Topic: Funnies!!

JewellRavenlock

Date: 2008-02-18 11:27 EST
A thread for funny stuff.

JewellRavenlock

Date: 2008-02-18 11:34 EST
Jewell and Veighn's Love Child
Log taken from the night of February 17, 2008 in the RDI:

Lord Veighn Yhaull: Ye're pregnant again? ::He turned his gaze to Jewel, catching the tail end of that conversation.::

RDI Jewell: Hey..kid-thing! Get to work!

Siren: :: Shakes her head:: No Ma'am maybe he lost his baseball?

Paxton Fettel: "Did she drink the water?" Following Veighn's gaze.

RDI Jewell: What!? Who has been telling you lies? ::Growling out to Veighn::

Jalleia: ::dark lips press together to keep a chuckle from forming, then she sips.::

Lord Veighn Yhaull: Frequently. ::He added, mirth tightening his eyes at their corners as he watched Jewel's expressions.::

RDI Jewell: ::Pinches the bridge of her nose, reminding herself to breathe because breathing is good for her. Then she smiles brightly:: yes! I am pregnant with Veighn's love child!

Paxton Fettel: He looked towards Veighn at that. Borw arch.

Alysia Skye: What the f---? ::stares at Jewell::

RDI Jewell: I could not wait for STephen to get out of jail, and Veighn offered to take me out on that..um..hearts and naked baby day so we went out. He woo'd me quite well, I must say.

RDI Jewell: I only threw up a little bit when he licked me with those three tongues this time.

Lucky Duck: ::Starts to send a saluting wave to Panther, brow quirking instead at Jewell's announcement::

Lord Veighn Yhaull: ::Regards the pair of women stoicly, before his countenance changed its expression to one of dubious nature.:::

Alysia Skye: You know, I can't say I've ever thrown up from being licked before, but I've never been licked by someone with three
tongues.

RDI Jewell: We got past that and eventually we made sweet love..and now I am pregnant with his love child, due to be born within
the hour RHyDin style.

Jalleia: You'd best treat him be- ::pausing at Jewell's statement. Her head also turns to look at Veign, and then back.:: I wonder if congratulations are the correct word.. ::muttered thoughtfully.::

Alysia Skye: Who gets custody?

Paxton Fettel: Hang on a second, his brain rewound, looking to Alysia. ...Did she just say something about three tongues?

RDI Jewell: I don't sweep kiddo. ::Off hand to Xan before back to Alysia:: We're thinking joint.

Siren: :: Looking at Jewel:: He licked you with three?

RDI Jewell: Yes, three tongues. It was a little surprising at first but let me tell you... he can do some freaky things with that junk.

Lord Veighn Yhaull: That is until it grows old enough to devour her completely. ::He regarded Jewel then with a head turn, venom
in his gaze.::

Cieara DeAuster: ::and what a remark for her to walk into and hear and she just paused in the doorway a moment, iridescent green
eyes widening for a moment then blinking in rapid secession as black ribbons from the shade she had only recently departed drifted off and
dissipated around her.::

Alysia Skye: ::glances speculatively between Siren, who expressed interest in the whole three tongue thing, and Veighn, the owner
of the tongue in question::

RDI Jewell: Then I get to care for the little bugger!

Alysia Skye: (vq)nom nom nom.

Paxton Fettel: He clucked his tongue, quietly. "See, Lord Veighn? Very, very popular, you seem to be."

RDI Jewell: Lady, let me tell you. ::To Siren:: The three tongue thing made me throw up in his mouth the first time, but really..if you
two can somehow move past that, you're gold.

RDI Jewell: Oh dear..::Her stomach grumbles and she covers it with a hand:: I think the baby is coming. If you'll excuse me.

Lucky Duck: ::Takes up a lean against the bar, running his hand over his neatly trimmed beard to mask his expression::

RDI Jewell: I'll be just a moment..::Calmly walks into the kitchen::

Alysia Skye: ::covers her face with her hands, desparately trying to recover her composure:: Sounds like gas, Jewell. ::muffled
words::

Lord Veighn Yhaull: ::He turned his head, whip-lash quick, toward Alysia then. His eyes narrowed slowly. He then expressed a
smile of mysterious nature.:: Go on, I encourage ye.

RDI Jewell: Same difference in this case, Alysia! ::Calling over her shoulder before the doors close::

Jalleia: ::stares after Jewell, roughly certain those aren't the noises heralding childbirth.::

Boudicca: ::Caught up in the story, she was listening to coming from Jewell...she was amazed. Catching herself having her mouth
agape...she shuts it at the mention of vomit and kissing. Closing her eyes...she winced. Maybe she didn't need that drink as bad as she
thought::

Xan Shard: ::Only to find her being even more upsetting than before his steps slowly walked up towards Jewell while she was in
the kitchen. his hands removed the apron and in a small fit he just...tossed the cloth in the womans face...if she couldn't be respecful why
should he help on her shift?...at least that was the boys logic as he marked for the porch to settle outsie onto a swing

RDI Jewell: ::Some pots banging loudly together can be heard, and something that sounded like vommitting more than anythng
else..or someone gagging.::

Paxton Fettel: His eyes flickered from Alysia, then back to Veighn, narrowing in thought.

