Koy carried not only a large cardboard box in both arms but also the faint scent of whiskey on her breath. She could claim she wanted the liquid warmth to stave off the cold but the tight expression on her face gave more proof to the fact that she was not looking forward to the house call she needed to make. The breath she exhaled showed itself in the icy air when she knocked on the door to the last place she wanted to be; the doorstep of Seirichi's residence in Seaside. The door opened in the midst of her knocking though, her approach, or more specifically MoonBeryl's approach had been sensed well in advance by Harris thanks to his possession of PathFinder and ShadoWeaver.
"Koyliak." The sight of her for the first time since the news had broken was enough for him to muster up a smile, albeit a brief one.
Koy faltered for a moment at the smile. She almost forgot what brought her there. Her mouth crept upwards at the edges to mirror his until she remembered. "Harris." The lips pressed together as her gaze darted over his shoulder. Who or what she was checking for wasn't clear though there were only three options. "This is yers." She pushed the cardboard box towards his chest with more force and little warning than necessary.
"Appreciate it." He collected the cardboard box in his arms, refraining from rummaging through it immediately to see what she'd brought him. He also didn't invite her inside. He simply stood at the threshold, making small talk. "Lousy weather we're having."
Koy pressed her lips together tighter, to the point that white spaces showed through their usual red.
"I must be rubbing off on you," came the silent and unwanted commentary from MoonBeryl.
They both knew she exerted a painstaking effort not to lose her head with all the outrageous things she wanted to yell at Harris. After several long, uncomfortable moments she sighed. "Is tha all tha's left then? Idle chat 'bout the weather?"
"Was there something else you wanted to talk about?" He chose that point in their conversation to allow his gaze to dip the box in his arms, adjusting his grip on it so he could at least make an attempt to go through it from a standing position.
"Not so easy, is it?" came another smug comment from MoonBeryl as he felt Koy's patience stretching as far as thin thread could go.
"There are so many things, Harry." She could not avoid slipping back into the more familiar nickname though it lacked any warmth. "May as well pick one ta start. I jest can't wrap my head 'round how ye could wreck everythin' ye built, not ta mention in a way tha's so... humiliatin' ta the mother of yer child." Koy had decided to cut right to the chase.
Harris set the box of his belongings aside, stepped forward to cross the threshold, and closed the door behind him so they were both outside in the cold on the front stoop. "And if she'd let me see her I'd try to make amends. I really would." He declared as Koy slumped a little against the siding.
"We both know tha's an impossibly tall order." With a frown she continued to work at not flying off the handle at him. Not yet. She didn't have the energy to combat the sadness that overwhelmed her in the face of the anger she had seen during the hours she had been spending with Stick. "Ye're capable of many things, Harry, but I never thought ye could show such blatant recklessness ta one of the few things worth honorin'. Beyond the cruelty and deceit it's jest... wasteful. Like ye're snubbin' yer nose at somethin' most of us have ta strive so hard ta have."
"I'm sorry as hell at how this happened. But we're not the same people we were when we met. When we got married. When we had Stefan. Everything changes. Even people. Especially people. Stick recognized this before I did, probably. With... everything the last few years. Alpha and The Fair Labor Agreement garbage, being gone that stint..." He exhaled a breath. "I still love her though. And I'd do whatever I could to fix this, if she'd let me." His shadow seemed to stretch impossibly behind him, not at all consistent with the lighting generated from being outdoors.
"Hodierna, help me." The frowns creased her face further at his justifications. With her hands free she reached into a pocket of her coat not for the comfort of her Opal but for the numbing aid of her flask. She unscrewed the cap and took a swig, not offering it to Harris. The Aldamira's eyes narrowed and fixated on him. Whatever she tried to read there must have escaped her with the frustrated sigh that finally came from her lips.
