May 2014 RSC (RhyDin Standard Calendar)
Little Elfhame; Old Market District
RhyDin

Jewell had not even finished reading the letter before they were arguing: ?You are not coming with me and that is final.?

?I am not staying here.?

?Ishmerai,? she tried to be reasonable, ?I need you here. You know that.?

?No,? he shook his head firmly. Sapphire?s warning tale from last autumn was still too fresh in his mind. ?You need me at your side. If you are going to Faerie, then that is where I will be.?

She threw her grandmother?s letter down, ?But your presence is unnecessary! There is absolutely nothing to worry about. You said it yourself that my grandmother simply wants to meet with me. Nothing nefarious. You know this is her signature. She would not lie.?

?I would never doubt the honor of the Lady of Ta-Neer, but you well know that she is not who I am worried about. You may just be going to see your grandmother, but there are other powers at work there, Mira.? Her scowl, a minor acknowledgement that he was correct, encouraged him to pursue the issue, ?If Muirenn were to somehow learn of your visit beforehand, she could very well have some plan or scheme awaiting you.? The blue-haired, time and dimension traveling daughter of Jewell and Harris had stated very clearly that Muirenn was not just possibly waiting for Jewell. She was waiting. Ishmerai would not allow his lady to walk into a trap without him at her side.

?Well..? she turned away from him in her agitation, ?and who cares about Muirenn anyway? I will not let her stop me from visiting my family when I am needed.?

?I do not expect you to!? The knight argued carefully, unwilling to divulge what Sapphire had shared in confidence. If his lady knew for sure that some trap awaited her, who knew how reckless she may be; there was also the possibility that she would refuse to return to Faerie at all. ?I am merely asking you to use more discretion. I should not need to remind you??

?You don?t!? she snapped, glancing over her shoulder at him. ?Muirenn is a little snake, but she may have a tooth left in her yet. Yes yes. I know this. We?ve been over it many times, Merai. I will be entering Faerie with eyes wide open, I assure you.? Jewell turned towards him, more pleading than angry now, ?But you must understand why I need you here. My own safety is nothing. Let Muirenn do what she will. There is nothing she can take from me now except for the children. If you are not here to guard them.. if something were to happen..?

He sighed as she wrung her hands, ?Mira, we have taken every precaution against that. The wards. Spells. Everything we could think of and then some.?

?And I didn?t last time?? The sharpness of anger crept back into her voice, ?I did everything then, yet they still stole them from me.? The biggest failure of her life. Every day, when she stood in front of the portraits that hung on her wall, she asked the same question: How could you have let this happen? Never again. ?Whatever we have done? It is not good enough! The only way I won?t lose my mind with worry is if you are here with them, Ishmerai. You are the only one I have entrusted them to; you are the only one I know who will not fail me.? They would forever come to odds over this until her children were reunited with her or truly dead. Ishmerai may have pledged his loyalty and life in service to Jewell, but she saw the assurance of her own safety as secondary to the well-being of her children. This is what she asked of her knight: protect them even at the cost of my own life.

He would do anything for her, except that.

?Jewell..?

She cut him off less he attempt to change her mind and succeed, ?I don?t want to talk about it anymore right now.?

June 2014 RSC
Forest South of RhyDin City
RhyDin

?This would be much less laborious if we didn?t have to trek through the woods every single time,? Jewell batted aside a branch that strayed too close to her arm.

In the face of his lady?s impatient annoyance, Ishmerai remained the frustratingly calm voice of reason: ?We could have a portal opened elsewhere, but this is the easiest point of access at the moment for those who would like to remain undetected since this is where you originally crossed the veil. You know it would not do to open another point of entry and broadcast your current location to one and all. Although Lady Ta-Neer did not indicate that any special care be taken to conceal your visit to Faerie, I would prefer our point-of-origin remain a mystery for the time being.?

She sent Ishmerai a withering look for the double-hitter. Did he really need to bring up the fact that she had been the one to accidentally ground their first access point out in the woods? Also, he was the one that valued subterfuge more than she did. Even now as they continued on the path to a little clearing in the woods south of RhyDin, the scale like pattern that normally appeared here and there on Ishmerai?s body grew to cover all of his visible skin. The colors shifted as they moved under the trees, adopting the hues and saturation of the forest: greens, browns, and dappled gold from the rising sun. Normally, she loved to watch how he could fade away into the shadows, near invisible to untrained eyes. Now she just felt irritated, frustrated that he was with her at all. The branch she had pushed out of her way snapped back as she carelessly let it go, but the smack of it against Ishmerai?s chest brought little satisfaction.

?Come now, Mira.? The reasonable, deep tone of his voice called forward to her in an attempt to soothe her frayed nerves. ?Everything will be just fine.?

It was nice that Ishmerai did not take her ire personally. Who else but her knight would be so long-suffering as she misdirected her torrent of emotions against him? In truth, she was only slightly miffed by his presence. She really did want him to stay and protect the children, but it was also a comfort to have him at her side. Even on a routine visit to Faerie, something could go wrong. Seriously wrong. The last time she had visited there on her own, she had been trapped for several hundred years. It was unlikely to happen again, but having Ishmerai along for the journey was like a silent assurance that this time she would be allowed to come home. He had promised her she would get to come home.

The weight of his hand fell on her shoulder as they came to a stop in the clearing. ?Relax,? he reminded her softly. ?This is not like before.?

?Right.? She took a deep breath. When she had originally received the letter from her grandmother, it had seemed nothing was out of the ordinary; the old woman just wanted to see her. However, her wild imagination had since dreamed up any number of situations, enough to cause anxiety to well up inside her the closer the day came to leave. Spending the night running around New Haven with Kalamere had been a welcome distraction, but reality had set in upon returning home to the house in Little Elfhame. If sleep had been elusive, it was because her usual cast of nightmares lingered on the edges of her consciousness until the sun touched the eastern sky. Fingers brushed the sides of thighs, pushing against the hilts of the knives sheathed there, forcing the metal to dig into her skin. The brief pinch of pain brought clarity and a familiar calm, prodding her forward into the circle of stones arranged on the ground; Ishmerai?s hand still rested on her shoulder as he followed less than a step behind.

They came out together deep within the silver woods south of Ta-Neer territory, far enough away from both the watchtowers along the river and the Unseelie border. Rather than the increasingly bright light of dawn, the dark of night still rested on the land. It was the very same forest in which Jewell had first entered Faerie again, escorted by guards, in search of her children and vengeance if she could get them both. Then, the beauty of it had mesmerized her smoke and fire rattled brain. She was not quite in awe this time, but the tall gray trees with their green and silver leaves were still as impressive as always. There was something about the plants, trees and dirt underfoot--a life, awareness, or consciousness--that was unparalleled even in the magical realm of RhyDin. When the breeze whispered through the leaves, it called her name in greeting, welcoming her back to Faerie.

Rather than the formal guard that had escorted her (then a prisoner of the Ta-Neer family) ages ago, two Fae soldiers leaned casually against a grouping of nearby trees, apparently waiting for the pair to arrive or perhaps just enjoying some late-night conversation in the middle of nowhere. Upon exiting the portal, Ishmerai had drawn her closer: her back pressed against him, one of his arms snaking in front of her while his free hand slipped naturally into one of the tekagi-shuko at his side. But those green eyes were quick, even in the dark of night, and his hold on the lady relaxed enough for her to duck under his arm impatiently and step forward to greet their friends.

?Treasa, Warin, this is a pleasant surprise!? Although she often spoke of how alone she had felt in Faerie, such loneliness stemmed from her alienation from the gentry; they did not love the stranger in their midst who refused to play their games by their rules. Jealousy and contempt did not lend themselves to the development of meaningful relationships. However, she had earned both love and loyalty amongst the Fae, crushed underfoot as they often were by the cruel Sidhe. These two made up half of Lady Nerissa Ta-Neer?s personal guard. Treasa was somewhat akin to Ishmerai in looks: approaching six and a half feet tall with long dark hair and a scale-like pattern decorating her skin that shifted to cover her whole body when necessary. Unlike Ishmerai, Treasa had no need for any weapons; both her hands and feet ended in short claws that could expand and easily disembowel a person. Jewell knew because she had seen her do it. Warin was a little taller; his pale skin stood in contrast to both black hair and eyes, which some found unnerving but Jewell called ?warm? even when he flashed a toothy grin full of razor sharp teeth.

Warin stepped forward and bowed, ?Well met and welcome, friends! The Lady Ta-Neer thought you might need an escort through the lands as it has been some time since these Blessed Realms have been graced by Lady Kasimira Ta-Neer. We were honored with such a duty.?

The former heir laughed, ?First, Warin, as you can see, it is Jewell that stands before you now. We shall save Kasimira for another day, perhaps?? Both knights nodded. The cruel lady of death and destruction was a guise she had cast aside, but who knew what the future might require? ?Did my grandmother truly think an escort other than Ishmerai necessary? Has so much changed that I cannot find my way through these woods that I have walked many a time??

Treasa shook her head, ?No, M?lady. No one can argue that you know this land well after all the years you have spent aiding us in its protection. However, although some time has passed since your fall from grace,? Jewell?s heart twisted at the expression, ?Lady Muirenn still holds much enmity towards you. As we do not know whose loyalty your cousin has won over, Lady Ta-Neer thought it best that you have a discrete escort. We will cross the river with you openly, but unfortunately with less fanfare than befits your station.?