Lucky Duck: ::A brow quirks at the noises coming from the kitchen::

RDI Jewell: ::Catches the apron, setting it aside as she moves about her work, gagging and making all sorts of weird noises as she
gives birth to her love child with Veighn::

Cieara DeAuster: ::silent gliding steps carried her across the commons and through the crowd towards the bar as she continued to
listen to Jewel and a faint curling touched rose pale lips as she sought a place at counter. Pushing the deep cowl of her cloak back from a
cascade of auburn curls, she slipped a few coins from the money purse riding the belt on trim hips.::

Alysia Skye: ::inhales sharply, tossing her hair back, squaring her shoulders. Fire-red eyes coolly regard Veighn:: Encourage me?
That's not very wise.

Lord Veighn Yhaull: ::Shadows flickered and coiled behind the fiery luminescense of his gaze.:: Stay the course, by all means. ::He
gestured, his smile boadening into something nearly Cheshire.::

Jalleia: ::also watches the child move for outside, a brow lifting. Long ears twitch continuously, seemingly alive, at the noises
Jewell makes.::

Siren: :: Still pondering the three tongues and vomiting , gazes around the inn :: What a interesting turn , a baby being
born tonight.

RDI Jewell: ::When she comes out from the kitchen, she's carrying a platter on which some mushy meat has been sculpted into a
smiley face that she sets on the bar before Veighn::

Lord Veighn Yhaull: The consensus of the common stock is that I am quite daft, Alysia. ::He snickered, finding something
humorous in his words.::

RDI Jewell: Hi there! Welcome to hell! ::With a wave to White. A kiss blown to Cie when she sees her before presenting her love
child to Veighn:: Isn't he beautiful?

Lucky Duck: ::Clears his throat and finally sends a nod to Panther, before turning to see the Empress returning with the 'love-
child'::

Boudicca: ::Stepping up onto the bars footrail, hooking the heel of her boot into it, she leans over the bar, grabbing an corked
bottle of whiskey and a CLEAN glass... placing them before her. Tossing a gold coin into the till...she figured Jewell had her...well...hands
full..::

Jalleia: ::leans to catch site of the 'newborn' and sits back almost instantly.:: That is the most hideous creature I've ever laid my
eyes upon..

Lord Veighn Yhaull: Impotent as well, on many accounts. Yet, it seems by Jewel's revelation, one such thing is a lie. ::He
continued to speak while watching the pair, Alysia and Jewel.:: Good evening Cieara.

Alysia Skye: I never knew you to put much weight in the opinions of "common stock." But you may well be daft -- or at least
courting madness.

Alysia Skye: Hello, Lucien. ::quietly::

RDI Jewell: Sorry love! I would have got it for you in a minute. ::Witha bashful smile to Boudicca::

Jalleia: I had no idea young ones came in that shape or ah.. color.. ::rapid blinks.::

RDI Jewell: Jalleia..that is very insulting. ::Huffs::

Paxton Fettel: He glanced aside to Veighn then. "Is there something particularly wrong with courting madness?"

Jalleia: Shall we just claim it takes after its father? ::not missing a beat.::

RDI Jewell: ::Sticks a fork in her love child, adds a roll to the platter, and slides it closer to Veighn:: Enjoy.

RDI Jewell: Oh, it absolutely does in this case.

Jalleia: Then there are no qualms. ::smiling, as she thinks the matter is settled.::

Lord Veighn Yhaull: Courting? ::He nearly cackled, at most it was a sinister form of discordant laughter.:: Of course. And nae, I've
never put much stock in the thoughts of supersticious knaves, Alysia. Ye know that much, I'd hope.

RDI Jewell: Now that I'm done giving birth to my fifty-millionth kid, does anyone need a drink?

Cieara DeAuster: ::a glance at the platter which brought an elegant brow arching upwards, but she smiled back to Jewel.:: The
lovechild I presume? Nae quite what I would have expected of course. ::stepping around a few patrons with another amused curling of lips
and a nod to Veighn.:: Evening to ye Ceisdein.

Alysia Skye: Probably needs ketchup. ::nodding toward the stick-a-fork-in-it-its-done love child served upon to Daddy Veighn::

Lord Veighn Yhaull: ::He turned his head, nose wrinkling at the platter offered, he then ignored it with the averting of his eyes from
its vicinity.::

RDI Jewell: When the love is as corrupt as Veighn and mine, Cieara...well..::Waves to the platter:: It needs ketchup. ::Agreeing with
Alysia::

Lord Veighn Yhaull: Fan of ketsup, are ye? ::He snickered.:: Jewel, be a doll and fetch the lovely Priestess some <I>ketsup</I>
::His voice held a noticeable ascerbic quality to it.::

Cieara DeAuster: Ah Jewel sweet, might I get some hot cider when ye get a moment of time please? Also, I think there be love
there. ::her features took on an amused cast for a moment with a side glance to Veighn.:: Ye both seem to live snapping and sending verbal
barbs at each other.

