▪?▪ A Choice - Dated 11.21 (taken from Log) ▪?▪

She had been standing in the spot for a while now, staring..no...glaring at the spot where an annoying man had been. Rhy'Din had it's fair share of idiots. No it had more then it's fair share!

Ixora removed her hand from the fountain, frustrated that the water wasn't aiding her so well now that the blood was no longer moist and warm against her skin. She began to walk away, she would scrub when she got home and had soap to assist her. She began to walk away, sky blue irises settled on a familiar armored figure. "Hey, Katt." She called out to the female and began to close the distance, her blood free hand moved to pull the sleeve of her tunic down to conceal the tainted one and she adjusted the fabric of the mantle to drape over it as well.

Katt's head snapped to one side hearing the familiar voice. After looking at the spot again to scold she finally turned fully towards Ixxy. She was far too quick to flash Ixxy a smile. "Hey Ixora. How do you faring th.." Blink. Blood. Not Ixxy's. She didn't ask but instead leaned on her heels. "How are you fairing this evening?

"I'm alright, I suppose." She answered though she seemed uncertain, "I was hopin' to find you before you left," she informed Katt as though to explain away her presence. "And what o' you? Your day findin' you well?"

Katt sighed under the helm and turned her head from Ixora. "I do not know. My day hasn't been all that great..but I've had worse so I cannot complain?" Lips pursed a bit then relaxed.
"Someone..Someone asked me to marry them.."

She began to frown and then her lips twitched up as curiosity flooded her and she canted her head off at an angle, tilting it as she peered at Katt suspiciously. "Who?"

"Remember when we were in Unity the white haired one who nearly tackled me? His name is Aren. He is the son of Oda. He's the one.."

She scratched at the back of her head as she mulled that over. The white haired one who had tackled to her... "He wasn't bad lookin'," she teased. "He love you?" She pursed her lips together, "How do you feel about him? Did you say yes?" She searched for Katt's left hand while she waited for her answers.

"Mm.." She considered Ixora's words, thinking on Aren's looks. Really she hadn't considered it. He was a handsome young man. Seeing Ixora looking at her hand she slowly drifted the hand to the other to rub at the ring finger. Sighing she shook her head. " It's..I don't know how to start explaining.."

"Jus' tell me whatever you think o' first, I want to know more." She knew that Katt ached for Toby's affection though the love was apparently unrequited. That and they didn't belong in his life anymore. That had been made crystal clear. "I'm a good listener. If it's a long story then I don't mind."

A motion with her hand and she turned, starting to walk towards the fountain. "I've known Aren for a few years.. He's just fourteen but he's been harboring this crush for me. But he knows..always has known about ..him." She didn't make it to the fountain however. Instead took to leaning against a stall's wall.- He's persistent too. He's been leaving me gifts for the past few weeks. I guess leading up to the question."

"Only ten and four," she mused absently and and raked her finger across her chin thoughtfully and left it to rest their. Brows furrowed together, "And what o' the proposal? Did you decline him or...?"

Lips pursed as she stared at her feet. "I don't know..I haven't declined or accepted. He has made it clear that he doesn't want to marry me for affection. He wants me to marry him in hopes that maybe one day I may love him but in the end it is more to place me in position and power. So that his family line continues strong."

"Do you think you'll accept?" Ixora inquired. She didn't seem to be bothered or swayed at all about marrying over power. That was what some of the people of Ashenbark often did. Well... The men married the woman who could offer them the best dowry. It was a similar concept if not the same.

Mayu..had wanted him to try and talk to Ixora..he didn't know why. But that was only reason why he was there..sort of. For he wasn't in the immediate vicinity, but bathed in the shadows of a nearby alley, back to the wall, hands in the pockets of a, finally, fresh pair of jeans. He..had had enough of blood..for a while. Toby's ears were trained towards the conversation that was taking place some feet away from him. But he stayed there. After all, he didn't promise Mayu that he would go through with it..not even that he would try. And..she wasn't here to see him.

"I ..don't know. I feel it would be unfair to Aren. My heart will never belong to him. But he seems fine with that. He's still young. I don't want him to regret his decision. But..At the same time.." Lifting her head she smirked a bit at Ixxy. "I'm not like you. I don't have men throwing themselves at my feet. In fact..Aren's sort of been the only one who's ever seemed to ..like me like that..He's the only one who's ever really giving me a gift." Her eyes lowered back to the ground. There was a small hint of guilt in her voice.

Toby was glad the vial around his neck wasn't glowing. It had been emptied earlier, the last drops given to Mayu. Now..he would have nothing when.. At least it wouldn't give him away. He still wore it, could still feel it resting on his chest when he breathed. Brows folded in a soft scowl as he listened, he resisted the urge to rub at his twinging chest..and failed.

