Aug. 25

Can you believe I'm writing in you, already? It's not even a new day, yet. I'd say that's some talent, right there. Feel privileged I like writing in you, more, than that other blasted thing. .. I guess you're the favorite of the two, already.

Yami's getting changed, right now. She got SOAKED. We were in the Glen, enjoying a little late night cuddle.. and all of today, she's been assaulted by that damn Nexus.. (which I'm about to pledged war on, I'll tell you this.) so it just up and threw her STRAIGHT into the water. The poor neko didn't even have a chance.

Well, maybe she think. I think it suspended her over the water, to rub it in her face where she was going to be dropped. Poor thing! I didn't even have a chance to try and stop her. The first second she was there, and the next, she was not!

That Nexus is going to get what is coming to it.. I don't care what it takes!

Anyway.. onto what I wanted to actually document, for the evening:

I think we .. just pledged an extremely serious start to our lives together. While we were in the Glen, we were talking about my past, and what I am, so to speak. See.. she tried to heal me the other day, and tore my cheeks nearly in half. So I felt I should start to explain everything to her. What I am, what hurts, what helps. Everything. And, at some point.. we just kind of lost ourselves in that. He were cuddling, kissing, and holding each other for such a long period of time before she told me that she believed I was her soulmate.

I thought I almost lost myself, right there. Soulmate? Me? I.. I couldn't have felt HAPPIER to hear her say that! I told her the very same thing, right back.. before she even took it to the next level.

She doesn't believe I am her soulmate. She knows I am.

I've just died and gone somewhere.. I don't think .. eh eh.. but definitely somewhere where happy people can go!

I didn't waste any time in telling her that I felt the exact same way. We sealed those words with what I can only tell you is, "The best kiss ever experienced between two people."

I know it. Yami is the only one for me. I don't care what anyone says will become of this.. if they don't agree it's going to last, then they're wrong.

I know it for sure, this time.

I love Yami like I've never felt love, before. I find myself thinking of her at all times of the day. Looking for her, waiting for her, roaming everywhere with her. I've never seen so inseparable from anyone in all my life.

Never.

I don't feel the urge to stay away from her, or ignore her feelings. I constantly feel like I want to do something to make her smile, to make her laugh. To say or act in some way to bring out the best smile in her. And I never have to try to do that... it just comes out! And she is always smiling! Or laughing!

She makes me feel so wonderful, instead. .. yeah, I just used a word like that. WONDERFUL! .. I know you wouldn't judge me using that word, journal.. after all, I'm a fresh existence in your life. I guess I could grow to like you, too. But just like...

My heart belongs solely to Yami. I made that promise to her, tonight, after all.

**

I think something is wrong with Jade. While Yami and I were sitting in the Glen, Jade was roaming about there.. she looked like of.. lost? Of course, when I asked her, she wouldn't say anything. But I know for sure something is bothering her. I really hope that she'll feel comfortable talking to me, in the future.. I really don't want one of my friends to be feeling any kind of grief.

It sucks..

**

A demon horse almost tried to eat my hair. I know it. I saw that look in its eye...

I'll find it and show it what's what!

Alright, it's time to go.. she got changed. .. and she's looking a little too cute for me to be paying attention to pages.

Ah, she's coming!

~A

Aug. 27

I realize I didn't really explain the reason why I just.. attacked you, like that. You'll have to forgive me. Yesterday was the newest, and by far highest, best day of my life.

I hadn't seen Yami during most of the morning hours.. she had some stuff she had to go do to get Yama for his next.. business trip. Or what she described it as one. In truth.. I don't know what it is. But it's something that highly worries her, every time he does one of these things. I'll need to work extra hard at being sure she keeps her mind off of it. When we had just met, she was in a terrible mood for a while because she was worried about him. .. can't have that happen, again.

So, deciding against waiting around, I took off for the inn. I had seen Jade carrying a basket, with some other people.. it decided like not a terrible idea really to just be around her. I haven't had too much of a chance to spend any time wither. And she was really upset, yesterday. Or, the day before..? Yeah. Saturday.

