July 7th

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"?Nnnh, mnh? One--one eight-hundred? What time is--oh, hell no. Whoever this is, you'll find toads coming out your *** for waking me this early. I'd suggest picking up some Immodium AD."

CLICK

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"Thank you for calling one eight-hundred WARLOCK, you've reached Salome Mart?n at a moment of indisposition. If you'd so kindly?"

CLICK

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"Thank you for calling?"

CLICK

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"What in all the levels of Hell could you possibly want this early in the morning, you wart on a skunk's--"

"Salome."

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"?Cris?!"

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"You know those things with the dials and the numbers, sometimes in a sequence of three and four, with a colon in the middle? They're called clocks. I think it's time you invested in one."

"I'm sorry to wake you, I just--I had to know. I had to see. Are things alright there?"

"Heh. Let me get this straight, Cris. You called me, after an entire week. After I specifically told you not to. So far up into the crack of dawn that were there a God I would be able to tell you what he'd eaten for the last week. Just to see if I was alright?"

"You never said not to call you. You said 'Have a nice life.' Two completely separate things."

"Not at four in the morning, Crispin. What do you want?"

"There was a man here. A boy, really. He told the story of where he comes from, his home. It was Earth, Salome. Though now? Are you certain that things are alright there?"

"Alright in what sense?"

"What do you mean, in what sense? Either they're alright or they're not."

"In the way that your kind care about the world around them, Cris, they are exactly as you left them."

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"Thank the Angel?"

"The Angel? Oh ho, that's not something I've heard come out of your mouth in two months. Are you sure you haven't ruptured anything, keeping all that Divine Love inside?"

"Salome, I was serious."

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"Fine. I believe you. What else did this manboy say?"

"There was an entire list of things that went wrong on?on his Earth. All together, it sounded like the most ridiculous horror movie, but the way he spoke about it?"

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"You were really concerned, weren't you?"

"Why else would I have called?"

"You've got me there."

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"So what will you do?"

"About what?"

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"Nothing. According to your description, it seems like this manboy's Earth and ours are on completely separate planes, not even close to one another otherwise we would have felt some sort of effect. You can untwist your panties now."

"Thank you, Salome, I've been waiting on pins and needles for that command."

Laughter. "Are you done?"

"I believe so."

?

"I told you it would be good for you."

"I'm not so sure you're right yet."

"I am."

"Goodnight, Salome."

"Good morning, Cris."

CLICK

ONE NEW VOICE MESSAGE.

FIRST VOICE MESSAGE.

BEEP!

"Salome. I know you told me never to contact you again and I know I deserve that? And while you will also glare at your phone for several moments before you delete this message, I find myself needing to call you anyway.

"I was involved in a battle. Well. It was more like an alley brawl, but there was plenty of blood. I suffered only minor injuries, not that that's relevant. The grenades of holy water you always used to make for us worked wonders.

"There are Night Children even here. I should not be surprised for I think I've seen demons even during my short time here.

"I've no idea why but they had come after a woman that has been rather kind to me. I jumped into the fray without a second thought."

?

"There is something about this town, the newness of it that is beginning to seep into me. I'm unsure of whether or not I enjoy it or am terrified of it. I came to begin to forget and to start again without the influence of anything I've known before.

"But I can't rid myself of these Marks. I've tried to abandon my gear and seraph blades several times, but I can't stand their distance for longer than a few hours.

"I cannot change who or what I am. And I do not know why I need to feel safe. Safety is a luxury that should not be available to me, and yet here I am."

?

"I've thought a lot about you lately, and of her, and what she would think were she to see me as I am now.

"It's lonely."

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"Goodbye, Salome."

CLICK

July 28th

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"Salome."

"Cris."

"I?you called."

"Looks that way."

"But?"

"Let's not make a huge deal out of it. You called me, asked for my help. Simple as that."

"Heh. Will you charge me?"

"Depends how interested I am in your case. Tell me what you saw."

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"I don't know what I saw anymore."

"Do you know her name?"

"No."

"God, you suck. Well, what was she?"

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"Beautiful."

"I don't mean that. What was she? A Mundane, a Vampire, a Werewolf, what?"

"As far as I could tell, Mundane. I didn't exactly look very long."

"Congratulations, you don't have a ghost problem. Or a reincarnation problem, for that matter."

"You knew that all along, didn't you?"

"So did you, Cris, you just needed reassurance."

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"I could have sworn it was her, Salome. Nothing about this woman's appearance is in any way different than Bianca's."

"But that's all it was, Cris. You know that. There are hundreds, thousands of planes of existence and hundreds of thousands of genetic possibilities. Isn't it possible that someone's genetic code could mix with another's in just the right way to recreate the appearance of someone completely foreign to them?"

"Of course you're right."

"Thank you. I mean, hell. You have a twin running around somewhere, so do I. And you always knew there could never be two Biancas. Either in one world or several."

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"I am an idiot."

"Don't make it too easy for me to agree with you, Cris."

"I should have known, Salome. I shouldn't have jumped to any conclusion, I shouldn't have?"

"Hey. Relax. This road of should have, would have, could have was what drove you to where you are now. Don't forget that."

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"You're right. Yes?"

"This must have really shaken you up. You admitted I was right twice in one minute."

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"It's not the only thing bothering you, is it?"

"No."

"What else is there?"

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"You're on the clock here, hotshot. Client to representative, nothing more."

"I mentioned a woman in the first voicemail I left you. The one who was kind to me, who was attacked by vampires."

"I remember."

"Her name is Gem. She was attacked again, though this time she nearly lost her life."

"You know, that sounds like a pattern."

"By the same group of vampires. There is something bigger going on, a fued or a war between the side that Gem has chosen to back, and the Night Children."

"Can't she protect herself?"

"Tch, yes. But anyone will go down if they are outnumbered."

"And this concerns you?how? Why?"

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"She was kind to me, Salome."

"So? Plenty of people can be kind to you, what makes this situation different from any others?"

"She does not know me, and she is still kind. She wants nothing from me. She's tried to help me in whatever way she thinks I need and she doesn't get in my way. She does not deserve to be hurt the way she's been."

"So you used my grenades?"

"Ha, yes. They did."

"How many did you kill?"

"Just two."

"Only two? My my, how the mighty have fallen."

"Hush."

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"It turns out, though, that Gem has the makings of an empath."

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"Did she discover anything important?"

"No. At least she did not say so. ? She only said that she'd felt a jumble of emotion from me. I'll never forget how she described it."

"And how was that?"

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"She said?that it felt like I'd found the love of my life and lost them all in the same day."

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"Cris, I know you're hiding a lot? But it's been three months now. Are the wounds still that fresh to you?"

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Sigh. "I guess so."

"I should go. I've taken up enough of your time."

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"Cris, you should know. ? If you have to, if you need to. You can--"

"I know."

"That doesn't mean I don't think some of the things you're getting yourself involved in aren't absolute crap."

"Heh, I know that too."

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"When you start clean, you have to start clean. ? I'm proud of you, Cris."

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"Thank you, Salome?"

"Bye."

"Yeah, bye?"

CLICK

August 5th

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"One eight-hundred WARLOCK, Salome speaking."

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"I think I might have acted rashly."

"Cris?"

"Who else would it be?"

"You sound?off."

"Side effect of battle."

"Battle?"

"I accept an invitation to join in Gem's lover's war."

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"Why? You've known these people for a little over one month. And that's enough time for you to decide who's right and who's wrong?"

"It's a war against vampires."

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"The one they fight against is dangerous. He's a necromancer, that alone gives him extreme control over the dead, and he's a vampire himself. One of three original children. The vampires that targeted Gem were his doing. When I fought them the first time, I was not alone. The others that were there saw what I could do. Ever since then, Gem's lover has been requesting my help."

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"What do you want me to say?"

"Is there anything you can say?"

"Why did you agree to this? What did they say to you to change your mind? And don't bull**** me about how this friend of yours doesn't deserve pain. While that might be true, I know you better than that."

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"Revenge."

"Revenge."

"Yes."

"Yours?"

"Of course not. Her lover's, Bjorne's."

"You lost me."

"The second time Gem was attacked, she wasn't just merely attacked. She was taken. I've no idea what this vampire did to her, she won't tell me." Scoff. "But they were able to get her back before he?killed her. The revenge is his, not mine."

"Wanna bet?"

"Don't start."

"No, Cris, I will. You're using this as a way to placate your own guilt about Bianca."

"Everyone should have their vengeance, Salome. That's not something to be denied anyone."

"It's not good enough we got them all?"

"You got them all."

"Cris?"

"No. I am telling you this because some small cluster of my brain thought that you would actually like to know what's going on here. What you sent me into. That you gave a **** that I've grown beyond what you've known me to do in all situations like this for the last four months. Clearly I was mistaken."

"?Fine. Hang up like a petulant child."

"I will."

CLICK.

October 16th

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"1-800-WARLOCK, don't forget to stock up on exploding pumpkins, cannibalistic candy bowls and your bottled ghosts for Halloween. How can I help you?"

"I? Uh. Hi. My name's Zynnara. I was talking to someone the other day. He was surprised that I didn't know much, in the ways of magic, given the fact that I'm a warlock and all. He told me I could give you a call, and see if you'd be willing to teach me. Or at least help me out. I figured it wouldn't hurt to call."

"A recommendation, eh? Well, that's not so surprising, my reputation's rather stellar. If you don't count the lawsuits. But anyway! How old are you?"

"Yeah, a recommendation. I'm twenty-one."

"Twenty-one? And you don't know very much already? Have you been living under a rock?

"No, scratch that. That part doesn't matter. It's just shocking. Better late than never? What is it that you were wanting to learn?"

"I didn't get out much." Snort. "A lot. He told me you could probably teach me how to create portals. I'd also like to learn how to get a good reign on my magic. I made a dagger explode last night."

"That's an understatement. You keep saying "he". Who is this magical guardian angel that I'll have to thank at some point for your business?"

"Uhh. I was told not to mention names. Because you'd probably hang up. And I'd rather not have you do so."

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"Where are you right now?"

"A little town called Rhy'din."

Snort. "Well, I guess I was right about the angel part, wasn't I?"

"Nnnh. Yeah. You are."

"Sooo. Crissspin." Sigh. "Zynnara, right?"

"Yeah, Cris." Pause. "And yes, Zynnara."

"Alright. Let me?let me call you back. I've got your number saved. He told you I was going to hang up? What a douchebag. I'll prove him wrong.

"Well. After this. Excuse me."

CLICK.

October 17th

"?Hello? Zynnara speaking."

"I've given your case some thought. But before we get into anything, I want to lay down some ground rules."

"Oh? Ah. Alright. What are they?"

"Alright. First of all. You're my client, I'm working for you. You're a Warlock, I'm a Warlock. That's how we're going to treat it. This is business. I'm not doing you a favor because you know Cris. I'm not doing him a favor because he knows you. Sound good?

"Oh, and, in addition to that I'm gonna bill you. That's a given."

"It does. That's all I was hoping for. Thank you." Inhale. "I'm not sure if I'll be able to pay you right away. I'm in the process of getting a job with someome at the moment."

Tap, tap, tap. "I might bill him too. He owes me anyway. Second of all. I don't want to talk about Cris. I don't care if you talk to him. I don't care what he tells you. But I don't want to hear about it. In fact, let's not even mention Nephilim at all. They're bitchy."

Snort. "You could say that? And that works for me. No mentionings, no problems?"

"No mentionings, no problems. Thirdly, I don't want to hear any questions about him either. What our past was like. I don't think you care, but just to keep it from getting too awkward, don't go there. Capisce?"

"Capisce. I'm curious, But it's not killing me. I'll squash my curiousity. Anything else?"

"Like a roach." Tap, tap, tap. "No Nephilim, no familiarity? Nope! I think that's all. So tell me, newbie, what can I do for you?"

"Alright. Uhh?I have no clue where to start. I guess the basics would be best. With magic. I mean."

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"This is gonna take years." Shuffle. "Okay. Let's start simple. What is it that you actually do? Most Warlocks have a signature ability, usually fire. Yours is whatever you did to the knife to blow it up, right?"

"That's what I was told earlier. And yeah, it is. I know that much. It's electricity."

"You get zapped when you're in the shower?"

"?No."

"Lucky. What do you have to do to invoke it?"

"Breathe, and focus. Unless I'm angry or upset in some way. Then it just kind of happens."

"Breathe and focus? You're already that far along?"

"Yeah. I know a little from playing around with it and experimenting when I had the chance."

"Did you ever go through a period where you couldn't control it?"

"When I first used it, and a little bit after that. I was about fourteen the first time I used it."

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"But now you've gotten to the point where you can will it to life. That's good. That's pretty impressive actually. You sure you didn't get taught any of that?"

"I'm positive. I didn't think there was anything impressive about it."

"Start thinking it. You come from absolute zero for background, you don't know what you're doing. Do you know how easily you could've killed someone?" Chuckles. "That makes my job a little easier. We can skip the whole lesson on control and the importance of it. That's actually pretty basic. You said something about wanting to learn how to create Portals?"

"No, I don't. I'm glad I didn't though. That would have been bad." Sigh. "And yes. It's be nice to get back home from time to time. "

"Miss New York that much?" Laughter. "Don't worry, I'm sure it hasn't changed since the last time you were here. Portals are a bit trickier to get right. We'll save that for later. What about spells? Potions? Have you cast or made any?"

"Nah. But I do have some thing at home that I'd like to get? No?I haven't. But that'd be a good place to start, right?"

"Something at home? Like a personal affect? Hey, what was your address? Could probably swing by on my own and have it sent to you. Though I don't know how I'll manage that. It is a good place to start. Portals are a big spell, but if you don't do it right you'll wind up at your destination in pieces, missing pieces, with pieces inside of pieces. Or you could be shipped to a dimension you haven't heard of. If I wanted to kill you, I'd let you go nuts."

"I don't want to be any trouble. It's a lot of stuff. And It's nothing that's needed urgently. Just clothes, and things of that nature. I have someone here that's helped me out with that so far." Snort. "Well, I'm really, really glad that you don't want to kill me. It's appreciated."

"No trouble, I've got to send out a few things anyway. Books, at least. I'm sure you have access to either a library or something there, but I'd feel more confident if you were reading what I know would actually help.

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"Don't count on the not killing thing too much." Smiles.

"Alright. My apartment's on Anne Street, small little complex, second floor. The number's thirty two. My room's at the end of the hall. I need a few pairs of pants, and other things for cold weather. And in the other room, my mother's room, there should be a jewerly box on the dresser. Could you grab that as well?" Pause. Sigh. "And I can understand that. I don't think any of the books you'd like for me to read are anywhere in this town.

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"Well, I haven't gotten to that point yet, right?"

Scratching. "Okay, got it. I'll send somebody over. And, no. You haven't gotten to that point. Don't be hasty. Doing it right is always better than doing it fast. That's why quickies are only good for a few minutes afterward. Let me take care of this. Call me when you get the care package, okay?

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"And?don't worry about the fee for now. I'll squeeze it out of somebody else."

"Okay. And thank you. A lot. For getting my things, and sending the books over. And not charging me. I'll make sure to call you when I get it."

"You're too nervous. Work on that too. Otherwise I'll start denying you're one of us."

Inhale. "Alright. I'll work on that too."

"Good. Seriously, unclench. I can hear your bowels blocking up from here."

CLICK.

October 25th

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"Hello!" Laughter. "You've reached the voicemail of Zynnara. I'm sorry I'm not able to take your call at the moment. My attention has probably been stolen away by a certain Pouty Demon, or I'm busy elsewhere. Leave your name, and a brief message, and I'll get back to you as soon as I possibly can!"

"Heeey, Zynnara. I'm glad you got everything. I just wanted to let you know, contrary to what you've probably been told by somebody we will not be mentioning, I've never actually taught another Warlock before. I had a mentor?but for the most part I, like you, figured it out on my own. Hoped I didn't kill anybody.

"So, this teaching thing is going to be a bit lax. I'll send you things and answer questions if you have them, but you'll have to do the rest. And since you're there and I'm here, that works pretty well, I think.

"You've got my number, gimme a call if you have to.

"Oh, also. How the hell'd you swing having your attention stolen by a Pouty Demon? Please tell me he's hot, at least. Some of the demons I've seen? Whew? Keep that up. In all the literal and metaphorical senses.

"I'll talk to you later."

CLICK.

October 30th

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"Get the **** off my phone, Cris."

"Leena's alive."

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"I saw her. She's in town."

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"Your angel girl?

Scoffs.

"Well, that's what she is, Cris. She's an angel, sort of. And she's a girl. What should I call her? Devil boy?"

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"Salome, please."

"You're sure it's her? This isn't some faerie glamour, some trick, some?something?"

"That is what I thought too, at first. But no, I'm sure. It's her. She's grown."

"I hear that's what time does to you. It makes you grow up."

"Is it possible?"

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"Is what possible?"

"Raising someone from the dead."

"Cris?"

"I do not ask for educational purposes. I just?is it possible? To turn back the event of death?"

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"Yes."

Inhale, exhale.

"But they wouldn't be the people you knew, Cris. They wouldn't come back right. Once a soul moves on, that's it. It's where it's supposed to be. So ripping them from wherever they are and putting them back in our plane is like torture.

"How was Leena? Was she how you remembered her?"

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"Not completely. But?in ways, yes."

"Then it's unlikely that she was brought back my necromancy or any other means of resurrection. If that's the case, then she may not have ever died in the first place."

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"?Thank you."

Scoffs. "For what?"

"For reassuring me."

Snorts. "I didn't do it for you, Cris. I told you the truth. If it was any different, I would've told you that instead."

"I know. Still?"

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"I've thought about it too."

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"About what??"

"Bringing her back."

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"I havent tried."

"Obviously. The Clave would have come down on all of us."

"That's not the only reason I didn't."

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"I keep thinking? What would it be like to see her again? In?the flesh, and not simply in my own dreams, but nowadays those seem real enough?"

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"You might want to stop thinking about that. You'll just hurt yourself worse."

"I'm not entirely sure I can help it."

"I know that you want to."

"You do?"

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"Even you don't like being tortured this much."

Laughter.

Chuckles. "But I'm glad. You were depressed when you came to New York. You've missed Leena for years. Now you don't have to. You can catch up, right?"

"Something like that."

"Maybe she can help you."

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"I hope that it works out for you, Cris?"

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"Do you?"

Scoffs. "Fine, you want to doubt me? I don't. Keep on being all awkward about it."

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"I'm sorry. It's?been very surreal. To see Leena again. I thought that I never would. And yet?"

"And yet. For what it's worth, I'd rather not see her again either."

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"Yeah."

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"Was there anything else?"

"Yes. Erm. Is it possible to send a message to my parents?"

"Your parents? What for?"

"Leena said she'd attempted to get in contact with me for at least a year after it happened, by fire message. I've not received any of them. Were my parents to have received them, they would have told her where I'd gone, but they've not."

"Right. Right, sure Cris. I'll get in contact with them."

"Can you--"

"Call you when I've heard from them? Of course I will."

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"Thank you?"

"No problem. Get some sleep, Cris. Cuddle somebody. You'll feel better."

Chuckles. "Cuddle?"

"Okay, **** somebody, if you want to be all lewd about it."

Laughter. "Angel's mercy? Good night."

Smiles. "You too, Cris."

CLICK.

November 18th

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"This is Cris. I'll call you back shortly."

"Whoa, an actual voicemail greeting. Look at you, moving up in the world.

"But that's not why I called. I've been digging through my library to replace a few books for Zynn and I found some things. First off, I found your Codex. You know, the one you came to New York with? It's a little dusty and there's a few stains I don't get, but it's otherwise functional. I don't want it. I'm sure you don't either, but I promise you I don't want it more than you don't want it.

"And I found some pictures."

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"I've got the?um?the batches from our trip to Tuscon. Vegas. The summer we all spent in Montana. I won't be making copies, I'm going to send you the originals. I'm pretty sure you don't want them either but?it might be good to have them. Remember her different.

"And I found ones of Leena. I'm, um?I'm sorry. For what I did, with the Portal."

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"I've never looked through any of these before. Not even when I could. Just the one you had on your nightstand. You look the same, you know? But?cuter."

Sniff.

"Um. So. Yeah. I'm?going to send Zynn a few things, and I'll be sending these to you. You can do whatever you want with them. They'll probably already be there by the time you get this.

"I'd keep the ones of Leena.

"You were happy. I can tell."

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"You must have changed when she died.

"You can still change back, Cris?"

CLICK.

January 1st

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"This is Cris. I'll call you back shortly."

"Hey. Nephilim. Happy New Year.

"Please don't drunk dial me. That'll creep me out.

"Also, I don't know what you said, but you made your mom apologize profusely for your dad. Which was kind of cute.

"Bye."

CLICK

January 26th

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"Thank you for calling one eight-hundred WARLOCK, you've reached Salome Mart?n at a moment of indisposition. If you'd so kindly leave your name, situation and the swiftest way for me to reach you; I will do my best to be in touch before you die. If you do in fact die, please don't haunt me. I will exorcise you from sack to eyeballs. Have a great day."

"Salome, it's Cris. I know that it's been some time since we've last spoke, and the first thing I do is call and ask you to do something for me.

"Things here have?calmed down. They've not completely smoothed themselves out, but they're better.

"This thing I ask is not for me, but for Lenore. Ever since her cousin?s death, she's been attempting to research the origin of her abilities but she's not been having much luck. To date, she's only shifted into Andrew and myself, but as you know this was not an ability she previously had. She?s only been able to come across texts detailing things she already knows and an overabundance of information on Werewolves.

?I?ve spoken to her at length about this and have compiled a list of symptoms of Change, duration, side effects---anything I thought to be helpful. Of the three of us, you?ve always been the most skilled at this sort of thing. I would not ask if I did not know you would succeed, Salome.

?Her curiosity is passing, as is mine, but I know that the lack of answers weighs heavily on her mind, and there?s little that I can tell her with the knowledge I possess. Anything that you could find would be helpful, even if it?s to point me in the right direction.

?Think about it. Please.

?I?ll?be here.?

CLICK

February 11th

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"This is Cri---"

CLICK

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"This is---"

CLICK

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"This is Cris. I'll call you back shortly."

"Cris! Damn it, the one time you don't pick up your phone. Look, I forgot to tell you something that I found, and it's partially your fault for bringing up your hardness. I mean, come on. Who says that?

"Anyway. The legends detailing all her symptoms, pretty accurately I might add, say that subsequent Shifting into human bodies wreaks havoc on the Skinwalker in question, and it could be fatal.

"I don't know why it's any different than Shifting into an animal, I'll look into that, but whatever you do, don't let her keep doing it unless it's unavoidable. Think of it like the blood lust of a vampire, if you have to. Help her control it, or she'll wind up in a world of pain.

"I'll get back to you soon. Just---if it starts becoming too painful an act for her, stop her. Do whatever you have to.

"Bye."

CLICK

March 10th

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"Hello."

"WHERE THE **** HAVE YOU BEEN!?"

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"Ouch."

"Oh. I'm sorry. Did I hurt your sensitive ears? Here I thought you were deaf. Because at least then I would have had an explanation as to why you haven't picked up your GODDAMN PHONE!!!!"

"Enough! Enough, what in the Angel's name is all this about? I've received none of yo---"

"Don't you dare, Cris. Don't you dare feed me some excuse about how you didn't get any of my calls. I bought that phone for you just like I bought all of ours. And I worked on it, specifically, so that on the off chance that any of us were separated, we could still be in contact with each other.

"You turned the ****ing thing off. Didn't you? Didn't you."

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"Tch. Nice. You know---Nevermind."

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"Salome?"

"Why didn't you tell me there were Faeries there?"

"I?what?"

"Faeries. Faeries. ****ing Faeries. Those things that were dogging you because you killed two of their people!!!"

?

?

"Why do you think I kicked you out of New York in the first place? Why do you think I was hoping you wouldn't be able to get in contact with me? Why, Cris. Tell me why you think that is.

"You can't, can you? You can't, because you were so tied up in your depression over Bianca that you saw nothing. Nothing."

?

?

"They're immortal, Cris. They've got all the time in the world to wait and plan and figure out how best to get even."

Exhale. "Has something happened??"

"Kael. He left a---let's just say, a present, for me."

"Kael?"

?

"Cris. I can't---I can't help you there. They've known ever since last year that I've helped you escape them and they've been biding their time until they could figure out where."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Would you have given a ****? I've seen you grieve once, Cris. I thought I knew what to expect, but losing Bianca nearly killed you. It nearly killed me.

"I'm not as strong as she was, Cris. I never will be. If they come here?"

"They've not yet discovered where I am?"

"The rumor is that they've seen glimpses of you. A dark Shadowhunter that has a taste for Downworld. That could be anyone, but---"

"What was this present you mentioned?"

"Ah? Uh, a stained glass leaf. Green glass, Faerie worked silver. Fit in the palm of my hand."

?

?

?

"That means something. Doesn't it?"

?

?

"Yes."

"I see?"

"Whatever happens---I'll take care of it. They are looking now for a broken man that would never dare to pick up his blades again. Who, the last time they laid eyes upon him, was half drunk out of his mind."

"And what, you'll be armed and sober and they'll pick up their skirts and run?"

"I'm not concerned."

?

?

"No. You never were."

Snort.

"They won't come at you how you're expecting them to, Cris. They won't fight you. They'll destroy you from the inside out while leaving your body perfect."

?

"How kind of you to offer your confidence."

"You're ugly when you're cocky, Nephilim."

?

?

"So? Other than that. How's your life been? How's Lenore?"

?

?

"It's been---complicated."

"?Uh huh. Simplify it?"

"I can't. But? Lenore is---she seems to be doing very well."

"Seems to be? Shouldn't that be something you know for sure?"

?

?

"It's not something I'm privy to, any longer."

?

?

?

"What happened?"

"Salome, please. I don't want to talk about it."

?

?

"All right?"

"Am I still able to call you, or do you think---"

"So far, I haven't found any Faerie government taps on my phone, no. But I'd be careful. Just in case."

"Yes. I'll---let you know if something else happens here."

"Same here."

?

"Thank you."

?

"Cris?"

"Yes?"

"I love you. You know that, don't you?"

?

?

"Yes. I know that."

"Good. Don't---don't forget that. Don't ever think I don't. Okay? No matter what's happened, or what happens."

?

?

"Okay. Take care."

?

"You too."

?

?

?

?

CLICK

March 20th

?

?

?

?

"Hello. Salome. Has something---"

"Hi, Cris. How are you?"

?

?

"I'm?fine. I suppose."

"That's good. ? What---what are you doing tonight?"

?

"Salome, what's going on?"

"I think you should try this place. I've heard rumors about it. But I never knew where it was. Turns out that it's in Rhy'Din City. Isn't that great?"

?

?

"I-It's called Warp. They say it has everything. Bar, dancing. Entertainment. It's not exactly in the?the worst part of town, but even if it was, a Shadowhunter could handle himself. Right?"

?

?

"Right."

?

?

"They have a special this week. Temptation Thursdays. Your first hour is free. But only until midnight."

?

?

?

?

"I've less than four hours left, then. I should get moving, shouldn't I?"

"Cris, you don't have to do this!!! You know this is a trap, this Warp thing's probably not even real!!!!!"

Chuckle. "Then I guess I'll find that out, won't I?"

"? ? Heheh. I suppose! O-one more thing! Weapons?weapons aren't allowed to customers. They---they want you to have a fun, d-danger free?time. Unless that's what you're into.

"If you bring your own party favor, you don't even have to pay the cover charge."

"Thank you, Salome."

?

?

Sniff. "You're welcome. Have fun, Cris."

CLICK

Early, March 21st

?

"Cris? CRIS?!"

"Yes. Yes, it's me."

?

?

"Oh, God. Oh, my God?" Sniff, exhale. "And this is really you? This isn't that Haven **** or Kael, or---"

"Yes, it really is me."

?

?

"Oh? Thank God? How---are you alright? Really, alright?"

"I am really alright."

"Cris, why? Why?? Why did you go, you knew what they were going to do, you knew!!! You should've---"

"What else could I do??"

"Anything. You could have done anything else, Cris. What if you were really alone? What if you couldn't get out? You'd really let me live with that? Hearing everything they did? Knowing that you let them. Cris, I know I've given you **** after Bianca, but you didn't have anything to prove to me. You didn't? You didn't have to do this?"

"I forgive you. Does that make you feel better?"

"No. Why would it?"

"It will."

?

Sigh. "You're goddamned lucky, you know that? You could have died tonight. I wouldn't have gotten to kill you for it."

Snort. "Yeah, I know that. I'm starting to appreciate it."

"God. If I wasn't immortal, I'd be scared of keeling over dead after all of this. Who was that on the phone anyway? Who helped you?"

"That was Leena."

?

?

?

?

"Your Angel girl?"

?

"Yes, my Angel girl."

?

?

"She sounded?severe. And short. Almost b*tchy. But who doesn't with Faeries?"

"She's not like that with me."

"Uh huh. ? Well. I'm---I'm glad she's with you. I don't know her, but I could hear it. She cares about you, Cris. She kept chanting about how you were going to be fine and---"

?

?

"Look, I'm going to go."

"Go? What for, where are you going?"

"To clean up."

"Oh, God. Ew."

Scoff. "You asked. I will call you later."

"You will?? Do you promise?"

"Yes, I promise."

"Swear it. Swear it to me, swear on the Angel."

"I swear on the Angel I will call you, for ****'s sake."

"?Really?"

"Yes."

CLICK

April 19th

?

?

?

"Ooooooone eight-hundred WARLOCK, where all your Rotten Egg Easter baskets are always forty percent off, how can I help you?"

"Still, with the baskets?"

"Some mundanes like to have fun. They're not all fuddy duddies."

?

"You know, for as long as I've been alive, I've never figured out who coined that phrase. I think I'd like to give them a chemical peel. With acid."

"That sounds comfortable?"

"Think about how smooth their skin would be."

"Where?"

"Don't think about too much, dear, you'll get a complex."

Snort.

"So."

"So."

?

?

"Cris, I---"

"I know. I know. I didn't mean it either. I just? Have you ever before been able to experience something you've only dreamed about?"

"I can imagine."

?

?

"It's just---very rare for me, Salome. And I wouldn't let anything tarnish that. Not even you. But?I didn't have to behave the way I did."

?

?

"Truce?"

"I'd like that."

"Me too."

?

?

?

"So. How was she?"

"Oh, for the Angel's ****ing sake."

Laughter. "Ahhhhh, that'll never get old."

"You don't truly want me to talk about it, do you?"

"Do you want to?"

?

?

"What's going on with you two, anyway? I mean---she has to know how you feel about her. You're not exactly subtle."

"I don't know how to answer that. Actually."

"Weeeeell, are you together?"

?

?

"You told her, didn't you?"

"We don't exactly---talk very much. Or long."

"Nice."

"Oh, n---well, yes, but, not just because of that."

"Mmmmmmhm."

?

Exale. "It's complicated."

"That's an excuse."

"It's the truth."

"It's still an excuse."

"I don't want to think about it, Salome. Alright? I don't. It takes a great deal of my willpower already not to. Not to hope for something, not to want more than what I have. What I deserve."

"Don't tell me that you don't think you deserve her?"

?

?

"Look, Cris, if she was worth abandoning the relationship you had, then you'd better start figuring out just what it is you're doing."

?

?

"I know."

"What do you think is going to happen?"

"I'll lose her. Again."

?

?

?

"Cris?"

"I have her now, more than I did then. In a physical sense, at least. In every other way, it is---much the same as it was. She has lived a life that I could only guess at, and I have done the same. But she is not so different that I can't still feel as if I know her."

?

?

?

"That's dangerous, you know."

"I do."

?

?

"And if I think about all of that?what it all means. If I question it more than I simply---experience it. What the hell do I care how it happened, just that it did. And that it does?"

?

?

"I know what it means. It means that for once, I don't regret surviving the Mortal War."

"Crispin."

"What? You wanted the truth from me, you wanted me to speak. And so I am speaking. By the time Valentine unleashed his army upon us. By the time Downworlders were called to Idris, even, she was already gone. I survived that war only to be told afterward that she'd been killed. Away from me.

"I don't understand how I was able to live through the week and a half it took me to make the decision to move to New York. But there are times, Salome, that I've regretted it so much that I wished the strength to end my own life."

"Cris, stop it."

?

?

?

?

?

"Is this what you called here for? To tell me that you'd rather have died and that wished you'd never met us? Never lived with us, or done anything with us? You know, if you would have offed yourself, you would've broken your little angel girl's heart when she finally figured it out."

?

?

?

"?That's not why I called."

Sniff. "Then what do you want, Cris, because you've managed, once again, to ruin a perfectly fine day."

"I'm coming back."

"What do you mean you're coming back?"

"To New York. In a few days, I'm coming back. I've never seen her grave. I'd like to. And I'd like to see---"

"Don't say it."

?

?

?