"It might pain him that you don't love him, but I'm sure you could tell him what you said to me and explain how things are." She folded her arms across her chest. "Perhaps he will still want to claim you as his own." She pitied Katt to an extent, "It may be selfish. But do what you desire to do."

"It doesn't matter what I want to do.." She scoffed, fingers twinging in the want to shove down her helm. "He knows I don't love him. He knows I love..that my heart will always hold him ..Probably till the day I die. Again." She chuckled and rubbed her chest thoughtfully. "I seem to almost die a lot..Anyways..Aren knows how I feel which is why he gave me time to think about it. I wanted to come ask you before I permanently take my leave. I value your opinion."

"Permanently.." He couldn't stop himself from muttering it. If he said it, it would be true..that didn't make it any..easier..to hear. This place..she had always been a fixture in it. It would be..weird..without that. Then again, he didn't have to worry about it for much longer. It was better that way. She..wouldn't even know.

"If you can't have love then power ain't so bad an option... But if bein' with Aren hurts you more then I don't want you to..." She trailed off and fastened her gaze on Katt's features.

Katt chuckled and after a moment worked the helm off so she could come back the colorless hair from her face. "Yeah ..scary thought though. Me? A future queen? Can you imagine the classes I'd have to sit through..I'd have to make sure no to lose it and smack someone." Nose wrinkled she stared down at the helm. "It doesn't matter what I do. I'll always ache. My life has always been a constant darkness with a few spots of light. Bittersweet how hewas always the light in my life despite how I was treated." Shaking her head she looked up and forced a smile for Ixxy. "You realize just because I am not coming back doesn't mean I won't come visit you. I will not abandon you... My promise and word."

Toby grunted softly..whether it was from what he heard, or that he was gripping his chest with enough force to break skin..wasn't clear.

"As long as you don't make me go to any o' those horrid balls," she warned Katt and scrunched her nose up to show her disapproval of such things. Not only would she not want to wear a dress, but she would have to learn how to dance. "Unless it's nobles only," she added hopefully. She was of noble blood, but her background would have never suggested such. She had nearly forgotten that fact.

Katt laughed at the thought. "Me in one of those horrible ballgowns?! Almost as bad of a thought as me being queen..." Fingers captured a strain of her hair and she stared at the whiteness. "You know I could always hook you and Aren up. You think he's cute..I am sure I can work it out some how.."

"The elf plans to court me," she informed Katt. Juri had tried to lay his claim on her as well, but he wasn't mentioned because of how long he had been gone. And Gale... She wasn't positive about how he viewed her. "I think..." She trailed off. "I suppose that if you wanted to introduce us in a more formal manner and maybe allow me to get to know him first then I could consider." Her brows furrowed together, "I'll be six and twenty in two weeks time though. That would put me at ten and two years his senior."

Date noted! Katt grinned a bit. "In a few more months it will place me at six years over him. You really can't tell his age. Altian's seem to grow tall quick." Fingers stretched over the helm as she glanced to the ground. "I don't know what I am going to do. I know that this will be the last night I remain though. I can't stay here and keep making his life miserable. He deserves to be happy.."

Twenty-six..five years older. Two weeks. Would he be around for it? Would it matter? What would he even.. He shook his head softly, silent laughs only evident by the puffs of steam before his nose.

"Perhaps," she exhaled a deep breath. "Perhaps I should keep out o' Rhy'din for the most part and keep to my place after you leave then. He doesn't want me around either." She fidgeted with the buckle on her vest, the clasp was pulled open and snapped back into place.

Toby should have explained it differently..made it..seem like he was the one that should go. His head tilted, he looked out across the small clearing of the market. He could see the fountain, the figures nearby. They would have tried..to stop him either way..::

Fingers turned into the enchanted steel as if attempting to crush it. "It..inf...infuriates me! That he thinks it's okay to just abandon those that care about him. I've gone to war for people I don't even give a shyt for..." Sighing she tried to release the anger so it wouldn't spread. Poor helm had dents. Great... "I know he wants to protect us. And I do appreciate it. It's sweet. But to shove us away like he has hurts more then any wound anyone could ever give. It hurts me to know that he is in danger and there is not a damn thing I can do. Makes me want to..just..urg.." Shakes her helm at the air in front of her. Yes..strangling the helmet.

If she knew..then why wouldn't she just..let him. It was hard to keep doing it. He..wanted it to be over. He wished for it daily. His knees were turning to water..they shook to hold him up. He gritted his teeth, fought for his upright posture..the hand at his chest had stopped rubbing long ago, but it was shaking with tension.

"He's in danger," she echoed absently as though she hadn't been privy to this information. Her voice dropped to a more hushed manner though was still just as audible. "I want to protect him too... But I don't think he appreciates it." Her gaze dropped to the ground. It was hard for her to cope with the fact that his life had been threatened and she had told him that much, but he went to the enemy. She was seen as evil for trying to ensure that he saw no harm. That was something that she would never forgive him for.