After a little bit, Yami actually showed up, cheery as ever. I was happy to see that she had come, after all.. I was beginning to worry that maybe she was going to be too busy today to stop by for a long while. We shared some muffins, and milk, before she felt like she needed to go out for a walk.

The Glen was really far, and we didn't feel like stopping in any kind of shop, or something.. so we just wound up roaming the Marketplace. It was a really nice day out, after all that rain that we've been having.

Well, I saw from the corner of my eye this little peddler.. or what I figured was a peddler, carrying several displays and setting up a little shop that seemed unique from the others. He only had those cases.. and what was in them looked few and far in between. I mean, a ring here, a necklace there. At one point he was showing me bracelets.. but it didn't look like much. But I knew right away.. I had thought of it earlier, that I wanted to get her something to encase that promise of ours within. A keepsake. Anything.

It's when I saw this little ring, that seemed to look just perfect. I didn't know her ring size.. but I ended up getting it. It's this little ruby gem that's set within a heart-shaped engraving. Set on either side are tiny little crosses, that push the gem up a bit from it's placement, really making it stick out from the rest of the pure silver loop.

I think she literally was about to eat me, on the spot, she loved it sooo much.

I explained it to her.. that the heart was meant to be mine for her to carry and hold and have, wherever she may be, whenever she may need it. I've given her my heart, and by that ring, do I vow to keep it that way.

I was really happy to see that, too.. mostly because by giving her that, it had perfected this promise that we gave each other. About being soul mates. About being together through the thick and thin of things.. just everything.

That our hearts were set on a course. Together.

Well... one thing lead to another, and we began to kind of discuss an engagement. Mostly I was trying to tell her that I wasn't asking her to marry me, right then and there.. and a little bit that I wanted to see what she would say, if she had thought I would ask.

I already knew.. we talked about it, once before.

So, before I could even think about it, my heart leapt from place and asked her. Right then in there, in front of hundreds of people. Several times, in fact.. I even dipped her in this passionate moment, and did.

Every time was a resounding yes.

So, Journal, that's why I attacked you in a fit of happiness.

She said yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes. YESYESYES!

... this morning, I couldn't really find means of sleeping that well. I was so hyped up. And I think she kind of is, too.. she didn't stay asleep for too long. We're going to go to the inn for some breakfast, and see about finding a bigger ring for her. I know she's perfectly content with that one.. but if she sees something that she really likes.. I'll get it for her.

We're about to go. .. gosh, how I love her. Just seeing her makes me so happy. So excited.. I wonder if she truly knows how much I feel that....

~A

Aug. 29th

I can't sleep. Although, what a surprise, what with Yami laying next to me, and all.

She looks so peaceful, with her hair just kind of in a mess over her shoulder, and her bare shoulders.. peaceful may be a wrong choice of words. Beautiful. Stunning.

Our day started weird.. but ended with an amazing night of love making.

Yami was going to clean and get things all situated, since I've been living at her home, more recently, so I decided I'd try to get out of her hair so she could do her thing. I still wanted to find a better ring, just in the off-chance one happened to sprout up, as well as simply take a little walk. To gather all my thoughts concerning her.

Sometimes I feel like the things I want to say to her are weakened because they're words, and not actions. And, above that, I'm really bad with words. Most times, the things I say to her are an understatement to my true emotions. Such as saying, "Yami, I love you." It's true, but gosh that's no where close to how I truly, deeply feel. So, I'll come up with, "I love you more than life, itself." It's better, isn't it? I mean, it does convey a stronger emotion. But still, there is a lacking feeling when I say it. I'm not presenting my true, true emotion.

I guess that would be because words are not enough to tell her how I feel. My love for her grows by the second, at such a pace, there's no way I can keep up. Each passing second.. I've nearly grown to ten times the size, in terms of love, for her. And each second after that, it's another ten times. It's growing into this massive feeling that leaves me feeling tight in the chest.

