*Click*

How do I start one of these things? I have no idea to be honest. I guess I will start with the date... January 26th if I am correct. But who cares what day it is when you are immortal.

I hate writing... but I hate my voice as well.

But I hate writing more so I guess I will record my thoughts this way... literally.

I moved into the Chi Zeta Kappa house and... it is nice I suppose. Rhy is pretty much the only one here I can feel I can talk to about anything. The rest of the girls are not real night owls...

*A little laughter here, but there is a pause.*

The human boy... Brandon... well he gave me a necklace a few days ago. I met his boss and he said we were dating, but when we parted that night... Well I have not seen him since. Jade, the other vampiress... er... one of them at least, says he works all the time.

I guess even though I was once a human I do not understand them. He has a limited life as it is, why would he waste it all working? Then again, if he likes doing it who am I to stop him from doing so. I just do not want to watch him work himself to death.

Speaking of Brandon... he used to be dating Rhy. It does not bother me really. She is so in love with Dean it is almost sickening... She gave me the necklace he gave her. Mine is a moonstone pendent as is her's I believe... odly similar. But that does not bother me either...

Tonight Damien was picking on my friend, Dorin, and he brought up Brandon and said that for someone who loves a mortal who will never love me back, I let Dorin pick on mortals a lot.

I do not know what that set off in me, but I cried. I have not really cried in a long time. Sure I have shed a few tears now and then but I felt like my heart was pierced with a stake. He said he did not mean it, but I cannot help but to wonder. I wonder if this is what it is going to be like all the time...

Me, sitting here alone wondering where he has gone to. I have all the time in the world, so I'm not going anywhere, but who is to measure the time he has left and how much of it will be with me.

It is just like old times is it not?

*Click*

*Click*

I saw him this evening... for a few moments before he was taken by the nexus. We did not even have a moment alone. Not one before that damned nexus... damn it. I could not even hug him or anything... it is horrible. It was not enough.

He has been working... which is why I have not seen him. I knew it. Why must he work so much? It bothers Jade, myself, and most likely others as well. Does he not know how to take a day off?

So here I am... alone again.

I am almost jealous of Jade and Rhy... they get to see Damien and Dean a bit...

*Click*

*Click*

I actually drank from a human tonight... and not just any human. It was Brandon. To be honest I have not fed off of a human like that since after the wars and I was able to make the pills and serums to keep my thirst at bay.

I was just simply going to inject the serum and be done with it but Jade mentioned how Brandon liked being bitten... That is odd indeed. She said he was made because she did not bite him before, and it was that Gabe guy again.

I thought if he really did not mind me feeding from him, why not?

But I was still nervous about it. I remember the last time I fed off of a human being.

*There is a long pause... nothing can be heard.*

It was so long ago, but I remember it like it was yesterday.

There was a man. He was strong and handsome and had a vein that protruded from his neck that was just screaming for me to bite. I could not resist. I ended up attacking him and knocking him out cold before drinking from him. His blood was sweet... Brandon reminded me of him but none the less.

Throughout my vampyric life I was always taught that the humans were inferior. Lovers, teachers, and the like have all told me that where I was from. I did not understand it to be honest, but it was something I knew. I was always taught to kill those I drank from... never let them live. Because of this... many humans died because of me, by my hands and blades alone. I have never forgiven myself for it either.

So when I was done drinking from that sweet tasting human man, I stood and he laid lazily on the ground. I studied him. He seemed strong for a human, but he was still human right?

I knelt down beside him and took his head in my hands... I was going to make it painless. A quick snap of his neck and then I would have drug his body to the river and no one would find out correct? Of course after hiding his wounds with slash marks from my blade...

But before I did anything some woman grabbed my hair and pulled me off of him. I was confused and angry and I stood, preparing to kill whatever touched me... but I was shocked to find myself dealing with a human woman. She looked scared but she told me to get away from her husband, that I was a monster and that I could have her insted of him...

I wanted to kill her for simply pulling my hair, she saw me feeding... she was supposed to die with her husband that night, but I did not do it. I simply left them and fled the area...

After that I found donors who would give me vials of their blood so I could take what I needed from it, so I could simply take the pills and inject the serum insted of actually feeding.

But Brandon's blood is so sweet... and he seemed to enjoy it greatly. Almost as much as I enjoyed feeding. If he was a vampire he would make a wonderful one indeed...

It is funny how every vampire is different. Some treat humans like brothers and sisters, some treat them like animals and enslave them, others think of them as a waste and simply kill them off after getting what they needed.

I do not think I will ever forgive myself for what I have done. Should I tell Brandon or Jade? Jade might understand...

I just hope no one finds this thing...

*Click*

*Click*

Only two days since I last spoke to this thing...

Nothing has happened really. I've been palling around with Claira, her mother, and Damien. I really need to find a job or something... but what would a vampiress piano player, and excellent fighter do for a living?

*A small sigh.*

I don't know... maybe I should try to become a body guard or something... but that would never happen.

I started the second book of that Anne Rice series I am ready, Beauty's Punishment. It is good so far methinks. Everytime Jade see's me reading she picks on me on how it is one of those 'dirty' books.

*A bit of snickering could be heard.*

Oh well. It's nice to kind of lounge around all day... I've been cleaning and cooking a little as well to kind of help do my part... keeping Claira occupied is also a huge favor methinks.

But that is about it for now... I'm going to go find something to eat.

*Click*

*Click*

It is Valentines day... I know this because Brandon got me this beautiful ruby ring. It is facinsating to simply look at... I absolutly love it but he said that he would be giving me another present tonight.

I wonder what he is giving me tomorrow...

But I do know what I am giving him, and it cannot be wrapped.

Anyways... more good things, Rhy is engaged. Dean gave her a ring with a heart shaped diamond on it. I must admit the man has good taste. I am going to go dress shopping with Jade and Rhy sometime to pick out Rhy's dress. I am very happy for her. She is so in love with Dean! Maybe I will get to meet his son, Daniel.

But anyways... last night I ran into the vampire who turned me and took me under his wing for years so I could learn how to survive as a vampire... Well I discovered it was Darkmere. I knew I was related to him some how... turns out I am his blooded daughter. I am one of his children according to him. When he asked me about the black dragon pendent on my cloak he showed me his and then it sort of came together from there. I gave him a hug and everything. It is nice to see him again.

Well it is time for my daily dose of ice cream...

*Click.*

*Click.*

...

He's missing. Brandon is. It hurts so much. I can't even begin to describe it. Maybe it wouldn't hurt so bad if I knew that I couldn't have done anything about it, but I could. I should have carried him away when I sensed the danger, but I...

*And for a few moments, only sobbing could be heard.*

I didn't! This is all my fault. I would have Claira come down to cheer me up but I don't want the little one to see me in such a state. Rhy tried to cheer me up, but that didn't work out so well.

*There was a pause before she started again.*

It's all my fault...

*And all there was, was sobbing for moments before another female voice, Rhy's could be heard.*

Ly...? Oh come here.

Rhy?

Yes?

Is this my fault?

No... it couldn't be. Brandy wouldn't want you blaming yourself...

*Click.*

*Click*

Brandon came back from Miss Read's offices but with guards on him like crazy... I was just so happy to see him. He also told me he had really, really good news. He is healed of his heart condition!

*And another voice come in after some movement sounds.*

Ly?

Yeah Claira?

Can we go swimming?

Sure... give me a sec.

Okies!

*And there is a chuckle from Lyren.*

And I wonder why I hated kids so much...

*Click.*

*Click*

Just as Brandon is back home and safe in my arms someone else just had to threaten that. Rain is back... a lycan who has held a grudge with me for over a century. She is threatening to kill Brandon as I killed her mate, who in actuality... killed mine.

This is crazy. I'm worried sick here about him and now I know I cannot leave him out of my own sight. If something happens to him because of this I know I'll never forgive myself. He seems so fragile because he's still human. I love him, I really do, but I don't want him around me if it means him getting hurt. I want the best for him, and whatever he decides I will be perfectly ok with... I suppose. I want him with me but that sounds so selfish.

My old mate, Alexander, was so strong. He didn't... he wasn't breakable like Brandon was. I never had to worry about killing him like I do with Brandon. One slip up and he could die in my arms and I would never forgive myself. I love Brandon, but I miss Alexander. I always will... a part of me will always do that. I want to turn Brandon sometimes because it would mean he wouldn't be so breakable. He would be even stronger than he is now. But I want what is best for him more...

I'm going to go find him... and try to keep that Lycan away from him. There is no way she is going to take him from me.

*Click*

*Click*

A bit has happened since I spoke to you last. Rain has promised she would be after Brandon... so I have been with him when he hasn't been in the care of Miss Read. I have been busy, that is why I haven't touched this thing in a long time.

Rhy and Dean are married and Rhy told me she was expecting a little one to be running around soon. Compared to my long life it seems like they just met... but what do I know. I'm only three hundred and eighteen years old. They deserve eachother! They're wonderful people!

Jade and Tristen aren't going to happen I guess. Ah well. Jade knows what she's doing. I'm going to be around here more often pretty soon. Once I sink my teeth into Rain of course. She's nothing but a dog you know. Easy fight. Promise.

I miss Claira... I am going to go bug her now.

*Click*

*Click.*

It's been so long since I have bothered to take this thing out of its box, and I am glad I decided to tonight. I have been so depressed since Brandon and all of Rhy'Din knows it... but lately I have been talking to a certin vampire who I have taken a fancy to.

Oryan...

Isn't that a handsome name? He is very handsome too. I can connect with him so well. We're both vampires and he understands what it's like to be alone in this world. He knows how much Brandon hurt me, and infact he was there when I talked to Brandon again. I told him that maybe we could someday be together... but I doubt it. He deserves something better than me... something so much more than me.

I'm just a vampire. I drink bloods and at heart I am a cold blooded killer. Oryan knows and doesn't judge me. Hopefully I will see him again tomorrow evening and possibly introduce him to Darkmere and Jade... maybe Rhy if her pregnant ass ever comes around...

I have to go. He's here helping me baby sit... the poor man is being tackled by kids!

*Children laughing in the backround before...

Click.*