"Fine. Do whatever you want. I guess it won't do any good to remind you that Kael and Haven are here and not there, but you don't give a **** about that, do you? Maybe they'll get the upper hand on you again, and we'll see just how much you want to live."

"Sal---"

"Do me a favor. Don't stop by. Just do your thing, and go home. I don't want you here."

?

?

?

"And I'm not faking it, this time."

CLICK

June 20th

?

?

?

?

"This is Cris. I'll call you back shortly."

"Well hell, Nephilim. I don't know where you are, but I suppose you're doing something. Which is weird for you. You're never busy.

"But you're always weird.

"You should have gotten the care package by now. I don't want to spoil it for you in case you haven't, but let me tell you, it's some of my best work yet.

"Enjoy.

"Happy birthday, Cris."

CLICK

Three boxes sat upon the bed of Cris's Sunny Side, guest house room. Tied to the top box, a letter folded in fourths, his full name gliding across the parchment in an elegant hand.

It read:

My dearest son,

Today, you turn twenty-five. How I imagined that I would be able to see you on this day, and these days past, but the gift of the knowledge that you let live sustains me. Sustains us both.

Your Warlock friend was exceptionally helpful in picking out these items for you, ensuring I understand that you, apparently, looked like you were "walking about in rags." I hope you will then find use in these articles.

Included, as well, the family ring that you left behind. With no exact location to send it to, we had no way of making sure it made it into your hands safely.

Know then that this ring respresents your rightful place within the Ashwood family. The strength of Yggdrasil, the World Tree, the wood of which is said to be made of ash, is within you, my son. And it will always be so. Never again forget this.

We love you, Crispin. And we are so very proud of how far you have come. We will continue to be as long as the both of us are able.

May the Angel's eyes watch you, may His hand guide you, may His wings protect you from harm.

Happy birthday, darling.



Mother, Father

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August 3rd

?

?

?

"Please, don't---"

"Don't. You even. I---you know? Do you know how long it's been since I've actually had any fun, Cris?"

"Is that a trick question?"

Scoffs. "A year. Over a year. Cris. Think about that."

"Salome, I did not know that he was going to repeatedly call you. How was I supposed to know that you were---incapacitated."

"We're all adults here, Nephilim. I was ****ing somebody. Or trying to. Thanks to you two.

"You know, and not only that? How hard is it to pick up a phone on your end, anyway? Why do I always have to be the one to call you? You know me better than Canaan anyway. What makes you think I'd ever want him checking up on me instead of you?"

"He was worried about you, that's all. This investigation you're doing for him shouldn't have to involve the Clave. Yes?"

"Is that what he's worried about? The Clave?" Dry chuckle. "I don't know if that's insulting or flattering. Cute, maybe. In that two headed person kind of way."

"How is that---"

"I was kidding, Cris, it's not cute, it's pathetic. To think that I wouldn't be careful, to think that I don't know what I'm doing? He came to me for help, and then he's going to just presume I don't know how to cover my own a*s?"

"I can't answer those questions for you. All I know is that when it became obvious that he was clearly concerned for your safety, handling it with the flippancy that I was at the time no longer seemed appropriate. I was worried about you."

?

?

?

?

"Phones go two ways, Cris. If you're that worried, call me yourself. That way you won't feel so guilty about it later."

?

"Salome."

"No. That's all this is. Well, I'm going to pull out your wedgie and tell you I'm fine. I've been fine. I'm still going to kill Canaan. I might kill you."

?

?

"I suppose."

?

?

"You won't even see it coming."

CLICK

September 12th

?

?

?

"And how is our intrepid Nephilim to---night? Tonight."

"Why did you not tell me that Lucien was back in town?"

?

"Well hello to you too. Ah-ah-ah, before you get your gear in a wad---you never asked. It's none of your business. And as far as I knew, he hadn't really left town. But I don't keep tabs on him because I'm not his mother."

"Zynnara has mentioned visiting him, or at least where he lives as some sort of safe house."

?

?

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Well, I can't see how that should bother you, you haven't been sleeping with him. ? Right?"

"For the Angel's sake, Salome?"

"Just checking. What's wrong with you? Why does that bug you so much? Is it the vampire thing?"

"No."

"Is it the---I slept with him now some other girl is sleeping with him?"

"Ew, no. I don't even know if Zynnara is sleeping with him."

"I mean, it'd be kind of cute if you were concerned someone was cheating on me considering you did it too."

?

?

?

"It's hard to explain. And---not because I do not want to. But because I do not fully understand it myself."

"He's a reminder."

?

"What?"

"A reminder. Of Bianca, of a year ago, of you. A reminder."

?

?

?

"I suppose."

"I know you, Cris. Sometimes I just want you to feel like you can spit it out without me needling you."

?

?

"Have you seen him?"

"Well, obviously."

"Mm."

"Don't "mmm" me, you knew what answer you were gonig to get. Nothing else isn't even close to the realm of your business."

"Thank the Angel."

"But I like the thought of you with curly hair.

Chuckle.

"So, what else have you found yourself doing? Or should I ask whom? How's your Angel girl?"

"She's fine."

"Only fine? Well don't let her hear that. We girls don't really want to know if people think we're terrible in bed just as much as you don't."

?

?

?

"Cris."

?

"I was kidding. No one's making fun of your girl. Jesus, you really need to lighten up."

?

"It's not that."

?

?

"Something happen with her?"

"Several things have."

"Okay, gross. But I suppose that's a good thing too. Something happen to her?"

"As far as I can tell, and she's told me, it still is."

?

?

"Why don't you start from the beginning? What's wrong?"

?

?

?

?

"If you don't want to say anything, tell me."

"Not, it's---I'm trying to figure out where to begin."

"Take your time, Cris."

?

?

?

"She's a rather---unsavory profession."

"So?a drug dealer? A pimp?"

"Is this a film?"

"I'm trying to save you the trouble of embarrassing yourself. I'm older than you, Nephilim. I don't need your protection from the terrors of the world."

"She's a contract killer."

?

?

"Hot."

"Some time ago, she was forced to kill someone that she did not want to kill in order to save herself. In order to do so, she needed to pretend that he meant nothing to her.

"She got in contact with me afterward, after she'd been unreachable for days and I was able to help her patch herself up. Ever since then, I believe, she's had dreams about this incident. But only recently have they been becoming---unbearable. She thinks that they are being put there intentionally."

"Wait a minute, I thought she was like you. You all have mental protection placed on you at birth."

"I know. And I doubt that Theron would neglect to protect his children. But she did die, as brief a time as that was. Likely they were erased then. I think---she was split from her family afterward. To protect them. She was never in a situation where they could be reapplied."

"Has she never thought of doing it? Specifically for this reason?"

"She can't return to Idris, and I would not trust anyone outside of its borders to perform such a delicate ritual. I've asked her about it, and she's expressed complete disgust for letting someone inside of her head."

"So what you're saying is that she's going to suffer through it until they magically stop or she kills whoever's behind it?"

?

"I don't know. I don't exactly have the right to judge her. I've done the same, for the same reason."

"Stars and mother****ing stones, you two. You deserve each other."

?

"You have a problem, you fix it. You don't just wait for it to go away, you don't make the people that love you suffer right along with you? Or does she not know how much this is killing you yet?"

?

?

"I can't tell her."

"Wha---WHY?! If there was anyone she'd listen to, it would be you, Cris. Or does she have someone else she can trust?"

?

"Do you even know where she goes when she's not with you?"

?

?

"She hardly goes anywhere now. She's staying with me."

"And you watch her. You watch this happen to her."

?

?

?

"What else can I do?? I don't know if she'd even let me help her if I could. The fact that she's here now, that says something, doesn't it? She chose me, she chose here. She could have gone anywhere, but she's here."

"Don't do that, Cris. Don't you do that. Don't you make me listen to you lie to yourself. Again. Over some b*tch."

"Salome, don't call her that. You don't know her."

"I knew Bianca."

"So did I. Leena is not Bianca."

"You're right, she's not. She was just first. She was the one that sunk herself so deeply into your heart that no one else could get in there when she died. And that might be real romantic and congratulations for that s*** but this isn't a ****ing fairy tale, Cris. This is life. This is your life. And I'm not going to listen to you die over this girl again. I saw it once already. So if you're not prepared to do whatever you have to get to through to her, then you really don't have anything to whine about.

"And I don't have anything else to say to you."

?

?

?

?

"You know, I ****ing did this with you? Welcome to a world where someone has to deal with you, Cris. You're stubborn, you're a pain in the a*s. You think you're the only one that can feel as strongly as you do, and that there's no way to fix you. That no one really cares about you, and if they do, it's never enough.

"I think you deserve this right now. You deserve to watch her brain rot from the inside out.

"Just tell her you're in ****ing love with her first so it hurts worse."

CLICK

September 28th

?

?

?

"Canaan? What the hell are you doing?"

"Salome!"

?

?

?

"Oh god."

"...I prefer Canaan. But God's good too."

?

"What did you have, and how much?"

"Lots," and there was relish in his voice. "Bourbon, mostly."

Exhale. Long and exasperated and tired. "And why did you do that?"

"Oh Salome." He scoffed. "Can' a guy jes...drink?

"Which one has lotsa sex?" Who was he talking to?

"Yeah. Guess I'm just used to dealing with whine-y men. Girls, really. You're enjoying yourself, I'm jealous.

"Are you still in a bar?"

"In it? Nah, cher. I'm on da porch, if'n ya wanna get technical.

"Currently watching one'a my lovers get his head rubbed."

?

?

?

?

"I'm not awake enough for this shit. Hang on." Click, clatter.

He laughs. "Wait! Don' hang up on me."

Minutes pass in silence, until finally---Click, clatter, scrape. "Okay...." sigh. "I don't know why I'm even talking to you, I hate drunks."

"Salome~ Salomeeeee~oh hey, cher." He's grinning like a fool. "Nah, I ain' drunk. I'm jes..ok I am, but you can' hate me. Everyone loves me.

"See? Some girl I ain' even met is singin' m'name righ' now." It sounds like he smacks a kiss at someone.

"Taneth," seemingly supplying the unknown girl's name now.

"Candy Cane's m'stage name, Cher." Salome was going to hang up on him.

"Uh huh," like she was examining her nails. "I'm going to hang up on you."

"****, don' hang up on me!" He laughs. "...Wha'chou doin, cher?" All sexy-like.

"Sitting.

"I've got my feet up on my desk. They're bare. I'm bare from the waist down actually."

"You--damn. Mm. Could sen' me'a picture as proof."

"I just got out of a bath. But I can't reach my back. I need one of those loufas on a stick."

"I'd wash yer back. C'mere. I gotta big tub.

"Oh, cher." Was that for her?

"Bigger isn't always better, cher.

"Oh what?"

"Taneth pinched m'ass."

"......What?"

"Da girl I--wait. Wha'chou mean bigger ain' better?"

"I've been alive a little while. Movement and use are just as important. But we're talking about tubs."

He cackled. "I gotta shower, too, if ya like dat bettah."

"Showers are nice."

"How you been, Salome?" He sounded a little more serious now. A thud, followed by some footsteps.

She heard it, likely why she'd paused too. "I've had better months."

An inhale. "Wha's wrong?" He was struggling to clear his mind and not think about her in a shower. With him.

Clicks. "Why should I tell you?"

?

?

"I was drinkin' 'cause I missed 'im t'day. Your turn."

"One more. Who's him?"

"Jeremy." The name burned more than any of his liquor had.

She felt a bit guilty. But for all she knew, there could have been multiple "hims." "Sorry."

"I git two questions now. Answer da firs' while I come up wit' anot'er."

"Cris is an ****."

"He's nex' on my drunk dial lis...which is why I call' you in da firs' place. Need 'is number, by da way. What'd dat jackass do, mm, cher?"

"He was a jackass. He was himself. That's it. It gets on my nerves sometimes. You want his number, you ask him out yourself."

Tch. "He tell you I saved his life?"

"No." Creaks. "What happened?"

"It wad'nt anyt'ing big. Jes Sal tried ta kill 'im. And I got 'im ta calm down.

"Cris," he was chuckling now. " 'E stormed out after."

"Wad'nt anything big?

?

?

"The **** is Sal?"

Another slow inhale. This story had obviously been a mistake. "Ahh?" Something told him he shouldn't cop to being his lover. "He's part fae. Does dis t'ing in da fall where he kinda goes crazy. It ain' no t'ing, cher, hones'.

?

?

"I wouldn' let not'ing happen t'da Shadowhunter. 'Aight?"

"He gets hard and horny for the Hunt, doesn't he? Stars and---he's gonna kill me. That little **** is going to kill me."

Click, thud, THUD.

"Salome!"

Muffled, "Go away, I'm sleeping.

"Wake me up when stuff doesn't suck."

"****, woman." Sigh.

Groooooaaaan, "What'd you think I did?"

?

"Come for a visit. My shower's nice." He was ignoring her question and his moment of panic.

"I'm not touching Rhy'Din with a ten dimension pole, Canaan. If it's not you, it's the newbie and Lucien on my ass to come and I'm not going."

There's a scraping sound. "Aight, cher."

Blows out a sigh, "Did you really do that?"

?

?

"Do what?"

"Save him, what else?"

"Yeah I saved him." He sounded a little offended.

"Why?"

?

?

?

"He's home, Salome. May not actually know da guy, but I wad'n 'bout ta watch him get hurt."

"What th---what do you mean he's home?"

"Home. Like...earth. Reminds me'a home. I miss it."

?

?

"Figuratively, I'd love to be there when you tell him that."

A snort. "I ain' tellin' him shit. Tried to joke aroun' wit' him, what? Nex' day? day after? Anyway. He got all stuffy an' left in a huff."

"Guy's fae?"

"Sal? Yeah."

Grunts.

Muffle. Scrape. "Wai--"

CLICK

September 30th


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"Thank you for calling one eight-hundred WARLOCK, you've reached??

CLICK

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?Thank you for calling??

CLICK

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?Thank you??

CLICK

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?Thank you for??

CLICK

?
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"Thank you for calling one eight-hundred WARLOCK, you've reached Salome Mart?n at a moment of indisposition. If you'd so kindly leave your name, situation and the swiftest way for me to reach you; I will do my best to be in touch before you die. If you do in fact die, please don't haunt me. I will exorcise you from sack to eyeballs. Have a great day."

?Goddamnit, woman. You are stubborn. Jes so you know, I?m stubborn, too.?

CLICK

?
?
?
"Thank you for calling one eight-hundred WARLOCK, you've reached Salome Mart?n at a moment of indisposition. If you'd so kindly leave your name, situation and the swiftest way for me to reach you; I will do my best to be in touch before you die. If you do in fact die, please don't haunt me. I will exorcise you from sack to eyeballs. Have a great day."

Sigh.

?
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.
..
.
?If you don? call me back, I?m gonna start leavin? messages containin? all da sordid details of my sex life. Mebbe I?ll start off wit? da chick who can suck a golf ball t?ru a hose. Or dere?s da guy who likes ta make me bleed. Bettah pick up next time I call, woman.?

January 1st

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Psa5TOB-uXA/U7ISWDy6IFI/AAAAAAAAL1I/5MfZQL-OY4g/s1600/fireworks-o.gif

Another year is born, Warlock. Do you think it will be easier than the last?

January 9th

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"Thank you for calling one eight-hundred WARLOCK, you've reached---"

CLICK

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?

"Thank you for calling---"

CLICK

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"Thank you for---"

CLICK

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"Thank you for calling one eight-hundred WARLOCK, you've reached Salome Mart?n at a moment of indisposition. If you'd so kindly leave your name, situation and the swiftest way for me to reach you; I will do my best to be in touch before you die. If you do in fact die, please don't haunt me. I will exorcise you from sack to eyeballs. Have a great day."

"Salome. There's something I think you and I should discuss concerning your---Lucien. Concerning Lucien. Call me back."

CLICK

February 22nd

?

?

?

? ? is early already, **** I'm popular! Hellooooooo, how may I help you today?"

"Salome."

"Crispin."

Snorts.

"Well, I can be formal and stiff and sound I like I haven't slept either, you know."

"Do you have a minute?"

?

?

"A few of them, sure. What's up?"

"I, erm?"

"Yeeeees?"

?

?

?

?

"I can't---articulate what I want to say. It would be light years easier for you to simply know what I'm thinking already."

"Ahhhhhh, the tortures of introversion strike again. One of these days, you're going to have to learn to use your words, Cris."

?

?

?

"Talking is difficult."

"Then why are you calling? You know, since these phones are off the grid, you don't technically have to pay the bill, but seriously. Think of the repercussions."