Lord Veighn Yhaull: Jewel has been amusing Alysia and I with stories from her loins. ::He directed toward the offered platter he
was currently ignoring.::

RDI Jewell: Uh..no. ::Shaking her head to Veighn and getting another cider for Cie, moving over to hand it to her instead of just
sliding it down the bar:: What can I say? I can't take my eyes off him and he gets me all.. hott.

Alysia Skye: Such a gentleman, attempting to tend to my appetites. But ketsup? ::sneering mildly at Veighn:: Is generally too
sweet.

Lord Veighn Yhaull: Perhaps a nice wine baisting would be preferred. Some bloodspice perhaps, or ichor in the cooking? ::His
brows rose, adding emphasis to the question.::

Lucky Duck: Lord Veighn, allow me to offer you my congratulations on the arrival of your 'offspring' ::With a nod to the 'love-
child'::

RDI Jewell: ::Her cheek twitches as she tries not to laugh at Lucky's comment::

Lord Veighn Yhaull: Does that mean ye'd like a piece, "Bob?" A thigh, or arm? ::His amusement at the query gave his features a
sinister cast.::

Alysia Skye: ::grins as Lucien interjects, looking toward Jewell for a moment:: Have you time, there was a drink made from rose
spirits that I tried once. It was. . . what the hell was it called. Shireeni?

Lord Veighn Yhaull: Ah, but Jewel would be horribly insulted if ye weren't to partake of our gift. Alysia did mention... ketsup. ::As
if that were all the incentive Lucien would ever need.::

Lucky Duck: ::Takes a step back out of the way of the reaching hand:: Insulting Jewell? How clumsy of me, I meant to insult you,
Veighn.

Lord Veighn Yhaull: Ye should assist Jewel in having another, Lucien. They're all the rave, I hear, most the males of RhyDin have
contributed to such a cause.

Lord Veighn Yhaull: ::The Lunithaylian offering up his most sugary sweet tone.::

Lucky Duck: ::Wags a finger at Veighn with a grin:: Now now...it appears you are doing well on that front all by yourself, Veighn

Alysia Skye: My, my. ::smiles brightly at Veighn, not showing the points of her teeth:: If he did provide that sort of assistance,
they'd both be dead or suffering, as would you, for having suggested such a thing.

Lord Veighn Yhaull: What can I say...<I>Bob</I>... I'm utterly magnificent.

Lucky Duck: Undoubtedly ::Offers to Veighn with a wry grin::

Lord Veighn Yhaull: Is that so? ::His brow piqued, a smile blossoming like spring tulips. Brow piqued.::

Alysia Skye: ::a flash of anger smolders in crimson eyes, quickly masked before she reaches for the ichor and takes a drink::

Cieara DeAuster: And ever so modest as well. ::didn't even bother to hide the laughter that colored her honey warm words as she
glanced over at Lucky and Veighn now, lightly cradling her mug in gloved fingers.::

Lord Veighn Yhaull: Ye woo me dangerously, Alysia. I swoon. ::He leaned heavily upon his staff, that smile brilliant.::

Jalleia: ::nodding.:: He seems quite well enough, miffed at you, but otherwise alright. And yes, just the one. ::she rubs her hands
together vigorously, and if one was close enough, they could see a faint green glow emitting from her palms. She then rubbed her arms,
warming them.::

Alysia Skye: There was this shadow dragon, a long time ago, who taught me how. ::to Xen:: It's like this. You go
<I>wooooooooooo</I>. ::crooning::

RDI Jewell: Thanks. ::Offering other-J a grin as she stirs the hot chocolate:: And he can get in line of people who are angry or upset
with me..after that dude..::Points to the father of her love-child::

Lucky Duck: Veighn, why don't you take your offspring for a walk or something? ::Offers helpfully before taking a good swallow
of scotch::

Lord Veighn Yhaull: Cieara, save me from our siren friend, and quickly, before I'm utterly captivated... ::His tone boarderline heady,
sooty lashes lowering, causing the scales lining his eyelids to refract the light.:: and lost forever in her thrall.

Alysia Skye: You do poison with your honeyed words, my Lord. ::a hint of a smirk::

JewellRavenlock: ::Takes a seat at the patron's side of the bar instead:: Des..ignore that ::Waving to the platter with meet scultped
into a happy-face:: It's my love child with Veighn.

Piper: "That is foul, Jewell." Glancing to the platter with a cringe.

RDI Destre: ::she nods to the Empress a bit confused but isn't about to touch that platter for any amount of coins:: Got it!

RDI Destre: Love child with the Black Wizard.

JewellRavenlock: So is the father. ::With a nod of agreement to Piper::

JewellRavenlock: What can I say, Des, he's charming?

Lucky Duck: Isn't it high time you put your offspring to bed, Veighn? ::Remarks casually, finger still tapping::

JewellRavenlock: Oh gosh, the baby! ::Glances to the platter of meat on the bar after hearing Lucky::

JewellRavenlock: Veighn, darling, it's your night to take care of him!

Lord Veighn Yhaull: ::His nostrils flared, and the intake of air almost certainly felt as it passed over the flesh of her moist lips. He
locked eyes with the Priestess.:: Oh, I'm sure ye can manage, Jewel.

