I Mourn Your Loss

She simply didn't understand. Cors words, though true to any others ears, only caused more confusion when it met hers. She looked to him with a blank stare - as if trying to take in what he meant.. but instead turned to Raye after and gave a nod of her head. "I will need a written letter from you. I will give it to my sister and she will make her decision."

Kruger?s jaw was clenching, he wasn't sure why, perhaps it was the meeting earlier. Somehow he doubts that to be the case. He whispers to Raye.

Rayvinn turned wide eyes upon Kruger and she attempted a nod.

"A letter saying what?" She finally just sat down because this was becoming so real and those wobbly legs weren't going to hold her up any longer.
"Your interest in entering Adenna and for what reason."

"Cor...wh-where is my bag? Paper." The bottle of beer that had been gripped so tightly was released from her shaking hand and placed upon the table.

"I will wait." Nayun gave a bow of her head. Metal hand pressing to the handle of her weapon while she took a more relaxed stance.

Cor gave her shoulder another squeeze and nodded. ? I'll grab it, one second. He stepped back near the ring where they'd been standing and grabbed her bag up before coming back over and holding it over to her. ? Here.?

Nayun peers down at herself. Her palm pressed to her jeans to give a few smoothing brushes before shifting slightly in her stance. Looking over her shoulders in an awkward attempt to peer down at herself. Attention turned back to Raye. Then dropped to inspect her nails.

She took the purse and dumped everything onto the table. The list of oddities is long and complex but certainly contained several spare weapons and a bottle of Gran Patron silver tequila...that would be of use tonight. A small pad of pink paper, cotton candy scented no less, was finally located and a pen. Shaky right hand scrawled out the words that finally broke free the sob that the elf couldn't contain any longer. The paper was folded and handed to Nayun. "Is that appropriate?"

Index and middle, along with that thumb, reached to take hold of the paper. She'd then take her time with opening and looking over the words.. or at least skimming to make out what she could understand.

Her sobs wracked her too-thin frame as she hunched over as if she could shove her fist into the hole that she felt in her chest. Nayun might not hear the words, though she tried to speak them clearly.

"I apologize for calling you a liar." She apologized, because she knew.

Kruger?s hand went to Raye?s shoulder then. A milestone to be sure, one could call this first contact between the two former enemies.

Lowering the paper enough to peek up over it. She'd stare at her in silence for a brief moment. Then, with the folding of the letter, she'd tuck it away into her coat pocket. "Thank you. I will bring word as soon as possible. Will you be meeting me here? If not, please provide me an address so that I may give you my sisters answer."

Raye just looked up at Cor. She had no idea where she would be in two hours let alone where she would be tomorrow. She was on borrowed time. "Where?" Then to Nayun. "How soon?"

?Here.? Cor nodded and reached his hand to Raye's upper back, rubbing there. ?Everyone knows where it is. No reason to make things more complex right now.

Reap headed back over to Cor and Raye after the fight with Rachael ended and he had taken a break. ?Think I'm gunna go find a few more fights somewhere. He gave a half smile down to Raye, it wouldn't help any, but it was all he was willing to give on the subject.

Cor nodded to Reap. ?Alright man. Stay safe.

?Nah. That's your job, man. He gave a pat to Cor's shoulder and started for the door.

Rayvinn nodded to Reap, that half smile -- coming from him, was an appreciated gesture of moral support. She didn?t need more from him.

"I do not know." Blink. "I have no rank or title in Adenna. My word means nothing. There is a possibility your letter may not be seen." Nayun then paused and peered away. Her metal fingers twitching lightly.

Shaky gloved hand lifted the bottle to splash single malt into Rachael?s glass before it was lifted to her lips and lowered empty.

A look to Kruger's hand on her shoulder, Raye attempted and failed miserably to give a smile. Her gaze shifted to Rachael before shifting back to Nayun, brows arching sharply.

"I will do my best. If I cannot speak with my sister, I will direct your letter to my caretaker." Nayun nodded.

"Thank you, Nayun.? Rayvinn?s voice was strained.

Cor frowned again, looking from Raye to Nayun. ?Who is your caretaker? Are they someone we can speak to if necessary?? Where did that "we" come from?

Nayun reached down to zip up her jacket then and nods her head. "My caretaker is the Siovanui, Seirichi. May I leave now? Or is there more I must answer?"

Cor just kept his mouth shut and nodded.

Even though Rayvinn knew (or thought she knew) that she and Seiri had a mutual dislike for one-another, Raye actually felt this to be a good thing because she knew Seiri had loved or at least been close enough to be married and have children with Dyarhk. She would understand possibly.

"How is..." She choked back the sobs that threatened to overwhelm her. Yep, this is what emotional looked like on crazy. "How is his family? How is Seirichi and Corea and his wonderful children?"

Raye couldn't stand kids, everyone knew she was afraid of them...but Dyarhk had talked about those kids and his wife so much that she had to feel sorrow for them for the loss of their father and husband.

Rachael was silently grateful that Raye asked the questions that could not take voice from the stern Watchwoman. Glass was refilled with single malt scotch.

Yes, hell had frozen over and Raye had asked how Seiri was. Old irritations hardly mattered now...not when something like this had occurred.

The bottle of tequila was pulled from the table and the elf tried to open it with shaky hands. Finally she lifted it up for whomever would attempt to crack the seal.

"Miss Seirichi is strong like any noble Adenna woman should. She understands that Dyarhk had died a hero, there is no point to shed tears." Nayun touched to her jacket taking the time to straighten it out as she spoke. "The children are children. Miss Corea is still, I believe, in mourning."

Cor reached down and grasped the bottle in his hands. A quick strain of his wrists and the seal was cracked, leaving it open for Raye as he handed it back down over her shoulder.

Kruger?s fingers trailed slightly down Raye?s shoulder blade as he dropped his hand away, there was another here that was feeling the loss. He moved over to Rachael's table, and knelt down in front of her. His branded face looked to hers. ?Is there anything that you need??

Shielded sapphires flicked down to Kruger as Rachael spoke. "I never got to kiss him. That was his prize for winning a match. And I never gave it to him." Silver trickled down to trace the scar along the left side of her face.

"No point to shed tears? Except to grieve the loss of a man that made life mean something. She is a strong Adennian woman, which is why I am certain her sorrow is given the outlet of tears when she is alone, otherwise she would not remain so strong."

Rayvinn sobbed as she heard Rachael, remembering the night of dueling that the woman spoke of. She had instructed Rayvinn to give the kiss to Dyarhk. "I'm sorry Rach. You told me to give him that kiss instead. Gods..I am so sorry." Raye sloshed tequila all over her hand as she took the bottle and placed it onto the table.

She looked guiltily away from Rachael back to Nayun. "If there is something I can do for his family, regardless if I can come to Adenna, please let me know. If they need gold, I wish to assist them. It is the least I can do."

"Where he is, he will feel it." Rachael?s gloved fingers lightly brushed her diamond and turquoise Key.

"What Miss Seirichi does alone is none of my concern." Monotone let loose. Sights shifting over to Rachael after the elf had spoken her name, and then returned a few seconds later. She took a moment in silence to think of what to say. "I am sorry for your loss." It sounded a bit forced coming from her lips.

Rachael gave a dip of raven haired head. "And I mourn your loss."

"Nayun, I am sorry for -your- loss as well. Thank you for trying to understand."

Nayun?s brow perked. Your loss. "Yes." Then the awkward silence returned. Her sights keeping themselves locked onto Raye in stare.

Don't Save the Best Shoes for a Special Occassion


It was only a few scant minutes before Cor returned with the shoebox in his hand. He had poured the speed on once he was outside of the Outback as he hadn't wanted to leave Raye alone for longer than he needed. And he was quickly moving to her table and setting the box atop it. He offered her a smile and reclaimed his seat.

