Topic: The Finch in the Window

Rewa · Date: 2009-01-24 05:04 EST

The Finch in the Window

My newest diary,

I finally pen you today, my Christmas gift from Cinder. You were wrapped in newspaper as he sees buying gift paper a waste of money, he is an odd one.
You are a beautiful leather bound book with locking pewter claps and double hinged spine, were you custom made for me I cannot find another like you?
I had just finished in my previous diary and pick up with you where I had left off. I shall call you the Finch in the Window, for as I write a finch is in the feeder outside the window looking in at me.
It?s stopped snowing and Cinder and Delliah had gone into the cold forest to hunt for deer, they had been gone for four hours now I think. I never can tell what time it is here, not that the hours pass by he has never once had a clock on the wall.
I will depart with Cinder to Hollenstadt later today but again I don?t know what time that is but he assured me we would leave on schedule. He mentioned it was business trip but went no further; there was promise of some leisure and fun for us both. I am a bit skeptical about this trip however, I did some research on Hollenstadt and there is mention once of a Minstrum research facility that extracted magic from test subjects, I hope his reasons have nothing to do with this. Other than that I gathered information on ski resorts, and spas and fine theatres, the names of the people sound weird and foreign even the pictures of them are odd the camera must be out of focus because they are all short and bulbous... I hope he has taking into consideration my kind of fun though, I packed some things we found useful last trip; hopefully there is enough maple left.

I had caught him as himself besides Kristae?s grave but I understand that is a part of him I?ll never have. I don?t want to take that from Kristae, she was important ot the both of us. Cinder had said that he had told her goodbye and he loved her always, he gave me some ticket which I do not understand, it was something he was holding onto until he was ready to truly love another person, he thought he would need it when he discovered a way back home to his world but now he has realized his home was always here.
I?m going to close for now I?ve left my diary with many questions and I am certain I will never find the real truths behind them all. I know that he loves me and with Jennifer he is willing to make this work. I'll prepare some coffee for him when he returns. The tree is still up, I wonder when it will be taken care of since we are leaving and who knows when we shall return.

Rewanna ?Red? Nalliste

Rewa · Date: 2009-01-29 04:21 EST

Entry Two.

Diary,
It has been a day now and since we had left Cinder?s home in Mirue near Alesblot. We dined at a wonderful little Turkish restaurant near the train station called Ishtar. It was so nice there I hope that we stop there on the way back. One of the few places I never truly expereinced was in his own backyard at least on the mainland that is.
He was right in the time the train would depart, we had plenty of time to freshen up and walk to the Mawley. Delliah left us there and said goodbye, she too even cleaned up. When those two arrived back from their hunting trip Cinder had looked worn out, his face was covered in blood from the deer and he dragged its head behind him as Delliah dragged back a bear for her children. They have gotten big and Cinder said soon they could be like their mother able to talk.
I have never witness their hunts but from what I can tell it is a gruesome strategy. Cinder learned much in wars and like hunts there are certain executions to make successes. He swears he doesn?t use weapons or magic but without an arm I wonder if he has suggested using some sort aid. Delliah obviously prizes her father but like me she too worries he has left something behind, it?s perhaps nothing just our worry he will leave us as.
It has been so long since Lord Fenris returned to the realm of gods taking his father with him. Since that time things have gone crazy, I still don?t know what prompted him to leave when he had just returned. When he did return he was in his human illusion and denied his true self, I think he misses his left arm more than he lets on. He buried it in his grave beside Kristae?s, what he said sounded so morbid. I still don?t know why he asked Delliah to not forget where he should be buried when he dies. Days after he was emotionless for quite some time and now he just seems more mysterious even as Jennifer I cannot get him to open up of certain things.
This trip to Hollenstadt is surely something other than a mere business trip which he felt he had to invite me along. The train ride is smooth and the service has been fairly well received. Cinder seems very dismissed of train life, in all years of knowing him and his love of travel he sit?s motionless staring at the edges of the maps, he talks of Larooma a lot in his sleep I wonder what or whom a Shanpava is. I am getting sleepy, Cinder and I drank at the bar earlier he is already asleep. I too should retire. I hope one day when these pages are filled it will be the last; I tire of writing I wish I could draw like Cinder at least a sketch book would be a change of pace. By the time i write oncem ore we should have left Port Katherine, I can't wait to see the lake that is an ocean, godnight.

