Topic: Second Chance - The Diary, Part Three

Jade Ravenlock

Date: 2010-04-29 23:50 EST
In the nightstand beside Dakota and Jade's bed, there was a thick notebook. It was black and purple. On the inside cover were the words "Mrs. Jade Steele - My diary!". And her chaotic ramblings followed.

-Entry 1
Diamond Eyes by Deftones

To the edge till we all get off
I will take you away with me
Once and for all

Time will see us realign
Diamonds reign across the sky
Shower me into the same
Realm

Calculate I'll embrace hold on
(Come with me now)
Right away outer space with me
Once and for all

Time will see us realign
Diamonds reign across the sky
Shower me into the same
Realm
Time will see us realign
Diamonds reign across the sky
I will lead us to the same
Realm

When the coffin shakes
And the needle breaks
Come right away with me
Come on your sick?
Once and for all

Time will see us realign
Diamonds reign across the sky
Shower me into the same realm
Time will lead us to the same realm
I will lead us to the same realm

April 29th, 2010
Dear new Diary,

It's been a while since I had one of things, hasn't it? Mmmkay, what's new? Hm, I'm married. I died. I'm alive as a human. Yeah, lots has changed. And guess who killed me and brought me back. My husband! Dakota Steele is possitively the best man of all time. Yes, killing me was a good thing, as morbid as it seems. We have a new start now.

But, something bigger than that is happening, I do believe. I think I have food poisoning! I made a horrible meat loaf last night. I think that's what it is. It has to be, right?

I woke up this morning just sick as a dog. Throwing up absolutely everywhere! Really, was it that bad? Dakota didn't say much about me being sick, he only smiled and seemed not to worry about it. He was probably just happy he wasn't sick! That goober! He took care of me well; he even put a bucket near the bed for me. And cleaned up when I missed. He's a goober, a sweet goober. After a while I started feeling better, but I still get sick every now and then.

I hope I get over this soon. I feel so bad! I look bad too. And Jade hates looking bad! And I didn't get to kite flying with Claira today either. Which makes momma feel horrible. Kota did it for me, but it just seems he's been doing a lot more parenting lately. I'm just so tired all the time now! I go out a little here and there, and I play here and there... but I'm just so tired! I nap 60% of the day. That's so bad!

But Dakota just smiles and muses at everything. It's like he knows something I don't! Really, I'd like to know! Because I'm kinda out in left field at the moment. I hope he tells me soon. I can't take this clueless human thing anymore!

Well, I'll spare you from hearing all my ramblings about how much I love Dakota, Claira, and Rhy. Just know I love them lots! Like.... LOTS. Oh, speaking of Rhy, I'll talk to her tomorrow about this sickness bullmess. Maybe she'll tell me. She'll tell me anything, which is why I love her so.

So, I should go. I'm getting kinda tired again. So exhausted! I want a pickle too... or some pudding. Maybe a loaf of french bread. Bread is supposed to settle your tummy, right? I'll eat that last.

Love,
Jade Steele

Jade Ravenlock

Date: 2010-05-09 02:13 EST
-Entry 2

The Only Exception by Paramore
When I was younger I saw
My daddy cry
And curse at the wind
He broke his own heart
And I watched
As he tried to reassemble it
And my momma swore
That she would
Never let herself forget
And that was the day that I promised
I'd never sing of love
If it does not exist

But Darlin...
you are the only exception
you are the only exception
you are the only exception
you are the only exception

Maybe I know somewhere
Deep in my soul
That love never lasts
And we've got to find other ways
To make it alone
Keep a straight face
And I've always lived like this, keeping a comfortable distance
And up until now I had sworn to myself that I'm content with loneliness
Because none of it was ever worth the risk

Well you are the only exception
you are the only exception
you are the only exception
you are the only exception

I've got a tight grip on reality
But I can't let go of what's in front of me here
I know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up leave me with Some kind of proof it's not a dream

Oh oh oh

You are the only exception
you are the only exception
you are the only exception
you are the only exception

And I'm on my way to believing
Oh and I'm on my way to believing

May 8th, 2010
Dear Diary,

Well. We know what's been goin' on now. Not food poisoning! Thank the lord, it's something so much better! Like, only the one thing I have been wishing for my entire existence. I'm pregnant! Can you believe it! P-r-e-g-n-a-n-t!

So yea, I thought I had food poisoning. I mean, that's assumable, right? For me, it sure is! What was I supposed to think? Like, sure Dakota and I had set aside a night that we planned to get pregnant on... and oh boy that night. But I haven't really thought of that in a month. I guess it worked!
... Not that I doubted it. This is Dakota Steele, manly man of bearing spawn.

That's why he didn't seem too worried when I was getting sick. Though, he did look at me oddly when I kept rambling on about food poisoning. I seriously thought that's what it was! And he never said anything against it. I suppose he thought maybe I'd just get it. But no, not me. New human here! It's not like I studied morning sickness or anything.

So this a few mornings ago Dakota went to the store for me. I use him, tee hee. My lists aren't that complicated to follow... for me. But he took Claira with him, and she understands my ramblings. When he got back and put everything away, he came to me with this little white stick thing. And he told me to pee on it! I was so shocked! But then he told me it'd tell me what has been making me sick. I thought it was some new defangled techological advance. So, I did the potty dance with the stick, and it turned pink. I asked Kota what it meant... and he said that meant I was pregnant with our child.

I was confused, yes, but that didn't stop the tears from flowing. I was... just... so overflowing with pure emotion. Utter glee and happiness.
The other day we went to the doctor for a conformation. Pee test, again, and blood work. It all came in today. He called us and told us we were in fact, pregnant!

I'm just... so happy! This means I can start decorating one of the spare rooms as a nursery. I wonder who the baby will look more of... hopefully more like Dakota. Kota doesn't know how beautiful he really is. God Blessedly adorable! It's too early to worry about that... but... I have to get more clothes now! Maternity clothes are so ugly! I really hope I can find a cute shopping outlet who go towards fashionable mommas!

Oh, I'm going to be a true blue mom! Not like I'm not now. But .... a woman... One who gives birth and procreates. It's been my calling. I have Claira, but it's not the same as giving birth. But the love sure won't differ! Love them both just as much as the other!
I just hope she understands why the attention will focus more on the baby... seeing as it's a baby! My little Bella will understand. She knows how important this is to me.

Speaking of Claira! She's so excited to be a big sister! She wants a little brother to take care of. And secretly I want a little boy too, but I'll be glad with anything God blesses me with.

OH! I'm soooooooo overjoyed!!

Love,Jade Steele