One of my Star Wars characters, Sunlight, is a Twi'lek clone who is eccentric at best and obnoxious at worst. She frequently harasses another one of the Twi'lek clones, Daydream, prompting quite a few WTF? moments.

04/06/2006
20:09:08 Sunlight stares at Saevio Metatron.
20:09:14 Saevio Metatron squints his eyes and peers at Sunlight.
20:09:16 Sunlight says, without enthusiasm, "What happened to your head."
20:09:27 "Your sister ate it.", Saevio Metatron says coldly.
20:09:35 "I don't have any sisters.", Sunlight says.
20:09:43 Sunlight says coldly, "But which one, since we're playing pretend."
20:10:27 (cold) Saevio Metatron motions Sunlight towards Daydream.
20:10:31 Saevio Metatron says aloofly, "This one, she bit it right off"
20:10:43 "It doesn't seem to have hampered you any.", Sunlight says, without enthusiasm.
20:10:45 Daydream says, appearing emotionally distant, "Strangely, no one notices a difference when Saevio doesn't have a head."


20:10:59 "Where's the twi'lek du jour?", Sunlight says coldly.
20:11:09 "Or are you the dish of the day, Day?", Sunlight says, appearing emotionally distant.
20:11:18 "I sold the twi'lek du jour to Lestat.", Daydream says.
20:11:38 "Poor boy. Lestat's going to be all over his ass.", Sunlight says, in an unfriendly manner.
20:11:46 "That's the idea.", Daydream says.
20:12:17 "I thought he was quite nice. Not sure he deserved a horny Zabrak groping his . . . oh, no offense intended, Saevio.", Sunlight says, without enthusiasm.
20:12:30 Saevio Metatron stares at Sunlight.
20:12:33 (cold) Sunlight gestures broadly.


20:52:04 Sunlight says to Daydream, "Tell me, Day, is this where you turn completely to the Dark side and kill everyone, and enslave everyone you didn't kill?"
20:52:29 Daydream says mannerly, "You're on to me... Damnit."
20:52:34 "You'll be the first to die.", Daydream says politely.
20:52:36 You point at Sunlight.
20:52:42 Sunlight says to Daydream, "And let me guess, this can be blamed on 1) you talking to Saevio right now 2) you dumping Aroka 3)me being an obnoxious"
20:52:46 Sunlight says, "I will?"
20:52:50 Sunlight says, "You're on!"
20:52:54 Sunlight challenges you to a duel.


20:52:59 Saevio Metatron says aloofly, "Yes well, you'll have to excuse me."
20:53:17 "Sorry, I do believe the headless wonder was offended.", Sunlight says.
20:53:27 "That or he needed a potty break.", Sunlight says.

::Rolls around on the ground after having fallen out of his chair, laughing and cackling and otherwise making a big scene. Wife looks at him funny. Doesn't seem to care. Rofl, baby. Rofl::

Somehow, no matter what else is going on, Tara always manages to work at least one line in that makes me laugh out loud.

These were both from January 14th or the 15th. Not sure which.

Tara Rynieyn: Seeing as I've lived here for a very long time which Lysia can back me up on, as can the Elder over there ::nodding to him:: I think I'm the most qualified to form an opinion on the way you all dress.
Tara Rynieyn: Which, if you don't mind me saying, sucks.


Tara Rynieyn: They're jus' breasts Gavilean. Dun stare at em like you dun know what they are an' for God's sake if you start drooling I'm going to throw something at you.
RDI Gav: I didn't even notice, Tara. ::lies like a rug::

::Squints.:: Played on Starsider, did you?

Osht.

Still do, but less often as Sunlight and more often as Dawnstar'.

Ahhhhhahahadsadas. Zyranth & Desinadre are mine. Not a vet tho', 2+ years. Unfortunately, cancelling soon. I've found Vanguard.

:shock:
Osht, the sequel.

I play Daydream there. I have been wondering if Desinadre was a RDI/Dragonsmark type from the emotes.

See you in Vanguard, heh.

Almost every time I talk to this person, it's a WTF moment. Well. Maybe less WTFery, and more just LOL-bait. Behold:

Censored SN: And here I was gonna ask if you wanted to RP. Fate's a tricky girl.
A Shadowed Smile: Well. Oracle is started to get wasted.
A Shadowed Smile: We've been playing for about 6 hours now.
Censored SN: Oh, wait. It's not Fate. You're always RPing. : P
A Shadowed Smile: So, all liklihood, we're going to be taking a pause.
Censored SN: Good, take a break, too. I don't want oracle's sloppy seconds. : )
A Shadowed Smile: You just keep coming up with excuses not to RP with me, man. -.-
Censored SN: Hey, hey. You were just RPing for six hours. That constitutes as sloppy seconds. And what do you mean? I log on almost everyday and I never see an IM from you. So I can't really be making excuses if you almost never ask.
A Shadowed Smile: I used to ask a lot. But the situation was reversed, then, where you were always in play.
Censored SN: I don't remember you ever asking a lot. Maybe three times since we met. And I'm counting the time you tricked me into a PR. xP
A Shadowed Smile: Twice, you were playing with Dana. Once you were playing with Double-D. Then the PR thing.
Censored SN: 'Kay, I was off by one. Being in the middle of play doesn't count as an excuse, though.
A Shadowed Smile: If you're going to count me tricking you into a PR, then I get to count being in the middle of play :)
Censored SN: But that is asking. Just without the asking part.

~~~
This one just came out of nowhere one night.

Censored SN: I don't think I'll ever understand what people see in gargantuan boobs.

~~~

This inght, they were in a chatroom called "Want Detailed Herm IMRP"


Censored SN: I need...to...
A Shadowed Smile: Get detailed herm IMRP?
Censored SN: stop this herm crap, I tell ya whut.
Censored SN: NO, THE OPPOSITE.
Censored SN: Whatever the opposite of herm RP is.
A Shadowed Smile: ...Eunuch RP?
Censored SN: Sexy.

~~~

Censored SN: I'm just randomly clicking avatars in Furcadia in hopes of finding something mildly interesting.
A Shadowed Smile: Or
A Shadowed Smile: You could register on Dragon's Mark
A Shadowed Smile: And play forrealz.
Censored SN: I can't. I'm addicted to smut RP. I'm a hopeless cause. Don't try to save me!
A Shadowed Smile: But I care!
Censored SN: Why?...Got something against smut?!
A Shadowed Smile: In the boundaries of a story? No. :P

~~~

A Shadowed Smile: You could IM Oracle if you wanted to. I really don't mind.
A Shadowed Smile: She's good. She just has a hard time coming up with ideas for scenes.
A Shadowed Smile: In her words --

"Which is where my huge failing as a player is x_x I have the creativity of a rock. Not even a pretty rock, just a typical grey thing with all jagged angles and.. sand on it or something. "
Censored SN: That wouldn't be very nice. Skipping over you to play with your RP partners.
A Shadowed Smile: Hey, I'm used to it. Have fun, man, y'know?
Censored SN: No. NO!
A Shadowed Smile: What, Double-D is good enough, but MIni-O ain't? Huh? What do you have against the O?! ARE YOU ANTI-O, SIR!?
Censored SN: Hey, you made DD IM me!
A Shadowed Smile: Here's a great game. "Tickle the fat kid until he barfs"
A Shadowed Smile: Fun for the family, apparently.
Censored SN: What the hell? xP

Dunno, that was kinda hawtt Though the guy in green? o.o He's scary.

And again from the archives of my friend on AOL, Censored SN.