?See,? Ishmerai squeezed her shoulder.

?Yes, you are a tactical genius, Ishmerai, in addition to foretelling the future,? Jewell rolled her eyes. While exasperated with her own knight, she smiled genuinely at her two friends, Fae who loyally served her grandmother and had been at her side through several adventures. She did not want to think about Muirenn and her enmity. ?Shall we speak while we travel? I would like to see my grandmother as soon as possible and the way is not short.?

?The Lady Ta-Neer has also expressed a desire to see you expediently.? Warin put two fingers in his mouth and whistled. They stood in silence a moment before the sound of a whinny answered him. A black stallion, little bells braided through its shining mane, entered the clearing shortly thereafter, followed by the three others.

?Styyba!? Jewell cried, stepping forward to meet the mare, the horse?s warm nose nuzzling her cheek. ?Well met old friend.? She brushed her hand along her side. ?We shall ride together again today.?

While she greeted the horse, her three companions mounted their own animals. The three knights preferred to ride with a saddle, providing further place to stash arms, but Styyba remained free of any equipment as per Jewell?s preferences. Warin pulled up alongside her as she pulled herself up onto the horse?s back, the short dress riding up her legs enough that Warin got a good glance at the well-armed Faerie and laughed, ?See this, Treasa? Our Lady should not have worried at all! Jewell is quite as fierce as ever, I?m afraid.?

?Fiercer,? Jewell responded with a smirk, smoothing her skirt over her thighs and turning Styyba about to join the others.

?My heart is glad to hear it, my lady! Shall we let Treasa discuss whatever serious business our good Lord Ishmerai seems so troubled with while you regale me with tales of far-off places??

?A delightful plan!?

Despite the dark night draping the land, the group moved quickly through the woods; their horses were sure-footed and keen-eyed, finding the swiftest and easiest path through the underbrush. The traveling companions, even Ishmerai, were merry as they went along, their beautiful voices lifted in conversation and even a song from Jewell (with Warin?s accompaniment) when cajoled. There was little need to be cautious even this far south; neither the Unseelie nor bands of solitary Fae would trouble them, not with May Day having so recently passed and the Fair Court in favor for the time being. The four of them were also no strangers to these parts, having traveled together on more serious business through these woods and further afield once upon a time.

There was little to see, even with their superior night vision, but they did not lack for entertainment with the stories and news they shared between them: the goings-on in the Ta-Neer lands, Jewell?s somewhat cryptic description of life in RhyDin, Treasa?s run-in with an old flame not too long ago, and Warin?s story about how a badger had stolen his favorite war axe just the other day. They only superficially visited what the current heir of House Ta-Neer, Muirenn, had been up to since Jewell seemed little interested in hearing of it, except the part about the young lord vomiting on her during the Beltane celebration. Ishmerai resolved to simply find out more on his own. When dawn came, and the brilliant golden light could occasionally be seen setting fire to the tops of the distant Iolite Mountains, the group finally fell quiet for a time.

With the familiar ground they traveled came memories both pleasant and troubling for Jewell. Once, in the high passes of those distant mountains, she had almost lost her life. In part, that event and those that had followed brought her to these woods today: the attempt on her life, long months spent on Earth, and the discovery of her aunt?s treachery. Such thoughts of times long past now did not put her heart at ease, and she suddenly found herself weary of travel and longing for the site of the Sir?ne River and the bridges which crossed it. The sooner they reached the manor house, the sooner she could find out what her grandmother wanted and then be on her way. Jewell wanted to go back to RhyDin, back to pretending this whole world didn?t exist. She broke the companionable silence that had fallen upon her company to provide some further distraction: ?And how has my favorite Captain Strand been fairing? You did not mention him in all your tales of Port Sir?ne, Warin, and my heart is afraid that without my business, he and his men have suffered greatly.?

?The good Captain is actually in port at the moment and has been doing well enough for himself,? Treasa informed her. ?He recently added another ship to his growing armada,? Warin glanced sharply at his partner behind him, prompting her to add, ?but the captain has already sent her out on a goods run.?

Jewell failed to notice the look, her curiosity not aroused much to Warin?s relief. ?Perhaps Ishmerai and I will take a trip into Port Sir?ne if we find the time. I would very much like to see the captain.?

?We shall see, my lady.?

Jewell laughed, rolling her eyes at Warin. ?As you can see, Ishmerai has changed little in the time we have been gone. He is still trying desperately to rein in what he calls my ?wildness?.?

Treasa joined in her laughter, ?Do not be so hard on your poor knight, my lady. We all know you will have your own way regardless of what Ishmerai says.?

June 2014 RSC
Ta-Neer Manor House; Ta-Neer Lands
Faerie

Jewell had only sat with her grandmother for a few hours, but word moved quickly through the Ta-Neer house, and The Empress found herself face-to-face with her cousin Lorelei when she emerged from her grandmother?s sitting room. ?Lorelei! How is it that you are here?? She looked around quickly but found no sign of Ishmerai. Some knight! What if it had been Muirenn or one of her lackeys (although she had not ruled out that Lorelei was one of her Muirenn?s lackeys)? Or, Mother of Nature forbid, one of those awful beaux that waited, languishing, for her return! ?Certainly our Lady did not tell you of my coming??

Lorelei Ta-Neer pushed off the wall she had been leaning against for longer than she would dare admit. Like several members of the Ta-Neer family, she had ebony hair that cascaded down her back in perfectly arranged waves; pale skin and vibrant green eyes serving as a beautiful contrast. Unlike many in the Ta-Neer family, she was normally quiet and reserved. She quickly stepped across the hall and wrapped Jewell up in a hug. ?She did not, naughty old woman! Fortune blessed me: I heard a rumor that you crossed the great bridge this morning from one of the servants manning the baths, so I decided to snoop about until I found you.?

?Ahh? you have been staying here and not with your father??

She nodded as stepped back, freeing her cousin from her embrace, ?Muirenn prefers me here to wait on her.? There was no complaint in her voice. There never really was with Lorelei. She was always mild. Tempered.

?I see.? Unfortunately, the picture wasn?t very clear yet. ?I am surprised your father can spare you, what with Muirenn so busy as heir.?

Lorelei smiled calmly, ?My father has little use for me, as you know.? Her admission was without any bitterness. ?And he has Colwyn to keep him company.?

Jewell fought back a frown, unsure of what to make of this demure, dark haired woman. There was more to Lorelei Ta-Neer than one thought. In the political games of Faerie, filled with much louder characters, Lorelei often went overlooked, but Jewell did not wish to underestimate her now. Llyr Ta-Neer?s other daughter wanted her dead. What did this one want from her? There was a time she had considered the younger woman a friend. But when Muirenn had struck Jewell down, Lorelei had done nothing. When Jewell was brought before the High Court, Lorelei did not speak up in her favor. What was she to make of those inactions? Yet, she also remembered her first unexpected meeting with the seemingly gentle Lorelei Ta-Neer.

The wind was lashing the rain relentlessly the evening that Lorelei had stumbled upon Jewell, crouched in the corner of one of the many manor courtyards, crying. It had been shortly after Jewell?s arrival in Faerie, only days since she had learned the fate of her children, and her aunt had forced her to endure a tedious dinner with the whole family where she served as the brunt of joke after joke. Alone and lonelier than she had been in an age, Jewell had retreated to the shadowed corner of the courtyard, letting the rain mix with her tears as she momentarily vented her rage and sorrow.

She hadn?t even heard her cousin?s approach, only noticing her when the younger girl halted the fall of rain upon them both with a clumsy use of magic. Not all the Ta-Neers were true adepts at controlling water, but Lorelei was doing her best to keep both Jewell and herself dry as she crouched down beside her new-met cousin, wrapping an arm around her. ?Do not let them see you cry, Jewell,? she had whispered. ?Do not let them see this weakness. Once they find it, they will never stop exploiting it.?

She spoke as if she had experienced, and it was only later that Jewell wondered what her family had done to the girl to make her learn such a lesson. At the time, she was just grateful as the young Ta-Neer sheltered her and let her cry for a little while longer, her tears coming even faster for the momentary kindness she had just received form a relative stranger. When she was done, they both stood and went their separate ways, never speaking about the meeting to one another again.

Jewell looked her cousin closely now, confused as to whether an ally or foe stood before her. Her heart constricted in her chest. She didn?t need this now! Things had gone so well with her grandmother, better than she could have expected. Why was Lorelei here now? What hell did she wish to drag her back into? It was only with years of practice that she could ask not only calmly but pleasantly, ?And your sister? I am surprised you could find the time to come and greet me while attending to her needs.?

?Did grandmother not tell you?? Yes, their grandmother had told Jewell where Muirenn was, as had Warin and Treasa; Jewell wanted to hear it from her cousin. ?Muirenn is away. I am sure she will be very sorry to have missed you. She always took such a great interest in you, I?m sure you know, and now look at you!? Lorelei stepped back as she spoke with admiration, ?You look very well, my cousin.?

?I am well, pet.? She confirmed with a smile, making a quick decision; she had told herself she wanted nothing to do with Muirenn, her Uncle Llyr, or any of them! The current politics of the realm held no appeal. But her cousin?s appearance and manner could not be ignore. Just what was going on here? What danger was she in? ?Shall we have dinner together later this evening?? The sun was just setting over the marshes now, but most of her grandmother?s household kept late hours: dinner parties and dancing often carried on until dawn. ?There are a few things I must see to and I am absolutely dying for a bath, but I would love the pleasure of your company.?