"Lie ta me iffn ye want but please, the worst thing ye can do in the widenin' list of awful things ye're doin' these days, is lie ta yerself. Ye 'lways have a choice and ye're not tha weak. Iffn yer heart changed, so be it, but then ye deal with it the responsible way. Ye talk ta yer wife. Ye split from her iffn ye have ta but ye don't go behind her back, repeatedly, and do so in such a hasty way tha ye get yer mistress pregnant. And then she has ta read 'bout 'stead of hearin' from ye!" She slipped the flask back in her pocket and gave a vehement shake of her head. "Oh, Harry, this isn't like pushin' too far with a joke or runnin' yer mouth off ta yer admittedly hot-headed wife. Ye broke everythin!" The increase in her volume touched more with aggravated grief than unadulterated rage.
"I said I was sorry how it happened, Koyliak. I can't take it back now. What would you have me do, exactly? I mean, enlighten me. If all you're here to do is beat me up over it, then guess what? Stick already did that. If she won't even see me, then my hands are tied." His shadow shuddered and billowed outward for a brief moment behind him.
"Iffn ye think wha Stick did ta ye physically is goin' ta be the worst of it ye're in fer a rude awakenin', bub. Did the thought of yer son cross yer mind once 'fore ye slipped 'tween the sheets any one of those times?" Now her anger got the better of her tone. She jabbed a finger out towards him. "Ye did this! Ye did this ta yerself, ta Stick, ta Sami, and worst of all ta Stefan! And the part tha is the most maddenin' is tha as much as ye say ye're sorry fer the 'how' of it, ye're not acceptin' any responsibility fer yer actions! Ye're jest sorry it came out the way it did, and as lovely as tha hindsight is, I wonder iffn it hadn't been 'xposed iffn ye'd have ever fessed up ta it at all!"
"I was under the general impression that it was obviously my fault. Do I have to say it aloud as proof? Alright. This is my fault. I would like to make amends. I've said so at least ten times in this conversation already, Koyliak. You've obviously come here so you can yell at me about it. Well, you've yelled. Go back to Stick and tell her I'd like to see my son sometime this year, please. Tell her I'll still do right by him. And her if she'll let me try. Should I write this down for you, or do you think you can remember it all?" He had managed to maintain an even tone, lips twitching as ShadoWeaver stirred.
Koy's laugh was bitter and sounded the furthest thing from amused. "Tha's freakin' rich. Are ye in some kind of crazy debt, Harry?" The question seemingly off track but she had her own path of logic she wanted to take him down.
"What do you want from me, Koyliak?" He replied by answering a question with a question.
Koy pressed a hand bearing all the bruises and raw skin that came from both her hobbies and her profession against her forehead.
"Breathing might help," reminded MoonBeryl. She did not have the energy to split her focus to snap something snide back to the Opal. However, she did take his advice, if begrudgingly. When she looked up at Harris again the pain in her forest-green eyes came through more clearly than it usually did inside a ring after receiving a sound beating. Going between two of her closest friends, her chosen family, tore her up inside.
"I want ye ta be honest with yerself. Ye've been there fer me when I've hit rock bottom and fer tha I'll 'lways be here fer ye, though I can't promise ye'll like wha I have ta say." She fidgeted with her hands and chose to clasp them behind her back. "But ye're full of it iffn ye say ye want ta make it right by bein' back with yer family. Even iffn I thought it were possible, ye're actions are screamin, Harry. I ask iffn ye're in debt 'cause I know otherwise ye're not broke. Ye say ye want ta make it up ta Stick yet 'stead of choosin' ta rent any multitude of places in this city full of inns iffn not friendly faces fer ye right now, ye decide ta shack up in the one place tha will drive the knife deeper inta Stick's heart." She stared past his shoulder again, not looking for Seirichi or their stones but at the house itself.
"There's no coming back from this, Koyliak. Seirichi's pregnant. Where am I supposed to make my place if not here? Stick's not the type of woman I can reconcile with after breaking everything as you put it. When I say make amends I mean trying to patch things up enough where I can see my son without having to watch my back for a more literal knife than the one you speak of." He cleared his throat. "I don't know how much time we all need. But if I can't see her, if I can't see Stefan, if she won't let me try to do right by them both then I have to at least do right by Seirichi. Is that wrong?" Harris rubbed at his neck, as ShadoWeaver continued to nag at him.
