((Events take place on the morning of Saturday, March 31, 2007. Adapted from live play, thanks much to Jordan-mun!))
The morning had started out so well. She?d awoken to kisses against the bare skin of her shoulder, and a warm body curled about hers. Jordan?s warm body, to be exact. His lips pressing those feather light kisses against her shoulder. Some quiet chitchat, shared sentiments about mornings murmured back and forth. For the longest time, Cassie hadn?t been the type to enjoy cuddling and snuggling under the covers. Whether directly following sex or just on its own. But these days, Cassie was beginning to appreciate and enjoy the closeness, the quiet intimacy, that canoodling provided.
He?d started to tell her something. Something about glowing. That she glowed. Then he?d stammered around the point a bit, even blushed. Cassie couldn?t figure out what it was that would make Jordan Knox blush! ?I got you something. I, ah, I put it in the bathroom for you..? The first thing that came to Cassie?s mind was something along the lines of lingerie. But she couldn?t imagine why he would be blushing about it, and why it would come up at this particular moment. ?It?s an Eee-Pee-Tee.?
?Excuse me?? A blink. And then another one. The rest of her had frozen. He?d gone on to explain what an EPT was, but she?d cut him off, ?I know what it is, Jordan.? Her voice shaky, at first. Then she?d gone on to deny that it was needed. Uh uh, nope, absolutely not. She was on birth control. Cassie was master of denial. Jordan was touching her face lightly, but she didn?t notice. Not in the rush of panic, the way her mind was racing too quickly, jumping from here to here. Myriad thoughts skittered through her mind: her mother?s death, who the father might be, what she could do, who she would tell. No one thought was entertained long enough to be completed before another rushed in to take its place.
"Cassandra," fingertip became a whole hand, and he cradled her cheek into his palm as he pressed his forehead lightly to hers. His eyes were closed while he raked his tongue swiftly across his lips. He had to convince her. She had to at least humor him. "Baby, please. I've-- I've got a bad feeling about it, you know? Too many things add up to that. Will you try it? Take the test, please?" Inches-to-inches, eye-to-eye.
Her own eyes squinched shut. Oh this was not happening. This was so not happening. And she was going to open her eyes, and wake up from the nightmare. Because for Cassandra, that's what this was. A nightmare. She was starting to breathe a little faster now, the panic clawing its way back up from where she'd managed to tamp it back down. A little whimper finally slid past her lips. "I can't." Cassandra also couldn't look him in the eye right then. It was cowardly and she knew it, but she didn't feel like she could get out of the bed at that moment, much less go to the bathroom and pee on a stick when she just wanted to wake up and find that it was all gone.
But that wouldn't be an option. Jordan had seen nightmares. He had lived through quite a few. This was one of many, true, but not one of the easiest physical burden to bear. She wouldn't look him in the eye, so he nuzzled his brow against the side of her face over her cheek before reaching his head back and kissing her so-softly. "I know, baby, but you need to. You need to know, you know? And--" his lip, unusually plump for a male's, full and kissable, was tucked up between his teeth. "--and I'm here for you. No matter what."
There was no notice of the nuzzling, no return of the kiss. She was frozen, tense, trying to keep the panic down, trying to convince herself that he was right. That she needed to know. Oh hell no. She didn?t want to know! She wanted to reverse time to five minutes earlier. Finally she forced herself to move, turning over onto her stomach, pushing herself up into a kneeling position on the bed. She was naked, but she didn't care. Never had before, and she didn't even really notice now. Had to stop being a coward.. "Mmkay.." That was it. She couldn't say anymore as she slipped off the bed and padded towards the bathroom on bare feet. No saucy look over her shoulder, no extra swing in that walk. She shut the door behind her, and clicked the lights on, and that cursed test drew her attention.
He didn't care either, just for the record. He actually rather liked Cassandra naked. She had a rather likeable body, actually, that he could appreciate watching for hours on end. Especially the way the color of her skin worked with her hair. And the teeny little iddy biddy platinum-white invisi-hairs over her back, so spread out and thin. Like the muscles on her thighs, flexed when she rose to kneel first, to-- ooookay, come back to reality, Jordan. He slipped off the bed, too, every bit as naked as she was, though he wouldn't have considered himself quite so glorious when without clothes. She had vanished off into the bathroom, so he spent a few minutes looking for something to wear. His own clothes were ignored, yes, in favor of finding a pair of sweat pants of his that Cassie stole one night after some romping, when they couldn't find her own pants somewhere in his pad. Ah, young lovers. Dragging the elastic band up over his waist, he moved over to the bathroom door and leaned against the frame, waiting.
