It didn?t take me too long to realize that the RhyDin I was in was not my own.

It was Sunday morning. I woke up pretty groggy and cranky, having fallen asleep in my jeans and t-shirt reading a book the night before. My whole body hurt, and I was quick to ascertain why; normally, I sleep on a huge water-bed. It?s glorious! It?s like being embraced by my mother element. On Sunday, though, as I shifted around, I realized that my dear bed had been shamefully replaced! I felt around and found that I was on some little day-bed that was as hard as a rock. I pressed my hand into the lumpy pillow someone was passing off as a mattress. ?Mugh?? I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and looked about, wrinkling my nose at the flowery mess that passed for sheets and a quilt. Those were not my sheets. My family did not even own anything that ugly, not even for backup situations.

I sat up quickly, looking frantically around the room. ?I did fall asleep in my bed last night, didn?t I?? I questioned myself, trying to recreate the evening quickly in my brain. My friend Zipper and I had gone to watch some sword dueling before stopping at a local bar to hear this awesome electric violinist play. I got home just after midnight?only acceptable because it was a Saturday?and then crashed in bed, reading one of my favorite books (The Legends of the Warriors of Scathach) before passing out. In my own bed. In my own room.

I cast about with my eyes, noting that the room I was in was at least shaped like my room: same size and structure, with the one window overlooking the side-garden and the bay window that I have surrounded by well-stocked bookshelves at home. Even though the room would probably look the same on some architect?s blueprints, everything was different. There were bookshelves around the bay window, but they were covered in tacky knick-knacks. The lovely shades of blue and silver that swirl across my walls at home were gone; instead, it looked like pink threw up all over everything. I hate pink. To make everything worse, all my stuff was gone. I looked for my guitar, my trophy from the school?s cooking contest three months ago, my photographs. All gone.

Growling, I jumped out of bed, knocking a vase full of awful smelling potpourri from an ugly bed-side table. My parents had clearly gone too far this time, I thought. We all love a good joke, but they clearly must have drugged me or used magic on me to pull off something this big. I was not amused. I stomped across the floor and threw open the door before promptly stumbling backwards with a shout of surprise. The woman on the other side of the door, her hand extended as if to open it, mirrored my action with a scream of, ?Ah! Burglar!?

I had never seen this woman before in my life.

Groggy, bewildered, grumpy, and confused, I opened my mouth to give this strange woman?walking around in my parents? house in nothing but some frumpy old nightgown?a piece of my mind. Her awful voice screeched out, halting my upcoming tirade, ?HAROLD! Get the bat and call the Watch! One of those awful street kids has snuck into our house again.? She watched me warily, backing up a step or two and holding her hand protectively to her chest. ?You.. you just put anything you stole back where you found it and get out of my house! Don?t you go giving us any trouble.?

Her house? Now she had crossed the line. ?Listen lady. I don?t know who the hell you think you are but...? I had followed her into the hallway, pointing my finger menacingly at her, when I stopped short. Everything was different out there too. No family portraits on the walls; at least not ones with my blue-haired parents and me. No tastefully chosen rug on the floor. Horrid jungle patterned wallpaper instead of soothing tan walls. Everything was different there too. I stared at the woman, who had shrunk back in fear against the wall, and then turned my head as ?Harold? mounted the stairs, baseball bat in hand. My world tilted helter-skelter, and I ran for the back stairs, rushing down them and almost tripping on the cat that slumbered on the bottommost step. Mom doesn?t really care for cats. We don?t have a cat at home. I stopped and stared at it, uncomprehendingly. What was this animal doing in our house? Overcome with bewilderment, I threw open the kitchen door (not failing to notice the hideous green cabinets in that room) and spilled out into the backyard.

The lack of familiarity I felt with one of my favorite places made my head reel. The tacky lawn decorations, the vegetable garden in need of weeding, the garish flowers were all wrong. Wrong wrong wrong! Jumping the fence?the part iron metal mixture (definitely not a part of any house my mom and I live in) burning my hands?I started to run. I ran to Zipper?s house and banged on his door for twenty minutes until an elderly human man opened it, growling out, ?What do you want?? My hand fell to my side limply and I slowly backed away from his door wordlessly before turning and running again.