"I know why he doesn't want me around. I screwed up things long ago." The helm had plenty of dents now and she sighed as she relaxed on it. "I wonder if he knew the whole story if it would even matter." It was more to herself then to Ixora. Shrugging she looked to her and smiled a bit. "I wonder if he even takes into consideration how we feel. I mean more then you then I." She knew how Toby adored Ixxy. Probably another reason she was just a touch jealous of the woman.

She wanted to vent, she needed to though she knew that Katt's mood would only worsen if she spoke of Toby any longer. Still, she couldn't resist the query. "What story?"

She knew Ixora wanted to vent too. Wasn't fair if only she could so in truth she was awaiting for her to. "Erm..well..When Toby finally realized what I was he sort of..acted different. He kept visiting me to bring me food but I hadn't fed in so long that I was ..dying. I mean really dying..He came in bleeding but he was also being followed by a creature that called itself Batosai. Which had all intentions on eating Toby once he left the cave." Lowering the helm to her lap her eyes lowered to the ground. "Not even a few hours before that we had promised each other to take care of each other and never abandon each other no matter what. And..I..I took his blood because I wanted to protect him." She was blushing. Quite brightly. "I remember it very well. He seemed so happy and at peace. He slept in my lap and nuzzled his face into my stomach. He didn't remember anything come morning. But by then I had stepped out to fight the creature. Damn thing about skewered me to the ground..But be damned if I would let it have him...Heh..the creature kept calling me half-dead. I suppose...I am..And I guess maybe I shouldn't of told Toby that I fed from him but I've never lied to him and I didn't want to start and have him find out. It would of been..worse..Not that it matters I suppose. He found out and called me monster..called me disgusting. From there it's...always been like that."

"You fed on Toby so you would have the strength to keep him safe," she mused absently as understanding registered on her features. "I understand why you would want to tell him though, he might have acted harsher had you not." She nodded her head slowly, "It's gettin' late and I need to head home so I suppose this is goodbye for now. She reached into her mantle and removed a paper from a pocket in the lining. She thrust her hand forward. "I want you to write me if you won't be able to visit me every so often."

When it came down to it..it was really all a matter of always being food. He had escaped the Yoma that had devoured its way through the town..only to be chosen as prey for some animal..then fed upon by a friend. He wondered what it was about him that made him seem so edible. He..didn't look tasty. He didn't even *taste* tasty. He slid down the wall, a loud scratch as the leather clung to the bricks. He pulled his knees up to his chest, rested his head on them. She was..leaving. He could..lie to Mayu. It wasn't as hard as he thought.. Then again, he'd tried last night. She was..very smart. He liked that. It meant that he didn't have to say much..and she would know what he was talking about.

"Ixora." Pushing to stand she looked at her. "Don't leave. Because then I won't know where to find you. I..won't leave completely if you don't..okay? I'll take up your offer on the room.." Hey depends on who you talk to. His kiss was sugar sweet! Ahem. Anywho. She was fidgitting with the helmet. "I don't know what I am going to do about Aren...but I guess probably would be best if I just..accept him. Noone else is really going to love me anyways.."

Ixora nodded and reached for Katt's hand, turning the palm up and depositng the paper with the address there. "If you want the room," she nodded to the hand, "Then you can jus' show and knock. I wouldn't mind havin' someone in Kenny's old room. It can get lonely with jus' the mutt and myself." She offered a faint smile, "If you can be satisfied with Aren then go for it." She turned and made her leave. It really was getting late and she was dreadfully tired.

Toby combed his fingers through his hair, feeling it flatten, then sprout back up..ran his palms over his face..rubbed at it. His eyes were burning as much as his chest. It..really needed to end. That way..he wouldn't have to know how much he was really..destroying them.

"Satisfied..." Lowering her eyes to the paper. Fingers curled to it and she frowned. Looking up she watched Ixora walk off before looking down at her helm. Visibly flinching at the dents she muttered. "Shit..Tyb is going to have my head.." Sighing the helm was tucked under arm and she looked to the sky. Where was a shooting star when you needed one? Ixora was telling her to go for it..the fortune teller was..was that to be her fate? "At least he can be happy..that's what matters.."

Toby..didn't want to let on that he was there..so he stayed, trying to fold down into himself, hands clasped at the back of his neck like he was readying for a tornado. He closed his eyes, and breathed out a deep, quiet sigh. His breath was hot on his face.

Ah there was one! A shooting star. And with that star she muttered something that had been set in her mind for a long time. Poetic prayer if you will. Finally bowing her head she turned and started towards the fountain. "Guess I should leave too now."