Rachael?s lips twitched faintly at the sight of the shoebox. Raye and her shoes.

Another big, sloppy drink of the silver tequila was taken before she sat down the bottle and took the lid from the shoebox that read DeCausey in fancy red lettering. Her lower lip quivered and the tears threatened to spill again as she slid one of the silver t-strapped high heel sandals encrusted in shiny rhinestones from the box and held it in her lap. A light stroking of fingers over the straps and she was smiling a little. "He was so funny about these shoes. He said he wanted to help me rebuild the collection that was left behind at Jono's house. He said he wanted me to remember him when I wore them."

Her chest heaved as she forced down the cries that were strangled in her throat. "Did he not understand that I would never forget someone so embedded in my heart? I will never forget...but I will remember harder when I wear these shoes."

Rayvinn kicked off the Nike on her right foot and pulled off the footie before lifting that foot to cross over her knee. The shoe was slipped on and the strap around the ankle fastened. The same was performed on the left foot and she held her shimmering feet out in front of her. "Not quite as bright and shining as his smile...but I will have to make due."

She stared at the shoes for a few more moments, silent and contemplative before closing her eyes and allowing silent tears to trail down her cheeks. The shoes....looked awesome on her feet, however!

Rachael smiled. "I will never forget the fireworks. And drinking contests."

Rayvinn suddenly burst out laughing even as the tears kept rolling when she heard Rachael. "We drank a huge boots of beer when Cor and I went to Adenna. Seventy-two ounces. It was great. Dyarhk ordered one and when I ordered what he was getting, he didn't believe I could drink it." Just...scoffs.

"Oui. He did not believe that I could drink, or eat, as much as I did, either"

"I think he was impressed by such things."

"Oui. I got him many free meal coupons."

"I bet he loved that."

"He did. It made him smile."

?I miss his smile.?

Rayvinn looked over at Cor and smiled weakly. "I'm really glad the Adennian people thought you should have been a contestant in the competition. I have the best memories of him from that trip. When we were dancing in the elevator." She couldn't help but laugh.

"Dy...he..could dance!" Raye hadn?t been able to say his name.

"Oui, he could dance." Rachael agreed.

Cor returned her smile, nodding. ?It's good that something good came out of that trip. I'm glad you were able to take those memories with you.?

"I'm sorry I snuck into your room and cut your finger while you were sleeping. I had to check for green blood, though." Spoken as if it made all the sense in the world.

Rayvinn finally stood, pulling the bottle of tequila up with her, and walked her very best long legged high heeled walk in those shoes. She knew Dyarhk would have been so happy to know that she totally saw them dancing in her mind. Which, of course, caused a fresh round of tears.

Walking back to the table, running pants threatening to cover the tops of her shoes, Raye gave up trying to hold them up and plopped back into her chair and began stuffing the items from her bag back into it.

"I remember when he sat with Reap after he was shot. We had a misunderstanding and I was angry at him. I think a lot of people misunderstood him. He was a lover of people...more than any other thing. He wanted to make every person feel special, to understand love...because that is what he was and what he did. I will never forget what he taught me.?

Rayvinn stood abruptly. ?I want to go home now."

She slid the bag over her shoulder and took the tequila in that hand before picking up the shoe box. Her Nike's? Just left laying there on the floor. She moved towards the steps in her workout clothes and fancy bejeweled shoes like it was the most natural thing in the world to do.

?Don't save the best shoes for a special occassion. Wear them everyday...?...that was what she was thinking. She thought Dyarhk would have approved.

"Bonsoir." Rachael remained seated at the table, scotch glass in her gloved hand.