There was nowhere to go, though. All my favorite haunts and hangouts were gone. It was as if they had never existed. Even worse: the faces of the people I passed by in my neighborhood and the others I visited were all unfamiliar. No Mr. Clyde out walking his dog on Sunday morning. No donut-lady selling freshly fried donuts on the corner of Spritz and Fifth Street. Where was my mom? My dad? Where were my friends from the Outback and the Arena? Where was Zipper and my other classmates? I collapsed onto a bench in Dragon?s Gate, hyperventilating into my hands.

It was at that moment, when I felt panic starting to choke me, that I remembered a conversation with my mother.

?I just don?t get it, mama.? I nibbled on a carrot stick as I prepared dinner, my face tear-stained from some dramatic teenager ordeal. ?You deal with so much shit...?

?Don?t say shit.?

I continued on as if she hadn?t interrupted me, ?but you act so calm and collected. It?s like you almost don?t even care.?

She smiled so serenely at me. ?Darling, it?s something that just comes with time. You don?t think I was like you once, flying off the handle at the littlest provocation?? I shrugged a little in response, not really sure. ?Because I was. But as you mentioned, I have dealt with many incredibly stressful situations in life. It took me time, but I realized that the best way to deal with anything is to keep calm. Become unflappable. It allows you to think sharper, listen more carefully, and see clearer. Even if the world is falling apart around you, the best thing to do is just take a deep breath, smile, and take a look around before deciding what you are going to do next.?

I tried to follow her suggestion. I spent a few minutes getting full control over my breathing, practicing some techniques I was taught in a meditation class I took to help me focus more during fights. Deep breaths in, slow long breaths out. Over and over I did it until my pulse stopped racing and my mind stopped whirling. Only then did I open my eyes and take a look around. Immediately, I felt myself becoming overwhelmed by the strange familiarity of the city. I knew it, but I didn?t. As my heart started to speed up again, the blood pounding in my ears, I shut my eyes against the weirdness. I reminded myself: when mom said ?see more clearly,? she didn?t necessarily mean with my eyes. That?s not the only way to see things after all, especially not when you?re the daughter of Faerie.

Trying those breathing techniques once more, I calmed myself down to a reasonable degree before looking again. Only this time, I didn?t look with my eyes. Instead, a whole different version of the city sprung up around the other one: a city alive with magic and energy. I loved looking at RhyDin this way normally. The level of energy and life is just amazing. This time, though, there was something off about the city I know so well. I could see little aberrations here and there. Some popped up as I watched; others blipped in and out of existence. Desiring a closer look, I vacated my park bench and approached the nearest problem area; it was no bigger than a human man. I tried to look at it a little closer, probing at the irregularity with my senses but keeping my distance. When I realized what I was looking at, I gasped. The overlay collapsed into nothing as my eyes flew open wide with panic at what I had discovered.

?Oh shit.?

?Sorry I sort of shrugged you off and ran away earlier.? My mom apologizes once we?re seated at the restaurant she chose: a casual affair with fresh food and a lot of room between tables for privacy. I tried to act reluctant when she tracked me down and invited me out, but it was hard to play it cool. How many people get an opportunity to hang out with their mom when she was younger? I?m thinking like.. no one!

I shrug off her apology, feeling nearly as uncomfortable as she looks now that we?re actually here. It seemed like a cool idea, but I?m starting to have my doubts. I mean, the whole thing is totally wacky. ?I kind of get it, I guess. I mean.. this is weird, right??

She grins as she looks at me. Even though she doesn?t look too much different from my mom, I can tell that she?s younger. There?s a sadness in her eyes too, but she can still mask it when she tries. Mom can?t no matter what. ?Yes. Very weird, in fact. Also, it?s not normally a good idea to have direct contact with people from the past or future, but,? she looks at me quite closely, as if trying to discern something, ?you are not from my timeline. The realities are very similar in some ways, but still different enough.?