She..wanted him to make up with his friends. But he didn't really see how that was possible. It no longer had anything to do with what any of them were..what he was..but more along the lines of what he'd done. And for all of it..he still couldn't.. He couldn't feel any semblance of calm..it was gone. Thoughts were swirling in his head..the pain in his chest hadn't disappeared. He needed to..

"Meh..that kid still has my cloak. I guess I can get a new one.." Lifting a hand in front of her it swiftly jerked to the side while she muttered some words of recall. The air hummed and pulled as the portal formed. One last look was made around the familiar marketplace. A quiet sound rumbled her chest as she rubbed at it and started for the portal.

"Shit." Toby said to his knees..jolting up to his feet. It was a mistake. The blood hadn't moved, and he sort of stumbled out of the alley..not the image that he wanted to make. His ankles felt like rubber..and he had nothing to hold onto. He walked the first several feet out into the open like a stooping old man, rubbing and beating at his thighs.

Katt's head tilted at the familiar voice and for a brief moment she paused. Looking over her shoulder she looked around until her pupiless eyes found..him. She smiled softly. A smile of endearment before she simply turned away and back to the portal. She would not cause him any more pain. No matter how much she wanted to stay and speak to him. It wasn't right for her to.

He had words on his tongue, ready to speak them..mouth open..hand reaching out. Then he sighed softly. She was..doing what he wanted. He shouldn't tell her to stop. So he didn't. He'd heard..she was staying with Ixora. That was..it lightened some of the pressure in his chest. His right hand found his heart, left hand settling in his pocket..a whispered 'Congratulations.' floating into the cold air. He backpedaled..and turned for the alley.

She stiffened hearing that word on the air. He had been listening. Head jerking to one side she watched him run into the alley. "Wait..." It was a weak plead and one she figured he would not hear. He had heard..She felt a lump in her throat.

He paused, one foot off the ground, held there..head turning over his shoulder. He just barely saw her out of the corner of his eye..white hair..eyes..different. He shuddered. The last time she'd looked different..

She looked away so he wouldn't see her face twist up. She felt like crying. Hard. "Don't congratulate me. I haven't decided and it's not out of love." Shoulders slouched under the steel. "Will you ..be happy...for the both of us?"

"I don't know." He hadn't met whomever had offered her their hand..and he didn't think he would have an opinion either way unless he did. But..it wasn't going to happen. He didn't even think he wanted to.

"If I do it I do it for power..that's all I am good for anyways..destruction." She mused as she stared at the ground in front of her. "But I want you to be happy..That is why I am doing what you want. That is why Ixora is doing what you want."

"It's not..what I wanted." He still hadn't moved, his foot was still hovering..head turn over his shoulder. The mouth of the alley was beckoning him.

"What do you want..what do you think I should do.." Completely open she questioned him.

He didn't act like he wanted them to be..happy. He..knew that to an extent. But he couldn't make himself act like he did. The want was there but the feeling..absent. He pursed his lips, thinking it over. "To..go back to the way it was." He turned slightly on his heel..so he could see her. A soft shrug followed. "If you're asking for advice..you already have your answer."

"To go back to ..the way it was.." Her head dipped and her eyes closed as she chuckled though the tears dripped down her cheeks almost violently. "I wish I could do that for you." She blinked then and looked to him though remembering way too late she had been crying just seconds ago. "I have..my answer?"

"I don't think you want to go through with it." He said softly..finally lowering his foot. He didn't want to stay here..this long. But he wanted to say that to her. "You're asking us..for our opinion. You're stalling. That should..tell you something."

"I don't want to hurt anyone else..is that so wrong?" Her eyes drifted down to the ground. "My mind tells me it's rational. My heart tells me .." She left those words to die. He didn't need to hear it. Maybe that's why she wanted him to be happy.. Happy enough for the both of them. Suddenly her head lifted and she gave him a warm smile, despite her sorrow. "Besides..I've always valued the opinion of my friends. But I am sorry. I am keeping you." She turned away from him then.

"Go with your heart..Katt." His voice..seemed different. "You can always find something..to shut your mind up." She had let him go..he started for the alley, hand at his chest, massaging the muscle there. He was engulfed in shadows a moment later.

She choked very quietly at his words. Go with her heart. "Heh. I would but a certain thief stole off with it. I only listen of far away whispers.." Find a way to shut her mind up. Booze! Oh yeah she's going to be doing some of that tonight.

He was speaking in the more immediate terms..just about the engagement. He had a feeling..that it sounded like he meant there to be more. He took the first turn he came to..and headed off into the night.

No she knew what he meant and took it as such but her words remained true. Was hard to go with her heart when it was always on the move and didn't want her around. Heh. Shaking her head she considered his words and drifted through the portal. It hummed and snap..gone.