"Talking to you was always easy."

"Really?" Smile. "What about your Angel girl? Wasn't talking to her always easy too?"

?

?

"Yes. Sometimes."

?

?

"Okaaaay."

?

?

?

"Something happen between you two?"

?

"Maybe."

"You didn't cheat on her, did you?"

"Oh, for ****'s sake?"

"Well, you cheated on me, you know. Cheated on Bianca for a little while, with me. On Lenore with---"

"All right, all right. Okay, I understand."

"You haven't answered."

"For god's ****ing sake, no."

"God's sake? Are we going higher than Raziel now?"

Exhale.

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?

?

"All right, okay. I'll be serious. I'm all yours. Lay your woes onto me, Nephilim."

?

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"I'm on the roof."

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?

?

"Go oooooon."

"It's a bit less than an hour before sunrise, and it's ****ing cold."

"And you're outside because?"

"I can't breathe inside."

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"Cris, what's going on?"

?

"Will you laugh at me if I tell you?"

"Babe, I laugh at you when you exist."

?

?

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"She has not spoken to me all night."

?

"And that's why you're moping and freezing on a roof."

?

"She's upset with me"

"You think? So, if you didn't cheat on her, what did you do?"

?

"I broke someone out of jail."

?

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?

"It was not just me. But Canaan, and his lover Salvador have a friend---"

"Uh huh."

"I offered them my aid."

?

?

?

"Uh huuuuh."

"Stop that. That's exactly why I did not want to discuss this. Your responses only perpetuate the fact that I'm being unbelievably pathetic."

?

"All right, look, Cris. I don't care what your mouth says about all that right now. I know you. Deep down, someplace, under all that---you---you have to talk to someone. Right?"

?

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"It's killing you."

?

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"It's killing you worse because it's her."

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"What are you afraid of?"

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"One day, I'm going to wake up, and she will not be there."

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Surprised exhale. "Cris, why would you think that?"

?

?

"Because, I do not want to lose her. It does not even--- We do not even have to be as we are. Though, I can't fathom going about my life as if we weren't."

"Cris. What did you do? You said you broke someone out of jail with your friends. Connect the dots for me."

?

?

"She does not understand why I offered. She does not believe it to be my problem. In fact, she feels the same way about a lot of the things I've gotten involved with."

?

"These all dangerous things?"

"About eighty percent of them, yes."

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"They like Kael and Haven bad or drunk Zane bad?"

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"Kael."

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"So what are these things that you've gotten yourself mixed up in? You haven't died yet, have you?"

"Not unless this is some completely lucid hallucination."

"But you've gotten ****ed up like you did with Haven."

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?

?

"You know. You don't even have to explain. You're a dumba*s."

"I kno---"

"No, I don't think you do. Otherwise, you'd be like---like, I don't know, having sex or whatever you kids do at this time of the morning instead of you being on the roof and she being---where is she, exactly?"

"She's inside."

"Right, instead of her being inside and freezing you out. Literally."

?

?

?

"I know that she's concerned for my well-being. I know she'd rather not see any harm come to me, but---"

"What do you mean but? You've got an explanation for this?"

"I am not a coward."

"Oh. Really. Tell me what makes you all big and brave then, Mister---I sit on the ****ing roof panicking 'cause my girlfriend won't talk to me."

?

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?

"Cris?"

"Yes."

"Do you know how absolutely ridiculous you sound? What the **** are you doing?"

?

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"She asked me the same thing."

"Well good. What did you tell her?"

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?

"I told her?I needed to do something. I could not simply sit by anymore and waste myself away." Exhale "There's sport fighting here in town and it must be the first bullet point on everyone's to-do list to ask me why I don't, and to wish that I would. Dueling for sport is ridiculous. I fight only when I must, when I deem it necessary. I am Nephilim. I am a Shadowhunter. This is what I do. This is who I am, this is who I've trained to be.

"It's---obnoxious---how many times I'm told that does not mean anything."

?

"Who's told you that? Have they said those exact words?"

Exhale. "What else am I supposed to think? Two years ago, I was wrong for caring nothing for anything or anyone around me. Now, I'm told I care too much and I'm throwing myself into situations that do not concern me. I can't---I do not understand what I'm supposed to do.

"Salome, there is no way I can sit by and do nothing. Had I kept up, had I more skill than I did, two years ago, Bianca may not have been taken in the first place."

"Oh, for ****'s sake?"

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Sigh. "Okay. Lemme go at this another way. You said she's a hit woman for a living. Right?"

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"In the most basic terminology."

"Okay. You want her to be doing that?"

?

"No."

"Why not? She needs money, doesn't she? She trained the same as you, didn't she? She's got skill, she can kick a*s. Why shouldn't she?"

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"She could be killed."

"What's that?"

"She could be killed."

"Really? I thought that's who she was. What she did, what she's good at."

"That isn't what I meant?"

"She ever tell you you were a wuss and couldn't handle yourself?"

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"You remember our nice little run-in with Haven and Kael, don't you?"

"That was an ironically abrupt segue?"

"Don't be a smarta*s."

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"I remember."

"I listened to what they did to you, Cris, and I went out of my ****ing mind when they cut the connection. I didn't know if you were alive or dead. We talked for, like forty-five seconds on the phone. You want to know what she did?"

?

?

"What?"

"She wouldn't stop chanting about how you were going to be fine. I don't know her from the next hole in the wall, but you don't sound like that unless you care a stupid amount about someone."

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"I was pissed at you for coming too, you know that?"

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"Yeah." He never said "yeah."

?

"Yeah."

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"Could you have died tonight?"

"Salome---"

"Don't get cocky. Answer me. Could you have?"

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"It was possible."

"Cris, I'm going to tell you something. And I want you to listen to me very carefully, because I'm only going to discuss this with you once, and after that, if you **** yourself over, that's you're fault. You listening?"

"Yes."

"Take your head out of your a*s. You know, you said that thing about how you didn't care about anyone or anything, and how we all wanted you to care. This, right here, this, what you're doing. It's not caring. Still.

"Everything you've said, everything you've told me, is all about you. About what you feel and what you think, what you should be doing. Who the **** is watching you that you've got to try so hard? Seriously?"

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"She thinks that living as I am will get me killed."

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"Well, is she wrong?"

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"Cris, you've told me so much about her, I don't know her but I kind of feel like I do at the same time. And if you two were as close as you said you were, you weren't the only one who lost somebody when she got shot."

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"You know what else? It's pathetic that it's not sunken in yet that people actually give a **** about what happens to you. It's pathetic that I have to tell you this. Over again."

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"You know?"

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"What?"

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"Lenore actually said something similar to me a long time ago."

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"What was that?"

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"She told me that she was concerned about how much of myself I was going to give away to someone who needed me."

"What did you tell her?"

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"I don't remember."

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"Maybe it's time you tried to. If you're really that scared about losing Evangeline all over again, don't make her watch you die. Don't be stupid. If you've got to give your life for something, let it be for her."

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"I've got to go. I've got a seance in Queens that I so don't want to do, but hey. I'm a professional.

"Promise me you'll think about what I said."

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"I promise."

"And go inside. You retard."

Chuckle.

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"Yeah."

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CLICK

Early, July 17

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"This is Cris. I'll call you back shortly."

BEEP

Exhale. "Men are fucking stupid. You all are. All of you, not even the pretty, sweet ones. You're all stupid.

"Why do you all have to be so fucking pretty anyway? With your bad moods and your having to be so stupidly understanding that I can't even get mad at you."

Heaved sigh, the fwump of a body hitting a cushion.

"I don't know how Ketch doesn't creep you out. You're so alike. You never made me feel like I was two inches tall, though. Well, I mean. You did. But I know you didn't mean it. Most of the time."

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"Whatever. They asked about you. I don't think they knew what to say. Fin and Ketch. I didn't know what to say either. I'm running out of things to say. I keep saying readjusting. That just makes me think you're grabbing your crotch." Snort.

?

?

"Fin said he sent you something else too.

"I don't know why I'm still talking.

"Men are stupid."

CLICK

Early, July 22

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Clicks. Scratch, shuffle, exhale. "Yes. Hello."

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Long, slow sigh. Sniff. "Cris??"

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"Salome." Rustle. "------What's wrong."

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"Nothing. Nothing's wrong, I just---- Um. You know, I know you're not. Not----not seeing anybody, or anything right now, but...... Can you??"