I knew I wasn?t from her timeline, but it?s weird to hear it said out loud. Even if she will never become my mom in the future, I feel comfortable enough to blurt out the concern that has been plaguing me for the last few days: ?So I?m not going to totally screw up my life by being here?? See, I listen in my Time Theories class, and I have heard totally awful things about people who mess up their lives (and everyone else?s) by meeting up with their past selves.

?No dear, I think you should be all right.? She says it in the same reassuring tones my mom speaks to me with when I?m having a problem. Even though she always laughs and says she was never meant to be a mom, my mother always knows the right things to say to me.

The fear wooshes out of me with a sigh, ?Oh good. I mean,? I try to play off my relief, ?I wasn?t really worried you know. I just.. well time travel and dimensional travel are very tricky things.?

?They are indeed.? She smiles at me. ?You seem to have handled yourself very well, all things considered.?

?Oh well,? I take hold of my glass of water to give my hands something to do, suddenly feeling nervous again. ?You trained me.. I mean, my mother and father trained me pretty well for this sort of stuff.?

Her brows knit together, ?Why have I trained you to be prepared for inter-dimensional and time travel??

I shake my head quickly with a nervous laugh, ?I didn?t mean this exactly. That would be way weird. I mean, we?ve discussed the theories at home and in class too. I just meant like... you prepare me to be ready for anything. Ever since I was little it was always train train train.? I tap my fingers on the table, my go-to nervous gesture. ?You had dad train me in hand-to-hand, though it took lots of convincing and bugging him on your part at first. Then you covered all the magic stuff. You both did weapons with me too. You even sent me to survival camp two summers ago to learn how to make a shelter out of a shoelace and dental floss.? I give Jewell an annoyed look at that; clearly I could have been doing something better that summer. ?You said I always have to be prepared for everything and anything, so I am.?

My mother?who I have decided to call Jewell to limit the ultra weirdness of this situation?turns a bit pale. She actually looks like she might be getting ill. She drinks half her glass of water before she?s able to speak. I wonder what I said that could possibly have affected her so. ?Sapphire.. I need to ask you something.? I nod and lean forward in concern, wanting to know what is on her mind. ?Are your siblings, your half-siblings from my previous relationships, are they...?

My eyebrows draw together as I sit back and frown at her. My mind is racing as I picture the room that is in our house back home; it?s a sacred place, walls hung with large portraits of the children who came before me. I look at her and I know why she asks me this question. The desperation in her eyes? It died out a long time ago in my mother?s eyes, replaced by that sadness that will never go away. ?I don?t think you should ask me that.?

?Please?? She begs me.

I bite at my lip, working my teeth back and forth across it before sighing. I can?t even look her in the eye when I answer against my better judgment, ?No. My siblings have never been freed. They?re still stuck, and we?re pretty sure they might always be.? When I look up at Jewell, she looks like she is about to burst into tears. What have I done? I have completely crushed this woman! My eyes widen and I rush out with, ?I?m sorry! Why did you make me say that? Why did you ask me that? I didn?t want to tell you!?

?No no no,? she reaches out and places her hand over one of mine. ?It?s okay, Sapphire. You?re right, I shouldn?t have asked you that. I?m sorry. That wasn?t fair. It?s just... I had to know.? She pauses for a minute, looking down at the tabletop before those swimming grey eyes look back up at me again. ?Can you tell me what happened to them? Why I couldn?t save them?? I shake my head mutely this time, not even trusting myself to open my mouth. If I do, I might tell her everything I know. I will not watch this version of my mother cry like mine does when she thinks no one is watching. ?No, you?re right again. I?m sorry.? She laughs humorlessly as she releases my hand. ?You know, Sapphire, you?re very smart. You were worried about screwing up your life, and I am certain that is unlikely to happen. But me asking you these questions? Well, I can certainly screw up my own.?

?How so?? I tilt my head inquisitively to the side, curious, confused, and concerned.

?Well, say you did tell me what happened with your siblings. With that foreknowledge, I could either try to make something happen or attempt to avoid it. In doing so, I could very well cause the very thing I was trying to avoid, or something much worse.? Jewell frowns, ?Does that make sense??

