Some people say 'I don't know how it happened.' But that's not me, schway? I do know how It happened.. But this..? This alliance? This.. vendetta? I don't get, but now I'm a part of it.

I didn't care.. When Entity took me over, I didn't care. When he killed those men, I didn't care. When he made me nearly smother that boy in the blood of his friends, you can bet'cher ass I didn't give a damn.

But when I saw him sitting at that table. With those stupid glasses, and those stupid.. everything. Everything about Brian Ravenlock made me want to vomit. Because he was happy. Because he'd succeeded. Because he was everyone's goddamned butt buddy, but when he needed to be a brother..? The big brother..? Tch.

Something snapped inside of me, then. Well.. inside inside of me. I could honestly say I've never really wanted to try and kill anyone. A human anyone. Fricken shadowspawn doesn't count.

"I do remember you, unfortunately.. What have you done to Lain? Why are you here?"

I laughed so hard the hole in my chest started to ache. He was faking it, I knew he was faking it. The last time this happened.. he was soooo hellbent on denouncing me. Denouncing US.

Entity pushed him, pushed him hard, and I let him. I loved it. He deserved so much more than this.. he deserved what had happened to us.. No. They deserved what had happened to us. Jen, and his girls.

We wound up outside, and he chickened out. Entity gradually let me out during that fight. Or excuse for a fight. Cuz he was a fricken chicken. I decked him and it was my hand that felt his lip split. I ate his blood without Entity's influence. I just wanted to get under his skin.

"I know enough.. And I not let anything ride, until you give her back, and she tells me to my face.. Yes, Alex is gone, bu--"

I stopped listening after that. I screamed for Alex, screamed as hard as I could. Brian wasn't allowed to talk about him like he cared. Like he had mattered. Because he didn't. He never did. Especially not to any of them.

Then, he did the unthinkable. He apologized.

Give me a break Hero.. you think that those stupid words are going to make any fricken difference? Oh, I'm sorry! THAT'S ALL YOU CAN DO! THAT'S ALL YOU'RE CAPABLE OF DOING!

All that time, Brian thought I wasn't there. Wasn't watching, wasn't listening. I made myself known, then. I showed him, and I knew it fucked him up.

"You deserve better than this, Lain.. Please don't let this happen, Lain.. Please, I am begging you.. I don't want this for you, for anyone, Lain.. Please."

"I don't care.. I died with Alex, and I'm not going to fight for you, or for anyone. Not even against Him."

Entity snickered at me, but like I'd said, I didn't care. I didn't have anything left. Tenzo.. God, I wished Tilda would have killed me. Flick, anyone!

I want to die..

But not before I take them all down with me.

I made Entity promise that he would eat one of Brian's children for me.

Just like last time, he's chained me to the wall. Unlike last time, though, I can't move.

It's cold here, cold to the point that I can't feel anything. There's about three inches of icy water on the floor, and somewhere off in the distance, I hear it dripping.

There's a wall at my back. It feels like bricks. I don't know how big it is, or if it's connected to something else.

Sometimes he lets me see things. Or makes me see things. Then, I'm watching everything through a fricken enormous rectangle. The light hurts my eyes because everything else is black. I look down at myself and feel like I want to puke. There's a hole in my chest, and my shirt and jackets are soaked in blood. I wonder how I can even breathe.

When he does things, I can feel it, and my hands involuntarily twitch and try to grasp onto whatever it is he's making me touch. Hair, clothes, skin, a wall, a drawer, a staff, a gun. Anything. Everything.

Am I trying to prove that I'm still here? I don't know..

Because I'm not.

He's.. transfered all his pain to me.. Whatever he doesn't want to feel, I do..

He walks around outside half naked.. the cold rips through my like knives. My arms have been broken. I've been stabbed, I've been punched, I've been kicked, and I've been shot. The sound of my blood dripping down into the water at my feet echoes in my ears.

I'm hanging here, hanging by a thread. I don't know what he's trying to do to me. His sense of what's torturous is weak, retarded, and way too fricken medieval. Either that, or I'm starting to get way too damned screwed up. Yanno, if I'm actually thinking of better, more efficient ways of torturing myself. I don't know if he wants me to want to die or to fight to make it stop..

Maybe.. I just.. need to sleep.. for a while.. I'll figure it out..

Alex..

"Well, well, well... what do we have here?" There was laughter in my head. And it didn't belong to Entity.