JewellRavenlock: No no..you best take him, Veighn. I may eat the poor dear! ::Talks to the platter of meat:: Honey, you're going
home with daddy..behave!

JewellRavenlock: ::Wags her finnger at the happy-face shaped meat lump on the platter that served as a representation of her love
for Veighn::

Lucky Duck: Come now Veighn, you heard Mother. Best take junior home now.

Alysia Skye: ::suspects after being left out for an hour or so, the meat lump is harboring all sorts of foul disease and will usher in a
new era of plague in Rhydin::

Elessaria

Date: 2008-02-18 21:11 EST
Jewell and Veighn's Love Child
Log taken from the night of February 17, 2008 in the RDI:


::roflmclbo and then dies from laughter, comes back to life to die all over again-- this is RhyDin!::

Sure, figures all the fun happens when I miss a shift!

So, did Veighn devour his offspring yet or what? Franco... we need an intern here!!!! Inquiring minds want to know... I think. ;)

JewellRavenlock

Date: 2013-07-28 10:17 EST
Saturday, 27 July 2013: Skeith and Jewell's Budding Romance


Gren Blockman: My name is Gren Blockman. It's nice to meet you. I don't think you've told me your name yet. ::shakes her hand firmly::

DUEL Norah: Hands Rix over six vouchers for a free cupcake from Topical Cupcakes. "For Gabby."

JewellRavenlock: Jewell Ravenlock is the one most people know me as.. or the Empress. It's nice to meet you, Gren.

DUEL Rix: Ooooooh! ::snags them up:: Thanks! You're the best!

JewellRavenlock: Heeey! ::Points to Norah as Rix gets a lot more than everyone else::

JewellRavenlock: Inequality inherent in the system!

Gren Blockman: I've heard that name once or twice. ::smiles, then glances at the vouchers getting passed out:: I guess I missed out.

Skeith: He'd slowly trudge over next to Jewell before lifting his left index to point at her. "You are an acceptable opponent."

DUEL Norah: "I'll give you six when you're expecting." To Jewel

JewellRavenlock: Oh you've heard of me? ::Now she practically gleams with that smile for Gren:: I mean.. ::Tries to play it cool:: of course you have. Who hasn't?

DUEL Rix: It's because I'm callin'! And because my girlfriend is pregnant and loves cupcakes. And she is super sweet and awesome and deserves 'em!

JewellRavenlock: But I already had like.. a bagillion child.. ::She both jumps back and trails off as Skeith is just there, pointing at her::

Gren Blockman: ::gives her a nod and a smile, then looks at Skeith as he speaks to Jewell::

JewellRavenlock: Listen buddy.. ::Staightening up, she still has to look up at Skeith:: I know it's hard because I'm famous and beautiful, but that doesn't mean you should stalk me like this. It's unhealthy, really.

Skeith: He stared at her unaware of what stalking meant. Maybe he wasn't clear enough. He'd pick up the blade with both hands and the intense grip started the blade to rotate as he pointed it in her and Gren's direction. "We can duel?"

Gren Blockman: ::glances at Skeith, then back at Jewell::

JewellRavenlock: ::She sighs. This was always hard. Jewell slowly shook her head back and forth:: Listen, I'm flattered.. really, I am. But it's just not going to work out between us. You broke my nose. I brained you in the head. That's just not the start of a good relationship.

DUEL Rix: I think that's how Matt and Koy got started. ::hearing Jewell:: Or how they keep goin' on...

JewellRavenlock: ::Eyes Rix:: Shhh.. I'm trying to let him down easy here.

Skeith: "I..." He wasn't really sure how to handle this situation. Was he being rejected? But he only wanted a duel? What was she going on about a relationship? Was she into him? "So... " The blade would get eased down while the chain hummed to a stop. He had to process it.

JewellRavenlock: ::She tries to give him one of those fake smiles girls give when they're crushing your heart into a million pieces:: Maybe we can just be friends one day.

Gren Blockman: ::to Skeith:: I think what she's trying to say is, she doesn't want to duel you. ::helpful smile::

Skeith: He'd give a nod while thinking to himself. The blade was hoisted up and across his shoulders as he thought for a second. "Okay. If I win the duel you'll gon on a date with me?"

Gren Blockman: Oh boy. ::covers his face with his hand::

JewellRavenlock: Umm.. ::Grimaces. There was just no way to let this guy down easy.:; No.

JewellRavenlock: I mean, no offense or anything.. you got this weird axe-murderer thing going for you that I'm sure some girls are really into and all. Just not me.

Skeith: "W-wait why not?! I thought ... " The blade nearly put a hole in the ground while he removed his hands and they idly floated. "I only have batons, my blade and a scythe! What do you mean axe?!"

JewellRavenlock: ::Poor dear. She gave him a sympathetic smile:: Don't worry hun, it's not you. It's me. Really. I'm sure people find you very charming with your assortment of weapons and that, "I may kill you for foreplay" look in your eyes.

