Jewell closed her eyes in the waking world and opened them to only darkness. Huh. This was not what she had come to expect of her dreamscape. She reached out her hand and touched the air before her, already knowing that this darkness was not made up of the oily, living, writhing shadows that invaded her nightmares at times?entangling her in a dark web and choking the very life from her slowly, ever so slowly. This darkness was not oppressive but neither was it welcomed.

Then, the darkness of her dreamscape was cut through by a thick, silvery-blue line that started several feet before and above her before continuing unceasingly into oblivion. Her unconscious was drawn to the line, reaching out to not only the single source of light in this place?besides herself, with her naturally luminescent skin?but to what seemed oddly familiar in some way. The light of the line seemed to pulse, resonating with her heartbeat; perhaps that was just a trick of the eyes in the darkness, though.

As she drew closer, she realized her initial mistake. There was not just one line but many, all of varying thickness. Countless smaller lines all diverged off one main blue line at the center, some curving back around to rejoin this main line later on while others went off, fading into a blur of darkness as they sprouted off their own branches.

?A stream,? Jewell thought, as she followed the main line along from its start, tempted to reach up and touch it but keeping her distance initially. ?No--a river,? she corrected after a little contemplation. It was a river with many tributaries--the source of all the water from which many children sprang, but only some returned.

It was a marvel that she could not tear her eyes away from. She stopped without realizing it, riveted on a thick branch extending off what she had determined to be the main line. Only giving it a seconds? thought, and almost as though something or someone else was compelling her to do so, she reached up and touched it.

Jewell leaped back from the blue offshoot she had touched, once she was thrown from the scene, panting heavily. Her eyes strung as she tried to push that memory??No, not a memory, at least not mine!??from her mind. The feelings it had evoked? She had felt the lack of compassion from that other Jewell! She had wanted to scream, to beg, to tell her other self that she couldn?t possibly understand what she was doing, that she was ruining their future.

Instead, she had swung that sword. She had killed Brian Ravenlock. There was no stopping it. She had been a stranger in her own body, experiencing both her own thoughts and that of her alternate self. Jewell pressed the heels of her palms to her temples and moaned, ?What is this place??

?This is your personal time line.?

Her body tensed, just as the other person present knew it would, and Jewell spun about sharply into a defensive position, just as the other person knew she would do. However, her defensive position immediately went slack once she saw who was before her. The person also knew she would do that too.

There was no clich?, ?You?re me! But? Not me!? when Jewell saw who she now stood facing. Just a gentle cant of her head as she quickly examined what was obviously, to her own eyes, an older version of herself. The hair was different--she definitely liked the short pixie look she would one day be sporting--and her frame seemed even more delicate than her own. Otherwise, there were no discernable age marks: her face looked just as youthful as she knew hers did right now, there wasn?t the slightest hint of lines, neither was there the bending of the spine under the weight of years, nor curling of the fingers due to hard labor. The eyes were the telling point. Although Jewell knew her eyes now carried a certain hint of wisdom, sadness, and world-weariness at times, the Jewell who stood before her had deep wells formed over ages of the world for eyes.

?Personal time line?? Was all she asked in reply, though her mind was naturally bursting with questions. What kind of dream was this? Was her older self truly real and somehow standing before her in the Dream realm? It was possible, she was sure, just not highly probable. Also, why? Why was she here? Why now?

?Yes, this is the timeline of your life for this particular dimension.? There was no need for Jewell to ask the questions burning in her mind, for the future Jewell undoubtedly knew exactly what she was thinking and what she would like to know. ?This is the direction your life has taken. The branches you see are when you have made decisions, even something as small as taking a different road home, that have altered the course of your life. Sometimes the branches get absorbed back into the regular timeline of your life, while other times, for rather large decisions or decisions that have a larger effect, a whole new timeline and dimension is created. If you were the Jewell in those timelines, you would see the branch as the main??

?And my own timeline here as a branch??

?Exactly.?

?Fascinating,? she remarked dryly, though definitely intrigued by this overly simplistic explanation of lifelines, dimensions, and time. ?How many other dimensions, other realities of my life, are there??

?Countless. Limitless. Some which are very much akin to your life now, while others are as different as one star is from another.? With that, the future Jewell made a sweeping gesture with her arm, causing windows to appear around the two, each giving a glance into a separate reality of Jewell?s life.

In one, she was still clearly married to Alex and surrounded by a football team?s worth of lavender haired children.

In another, Alex was dead, and she and Lain stood before his tombstone, both looking pleased with themselves. Their hands were clasped together, each wearing a matching wedding ring; they leaned in and shared a passionate kiss.

The next window showed Jewell crying over Skyler?s grave before she killed herself.

In another: Jewell with Tara and Amthy, all living together in Count Longden?s castle along with their pet penguins and a Wonder Llama named Fred.

Jewell accepting flowers from Cor during the Cupid?s Folly dance. Later, she saw herself sitting comfortably on Cor?s lap in O.O., sipping iced tea together and making wedding plans.

Jewell kissing Harris, their blue hair complimentary in every way.

Jewell paying Baker and Reap 5,000 gold coins before opening a potato sack to reveal the real Marc Franco inside! Laughing manically, she left to get some scissors to cut off all his pink hair, not knowing she would make herself the victim of countless hate crimes from Franco fans.

Jewell working for Marc Franco, snooping about under the guise of glamour to get dirt on all the people she once called friends. No one will talk to her anymore, but that?s all right because she has her career in trashy journalism to fall back on!

Jewell married to Marc Franco. They create a gossip empire together and take over RhyDin.

Jewell married to Tara. Combining their independent wealth, ex-husbands, and multiple children, they raise an army and overrun RhyDin, taking people down using only sling-shots and possessed dolls.

The future Jewell led her younger self to a place where the timeline divided drastically, forking off into two directions with neither clearly representing the current lifeline of Jewell. ?This is your present. Some time ago you made a decision, yet you have been constantly doubting it and have considered changing your mind countless times??

?Stephen,? Jewell whispered.

Her future self nodded her head. ?Because it is still unclear what your final decision will be, neither path is clearly defined as part of your lifeline. If you go back on your decision to give him up because of what he has done, the time in which you decided to move on will be absorbed into your timeline,? she gestured to the right path, ?and you will continue on as if you had not tread the other path,? she gave a nod to the path to the left, ?in which you truly move on, at all.?

?And if I do not change my mind? If I continue with my choice??

?Then that will be your life,? she pointed to the left hand side.

Jewell pressed her lips together, thinning them out. ?Why is this such an important decision??

Her future self sighed, ?You are being given a rare chance to unmake a life-changing decision you have already made, and you have little time to do so. This is a decision that will create two realities so separate, two Jewell?s so different, that one will not be recognizable to the other.?

?You know where each will take me?? She sounded almost aghast that her future self had such knowledge, such abilities to gain that knowledge.

?I am very familiar with that path,? she nodded towards the left. ?When separate from Stephen, your life will take you to places strange and unusual that you can simply not imagine. There will be many trials, but, as always, you will emerge stronger because of them. It is a path full of adventure and great opportunities.?

Jewell paled as this heavy burden of decision settled upon her shoulders; she had been troubled with this decision for many months, feeling cruelly used and abandoned but harboring a glimmer of hope within, but only now were the true implications being shown to her. She turned to face the left-side path, focusing on it rather than her doppelganger. ?If I follow that path? will I be, I mean? do I become you??

The future Jewell canted her head to the side, explaining slowly. ?Quite possibly. There are many decisions you will make in the future along that path, some even ending in your possible death, but most versions of that path do lead you to me.?

She nodded once, slowly, eyes focused on the left hand path. Then she looked back to her future self, staring her in the eyes, ?And are you happy??

Apparently this question somehow took her future self by surprise, or else she had been prepared for it but still did not have the right answer. Her eyes widened a moment and she pressed her lips together in the way Jewell had done moments before. ?Happy?? Her voice betrayed how thought provoking the question was. ?Yes, I believe so. Not always happy and certainly not thrilled with all aspects of my life. But I am happy overall with life and many of my past decisions.?

Jewell nodded again, the answer apparently satisfactory enough. She then turned to face the right hand path, her face troubled. ?And this path, where exactly does it lead me??

Future Jewell hesitated, ?That? I do not know. There is much uncertainty that way. I can only see so far ahead in that direction before it becomes obscured by further decisions.?

?Do you even know if he will come back??

?Yes. He will come back.?

?When?? She asked eagerly, her eyes hungry for the knowledge.

?That, unfortunately, I do not know.? Her future self had turned to face the right hand path as well. ?There is no clear path in that direction, only many possibilities. He will return, and I can see the events that will most likely happen, with some variations, upon his eventual return? but after that? I do not know.? She bowed her head apologetically, sorry that she could offer no further aid in making this decision.

If possible, Jewell looked even more indecisive now. Although no details had been revealed about the other option open to her, at least she knew she would be happy. She wanted to be happy so badly. However, this right hand path offered no such promise, only Stephen. Even then, how could she know that would even last if she did wait for him? And how long would she have to wait? Did she even want to wait for him? ?What will happen when he comes back? Can you tell me that at least?? Jewell turned her eyes away from the path to face her possible future self again.

The other Jewell visibly brightened, ?Yes! That is something I can show you.? Then she hesitated, a frown flickering over her features, ?Although, I must warn you. I do not think you will like what you see.?

At the ominous warning, Jewell frowned, but she assertively stepped forward regardless. ?Show me.?

The future Jewell slightly inclined her head in a nod, ?As you wish,? before grabbing Jewell?s wrist and forcing her to make tactile contact with the right-hand timeline.

Jewell stood alone, anchored on solid ground yet staring down the length of the dock before her, as if yearning to run along its rickety length to the end. There was nothing at its end or beyond, though, at least not for the mortal eye to see. Even her eyes, grey as the stormy skies above reflected off the choppy waters, almost missed that which she was looking for far beyond the end of the dock. But there it was, on the horizon, just as she knew it would be. Just as the golden hoop in her right ear?she had finally returned it to its place after months of agonizing deliberation?let her know it would be: a small speck of a ship that she awaited most patiently, at least to the casual observer?s eye.

Others, though, would notice the impatient twirl of the ring around her finger, the way she occasionally paced back and forth, not to exercise her legs but to vent the nervous frustration building within. The colored leaves?brilliant reds and oranges?twirling about in a dance, caught on the water against the dock pilings, reminded her that this hour had been long awaited. Too long, in her opinion. She had never waited this long for anything or anyone, save that desperate chance of escape so far in the distant past now. She had tempered her impatience over the months spent apart, yet they still weighed heavily upon her. For a creature whose constant need was affection, physical and emotional, lavished upon her, this separation had been cruel indeed. Many times she had changed her fickle mind, turning her back only to turn it around again the next moment. The waiting, the uncertainty, had not been kind to her nerves.

It was over now, though. There was no need to worry anymore, save for the paranoid tendencies that brought to mind countless doubts: Were they still compatible? Had he found someone else? Should she have found someone else? On and on and on they went, but they could not temper the undeniable excitement she felt as the Pride & Fury grew closer and approached the docks, quelling all anxieties as she fairly bounced in place. He surely had seen her by now, felt her, knew she was there waiting for him.

She only had to wait until the lines were thrown down, not even secured, before he was on the dock. He just stood there and looked at her, surely a sight for sore eyes: a siren dressed in silver layers, the fabric made for much warmer weather, whipping about her form, blue hair curled yet mussed by the wild autumn winds that came off the water.

It was impossible to tell later who moved first. That evening as they sat, curled together on a chair made for one?perfect for them, they thought, as they were one once more?they teased each other, each claiming the other had broken down first, had been the first one to bridge the now short, yet seemingly still too far, distance between them. The truth was, though, that they had finally met each other halfway, throwing themselves into an embrace that closed out the rest of the world and its worries?past, present, and future?and leaving only the two of them.

?You?re here, you?re here, you?re really here,? she repeated countless times against his neck, already having wet it with tears. There didn?t seem to be anything else to say at the moment, just the steady mantra of stating the obvious. The months of bitterness, of anger, loneliness, and all the words (both welcoming and condemning) she had thought and planned to say in this moment completely absent.

?Aye, murinin, I be ?ere with ye now.?

?So, everything is going all right with you? All in good health? You don?t look like anything is broken,? the doctor gave her a quick once over. He rarely saw Jewell save for when she was pregnant, one of the kids was sick, or she was on death?s door, not for those the many in-between times when she was seriously injured, but she had a reputation for getting into trouble.

?No no, nothing is broken. At least not lately.? She grinned a little, fully aware of the reputation that proceeded her. ?Everything has been going along nicely, actually. My husband is home, the kids are all doing really well in school.?

?That is wonderful to hear,? he enjoyed smiling at the news; good news was so rare in his office and in many other doctors? offices in RhyDin. ?Now because neither of us enjoy beating around the bush, Lady Kidd, what have you come to see me about this afternoon??

?My husband and I would like to have a baby.? That was as direct as she ever was, and in return the doctor raised an eyebrow at her. ?I know, I know? everyone thinks I have more than enough, and they are probably right. However, Stephen and I have spent a lot of time apart lately, and we would really like to settle down a little, since the time is right, and add to the family.? She tried to sound cheerful and full of conviction, but her insides were squirming. This was what Stephen wanted though, and she wanted it so badly for him that she just couldn?t help but try.

?Jewell,? he began slowly, dropping the pretense of formalities, ?you have to know what I am going to say about this.? It was quite possible that he could sense that, while apparently serious, she was not fully on board with this decision because he eyed her suspiciously.

She held up a hand, ?I know. That?s why I came here today. I wanted you to check me over again? I wanted to know if anything had changed.? And there was a flicker of hope in her eyes. She kept telling herself that maybe this was not a hopeless endeavor, maybe things had changed, maybe it would work this time. Maybe she and Stephen could make it work somehow.

He sighed, resigned, knowing there was no arguing with this woman. ?I will check you over Jewell, but there just hasn?t been enough time for things to change. You are too young for one of your people, on top of everything else that has gone wrong??

