"That's not the problem here. It's been you."
I don't need your protection, Katt. I don't need either of you to do anything for me; because all along, it's been you two that's been driving me through a brick wall of raw emotions. Your constant claims of 'protection' has done nothing short of cause more problems. Meanwhile, you're nuts about Toby, who you think has something for me. I, on the other hand, have no feelings for him. So even were it true, it's a waste of energy to sit around and cry how he doesn't love you. Here's a solution. Try not being like a jerk and thinking something's wrong. The secret here is to not be so crazy, and maybe he'll actually like you for who you are. You're so busy crying and giving him a headache, he can't see anything but your negativity. And since he'll never get with me like you think he just might, you have nothing to worry about. Is it so hard? Or is the idea of being with him not in your best interest?"
Words had never clawed so deeply into her very core before. Coming from Mayu in such a fashion made her want to just disappear. Even if Mayu didn't understand the words stung so massively. It didn't help that she was completely alone in the conversation.
Why did it have to end up that way?
Why did Mayu have to throw the necklace Toby gave her like she had?
It was sort of ironic really. She being afraid that he would leave because she angered Mayu. And in the end..that is exactly what happened. She wasn't sure if it was hatred she heard in his voice but she was pretty sure it was close to it. His words after Mayu left were nothing short of heated blades into her very soul.
Stay away from me.
The emotion that came after that was like a violent burst. She had to watch as he hasted away out of sight, sickened with being near her. Stay away from him? Forever..? She wasn't sure.. All she knew was her state of being had deteriorate before the conversation, thus why she was going to rest. But this..This destroyed her. Pain raised high then ..snap. It was like a slow filtration of being emptied out. She felt ..cold.
She had managed to tuck herself into a corner of a stall's deep shadows, body curled up as she cried into the early hours. She fell asleep crying and woke some time later. Wet. Melted snow and what have you was cold around her. It didn't matter..
Standing she shook off the coat so it didn't get any more wet and started down the street. She didn't know what to do. The problem, as Mayu said, was her. So ..she should remove the problem right? Toby would want that too. He didn't want her around him..So if she was gone..Mayu would be happy. Toby could go back to being around her and not worry about Katt's stupid feelings.
As things stood currently..That seemed the right choice. Motions became empty as she moved, mind blacked out as she was doing. It hurt too much and yet at the same time she couldn't feel anything. It was disturbing in a way.
A thicket of heavy parcel paper was bought and the coat carefully wrapped up in it. Tears strolled down her cheeks as she continued on her way with the package in tow. She stopped into Ichiraku and the serving girl blinked at her as she offered over the package.
"The..man ..I came with before..give this to him..p..please.."
The serving girl seem irritated but by the looks of Katt she didn't give her much of a hard time. "I am not a delivery girl."
"I know..but..please.." Katt managed to croak out painfully. Her throat hurt..It was a struggle to hold out the coat towards the girl.
"Are you okay hun? You look horr-" she tried to take the package from Katt.
Katt turned away before the girl could finish, yanking the package and holding it close to her chest. She was already slipping out. Arms folded across the packaged coat as she looked around the market. Maybe..hoping..
Turning she started off to where she would go. Denise's cabin.
The path there was far too long and sluggish. Along the way she was stopped by an annoyance. She noticed the man that Mayu had been..flirting with? Really..Katt wasn't sure how to consider what she had witnessed between Mayu and the man. Specially when she heard Mayu tell the guy how lucky she would be to have a boyfriend like him to bring home. And yet Mayu said she had no interest? Why was he bothering her? He kept getting in her way. Trying to help her. She didn't want help! She just wanted to go to the cabin and hide away until she was able to rest decently and figure what to do.
The cold, empty feeling she felt made it easy to deal with him and the other figure that attempted to help her. This other figure posed a offering that she felt herself almost accepting. A knife dropped at her feet telling her to kill herself..
It had been considered..
She was the problem after all..
Nothing more then a headache..
She just..wanted to go to Denise's cabin and sleep. Why did he have to continue getting in the way. Like he cared. Like anyone really gave a shit about her..
She finally was able to get away from him but only after a sort of agreement. One she didn't exactly plan on dealing with anytime soon.
Milky fleshed and strength nearly gone by the time she reached the cabin. The hole was still there. It didn't bother her. Pushing the door open she stared across the small building towards the bed. Her heart clenched up into her throat at the sight of it. For the first time since she woke up she had a stew of emotions. Turning her eyes away she crept to a corner and tucked herself to the wall. Legs pulled close to her chest and face buried against the package that had been placed against the bend of her knees.
She didn't know what to do..
Would she really lose him forever? Would she..go back to the darkness that he unknowingly pulled her from?
Was her protection, as Mayu said, really a problem? Was she really a headache to him?
What she did know was the cold abyss that was starting to wrap her.
