving, pulling out the gaudy piece of jewelry that had acted as her wedding ring.
Now complete submission to sitting was given and Shane found herself reclining back into the plush pillow behind her, that glitzy fake diamond being held up before her as she eyed it, letting her thoughts follow its lead back to the memory of the morning that she woke up a married woman. A married woman in bed with her husband. That husband was Bradley Kaiser.
A new sensation began to wash over her and slowly a smile began to spill across her lips. A strangely calming feeling of joy blossomed at the center of her chest as she studied the god-awful ring, fresher memories now coming to be replayed in front of her mind?s eye and Shane could feel little else other than that raw sense of happiness as she let herself relive the past few months.
A time was given to let herself wallow in that aura of natural bliss before Shane brought herself out of that lovey-eyed daze, blinking a few times to set the haze gently aside and look back down at that haunting notebook and pen. But this time there was no blankness or empty thoughts, only those of contentment of her new life and the man who had made it so, and so she simply just let those thoughts bleed out onto the page, all the while that brazen piece of jewelry being held tucked into her hand.
?Dear Mama,
So, I got married??