I look into the magic mirror, and what do I see?
It?s a perfected image staring back at me.
The mirror Briarius gave me last night is lovely, stunningly so. I?ve never seen its like in this realm, but that would make sense, wouldn?t it, as he said it comes from the fae. The runes on it tell the same story, would tell me more if I could read them. I trace the engravings again and again, hoping to recall their meaning out of the depths of my mind. It?s never going to work. I was always a horrible student when it came to languages; my Elvish is despicable.
I focus on my reflected face again; black hair tousled from sleep and my skin still white from my energy manipulation exertions earlier last week. I?m lucky I didn?t kill myself. They don?t know that, no one does, it?s just an ever present truth in my mind that I casually ignore. I ignore it now because it isn?t important. I didn?t die, life goes on.
Rather, I focus on a word used in reference to me. Slut. A single word has so much power, doesn?t it? Not to hurt, not this time, but to bring back those unwanted memories from ages past. But who am I kidding? It hasn?t been ages, merely years or even one year. I can call them to mind easily, and do so now to see them played out before me on the smooth surface of that magic mirror rather than wait to see them when I close my eyes.
--
It was my last night home, the last night I would ever be able to call my own planet home. After that, it was just a place I would go to visit, the world I ran from to come to RhyDin.
I can see a young girl step into the dark room, an angelic smile on her face as she pads across the rich carpeted floor with sore feet. I know her feet are sore because of the way she walks and the ridiculous glass slippers she holds in her hand that are set down amongst her wardrobe. Those hurt like hell. I know because she is me and I was her, once. We look different, now. I covered my blue hair long ago and my waist has never been that tiny since I had my first daughter. She is still in me though, because I know I resurrect that smile, the pained yet satisfied walk, every time I spend a night dancing.
I watch on as a man enters attacks the young girl in her room, backhanding her across the face again and again until she is practically senseless on the floor. I can listen in as he calls her a slut or a useless whore because she had spurned him earlier, dancing her little heart away with any other man but him. Even though her face is bruised and her eyes are empty as he forces his will on her for the last time I know what she is feeling inside, I remember. She feels a pounding in her face as it swells from the blows, a faint metallic taste in her mouth from her broken lip. Her feet still ache but she doesn?t care as she borders on unconsciousness willingly to escape the night.
--
The mirror clears and I can see my face again. I?m stoic, uncaring in my mind but the magic mirror tells all by reflecting the tears in my eyes. It was a long time ago and that can?t hurt me now; but it does, words and all. I can trace my wrists where there were bruises the next morning and remember how my face was ruined for weeks.
--
I know this next scene, the setting more familiar to the woman I am now compared to the girl I used to be. It is downstairs, in the common room of the Red Dragon Inn, and I?m seated at the bar besides Quiet Populi. It is me this time, not some distant incomplete version of myself. I?m back in RhyDin for the first time in two years.
I know this night. It wasn?t so very long ago. Alex was with Lain somewhere, acting like a fool across the Inn with water-balloons or some other nonsense. The mirror can show me that, if I wish it too, but I want to see the bar. Past-me is just sitting there with Katherine serving drinks to everyone. I miss Kat. Quiet takes my hand; I don?t know why I let him. I can see the kind smile on my face now; I just wanted to be friends. I remember that now, I knew that then.
Alex didn?t know it. I can see the rage fresh on his face as he tears across the room at that other-Jewell that was me and Quiet. He says one word to her before all hell breaks loose in the Inn, ?Slut.?
I can turn away now, I don?t need to see anymore. This one is still too fresh in my mind. The magic mirror obeys my command and the image dissipates into my reflection once more, but I don?t look now to see what it may show. I already know that I?m crying.
It?s a perfected image staring back at me.
The mirror Briarius gave me last night is lovely, stunningly so. I?ve never seen its like in this realm, but that would make sense, wouldn?t it, as he said it comes from the fae. The runes on it tell the same story, would tell me more if I could read them. I trace the engravings again and again, hoping to recall their meaning out of the depths of my mind. It?s never going to work. I was always a horrible student when it came to languages; my Elvish is despicable.
I focus on my reflected face again; black hair tousled from sleep and my skin still white from my energy manipulation exertions earlier last week. I?m lucky I didn?t kill myself. They don?t know that, no one does, it?s just an ever present truth in my mind that I casually ignore. I ignore it now because it isn?t important. I didn?t die, life goes on.
Rather, I focus on a word used in reference to me. Slut. A single word has so much power, doesn?t it? Not to hurt, not this time, but to bring back those unwanted memories from ages past. But who am I kidding? It hasn?t been ages, merely years or even one year. I can call them to mind easily, and do so now to see them played out before me on the smooth surface of that magic mirror rather than wait to see them when I close my eyes.
--
It was my last night home, the last night I would ever be able to call my own planet home. After that, it was just a place I would go to visit, the world I ran from to come to RhyDin.
I can see a young girl step into the dark room, an angelic smile on her face as she pads across the rich carpeted floor with sore feet. I know her feet are sore because of the way she walks and the ridiculous glass slippers she holds in her hand that are set down amongst her wardrobe. Those hurt like hell. I know because she is me and I was her, once. We look different, now. I covered my blue hair long ago and my waist has never been that tiny since I had my first daughter. She is still in me though, because I know I resurrect that smile, the pained yet satisfied walk, every time I spend a night dancing.
I watch on as a man enters attacks the young girl in her room, backhanding her across the face again and again until she is practically senseless on the floor. I can listen in as he calls her a slut or a useless whore because she had spurned him earlier, dancing her little heart away with any other man but him. Even though her face is bruised and her eyes are empty as he forces his will on her for the last time I know what she is feeling inside, I remember. She feels a pounding in her face as it swells from the blows, a faint metallic taste in her mouth from her broken lip. Her feet still ache but she doesn?t care as she borders on unconsciousness willingly to escape the night.
--
The mirror clears and I can see my face again. I?m stoic, uncaring in my mind but the magic mirror tells all by reflecting the tears in my eyes. It was a long time ago and that can?t hurt me now; but it does, words and all. I can trace my wrists where there were bruises the next morning and remember how my face was ruined for weeks.
--
I know this next scene, the setting more familiar to the woman I am now compared to the girl I used to be. It is downstairs, in the common room of the Red Dragon Inn, and I?m seated at the bar besides Quiet Populi. It is me this time, not some distant incomplete version of myself. I?m back in RhyDin for the first time in two years.
I know this night. It wasn?t so very long ago. Alex was with Lain somewhere, acting like a fool across the Inn with water-balloons or some other nonsense. The mirror can show me that, if I wish it too, but I want to see the bar. Past-me is just sitting there with Katherine serving drinks to everyone. I miss Kat. Quiet takes my hand; I don?t know why I let him. I can see the kind smile on my face now; I just wanted to be friends. I remember that now, I knew that then.
Alex didn?t know it. I can see the rage fresh on his face as he tears across the room at that other-Jewell that was me and Quiet. He says one word to her before all hell breaks loose in the Inn, ?Slut.?
I can turn away now, I don?t need to see anymore. This one is still too fresh in my mind. The magic mirror obeys my command and the image dissipates into my reflection once more, but I don?t look now to see what it may show. I already know that I?m crying.