Well, anyway... when I came back home, I managed to only have some flowers for her. Not like that was bad, I mean, I'm happy to know I found a ring that I'm truly happy with. When I walked inside, however, I noticed that there was the image of a small girl with bright blonde hair standing in the living room. With a voice like you couldn't believe.

Aka had managed to find the home.

Don't ask me how she did it.. I never told her about where Yami lived, specifically because after informing her of our status, as well as the fact that were going to be getting married, I thought it'd be safe.

For everyone.

Well, Yami told me a little bit after I came home that she was asking questions concerning our togetherness, and if we were 'The Real Deal'. Which doesn't make sense.. I told her already that we had.

Apparently Aka tried to pay Yami off, so she'd break it off.

I don't know what I'm going to do with Aka. I mean, she's been with me now for over a year. I know she's looking out for me, although Yami does believe that she may have some kind of feeling for me. I wouldn't deny it.. I've seen her look at me enough times to tell. In fact, I seem to be the only one she'll look at for any period of time, what with her inability to create any form of eye-contact.. but still.

It's just not possible. Even if I could, I wouldn't. I took her under my wing to take care of her. She was in a jam, with me being her only option out. She wanted to come, so I brought her back.. that's about it.

I'm going to see if I can have a talk with her, and then have her go apologize to Yami, later. It's the only appropriate thing.

Well, somewhere amongst all this madness, she apparently summoned a scare crow into the mix.. and then Brian, Jen, Lain, and Jade showed up. Almost all together, and at once.

Obviously you can assume this didn't go very well...

After some simple conversation, (apparently they wound up getting dragged into the forest by mistake, while packing) I ended up telling them that Lain and I had broken it off. They hadn't heard, and the masquerade we put on for them some weeks back just wasn't going to do, now. I don't really know how they took it, but they seemed somewhat intent on just making sure that Lain was alright. This thing was mutual, really.. but, I guess I can't blame them. After all, I do have my rock and wonderfulness in my life.

That, to me, was the final nail in the coffin. I must admit, too, it felt good to just have it out there, like that. With that much done, everyone that's within the clan and my life is well aware that Yami and I are a couple. Now, we didn't explain that we're getting married, yet.. things were already feeling awkward, enough...

But I think we'll make a general announcement of it in the coming days to our friends.

I want the world to know I'm marrying the greatest in the world. I'm damn proud of her.

I still plan on taking Yami to a beach, when I can have a few moments edgeway with her and see what she thinks. I hope she likes the idea..

Oh, speaking of Yami.. (Ha, who else do I discuss!) she gave me a pendant, this morning. She left it on my pillow, along with some breakfast. It looks absolutely beautiful when it's in the light. It has a blue stone, and it just sparkles like it's alive. She said it came from her mother and father, when they were together. Her mother gave it to her father when they got engaged.. because she knew that she had found her soul mate.

I melt when I think on it. It's like the same exact thing I did with Yami.. I got her that ring because I wanted, so much, to just be with her for the rest of my life. It was a pure symbol of our ever lasting love. Of our bond as soul mates.

I'm deeply touched that Yami would give me something so precious. By doing so, I know.. I just know.. that she truly trusts me for who I am, and believes in our love so fiercely. It makes me love her even more.

I've never met someone so affection, so caring, so open and honest.. it's as though she was drawn by the dreams that were in my heart, before I met her, arriving on that rooftop to leap into my life, and be with me eternally.

I can't wait to share the rest of my life with her as husband and wife.

I should probably go, so I don't wake Yami up.. I just wanted to share that with you. I'm so proud of what I've found, and I'm so happy she is in my life.

I really am crazy about this neko. Die-hard crazy about her..

~A

Aug. 31st

If you're wondering, no, I didn't burn the place down. The house is still intact. Which is a total relief, because I'd hate to burn her house down at such an early point in the relationship. