Erin slinked up to Cassie and Bastian's house. She sat on the porch a long moment staring at the letter in her hand. She wasn't sure it was the right thing.. that he would even read it. But she had waited for him to come to her house.. what she was begining to think of as their home for hours now. Sure, he may still be at the doctor, or perhaps he had gotten lost... No, it was all wishful thinking. He was done with her. She had made sure of that. A long sigh as she looked at the small white envelope. What did she have to lose? Nothing... not anymore.
Erin stood and went to the door. For a second she thought of knocking, but she couldn't say what she needed to. Couldn't express it as well as in the letter. The envelope in her hand was dropped in the mail slot before she turned to walk back down the steps. One last look over her shoulder and she skurried into the dark, a hand on her holster.
Bastian-
I'm leaving this for you because I can't sleep. Can't eat. I can't stand for things to be like this between us. I can't think you're mad at me anymore. I need you. More than I've needed anyone in the world. Ever. I just need you to be there, to look at me and let me tell you the inconsistencies of my day, and the stupid things that have happened. I need you to eat dinner when I burn it, and let me bring you a meal when you're working. I need the Bastian that was on that cargo crate with me; while in my mind I was begging that that moment would never end, begging that I could freeze time so that you would never look at me any other way.
What I said the other day... I meant it. I love you. This is a stupid thing to come between us. I just.. I don't want you to hurt anymore. I really don't care about the magic. Just the pain... and I'm scared. I'm scared of rejection and of your fear. I'm scared that you think I'm not good enough for you anymore. I'm scared you'll realize that this place really isn't for you, and you'll leave me. I'm scared that you'll find you really love Truly and I was just a passing diversion.
God, I miss you. I miss talking to you and *being* with you in a way that makes me feel alive and wonderful. I love that you hold me at night, even when I cry and that you're there for me. I do. I miss the closeness we had.. before this. That I could tell you anything, and you could see what I meant just by looking at me. I miss your eyes. I want to be your partner, I want us to discuss and make decisions.. not be silent or yell. Have dinner with me. A date. A real one.. with candlelight and I'll wear a dress. You can wear a suit. We could drink wine and dance and talk... be together. Courting. Like back home. Please, come to dinner with me tomorrow, Bastian? Can this be normal? Just for a night? If fit has to end.. and please don't say it does... give me at least one more night.
Love Always,
Erin
Erin stood and went to the door. For a second she thought of knocking, but she couldn't say what she needed to. Couldn't express it as well as in the letter. The envelope in her hand was dropped in the mail slot before she turned to walk back down the steps. One last look over her shoulder and she skurried into the dark, a hand on her holster.
Bastian-
I'm leaving this for you because I can't sleep. Can't eat. I can't stand for things to be like this between us. I can't think you're mad at me anymore. I need you. More than I've needed anyone in the world. Ever. I just need you to be there, to look at me and let me tell you the inconsistencies of my day, and the stupid things that have happened. I need you to eat dinner when I burn it, and let me bring you a meal when you're working. I need the Bastian that was on that cargo crate with me; while in my mind I was begging that that moment would never end, begging that I could freeze time so that you would never look at me any other way.
What I said the other day... I meant it. I love you. This is a stupid thing to come between us. I just.. I don't want you to hurt anymore. I really don't care about the magic. Just the pain... and I'm scared. I'm scared of rejection and of your fear. I'm scared that you think I'm not good enough for you anymore. I'm scared you'll realize that this place really isn't for you, and you'll leave me. I'm scared that you'll find you really love Truly and I was just a passing diversion.
God, I miss you. I miss talking to you and *being* with you in a way that makes me feel alive and wonderful. I love that you hold me at night, even when I cry and that you're there for me. I do. I miss the closeness we had.. before this. That I could tell you anything, and you could see what I meant just by looking at me. I miss your eyes. I want to be your partner, I want us to discuss and make decisions.. not be silent or yell. Have dinner with me. A date. A real one.. with candlelight and I'll wear a dress. You can wear a suit. We could drink wine and dance and talk... be together. Courting. Like back home. Please, come to dinner with me tomorrow, Bastian? Can this be normal? Just for a night? If fit has to end.. and please don't say it does... give me at least one more night.
Love Always,
Erin