?I know! I know what has gone wrong.? They both stopped, the room filling with an awkward silence as she spoke so sharply with him. ?I?m sorry. It?s just, we have been over this so many times, but I need to try this now.?

?All right.?

?So why?d you come all the way up here today? Not like it was a nice day for a ride or anything,? Amanda asked her mother, looking aside to her as they crossed the frozen school grounds. The snow of winter had melted but a thaw had yet to come. Everything looked sad and gray under the open, late winter sky.

?Couldn?t I just miss you and wish to see you?? She posed the question in a hurt tone, squeezing her daughter?s arm that was linked with her own.

?You wouldn?t have asked to walk with me alone if you didn?t have something to tell me,? her daughter pointed out perceptively. ?You would have let the others come along, just as you know they wanted to.? They both reflected for a moment on an earlier scene that had taken place within the school: triplets had thrown a fit when told to stay in the school while Amanda got to roam the grounds freely with their mother outside of recreation hour; Moradin had merely nodded, turning his attention back to the book he had been reading, but that had not been a surprise.

?You get tougher to deceive every year, you know that?? Jewell cast an annoyed frown down at the young girl. Though, she wasn?t so far down anymore, she realized; Amanda was quickly catching up to her in height. She had no doubt her daughter would be as tall as her at sixteen, surpassing her by seventeen. The knowledge twisted at her heart; where had her little girl gone?

Amanda?s triumphant smirk was her response, ?That?s what you get for insisting I take Politics every semester, you know. Part of the art of politics is the art of deception and perceiving it in others.? She spoke the latter as if quoting it from a professor, her nose stuck up high in the air.

Jewell laughed, dragging her daughter closer again through their linked arms, ?I know that only too well, sweetling.? They enjoyed a companionable silence for another few steps, the only noise being their boots crunching against the cracked earth. Jewell had never had such companionship with her mother, doubted that she would have even if her mother had lived longer. She reveled in these moments with Amanda, enjoying them as best she could, knowing they could be fleeting.

With her mother lost in thoughts of the real past and the possible future, Amanda spoke up once more to break the silence, ?So? are you going to tell me or what??

?Okay, okay!? Jewell took a deep breath, shaking off worries, doubts, and amusement at her daughter?s impatience alike. She had been preparing all week for this, but still she found the words hard to say. She opted to look straight ahead, unable to meet her daughter?s eyes for this confession. ?It?s just? well, I might as well spit it out,? she could feel the impatient bristling of Amanda; ?I?m just pregnant is all.?

She said it so casually that she couldn?t help but be surprised when she continued to walk forward only to have the weight of Amanda, now stopped dead in her tracks, pulling her back. She turned halfway to look at her daughter, frowning at the fury she saw building on her face. ?Amanda?? There was no response, save that her daughter?s arm suddenly slipping from hers as if dead weight. ?Amanda, just listen to me a moment as I??

?Are you INSANE!?? The girl?s shout was a total departure from the quiet the grounds had been experiencing up until this point. ?What were you thinking? No, you probably weren?t thinking! Tell me you weren?t thinking,? switching from her wild hollering, she suddenly begged, ?Tell me that this wasn?t planned. Tell me you wouldn?t be so stupid as to plan this.?

Having endure the crazed accusations up until this point, she calmly faced her daughter; ?It was planned.?

A switch back to crazed shouting from the teen, ?This is by far the stupidest thing you could have ever done! The stupidest! You call me juvenile at times but this is worse than anything I?ve ever done! How could you? I mean really??

?If you would just be quiet for a moment,? a hint of impatience crept into her voice.

?And Pappa? How could he let you do something this recklessly dangerous? I thought at least he had more sense than that, at least when it came to your well being.? Her gestures were outrageous, fists clenched tightly as she flung her arms in the air with each new interjection.

?He doesn?t know,? Jewell responded quietly; was there a touch of guilt to her tone?

Suddenly, Amanda?s arms dropped to her side. ?What?? She asked clearly puzzled and completely missing that touch of guilt. ?But I thought you just said this was planned??

?It is and it was. What he doesn?t know about??

?You unbelievable fool,? Amanda didn?t need for her mother to finish her sentence, to tell her what Stephen clearly did not know, as she jumped to the conclusion herself. Her harsh, angry and bitter comment slipped right out.

Jewell looked like someone had slapped her in the face. Never had Amanda spoken to her so vehemently. There was silence between them for some moments before Jewell dared to broach it, ?Amanda, I didn?t think you would take this so badly.?

Her daughter spoke over her, not letting her finish once again; ?Of course you didn?t think; that has been made abundantly clear. You just follow along with whatever crazy idea pops into your head, not thinking one moment about it! How?d it go mom? Did he just say, ?Hey, let?s have a baby,?? she dropped her voice several octaves in an attempt to imitate Stephen before raising it to imitate her mother, ?and you replied, ?Sure, sounds like fun!? and off you both ran to romp around in your room some more without once mentioning to him, ?Gee, maybe this isn?t a good idea because I could DIE!? No, you didn?t say that did you. So now, instead, when things go wrong, because you know they are going to go wrong, you??

?They are not going to go wrong!? Jewell had endured this leg of Amanda?s rant, with the patience of those accustomed to teenage daughters who insult their intelligence, up until the point where she had mentioned death. All the color had drained from her face as she suddenly screamed at her daughter, high-pitched and hardly in control. She grabbed her arm, dragging her closer, ?Listen to me. Nothing is going to go wrong, and because nothing is going to go wrong, there is no need to tell Stephen.?

Amanda looked suddenly afraid at her mother?s barely constrained anger, pulling back away from her. The anger had faded somewhat from her voice, but there was still a mocking challenge there to hide any fear she may have felt; she was getting to the point where she was no longer as afraid of her mother as she should be. She no longer knew when to stop. ?How do you know? How could you possibly know something won?t go wrong? I was there for Moradin, mamma. I remember the blood. Your blood. It was everywhere. And the twins? They were so small I could hold them each in one hand, and you were in bed for months beforehand. They almost?? she swallowed hard, ?and you? How could you possibly know that won?t happen again, when that was before the iron, before??

?I know!? She released her daughter?s arm, turning away from her as she repeated more softly, ?I know. And I can?t know for sure that something won?t go wrong.? She took a deep breath, trying to steady herself after her earlier outburst. ?This is just something I have to do, Manda, and I just couldn?t tell him about all that.?

?But why??

It was a loaded question; they both knew that. With another sigh, Jewell turned back and threw her arm casually over her daughter?s shoulder, trying to rekindle some of their earlier camaraderie. ?Let?s go inside,? knowing an argument would quickly spring up as Amanda would demand to know now, Jewell tacked on, ?I?m too tired to walk much further.? That sealed it as Jewell played on her daughter?s natural fear for her health, both of them knowing how fragile it would become over the coming months. ?We can get something warm to drink, and I?ll explain better, okay??

With a nod of confirmation and defeat, they headed back towards the towering school across the open grounds.

?Last night were fun, no?? Jewell and Stephen were sprawled out on their bed, the early afternoon light trickling in through the curtains. They were rarely such late risers, especially with a brood of children running amok in the house, but all the drinking Stephen had done last night, and all the celebrating they both had done, warranted it this morning. After all, it wasn?t every night a couple announced to all their friends that they were having a baby.

?Maybe for you. I could only drink the littlest bit and had everyone wanting to rub my stomach like it?s a good luck charm.? Jewell grumped back at him in reply. Her body?s natural sleep cycle was already thrown off from the pregnancy; whereas six hours of sleep could keep her going for days at a time previously, she still felt tired this morning. It didn?t help that Stephen was sitting up, still grinning like a fool: cheerful and wide awake despite the large amounts of alcohol he had consumed the previous night, while she felt like her head wanted to be permanently glued to her pillow.

?Now murinin, ye ?ardly seem cheerful ?bout this; wha? be the problem?? He stroked her back, the gesture conveying the concern his playful words did not. ?Are ye just upset because ye could nae get as drunk as I??

She sighed and replied softly, ?No, no? that?s not it at all.?

?Then why nae tell me, love? I be nae good at readin? minds.?

She smooshed her lips together, unsure how to really broach the subject with him. Sure, he had opened up the question, but how did she phrase her answer? She decided to do so flippantly, ?I?m just worried is all.?

?Worried?? He laughed, ?About wha?, muririn? Ye be a pro at all this by now.?

She squirmed a bit uncomfortably, her own laughter an empty echo of his own. ?Well, you know it?s been many years now; the twins will be eight next autumn. And even then, not everything went perfectly through all the past pregnancies either.?

Her voice, small and somewhat timid, alarmed him as much as her words; apprehension crept into his tone along with confusion as she had never mentioned any of this before. ?Wha? do ye mean by tha?, murinin? By not everythin? goin? perfectly??

The clear fear and apprehension that came over his features, the way his hand suddenly stilled on her back, only reaffirmed her conviction that he could never know the full truth of what she was about to tell him. He would never forgive her for withholding it from him in the first place. ?It?s nothing to be looking so alarmed about, Stephen.? She laughed, rolling to be on her back and tapping him on the nose, ?Don?t go being a worry wart on me now.?

The playful tone and laughter in her eyes only belayed his fears somewhat, ?If it be nothin? tae be alarmed o?er than wha? is it??

She took a deep breath. Here it was: the greatest role of her life. She had to lie to her husband?s face, a lie of severe omission. ?It?s just?pregnancy takes a greater toll on my body than it does for most others. The doctor says it has something to do with my nature, being part human and mostly Faerie, and my age.? She bulldozed right through any objections, questions, and queries he might have had. ?It just means that I will be a lot more tired than may seem normal to you. It will be a lot harder for me to gain adequate weight, and it may even seem like I lose weight as my stomach grows.? She continued on despite the scowl growing on his face. ?And I won?t really be able to use my magic because of the strain it could put on me.?

There it was in a nutshell. The truth was somewhat out there between them, and she held her breath waiting for his reaction and response.

?Do your health be in danger, murinin?? He asked slowly, carefully trying not to give into anger over the fact that this had not been brought up before.

Now for the climax. Look him in the eye and lie, Jewell. ?No, love, of course not. Not beyond the normal risk of any pregnancy, at least.? Don?t stop talking. Don?t give him a chance to see through the sham. ?I may have to go on bed rest for a time; I did with Moradin and the twins, at least. But that was just a safety precaution. Doctors are always overly cautious with such things, you know.?

His jaw was still clenched and it caused her stomach to twist inside her. ?Why did ye nae tell me of this before??

That was an easy question to answer. The tears that stung her eyes suddenly weren?t even faked. ?I was just scared. You were so excited and I just didn?t want you to worry.?

?Murinin??

?And? it?s just frightening a little. I mean, I?m next to helpless for the next nine months. Do you know what that feels like? No magic, even glamour will be difficult?and physical defense could be dangerous. I hate being dependent on anyone for protection, you know that. And now I?m going to be nothing but dependent. I?m used to being able to protect everyone from everything, and now I won?t even be able to fight off a common housefly.? The calm tone of voice she had started out with faded quickly under rising hysteria and tears.

?Shh love,? Stephen wrapped her up in his arms. It wasn?t very often he had to comfort and console the strong woman he had married in such a way. ?There be nothin? tae be worried ?bout. I?ll be ?ere with ye the entire time. Not even a common ?ouse fly will bother ye.? He continued to whisper such reassurances into her hair while she allowed herself to be comforted in both her worries and the lies she had told.

Journal Entry
May, XXXX

Despite everything, I still believe that things are going to work out right this time. I don?t care what the doctor said. What does he really know? He can?t even pin down what exactly went wrong all the other times. He said my physiology is too different, too unique. Then how dare he assume that things will go wrong this time as well? How dare anyone think such a thing!

Can I blame them really, though? Have I not thought countless times about what will happen when things go wrong, as if it is an unavoidable reality. It isn?t, though. I refuse to think that way anymore.

Yes, I have been very tired and worn out. It isn?t any worse than when I was carrying Moradin or the twins, though. In fact, I think it just might be better than both those times. That is an encouraging thought. And with Iona?s help in addition to Stephen?s, I do not really have to worry about anything. That is a definite improvement. I am sure that the worrying is what really made things complicated the previous times; I was alone and scared those times. It is not like that this time.

Everything is going to go right; I just know it! The iron is not a factor anymore, whatever the doctor may say. Additionally, I have certainly grown since I had the twins. I am not so weak anymore. I may still be young but not as young. What could possibly go wrong? I won?t even entertain the idea that something will. In just four months our little one will be here and everything will be all right. Stephen will be happy. We will both be happy.

Can you tell I?m actually excited now? I even went out shopping for a new cradle the other day. I really feel little apprehension. It just has to work out well for us this time. It has to.

Stephen was casually browsing through the stalls of the marketplace, stopping now and again to look at something closer. He knew Jewell was getting depressed with staying home so much, so he was looking for something to keep her amused for a while. He was eyeing a collection of books, supposedly stolen documents from the Lands if the vendor was to be believed, when a light hand tapped him on the shoulder.

?Captain Kidd?? Stephen turned around, eyeing the smaller, older man dubiously. ?Captain Stephen Kidd, is it??

?Who be wantin? tae know?? The man didn?t look dangerous, but who knew what he could be carrying beneath his jacket.

?Ah, it is you! I thought so, but I just wasn?t sure. I have heard so much about you from your wife, though.? The man chatted on pleasantly, oblivious to Stephen?s suspicions.

?Me wife?? Now he narrowed his eyes at this man who his wife supposedly talked to so much.

?Oh, you musn?t think?you don?t?? He laughed, extended his hand. ?I?m sorry, I didn?t properly introduce myself. I?m Doctor Axelrod; I?m your wife?s doctor.?

All ill-will and misgivings were quickly dissolved as Stephen extended his hand, shaking the other man?s firmly, ?Ah Doctor, good tae meet ye.?