JewellRavenlock: If you need a shoulder to cry on--which is totally normal, by the way, because I break hearts all the time--I'm sure Gren here will oblige you. ::Pats Gren's arm::

Gren Blockman: ::gets a bewildered look on his face, didn't want to leave Jewell's side in case she was in trouble, but didn't expect to be a "shoulder to cry on" either::

Rena A Cronin: ::peers at Jewell::As long as Maul and Teagan aren't around::smiling a bit::

Skeith: "People?!" The tone was ful of disgust. People were terrible creatures. But Jewell, she was a diamond in the rough. He would pave roads with the corpses of the masses. She alone and her beauty was bewitching. "You are the only one for me, Jewell!" Dramatic point at her with the right hand and the determination of a thousand men in those red eyes.

Gren Blockman: Which they're not. ::gives a few more furtive glances to the corners to be sure, then nods sagely::

JewellRavenlock: ::Oh my. This was clearly getting out of hand:: Riiiight. So. I have to go.. wash my hair. ::Slowly inching backwards towards the door::

Gren Blockman: ::watches Jewell back up, then looks at Skeith:: If you want a duel, you can duel me. Let the lady go. How about it?

Skeith: "W-wait! I get it! You don't have to leave!" He'd take both hands and with both feet rip the blade from the floor. "I challenge anyone in here to a duel! If I win it will be a testament for my feelings for Jewell! ANYONE."

Gren Blockman: ::putting himself between Skeith and Jewell at this point:: You have your challenger. ::looks back at Jewell, and gives a little nod to the door, smiling::

DUEL Rix: Gren! Guy with the hots for Jewell! You duelin'?

Gren Blockman: ::to Rix:: If this gentleman wants to. ::nodding to Skeith::

Charles Blackstone: "Jewell" He took a deep breath looking at her "You still avoiding me? Or want to have a duel?"

JewellRavenlock: ::The urge to slap her hand over her face is so great.. but wait! Gren has already unknowingly sacrificed himself:: That is.. wow. I'm touched. Gren here can't wait to duel you so you can um.. prove your feelings for me.

JewellRavenlock: ::Makes some crazy gesture to Charles that is supposed to somehow signify that she's got a crazy stalker after her that Gren just intercepted so she'd love to.. but she has to run. It probably just looks like waving though::

Skeith: He would eye up Gren cautiously. He didn't know anyone from these parts. He'd turn to Rix and give a nod with the burning red eyes. Once he had the acknowledgment from Jewell he gave a thumbs up to Rix and turned to Gren. "For my empress!" The chain started to violently spin with the speed of a bullet train.

Gren Blockman: I guess that's a "yes". ::smiles to Rix::

JewellRavenlock: ::Makes a note to buy flowers to lay on Gren's grave tomorrow. Mouths him an "I owe you one" and then extends a hand to Skeith:: If you don't win, I am afraid we must be parted forever.

DUEL Rix: What's your name, anyway? ::to Skeith::

DUEL Rix: You and Gren get ring Sharp!

Gren Blockman: ::just nods and smiles to Jewell, then makes his way to Ring Sharp, pulling out his oaken staff as he goes::

Skeith: "Skeith." To Rix as he dragged that vicious blade into the ring. One last glimpse at Jewell as he put both hands on the hilt and focused on Rix. "I'm afraid I must not hold back with the stakes this high... "

JewellRavenlock: ::Not one to waste an opportunity, she gets the heck out of dodge. She comforted herself with the idea that Gren looked like he probably, maybe.. sort of could handle himself::

Gren Blockman: ::climbs inside the ring, bows to Rix, then to Skeith:: Do what you must, I am ready. ::holds up his oaken staff and prepares for the fight::

--After Skeith lost his duel to Gren--

Skeith: Staff was driven home and he'd hit with his back on the ground. Blade went into the ground sticking up and the chain slowly came to a stop. "Ugh..."

Gren Blockman: ::bows respectfully to Skeith, then focuses his eyes on his:: Maybe, sir, you should take the hint and leave the "Empress" alone. Hmm?

Skeith: He'd get up and take the blade over his shoulders once more. A nod visible to Rix and eye up Gren now. "You have simply doused more fuel onto the fire. She will hear of your victory and then I shall make my feelings known even more so, when I beat you in the rematch."

Gren Blockman: ::lowers his head a bit and smiles:: Maybe not. ::looks back at him:: I will be ready for our rematch. ::nods once again::

JewellRavenlock

Date: 2016-01-15 21:56 EST
((I haven't been able to find the log that I was actually looking for, but I found this gem from March 16, 2007. We will call it: When Harris Met Jewell))

JewellRavenlock: You..::Nodding to Harris:: Dueler. Are you bugging her? ::Head-nod to Kitty::

HarrisTheHeckler: ::brow raise for Jewell::

Kitty O Helston: No Jewell. We're just discussing my possibly being his arm candy.. pending I sign the contract.

JewellRavenlock: ::She mimics the gesture::

JewellRavenlock: ::Blanches:: Kitty..no. He'd make you look bad!

HarrisTheHeckler: ::pearly whites go on display::

Issy: ::chuckles as she wiggled her brows, standing next to Jewell::

HarrisTheHeckler: I almost take offense to that.

JewellRavenlock: ::Flashes an obnoxious grin to Harris::

HarrisTheHeckler: Thankfully you don't know me well enough.