Cor nodded along with Raye. He didn't disagree with her, even though his thoughts on Dyarhk were somewhat different. Instead he scooped up her Nikes and gathered them in one arm as he hurried to catch up to Raye. His other arm went around her shoulders as they wandered towards the exit. His fingers lifted for a moment in a parting wave to Rachael.

"Travel safely, oui?"

Rayvinn walked back over to Rachael and slid her arms around her friend before kissing her cheek. "He knew you loved him and I am sure he loved you as well. I don't think he knew how to stay angry at someone he cared for. Remember that part of him. Forget the anger because that wasn't who he was." All of this was whispered rapidly before Raye stood up again.
The embrace and cheek kiss were returned. "Oui, that is what I hold onto, his caring."

"I will see you soon, Rachael. Please be careful going home."

"Oui, you will, on the Isle. I will."

Raye ran back to Cor, muttering once she was there. "I'll stay at your house since there are wards. If Jack f*cks with me over this, I am going to shoot him. You better answer my phone if he calls." So much for the talk of loving people, right?!

Cor nodded once. ?I think that's a good idea.? But this his expression went slightly dubious as she mentioned her phone. ?Okay, that I'm less sure about. You better show me how to answer it first...?

She pulled it from the pocket of her hoodie and pretended to drop it on the ground then lifted one of her heels up prior to tapping it to the ground and grinding it. "Just like that...only stomp harder. You aren't wearing shows as pretty as mine....its okay if you hurt yours."

Cor's expression as he watched suggested there might have been something missing from her explanation, but he nodded along. ?That doesn't..seem like it would work very well, but you're the expert here. That's how I'll answer it.? He chuckled and lifted a boot up to stare inquisitively at it. ?I think my boot'll probably win.?

And out she went, sauntering-sashaying-prancing...call it what you will. It was the walk of being in a pair of sexy shoes and knowing how to work them. "Most likely. Also, you will carry me and use super speed so I don't wear these shoes out. They have to last two thousand years or until the Armenians find me and kill me. Whichever."

More chuckling and Cor strolled behind Raye, one hand going behind her thighs and the other her shoulders as he dipped and scooped her up into his arms. He'd carry her this way until they were a safe enough distance away to kick it into top-gear. In the meantime. ?You know, you could probably take them to a cobbler and have extra pairs made...?said reasonably before they were outside and then streaking off towards his townhouse.

She punched him at the suggestion of her shoes being mutilated. She was obviously not thinking the same thing he was.

The glass was lifted to Rachael?s lips and lowered empty to the table. She rose slowly from her chair. The black leather trenchoat was slipped on. Measured strides took her to one of the punching bags. Left gloved fist buried into the punching bag. "Damn you, Dyarhk." Unscarred cheek rested against the mutilated punching bag. "Damn me too." She pulled her fist free. Measured strides took her to the double doors and beyond.

This Is What He Means To Me...


"So." Starting it off like that. She'd fall silent once more - just waiting to see what the woman had to say.

"So." Bloodshot gray-green eyes stared back at the Siouvanui. "Nayun gave you my note or told you of my desire to see Dyarhk's grave?"

"She did." Arms crossed under her bust. Her body leaning more against her chair. "I'm still debating if I should allow you to see it or not."

"Alright." The bottle was drawn towards her and lifted to her lips for a long drink that she really didn't need.

"How do I make this happen?" She didn't have flowery words and she had cried herself dry after nearly two days of doing just that. What she had was candor so she was just laying it out there.

"You could start by not drinking. I'm not having a drunk defile his grave." Seirichi pursed her lips in obvious annoyance.

"I haven't the slightest intention of defiling his grave. I only wish to pay my respects." The bottle was pushed away for now. It was going to be a while before she wasn't drunk, however.

Lips parted. Tongue ran across her teeth before pulling so they could click against one another. "Now.. I've taken into consideration that you took the time to attempt to contact the Queen about this.. But even she knows this is a family matter."

Leaning back more against the chair, her head tilting to the side.

"I don't know who you are.. So, I'd like to tell me what Dyarhk was to you."

"What he meant to me or what our relationship was?"

There were a couple of different meanings that could be derived from that question. As for not knowing who she was, Raye had possibly lucked out.

"Both." A dismissive sort of wave given.

"We were friends. He was someone I loved. I would also say that he was someone that taught me some lessons about life and I respected him. He was more than any of this and I can't really put it into words. I just know part of me is empty now."
She felt the sorrow rising again, from that dark little place she had stuffed it in order to pull herself together enough to walk in here. Leaning forward to grab the bottle of tequila, she stopped just before her fingers wrapped around the neck of the bottle. Her words were a failure and she knew this. Jaws clenched together; she was sure they would break but she pulled her hand
back from the bottle and continued to stare Seiri in the eye, not even hiding as they began to mist over again.

Little to no attention was offered to the young Adennian while she went about leaving. Seirichi had her focus fully on Raye as of now. She'd listen, and listen. Her lips only parting enough to let out a small exhale of a breath - but no words. Not till twenty or so odd seconds passed when the misting of the elf?s eyes began.

"Good enough." She'd rise up then from her seat. "I was expecting some trivial trash of how he smiled or made you laugh."

Sunglasses brought up and slid over her features."You want to come to Adenna and see his grave? You follow exactly what I say and you'll be able to."

"He did make me laugh."

She shrugged after letting out a deep sigh that was relief as well as sudden realization that this was real, the death of her last shred of hope that this was just a nightmare. She had known it was real to an extent but it was still not completely real in her mind because there had been no goodbye, no grave, no real explanation. Rayvinn didn't do well with reality. Especially not sober. But she had to be stronger than that this time. For Dyarhk she would be. She owed him that much, at least.

"I'm listening."

"You'll be with me at all times within the city, unless I say different."

Seirichi shifted some. Her hip pushed out and a palm found itself placed against it. "I don't know much about you, but you have a body of a warrior. You'll keep your eyes down and not speak with any other woman who isn't me.. Once more, unless I say different."

Opposite hand rose up to brush against short brown locks of hair. "Dress modest, and be prepared to get wet. It's the rainy season right now." Hair stroking hand fell to her side.

"That's all I can really say beyond the obvious. Just don't do anything stupid to get yourself killed." Huff of a breath let out. "I'm guessing you plan on coming as soon as possible?"

Rayvinn just nodded. "I've been to Adenna before. I didn't get into too much trouble aside from some man named Mage dragging me and my friend to Dyarhk because some stupid boy decided to lie." Or something like that. Raye had just spoken the largest number of
consecutive words in two days.

"Yes, I am a warrior...I am unsure why I would keep my gaze averted since that would show weakness. As for dressing...modest casual? Modest dressy?" This could pose a problem since Raye had decided she wasn't removing the shoes Dyarhk had given her. No, a normal person probably wouldn't think such a thing. A grieving lunatic with a serious love of shoes, however...

"That's the point. To show weakness. You must of came during the swimsuit contest.. It was a lot of trouble making sure most of the women kept their fists to themselves, but right now it's a time of isolation. Adenna is closed off to the rest of the realm and many will take the opportunity to challenge an outsider without reason. You'll be there to visit a grave, not to cause problems." Seirichi didn't exactly feel like explaining herself and wished the woman have simply nodded and went along with what she said - but there was no real show of annoyance.

"Casual, dressy. I'll leave that up to you."

Raye hoped that wherever Dyarhk was now, he could see the lengths to which she was going in order to say goodbye to him. Show weakness while in a city full of warriors? Yes, she probably did need to learn to be more humble...but that didn't mean she really wanted to and especially not in this way.

"You are correct. I will be visiting a grave and will behave accordingly." Did anyone hear the clack of her teeth clamping shut?

January 19th.