?A pleasure to meet you as well,? he released his hand after shaking. ?I?m sorry if I interrupted your shopping, but I thought it was you and I just wanted to offer you my congratulations.?

?Not a bother at all,? Stephen objected, ?an? thank ye. We both be very excited.?

?Good good. Though I must say, I was very surprised when Lady Kidd came to me when she thought she was pregnant, especially after I had advised her beforehand how dangerous it was and all.? Stephen?s brow creased but the doctor didn?t seem to notice. After spending all day talking to people who tended to ignore his advice and all night living with a wife who thought men should be seen not heard it was nice to have a listening ear. ?I was actually very surprised you had agreed to the pregnancy, really, even if she wanted to proceed with the idea despite everything. No offense to your wife, Captain Kidd, but I do know her to be rather stubborn.?

?Aye, tha? she is,? Stephen tried to laugh, making a fairly good show of it, while his concern and morbid curiosity grew. He feigned casual interest in what the doctor said desiring to find out the truth once and for all, ?Jus? wha? ?ad ye told me wife tae begin with again, Doctor? I know she told me an? all, but with things movin? along as such.? He made a gesture to show how easily things could just slip one?s mind.

?Oh yes, well you know ever since the iron poisoning, she has been particularly weak, at least for one of her kind. I understand she is able to use her magic quite well normally since the incident, but that doesn?t mean her body has recovered even if it has been a while.? He shook his head as he rambled on, apparently never having heard of doctor-patient confidentiality. ?Naturally, I wasn?t her doctor back when Moradin was born, but that really did harm her. I believe the original trauma came from before that, with the miscarriages and all, but when both she and the baby almost died when she gave birth to Moradin, it really increased her chances of that happening again. Shame I really have not done a deeper study of Faerie physiology and all.? The doctor took breath, rubbing at the bridge of his nose and completely unaware of the growing horror Stephen was experiencing. ?Then with the twins? well, we were all certainly lucky that time. It was a very close call; I believe someone had been ready to contact the mortuary before it was all said and done. I told her that with the iron poisoning added in, I really didn?t expect her to be able to carry the baby to term; I was truly scared it might even kill her this time. But things seem to be going along well enough now, despite my fears, don?t you think?? The man had the audacity to flash a cheerful and positive smile at Stephen after all that.

?Aye, well enough.? Stephen had to swallow hard against the lump that was building in his throat. He felt like crushing this little man before him, but he wasn?t the real source of his anger. ?If ye?ll be excusin? me, I got tae be gettin? ?ome tae me wife an? all.?

?Yes yes, surely. Congratulations again!? The doctor waved goodbye, but Stephen was already taking off down the street.

Jewell was in the foyer still, arms wrapped around herself like a lost child just staring at the door, an hour later when Iona came upon her. She was waiting for him to come walking back inside, waiting for him to give her the chance to explain that she did not deserve. She waited so long that her feet ached, her head spun, she felt faint. She wouldn?t move, though; she absolutely refused to. If she just stared at the door, focused on only that and let everything else become a blur, then she thought she could stand there forever waiting for him.

She started abruptly when Iona touched her shoulder gently, a kindly smile on her face, ?Jewell dearie, we should be gettin? you off yer feet now.?

Jewell looked at her as if she was coming out of a dream, where everything in her normal life?like this woman who had such a hand in raising her kids and taking care of her home for the last ten years?was strange to her and all that existed was the fight and explaining to Stephen the things she had kept hidden for so long now. ?My feet? But I need to wait here for Stephen??

?I know, lovelie, but you?d be much more comfortable waitin? upstairs, wouldn?t you? Captain Kidd will be along soon enough.? They could both pretend there hadn?t been a fight. Iona could pretend that she hadn?t overheard their raised voices earlier. She could pretend she didn?t see the fresh tear stains that marked Jewell?s forever youthful face. ?You know him, he?s probably out for a few drinks with Robert, and then he?ll be waltzin? in, forgettin? the hour. Nothin? to be worrying yourself about. He?d be just horrified if he found you standin? here all this time, waitin? for him. Then there?d be hell to pay for me.?

?Right,? Jewell nodded slowly, gaze traversing back to the door. Maybe he would open it now. She wouldn?t want to miss it. He really wouldn?t forgive her then. A shudder ran over her frame. Maybe he already would never forgive her.

Iona stared at Jewell, growing concern on her face. She knew some of the worries regarding her health and had guessed at more, having been around the family for years now; she knew enough to know that all this worrying was certainly not healthy. She wrapped her arm around the younger woman?s shoulders. ?Come on up the stairs now, lovelie. If Amanda catches you at this, she?ll be givin? you hell too.?

That got an unsteady laugh out of Jewell as she allowed Iona to lead her up the stairs, suddenly finding that once she moved she couldn?t rely on her own strength to put one foot in front of the other. Jewell drew the line, though, when Iona tried to guide her to bed once upstairs. ?No no, I?m waiting up.?

?Now Jewell Ravenlock Kidd, you know better than everyone else that you need your rest!? Like a mother hen, Io pecked at her with her words.

Jewell?s cheeks flushed at this fresh reminder of her fight with Stephen; yes, she did need her rest and now he would know just how vital it really was. ?I?ll get my rest. I don?t need you tucking me into bed, though. Get ready to receive the kids, please? Take care of that and I will rest much easier.? To make a show of following orders, she was moving towards the king size bed, a hand resting gingerly on her stomach; it felt so heavy this evening.

?If you say so, dearie,? she watched the mistress of the house for a few moments. ?I?ll be goin? to turn down their beds and light fires in the rooms to keep their dear little hearts warm. If you be needing anything??

Jewell just nodded; she knew what to do. Only when Iona left did she change her course from their usually inviting bed?it looked cold and mocking now, as if she had really defiled it with the infidelity that Stephen accused her of in his fit of anger. A pathetic little sob echoed in the room, following the course of her thoughts. She stopped before the window of the room that faced the main lane through the trees up to their little sea-shore home; if she couldn?t wait before the door, at least she could watch for him here.

The hour hand ticked on by. She never even heard the children come home, hushed as they were by Iona and rewarded with snacks to take to bed for their good behavior. As the moon rose, her feet finally gave up their vigilance, forcing her to resign to the overstuffed chair that was set beside the large window; it served as the sweetest place to read a book on cold winter afternoons as she watched the comings and goings up the lane. Now, it lulled her into a false comfort as her eyes burned with the combination of lingering tears and strain as she stared into the growing dense darkness of a cloudy spring night.

Stephen found her there hours later, the waxing moon casting her skin with its usual ethereal glow, absent these days as the pregnancy took its toll, sleeping fitfully in the chair. He sighed heavily: he was still hurt over the secrets she had kept, worried that their fight had upset her already delicate balance, and marveling with concern that even at a almost six months pregnant, she could still curl up in her window chair as she was.

He left his jacket on a chair by the door, already covered by discarded clothes from the weeks past that no one had bothered to return to their proper place, and moved towards her. She stirred when he started to pick her up as gently as he could. ?Stephen?? She didn?t even open her eyes, just murmured his name sleepily.