JewellRavenlock: I obviously need to be more biting in my delivery.

JewellRavenlock: That's true, actually I don't think I know you at all.

Kitty O Helston: What? He doesn't look that ba-::blinks over her shoulder::

JewellRavenlock: I usually just go around insulting random strangers...it works for me.


HarrisTheHeckler: So I noticed.

Issy: ::nods:: It's an art form, really.

HarrisTheHeckler: ::he picks at something in his teeth::

HarrisTheHeckler: Okay, so, who was insulting me and was I punching them in the neck? ::scratches his head::

JewellRavenlock: I was insulting you but you were admiring my rare beauty.

HarrisTheHeckler: I was? In that case, you want a job? ::there was that trademark grin of his::

JewellRavenlock: As what? Hey..didn't you have some kind of ad in the Oracle once about needing a girl?

HarrisTheHeckler: ::taps his nose in the affirmative, that grin remaining::

JewellRavenlock: Riiight..I remember that. ::She giggled:: I thought it'd be fun to try out or something..and then tell you to get lost.

HarrisTheHeckler: But why settle for just one? The more the merrier I say.

HarrisTheHeckler: I'm sure other people say that too, but they aren't me, so ignore them.

JewellRavenlock: Though..you aren't too bad looking.

JewellRavenlock: I'm sorry, I don't do duelers anymore.

HarrisTheHeckler: It's the hair. ::jabbing a finger toward the blue mop of hair atop his head::

JewellRavenlock: The whole sword obsession thing, you know.

HarrisTheHeckler: Who said anything about doing me?

HarrisTheHeckler: ::blank stare::

JewellRavenlock: ::She gave a tug to her own blue locks::

Issy: ::Her lips pressed together and she nodded over Jewell's shoulder::

HarrisTheHeckler: Taken. ::holding up a hand to allow her to view the wedding band around his ring finger::

HarrisTheHeckler: It's strictly for status purposes.

JewellRavenlock: So? ::Rolling her eyes, looking to Issy:: Has that ever mattered before?

JewellRavenlock: I'm not good arm candy, I'm too mouthy.

HarrisTheHeckler: And?

HarrisTheHeckler: That's part of the job.

HarrisTheHeckler: Insulting people that aren't as awesome as me.

HarrisTheHeckler: Basically everyone.

HarrisTheHeckler: ::snicker::

JewellRavenlock

Date: 2016-10-08 14:45 EST
Thursday, 6 October 2016 (RoH--Arena): Sabine Questions Kal

Kalamere Wha' are we drinkin ta?

JewellRavenlock ::She clinked her glass against his but then paused at the question, biting down on the inside of her cheek:: Dancing partners ::She managed a smile and then drank. It was not the first thing to come to mind::

Kalamere Dancin' partners, ::he agreed and downed the drink::

DUEL Sabine She was staring at Kal, one eyebrow all cocked up and she had a squinty look going on.

JewellRavenlock ::She shook her head as she set the glass down:: So much better than that other stuff

Kalamere ::he could feel the eyes on him and it took a seconds looking around to spot the look from Sabine.:: Di' ye care fer a bit o' whiskey, lass? ::since he wasn't sure really what else to make of the look::

Kalamere Ne'er take the bottle mos' conveniently placed. ::he agreed with Jewell as to the quality of the whiskey::

DUEL Sabine "N-nooo." Her face seems stuck. "How is it you can go from melting panties one second to delivering toasts to being dancing partners?" More squinting and then a scoff.

JewellRavenlock I think she wants to see you bend some more ::She stage whispered to Kal:

DUEL Sabine Nevermind that Jewell had said it first. She wasn't on trial here.

DUEL Sabine SQUINT

JewellRavenlock ::For some reason, the question made her blush. Must have been the melting panties part!::

Kalamere I'm na so sure abou' the panties part.. bu' the drinkin' and dancin' and duelin'.. well they all jus' seem ta fit tagether.

DUEL Sabine "You're sitting there with Rhydin's like number one hottie and you toast to dancing partners?! Woo the woman! WOO!" She shook a fist.

Kalamere ::at that he chuckled and cast a glance to Jewell to see her reaction::

JewellRavenlock You're right. She was checking me out while we were dancing. ::Jewell switched from the whiskey to the Badsider with a grin::

Kalamere I tol' ye'

DUEL Sabine "Romance is dead." Muttered as she picked her book back up.

JewellRavenlock ::Nudges Kal:: You disappointed her

Kalamere Aye, so t'would seem. ::he shrugged and sipped at his beer:: 'course I also don' tend ta thin' m'time spent wit ye is meant ta be entertainin' the public.

DUEL Sabine She scoffs and goes back to pretending to read.

JewellRavenlock No? Must be confused all this time about what we've been up to. ::She smiled a little as she took a sip of her Badsider::

DUEL Sabine The book slowly lowered. "How long have you guys been together?"

Kalamere ::chuckles and shakes his head:: Sure, take 'er side.

JewellRavenlock ::One brow ticked upwards at the question. Trouble maker that she is, she just takes another sip of Badsider at such a convenient moment::

Kalamere We've, umm.. ::together wasn't really the right turn of phrase to use, so he sought another:: spent time t'gether fer a few years now.