I nod a bit numbly. Oh mother of nature! This is even worse than I thought. If I open my mouth again, I could destroy this whole timeline and dimension. ?Wow. Maybe we shouldn?t be talking at all then?? I ask nervously but reluctantly. I don?t want to ruin anything, but I want to keep talking to this woman. This is the woman my mother once was. Maybe she would still be her if things happened differently. Maybe I can learn more about things that have happened in their shared past, things my mom won?t tell me about, things I?ve only puzzled together.

?No,? she shakes her head. ?I want to talk to you. We just need to be careful what we talk about.?

?Yeah, I guess we can do that.? I?m happy that she thinks it?s okay if we keep talking, but I?m still anxious about basically ruining her life.

She tries to direct the conversation elsewhere. ?So, are you very close with your mom??

I roll my eyes dramatically and groan out, ?Yes! Excruciatingly so.? I give an embarrassed smile when I remember who I am talking to and what I just said. ?No offense. It?s just.. mom can be a little clingy.? That?s a serious understatement. My mom gives me a lot of freedom, but she is very attached to me. That?s also an understatement. She tries not to, but my mom frets about my welfare all the time. She tries her hardest to give me room to grow and be my own person because she doesn?t want to smother me, but she still does. She?s overly protective and over-indulgent (not that I?m complaining about that second part).

She smiles, ?I?m sure you understand why that is though, right??

I nod slowly. Of course I understand. It was bad enough when I was little, but when my mom finally realized she was never getting my siblings back, she fell apart. I became one of her only reasons for living. I think she just goes through the motions half the time. Dad is always able to make her smile, though. I love that he tries so hard. ?Yeah. Of course. I know she misses Amanda and the others.? I shrug, trying to be casual about a subject that has dominated my entire life, ?It doesn?t make it any less annoying, though.? Jewell laughs, and I grin when I realize I haven?t offended her. It prompts me to be more honest with her: ?I mean, I miss them too. I never really got to meet them, but they?re still family. Mom?s told me all about them and everything, and I go and talk to them a lot.?

?That?s very sweet of you.?

I shrug the compliment off. What I said is true. My mom has told me all about my siblings until it feels like I really do know them. I memorized their favorite colors and toys. I can recite little anecdotes about each of them that reveal little glimmers of their personalities. I go and sit in the room with their portraits and talk to them about my day when I come home from school. When I was little, I used to bring my dolls into that room so I could play with my brothers and sisters. Mom taught me how to listen to their dreaming voices, and I used to like to play pretend and try and imagine what they would be like if they could talk to me. It?s hard to think about that, though, because sometimes I think that if they were alive.. well, maybe I wouldn?t exist. Mom would never have needed me then; she would never have wanted me.

I push those thoughts away to return to the conversation, ?Me and mom are fine. Dad too. He gets protective, but in a different way from mom. She always seems to act like I?m gonna up and die or maybe disappear. He thinks I?m gonna let some sleaze-bag touch me. They start to bicker about it, but they both hate seriously fighting with each other. So mom starts touching dad?s hair and..ugh, that?s when I leave the room and put my music on as loud as I can.?

Jewell gets this strange expression on her face, and I realize it must be odd to hear me talking about her relationship with my dad when they aren?t together in this time. She doesn?t say anything about it, though. She just shakes her head and redirects the conversation, which is fine by me. ?You mentioned classes? How are those??

I didn?t plan on it, but we end up talking for hours. Appetizers and entrees come and go while I tell her all about school and my love of music and cooking. We?re past dessert and finishing our coffee before we even begin to wind down with talk of boys and the few dates I?ve snuck off on. It seems so normal to talk with Jewell about these things. I?m pretty open with my mom, but she?s still my mom. Jewell feels more like a friend. It?s kind of nice. And what?s really awesome is that I get to see the side of my mom that her friends see, that the people of this city have caught glimpses of at times. It?s why they love her. I think I?m starting to understand how she came to become The Empress.

When we?re walking out the door and I?m thinking gloomily about returning to the Red Dragon Inn, she suddenly blurts out to me: ?You know, Sapphire, I didn?t mention it earlier today because I was just a tad freaked out about the whole thing, and I wasn?t sure how to go about it, but you can come and stay with me for however long this lasts. There?s plenty of room at the house, and you wouldn?t be in the way. It doesn?t feel right just to let you wander about the city either.?