It had taken her a few moments to actually touch the box. And a few more to open it up and pull the test and instructions out. A quick skim of them, it wouldn't do to fuck up the test after all. She drank some water. She fiddled around and drank some more water. Things were straightened, until finally she felt like she could actually do what needed to be done. Then she sat down to wait. Three minutes. Three torturous minutes. Watching the clock was torture, but not watching it was as well. So her gaze flickered around from the clock to various other things in the bathroom. Finally, the second hand completed its third trip around the numbers, and she scooted over to check the results. The next thing Jordan would be able to hear would be the sound of retching. Her stomach had cramped so violently that she'd dropped to her knees in front of the toilet and puked. Not morning sickness. Just fear,
emotion in general.
Two lines of fucking Easter egg pink.
Just think, it was so pretty, too! As soon as he heard the sounds of her sicking up, he immediately jerked the knob of the door around in a quick twist -- seems she had neglected to lock it -- and barged on in. He was over her, then, upon her, with the press of his legs felt on her back and his fingers in an instant curling over her hair to pull it back away from her face. He had known, of course, what the outcome of the test was going to be. He had felt it himself; he just needed a way to tell her. Well, at least now maybe she wouldn't live so hard. Maybe. He wasn't going to tell her how to live or anything, and if she was dead-set on tequila night, then by god they'd have tequila. But maybe she'd think about it, first. "It's okay, Cassandra, just let it out. I'm here for you, it's okay," came murmured, crooning show of support. Once the thick purple mop of her hair was captured up above her skull in one hand, he clasped her shoulder with his other, and rubbed down onto the top of her back as comfortingly as he possibly could manage.
And she'd probably never want to see pink again. Especially not in that particular sequence of arrangement. She had neglected to lock it. She rarely had to lock it in the first place, and so it hadn't occurred to her to do so now. And if she though about it, she would have been grateful that she hadn't. While it wasn?t a conscious thought then, later, she appreciate him being there, holding her hair, stroking her comfortingly. His hands were cool, soothing against her skin. She continued to have dry heaves for a few minutes after her stomach emptied itself, and finally her stomach stopped twisting in knots. A sigh, before she grabbed a handful of toilet paper to clean up her face with, then flushed. A lean back, against his legs. When she finally spoke, it was quiet, and thick with despair. "I don't know what to do.."
"Whatever you decide," said he, with a hint of mild emphasis. It was, after her, her body. Entirely her decision. "I'm here for you. You know that, right?" Yeah, she was still naked, but it wasn't a thing of arousal for him this time. Even Jordan found it hard to find someone sexy after they just finished puking their guts up of everything they ate for the past twenty years, or nearly so that. Plus he was fairly confident that, now, sexual rompage would be one of the last things on her mind. He crouched behind her, dropping into a squat, his knees clutching against her on either side of her body. First he snaked one arm around her, underneath her arm, holding her tightly against him. His other was upon her shoulder and up, curling and uncurling through her hair as he kissed the space just in front of her ear softly. God, he thought, it could be mine. He kissed her again. "I'm here for you."
She didn't notice the nakedness. Hers nor his. She was basically oblivious to most everything at the moment. She was definitely not looking for any sex, at the moment. Later, her panic might translate to sex, but right now, she was numb. Just numb. She was hardly even hearing the words he was saying. It was his voice more than anything he said that pierced through the fog. She sagged back against him when he folded himself around her, all of her remaining energy seeping out of her. That trembling had come back, and was more a full blown shake now. She felt cowardly. Knew she was being cowardly. But couldn't quite get a grip on the panic. Couldn't tamp it down and think or speak. She just nodded at the repetition of reassurance. Really, what could she say? It's not like it was 100% his. She didn't know who the father was.. Couldn't know.
And he wasn't skilled enough in the Life Sphere to find out. He could have probably aborted it for her, though, although his method for doing that would have likely led to a fair degree of internal bleeding. Not to mention it would be stone-cold and fucking brutal. Translocate the baby's heart out of its little body, and her own body would reabsorb the rest. Stone-cold. He wasn't even sure he could do it, and Ave would probably never forgive him if he did. So he just did the only thing he could. He held onto her, rocking back and forth and crooning softly here or there, closing his eyes. And, so softly, almost impossible to hear, Jordan sang to her.
She would never ask him to do such a thing, either. If she were to have an abortion, it would be in a doctor's office, and she'd go by herself. Be easy enough to grab a coach back to her place, and she wouldn't burden anyone with the task of going with her. Even if she could put it on another person, she wouldn't be able to share it. Cassie was bad enough at sharing minor emotions and problems. This.. This was major. Cass clung to him, and she cried.