Rewanna ?Red Nalliste

Rewa · Date: 2009-04-04 02:19 EST

Entry Three

Diary,
Forgive me for being so late as to tell the recent accounts of our trip. I had been pre occupied with other writings before I could get to you. Cinder and I have left Port Katherine behind and already I miss it dearly. I will be fortunate to return on the way back whenever that may be. This wonderful place holds many memories for Cinder, I did not know he had belonged to the United Trade Alliance at one time nor was the original building housed here in this wonderful city. There is an art museum here which has a work of Cinder?s on display, I cannot wait to see it.
The city streets and marvelous architecture that blends the new with the old immediately makes me think of back home on Midgar, seeing this place makes me realize how homesick I really am. I had mentioned this to Cinder and asked if he would stay with me and my family at our estate. He seemed interested enough since had thought of teaching a few classes as a guest speaker. It seems like ages ago that Kristae died? I miss my friend dearly. I recall the day Cinder decided to take me up on the offer of staying with me for a while. Of course this was only if Delliah was allowed to stay, they both ended up living with me for almost two years before he returned to Mirue. Life is strange how it weaves people into our lives.
Your predecessor apparently had been found and read, Cinder read him and discovered that a woman he had been intimate with a very long time ago died. When he told me he read Cornflower, which was my previous diary before we met. I suppose that is why Cinder gave me you, you have a lock, and perhaps he wishes me to keep secrets because I?m aware he keeps his own? After I explained myself I had to tell about his supposed son, he seemed to care little of the subject yet I am sure he is curious just as this young man must be curious. The world, this one does not need another Cinder but perhaps it wouldn?t hurt.
More news for you my friend, I am giddy with excitement still, I cannot believe he had said yes or at least he said when he was Jennifer. Oh but I am going ahead of myself, I had asked if he would marry me! I asked after several arguments and discussions with Cinder, mainly about the previous mention of a possible son and a friend of his who happened to be a Gramnsheal. How diabolical I thought yet, this Kreil, Cinder?s friend makes wonderful food from his shop called Carnivore Moley, ever since we left I?ve craved another sandwich.
Anyways, I proposed after several frantic blurts of incomparable chatter till Cinder poked me in the stomach. It was out on the pavilion overlooking the lake and I must say this lake lives up to the intensity which Cinder had described. You can follow the banks with your eye and suddenly realize that is disappears. Yes I was again impressed with the lake and my dear traveling companion.
The only thing I am questioning is why he asked which of him was I intended on marrying. I couldn?t give a direct answer because really I haven?t one. I am attracted to him as Jennifer; there are so many things he does as a human I find so precious not to mention how beautiful and attractive she is. Jennifer part aside, he is somebody I have always known and depended upon. Well perhaps not always but ever since Kristae and he started to date I have known him. Deep down I think he feels he is making Kristae happy by being with me, I feel the same way but I know there is more to him than Cinder or Jennifer. Sometimes I feel there is that third person he is when he seems worn out and disconnected with the world, is this really his true self? Rvheressa what an strange name to have been named, it means various things, Weak flame or dying flame and apparently it also means Ashes which was why he chose to be called Cinder for us humans or what have you?d. I know he likes being Rvheressa his Ferish name, I?m learning how to say it right but it seems so complicated. I learned how to say Red in Ferishan, Yoae kind of like you and ha spoken together really fast, sadly Cinder says he won?t call me that because he likes my real name. I actually like his real name too?
Well I have written a lot today and will let my pen rest and let your pages dry. Thank you for being here for me Diary. Next time we meet like this we shall be in Hollenstadt, I cannot wait.

Rewanna ?Red? Nalliste.

Rewa · Date: 2009-09-08 00:39 EST

Entry Four,

Diary,

I feel exhausted; the cold weather really wears me out. I don?t know how Rvheressa does it what with bare feet and all even as Jennifer he refuses to wear shoes and yet feels the cold only slightly. I think it?s something in the blood of a Ferisha that makes them so odd... I know I have never sucked Cin's blood because it?s scent makes me ill like poison.
He had said once Delliah loves the cold even more than Him. I wonder if the true Plygrethia is really colder than the illusion one? The other night he mentioned False Plygrethia no longer exists in the world, I wonder what that means exactly as for his ravens he said they were to disappear?
Anyways our trip had been an exciting venture so far, and I?m amazed at how little I truly know about the world I live in. We had drinks with Mara a native Dwarf of Hollenstadt and Vic?te our tag along perverted thief, though our uninvited guest was an unwelcomed sight, how I hate her! Before that Cinder sang such a lovely song, granted it was an irish diddy, he wrote it for Kristae apparently, if I had gone to their wedding I am certain I would have heard it so long ago. It's hard to forget Kristae since being with Cinder, he never has failed as a husband, perhaps it's the one thing he felt best at in life... I wonder how he will fare marrying me?
Well we are back at the room now and everything is fine. Cinder expected to find mints on the pillows, I told him we get them once the room is made, and he now is in search of some candy leaving me alone for some time to write.
I asked him once more about the darkening under his left eye, yes the Saint?s Tear? he changed the subject turning into Jennifer and I had forgotten about it till now. Well tomorrow we go into the mountains so we will finally be rid of this momentum which had built up on our hearts for so many months. I am sorry to burden you my diary with my troubles.