I knew this voice. Oh hell, I fricken knew this voice.. This was HIS voice. My chest contracted all on its own. I felt like I'd been punched in the gut. Tingles ran from my heart all the way to the tips of my fingers and toes.

"Alex.. What th'frick'r you doin' here?"

"I'd have to ask you the same question, but considering I'm not the one locked in my own head, I think you need to answer me first. What the hell is wrong with you."

It wasn't a question, it was more like an order. I flinched away from his harsh tone, not even realizing that there was no way this could be REAL. It was him.. I was hearing him. He was here with me. Nothing else mattered.

My eyes closed and tears warmed my cheeks as they fell. I'd cried more in the last fricken month than I had in my whole damned life. Something that I was seriously UN-proud of.

I couldn't say anything.

"Please tell me you didn't do all of this because of me. I don't want to be held responsible for your idiocy. Once again."

"Shut up."

"Come again?"

"I said fricken shut up, damn it. Who th'hell d'you think you are lecturin' me about jack when you dun' even know th'FIRST thing I've been through since you've died! Seriously!" I drew in a painful breath. I shouldn't be saying this.. He was here, he was talking to me. But I couldn't stop. "I knew you were an arrogant pissant, but for god's fricken sake, Alex. Cut me some slack. Talk crap t'someone that hasn't been at your side constantly and supported you through anything and everything you did, no matter what the HELL it was!"

"You do realize, Lainbat, that I never once asked you to do any of that for me." There was something different in his voice, but I couldn't make it out. I shifted against the irons, and the chains rattled heavily in the dark.

"You always tried to push me away," I chuckled. Remembering killed more than anything Entity could ever hope to do to me. And I couldn't stop myself from doing just that. I wished that I could see him. His voice came from all around me, and I was twisting my head nearly off my fricken neck without result. "That's just th'thing though, schway..? When you're in love with someone, it doesn't matter what happens. You try your damndest to stay with them and screw the hell out of everyone else."

"Geez, Lain, what the hell!"

"You know what I meant."

It sounded like he was shaking his head. I heard the shift of hair over clothing and skin. Then the sound of water as feet moved through it. His feet, obviously, cuz I couldn't fricken move. Or so I could only hope.

"Always with the screwing. Tsk-tsk, I'm not going to let you borrow my books anymore. Your mind is still far too.. well, VIRGIN, isn't the right word. Let's just say they're not for you."

I snorted. "Good luck getting the picture adaptions then."

"Oh, I have my sources." I was happy that he sounded even the slightest bit worried. "One more thing, Lain."

I sighed. 'One more thing' always meant the conversation was inevitably gonna end. I didn't want that. Insane as it may sound - I wanted my ex-fiance to stay locked with me inside my own head.

"What." My voice was all wrong, but something close to that word had to have come out cuz I felt impossibly warm fingers lift my chin and brush against the tearstains on my face. Glowing spheres of emerald flared to life a foot above my head and with their light I was able to just see about a fourth of his face and hair. He was in one piece.. Thank god for those chains cuz I would have crumbled right there in a heap of disgusting fricken goo.

He spoke softly to me. "You always had a habit of talking about things you didn't understand," there it was again. That tone of his voice that I couldn't place.. It sounded like.. remorse? No, sadness..? Something odd. "Remember.. you died once and left me behind as well."

I hoped I wasn't just seeing the vague possibility of a grimace twist his face. His eyebrows knitted, and his lips moved into a sad little smile. I remembered.. he destroyed my tombstone. When I was there I'd felt so much of him that I almost thought he was fricken watching me. I had to ask Tilda to be sure, but still..

I shook my head. Thoughts of that bitch weren't gonna ruin my moment. My last nearly perfect moment with him. I didn't even get to say goodbye.

"Alex.."

"Lain.. Lain..? Ngyahha, Lain.. who are you talking to..? You jabber to yourself enough, one would think you were.. going crazy.."

"NO, ALEX!" I was too late, he was gone. Pain be damned, I drew in a huge lungful of air and let it out in a scream. I screamed until I swore my throat was bleeding. I screamed until I couldn't breathe and was all but dislocating every joint I had cuz I was hanging from the manacles holding me up.

"How adorable.. to think he was here.. Alexander is gone, child.. never to return.. Your impression of him was spot on, henhenh.."

"No.."

"Haven't I told you, child..? Watching you torture yourself is far more amusing than doing it myself.. You think of the most creative things.. That is why you are my favorite.."

It was real. He was here. It happened, he was HERE. He touched me, he talked to me. It was real, it was real..

.. right..?