?Aye murinin, sorry tae keep ye waitin? up.? Adjusting her feather-light weight in his arms, he started to move towards their bed. His heart constricted painfully at the way she instinctly curled against him, her cheek rubbing against the cloth of his shirt.

?I needed to tell you??

?Shh, tha? don?t matter right now, luv.?

?But??

He kissed the top of her head to quiet her, a reassurance that everything was okay for now. Setting her down on her side of the bed, he leaned over her to adjust her hair behind her ears; she hated it when an errant curl tickled her ears while she slept. ?You smell like whiskey,? her voice was low and dreamy.

?Tha? I do, luv.?

He exchanged his smoke-saturated clothes, a parting gift from time spent at the Keg, for something more fitting before climbing into bed besides her. A rebellious part of him wanted to keep his distance, to protect himself from any more lies, but he couldn?t resist letting his arm rest around her as they fell asleep.

The late, hot June sun filtered through the tree branches to warm her face. She could hear the children laughing nearby, coupled with the occasional splash and squeal as they played in the small pond and stream that ran near the house. Stephen had set her up on a settee beneath the shade of several trees?silently as was his way these days, insisting on carrying her like she was a porcelain doll?before departing for the day. Despite her protest at being treated so, she was bone weary. The heat sapped what little strength she could muster, and the cool of the shade was more than welcome. The setting was so relaxing, the sounds of domestic bliss soothing to her troubled mind, that no one could blame her for dozing off.

Droplets of water suddenly tickling her face?unexpected but not wholly unwelcome?roused her. She blinked rapidly, expecting the afternoon sun to assault her eyes only to find the shadow of a young body blocking out the light.

?Shouldn?t you be watching your siblings?? She somewhat groaned out as she shifted her weight, trying to find a more comfortable position to lie in than the one she had fallen asleep in. She waved away Amanda?s helping hands.

?Iona has them lying out on the grass, eating a snack,? she jerked her head to indicate behind her, sending another spray of water from her soaking dark curls to assault her mother, where the other six Ravenlock-Kidd children were sitting around in a circle, throwing grapes at each other.

?I see. So you?ve come to check on your poor, ailing mother?? Her tone was somewhat scathing; Jewell found it easy to be crabby these days despite, or in spite of, the fine weather.

Amanda shook her head, eyeing her mother seriously; ?Not quite.?

?Then what? You?re blocking my sun.?

The teen sighed, making a shoo?ing motion for her mother to move her legs as she perched herself on the edge of the settee. ?Pappa knows, doesn?t he??

Jewell had reluctantly moved her legs and now stared moodily out across the lawn, ?What makes you think that??

?Gee, I wonder. Maybe it?s the way you?ve both been so damn moody??

?Don?t say damn,? Jewell corrected without enthusiasm.

??or the way he?s been brooding about the house while watching your every move, waiting for you to fall apart.?

?You do the same thing, you know,? she idly pointed out.

?Or the way you go around wearing this sad little face all the time. Or how you two barely seem to talk now, especially about the baby, when a few weeks ago Pappa wouldn?t shut up about it.?

Jewell was really frowning now as her daughter served her these fresh reminders regarding the current state of her marriage. ?Anything else??

?Well,? Amanda turned suddenly bashful, ?it could be how he finally got the nerve to ask me about it this morning too.?

Jewell let silence reign a moment between them as she thought this over. ?What?d you say?? She tried to sound disinterested, but she suddenly had her little girl under her gaze.

Amanda unflinchingly met her mother?s eyes, but her cheeks turned red under such scrutiny. ?I didn?t tell him anything. I said?well, I told him we?d talk about it later.? Despite her threats to tell Stephen months before he found out the truth, when her loyalty to her mother had been suddenly tested, Amanda found she could not betray Jewell?s confidence.

?Why??

?Because I know how important it was for you that he didn?t find out.?

Jewell looked away again. ?You can tell him whatever you want, whatever he asks about. He already knows.?

They both fell silent, Amanda watching her mother and her mother staring out ahead of her at nothing. Amanda finally grew uncomfortable with the silence, shifting some. ?What happens now? Are you and pappa??

?I wish I knew.?

The heat of late July faded by mid-August bringing one of the coolest summer months on record. With the dying heat, Jewell felt suddenly invigorated. It was not such a trial to get out of bed every morning or to even eat the ridiculous amount of food piled on her plate each day in order to help her ?fatten up.? She always sent a withering stare at her daughter for such a comment, but now this was followed by eating every last pancake smothered in chocolate?she simply couldn?t get enough of it?instead of pushing her food around on the plate while everyone watched her.

Despite these displays of renewed energy, she was the only one feeling optimistic; her entire family remained cautious and watchful, restricting her freedom as much as had become custom. ?But I feel perfectly well. I doubt I would even get winded if we took a walk into town.? It was a not-so-subtle hint that she desperately wanted to get out of the house and off the property today.

?I?d nae like tae find out if ye would, love. It be cool enough in the ?ouse today, why not just rest,? he was guiding her with a hand on her lower back towards the couch she had vacated soon after being settled there with a nice book to keep her occupied for the afternoon. ?The windows be open for ye, an? there be a nice breeze.?

She pouted at him like a little kid as she sat back on the couch, hands coming to fold over her stomach. ?But everyone else gets to play outside,? with everyone else being the children.

?Aye, but they donnae get faint in the ?eat, now do they?? Her mouth scrunched over to one side and she looked away. ?An? before ye go objectin?, it is warm enough out today tae ?ave me worryin? about ye.? He leaned forward, kissing her on the forehead before turning to leave the room.

?Just where are you going?? Her tone spoke her continued displeasure despite the previous display of affection.

?I jus? be goin? down the road to check on somethin? at the Keg. Be back in less than an ?our, I swear it.?

She frowned, picking up the nearby book he had given her earlier before tossing it away without even a glance at its cover. ?If you?re going to keep me cooped up in the house, at least give me something pretty to look at or something interesting to do.?

?Aye, m?lady,? he replied smiling. ?I will do ye better by givin? ye both. The kids will pick ye wild flowers. Ye can arrange them as ye like and Amanda will set them up in the house when yer done??

She dug the toe of her slipper into the hardwood floor, ?I guess that doesn?t sound so bad.?

He took that as a yes and departed, sending the kids off to search for flowers before tending to his own business for the rest of the early afternoon.

Jewell only had to wait half an hour before Moradin and Eva Jade came marching inside, their shoes wet with the dew that still clung to the tall grasses of the nearby fields, Eva?s arms bursting with a variety of wild flowers. Their presence was a more than welcome distraction, her patience running thin even in the half hour she had spent alone, idle. ?Ah, my little green man and lady of the woods, how charming of you to bring me this present.?

Moradin grinned, stopping at the entrance of the room to bow to his mother, ?An offering to the Lady of Faerie.? Out of all the children, Moradin was the most intrigued by Faerie and his heritage. The stories Jewell could tell her eldest son enlivened his imagination and opened a whole new world in which the shy young man liked to spend his time within, wandering in daydreams.