?Unfortunately, I am engaged this evening for dinner with some young lord my father has sent here for me,? she stated rather unapologetically. ?You know he is ever trying to get rid of me; says it is the only way I will ever be of any use to him.?

Both women smiled at that, but Jewell didn?t fail to notice that Lorelei had not offered another time when the two of them could meet. Had she truly waited all this time, possibly hours, just to exchange a brief greeting and then move on? Perhaps she was there to simply confirm the rumors for her sister when she returned: Yes, Jewell Ta-Neer was alive and well. ?A shame,? Jewell replied politely. ?Perhaps another time I will be fortunate enough to meet with both you and dear Muirenn. You know, just to catch up.?

Lorelei remained calm and unreadable, much to Jewell?s internal frustration. ?Oh yes! That will be very nice. Just like old times again.? The Empress wondered which old times she was referring to. ?Until then though, I will be sure to tell my dear sister how well you looked.? Their eyes locked, grey and green, and for just a moment there was something more to Lorelei?s smile; something hard and akin to a warning. ?And do tell that darling Ishmerai of yours not to keep you away for too long now, all right??

?Yes?? she crafted a smile that was stronger than she felt, ?of course.? Kisses exchanged, Lorelei wandered off down the hall with Jewell?s eyes upon her. ?What game are you playing, Lori?? she asked herself quietly.

February 2015 RSC
Little Elfhame; Old Market District
RhyDin

?A letter from your grandmother, my lady.? Ishmerai dropped it in her lap as he took a seat next to her. ?Captain Strand sends his regards as well.?

Jewell?s smile was a bit strained as she set her book aside, taking up the sealed letter in its place. Her summer visit to the Lands had stilled some of her anxiety when receiving correspondence from her grandmother, but she still felt a sickening nervousness when staring at the Ta-Neer seal: the crossed arms over the river. It probably was just time for her to check-in with her grandmother again; show her that she was still alive and well. All the same, she didn?t open the letter. ?I am sorry I missed him,? she stated woodenly. She had been too busy orchestrating the change of staff at the Tower of Gulshan to oversee her latest shipment for Beyond the Veil.

?I sent him your fondest regards as always,? the knight reassured her.

She nodded, depositing the letter in Ishmerai?s lap as she stood. ?I need something to eat. You read it.?

He shook his head, breaking the seal as she retreated into the kitchen. ?Lain also wants to know why she has to stand around watching people unload a ship while you get to sleep in,? he called after her. The Faerie?s laughter drifted back to him, but she remained in the other room as if the distance could protect her from the contents of the letter. Ishmerai shook his head again before turning his attention to the correspondence, unfolding the paper and quickly perusing it.

Halfway through, he had to stop and begin again.

When Jewell returned with half a sandwich in hand, she found her knight pale and staring at nothing; the letter dangled from his fingertips. Panic welled up inside of her. ?Ishmerai, what has happened?? She stood rooted to the doorway, sandwich dropping carelessly from her hand to the floor. They both just left it there. ?Is it my grandmother? Is something amiss??

Ishmerai hesitated before slowly holding the letter out to her. She moved towards him, every step reluctant, but she did not reach out to take the letter. He didn?t seem to notice. Instead, he stated slowly: ?Berker and Jarom?r? they should be in port any day now.?

Jewell?s whole body went rigid. Berker and Jarom?r. If something had happened to their charge after all this time! No, surely her friends had not proved unfaithful in this matter of utmost importance. She licked her lips once then twice before she was able to get the needed words out, ?And the artist??

The knight thrust the letter at her again, forcing her to step forward and accept it, but the words blurred on the paper when she attempted to read it. ?The artist is with them, Mira.? He paused to try and let that sink in, but Jewell was clearly not understanding this new information. She was staring at him now rather than the paper in her hands, as if only he held the answers. ?Jewell,? he made sure she was listening before continuing, ?the artist will be in Port Sir?ne in a few days.? Her head shook back and forth as she grasped for understanding. ?Mira, she is ready to set your children free.?

February 2015
Ta-Neer Manor House; Ta-Neer Lands
Faerie

Jewell angrily tore through her large closet, a room filled with every fabric imaginable and some dreamed up by the Ta-Neer seamstresses: rich velvet, delicate lace, dew adorned spider silks, heavenly soft flower petals, stiff maple leaves, and exotic feathers. It was a collection worth drooling over, but the blue-haired Faerie pushed each piece out of her way roughly, blindly searching for something suitable to wear on what should technically be one of the greatest nights of her life. Everything had to be perfect!

?Mira.. Why are you so upset? I thought you would be happier about this day. We are doing the ceremony tonight, just as you wanted.?

?What?? Her hand curled around a flimsy silk thing in a dark blue that complimented both her hair and eyes, tragically wrinkling it. ?I am happy!? The din of real happiness and merriment?drifting into her apartments from some drunken revelry happening on the manor grounds?sounded in stark contrast to her anguished statement.

?Of course you are.? He was a wise man not to disagree, but he was concerned about his lady. Ever since they received the announcement of the artist?s imminent arrival, Jewell?s emotions had reached new highs and lows: she had raged against her grandmother for keeping the artist?s movements a secret from her; she had been elated at the prospect of hugging her children again, spending days making sure their rooms were ready, and finally allowing herself to believe that this was real; but then she had fallen sullenly quiet when he asked if she had shared the news and her happiness with anyone else.

She grabbed up a silly dress made of green feathers that she had worn to a masquerade years ago and threw it to the floor. ?Why did my grandmother want to put this off? What could she have possibly been thinking?? The attempt to direct her overflow of emotions onto the green dress and then her grandmother was unsuccessful.

?She had a valid concern, Mira.? The knight ventured to admit. ?It is rather late, and both you and Sanaa have had a long journey. Perhaps tomorrow would be better. Perhaps you would feel better than.? Her scowl silenced him.

?I feel fine!? she snapped at him. ?I have waited too long for this Ishmerai. I will not be delayed!?

He smiled thinly at her. ?No and no one is attempting to delay you now. We are doing just as you requested.? Demanded would have been a more appropriate word. The combined objections of Lady Nerissa Ta-Neer and Ishmerai had done little good to persuade Jewell to reason. She would not agree to wait until the following day to complete the ceremony despite the severe state of agitation she had worked herself up to since crossing over into Faerie.

Ishmerai would fight her no longer. ?Shall I send one of the ladies in to attend to you? I have my own preparations to make.?

?Do what you want.? She turned away from him, glaring at the line of dresses, the menagerie of fabrics unseen as tears came unbidden to her eyes.

February 2015
Ta-Neer Manor House; Ta-Neer Lands
Faerie

Two hours later, the blue-haired Faerie had managed to conquer her emotions once more before entering the small receiving room set aside for the ceremony. A long bath and the old routine of having her hair and decorative skin painting done for her had soothed her nerves. She had let reluctance wash away and clothed herself in joy in order that she could greet both Jarom?r and Berker with a smile. It had been years now since these two men had offered to stay in distant, far-off lands to guard Sanaa at all costs. ?You do not know the joy you have brought me, my friends! Truly. Words cannot express it.?

Berker lifted her right off the ground, squeezing until she thought her bones might break. ?My little lady, it is reassuring to see you looking so well. We heard rumors while away??

?Yes yes,? Jewell waved his concern away impatiently when he set her back down, eager to greet Jarom?r and (more importantly) the artist. ?I am fine, as you can see!? She certainly looked well in her Faerie finery; grey paint that matched the color of her eyes swirled and danced across her skin, peeking out here and there from beneath the airy, midnight fabric that draped her petite frame.

The knight just laughed heartily, stepping aside. ?I see what you are at, little lady. I will not stand in your way.?

Jarom?r stood with his arm around the artist?s shoulders, but when Jewell turned her attention on him, he let it fall and bowed formally to her. ?My lady, it is my pleasure to have fulfilled your wishes and the duty laid upon me. May I present to you, Sanaa.?

Sanaa stepped forward, and Jewell met her halfway to eagerly take her hand. ?I cannot even tell you what your presence here means for me today. I have been waiting?? emotion choked her words for a moment.

?I am happy to be of service to you, my lady!? Sanaa took Jewell?s pause as an opportunity to exclaim. ?I hope this day will prove to be the fulfillment of all you have hoped.?

Jewell squeezed the woman?s hand with both of hers before stepping away and looking around at the small gathering: Ishmerai, Berker, Jarom?r, Sanaa, and Lady Nerissa with Warin as her guard this evening. ?Are we ready to begin??

The general consensus was yes, so Sanaa took her place before the paintings that had been arranged along the right-hand wall at her command. The whole room had been set up according to Sanaa?s needs: mage lights half lit with incense smoke thick in the air, furthering diffusing the light. Everyone fell quiet as the artist began, chanting in a low voice to herself before approaching the first painting. She moved her hands slowly over the textured canvas once, twice, three times before than moving her hands away from the painting in a pulling gesture, the muscles straining in her arms as she attempted to literally draw the lives of Jewell?s two eldest children from their artistic prison.

Jewell held her breath. Sanaa grunted with the effort her practice required.

Nothing happened.