I think about it for a moment. I had a really nice time with Jewell this evening. I spent all week hating being in this time, wracking my brain to think of a way to get home. And now? Things don?t seem quite as bad. I?m not sure how I feel about being around her a lot more, though. What if I say something and mess up her entire future? I give her a shake of my head, ?I don?t know.. Maybe if I end up stuck here for a while,? I push back any nervous thoughts at that as I tuck my blue hair behind my slightly pointed ears. ?But I promised Dionissa I?d be back hours ago, and she?s such a nervous little thing. I?d feel bad leaving her alone tonight.?

At this sentiment, she randomly throws her arms around me and gives me a tight, unexpected hug. ?You are a wonderful sister, Sapphire.? It takes a moment, but I return the embrace wholeheartedly.

this post.

The more I speak with my mother, the more I realize how difficult it is to be from the future. Even if my future is not exactly the same as the one that this dimension will eventually have, it?s probably very close. I have realized more and more that I cannot jeopardize that future, even in hopes of creating a better one or solving current problems, by opening my mouth about certain subjects. The day after I arrive at Jewell?s house, my resolve to keep my mouth shut is put to the test. As I?m showing my not-mother how to make my famous peanut butter chocolate topped cupcake, Jewell tells me that the Bhaalites killed some people at her party. With a lot of self-restraint, I simply express my concern for her, ?Wow. That?s awful. What are you going to do about it??

She rubs at her temple with the heel of her palm, fighting off a headache. Jewell looks terrible, like she hasn?t slept in days. ?I don?t know. I don?t know what there is to do. I mean, Issy?s spent years trying to track these people down, and we?re still pretty close to accomplishing nothing. At least that?s how it feels at times. So for now, we wait.?

I force my lips together. I will not say anything. I will not tell her that I may know some of the Bhaalites favorite locations to hide. I will not tell her that I may even know the public identities of some of Bhaal?s followers. I want to tell her these things. I want to tell her to spare TeeTee Issy pain, to spare my mother pain, to spare the city the death and destruction that this war against the Temple of Bhaal will continue to inflict upon them. I want to tell her everything not so I can play hero, but so none of them have to suffer what I know is in store for them. But I tell her nothing.

Something that has always been stressed in my Time Theory class is the importance of letting events happen, even if those events are horrible. If I were to tell Jewell something that could prevent someone?s death or maybe even end this war sooner rather than later, I could change everything! Other people might die instead. Everyone could die! Or everything could be bright, cheery, with rainbows and sunshine forever. There?s no knowing for sure, so the best thing to do is let events run their course. If I opened my mouth, I could forever change the course of history in this dimension. So, I keep it firmly shut.

One thing I notice that my professor forgot to mention is that keeping silent may be the hardest thing for anyone that has access to the time stream to do.

?Well, I hope you don?t think it?s your fault,? is all I can offer to Jewell as I turn to face her, bowl held in the crook of my left arm as my right hand works the wire-whisk vigorously.

She gives me a completely affected, sweet smile. ?Of course not, dear. That would be silly of me, wouldn?t it? I cannot control the actions of such monsters.?

Rolling my eyes, I turn to place the bowl back on the countertop with a shake of my head. ?Some things never change,? I explain to the smooth, creamy-colored batter. Jewell?s little snort of laughter has me turning back to where she sits, kicking her feet back and forth on one of the kitchen island stools. ?What??

?You?re just pretty funny, is all.? She replies with a more sincere smile.

?How so?? I ask, puzzled.

?You?ve just got me pegged, apparently. Seems I can?t fool anyone around here.?

I shrug. Of course I do. She?s my mother, after all. At least, she could be. ?Yeah well.. whatever.? I grasp for something else to talk about. I need to change the subject because, if we stay on this one, I may break down and tell her everything I shouldn?t. ?More important: who?d you go to this fancy dance with hmm??

I do know her well. Instantly, her posture becomes more relaxed and she gives me a genuine smile. ?No one, actually. I was hosting the whole gala, so I decided to go on my own.?