?Tsk, son. Do not let the Queen hear you speak so.? She sat up more on the couch, trying to look the part of the Lady while grimacing at a sharp twinge her quick movements caused in her back.

?Where do you want them, mama?? Eva Jade looked around the room for a suitable place to set the flowers with those pure white eyes of hers.

?Mmm. Why don?t you set them on the low table here, that way I can reach them without moving too much and giving pappa a heart attack?? All three grinned at that; the tension in the house had not totally affected the younger children or even Moradin, who was wiser than the rest but feigned ignorance when it came to his mother?s health, but it had not fully escaped their notice either. ?Wait Eva,? as the girl moved to set the flowers down. ?Moradin, can you take that stack of papers over there?they?re old Gossip GangSTAR editions?and put them down first? I wouldn?t want to ruin the wood.?

Ever the dutiful son, Moradin scattered Marc Franco?s rag sheets all over the table in front of his mother before Eva Jade set the flowers down. ?Perfect, sweetlings. Now Eva, if you?ll just get me the scissors in the kitchen,? the girl already started for the other room as soon as her mother mentioned them, ?and don?t run with them! I?ll be all set.?

?Is this enough flowers for you, mamma??

?Absolutely, Moradin. This is probably enough to put a little vase in everyone?s room too.?

?Good. Then I think we may go play by the stream and pond then, if that?s okay.?

?Mmmhm,? Jewell nodded as Eva Jade returned with the scissors, handing them off carefully as she had been taught. ?Thanks darling. Run along and enjoy the sunshine now.?

Eva Jade needed no further prompting than that, dashing back out-of-doors with a ?whoop!? Moradin lingered a moment longer, ?Amanda said she?d come back in to set the flowers up for you in an hour or so.?

?All right.? She nodded, fingers already working at separating the different stems.

?If you need anything else??

She looked up at her eldest boy and smiled; she was always so proud of how considerate he was to others and how patient too. She always saw in him the best of both herself and Alex. ?I will let you know darling. You?ll be the first one I call.?

He gave her his shy smile before following Eva Jade outside in a less wild manner.

Amanda found her there only a few minutes later. She came barging up the stairs, shouting, after finding her mother?s place empty downstairs and some of the vases already set up. ?Maaa-ma! You better not be working. If you are, I?m gonna tell pappa the second he gets home and let him deal with you.? Having reached the top of the stairs, Amanda turned right, moving towards her own room to look for Jewell, completely missing her sprawled form in the hallway. ?Mamma?? She called again, not getting an answer as she poked her head into her room.

?Manda,? it was a small, breathless cry that spun her daughter around on her feet.

The teen ran for her, face going pale upon seeing the blood soaking into Eva Jade?s pristine white carpet. ?Mamma?no?? She had seen this before. Panic quickened her breathing to match her mother?s.

?I need the doct?or!? Jewell practically shouted and cried as another series of contractions squeezed her muscles painfully. When Amanda just stood stone still, staring, she did yell, ?Now!?

Her daughter was swift in motion after that, moving with a calm precision that would make Jewell proud were she given time to think on it; the pain and anxiety already clouded her thoughts.

Amanda practically flew out of the house, her feet not touching the ground at times as she defied both gravity and the speed of mere mortals. Nothing could stop her; she didn?t even spare the time to explain to Moradin, who could feel her worry and fear through their link, what was happening. She needed to get the doctor and then she needed to get back and be at her mother?s side. She was convinced that she was the only one that had the power to save her mother this time.

She met Stephen halfway down the main road leading into town. His rush towards the house was only exceeded by her own, his desire to reach his wife heightened when he saw his step-daughter speeding down the road towards him with such a grave expression on her face. Amanda spared only a moment to stop and command him: ?Mamma?you have to get to her?now! Me?doctor.? The exertion of running was not making her breathless but the fear freshly stirred in her certainly was.

Stephen had already known something was amiss, being able to sense his wife through their connection. His feelings of unease, which had started when he had reached the Keg earlier that day, had only increased over the last hour or so, coming to a culmination minutes before, which had sent him out the door of the pub. He simply clapped Amanda on her shoulder, sending her off again on her most important task that he would trust to few others, before he rushed onwards in the direction from whence she came.

Stephen paced before the open window of their bedroom, needing relief from the scent of Jewell?s blood that permeated the entire house by now; he could excuse this momentary inattention to her by claiming he was watching for the doctor. He stepped back to her side now and again to wipe her forehead down or to brush her hair off her sweaty face. It was all he could do and the futility of such actions in providing her relief was slowly driving him mad. He had seen this coming for months now. Why couldn?t he have done something to stop it? Why couldn?t he do anything now?

He tried to tell her stories, too, anything to keep her mind off of what was happening. He wasn?t even sure if she was listening, but it aided his own peace of mind for the time being. ?Then just as we were ?bout tae board them, the crew spotted a ship on the ?orizon, flyin? British colors ov all things. Wha? luck! An? we could nae jus? up an? run, ?avin? jus? immobilized the other ship.?

Jewell fell into a fitful sleep for a time and still Stephen kept talking: ?But when we got back tae the ship, we found the box were empty! I were shot in the arm, an? fer wha?? I spent the next year ?unting them down; maggots thinkin? they could outsmart me.?

As time went by, though, his agitation grew as the scent of blood needled at him slowly. Of all the weeks for Iona to go visit her relatives! He desperately needed to step outside to clear his head, but there was no one he could leave to attend to Jewell with Iona gone and Amanda still out. ?An? where be tha? damned doctor anyhow?? The pained moans of his wife as she shifted on the bed, her life slowly flowing out of her, certainly did not help improve his mood or patience. He had ceased speaking out loud to her some time ago; neither of them had been listening to what he had been saying anyways.

As the sun climbed across the sky, casting shadows upon Jewell?s face to give her an even more deathly pall, Stephen started to despair. He needed to do something! He just couldn?t stand there anymore. Banging his fist against the window frame, he turned abruptly and moved towards the bedroom door. If the doctor wasn?t going to come, he needed to take matters into his own hands; he needed to find someone who could help them. ?Don?t leave me,? his wife?s quiet plea stopped him in his tracks.

He turned back, moving to the side of the bed and lifting the water glass up to her lips for her, ?Nae luv, I weren?t goin? anywhere. I promise ye tha?.?

Finally, as he stood up to stretch by the window once more, Stephen saw the doctor as well as a nurse being pushed along by Amanda up the road. He could even hear her angry shouts for them to move faster from where he stood. He moved to Jewell?s side once again, mopping her forehead with a cool towel. ?The doctor be ?ere, love. Everythin? will be all right.? He couldn?t speak with much conviction.

The concoction worked quickly and Jewell found her senses reawakened with new pain, familiar and unwelcome, as she went into labor.

The doctor continually checked her blood pressure and pulse as the minutes ticked by. ?She?s losing strength quickly. I?m afraid she may even be going into shock. We need to try and keep her conscious for as long as possible here,? Doctor Axelrod explained to the nurse, perspiration dotting his brow as he knelt at the foot of the bed. ?It should only take a little while longer; she?s already dilated.?