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"Salome?"

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Harsh exhale.

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"You know what? You know what, no. No. That's fine. That's great. That's----

"You know, how many fucking times have I picked up this phone for you? No matter what time it was. No matter what you were calling about. No matter----anything. I picked up, for you. You know, and there were times I wanted to fucking kill you myself."

"Salome----"

"Times where I didn't want to talk to you. Hearing your voice made me fucking sick, but I still did it anyway, because it's you and that meant something."

"Salome, where-----"

"Fuck you, Cris. I get that you've got a lot going on right now, really, I do. But I didn't think it was too much to fucking ask to see you for like twenty minutes."

"Salome, for the Angel's sake, will you----"

"NO. YOU DON'T GET TO SALOME ME AND MAKE IT ALL BETTER. I don't fucking need you, I wanted you, there's a goddamned difference, and now I don't even want that anymore. You want people to reach out to you and ask for you, and lean on you, and all that, but all you want is to feel like you're fucking special. Like you matter. It's someone else's turn, for once to feel like people give a shit.

"Enjoy your fucking fort, with your Angel girl and your tea and your gutlessness. I got on just fine without you for two and a half months, and I did it for a long time before all of that, so let's just keep this fucking streak going, shall we?"

"Sa----"

CLICK

Early afternoon, November 6th


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CLICK

"You know, fucking finally."

"You spend the better part of the last three days blowing my phone to absolute Hell, and when I call you back----"

"Oh, fucking please. Don't even start. Don't you even start, Angel blood. You're turtling and you know it, and I know it, so if I wanted to ignore you for a little while while I got to fucking enjoy myself for once? Boo hoo."

Water running, the chug of pipes.

?What exactly is it that you want from me now??

?Now? Well hell, right now, I want to know how you are. You sound like you woke up on the wrong side of Raziel?s ass, like usual, so I figure you?re fine.?

?Do not lie to me.?

?That?s not a lie, Cris. I don?t bug you because I know how you are, and I know what you?re doing right now.?

?Then it stands to reason it?s become egregiously obvious that for you to call and text me as often as you have, I have something you need. What is it??

?

?

?I talked to Shae about what?s going on. Leo, Glenn, Leena, you----all of it. I don?t----I mean, Glenn. When you talked to him, what?d he even tell you about all this??

?He prefaced the entire discussion with a ruse surrounding your safety.?

Snort.

?I didn?t exactly think it was amusing.?

?You wouldn?t. You care, Nephilim, be still my black little heart.?

?

?

Chug of water ceases, drips.

?

?

?He spoke of seraph blades and how they may be an asset to what it is we?re all to do.?

?Well, they?re really the only thing I could think of off the top of my head that?d cut a demon down and keep him down. Problem is, most of us don?t have the right blood to use them. That?s part of it. Shae fielded the suggestion that we might be able to create something like them so we?re not stuck just using only them. So maybe the rest of us can get inducted into your little angel club, too.?
?

?

?You?ve still not answered my question. What is it that you need, Salome.?

?

?

?

Exhale, ?Shae. Talk to Shae. It?s her idea, she?ll be able to fill you in on it better. We were thinking something like-----like another weapon that can store some of the energy you?ve got, maybe we can use it. I don?t know.?

?

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?She said you haven?t been returning any of her calls or texts either.?

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?Lemme guess. You haven?t been out at all. You just-----sit there, sit there at a window, or whatever. You?ve got a pile of cigarettes, you?ve got a bottle of something because fuck tea. Right??

?

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?Cris, you can?t do this???

Sigh, ?Then what is it, pray tell, that I am supposed to be doing? Fucking it out, as you are, pretending that all that?s transpired throughout the last year was merely some sort of fabrication, a farce, like it did not legitimately kill me in the process. Twice, Salome----?

?Oh, bullshit, you only died the once. Seems to be a pretty common deal here, too.?

Exhale.

?Look, I know what you mean. I get it----?

?You say that a lot. Do you even realize it? You headline everything, anything that will result in your two cent opinion by insisting that you understand what you?re talking about. As though you know, firsthand, what it is to perish. What it is to awaken to the reality that your soul has been ripped totally free of your body and confined------?

?That?s fucking bullshit too, Cris, and you know it. The way you are, how you feel right now? Doesn?t have shit to do with Hell, it doesn?t have shit to do with your souuuul or your confinement. No, this about her. This is about Bianca.?

?

?

?

?You?re going to let her do it all over again, aren?t you? She?s the reason you got killed, she?s the reason you went to Hell, she?s the reason------- Hell, she-----heh, Cris, she fucking busted you when she died and do you know how fucking frustrating it was to just sit there and watch you just-----destroy everything? Destroy everybody because you thought you failed her? And what?d you learn here, she did it to her fucking self.?

?

?

?Don?t let her do this, Cris, you can?t keep letting her have all this power over you. It?s fucking with you, it?s going to ruin everything you?ve been trying to build back up----?

?You deserve each other.?

?

?

?Excuse me??

?The both of you, dispensing your advice like a vending machine, so eerily similar, though Glenn?s opinions of the situation were not as verbose as yours are, or tend to be. A blessing, by the Angel, as there seems to be no plug big enough to stuff into your mouth.?

?

?

?Look, Cris, I don?t know what he said-----?

?I told you as much already, or did you merely choose to disregard the voicemail I left? The only way that he would have any basis for his assessment would be if you deemed it necessary to link hands with him and waltz down this memory lane discussing a plethora of subjects that are none of his fucking business.?

?You know, just in case it?s escaped your notice, Mr. High and Fucking Mighty, you were a gigantic part of my life. You still fucking are, and I care about you. I have always cared about you, and if that means that I talk about you, and I talk about our life together, and fuck, I just talk, you?re going to goddamned deal with it, because I?m older than you Cris. I got here first, and you don?t have that right.

?I don?t give a shit what he told you. And if it?s even in your head that you think I set any of that up, you?re a fucking idiot.?

?I think that you?re toeing a dangerous line. And I am certain that all of the fornication has done wonders for his disposition-----?

?Fuck, I wonder why??

?--------but that does not change the fact that this is the same man with whom I had a rather strange conversation regarding a woman that he was still emotionally invested in-----?

?Cris----?

?He asked what I would do, were I in his position. Back from the dead, to find that the life that I?d known, the woman I?d cared for, has all changed and moved on, respectively.?

?You know, for somebody that?s all about not wanting their business spread around, you?ve got a butter knife pretty deep in his shit.?

?You know as well as I that once you love someone, there is no evicting them from your mind. They resurface, even when you do not want them to, and especially when you are looking into the eyes of someone else.?

?YOU SONOVABITCH!!!?

Glass shatters, the bathroom door slams shut as if by a strong wind.

?How dare you. This has nothing to fucking do with me, this has nothing to fucking do with Glenn. This is you. This is all goddamned you. And you?re pissed that she hurt you, and you?re pissed that she broke your heart, and you?re pissed that you died. You?re pissed she helped, you?re pissed that she?d do it again, you?re pissed. You?re pissed and you?re being a motherfucking wuss, and you?re fucking lashing out because that?s all you fucking know how to do. You can?t justify killing us, you can?t justify killing yourself, so you?ll just set fire to fucking everything and watch it all burn up, and that won?t fucking fix anything, goddamnit, that?ll just make it worse.

?But how dare you talk about him like he?s just fucking using me, and how dare you talk about me like I?m some goddamned idiot that?ll just fucking let that happen. News flash, Angel blood, Glenn isn?t you, he?s better than you, and that pisses you off too because maybe you got fucking used to the fact that the way I felt about you wouldn?t let me really cut you out of my life, but I did it once, Cris, and I?ll gladly do it again.

?And I don?t fucking get how you?re so flippant about this? Like, fuck, don?t give a shit about me, I don?t care. I can take care of myself, but don?t you love Leena? Doesn?t the idea of putting down the fucker that?s been on her ass this whole time sound like a good idea, and yet here you are, sticking your thumb into what you think is a wound I still carry. I gave up on you loving me a long time ago, Cris, and fine, just about every other guy I?ve been with wanted somebody else too, or they wanted somebody else more, but that?s on you, that?s your guilt over all of it, that isn?t Glenn.

?Oh, and by the way. It?s real fucking nice that you?re dragging up Madison?s shit and using it to fill your verbal machine gun. Great friendship tactics there.

?You?re a fucking asshole.?

CLICK