Kruger woke with that startled exhale and half shout that he was becoming so used to. It was early, and somehow he had gone from sleeping on the table at the arena to a room upstairs. It was likely Rachael since she was the last with him. His body was quivering from the session in Adenna. Strange, how running would set his entire body to quivering. He sat and put his legs over the side of the bed, his goal was the bathroom and relief from all the water he had consumed since his return. There was a light burning, so he could see his goal, but as he hit the floor his legs nearly wouldn't support him. It took every bit of concentration to make the desk just across the room he grabbed at its edges to steady himself.

The desk had a pad of paper already placed in a position for writing, as if somehow the inn itself knew that he would need to write at this moment. The ink bottle had a stopper, making it easy to open with a shaking hand. Kruger focused every thought he had on grabing the quil and filling the nib. He managed to scrawl out a few words before the slowly increasing violence of the shakes made anything more than toddler like lines impossible. The grip on the desk failed when his legs gave out, the quill skitterd across the desk and fell into a waiting trash can. All Kruger could manage to do was crawl beneath the desk. He hugged knees to his chest and lay there shaking. The desk shook with him, and that opened ink bottle toppled onto his hastily scrawled letter. It covered over those jagged lines that were all he could manage at the end, but it never advanced far enough to blot out the words he wrote.


Raye.....someone...please...kill...me

Kruger watched as Andrea went through the door of the Slipkey Hotel. He trailed her silently drawing no attention to the fact that he even knew her. He kept a space between them large enough to not draw any suspicions from her guide to the city. Raye had told him to keep quiet about her location, the fact that Andrea was here could mean one of two things. Either she figured out where Raye had gone, or she had been invited. In either case he would wait to see if Andrea were turned away or sent on. She didn't even stop at the desk though, Kruger took this as a sign that she had indeed been invited and that meant Raye was still present at the hotel. He eased up to the front of the desk. He supposed the best situation would be if Vincent were on duty then at least he wouldn't need to refer to Raye as the RhyDin elf.

It wasn't Vincent who showed up as he rang the little service bell. It was another of those short but imposing women. She was armed, no big surprise there, most of the women he had seen were. Kruger had not brought weapons here, well there was the Desert Eagle, but that didn't really count. It wouldn't be easily reachable in a fight. He carried it for premeditated actions, it was his just in case I need it weapon.

She took a position on the opposite side of the counter and gave him a may I help you eyebrow raise. "Is Vincent around? He'll already know what I want." He said it plainly with no edge to his voice. Just a quick question and the awaiting of an answer.

She shook her head as she spoke to him. "He's stepped out for his lunch, may I be of service?" She gave his wide frame a look so close that Kruger felt like he had just been readied for auction. A sound came from her that might have been a snicker, he assumed it was due to the Support Aurast Now tee he was wearing.

"An elf from RhyDin checked in, would you see that she gets this?" He laid another letter on the counter before her.

The woman took the letter and put it into the slot that read 512 before turning back to him. "I've seen you out running with Nordem Sparks." It was a statement of fact, though the with part was grossly exaggerated. Nordem had run with Kruger once, on that first day. Kruger felt that he was just showing him the route, so that he wouldn't get lost. Since that day They would start out together, and maybe stay that way for a few blocks, but then Nordem would out pace him and Kruger would be left alone with his thoughts. A good thing when you were wrtiting letters.

"Yeah, we do some running together." He stepped away and turned to leave, the sound of her voice stopped him short. She was closer than he expected her to be, right at his ear in fact.

"You're association with him cannot protect you if you continue to use such unveiled threats. Vincent is a horrible gossip, but that is what makes him good at his job." She didn't have to say what she was referring too.

"Killing me will bring you no honor, I'm already doomed." He began his trek to the door once again, and headed out into the streets.





Raye,

I am an ungrateful buffoon. This is what I have come up with since you found me at the Inn. I'm not all together sure why it was you that found me but I'm glad.