Stephen had turned his back away some time ago from the scene being played out before him, unable to watch his wife?s struggle because he was unable to help her in any way. This was supposed to be a joyful occasion for them, but he found little reason to rejoice as his wife lay dying and his child was possibly already dead.

?All right,? the doctor nodded to the nurse, interrupting Stephen?s thoughts, ?it?s time.? He looked up over the sheet draped over Jewell?s legs, ?Jewell, we need to start this now. I?m going to need you to breathe and push. Breathe Jewell and push.? Her head lolled forward in imitation of a nod. She attempted to do the deep breathing techniques she and Amanda had been practicing for weeks now, but it felt like she couldn?t draw enough air into her lungs when she tried. ?Good, Jewell. Now push.? She groaned, trying to push everything?the baby, the pain, the blood, the memories?out before her breathy panting continued. They repeated the process again and again; each time her breathing became shallower after. ?Jewell, I need you to push for me again, only a few more times and it?ll be over.? Silence. ?Jewell?? No response. ?Captain Kidd, we need you.?

Stephen turned back around, coming quickly to Jewell?s side, his worry increasing at the way she was collapsed back against the pillows, eyes open but lackluster. ?Murinin??

?It?s almost over, but I?m afraid we?re losing her here. She needs to push.?

Stephen took Jewell?s hand, clasping it tightly as if he could will strength into her. Her skin felt clammy and cool to the touch, and there was little physical response from her save for a brief flexing of her fingers around his. ?Come on, luv, ye can do this.? He coached her as best as he could, ?Ye ?ave tae push now.?

?That?s a good girl.? Even though Jewell had done little to nothing in the end, the Doctor delivered the baby before cutting the umbilical cord and handing the child off to the nurse as he prepared to receive the placenta.

Stephen had become alarmed when Jewell?s eyes had suddenly closed, but he was distracted by the doctor and the baby he had just delivered. The room was very quiet. Why was the nurse rushing out of the room with the baby so quickly? The room so silent. Why did she take their little girl away? He barely even got to see her, to look at her. She had been covered in blood, so much blood. His wife?s blood. Her skin looked blue, too, just like Jewell?s hair. He craned his neck for a better look as the nurse left. Why did she leave so quickly? The silence echoed in his ears.

Suddenly, he felt Jewell?s hand slip lifelessly from his own, and he turned quickly to look at her in alarm. ?Jewell? Jewell!? He could barely feel her pulse, he for whom the sound of a pulse was akin to the music his wife heard in the fall of rain drops. Stephen looked to the doctor, ?Ye?ve got tae do somethin?, quick!?

?The bleeding is lessening now with the placenta out,? an event Stephen had apparently missed as his eyes trailed after the nurse, ?but she?s already lost so much.?

?There must be somethin? else ye can do, rather than watch me wife die before yer eyes, so do it.? Stephen growled out. Even without standing at his full height, he cut an intimidating figure. The red cast to his eyes?a result of the blood so thick in the air?did much to help intimidate the doctor.

?I do have this serum?they call it a volume expander. It is not at all certain to work?? he babbled on.

?Just do it!?

?Right. Yes. Right away.? Doctor Axelrod fiddled awkwardly with his medicine bag, rifling through. His motions were jerky and things continually slipped from his hands as he held them up to the light to ascertain what they were. Stephen turned away from the incompetence of the doctor to take his wife?s hands in both of his. They were so small and he held them so tightly that the Claddagh ring on left hand pressed into his skin.

?Here we are.? The doctor tapped the glass of the needle filled with a clear liquid. Stephen was forced to relinquish one of Jewell?s hands as the doctor straightened her arm out and prepared for the injection. ?Now this will hopefully enhance her own natural healing abilities; she is a rather quick healer, remember. Though how one can survive the loss of so much blood,? he muttered before remembering himself. ?Well, she is a strong healer, you must hope in that.?

The pirate grimaced as the needle pierced the delicate skin of the cradle of Jewell?s arm. His wife was hardly afraid of needles?having been poked, prodded, and slashed to pieces by much sharper objects?but seeing even the littlest harm come to her now stirred the well of emotions within him. Stephen found an outlet for unrighteous anger in the doctor. When he was done injecting Jewell with the liquid, Stephen became quite snappy seeing no immediate relief to his wife?s deathly pale visage. ?Now what??

The doctor cleared his throat, standing up straight and meeting Stephen?s menacing gaze. He was a learned man with more education than most in the city and he would not be so pushed around by a mere sailor! ?And now, Captain Kidd, you pray to whatever god you worship.? He turned and left the room then, intent on aiding the nurse to see if anything could be done for the babe; he rather doubted it. He left Stephen behind him, his head bowed over Jewell?s hand but not in prayer. Who would hear the prayers of one such as him?

?You bitch!? Jewell spit out the accusation in a strangled shout, her throat constricting with a sob. She leaned forward, arms wrapped about her torso in a self hug, hot tears streaming down her face; she could taste the salt of them in her mouth, as a few escaped past the barrier of her lips, when she let out another raw sob. ?How could you? How COULD you!? She cried uncontrollably, without censor, her body dry-heaving under such emotional duress.

?You needed to see??

Jewell cut her off, her face a livid red as she shouted threateningly, ?I never needed to see that! Ever!? Her crying filled the silence that echoed for minutes afterwards, the future Jewell watching her younger self with her head turned aside, features emotionless. Only when her crying quieted, tears spent, did the younger try to speak again, ?You knew what I would see? what I would feel, and you still??

?I did warn you,? her elder self reminded dispassionately.

?You warned me? You told me I wouldn?t like it! You didn?t tell me? you never said??

?I said I would show you??

?Show me!? she snorted derisively. ?Why couldn?t you just tell me,? Jewell wiped at her eyes with her bare arm, ?save me the pain of feeling that loss at least.?

?You needed to feel it.?

?Says who? You??

The elder Jewell just shrugged, looking away from the accusatory eyes. ?It was for the best, to help you make your decision.?

?But you already know what my decision is going to be, don?t you? You already know that after seeing that??

?Yes,? she cut her off, ?I know what your decision is.?

Jewell?s tone changed from accusatory to pleading for understanding, ?You know why I can?t choose that future, right? You understand, don?t you? I can?t go through that again, I just can?t! It doesn?t matter if our relationship survives, if we help each other heal?? she was babbling, grasping for reasonable words to justify the selfish course of action she was going to take. She needed someone to understand why she would give up everything, even Stephen, to avoid what she had just lived through. Her heart beat wildly within her chest, panic and anxiety taking hold; the very thought of that future paralyzed her with unspeakable fear.

?Your relationship may survive, but do you really think you will heal after that? We are only so strong, Jewell,? she met her past self?s eyes, her own looking haunted for a moment. She did understand. Maybe she had made this choice once too. She had been afraid too. And she was offering her justification, a way out.

Jewell looked away first, to the non-existent ground, ?Then it is settled then??

?If you have made your choice.? All she received was a nod for confirmation. ?Then it is settled. May the path you have chosen lead you to happiness.?

And just like that, Jewell was very much alone.