The morning had started out so well. She?d awoken to kisses against the bare skin of her shoulder, and a warm body curled about hers. Jordan?s warm body, to be exact. His lips pressing those feather light kisses against her shoulder. Some quiet chitchat, shared sentiments about mornings murmured back and forth. For the longest time, Cassie hadn?t been the type to enjoy cuddling and snuggling under the covers. Whether directly following sex or just on its own. But these days, Cassie was beginning to appreciate and enjoy the closeness, the quiet intimacy, that canoodling provided.
He?d started to tell her something. Something about glowing. That she glowed. Then he?d stammered around the point a bit, even blushed. Cassie couldn?t figure out what it was that would make Jordan Knox blush! ?I got you something. I, ah, I put it in the bathroom for you..? The first thing that came to Cassie?s mind was something along the lines of lingerie. But she couldn?t imagine why he would be blushing about it, and why it would come up at this particular moment. ?It?s an Eee-Pee-Tee.?
?Excuse me?? A blink. And then another one. The rest of her had frozen. He?d gone on to explain what an EPT was, but she?d cut him off, ?I know what it is, Jordan.? Her voice shaky, at first. Then she?d gone on to deny that it was needed. Uh uh, nope, absolutely not. She was on birth control. Cassie was master of denial. Jordan was touching her face lightly, but she didn?t notice. Not in the rush of panic, the way her mind was racing too quickly, jumping from here to here. Myriad thoughts skittered through her mind: her mother?s death, who the father might be, what she could do, who she would tell. No one thought was entertained long enough to be completed before another rushed in to take its place.
"Cassandra," fingertip became a whole hand, and he cradled her cheek into his palm as he pressed his forehead lightly to hers. His eyes were closed while he raked his tongue swiftly across his lips. He had to convince her. She had to at least humor him. "Baby, please. I've-- I've got a bad feeling about it, you know? Too many things add up to that. Will you try it? Take the test, please?" Inches-to-inches, eye-to-eye.
Her own eyes squinched shut. Oh this was not happening. This was so not happening. And she was going to open her eyes, and wake up from the nightmare. Because for Cassandra, that's what this was. A nightmare. She was starting to breathe a little faster now, the panic clawing its way back up from where she'd managed to tamp it back down. A little whimper finally slid past her lips. "I can't." Cassandra also couldn't look him in the eye right then. It was cowardly and she knew it, but she didn't feel like she could get out of the bed at that moment, much less go to the bathroom and pee on a stick when she just wanted to wake up and find that it was all gone.
But that wouldn't be an option. Jordan had seen nightmares. He had lived through quite a few. This was one of many, true, but not one of the easiest physical burden to bear. She wouldn't look him in the eye, so he nuzzled his brow against the side of her face over her cheek before reaching his head back and kissing her so-softly. "I know, baby, but you need to. You need to know, you know? And--" his lip, unusually plump for a male's, full and kissable, was tucked up between his teeth. "--and I'm here for you. No matter what."
There was no notice of the nuzzling, no return of the kiss. She was frozen, tense, trying to keep the panic down, trying to convince herself that he was right. That she needed to know. Oh hell no. She didn?t want to know! She wanted to reverse time to five minutes earlier. Finally she forced herself to move, turning over onto her stomach, pushing herself up into a kneeling position on the bed. She was naked, but she didn't care. Never had before, and she didn't even really notice now. Had to stop being a coward.. "Mmkay.." That was it. She couldn't say anymore as she slipped off the bed and padded towards the bathroom on bare feet. No saucy look over her shoulder, no extra swing in that walk. She shut the door behind her, and clicked the lights on, and that cursed test drew her attention.
He didn't care either, just for the record. He actually rather liked Cassandra naked. She had a rather likeable body, actually, that he could appreciate watching for hours on end. Especially the way the color of her skin worked with her hair. And the teeny little iddy biddy platinum-white invisi-hairs over her back, so spread out and thin. Like the muscles on her thighs, flexed when she rose to kneel first, to-- ooookay, come back to reality, Jordan. He slipped off the bed, too, every bit as naked as she was, though he wouldn't have considered himself quite so glorious when without clothes. She had vanished off into the bathroom, so he spent a few minutes looking for something to wear. His own clothes were ignored, yes, in favor of finding a pair of sweat pants of his that Cassie stole one night after some romping, when they couldn't find her own pants somewhere in his pad. Ah, young lovers. Dragging the elastic band up over his waist, he moved over to the bathroom door and leaned against the frame, waiting.