I haven't been back to the duels, I need to get through this first I think. The duels are a dangerous place for me right now. Instead I spend more hours at the forge, and when not there I am here in Adenna training. I can't seem to bring myself to face those people yet. I never know who I am bringing with me.

I see them look at me some of them care...but I feel nothing. I'm empty right now, used up every part of me feels burned away in this struggle. Will I ever feel again? I tried to write to S'jira, but couldn't make the words come again. Is this how it is supposed to be? I hold on to the thought that maybe I can go back again, but I just feel that I will fall again.

Some anvil huh? I am hardly the never defeated today am I? I guess that even an anvil can be broken eventually. I listen to Robin as she tells me what I need to do. Her words and the actions of my body are all I have she makes no requests of me, she gives me demands. Places expectations on me that I must meet. Like someone else did for me. So thank you Raye...for having expectations, for picking me up when no one was around.

Yours,

Kruger

There was a knock upon Rayvinn's hotel room door along with the call of "Housekeeping." The elf stood from her perch upon the bench in front of the piano and strolled across the luxuriously appointed room to answer the door, offering a friendly smile to the woman that stood on the other side of the threshold.

"Your mail, Ms. Darkmont." She held out three pieces of unevenly folded parchment and Rayvinn reached out to accept the letters with a quizzical arch of her brow.

Stepping aside so the woman could enter the room and perform her duties, Raye unfolded the top piece of parchment as she walked towards the one of the overstuffed couches and sat upon the armrest with one leg drawn up and the other pressed to the floor to maintain her balance. A deep frown furrowed her brows as she read about Kruger's duel with Rhi. A light shake of her head given as she muttered, "What are you trying to do to yourself, Kruger?" She knew what he was trying to do and she might just help him along if he didn't cease this madness.

The parchment was refolded and placed at the bottom of the small stack before unfolding the second letter. After reading the first couple of paragraphs, the elf smiled a little. "Work and working out...that is exactly what you should be doing during this. Good." Though Kruger wouldn't hear her praise of him, it was spoken anyway. Her brow furrowed once again as she read the rest of the letter then folded it up and placed beneath the one prior.

The last of the letters was opened and the elf was sliding from her seat upon the armrest and walking to the master bedroom of the suite, even as she read. ?Hey Andrea, I need to get back to RhyDin as soon as possible. Gotta take care of Krugs. Do you want to go with me or stay here?? Rayvinn began pulling clothes off of the hangers in the closet and stuffing them into a new bag that Sarina had purchased on her behalf.

?I?m ready to go back now. This place is crazy.? Apple began gathering her belongings as well and soon the two women were riding the elevator down to the lobby where they stepped out onto the gleaming marble floor. After stopping at the front desk to check out and request Tori, the witch from Liltu, to be their guide and transport back to RhyDin; Apple and Raye stood near the front doors of the hotel to await her arrival.

?Don?t forget to keep your head down and don?t look at anyone, Apps. We?ll be back in RhyDin soon.? Raye reached out to curl her fingers around Andrea?s.

?Like I could forget that, Raye. I don?t want to die here!? She squeezed Raye?s hand and sighed in relief when she saw Tori entering the hotel.

Raye just grinned at Apple?s words then offered a polite smile to the Liltu witch as she approached the pair. ?Thank you for taking us back.?

Tori started to remind the pair about keeping their eyes averted but stopped with a bit of a grin as Raye finished the admonishment for her.

A few minutes later, after a brisk walk filled with less than friendly stares, the trio arrived in the Liltu district and were finally ported back to RhyDin.

Running up the steps to Apple?s room in the Outback and depositing her stuff on the floor, the elf turned to grin at Andrea. ?We are gonna go buy Kruger a boxer puppy. Any idea where a pet store is around here??

Yesterday?s letter sat unsent, Kruger was waiting until he could get back to Adenna and take it to the Slipkey hotel himself. That he had another in front of him was no surprise, though he was thinking heavily over the words he wanted to use. Nothing had really changed since yesterday, what was he supposed to say to her today? His brow descended in anger at himself; surely he has something to talk about. Perhaps it was best to just begin and see where his words would take him.