Kalamere ::a subtle change, he figure might get by without being noticed::

DUEL Sabine "YEARS?!" Her eyes went wide. And then... "Spent... time together." She was back to squinting at him. "You are not as smooth as I thought you were. You deserve a kick in the nuts for that."

Kalamere ::he blinked at the reaction, not entirely sure what it was he'd done.::

DUEL Sabine "Don't you blink at me like that. You are a romantical disappointment! You look like a cover boy but you deliver lines like a play boy. You make me sad. SAD!" She shook her fist dramatically. Maybe she had spent too much time at the theatre...

JewellRavenlock ::She tugged on Kal's arm:: Probably safe to retreat before she makes good on her threats, handsome. ::She had a rather non-reaction to what he had said it seemed::

Kalamere Am I bein' compared ta a romance novel? ::that had to be a first::

DUEL Sabine She wasn't reading one, but yes, yes he was. She clapped her hands twice and Botty came rolling out. "Take over for me. I am so done."

Kalamere I make no claim ta bein' either o' those versions, Sabine. Jus' an average lad ::shrugs::

Kalamere ::nodding to Jewell:: Aye, prolly fer the best.

DUEL Sabine "But you're so... " She waved a hand up and down in gesture at him and pouted.

Kalamere Tall?

JewellRavenlock ::She probably didn't disagree with what Sabine was saying, but it made her feel prickly and a bit defensive:: He's fine even if he is a.. play boy? ::Wasn't sure if she got it right there::

DUEL Sabine "Well of course he's fine look at him!" Totally taking that elsewhere. " I just thought he was like hot, swoon-y, a little bad boy, AND sweet. I think my romance-loving heart hurts a little right now."

JewellRavenlock ::The rational part of her brain knew Sabine meant well, but she was really putting her on edge. There was something sharp to her tone:: He can be sweet. You don't hear me complaining.

Kalamere Verra flattering ta hear, bu as I said.. jus' an average lad. Might be wit a bit more penchant fer stabbin' folks than most. ::he grinned::

Kalamere ::right, so that tone meant it was time to drag Jewell out of here::

DUEL Sabine "And tall." muttered. But only because she's so short. She stood up and started walking. "Yeah yeah. You guys are great together." She waved a hand. "I'll see you in a few weeks." And she headed out.

Kalamere Time ta be 'eadin' 'ome, ::taking Jewell by the arm:: Safe travels Sabine, thanks fer workin the rings t'night

DUEL Sabine "Heartbreaker." Muttered before the door closed.

JewellRavenlock ::She was really close to shaking him off but she heard that last line from Sabine and that bit of fight went out of her:: Yeah, sure. Let's go.

JewellRavenlock

Date: 2017-01-06 10:49 EST
The Red Dragon Inn
Thursday, 5 January 2017

Zan "All right then. He's already off to recruit. Real Pied Piper over there." He was about through with the creepy visuals of kid-hunting anyway, so he turned back to the girls with a more genuine expression. "Would you all like me to head out? Seems like you've got some private business to discuss."

JewellRavenlock Up to you good looking ::She grinned at Zan. She didn't deny they had some real business to discuss, but it wasn't the best venue for that anyway:: I'd never chase a fine fella away

Zan "Thanks -- I appreciate that. Never easy to squeeze two compliments in at once." He cracked open his beer, still unsure if he should stick around. "I think we may have met before. Jewell, right? I've seen you around at those arena nights, I think. I don't go often but I remember seeing the likes of you and Peaches down there."

JewellRavenlock That's me! I'm The Empress Overlady of the Duel of Swords, actually. ::Grinning.:: I believe we've actually met before, but I'm not sure if I ever got your name.

Issy Being the overprotective type that she was, Isuelt's dark gaze trained itself on Zan. She was looking him over, as if she were waiting for him to burst into flames or something.

JewellRavenlock ::She hadn't forgotten Issy with the distracting Zan. She traded easily between the two conversations:: Things have been moving forward there. Not sure quite what's going down yet though.

Zan "Fancy title. I'm just Boring Ol' Zan. That's not my birth name though -- just a nickname girls give after meeting me." He nodded to Issy, who didn't seem as easily distracted. "Anyway I'm going to let you guys get back to it, but I need you to do me a favor first." This to Issy, oddly enough.

JewellRavenlock Zan ::She repeated with a friendly grin, looking him over:: I'll be remembering that one.

Issy Tight-lipped, sour pussed as always, she merely arched a brow to Zan and his request for a favor.

JewellRavenlock ::Issy's reaction just made her laugh as she stepped around the bar, digging out a Mad Fairy Ale. It was named after her!::

Zan Somehow, the tight-lipped sour puss only egged him on more. "See, before I go, I'm going to try and get Jewell -- Empress Overlady of the Duel of Swords -- to agree to grab a drink with me while I'm in town. So I wanted you, as her friend, confidant, and advisor, to be encouraging. When I ask, pretend like you found me charming and cute and not at all obnoxious. Think that's possible?"

