Topic: The Shrines We Build for the Unforgotten

JewellRavenlock

Date: 2013-08-26 15:38 EST
There is a room in my new house which is sacred to me. The former occupants apparently used it as a study; it actually took Ishmerai and I the better part of a day to sort through the books and papers they left behind. This room is not my study. Not now at least. I look forward to a time in the future when it can be, when its current purpose will become obsolete and I can fill it with books, a desk, and other scholarly things. I do not set my heart upon such a time, however, because only I know of the disappointments of the past.

For now, the room is a shrine.

The walls are painted a deep purple; the woman at the store called it ?eggplant?. There are many pillows in a variety of complimentary colors scattered across the floor: for kneeling, for sitting, for screaming into when even tears do not suffice. There are sconces on the wall for holding candles, set in-between blank spaces that will soon be filled. There are thick curtains over the window that looks upon the river. It is a dark room. It is a quiet room. It is a hallowed place.

Tomorrow, I will fill those blank spaces on the walls, for tomorrow I am bringing my children home at last.

JewellRavenlock

Date: 2013-08-28 09:49 EST
I am in the woods at dawn, waiting anxiously in the lightening darkness. Even my powerless, defenseless body that causes a constant fear to reside in my stomach cannot keep me from the woods. There is a natural circle of rocks in the forest south of RhyDin city, the steadiest naturally occurring access point to our part of Faerie that Ishmerai and I have found. Neither of us are very good at breaking through the Veil, at least not in magically charged RhyDin. Even in other places, it can still be difficult and dangerous if not done right. Woe to those who do not seal such a portal correctly behind them, leaving cracks that others can expose. Unsavory creatures live in the places in between worlds, preying on unwary travelers. Ishmerai is not unwary. I trust him more than I trust myself, really. He is the only one I can trust with this task of brining my children to me, so I wait for him and them with an impatience and anticipation I don?t often know these days.

Ishmerai said he didn?t think they would possibly arrive before noon, so I pace along as the hours crawl. I pace besides, around, and near the circle of rocks until noon passes and the afternoon starts to fade. I will wait forever if I have to. I will go after him if need be. Fortunately, neither is necessary. As the late afternoon sun slants through the trees, making the dust particles dance in the air in front of me, I can feel the tingle of magic?magic that is still out of my reach yet my mind is naturally drawn to it, reaching out for what it cannot have?and my heart begins to race. Sweat slicks my palms. This is it.

Three silhouettes are illuminated within the circle, a large crate resting on the ground amidst them. Then the intense light from the other side, from Faerie, fades, leaving me to face three men who are very familiar to me, the foremost being Ishmerai. It is Ishmerai who I practically attack before he has even fully stepped out of the circle; my dear friends will just have to wait. ?Do you have them? Did everything go according to plan? You don?t think anything went wrong, do you??

Ishmerai?s deep laughter at my exuberance calms my trouble heart. He would never laugh if something had gone amiss. ?Yes, my dear lady. They are safe and sound. I have not failed you yet. Nothing went wrong on the other side or as we crossed. As always, I have acted with the utmost discretion as well. Lady Muirenn is not aware of our activities. I must also add that your grandmother sends her regards and was pleased to hear the positive account of your health and well-being.?

This latter message I have little time for, although it is nice to know that my grandmother cares. ?Can we open it now?? I ask, eagerly eyeing the large crate that the other two men guard silently.

?No, I think it would be best if we waited.?

I sigh, disappointed yet knowing Ishmerai is right as always. I brush away my momentary burst of despondency to greet the two other members of the envoy. ?Custos, Praeses! How good it is to see you before me again!?

It is easy to forget about courtly life in RhyDin, but the two soldiers of my grandmother?s household bow. They are very much alike in looks even though they are only friends, not brothers. Both men fall short of matching me in height and are of much stockier build, much like that of a dwarf. They are beardless, though they wear their dark hair long and clasped with silver at their backs. Their kind is considered short, unsightly, and graceless by the gentry, but they are hearty and loyal warriors that I personally value greatly. Praeses, the slightly taller of the two, speaks up first, ?M?lady Kas.. Jewell,? he bows is head in apology. ?It gladdens both our hearts to see you.?

I laugh lightly at this display of deference. ?Come now, my friends, do not stand on ceremony with me.? And stepping forward, I hug them both. ?We have been through too much for such deeds, and here you have done me another great service by aiding Ishmerai in my need.?

They both return my hug, but there is still a stiffness there that might not have once been if I had not been heir. If my abilities had not be bound. If I had not forsaken my position. Custos corrects me, ?Our lives are dedicated to Lady Nerissa and the true heir to the Ta-Neer throne, Lady Jewell. It will always be our honor to serve her in any way.?

I laugh once more, but it is affected. How easily I can put on my more courtly manners even in the brusque environment of RhyDin. ?Yes, well.. perhaps we can continue on before speaking further? There is much I would like to share with you both but...?

?No excuses are needed, Lady. We know what precious cargo is in our keeping and how eager you must be.? I smile my thanks, my gratitude for these two fine Fae truly inexpressible; they have returned my life to me. There will never be a way to repay that. I let Ishmerai take the lead while Praeses and Custos share the burden of the crate; I bring up the rear guard. I even manage to listen in on some of the on-going conversation: an accounting of recent events in the Ta-Neer lands, a brief and guarded explanation of what strange place the soldiers have found their Lady in, a friendly warning about the abundance of iron, and so forth. I leave the conversing up to Ishmerai, however, and fail miserably as a rear guard. My eyes never once leave that crate.

JewellRavenlock

Date: 2013-08-28 09:49 EST
My friends?former companions through many forays?are awed by the city of RhyDin as Ishmerai leads us through. They have not spent extended time outside of Faerie, so their wonder is understandable. I promise myself to thank them later for the restraint they show and the pace they keep; we do not stop once until we reach Old Market and my house.

Not a word is spoken by anyone else as I direct them up the stairs and they place the crate down gently in the little room that adjoins my bedroom. The two men leave without being asked. Ishmerai first opens the crate for me, touches my shoulder, and then leaves me alone to weep.

And I do. As I free my children from the crate, but remain unable to free them from the portraits in which they are trapped, I weep freely. I kiss their painted faces and stroke their textured cheeks. Nothing in RhyDin has distracted me from missing them. Instead, as I have walked these streets that we once walked together, I have found their loss harder to bear. Even after close to two-hundred years of mourning, my grief has not abated.

I lean their portraits against the walls from which they will hang and continue to cry as they are untouchable, unreachable. Then I must do my duty by them. I labor under the weight of both the portraits and my sorrow as I hang them each on a wall: Kerrick and Devyn to my left; Eva Jade, Raven, and Oz to my right; Amanda and Moradin straight before me.

When I am done, I kneel upon the pillows that cover the floor, hiding my face in my hands as I cry in shame. I am free to do so because my children are not. It is only in these darkest moments when I acknowledge that they may never be.