The artist?s body slumped, and she looked nervously over her shoulder at the blue haired lady before returning her attention to the paintings. She readjusted her stance, planted her bare feet firmly on the floor, and waved her hands in front of the painting depicting Amanda and Moradin again. She shifted once more into a drawing out motion, breathing heavily now as she strained. Again, nothing. She moved on to the next, attempting the same even as sweat beaded on her forehead.

?What is it? What?s wrong? What?s taking so long?? The friendliness of moments before had been replaced by a sharp tone as Jewell broke the reverent silence of the room.

?Mira?? Ishmerai shook his head at his lady?s impatience. However, he was beginning to feel uneasy about how the ceremony seemed to be progressing.

Sanaa turned around, wringing her hands. ?I am sorry my lady, I am trying but? There is no life here.?

?What?? Jewell asked sharply. ?What do you mean??

?I am trying,? the poor woman seemed close to tears, ?but I can draw no life from these paintings!?

?What do you mean? Could they have been damaged in the crossing? Maybe you?re just doing it wrong!?

?No my lady. I am very sorry but,? she hesitated, clearly seeing the rage building on Jewell?s face, ?but these are just regular paintings. No magic was done here.?

Jarom?r shifted his stance, discretely placing himself between Sanaa and Jewell. The former heir did not fail to notice the change, eyes narrowing. She pointed right at Jarom?r, once a favorite amongst her knights. ?If she has proven a faithless liar and pretender, Jarom?r, even you could not stop me!? Ishmerai?s hand was on her shoulder, trying to restrain her, but she shrugged him away impatiently. ?How dare you bring her to me before she was able to do this!?

Jarom?r?s expression darkened. ?Be careful with your threats, Lady. I was given charge of this woman, onto my death I was sworn to protect her. I will not prove faithless even if you have shown yourself to be fickle!?

?Fickle?? She screamed, easily moving out of Ishmerai?s reach towards Jarom?r, but Berker wisely stepped between them. ?She is keeping my children from me!?

?My friend, my lady.. please.? The large man spoke calmly, as he often did, but Jewell still sought for a way around him rather than try to take him on as well. He stepped aside to block her path each time. ?My lady, you must listen to reason,? he begged. ?Sanaa is not faithless! For years she has trained in her art to best accomplish what it is you need from her. Jarom?r and I, we have even seen her undo such works many times!?

?No,? Jewell shook her head, stepping back away from him suddenly. She did not want to listen to this.

He continued as if she had not interrupted him, trying to speak as kindly as he could with his poor, distraught little lady. ?If your children were truly trapped within those paintings,? he pointed to the portraits lined against the wall, ?then Sanaa would be able to free them. We would not have brought her to you if she could not.?

?No no no,? she continued to speak over him, unwilling to consider the conclusion he was trying to force upon her.

When Ishmerai?s hand fell on her shoulder, she did not shrug him away this time but rather flinched away from him and his words. ?Mira, the children are not here.?

Something snapped inside. She spun on her knight, ?No! They are supposed to be here! She swore they were here!? Everyone in the room knew the ?her? in question was not Sanaa. Only one person had organized the kidnapping of Jewell?s children, arranged to have them imprisoned in works of art, and then had killed the artist that had done the evil deed in her fury. ?Make her fix this!? Jewell pleaded with her knight. ?She promised me she could fix this.?

?No, Mira,? he spoke softly to her, as one breaking the news of the death of a loved one. Wasn?t that what he was doing? ?This is not something she can undo. You have seen it for yourself. The children are not here.?

That was not what she wanted to hear. She refused to hear it! ?Then where are they? Hmm?? She was practically shouting in his face now. ?WHERE ARE THEY??

Lady Nerissa remained composed where she sat on her raised dais. ?Who would know of this deed? Who can we summon here before us this evening to provide answers??

?No one, Lady Ta-Neer,? Jarom?r spoke up again, Sanaa clinging to his arm in her distress and exhaustion. ?Lady Jewell killed them all. Anyone involved. Anyone who had any knowledge of what was done. She hunted them down one by one years ago.? It had certainly seemed like a good idea at the time, but Jewell glared hotly at the knight for mentioning it now, as if this was her fault!

?There must be someone?? Nerissa began, suddenly impatient with her granddaughter?s efficiency. ?Conventina may be dead, but someone must know of her deeds. Warin, can you think of anyone??

?Muirenn.? Ishmerai interrupted before Warin could reply. ?Lady Muirenn might know.?

Jewell was seething by this point, clinging to her anger less she fall to pieces. ?Then bring me Muirenn. Now!?

Berker actually moved to seek out the current Ta-Neer heir when Lady Nerissa?s voice halted him, ?No!? Jewell spun to face her grandmother, but her jaw clenched tightly shut, unwilling to challenge her outright. Lady Ta-Neer was putting her foot down, ?I will not have this, Jewell! It is late and despite your birthright, Muirenn is heir. I will not have her disturbed in this manner, brought before you to be bullied like some lowborn criminal.?

?Then what will you have, my lady?? she asked as calmly as she could manage, fists clenched tightly at her sides.

?We will call the council to order first thing tomorrow morning.? The way she stated it brooked no argument. ?Now I suggest you get some rest.?

February 2015
Ta-Neer Manor House; Ta-Neer Lands
Faerie

?Thank you Sanaa for explaining that in such precise detail,? Lady Nerissa dismissed the artist from her spot at the foot of the dais with a nod. Jarom?r took her arm gently and escorted her out of the room as Nerissa turned her attention to those gathered in the council chamber. Seated at the table were each of her five children or their representative: Muirenn (for Conventina now passed), Llyr, Jewell (for Nereida now passed), Glaucus, and Dylan. Some of her grandchildren lingered around the periphery of the room, unwilling to miss the possibility of a showdown between Jewell and Muirenn. The only knights remaining after Jarom?r?s departure were Warin and Ishmerai, and the latter only because Jewell had absolutely insisted on his presence for her own personal protection. The outage had only lasted several minutes.

?Are there any questions?? Nerissa asked her family wearily.

Her eldest son Llyr stood up, his hand against his chest in a show of good-faith that he was not practicing magic, ?The young fae?s testimony was quite clear, but I am unsure dear mother what this all has to do with my dear Muirenn.? He looked down at his daughter who sat at his left hand. ?Truly you do not think Muirenn had anything to do with this nonsense!?

Anyone who was paying attention could see Jewell?s fingers tighten in their grip on the edge of the table. Nerissa could only imagine that she was thinking about wringing her uncle?s neck for calling the well-being of her children ?nonsense.? ?Lady Muirenn was intimately involved with Conventina, as you all know,? Lady Ta-Neer stated plainly. ?As such, she may be the only one with any knowledge of Conventina?s plans and actions.? Before her son could raise any further objections, Nerissa gestured for Muirenn to rise. ?My dear, please step forward.?

Muirenn, gorgeous in an emerald green dress and with her dark hair gathered low at the nape of her neck, stood and approached the foot of the dais willingly. ?My lady, I am eager to be of any help that I can! I yearn to serve my family to the best of my ability. But I must agree with my father: I know nothing about this matter! Our dear Lady Conventina, Mother Nature remember her kindly, did not share such information with me. Truly, I would have been horrified if she had.?

?Liar!? The long table shook as Jewell?s fist slammed into it as she stood, pointing her right hand at her cousin. ?You are a liar Muirenn Ta-Neer.?

?Jewell?? Nerissa started but was quickly cut off by her son, Llyr.

?How dare you, you little upstart!?

Muirenn was quick to come to her own defense as well, smiling triumphantly. ?Liar, am I? And what are you, you gutter rat? A murderess? I proclaim my innocence in this matter under oath as heir before all the family. What do you propose to do about it??

To Ishmerai?s relief, his lady retained her presence of mind in the face of Muirenn?s challenge: ?I demand a truthseer be called before us.? Muirenn?s confidence quickly fled her face, doubt taking its place.

?But?? Muirenn grasped for a way out. ?We have no truthseer in Ta-Neer!?

Jewell smirked, retaking her seat gracefully. ?Then we shall call one to us. There are several at the High Court as you know.?

Llyr and Muirenn exchanged a look before the former retook his seat as well, leaving his daughter to stand alone. Nerissa was no help, allowing her granddaughters to play out their little charade. The heir?s hesitant glance around the room told her there was no way out. Fine, she knew it might come to this. She promptly burst into tears. ?I swear, I tried to stop her! But Lady Conventina.. she threatened me. She threatened my sister?s life if I ever told!?

Jewell rolled her eyes at the theatrics, leaving her grandmother to question the now-sobbing Muirenn. ?Told what??

?That she hadn?t imprisoned Jewell?s children! She had killed them.?

Silence reigned for a moment. Jewell fell back into her chair as if physically struck by the truth, a sound of distress escaping her lips as if someone had struck a kitten. Dylan Ta-Neer, akin to Jewell in look and sitting at her left hand, bravely spoke up: ?And were you party to these crimes, my lady??

Muirenn resisted the urge to smile cruelly at Jewell before continuing her defense. ?Of course not, uncle! She only told me after. Many many years after in fact.? She had amazingly managed to compose herself at this point and seemed to almost be enjoying her confession now. ?I understand that it was Antipholus who did the deed,? she added thoughtfully. ?Slit their little throats and then had them buried outside in the maze garden. My dear aunt just had the paintings made to cover the whole thing up.?

?Why?? Jewell?s question was whispered, but her voice rang piercingly loud in the room where everyone held their breath, captivated by this crime.

?Why?? Muirenn repeated as if confused, as if the answer was so crystal clear. ?To make use of you, of course! How else would she have gotten you to do half the things you did for her if you didn?t think she was holding your little brats hostage?? Gaining confidence by the look of defeat on her cousin?s face, she just couldn?t resist adding on: ?You should just be happy that Antipholus didn?t torture them first,? she paused, tormenting her cousin with her words, ?at least as far as I know he didn?t. Of course, they might have even lived if it wasn?t for that eldest, half-bred mongrel of yours. What was her name again? Anne? She apparently put up quite the fight??

?You!?

Muirenn had just enough presence of mind to take a step back before Jewell was on her. Her blue haired cousin had vaulted over the table, nearly kicking their Uncle Dylan in the face (he had been smart enough to vacate his seat upon seeing the wrath of his niece), before descending upon her with all her rage. Jewell?s left hand clamped tightly around Muirenn?s throat, and she shoved the taller woman back into the ivy covered wall. In her moment of need, Jewell raised her right hand and energy flickered to life within it. Muirenn?s eyes went wide, her nails clawing at Jewell?s wrist to force her release. The roar of the room, her grandmother screaming, Ishmerai?s approach, it all meant nothing to her. Jewell?s magic had come to her in her need, released after all this time. She smiled at Muirenn, elated, before she lowered her hand to strike a death blow.

But just as soon as it had appeared, it was gone. The magic was truly sealed, untouchable. The flicker was merely a taunt, a ghostly shadow of what lay beyond her reach. Just like her children. Muirenn?s relief was palpable as Jewell released her suddenly, slumping backwards as if all the life had gone out of her with that flicker of mana. She was defeated. Then Ishmerai was there, pulling her away from her cousin, and her grandmother was shouting at them all. ?Ishmerai, get her out of here now! Never in all of my days--?

?I want her head!? Muirenn screeched when she finally found her voice, graveled by Jewell?s treatment of her throat. ?I want that little who--?

Before she could finish that word, Ishmerai had raised his own hand as if to strike the Ta-Neer heir himself! It was only Lady Nerissa Ta-Neer?s sharp voice which stopped him: ?Enough! If you touch her, knight, I will have your head.?

?Best to take it now, mother!? Llyr Ta-Neer piped up. ?How dare he even threaten to strike my daughter, your heir! The very thought of it!?

?I said ENOUGH!? Lady Nerissa shouted as she stood, effectively silencing the room. ?Ishmerai, remove Lady Jewell from this room immediately.?

?Yes my lady.? He bowed his head and turned to wrap his arm around Jewell?s shoulder.

The gesture stirred the previous comatose woman to sudden life again. The sting of her magic?s failure had subdued her, but as Ishmerai tried to guide her from the room, she sprung back to life and struggled against him. ?This isn?t over!? she shouted at Muirenn. With an urgent gesture from Lady Nerissa, Ishmerai tightened his hold on Jewell and started pulling her from the room. She thrashed in his arms, continuing to scream threats at her cousin: ?I will destroy you! I will destroy everyone you ever loved! And when I?m done I will tear you apart!? With some flailing and struggling, Jewell managed to momentarily break free from Ishmerai?s hold and charged at Muirenn again. ?I will flay you with my own nails from head to toe!? The knight swooped her completely off her feet when the swipe of her nails was within a hairsbreadth of the retreating Muirenn. The knight pulled her none-to-gently out the door so quickly she only had time to utter one more promise, ?I will never forget this!?

March 2015 RSC
Little Elfhame; Old Market District
RhyDin

?And that?s what I meant by being just a step or two away from her because apparently my kids still being alive is the only thing keeping me from going off the deep end, so really maybe I am just on the edge. I mean, for all I know maybe the kids really aren?t alive and the only thing stopping me from losing my head and killing everyone I know out of spite is this thin, fool?s hope that I can get my children back one day.?
Conversation between Jewell Ravenlock and Dr. Helen Bronner; February 2014

The woods south of RhyDin were not a particularly cheerful place at the start of March. Winter had robbed the trees of their leaves?save for a few that stubbornly clung to their branches, scratching and rattling in the wind?and left a crust covered mix of snow and slush on the ground to capture the feet of unwary travelers and make them stumble. Light rain sent curls of mist and fog to wrap around slick tree trunks, giving everything a sodden look under a dreary grey sky. Yet Jewell didn?t notice any of it, traipsing carelessly as if on a pleasant summer stroll to pick wildflowers.

The further she wandered from Faerie, the further she wandered into a reality of her own making. As her path transitioned from the dreary woods to slushy cobblestone streets, she filled her head with adventures in the dueling venues, exploits in Little Elfhame, what she was going to wear tomorrow, the way Kal?s eyes looked at night, Tara?s laughter, the new scarf Taneth had given her that made the water come alive again even if only for a moment, what pizza tasted like, how adorable Mason and Eva were, the trophy her team was going to win next year in IFL, how funny Jules had been when she was falling down drunk a few weeks ago, how fabulous Koy was going to make her look at Fashion Week... On and on and on! She made plans for this evening (maybe a bout of dueling or a trip to The Line) and for the rest of this week, next week, every week! As long as she filled her head with happy thoughts, there was no room for the obtrusive truth. There was no room for dead children, years of searching spent in vain, or the political manipulations that had entrapped her. There was neither room for the dirty deeds done to punish those who had wronged her nor for the punishment she had received in return to fit her crimes.

It was harder to play pretend when reality elbowed and shoved its way in little by little. The second she stepped inside the cavernous house in Little Elfhame?much too large for the two people that intended to live in it from now on?she was in trouble. Her bare feet sounded too loud on the tile floor, echoing in the emptiness. The door slammed shut behind her, pulled by a gust of cold air. There were no tiny little feet subsequently marching inside, following her into their new home to replace the one that had burned down. The vestibule closet stood half empty, hangers swinging as the breeze stirred them against each other. There were no little coats and jackets to put away as planned.

?Not good,? she shook her head numbly, forcing herself to go to the kitchen. She suddenly felt rather nauseous, her stomach tied in knots. A cup of peppermint tea would relieve that. Right. It would warm her up too. Good plan. A much better idea than going out tonight! She would just cuddle up on the couch with tea and a book; she could see her friends tomorrow.

Except when she opened the cabinet to get a mug, a line of newly purchased ones in different colors greeted her. Ishmerai had cautioned that it was a bad idea, but she just couldn?t resist. Blue for her and Amanda. Dark red for Moradin. Purple for Devyn and maroon for Kerrick. Turquoise for Eva Jade. Grey for Raven and black for Oz. The ceramic-ware rattled as she slammed the cabinet door shut. She curled her hands over the edge of the counter, trying to stop the trembling that suddenly afflicted them and taking deep breaths to make her head stop spinning.

Clearly she had been wrong. A bath would be much better than a cup of tea. She loved baths! She could even put some of those lavender bath salts in. A bath was just the thing. It would drive out the chill that had seeped right into her bones during her walk from the portal site. But if she was so chilled, why were her hands and feet now sweating? The soles of her feet felt so hot against the cold tile floor, and her fingers couldn?t find purchase on the countertop. ?Bath,? she said out loud, reminding herself of what she wanted to do, forcing it to the stay at the forefront of her mind and block out everything else.

It did little good. Her heart was pounding, breaths coming in quick, shallow gasps as she started up the stairs. Panic and anxiety overwhelmed her as she stumbled up the last two. When she got to the top, she glanced to the stairs that ascended to the third floor. ?Not that way,? she whispered to herself. That way was a floor of bedrooms set aside for children that no longer existed. Rooms painted with the help of Lain to suit each of their personalities and just waiting to be filled with books, toys, and clothes. Jewell had a plan. Once the children were back, she was going to take them shopping one-by-one. Each of them would have a whole day alone with her. They would go shopping, go out to lunch, and do whatever else they wanted. It was going to be perfect.

She turned her back on the entrance to the third floor, finding that she needed to keep her hand against the wall to help keep herself upright as she walked down the hall. Then she stopped again, rooted to doorway of her bedroom. Grey eyes were drawn to the closed door next to her closet that lead off into a little side room. It contained the portraits of her children, a reminder that they were still with her in some way. She could go in there and talk to them, pretend that they weren?t so very far away really. They were just out of reach for now, but one day they would be back. She was going to get them back. Until then, they were just sleeping. They weren?t gone. They weren?t dead. They were just dreaming. And she was going to get them back.

There was a scream stuck in her throat, choking her, as pain tightened her chest. ?This isn?t real,? she thought to herself, her head swimming. Her body was trembling, but no longer from the cold, as she lurched towards that damn door. She was going to open it up and the portraits were going to be there, lining the walls, just as they had stood in the gallery in the Ta-Neer manor house for the last two hundred years. They were going to be there, waiting for her. Yes, they were still waiting for her to set them free.

Her fingers felt numb as she forced them around the doorknob and twisted it, throwing open the door. A brief sense of elation and relief filled her before the mage lights kicked on and dimly illuminated the room.

It was empty.

?No no no no no.? She shook her head, backing away from the empty room. The reality of it was too much. It was all too much. Hearing from her cousin?s lips the final confirmation that they were dead had not been as real as the blank walls staring back at her, accusingly empty.