Raye,

There has been little change since my last writing to you. I should be happy about that I suppose, but I am not. The nights are still long, the dream has gone but that leaves me with more time to contemplate S?jira?s absence. Should I go to Llothgar to find her? I?m asking because I just don?t know. I have given her messages, much as I have to you. It?s true they have been less frequent now?I would have expected an answer already though. Is it possible that I somehow drove her away? I know I have been acting erratically lately, I honestly can?t remember much of the last few days we were together.

I still hold to hope that she will return to me, if she can. Maybe I am just fooling myself though. Perhaps I should write her off as a cost of my recovery?no, I can?t do that. I have committed myself to her; it is nearly the same for her as it was for you. I do mean nearly, she is mine, not as a possession, but something more. I need her like the lodestone needs the iron to be effective. Like the flint needs the steel to make a spark that is what she is to me. The night is still long though, and I am still alone through it. It is sometimes easier to acquire those things that you shouldn?t have but crave than it is to fight the craving. I don?t know how many times I opened the complimentary bar only to pull away from it again. I would have it removed except that the battle is something I have started looking forward to.

Eating has been strange lately. I can?t seem to stomach the amounts I used to partake of. This could be good or it could be bad I suppose. Nayun would count it fortunate that I have limited my calorie intake, Seiri would say I was nuts for doing so. Speaking of Seiri and Nayun, tomorrow we will lunch together in Adenna. Unfortunately the treat will be mine due to a loss in a duel. It was a fun one though, I had none of the lingering thoughts of?well you know I suppose. It lasted quite some time too. I honestly look forward to this outing. I haven?t really had much time with Nayun since Aurast?s last victory. It is a real shame that he lost this week. I had hoped to see him take the whole thing.

You have helped me unselfishly, and to no end. I can?t help but wonder what if anything I can do for you? I am not rich, but have done well for myself recently, neither am I powerful, unless you count bench pressing. Name what I can do for you though and I will do whatever I can to accomplish it. It seems I had more to say than I thought. I will leave you to your day.

Thank you for helping me regain my honor,
Kruger

My dear friend Raye,

It has been some time since my last letter. If the truth is told, I have been holding out for better words. When we started this there was always much going on?it changed daily, now my routine is very much the same. I have stayed away from the duel venues until recently, and that only to fulfill a promise I gave. Now it is difficult for me to face the places I once went so easily. The desire to fall to my old ways is strong when I am there. Why is it that things that are bad can be so overpowering? I am sure I don?t know. Maybe the flaw lies within me. That would seem to fit, I have so many that need addressing as it is.

Hammer grows as puppies do, though he becomes more curious with everything. There is a point at which I think he would sniff every tree in the forest just to be able to name them later. I am tolerant to a point, but it is at that point that I have to call him to heel and move on to our projected destination. I feel strangely at peace when we walk through the forest Raye. Does that make any sense? I have lived in the cities for most of my life, but out there I find something?I don?t know what it is. It?s a pity that I don?t have the gift of words Raye. I would love to be one of those poets for a small time just to find the root of what I am feeling. I suppose that I would need to give up a gift as well, I am not willing to give up anything for any reason.

I hope that you are well, and in one piece. I almost can?t remember the last time I saw you. It was at that dance, and the encounter was brief. I miss all of my friends, each in their own way. Perhaps it is time to come out of hibernation; there is much that I need to attend to.

I am here for whatever you need,
Kruger

It had been some time since his last letter to the elfess. She had a way of sneaking into your bones and hiding away to come back later and ache with the coming rain. Not that the ache was bad, in fact he missed it without ever knowing what it was he had missed. He had needed an excuse to find his way to Jack's firing range, so he came up with one. The spare parts of Andrea's gunblade were assembled for him. It was time to test and sight in. Reality was there in Jack's expression, he knew the truth behind the smith's arrival. Or at least he appeared to know, it could just be the memories of the photos from the last time Krug's had been involved with a missing Raye. The smith handed over an envelope with the days rental for the range. Within was another envelope sealed and written. He didn't address it, there was no possibility of knowing what name Raye would be under cover in. Jack would know and make the necessary additions to the envelope.