Wading Barefoot Through the Grief

Sobering up a bit more than usual in the past week from the mass quantities of alcohol, Raye sat on the edge of the couch in Cor's living room, awakened from yet another of the endless nightmares that plagued her these days.

Leaning forward, a sword callused hand placed on either side of her head, the elf gave herself over to yet another release of the tempest of grief that roiled within her. Violent sobs wracked her thin frame as she rocked back and forth rhythmically; elegantly long fingers clasped and released within sleep disheveled hair.

When she was finally exhausted and no more tears would flow, Rayvinn breathed in deep, cleansing breaths before sitting upright once more. Her mind had cleared as if the tears had been a rainstorm washing away the muck and grime that seemed to coat everything in her life lately.

Jade hues were shut tight as she fought against one of the louder voices in her head that urged her to remain stagnant in her grief, never letting go and remaining a broken shell. Memories of a family lost and countless friends slaughtered flowed through the elf's broken mind. She was never allowed much reprieve from these images, these longings for the home, love, and warmth that had been her life before Lialin ripped it all away from her with every brutal, vengeful cut of his sword. Usually it could be tempered, shoved down so that she could function with some semblance of normalcy even if she was still somewhat unstable. When tragedy struck, such as the death of Dyarhk, whom she loved, all of that old grief flowed to the surface to commingle with the new until a hurricane force of despair assaulted her mind and any small voice of reason was crushed beneath the onslaught.

It was the quieter voice of rational thought that urged her to take this next step. It had survived the storm of alcohol and violence that Rayvinn had clung to as a life preserver, to help her cope, as she didn't possess the less destructive coping mechanisms that most normal people utilized. This voice coaxed her to remember whom she grieved and what he had lived his life for. It reminded her that Dyarhk would never have wanted this complete withdrawal from life, this sloppy drunkenness and endless grief that sucked the vitality from the normally vivacious elf. It kicked the her hypersensitive instinct for survival into high gear. Every other aspect of Rayvinn's personality could change in the time it took a person to blink but this was the one constant...she could survive nearly anything (and had). Despite her sometime desire not to. Despite the desire of her nemesis. Despite the gods themselves, as she was convinced they were all plotting against her.

In one swift, deliberate movement, Rayvinn leaned down and unfastened the strap of one shiny shoe, the pair given to her by Dyarhk the last time she had seen him; the pair she had put on upon hearing the news of his death. They had been of some comfort as her twisted mind required something of him to latch onto in order to bear the loss. They hadn't been removed, not even for sleep, aside from showering, and that hadn't occurred for the first several days. Hands trembled lightly as the lovely shoe was slipped from her foot; she stared at it for a few moments, silently. The action was repeated with the other shoe and the pair were clutched to her midsection as her body dropped forward and keened one last sorrowful cry. A last lament for the dead.

Once the hard edge of her sorrow subsided once more, Rayvinn sat up again and placed the shoes upon the floor next to the couch she had been sleeping upon. Legs were bent and drawn tightly to her chest as she settled into the corner of the couch with her head turned so that one cheek was pressed against the cushions upon the back of it. Gray green eyes gazed into the darkness, seeing yet not, as she moved through a litany of names and faces. Her lips moved silently as she spoke each name, in remembrance and honor, adding Dyarhk's name at the end.

It was at the end of this list that the idea came to her. Dyarhk had a resting place in Adenna, though there were no physical remains. He did not, however, have a monument to honor him here in RhyDin where there were many that loved him. Where he had given so much of himself for the benefit of others. Raye pulled herself from the corner of the couch and reached for her bag, pulling out a piece of paper and a pen and began to sketch the picture that was vividly within her mind.

A ghost of a smile played gently upon her features, even if it didn't reach her eyes. The squeezing of her heart had not subsided but perhaps the specter of death had been forced to loosen it's grasp.

Rayvinn had waded through her grief, sometimes barefoot, and had come out on the other side; the side that urged her to create instead of destroy.