"He sounds scattered,"MoonBeryl made the observation though Koy had the odd feeling the Opal might have been talking more to himself than her but she let it be. Harris did sound off to her, but given the circumstances, was that weird? Maybe he was having some type of mid-life crisis with all of this. She frowned.
"Look, I don't think it's right fer ye ta be completely cut off from Stefan either but... I jest don't know how ye'd go so far down this rabbit hole. Ye know Stick better than anyone. Did ye really think tha she'd take this with a grain of salt? She can't 'scape it and she can't control anythin' else goin' on in her world right now. Ye've marked her and Stefan may very well suffer the most 'tween the two of ye. But ye seem ta so easily be ready to throw 'way one family fer the start of 'nother." She gave a helpless shrug. "I guess it's jest I spend so much time worryin' 'bout things tha are out of my hands 'xplodin' my family and here ye've gone and all but treated 'em like they're disposable." She did not yell. She didn't say the words to sting him. She said them because she could not wrap her head around any of it still.
"Does this look like it's EASY, Koyliak?" The annoyance that had been bubbling finally came to a head as he raised his voice, the shadow he cast seeming to surge and splatter in a broad pattern against the face of Seirichi's Seaside abode. "You come here and you presume a lot for f*ck's sake. I'm trying to keep my sh*t together as best as possible in the face of every goddamn person pointing their fingers at me. It surprises you that I'm here with the one person that might support me in some fashion when I need it? Even you came all this way to point your finger and judge me too, just like everyone else. I said I was sorry. I am sorry. But I'm not gonna let you or any other f*cking person continue to walk all over me because of it. I can't even see my own flesh and blood, Koyliak. You think I don't care about Stefan? F*cking Christ, you come here presuming so much." Every heated breath sent the shadowy figure etched across the face of the house rising, taller and taller, as if threatening to engulf them both whole, PathFinder remaining silent throughout, allowing its kin to take the lead.
A shiver ran down Koy's spine. She wrapped her arms around herself. Maybe it was the cold? She needed to tell herself that as the hairs stood up along the back of her neck in the presence of that shadow, though she hadn't connected the two variables. But for someone who had been at the receiving end of Harris' fist many times, Koy flinched away as he spoke.
"Are ye there?" Koy's mind sought out MoonBeryl first without knowing why it gave her such comfort when his honeyed voice calmly answered.
"Of course I am."
She stared down at the ground. "I'm worried is all, fer all of ye. This doesn't feel like ye. Ye're right, I'm judgin'. I'm sorry fer tha. I don't know how ta help either of ye. But this doesn't seem like the way ta get Stick ta meet ye halfway." Finally she picked her head up. She was not lying in her next words. "Ye need ta sort out wha ye want, Harry. I don't know tha ye can see up from down right now, though ye're right, I'm not in yer shoes so wha can I know 'bout it."
"One of my families is fractured. The other is just beginning. I'm not throwing either away. But I have to try and manage to take care of both. This is my place for now, until Stick decides she wants to see me and we can talk." The inky black stain began to shrink, slowly. "Thanks for bringing me a few of my things. You can help by continuing to do that while I sort everything out."
"All right." She knew then that the love she bore for him was unconditional. She could have stormed off with a handful of nasty comments at his curt command. For someone else, she would have. But they had lived through too much for that platonic bond to break. Strain, maybe, but not break. It was how she felt about Stick too. Reconciling the two relationships so that she didn't feel like she was always betraying one of them had never been an issue until now. That train of thought would have explained the miserable expression on her face when she met his cold gaze again. "Ye don't have ta lose all of yer family fer the other, Harry." She did not push the quiet sentiment more than that. "I'll leave now."
"I'll do everything I can to keep as much of both as possible." He tried to smile then, so she'd know his intentions were true, but he simply couldn't force it. "I'll talk to you later."
The frown did not leave Koy's face when she turned to leave, even as Harris stood at the door until she was out of sight. Hours later, long after she had made it inside her home, she would still carry a cold deep in her bones that she could not shake.
((OOC Note: Adapted from live play.))