A Shadowed Smile: That's kinda' teeny, for AOL standards.
Censored SN: I was being sarcastic. xD
A Shadowed Smile: I KNOW, SIR
Censored SN: Don't call me sir. It makes me cry girl-at-heart tears.
A Shadowed Smile: Aw. I'm sorry. -.-
A Shadowed Smile: If it makes you feel better, I call everyone sir.
Censored SN: I figured as much. ; )
A Shadowed Smile: See, now I feel, like, all bad and stuff. Like I'm an evil person or something.
Censored SN: I was just kidding!
A Shadowed Smile: ::sniffle:: Really?
Censored SN: No, you make me feel all manly and grunty. Now the only way I'll be able to sleep is from exhaustion after bawling.
A Shadowed Smile: Well. Hm. Does the manly and grunty include a five o'clock shadow?
Censored SN: Now it does. It grew with just the thought of being called 'sir.'
A Shadowed Smile: OHMAHGAWD I'M A TERRIBLE PERSON!! ::weepyfacecrycry:: I'M IN UR HED, MAKING U CRY UR GRL TEARZ. Good thing I'm shallow. I'm so totally over it already.
Censored SN: Me too. I'm so over it that I forgot who I was talking to.
A Shadowed Smile: Wow. That's harsh like Simon Cowell.
Censored SN: That wasn't funny.
Censored SN: In fact, it was DREADFUL.
A Shadowed Smile: Rimshot!
Censored SN: ABSOLUTELY DRE..Yeah, you get it.

~~~

And now for the really funny stuff. This little gem was sent to me from Censored SN, and I'm going to relay it exactly how she sent it to me. You are required to watch this video first.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLaev3wfeTI

Okay. Once that's done, then you get to read this next part. Having watched the video, the end of this is much funnier. I was actually crying from laughing so hard.

SomeDudeOnAOL : Quality Herm?
Censored SN : No. Quality RP, with herm inserted.
SomeDudeOnAOL : Ah. Herm is hermaphrodite sex with a quality role play?
Censored SN: No, herm is the short hand term of hermaphrodite. ; )
SomeDudeOnAOL : I see. Who's the Herm?
Censored SN : ::Raises hand:: Not it.
SomeDudeOnAOL : I see. Well. Should I be male or female?
Censored SN : No, no. See, I raised my hand and said "not it." Which was my confusing way of saying I wouldn't be playing the herm.
SomeDudeOnAOL : Oh, I see.
SomeDudeOnAOL : What should I looke like then?
Censored SN : Uh, in RP terms? A woman. With a penis. xD
SomeDudeOnAOL : Ah. So not a guy face then?
Censored SN : Nope. That's the charm of the "fantasy" herm.
SomeDudeOnAOL : Are you into oral?
Censored SN : I'm into a lot of things.
SomeDudeOnAOL : Great. So a quality role play though.
SomeDudeOnAOL : Fantasy? Science Fiction?
Censored SN : Well, at this time of night, I basically just mean detailed, as opposed to quality in story.
SomeDudeOnAOL : Detailed? What do you mean?
Censored SN : As in, it could be very detailed, descriptive herm on girl smut, or detailed, descriptive, plot-based herm on girl smut.
SomeDudeOnAOL : Oh. Are you male or female?
Censored SN : Female.
SomeDudeOnAOL : Oh good.
SomeDudeOnAOL : Who starts?
Censored SN : I'm curious. Why don't you?
SomeDudeOnAOL : Sure.
SomeDudeOnAOL : Susan B. Anthony was taking her shower, her clothes were on the tiled floor, and her nakedness revealed she had a penis, testicles, a vagina, and more obviously breasts on her chest. She didn't know if anyone was at home or not.
Censored SN : A giant turtle stomps its way clumsily into the bathroom, sniffing Susan out and approaching her eagerly. It headbutts the shower door and breaks it, climbing inside and begins mounting the shower-taking herm. It doesn't like the way her human body is shaped though, and quickly dismounts just as soon as it mounted. It then proceeds to tuck its head away and beat the woman creature with the front of its shell out of frustration.
SomeDudeOnAOL : lol
Censored SN : (Your turn!)
SomeDudeOnAOL : ttyl

Another few tidbits from the library of Censored SN. God, these never get old to me. Hopefully you all still find teh funneh in them, too.


Censored SN: I'd ask if it was you, but you typically don't talk about coagulated seed in your character profiles.
A Shadowed Smile: Funny-sounding word usage, that.
A Shadowed Smile: Probably one of them lame-ass purple-prosers.
A Shadowed Smile: Well. Didn't seem so when I looked at the profile earlier.
Censored SN: I dunno what that means.
Censored SN: Elaborate for the high school drop out.

-----

A Shadowed Smile: She's insane. She has dissassociative personality syndrome.
Censored SN: Yeah, you told me about it.
A Shadowed Smile: Two personalities are just weird. One has the physical alterations to her body.
A Shadowed Smile: It's just that nobody has ever triggered that third personality~
Censored SN: YOU TOLD ME ABOUT IT.
A Shadowed Smile: Yes, yes, yes.
Censored SN: I still vote for horse semen (as the trigger, obv).
A Shadowed Smile: Why horse, in particular?
Censored SN: The question you should be asking (yourself) is why not.
A Shadowed Smile: But how many horses do you see in RP?
A Shadowed Smile: I mean, c'mon.

-----

Censored SN: What character are you playing?
A Shadowed Smile: Adrianna De`Seis
Censored SN: How many freakin' characters do you have?

-----

Censored SN: There's a Rabbit Hole profile for a female Dwarf Priest. xD
A Shadowed Smile: XD
A Shadowed Smile: I bet "macroism" is on there!
Censored SN: No, actually!
Censored SN: All of the nasty fetishes are, though.
Censored SN: A scatological Dwarf. That's troubling.

-----

Censored SN: I've found a type of anthro that makes me shiver.
Censored SN: In the non-fun way.

-----

A Shadowed Smile: Is it an MMO or something?
Censored SN: No, just online. Four player maximum.