I don't need your protection, Katt. I don't need either of you to do anything for me; because all along, it's been you two that's been driving me through a brick wall of raw emotions. Your constant claims of 'protection' has done nothing short of cause more problems. Meanwhile, you're nuts about Toby, who you think has something for me. I, on the other hand, have no feelings for him. So even were it true, it's a waste of energy to sit around and cry how he doesn't love you. Here's a solution. Try not being like a jerk and thinking something's wrong. The secret here is to not be so crazy, and maybe he'll actually like you for who you are. You're so busy crying and giving him a headache, he can't see anything but your negativity. And since he'll never get with me like you think he just might, you have nothing to worry about. Is it so hard? Or is the idea of being with him not in your best interest?"
Words had never clawed so deeply into her very core before. Coming from Mayu in such a fashion made her want to just disappear. Even if Mayu didn't understand the words stung so massively. It didn't help that she was completely alone in the conversation.
Why did it have to end up that way?
Why did Mayu have to throw the necklace Toby gave her like she had?
It was sort of ironic really. She being afraid that he would leave because she angered Mayu. And in the end..that is exactly what happened. She wasn't sure if it was hatred she heard in his voice but she was pretty sure it was close to it. His words after Mayu left were nothing short of heated blades into her very soul.
Stay away from me.
The emotion that came after that was like a violent burst. She had to watch as he hasted away out of sight, sickened with being near her. Stay away from him? Forever..? She wasn't sure.. All she knew was her state of being had deteriorate before the conversation, thus why she was going to rest. But this..This destroyed her. Pain raised high then ..snap. It was like a slow filtration of being emptied out. She felt ..cold.
She had managed to tuck herself into a corner of a stall's deep shadows, body curled up as she cried into the early hours. She fell asleep crying and woke some time later. Wet. Melted snow and what have you was cold around her. It didn't matter..
Standing she shook off the coat so it didn't get any more wet and started down the street. She didn't know what to do. The problem, as Mayu said, was her. So ..she should remove the problem right? Toby would want that too. He didn't want her around him..So if she was gone..Mayu would be happy. Toby could go back to being around her and not worry about Katt's stupid feelings.
As things stood currently..That seemed the right choice. Motions became empty as she moved, mind blacked out as she was doing. It hurt too much and yet at the same time she couldn't feel anything. It was disturbing in a way.
A thicket of heavy parcel paper was bought and the coat carefully wrapped up in it. Tears strolled down her cheeks as she continued on her way with the package in tow. She stopped into Ichiraku and the serving girl blinked at her as she offered over the package.
"The..man ..I came with before..give this to him..p..please.."
The serving girl seem irritated but by the looks of Katt she didn't give her much of a hard time. "I am not a delivery girl."
"I know..but..please.." Katt managed to croak out painfully. Her throat hurt..It was a struggle to hold out the coat towards the girl.
"Are you okay hun? You look horr-" she tried to take the package from Katt.
Katt turned away before the girl could finish, yanking the package and holding it close to her chest. She was already slipping out. Arms folded across the packaged coat as she looked around the market. Maybe..hoping..
Turning she started off to where she would go. Denise's cabin.
The path there was far too long and sluggish. Along the way she was stopped by an annoyance. She noticed the man that Mayu had been..flirting with? Really..Katt wasn't sure how to consider what she had witnessed between Mayu and the man. Specially when she heard Mayu tell the guy how lucky she would be to have a boyfriend like him to bring home. And yet Mayu said she had no interest? Why was he bothering her? He kept getting in her way. Trying to help her. She didn't want help! She just wanted to go to the cabin and hide away until she was able to rest decently and figure what to do.
The cold, empty feeling she felt made it easy to deal with him and the other figure that attempted to help her. This other figure posed a offering that she felt herself almost accepting. A knife dropped at her feet telling her to kill herself..
It had been considered..
She was the problem after all..
Nothing more then a headache..
She just..wanted to go to Denise's cabin and sleep. Why did he have to continue getting in the way. Like he cared. Like anyone really gave a shit about her..
She finally was able to get away from him but only after a sort of agreement. One she didn't exactly plan on dealing with anytime soon.
Milky fleshed and strength nearly gone by the time she reached the cabin. The hole was still there. It didn't bother her. Pushing the door open she stared across the small building towards the bed. Her heart clenched up into her throat at the sight of it. For the first time since she woke up she had a stew of emotions. Turning her eyes away she crept to a corner and tucked herself to the wall. Legs pulled close to her chest and face buried against the package that had been placed against the bend of her knees.
She didn't know what to do..
Would she really lose him forever? Would she..go back to the darkness that he unknowingly pulled her from?
Was her protection, as Mayu said, really a problem? Was she really a headache to him?
What she did know was the cold abyss that was starting to wrap her.