A journal sat open on the desk in Alana's room. She had been looking at it for a solid fifteen minutes before she picked up the pen and slowly began tapping its cap onto the books blank pages. She had been informed that this could be good for her. So reluctantly she began to write down a few thoughts.

July The Twenty First
Today was a bit more of hassle than I thought it was going to be. I still havent woken my husband and it is becoming apparent that I will have to keep the Nanny on longer than I had originally thought. Gaven and I played for longer than usual. I havent been giving him enough time lately. Too much work and not enough family. Sometimes I dont know what to do with the work/family situation. I suppose it will be best to discuss this with Feilas when he finally wakes up... I guess I shouldnt begrudge him the rest. But I just wish he was able to be here so I could bounce a few ideas back and forth at him.

Work is also a little strange these days. I really upset Morgan last week. I guess I am taking this whole Feilas thing a bit harder than I should be. I really should just Calm down about the whole situation and let things be the way they are going to be. I suppose if he was his old healthy self Id be fine. Maybe soon...Maybe not. I dont know what I will do if he loses his wings. Without his wings there is no more immortality, Ill have to spend my life watching him grow old and die...Gods thats the last thing I could handle. Let alone Gaven...He misses his Dad already. I cant imagine him not being able to see him. Alright so all of this writing isnt making me feel any better...actually I feel worse. Maybe Ill give this a rest for a while.

She gently laid the pen down on the desk and shut the journal slowly slipping it back onto the shelves with her necromancy books. Eyeing it only once before leaning back in the chair to daydream.

September the Second

So I have decided that leaving the house may be the best idea for me at this point. He isnt here and I dont think he is going to be coming back. Im living with nothing more than a memory of how things once were and a mirror image of the love I had once.

On a lighter note Gaven is speaking more often now and work has mellowed out some. The days are getting shorter as Rhydin fall approuches and I cant help but smile in anticipation of the colors changing around here. I have planned a little trip for the baby and I. If I could find Will I would invite him as well. Im sure we would all have an amazing time.

Starting over for the umteeth time is proving less fruitfull than I would like. But slow and steady I am making the adjustments. Perhaps after a bit longer Ill be able to take the larger steps needed to get myself back to good.

Well I dont much know what else to put down so I suppose I am done with this entry for now. Perhaps Ill keep this up from now on. Perhaps not. We shall see.