I laugh as I start spooning the thick batter into the little cupcake tray that I made Ishmerai go out and buy this morning. Or I should say: I asked if Jewell had one and she insisted that Ishmerai go get one along with a host of other cooking gear. If I?m going to be here a while, I can at least make sure everyone is well fed; my mother is way too thin in this time. ?Isn?t that just another way of saying that you couldn?t find anyone to go with you??

She scoffs. ?Nonsense, Sapphire. You must know that?s not true.? She tilts her chin up all proud-like; this is a side of my mother I do not usually see at home. She?s mostly keeps such shows to the public arena. She?s more real at home. ?I had plenty of offers. My hostess duties came first, unfortunately.?

?Uh-huh,? I send her a disbelieving look over my shoulder.

She pouts a little, ?It?s true! Besides, in Faerie, I rarely went escorted to parties and dances. All the easier to dance with each and every person I desired to. I couldn?t be tied down to one person. I had to please everyone. It?s not always about fun, you know.?

?Yeah yeah. Networking and all that stuff you?re so good at.? I roll my eyes. I?m social enough, but I haven?t quite inherited the social princess genes from my mother. Opening the oven, I slide the cupcakes inside and close it afterwards, turning to face Jewell once that?s done. ?So, if you could have gone with someone, who would it have been?? Yep, here?s my chance! I?ve been dying to know who my mom is interested in at this time since she?s not with my dad.

Jewell?s brow furrows a little as my question seems to require some thought and warrant a bit of hesitation. ?Well, I?m not really sure..?

?Not dad.. I mean Harris?? I press.

She actually laughs a little at that. ?No Sapphire. Maybe in another time and place, but I respect his relationship with Seirichi. Maybe if I things were different or I was different..? she pauses and shakes her head, ?but as things stand, I do not chase after men or seek to break up relationships. Therefore, Harris will just remain a friend. That is the way it has to be.?

I huff, placing my hands on the counter behind me and leaning back. I feel like there might be something wistful in her tone, as if maybe she wouldn?t mind being with my dad if the opportunity arose. I decide not to push her on it, though. What would be the point? ?Is there someone else then??

She sighs, looking away. I follow her gaze to the big windows in the breakfast room and the flowing river beyond the yard. It?s some time before she finally speaks up without looking back at me, ?No, Sapphire. I don?t think there?s anyone else for me. Not anymore.?

It?s the first time I realize how sad and lonely this version of my mother is.

?Sapphire, I am no longer alive in your world, am I??

I feel like someone punched me in the face at his question. How did I not see this coming? Naturally, I was too distracted by other things: Bhaalites running around, my mom?s love life (or lack thereof), the situation with my siblings, my mom?s physical condition, my own problems. Blindsided. I have been completely blindsided.

Dad always says I give my focus too much to what?s right in front of me, and that?s why I never see a blow coming from the side. He always asks me how many times I?m going to take a right hook to the face before I learn.

One more time, daddy. At least one more time.

I clear my throat and wonder how my mouth is so dry all of a sudden. ?Um..? I grasp for a way to answer. ?I?m not sure if I should discuss that with you?? It?s not meant to be a question, but I know I don?t speak with any conviction. ?You know.. the whole messing up the timeline thing and all.?

?My needs supersede your concerns, Sapphire. As a knight, I must protect your mother at all costs. Clearly, if I am no longer alive in your time, I cannot fulfill my sworn duty. I need to know why.?

I?m pretty sure there?s a hole in his logic somewhere. What was it Jewell said about knowledge changing a person?s actions and therefore the entire timeline? However, I don?t want to expose the kink in his reasoning because I dearly want to tell him what I know. Whereas I dreaded telling Jewell what had happened in Faerie and why my siblings will never be free, I feel like Ishmerai needs to know this. I am potentially messing with the timeline and the future of this dimension here, but maybe things don?t need to end up the way they have in my life. There?s a chance sharing this information could help me figure out my own messed up history too. With a little hesitation, I move across the room and take a seat at the kitchen island with him. ?In my world, Ishmerai, you died a very long time ago.?

?Tell me what happened.? He commands in a steady voice.

And I do. I tell him everything I know, everything I?ve overheard and pieced together on my own, and everything I?ve ever guessed at.