Rewanna "Red" Nalliste

Rewa · Date: 2009-10-04 05:08 EST

Entry Five

Diary,
As much as I liked to state how beautiful Hollenstadt is and the many amazing things we have seen I regret that that is not the case.

There is nothing to be here but a memory of the time my love has vanished.

The tides have all but casted hope for me now? Cinder, my Jennifer lullaby has been taken from my arms. How in contrasted now, twisted my pride and easily do I weep. I may never see her I may never kiss her? I may never tell him how much I was secure and content I was sitting quietly with him on the docks feeding ducks in all the seasons. How comfortable it was to curl up on the floor beside him or her in some now distant memory, the cold floor reminiscent of the grass. Can you feel it still? I do.

I don?t give up on such hope, such turns of events have spun me now but still I am adamant in finding her. Mara is teamed up with Poa, the search in their own for clues to his own left. Vic?te seems confident on the outside but I can tell his heart is shaken as is my own. Our Vic'te... it seems so long now that he has been an ally of ours, the first time he joined up with us he was nineteen now he is twenty eight, already he looks older than me. I suppose now I am the youngest of the group, it would pain me to outlast everyone I don't wish for this eternal life.

Of course I am unpleasantly suprised by our new companion...she has proved hard to converse with though I feel fortune shines on us with her arrival for I fear it is her to only bring him back.

I know he has talked of his ister often and held her in such high caliber but I wonder where that is now, she hardly emulates the glory he holds her in.
She comes out of the blue and demands all sake of us both. Now that of her arrival I wonder if there is ever to be a future with Jennifer now that she had appeared, that fate seems halted forever. Does an illusion have much weight to the real one in her eyes I wonder? Cinder I know cares little of such matters but what of his own flesh and blood? I am certain such things lay in sleep amongst the stars to ponder? I haven?t the reach for them tonight perhaps another time.
Tomorrow we look once more in the city that once had me by the collar. Give me danger as long as I can see her?

Rewanna "Red" Nalliste

Rewa · Date: 2009-10-04 05:28 EST

Entry Six

Diary,

This room which we stay in couldn't be more tight spaced, fortunately Vic'te is quiet and sleeps on the sofa leaving me for the bed. I do not know where that elf girl goes at night, no dobut she sleeps someplace alone on the floor or outside. I suppose she is safe, no vampire would dare trifle with her and if they did they'd fall ill to her blood.

There still hasn't been word on his whereabouts or of Jennifer's as far as things go we are fine staying here a few more days but I pray
information gives way. Corda is very different from years ago, the slaves that remain are afar and few. I haven't seen or heard of my former master since then and I am quite glad. If Cinder truly is here in either form I pray the drugs used on him have not destroyed him. I have heard that these sedatives often backfire and kill people instnatly or are sent into a coma which they may never wake.
Please lord, I know we have differences and by tradition I should
fear you but remember I was human once. Forget not Cinder who curses you but of me, your lamb. I pray forgiveness and let me find my heart again. Even those who art thy enemy are forgiven are they not?

My diary, in all the ones I have possessed you have been the first to be asking of my lord. Forgive my, both you and my saviour.

Rewanna "Red" Nalliste

Rewa · Date: 2009-11-27 03:41 EST

Entry Seven

Dear Diary,

Where do I begin it has been so long it seems. We are now in Corda, my second home the place I became a vampire slave?
The visit to Hollenstadt was brief, we were cut short and my Jennifer, my Cinder has been abducted. There is much explaining to do and the last thing I ever wanted to bring up once more in my life in any of my diaries is Count Currato. That man stole many things from me; he raped me, used me, and changed me into this vampire. It has been seven years now I think and it gets harder to control myself? these cravings I have are natural Cinder says, he knew Vampires before me and he himself drinks deer?s blood for some peculiar reason.
He obtained a strain of anti vampirism; no doubt the secrets held within the Minstrum ran deeper than killing those who use magic. I don?t know what else to expect but I pray we find Jennifer soon. It?s funny to think this but Cinder was abducted while in his other form, perhaps they know, most likely not. He relies heavily on Jennifer these days, I think ever since he lost his arm and found himself with closure over the loss of many people he loved he just wanted to start over. Perhaps he really should leave this world; I hope he asks me to join him.
I still have the last letters he wrote to Jinsa and Renne, the first two I sent anyways after he had thrown them out now I do not know what to do. Including in these he had written additional letters to Kayla and Carolyn as well. I haven?t read them and yet I feel compelled not to send them knowing the last ones have left a mark on me. Carolyn was the last person he?d betray and he did leaving her the business of the Salvage Yards to her without a word until this one. What of the others I cannot say but I?m certain they all must think of him the same way I do and that is why I am still here looking for him. Times like this it would be for benefit to have a Gramnsheal in our aid but I still cannot agree to them even after seeing Kreil in Port Katherine. What they had done to Midgar in the last seventeen years was unforgivable.
Not all is particularly sad; Ember Cin?s sister has found herself in this world. When I first met her, a day ago she was ready to cut my head off. I guess like her, he too was lost and hostile the first time he came here only Lurie would know for certain. Vic?te says she is scary and shouldn?t be trusted personally I think we just don?t know her that well despite the tales told to us about her by Cin. She is beautiful and strong, her amber eyes like a blazing sun over a great forest on an autumn day. She appears more akin to her kind than her brother still the striking comparisons exist. From the matching earrings, the curve of their grins and even disdain for human fashions. We seem to be warming up to each other and I know it will take time for her to see why her brother likes me.