Kruger looked hard at Jack though it didn't seem to mean much to the man. Hard to say if that was practice or if he really didn't consider the smith a threat. Kruger moved on to sight in the newly put together gunblade. The letter found its way into Jack's office for 'processing'.

Sister of my heart,

I can still feel the burn of your green eyes on me. I always wondered if you truly disapproved in those looks or were masking it to keep from laughing at me. Arrogant, I have been that and more and still been accepted by you. Awkward, I think the both of us know exactly what I mean by that, yet the ghost of it haunts me with the news of your departure. One thing we have never been to one another though is disloyal. You are safe, I will hold the secret you entrust to me. I am sorry that I have been so long in responding. It won't be the first time I was later than I should have been. You speak of Reap, and honey I haven't seen him for a very long time. I still hold his treasure though I wonder if he will want it when he does return. Everything changes...I change. I stay away...I don't make those duels much. It's fine, I have plenty to do. I have responsibility..and that is supposed to mean something. I don't know what though. Don't ever feel that you can't ask me again for what I have given before. I would sacrifice far more for you than anyone has ever understood. It is strange that we are apart but remain close. In short, Andrea won't hear from me that you live. She won't know what I know. If you need me in that same capacity again, I will leave her out even at the cost of my own life, unless you say otherwise. Just tell me to bring you a rare Rhydinian Apple, and I will understand. Come back to us though. Please...my dear sister.

At your command,
K.

Raye,

I?m still here, you?re still gone. You should know that I have kept your request, nothing has passed my lips about you still being alive. That could have changed by now I suppose, though if it has your friend at the firing range fails to tell me. Could be he?s afraid to see what happens when I lose complete control. I prefer to think that you are still out there and that eventually these letters reach you.

There never seems to be a response from you, that?s less of an issue than it might have been once. I do understand that you are busy, and with that comes neglecting to do things that aren?t a priority. You?re still a priority to me Raye, I don?t see that ever really changing. I worry sometimes, hoping that you are in a place where your mind has found some kind of peace. There was always so much going on in that head of yours. My hopes are probably just that though, the wishes of a friend who is far away and unable to give more than good thoughts. I keep the bad ones at bay with a good crisp headbutt. I hope you find that amusing, it made me laugh to write it and you know how I hate to laugh alone.

The city, nothing changes, not really. The faces perhaps but it is always the same conglomeration of issues. I wonder if you will find that comforting. I wonder a lot of things really, like do I ever cross your mind as you do mine? I could be arrogant and say of course it is true, but in my head I know it doesn?t really have to be. There is still emptiness here inside me that belongs to you. We were never more than friends, but that doesn?t mean there wasn?t a place. We both know no one could ever really fill that place either. No one has wanted to try so far as I can tell, and that too is a good thing. How much longer before you have completed your tasks, or is it too much to bear to be back here again?

It?s okay to run Raye, but if you run too far you will only find yourself back here again. Promise you will take time to stop and remember.

Yours,
Kruger

My dearest of friends,

So negligent I have been in correspondence. I assumed, perhaps wrongly, that Jack might have passed on a few words during one of our meetings when I came back in from the cold. You always said not to trust him, and in these sorts of circumstances, I do not. With my life, however, he has never failed me and I will always trust him to find a way to bring me back alive. He has done so for us both and for that we should both be ever-grateful to the man.

Now that the unpleasant business is out of the way, you might like to know that my mission is over and I am in the process of being debriefed before coming home. Funny that I call RhyDin home but it has become so. Perhaps due to the people more than the place, though I find the insanity of the city a welcome embrace at times. I belong there.