A Shadowed Smile: Ever try to do some kind of Cybersex in the game, hiding from demons and zombies and stuff?
A Shadowed Smile: RP with one of them playing a herm and all, and humping by clicking the duck button in quick succession? ;D
Censored SN: No, but I aim up and down while behind someone to make it look like I'm stroking their sides, or equip a shotgun and use it as a giant dildo.
A Shadowed Smile: Hawtt.
Censored SN: And then fire it to signify the explosive orgasm while using the "yes" emote.
Censored SN: And then an emotionless "Thank you" before going about my business.

(then)

Censored SN: There's little ad libs in the game. I was playing Cindy, this waitress girl. I heard someone getting bitten by a zombie somewhere in the room, so I called out their name and used one of the random ad libs. Cindy just happened to say, "George! There's no time to cry..."
Censored SN: Ahhh...that was fuuuunny.
A Shadowed Smile: O.o
Censored SN: WASN'T IT?
A Shadowed Smile: I will confess, I did not get it.
Censored SN: While you're getting bit by a zombie, someone tells you, "there's no time to cry."
Censored SN: PRICELESS.
A Shadowed Smile: Uh...
Censored SN: A woman, telling a man, that "there's no time to cry," while he's being attacked by a flesh eating zombie. HOW DON'T YOU SEE THE HUMOR?

-----

Random Player: Dispari could never be mean!
Censored SN: Never?!
Random Player: Probably not.
Censored SN: Then what use are you to me?! : P
Random Player: Don't try and corrupt me!
Censored SN: But you'd have sooo much fuuun being meeeaaan. Peer pressure, peer pressure.
Random Player: Sheep can't be mean! Sheep are blissfully unaware!
Censored SN: You can pass it off as deep seeded, inherent rage due to all of those perverted, lonely farmers.
Random Player: Nooooo!
Random Player: The farmers... always... no!
Random Player: *cry!*
Censored SN: They took advantage of all of her 'blissfully' unaware ancestors and used them as fluffy meat sleeves. It's perfectly logical that she'd have some issues!
Random Player: Actually Dispari comes from a noble family that barely let her out of her room. =p
Censored SN: She can tell herself that all she wants, but that doesn't mean it never happened.
Random Player: *cry!*

Link posted because I didn't feel like changing the formatting of an AIM log from HTML to the BB codes used here.

http://eve-dot-com.livejournal.com/141055.html

'Scuse the typo-ese. I'm not very coherent when multitasking between two computers.

Yay for more goodness from Censored SN. These were sent in patches of huge logs. I'd love to post them in their entirety, but unfortunately I don't want to make people sit here reading non-stop. So-- some highlights.

Edit: Censored SN contacted me about not having the logs put up in their entirety. While I agree that they lost something -- a lot of something -- by not being put up like that, it also saved space and time. Regardless, per her wishes, I took down the RP-related ones.


Some Yahoo! yahoo: excuse me miss but have you ever kicked a guy in the balls for fun
Censored SN: Well, duh. I've also trained my dog to rip them off and eat them with peanut butter. Hot, huh?
Some Yahoo! yahoo: lol oh yeah..
Some Yahoo! yahoo: love your high heels
Censored SN: I like sticking fire crackers in a guy's urethra and lighting it.
Some Yahoo! yahoo: lol ok i can see you dont wanna talk
Censored SN: Wait, wait. Can I shave the skin of your scrotum off and fashion it into a glove?
Some Yahoo! yahoo: lol im sorry to bother you

And now, for true and scary, awfully legitimate WTFery: Random IMs happen. People will just, for whatever reason, find your name and shoot the message to you. More often than not, it's not even personalized. It's a pre-typed, boxed question that they copy/paste to a lot of different people in hopes of finding someone who will actually do it. Most of the time, it's for really, really... really... really sick stuff. Like this:

Some Perv on AOL: (you want to rp like you are my babysitter and I am a 13 year old boy and you take advantage of me? If you are here is the story: my father is a wealthy man and you, knowing you can get a lot of money out of it, agree to watch me for a few days alone in the house. When you get there you find that you are extremely horny but cant leave me alone so you satisfy yourself with me.

You wont just straight out tell me to strip or anything heh you will do things like accidently letting me see your breasts or give me a bath and "wash" me in certain areas longer than is necessary. interested?) if you arent interested in this i will leave you alone and appologize.

Seriously, now. W T F?! It might not be teh funneh, but I still felt the urge and compulsion to share with you all. <3 :D

Vega050: he came running with Ninja like speed into the Market nd up to where the Clock Tower
once stood, he stopped and started to check around the area for more items to aid in his
investigation::
soless: Pro-active, aren't you? The clown stood beside a closed stall with crossed arms, a hand
before her mouth holding an apple with one crunch out of it
Vega050: ::he stood and aimed his blade to the person::...dont address me untill you are given
premission to....
soless: The clown continued to munch her apple. Disaffected, really.
Vega050: ::he sheathed his buster sword and leaped back towards the Clock Tower::
soless: A case for the asylum, surely, she thought. Another bite of the apple.
Vega050: ::after a few Hand signs he was invisible and started searching the wreckage::
soless: Surely, she repeated under her breath, with a slippery smile.