The kitchen is dead silent when I?m done with my story. I wish I could get a better read on Ishmerai. I can?t tell if he?s furious at what he has heard or maybe terrified. Should I get the garbage can in case he vomits? I would! I mean, I did just describe a pretty awful death for him. I?d be totally freaked! I swallow hard when the silence between us stretches on into minutes. ?So.. now that you know, you guys can?t go to Faerie. You just can?t! Do whatever you have to, but keep her here. Don?t go back there. It?s just not worth it. You?ll die and she won?t get the kids back. So just keep her here.? I blurt it out, the words having built up inside of me. I guess this is the real reason I wanted to tell Ishmerai my story: I can?t change what happened at home, but maybe my mother can have a better future here if Ishmerai stays alive.

Finally he smiles at me. He looks so sad, but he speaks so bravely. ?I thank you for your concern, Sapphire, and I thank you for sharing your story with me. I am very sorry that you had to endure such trials at such a young age.?

I shake my head. He clearly didn?t get it. ?You can?t go to Faerie, Ishmerai. That?s why I told you. She needs you! If you go, she?ll lose you. And then she?ll really have nothing cause she doesn?t even have dad and me here. You have to stay alive for her, so you have to stay here!? I stomp my foot on the lower rung of the stool for emphasis.

?I am afraid that is not up to me. If my lady decides to go to Faerie, then I will follow her.?

I slap my palms on the marble countertop. ?But you?ll die!?

He shakes his head slowly, ?You do not know that for sure. Perhaps it was unwise to hear what you had to share, Sapphire, but I am grateful all the same. You see, now that I know what potentially awaits us in Faerie, I shall be on my guard.?

?Shit!? It just slides right out without thinking. At least I have the decency to blush and look apologetic. ?Sorry, it?s just.. I mean, I wanted to tell you but I didn?t want to go eff with the whole timeline. And now I did!? Naturally, it?s a lie. I obviously wanted to change the timeline, but what I really wanted was for Ishmerai to promise never to return to Faerie. I want them both to stay in the dubious safety of RhyDin. It means giving up the chance of ever getting my siblings back, but there?s really no chance of that anyways.

?But Sapphire, that is exactly what you wanted to do when you requested that we not go to Faerie.?

Caught red handed, I just frown a little.

?Do not worry, child. I realize what this knowledge can mean, and I will use it as wisely as I know how. You must realize, though, why I needed to know.? I raise my brows at him because, at this point, I?m miserable. My plan has failed, so what was the point? I should have just kept my mouth shut. ?Sapphire, you do not exist in this time. Jewell is not with your father. She is not with anyone. In your timeline, you and your father are what keep her anchored. Without that anchor here, I am afraid she will act even more heedlessly than she has done in your past. If she does so, there is no telling what grief will come upon her.?

My brows knit together. ?Wait.. I don?t think I get what you?re saying.?

?From what you told me, Sapphire, your mother waited for some time before attempting to return to Faerie.? He explained patiently and slowly to me without being condescending. ?Her rare display of caution may have actually worked against her. By delaying her return to Faerie, she may have given Muirenn just enough time to prepare for us. Perhaps, due to my advance knowledge now, we do not give Lady Muirenn such time??

I rub my forehead, ?Wait. What? So you?re going to go to Faerie anyways??

?That is inevitable. It is clear that nothing I could ever say or do will be able to keep her here. Your story is proof of that. Even a child she loves as much as she loves you was unable to keep her from returning to Faerie.?

?So everything I told you was pointless then.?

?Hardly, my dear.? He says consolingly and with a conspirator?s smile. ?With your well-timed warning, I can prepare us both for our venture into Faerie and will use more caution than I previously thought necessary. I will keep better watch on the events unfolding in Faerie as we speak. Muirenn will not catch us unaware. And even though you may not be here, I make a promise to you now that I shall return her to you alive and well.?

I smile a little, ?And you, Ishmerai? What about yourself? I don?t know what she?d do without you in this time. It was bad enough even with me and dad to keep her going.?

?I will do my best never to leave my lady?s side until she requests it of me.?