Issy Isuelt's lower lip hung limply open as if Zan had suddenly sprouted an arm out of his forehead. She lamely stared at him for a solid count of three before she remembered to close her slack-jawed mouth. "Are...are you serious?" Was all she could think to say.

JewellRavenlock ::Her eyes widen as that was not at all what she expected the request to be. She covered her surprise well enough as she opened one bottle of Mad Fairy and set it by Issy and then another. As she came back around the bar, she cast a sly glance at her friend to see what her reaction would be.::

Zan "Totally serious. But it's the best way to get me to leave right now. And all it'll take is a few fake compliments. Maybe something about the hair -- the dimples -- even mention the ass if you can avoid vomiting afterwards." When Jewell returned, he gave her a smile. "Your friend was just saying I should ask you out, Jewell. She's insisting, really."

JewellRavenlock Oh is she? ::The faerie lived for games like this and was clearly willing to play along. She looked to Issy with a fond smile:: Issy does always have my best interest in mind. Are you thinking of listening to her suggestion? ::Arching a brow at Zan as if this all was Issy's idea::

Issy Her mouth was once again slackened (major props to Zan for accomplishing that twice in five minutes), as she looked to Jewell and really, honestly, truly fought for something to say.

Issy A series of non-commital noises, mostly tongue clicks and exhales, later, the Scathachian simply shook her head and raised her shoulders as if to say, 'What the hell'? After all, wasn't this her new motto? To seize the day, so to speak.

Zan "You know -- at first, I wasn't so sure. Pretty Empresses aren't usually my type. I tend to go for the assistant empresses with a little acne and a unibrow. But...." Looking her over, long and hard. "Issy here made a compelling case for you. So what do you think? Can you eat some french fries before a date? Grease up and hope you grow a pimple or two?"

Issy Okay, he had won some points. Zan's life expectancy just shot upwards! The warrior leaned back, grinning and supremely impressed with the young man's panache, and looked to Jewell. "Go ahead, J. Give the guy a thrill."

JewellRavenlock Hmm ::Her lips scrunched off to the side as she considered the proposal:: I don't know about the pimples, but I could probably manage a unibrow if you give me a few days? ::There was the hint of a smile trying to make a break for it through her poker face:: And while I am very grateful that Issy uh.. made a compelling case for me, as if I ever needed one ::There was the smirk:: I have a vital counter question: If, on this outing, I happen to let your lips touch mine, what are the chances that you will attempt to ritually disembowel yourself immediately after?

Issy A squinty faced Judge shot her attention to the Empress. Well...there was a question she wasn't expecting. "Jewell!"

JewellRavenlock What!? ::She threw her hand up:: It's happened! I am totally willing to give this young man a thrill or two, but really... I can only handle one ritual suicide attempt a week.

Zan "That's a great question. But you know what? We'll have a three-foot rule. We'll grab a drink -- from a safe distance away -- and once we determine that it's safe and no one will disembowel or projective vomit, we can break down that barrier. Deal?"

JewellRavenlock ::She tilted her head:: Let's make it two feet. Three feet makes it awkward for you to open doors for me.

Issy As if she were watching the match of the century, a hand over her lips and she looked back from Jewell to Zan and back again. "And don't forget the no projectile vomiting part..." So helpful.

Zan "Okay fine -- deal." Nodding to confirm it, with a sly smirk. Then he gave a bigger grin to Issy. "Look at that, Issy. We did it! No one gave Boring Ol' Zan a chance, but we shocked the world! And now, you may be stuck with me longer than you wanted."

JewellRavenlock I'm not too concerned about that. My gag reflex isn't that sensitive. ::Winking at Issy and then giving Zan a nod:: Sounds good

Zan "Don't make any promises you can't keep, Jewell." He happily ducked back under the bar and headed to the exit, happy to quit while he was ahead. "And don't run away or flee the planet -- because you're locked into this, for better or worse."

Issy Wide-eyed to Zan at that, "Me? Or her?" She pointed to Jewell. "Men sticking with me is dangerous to their health and you seem like a nice kid."

Issy Though after Jewell's retort, she nearly snorted that last sip of whisky.

JewellRavenlock I'm not the one you should worry about, Zan my dear! I'm not the one who made a deal with a faerie. ::Her smile is 100% cat-ate-the-canary::

JewellRavenlock Oh no. He's a nice kid? ::Sighs:: Maybe we should get him a motorcycle or something. Dirty him up a bit. That's always more fun.

Zan "Nice kid? Never! I'm heading off to murder some puppies right now!" And with that, he disappeared, to seek out some puppies. Or a nap. One of the two.

JewellRavenlock ::She leaned to better watch him walk out the door. Then she tilted back, took a sip of her ale, and grinned at Issy:: He was right. He does have a nice ass.

Issy She watched Zan exit, even kept her gaze on the door for a moment or two before she looked to Jewell, thumbing at said door. "Who the **** was that? Seriously?"

JewellRavenlock ::She smacked her hand on the bartop when Zan was really gone, laughing:: Hell if I know! I've seen him around, sure but he's never paid me much attention.

Issy "I don't know how you handle everything with such grace, J. Really."

JewellRavenlock Practice. ::She paused:: And a lot of alcohol ::Laughing again::