I write ahead of my arrival with the hope that you might go to Corlanthis and obtain some of my money and find me suitable quarters. The last place I stayed was my loft and I don't feel any urge to return there at this time given the circumstances in which I left. I also won't burden Corlanthis by overtaking his home as I have so many times in the past. I think it is obvious why I cannot stay at the Inn or any hotel in the city. Besides, I think I need my own space and perhaps solitude. It has been so very long since I have been alone while not working. I have always filled my time with some distraction or other in order to prevent myself from having to deal with life. I think it is time to face life on my own terms.

So, my dear friend, it may not be at all long until you see me gliding across that broken pavement in heels again as you mentioned in your letter.

~R.

Raye,

Looking forward to seeing you. I've attempted to find Cor, but in truth he's been conspicuously absent from the usual places. Finding you a place has been easier though. Perhaps I managed to use some of my own funding to secure it. The place is small, number 25 over on Beaker Street. I wasn't overly specific with the guy renting it out, mostly I am trying to maintain your privacy. For a few dollars more he was able to overlook things like background checks.

He's a bit seedy, don't trust him... I don't. Still there are plenty of folks who are more than willing to do some arm bending on your behalf if needs be. I count myself among them. True, you hardly need it, but also true it isn't about what you need so much as what you already have. The place is clean at least, the neighbors pretty much stay to themselves. I did try to pick out some pretty ones for you but you know my eye for men is not very good. You will find they tend to have the one thing I know you like, beat down scars.

Come see me and I'll gladly give you the key, take you there if you don't know the way already. I assume a lot sometimes. Things change, people change too. I will always remain though.

Krugs

January 12th

A letter was slipped under the door of Raye's room at the Inn, early in the morning. Shadow had not been sure she would be there - or even if he was yet in the city - but he was unwilling to seek her out magically. As if such as her could be found that way; he imagined she had no small amount of protection, if she was anything like as careful as he thought. So he rolled the dice and had a discreet courier deliver it to the space she rented. The shuffle of paper against wood heralded its arrival. It was written in the Common tongue of Rhy'din, though the words themselves flowed like Elvish, full of whorls and loops. the envelope itself was sealed in thick, red wax, pressed with the heraldic symbol of Battlefield Park.

Lady Rayvinn of the Winds,

I hope this letter finds you well. I hope it finds you at all, but I had no other notion of where I could send it but to your room at the Inn.

I wronged you last week at the Hilton, wronged you in ways that I never intended. I call myself a gentleman; others call me so. But I committed one of the worst violations against gentlemanly behavior, and against a true lady, that I ever have. In just a few words, a careless action, I treated you with such disrespect that I think you might never forgive me. I would not be surprised if you do not, to be honest.

I do not think of you as a whore, but my actions that day spoke otherwise. I reach out to you now, send you these words, to tell you first, that I am truly sorry for acting like a wet-behind-the ears pup, and not giving you the respect you deserve. I know not what station you might hold, or have held, amongst our people, but if I had to guess I would say you were born to leadership, to rulership, and you deserve nothing but the highest respect.

I think my time amongst the shorter lived races has infected me with a sense of haste, a sense of recklessness, that is generally unknown to our people. And in my haste, I wounded you, and for that I have lived in a state of cold shame these last days.

I noticed you had come to watch my final match of the Iron Fists season; I noticed, and could summon no words. For that I am truly sorry. I did not mean to ignore you, but your presence there was the last thing I would have expected. And it was good to see you, to see your face, even though I knew I had caused you upset.

These words I write are simply that. Words on a piece of parchment. If you can find it within yourself to allow me to express my apologies in person, I will be in front of the Red Dragon Inn on Wednesday evening, at seven of the evening clock. Perhaps we could have a drink in the Outback or the Inn, or some tea at the Teas and Tomes. I will not attempt to draw you from your comfort to some strange hotel, this I promise.

If you choose not to meet me, I understand completely. I will not further impinge upon your time, or press you for contact. Know that I think of little now but my desire to make amends for my terrible mistake. I hope the days find you well, my Lady.

Sincerely,

Shadow of the Tides

((Cross posted here on the RoH forums))