Till I write again.

Rewanna "Red" Nalliste

Rewa · Date: 2009-12-14 05:00 EST

Entry Eight.

Colder now than it was a week ago, winter never misses a beat, not like I do. No word, no advancement in Corda to discuss... I am beginning doubt we will ever surface his whereabouts. It's likely as we had been told by Poaquhin that he may already be dead or worse in a coma which he may never succeed from. If that is the case shall I quit, I doubt I could. No, Ember would be satisfied in me giving up and I?d still have to prove her something.
Vic'te ever so positive keep my spirits up still I am now worried for Ember, she has freely taken it upon herself to scour the city after the encounter with Kayla. Perhaps it's for the best I hope the others are doing okay on the mainland. Port Katherine, I wonder what reason would kie there in such a docile city.
Poaquhin... well she was my lover once I suppose I can trust her on this accord we have for the time being even though when it's over she will try to kill me.
By now Delliah no doubt is worrying over her father, if anyone could find Cin it would be her. I wonder if she has dragged a Christmas tree to the house. Last year still echoes in my mind. I don't think I'll ever write of happy times like those. The moment I wrote in here things began to sadden. Wishful thinking would be to write positive and things would get better but I'm a realist and I now things worsen with age...funny a vampire discussing her age as if she was still that human of years past. I don?t look at all different from the first time I was bitten.
I should have gone back to Midgar; I should have taken him with me when we had the chance before all this. The last of our troubles was during the start of last year. We had been drinking, Jennifer and I it was cold and we had embarrassed the hell out of my family during the party we were kicked out. Then a few days later we found ourselves in a Turkish restaurant on the outskirts of Alesblot. So here I am, in Corda?I forgot all about my life as a slave to Currato and now as I sleep in the same soil...I feel a evil waiting for me.

Her handwritting darker then usual, she had pressed too hard within the book.

Rewa · Date: 2009-12-24 19:27 EST

Entry Nine

Merry Christmas,
Today Vic?te and I strung up a tree in the room were staying in. Kayla had visited and dropped a present off for Cin and Ember, what about Vic'te and Me? Just kidding,it's nice she cares about Ember and they het along so well. Kayla missed her uncle it's nice she has some family.
We used popcorn from the bar Janice had dropped off and holly berries from the bush down by the steps out front. Still no news I know he is alive I can feel it.
It?s lonely here without Jennifer but I know things are going to be alright that?s all I wanted for Christmas anyway.
Ember stays silent curiously watching us, I guess like Cinder she cares very little for Christmas too. She had that Ferish holiday Inthoval two days before Yule, Cinder usually goes to Carolyn?s house and celebrates with those witches. I. wonder how everyone at the Salvage Yards are doing, we?ve been cut off for about a month.
Ember went hunting someplace in the forest with Kayla, like her brother she was covered in blood and dragged a dead deer through the streets. She should borrow my rifle I don?t understand why their holiday forbids them to hunt with weapon or why they must hunt on a holiday. Maybe next year they will celebrate together with Delliah. It would be so nice for them to be united after so long, hunting always helped clear the mind. She keeps our spirits up though that he will be brought back to us? she said she foresaw him return to us.
Despite it being a Christian holiday she should join us even Cinder would be cheerful for our holiday. It a family thing as well it?s okay If you don?t believe, I hope she likes the gift I got her. It?s been so long since everyone was together, we all live so far apart. No telling if we will have a new year?s party, last year nobody came but Carolyn and her husband. If he arrives before then we?ll try.
Till I write again. God bless,

Rewanna ?Red? Nalliste.