Topic: Too short.

Alysia Skye

Date: 2007-07-06 19:01 EST
Apropos of the discussion on Story posts in the forums (how short is too short?):

I?ve been looking for a way to illustrate why it?s a bad idea to do one- or two-line posts to advance a storyline and to show how that makes for a stilted, disjointed, and generally unpleasant read.

I?m not going to touch on why it?s ridiculous to spam up the front page with one extremely short post every five minutes or so, but thanks to the front page, I found a series of posts today that fit the bill very nicely.

The original thread, While one is away, Jadey will... keep his place up? is currently a three-page thread at Red Dragon Inn Forum Index -> RhyDin Town Center -> A Deltas Long Journey. What I compiled below was all submitted today, over the course of 13 posts. 10 of those occurred in less than an hour.

It?s copied word-for-word. I didn?t fix typos; all I did was take out was the intervening headers on each post that make spam-posting like this aggravating. The writing itself is not bad. The characters are interesting. The posting method is terrible.

You tell me which is more readable.

Coming up with this compilation as an example is probably considered gauche by the community at large and offensive or embarrassing to the two members who came up with the originals, but I don?t really care. If they are concerned enough to complain about being singled out for doing something that most of the community is getting irritated about, perhaps they?ll be concerned enough to change their habits.

Alysia Skye

Date: 2007-07-06 19:02 EST
While one is away. . .

When she landed she must have hit her head harder than she thought... "For real? Hm, ya learn somethin' new everyday.... well I'm glad your back..." Jade gave a weak smile and started for the door.

He shook his head and looked at her, he gave her a hand up and looked around. "yeah well..." He looked around as he noticed the place was clean.He didnt know she did all of this for him.

Jade stopped and gave him a half pout she didn't mean to really do. "What? You're not glad yer back?" she asked kicking at a little spot on the floor. Jade leaned a bit to reach for her bottle of B - blood and took a sip. "See... I told you that you would come back, .... You always find a way," She said with a sweet smile on her lips.

he wondered if she ever saw all of the bandages covering his arms his chest legs and face>it hurt him to even move, he barely made it back in one peice.

The smile faded as Jade looked about him. She sighed. "Gabe, what did you get into this time?" she asked before taking another sip of the blood, "And... what happened to your face?"

Yes, she had noticed the scars.

"Well um....I kinda had a bunch of run ins with mountain lions...."

Jade quirked her brows. "Moutain lions?!! Gabe!" she frowned with a huff, "Well, I'm just glad you came back alive!"

He chuckled... "Well Jade only half alive.....still beaten up badly....." He took some time to move inside and sit down on his couch, he gave a soft cry as he laid back on it. "I forgot what this couch felt like...it feels like heaven.."

"Half alive? Hm." Jade frowned then smiled at his reaction to the couch. "Well... I guess meh work here is done." She laughed.

He looked to Jade and then smiled. "keep the key....Your welcome back anytime....."

She gave a small laugh as she leaned against the side of the couch. "I think I'll jus stick it under the welcome mat so I don't lose it. And thanks." Jade smiled, "Oh! So what did you do... where ever you went?"

"To the tallest coldest mountain..and froze my ASS off...I trained my body and mind while there...it was really easy for the body...fighting about 100 150 mountain lions..."

Jade laughed, "Well... RaWr. And... brrrrr." She wiggled her nose and hit was cold again.

Alysia Skye

Date: 2007-07-08 10:15 EST
Whether anyone agrees or disagrees with concepts in the above post makes very little difference to me.

Previous comments have been moved to the Moderator's Holding Tank and this topic has been locked. If you have comments to make, address them in the appropriate venue.

Thanks.