It had taken her a few moments to actually touch the box. And a few more to open it up and pull the test and instructions out. A quick skim of them, it wouldn't do to fuck up the test after all. She drank some water. She fiddled around and drank some more water. Things were straightened, until finally she felt like she could actually do what needed to be done. Then she sat down to wait. Three minutes. Three torturous minutes. Watching the clock was torture, but not watching it was as well. So her gaze flickered around from the clock to various other things in the bathroom. Finally, the second hand completed its third trip around the numbers, and she scooted over to check the results. The next thing Jordan would be able to hear would be the sound of retching. Her stomach had cramped so violently that she'd dropped to her knees in front of the toilet and puked. Not morning sickness. Just fear,
emotion in general.
Two lines of fucking Easter egg pink.
Just think, it was so pretty, too! As soon as he heard the sounds of her sicking up, he immediately jerked the knob of the door around in a quick twist -- seems she had neglected to lock it -- and barged on in. He was over her, then, upon her, with the press of his legs felt on her back and his fingers in an instant curling over her hair to pull it back away from her face. He had known, of course, what the outcome of the test was going to be. He had felt it himself; he just needed a way to tell her. Well, at least now maybe she wouldn't live so hard. Maybe. He wasn't going to tell her how to live or anything, and if she was dead-set on tequila night, then by god they'd have tequila. But maybe she'd think about it, first. "It's okay, Cassandra, just let it out. I'm here for you, it's okay," came murmured, crooning show of support. Once the thick purple mop of her hair was captured up above her skull in one hand, he clasped her shoulder with his other, and rubbed down onto the top of her back as comfortingly as he possibly could manage.
And she'd probably never want to see pink again. Especially not in that particular sequence of arrangement. She had neglected to lock it. She rarely had to lock it in the first place, and so it hadn't occurred to her to do so now. And if she though about it, she would have been grateful that she hadn't. While it wasn?t a conscious thought then, later, she appreciate him being there, holding her hair, stroking her comfortingly. His hands were cool, soothing against her skin. She continued to have dry heaves for a few minutes after her stomach emptied itself, and finally her stomach stopped twisting in knots. A sigh, before she grabbed a handful of toilet paper to clean up her face with, then flushed. A lean back, against his legs. When she finally spoke, it was quiet, and thick with despair. "I don't know what to do.."
"Whatever you decide," said he, with a hint of mild emphasis. It was, after her, her body. Entirely her decision. "I'm here for you. You know that, right?" Yeah, she was still naked, but it wasn't a thing of arousal for him this time. Even Jordan found it hard to find someone sexy after they just finished puking their guts up of everything they ate for the past twenty years, or nearly so that. Plus he was fairly confident that, now, sexual rompage would be one of the last things on her mind. He crouched behind her, dropping into a squat, his knees clutching against her on either side of her body. First he snaked one arm around her, underneath her arm, holding her tightly against him. His other was upon her shoulder and up, curling and uncurling through her hair as he kissed the space just in front of her ear softly. God, he thought, it could be mine. He kissed her again. "I'm here for you."
She didn't notice the nakedness. Hers nor his. She was basically oblivious to most everything at the moment. She was definitely not looking for any sex, at the moment. Later, her panic might translate to sex, but right now, she was numb. Just numb. She was hardly even hearing the words he was saying. It was his voice more than anything he said that pierced through the fog. She sagged back against him when he folded himself around her, all of her remaining energy seeping out of her. That trembling had come back, and was more a full blown shake now. She felt cowardly. Knew she was being cowardly. But couldn't quite get a grip on the panic. Couldn't tamp it down and think or speak. She just nodded at the repetition of reassurance. Really, what could she say? It's not like it was 100% his. She didn't know who the father was.. Couldn't know.
And he wasn't skilled enough in the Life Sphere to find out. He could have probably aborted it for her, though, although his method for doing that would have likely led to a fair degree of internal bleeding. Not to mention it would be stone-cold and fucking brutal. Translocate the baby's heart out of its little body, and her own body would reabsorb the rest. Stone-cold. He wasn't even sure he could do it, and Ave would probably never forgive him if he did. So he just did the only thing he could. He held onto her, rocking back and forth and crooning softly here or there, closing his eyes. And, so softly, almost impossible to hear, Jordan sang to her.
She would never ask him to do such a thing, either. If she were to have an abortion, it would be in a doctor's office, and she'd go by herself. Be easy enough to grab a coach back to her place, and she wouldn't burden anyone with the task of going with her. Even if she could put it on another person, she wouldn't be able to share it. Cassie was bad enough at sharing minor emotions and problems. This.. This was major. Cass clung to him, and she cried.