?You failed,? the blank walls said.

?You didn?t save us.?

?You were supposed to bring us home.?

?Failure.?

?Useless.?

?Worthless.?

?Guilty guilty guilty!?

It was just too much. Jewell moved for her vanity, practically falling over her own two feet now. They felt like lead, and the feeling was creeping up through her limbs to settle inside her. Soon she would turn to lead. A cold, lifeless hunk of metal. It was already building in her chest, making breathing difficult. She leaned heavily against the vanity, scattering a hair comb and bracelets to the floor in her suddenly desperate search. She needed to make it stop: the constricting of her heart, the twisting in her stomach, the noise in her head. Clumsy fingers finally landed on what she sought, a small true silver knife mixed in amongst the necklaces knotted together in a giant heap.

Ishmerai had been right to be concerned. Jewell couldn?t be trusted on her own. Over and over in her head, she heard Muirenn?s words: ?She had them killed. She had them killed. SHE HAD THE KILLED!? The grief was overwhelming, driving her into an hysterical panic without even the slightest hope to cling to now. In an act of self-preservation learned years ago, she slammed her left arm flat onto the surface of the vanity and drew the knife across the top of it.

Jewell paused to enjoy the slight sting before she did it again, letting droplets of red, sweet smelling blood fall to the floor as she pulled the knife away.

It took a third run of that blade against her injured arm before the endorphins flooded her system, bringing with them a sense of relief as she watched the blood trickle down from her fingers and paint a pretty strand of pearls sitting atop the vanity. The sweet release of tears remained elusive for now, so she would bleed instead. Two more triple-sliced cuts and the panicky, shallow breathing subsided, bringing down her heart rate as she focused on the physical pain burning her arm instead of the emotional pain tearing her to pieces inside. Jewell Ravenlock knew what to do with physical pain. A fourth series of cuts and she slowly settled to the floor, comforted.

March 2015 RSC
Diggy?s Diner; Dragon?s Gate District
RhyDin

?Aemi,? the nasally teen boy working the counter at Diggy?s Diner shrilled at his co-worker, ?you can?t go to the WestEnd tonight! Didn?t you hear about the recent murders there??

The electric, fluorescent lights of the small eatery flickered once then twice as a wave of magic rolled over the area, momentarily disrupting the technology. Jewell didn?t notice. At the word ?murder? her whole body went rigid, eyes locked onto the smooth, brown liquid in her mug.

The young man continued, oblivious to the effect he was having on the customer at the counter. ?One girl was even bled to death. Every last drop sucked out of her by some monster!?

Jewell did not hear any more of the conversation. She stood up abruptly, upsetting some of her hot chocolate onto the counter, and choked out one question to the young people: ?Bathroom?? The young man looked at The Empress with annoyance, and with a roll of his eyes, he pointed at the far end of the counter; a little sign hung on the wall with the word ?restroom? and an arrow.

She nodded gratefully to the young man, who simply turned back to his pretty co-worker even as Jewell stumbled and almost fell over a nearby stool in her attempt to reach the restroom, shoving the offending furniture out of her way. Now both of the workers were staring at her, but she didn?t notice anymore. Her heartbeat was a roar in her ears, blocking out all else. Jewell reached the narrow restroom door and slammed it shut behind her, leaning forward on the chipped and dirty porcelain sink, and breathing heavily. Half the light above the sink was blown out and the other flickered badly, casting shadows across her face as she looked up from the calcium and grime covered sink drain and into the mirror.

A spider web of fractures made her reflection look distorted and ghastly. Fractured. Broken.

Jewell was still deeply mired in the depths of denial, but reality kept intruding upon the glamoured illusion she had cast. Reality kept making her remember.

The young man in the diner spoke of murder and blood.

And Jewell remembered death.

Issy told her, ?I'm so proud of you,? before kissing her cheek.

And she remembered acutely how she had failed.

Tara spoke to her quietly, ?Okay maybe yer brainpan isn't inhabitated by some alien but you know, I know when yer not yerself an' yer not yerself tonight.?

And she remembered how and why she had lost herself.

There was a fire in Old Market.

And she remembered the first fire and all that it had cost her.

When she tried to happily chatter about Fashion Week, reality had been there in the form of Tara crying to her, ?The last time I went to Koy's Fashion Week event, where she honored you, I wore a blue dress in honor of you an' you WERE DEAD!?

And she remembered why she had died and the children who had been stolen from their beds that night.

Even when she should have been at the height of happiness with the opening of I?Yulna at the Fashion Week kickoff event, Matt was there holding little Thia?s hand and carrying baby Malachite.

And she remembered the little arms that used to grasp around her neck and sloppy, baby kisses on her cheek.

Then Mason called her out so clearly: ?Bullshit, Jewell. You don't have to tell us but give us the respect not to lie.? Cute guy Jon pin-pointed the problem easily as well with his sweet smile, "Hey, if you don't want to talk about it, I can act like I'm not interested in it. We'll both be lying then." And Tara had yelled and grumbled at her, ?YER A LIAR!?

And she remembered the seven very good reasons why she had to lie to everyone else and herself.

The children were dead. The children were dead. The children were dead!

?No no no!? Jewell curled her fingers into the hair at her temple, pressing them painfully into her skull. She needed to squeeze the memories out, to keep them away, to keep them from hurting her because mother of nature, they all hurt so bad!

March 2015 RSC
The Continental; Dockside District
RhyDin

Jewell?s palm slammed into the man?s temple as his lips sought hers. He stumbled back a step, cursing at her. ?I told you,? she followed him without hesitation, a snapkick to his stomach driving him back against the opposite wall of the alley, the situation suddenly reversed from moments ago, ?leave me alone!?

He held his hands up, attempting to pacify her now that she had proved to have a little bit too much fight in her; those were not the kind of women he usually preyed upon when he visited The Continental, one of RhyDin?s countless dive bars. ?Look, I?m sorry, I was just??

Her fist connected with his mouth, her knuckles cutting open on his teeth as his head snapped back. Anger?so quick to come to her these days?easily diffused the effects of the alcohol flooding her system. The wrong word, gesture, look, and she could feel the fury bubbling up near the surface, demanding to be let out. She had been trying so hard to contain it, burning it off in the fight club rings when necessary, but she let it out now on this man.

Each blow was well-practiced, well-delivered, well-intended to cause the most crippling pain. Ishmerai?s voice whispered the name of each pressure point to hit: the ulnar and radial nerves; then the peroneal and femoral nerves; and don?t forget the jugular notch and brachial. She attacked each, her fists, elbows, and knees all at her disposal, a ferocity she didn?t normally display in the rings of the Outback the driving force behind each attack. These points could serve as the centers of healing, but with the right amount of violent application of force, they could leave a grown man whimpering on the cobblestone ground of some dirty alley in RhyDin.

Even when he was down, attempting to hold his arms up to try and protect his face, the Faerie was relentless. The heavy beat of the house music coming from the nearby club blocked out his pathetic pleas. In a morbid reverse of what he had probably wished for earlier, The Empress straddled him as she drove her fists, red with a mix of their blood, into his face over and over and over again.

Only when his neck snapped back, causing his head to bounce off the brick wall in a way that skulls were not meant to bounce, did she halt the onslaught. Her chest heaved with each breath as she got to her feet and stumbled away from his now prone body. A euphoric, hysterical peal of laughter escaped her lips at seeing him that way, at seeing the destructive, delightful work of her hands. Oh how good it felt to purge herself of even an ounce of anger!

The sudden high did not last long, her laughter tapering off into a stream of profanity: ? Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit .?

This is what she had been afraid of all along. Since she had stepped back into RhyDin, the precipice of despair had continually widened to her right, but to the left was a chasm of anger. How much more tempting that way seemed as it called her name in a sweet cadence! But who else would suffer if she chose that path? The Empress certainly didn?t care about the man lying dead to the world at her feet, but what about her friends? The little family she had left? Would they be sacrifices to her grief fueled her rage? It wasn?t worth the risk. She would have to be more careful from now on.

Right now though, she had to deal with this mess. ?Come on, focus,? she commanded herself. It took a few deep, steadying breaths before she could get to work. Bending over, she grabbed the man?s wallet from his pocket. She removed all the money from it before tossing the cheap, faux-leather accessory further down the alley. She hastily wiped the blood off her hands and onto her dress; that was easy enough to glamour after all. Then it was time to go find the nearest member of The Watch; it seemed like a robber was on the loose in the area and she was quite shaken up over what they had done to some poor man in the alley behind The Continental!

After that, she thought it might be time for another drink.

April 2015
Adam?s Fight Club; Dockside District
RhyDin

Tonight, Jewell was fighting at Adam?s in Dockside. Some nights she won and walked away with prize money, which usually ended up in the lap of the first homeless person she passed, but not tonight. The chain links of the ring fence bit into her back as her opponent wailed on her arms. They were up protecting her face from any further damage (two black eyes was probably enough), and with each blow, she could feel the cuts hidden beneath her glamour break open, the blood running freely off her elbows.

But she still wanted her opponent to hit her harder. She wanted him to hit her so hard, she couldn?t hear the words in her head anymore: ?You still care about us, and they'll still go after us.? Eva was right. Two hundred years in Faerie couldn?t make her stop caring, and no matter what she did, all the people she loved were still vulnerable. Tears of frustration stung her bruised and bleeding face as she curled sideways under the onslaught of a particularly strong attack, readying herself for the knock-out. It would be so welcome. So blissfully quiet.

