No one could see me
I fell into yesterday.
Our dreams seemed not far away
I want to, I want to, I want to stay.
I fell into fantasy
Days of the Phoenix?AFI
Standing unsteadily, while drawing strength from the nearby water, Jewell clothed herself in glamour. It was a tight illusion, allowing people to see right through her. They would see nothing, for she had become nothing. That done, she left the brave volunteers to battle the raging flames of the collapsing building as she took off towards the city, only stumbling every other step at first; she could hide herself and the damage her body had undergone during the night, but she could still feel each burn, each cut, each scrape with each and every step.
She was not directionless as she walked. There was just one task she had to see to, one matter to set right before the night was through, recalled to mind by the memory of a dream-kiss placed on her cheek and the only treasure she had managed to save, clasped tightly in her hand even now. The Docks were not far from her home, but the distance was made longer by her need to avoid the WestEnd. She could not risk the chance of her magic failing, exposing her to the world. She didn?t need to be seen.
Her last walk through RhyDin was not what she would have wanted. She loved RhyDin best in the summer. Certainly, the heat produced a stink like no other, but the refreshing rain washed it all away and left the city looking clean and crisp for a few hours, steam rising off the hot paving stones as if it had all been freshly pressed. If she couldn?t have that, then she wanted deep winter, where for a time the unspoiled snow made the streets look clean, virginal, untouched by the darkness that lurked in RhyDin?s shadows and alleyways. The light and decorations cast a magic around the magical city that could not be reproduced anywhere, giving even the dark shadows a soft, sweet glow.
Instead, she had the fag-end of fall, when the trees were bare?sighing mournfully in the cold wind?and the streets were filled with their dirty, decaying leaves; there wasn?t even a satisfying crunch and crinkle to them anymore. She stepped past one pile of mushy leaves, marveling for a moment how each one had left its mark on the white paving stones: brown, star-shaped, looking for all the world like burns in the ground, the remnants of autumn lingering as winter came. Jewell wondered momentarily if she had left any such mark on RhyDin to be remembered by.
No, her final walk through the streets of RhyDin at night was not what she might wish it to be. The city was as alive as ever, beating with its own pulse, and ever more so as the hour grew late and the people of the city turned out in their own peculiar styles. The city was as alive as ever, but she was no longer part of it. It all should have been familiar but it no longer was. It all seemed strange now, and she a stranger to it. Jewell was apart, alone, a specter in the city of the living. She could no longer take part.
As she walked, the enormity of what she was doing, of what had been done and what she would have to do, slowly crept up on her. Memories lingered at every corner, in every storefront, taunting her with what she was going to have to leave behind.
Jewell passed an ice cream store, closed now until the spring, and saw herself seated with Skid at one of the few white, wrought iron tables that were set out on the wide sidewalk during nicer weather. They were sharing an enormous bowl of ice cream?more than enough for five people, perhaps?that they were polishing off between spritely conversations. Meanwhile, her children played a game of tag with his son Teshid in the street nearby.
?We would make devilishly handsome kids together, Skidling,? that Jewell remarked to her friend with a dreamy sigh as they watched the children run about, laughing.
?They?d be too beautiful for RhyDin, unfortunately.?
?Too true,? she agreed, grinning.
Jewell shook her head and moved on. A while later, she paused outside Yotsuba?s Cake Shoppe in the Marketplace, uncaring that people could easily jostle her invisible form in the still busy area. She remembered how happy Brian and Jen had been there together, living above the shop. After all the women she had seen her brother with, he had finally met his true match. She was genuinely happy for him, but she felt a pang in her own heart: she had found her own match but had turned her back on him.
When Jewell finally moved on, after staring at the Cake Shoppe for far too long, a couple walking arm-in-arm almost bumped unknowingly into her. She pressed herself against a wall and watched them move by. They were quiet as they walked but comfortable enough in each other?s company to be so. Jewell could almost see her face and that of Alex?s superimposed over theirs. The man was indeed much taller than the slight woman curled up at his side, just as she and Alex had been together. Always quiet, never communicating enough but still trying to make things work, still in love.
Eyes stinging, Jewell moved quickly from the area around the Marketplace. The wind whipped at her insufficiently clothed form, howling through the canyons created by the city buildings, the cold slowly seeping down into her very bones. She contemplated joining a long line of people waiting outside a coffee shop to gain entrance. The Town Grind brewed some of the strongest stuff in the city. She wished momentarily that she was with Issy. They had visited the shop numerous times together, drinking down the coffee fast between bits of conversation before they headed out into the West End.
?We?re sure lucky you saved Bahzel from that robber last month, otherwise we?d be stuck in line like the rest of them, Is.? Jewell remembered remarking to the Judge.
?Justice does have its perks, J.?
Jewell had taken a sip of coffee; it had been simply delicious, and it warmed the soul. ?That it does.?
Resisting the urge and need for coffee now, Jewell slipped down an alleyway and continued moving onwards. A few blocks down and over from the Town Grind was a restaurant where she and Stephen had eaten once. A few couples currently braved the cold, sitting outside under large gas heaters and enjoying a candlelit dinner together. Even with the candlelight, the shadows obscured their faces from the Faerie, and she could pretend for a moment it was a summer?s evening lost to the past and she and the pirate captain sat across from each other, sharing the shy smiles of new love.
Despite passing many such familiar places, Jewell had to avoid the Inn completely. She refused to take a small detour in that direction. There were far too many memories attached to the place on top of the risk of being spotted. There were nights in room seven with Skyler, winning the Talon in Arena below, sitting comfortably beneath the protective weight of Tass?s arm around her shoulders, sitting at the bar enjoying endless antics with Tara and Amthy, and night after years of nights spent in the joyous company of many friends.
No, she avoided the Inn like the plague. She could afford no such distraction tonight.