It never came.

Lowering her arms, Jewell sighed. ?Oh shit .?

Ishmerai stood in the ring opposite her. Her original opponent was laid out at his feet. ?This fight is over,? he growled.

The pit master pushed through the booing crowd, throwing open the gate but daring to go no further. He was not a brave man, and the fae knight looked very angry. ?Hey! We?ve got rules around here for fights. No intervening!?

The knight didn?t seem to hear the man. He grabbed his sulking lady roughly by the upper arm, ignoring her cry of pain, and dragged her out of the ring. He paused at the gate, tossing a wad of money at the man?s feet. ?For your troubles.?

The crowd parted for the glowering knight and lady. Ishmerai tuned out Jewell?s protest and pleas until they were outside of the club. Then he pushed her away from him. She caught herself on the slimy, brick wall of the club, falling into an uncomfortable lean; it was the only thing keeping her on her feet. Picking at a loose string on her dress sleeve, avoiding his gaze, Jewell greeted her knight for the first time in two months, ?You know they?re never gonna let me fight here again now.? It didn?t really matter: she had created a circuit of the fight clubs in RhyDin. She would find another.

He pointed a finger accusingly at her. ?You were supposed to go to Lady Rynieyn?s, Mira! Or to Eva and Mason?s. Lady Isuelt?s! Or even Lord Ar?Din?s. Somewhere.?

She looked away from him, rolling up her sleeve to examine her arm. ?You bruised me,? she observed stoically. It was actually impossible to tell.

?Mira,? he growled.

Jewell sighed, letting her sleeve fall back down. ?I tried, all right? I went to Taneth?s for a while but?? she squeezed her eyes shut tight, breathing in sharply through her nose.

?But what?? He was not interested in her excuses tonight.

She opened her eyes to glare at him. His impatience threw a wall up between them. He didn?t deserve to know about Taneth. ?But it just got too difficult, okay??

He stared at her, hard. ?Show me what you have done to yourself.? She looked up, down, to the side, anywhere but at him. ?Jewell, drop your glamour and show me!?

?No!? She narrowed her eyes at him. ?You had a job to do. Did you do it??

Ishmerai sighed, ?It is not that simple. There are still tasks that I need to see to.?

?Then what the hell are you doing here, Ishmerai? Hmm? Your lady gave you a job to do, so get your ass back to Faerie and do it!?

He took a deep breath. ?It is not that simple. I have been following every lead, but you have not made it easy since they all result in dead ends.?

?Oh, so now this is all my fault??

?That is not what I said!?

?How about you stop blaming me and just do your fucking job. Do your job, Merai! Find my children.?

?Your children are dead, Jewell! They are DEAD.? She shrunk back away from him at that, but he did not relent. ?There is no finding them. Not now. Not ever! I am trying to do my job by coming back here to make sure you do not end up dead as well.?

She simply stared at him a moment, blankly, before turning away and trying to slip past him. It wasn?t difficult; she had become so thin she was almost a ghost herself at this point. ?I?m going home.?

?Mira..? he instantly regretted yelling at her.

?Go home, Ishmerai,? she called wearily over her shoulder at him. ?Go back to Faerie. Your lady is already gone.?

April 2015 RSC
Little Elfhame; Old Market District
RhyDin

The tequila bottle was passed back and forth between them every now and then, empty burrito wrappers already discarded off to the side. Jewell had taken a particularly long pull of their drink of choice after seeing the look on Ishmerai?s face when she finally dropped her glamour and showed him what she had done to herself. He looked so sad. His anger she could handle but not that sadness. She had enough of that on her own.

?I think you know that pushing everyone away will not work this time, Mira. That it is already not working.? He spoke with her calmly now as they sat on the patio, backs pressed against the house and legs stretched out on the ground in front of them. It was easier to watch the boats pass by on the river than to look at her and see how he had failed her.

She huffed, ?You sound just like Eva.?

He smiled faintly. ?Your doctor friend is a wise woman. What did she say?? He held his hand out for the bottle of tequila, plucking a slice of lime from the plate sitting between them. It had been difficult to find anything salvageable in the kitchen since Jewell had destroyed everything, but the little plate full of limes had escaped somehow.

Jewell handed off the bottle as she leaned her head carefully back against the wall, tilting it upwards as she tried to think of the exact wording: ?Something about needing to pull my friends and family closer to ?make an unbreakable force? of myself so I don?t fall again.?

?Very wise.?

?But it?s not wise, Ishmerai!? she snapped her head aside to look at him, black, blue, purple, and yellow skin making her look sickly at best. ?Don?t you see?? Her anger was spent. All she had left was weary pleading. ?I can?t put anyone in a position where they?ll get hurt, where someone will hurt them to hurt me. I just can?t. I already failed the children. I can?t do that to anyone else.?

?Jewell,? he waited to make sure he had her attention, ?it does not work that way. It will never work that way. Simply pushing people away so they cannot be used against you does not work. You tried it before, correct?? He waited but she refused to even give a nod of agreement. Time for a different tactic: ?Why did you go to Faerie by yourself originally??

?To get my children back,? she replied bitterly.

?Yes. But why did you go alone? Why did you not seek help? Why did you not gather your friends for support? Why did you leave Stephen behind when he offered to come with you??

She took a deep breath in and out through her nose before answering reluctantly. ?Because I didn?t want anyone to get hurt.?

?Right. You pushed everyone away. You let them all believe you were dead. All for what? To protect them?? She nodded. ?Did it work??

?No,? her brow furrowed deeply, ?because they still used them against me and hurt them anyway.?

?Exactly!? He sat up, bottle of tequila forgotten at his side. ?You must see it, Mira! It is time for a different strategy. You cannot make yourself indifferent towards your loved ones, so they can always be used against you. Why not draw your friends closer to you instead? Let them support you. Let them help you. Let me help you.?

Her fingers curled in frustration. ?But I feel so vulnerable! They make me vulnerable. You make me vulnerable!?

?You are vulnerable, Jewell. You are probably as vulnerable now as you will ever be. Do not make it worse than it has to be by pushing everyone away.?

April 2015 RSC
The Rock; WestEnd
RhyDin

On a night when Harris stated with a yawn that ?Death comes for everyone? and Jet talked about loving ?the ones drowned in their own blood? best and Lirssa pecked an innocent kiss to her cheek that made her suddenly miss all the kisses she wouldn?t get from her own daughters, Jewell?s options were limited: either get smashed or get smashed in the face. To Ishmerai?s dismay and consternation, she went for the latter. Nothing quite cured heartache like an ear-ringing blow to the head. Or five.

?Mira,? he sighed out as he assisted her in leaving the club, an arm loosely around her waist to prevent her from falling as she pressed a bloody rag to her broken lip.

She swayed dangerously to one side before stumbling back the other way into Ishmerai. He was a rock, unmovable, so Jewell leaned against him. It was so much easier than supporting herself right now.

?Mira,? he tried again as he half carried her down the dark streets of the WestEnd. ?I cannot keep watching you do this to yourself.?

?Yeah yeah,? she tried to wave his objection away, her gold bangles jangling as she struck at the air.

?No Mira. You misunderstand me.? She almost fell when he removed the safety of his arm from around her. He wouldn?t really let her fall. Instead, he watched carefully as she righted herself slowly, gold high heels wobbling on the cobblestones. ?I will not continue to watch you do this to yourself.?

Jewell laughed, drunk on adrenaline. ?What do you mean? What are you going to do? Just walk away and leave me here??

?Yes.?

Stunned, she stared at him blankly. ?What? No.? She shook her head. ?No, you?re joking.?

?I am not. I have stood with you through many things, my lady, many many things. But I will not stand with you while you kill yourself.?

?I?m not trying to kill myself! And it?s not that bad!? she spouted out denials quickly as she tried to understand what he was saying to her. ?I?m not.. it?s not..? she stopped as a wave of null-magic rolled over the area. It stripped the glamour from her, leaving her momentarily exposed before him in all her self-destructive glory. The bruises, the cuts. Just as quick as it had gone, the magic was back, bringing with it her affected perfection. But how could she stand there now and tell him it was not that bad? Tears formed in her eyes and her chest started to heave. ?You can?t? you can?t leave me!? Such a reverse of days ago when she had ordered him back to Faerie.

?And you cannot ask me to stay and watch you do this to yourself time and again! I will not do it, Mira. I will not.?

?What,? she rubbed at her eyes angrily, furious at her own tears. At him! ?What do you want from me? I?m trying!?

?You are not trying hard enough!? The knight clenched his fists. ?Do you know what it is like? Do you understand what it feels like to stand here and watch you do this to yourself? To watch you in this much pain?? She stayed stonily silent at his accusations, his questions. ?To watch you slowly kill yourself? If you want to die, Mira, do everyone who loves you a favor and just get it over with and let us move on. But do not agonize us like this!?

?Ishmerai??

May 2015 RSC
Little Elfhame; Old Market District
RhyDin

The Empress hummed as she strolled down the streets of Little Elhame. Life wasn?t so very bad. The sun was shining. She had a steaming hot coffee in her hands (she had to actually keep switching hands because it was so hot) to chase off the early morning chill. Her neighborhood was abuzz with activity as everyone was still cleaning up after Friday night?s festivities. She had not only survived Beltane but enjoyed herself immensely. She had also survived her first Mother?s Day since losing the children (with only a slight meltdown at Lirssa?s kindness). She just had to take life one day at a time and everything would eventually be fine!

Suddenly, she paused not far from the house. As part of her arrangement with Ishmerai, she had taken up running again. Since she couldn?t sleep much anymore, it seemed like a good idea. It got the endorphins pumping through her veins, cleared her head, and kept some of the crazy at bay. However, the lingering effects from her run drained away, replaced by knots in her stomach and a tight feeling in her chest as she stared at one of the posters on the wall of Nephila?s seamstress shop: seven smiling children.

She strayed closer to the poster, tilting her sunglasses down to read it.

Are you a child who can sing and dance? Do you have a child who can sing and dance? Would you like to make the hills come alive with The Sound of Music?

The Shanachie needs you!

Her mouth was quickly filling with saliva, a companion to that sick feeling in her empty stomach. She wasn?t sure when she had dropped her coffee, but the cup was crushed underfoot as she stepped even closer to the wall, so close that the picture began to blur. It was easy to see different children then. Her children. Seven children gone, their throats all slit. Seven children smiling, staring at her.

With a cry of frustration, Jewell tore at the poster, pulling it down off the wall. She ripped it in two before balling the pieces up and throwing it to the ground in the puddle that was once her coffee.

One step forward and two steps back.

((Just a note: I LOVE the Shanachie theater and all of their amazing, interactive, events))

May 2015 RSC
Little Elfhame; Old Market District
RhyDin

Jewell sat on the roof of what would one day be The Empress, the hottest boutique hotel in RhyDin. Or maybe she would name it The House of Summer. She wasn?t really sure yet. It didn?t really matter.

She poured another glass of whatever it was she was drinking, turning the bottle over in her hands to see exactly what it was. Whiskey. Distilled beyond the veil and sold at Beyond the Veil. Only the best for The Empress, especially when Ishmerai wasn?t watching. Actually, Jewell wasn?t sure that he wasn?t watching. She didn?t care. He was still being a royal pain in her ass and not speaking to her. Whatever!

Setting her glass aside, she leaned back on her elbows and gazed star-wards. It was better than the piles of books and scrolls she had been looking at all day. Since her conversation with Kal last week, she had moved from library to library across the city, a woman on a mission: Could she find Sapphire? The answer seemed to be a definite maybe. With that decided, the question became, ?How?? But the longer she searched for the answer, the more she realized that finding Sapphire was probably not the solution it originally seemed to be.

It wasn?t that seeing Sapphire again wouldn?t be fantastic. It might even give her some of the closure she needed, as Kal had suggested. The problem was that what she really wanted was her children. Jewell knew she couldn?t get them back--that was far far beyond even her greatest abilities--but she would settle for clear memories of them. It had been so long. So sooo long. Little by little, she had let time chip away at the memories she had once held dear. What did Amanda look like when she was plotting something? What was Moradin?s favorite book? How did Devyn like her eggs cooked? What did Kerrick?s smile look like? Did Eva Jade laugh like Cher?

She couldn?t remember. Every day she had spent in Faerie, she had lost a little bit more of them. Now they were truly gone, and the little bits and pieces she had managed to hold on to were spilling through her fingers. The air wooshed out of her in a sigh as she let her head fall back to gently rest against the rough, dirty roof. Her eyes were just about to flutter close when a bright light cut its way across the sky. She pushed herself back up onto her elbows, tracing its path. Then, because she couldn?t resist, she closed her eyes to make a single wish.

She couldn?t get her children back, but what was the harm in asking? ?Bring my children back to me. Bring my girl back to me.?

Jewell opened her eyes. Nothing.

?Hah!? She shook her head, grabbed up her glass of whiskey, and drained it in a single breath. ?Figures.?

The first dream came to her that night.

May 2015 RSC
Little Elfhame; Old Market District
RhyDin

It took her several nights to realize that she was not merely dreaming but Dreaming.

With that realization came the ability to control (limitedly) what it was that she saw. Every night, she relived a million happy moments she never wanted to forget again: She visited Moradin as he sat in the reading nook of his room. She watched Raven and Oz as they wrestled in the yard. She peeked in on Eva Jade and Devyn as they made Kerrick play dress up with them.

And time and again she came back to Amanda. Their conversations. Their quiet moments. Their fights. She drank up every second she could get.

**

They sat on the pre-teen?s bed, staring up at the black, star-painted ceiling, talking about boys. ?Well, he has some problems but??

?So do you,? Amanda finished for her mother with a grin.

?Right.?

**

Amanda nodded and Jewell could see that she was biting at the inside of her cheek. ?Don?t do that.?

?What??

?Bite at the inside of your cheek like that.?

?You do it all the time, though.?

Jewell rolled her eyes, ?Amanda, nothing I ever do is always the right thing to do, I assure you.?

?I don?t have to stop if you don?t.? She blatantly bit the inside of her cheek harder now.

**

?At least I?m exciting enough to counteract their boring influence,? Amanda stated proudly, and Jewell easily recognized that upward tilt of her chin. She was pretty sure she knew where her daughter got that gesture from.

?Yes, I?m sure you are.?

?What?s that supposed to mean?? She asked, having picked up on her mother?s dry delivery.

Jewell just shook her head, sighing a little. ?Just that you?re more like me than I could ever wish you to be.? Her heart squeezed tightly inside of her chest because she knew what was coming.

The reply was beautiful: ?But I like being like you.?

**

?Wanna tell me about the other guy?? Amanda gave a sly look up to see if she?d get an answer.

There was a pause in her mother?s hand stroking her hair before Jewell spoke. ?He makes me smile.?

?You look prettier when you smile.?

?I know, it brings out that dimple in my right cheek.?

**

?Everyone seems to need you, mom.?

She laughed for the first times in weeks, ?It certainly seems like that sometimes, but it?s nice to be needed.?

?Will this new guy bring you flowers when you?re sad??

Jewell rolled her eyes at the girl, ?Don?t you think I can make him if I want flowers?? They both laughed, and it was genuine.

**

Amanda?s smile at being let in on one of her mother?s secrets melted into confusion, ?That sounds dumb! You?re like little girls.?

Jewell stopped short of saying one thing to exchange it for another, ?Well, we are.?

?You aren?t a little girl anymore.?

?Yes, I am dear,? she countered solemnly.

?How so??

?For a Faerie, I am a very little girl.?

?Like me??

?Just like you.?

?That?s why we?re friends, then,? her daughter stated firmly.

June 2015
Outside of Unkindness; Old Market District
RhyDin

Jewell made it a full city block before she turned and vented her fury on the brick wall of a local shop. She drove her fist into the brick again and again and again, cracking skin and finally bone before she could stop. Turning about with an exasperated cry laced with pain, she threw her back against the wall and slid down until she hit the ground, knees tucking up close to her body.

That had gone about as bad as it possibly could have. Maybe even worse.

Suddenly, the light of the nearby streetlamp was obstructed, plunging her into darkness. Her left hand clenched, the right cradled against her chest, as she looked up to face whatever assailant, beggar, or sleezebag who had chosen to bother her at this very truly inopportune moment.

?Rough night?? Ishmerai asked dryly.

She laughed, the way it caught in her throat indicating that it could quickly switch to tears any moment now, and let her left hand fall to the ground. ?Something like that.?

The knight took a seat on the ground next to her, back against the wall. ?How bad was it??

?Oh, it was..? the tears made their appearance, silently running down her cheeks; she wiped at them impatiently. ?It was pretty unbearable,? and she laughed again even as the tears continued unchecked. The look he gave her urged her to continue. This was the closest thing to a conversation that they had had in weeks. Ever since that night outside The Rock--when she had made empty promises just to get him not to leave--their relationship had been contentious at best. More often than not, a gulf of silence lay between them. She took the offered hand he gave her now to change that and bridge the distance her own actions had created.

?They blamed me. They blamed me for everything from beginning to end.? She said it calmly enough at first, but the truth was slowly sinking in and with it, anguish. ?They blamed me for the death of my children.? The tears came in earnest now along with sobs as she curled forward to rest her forehead against her knees. ?My sin. My fault.? Jenai and Brian had managed to verbalize each and every one of her fears, each and every one of her personal damnations.

There had been a reason she was at first reluctant to return to RhyDin and then terrified: How could she face her family without the children? How could she face them empty-handed, a failure?

It turned out, she couldn?t.

The knight stayed at her side, gently stroking her mess of blue hair as she cried brokenly.

AFI ?Exsanguination?

Welcome the whole new pain
and take comfort in what you've become.
I waved as I passed myself along the way.
I have arrived so unashamed but my reflection no longer looks the same.
It seems much dimmer now
It seems so dim!

Just stumble and fall into a world that's overcrowded.
And you will find me,
Won't recognize me;
and I won't recognize myself.

I've arrived so unashamed,
but all my senses no longer seem the same.
I can sense everything.
My sight's so clear.

Just stumble and fall into a world that's overcrowded.
And you will find me,
Won't recognize me;
and I won't recognize myself.

In an instant... my life just slipped away.
I fought for life, the whole time you were holding me down.
You watched me dying,
holding me down.
You brought my rebirth.

You watched me dying,
Holding me down.
You brought my rebirth.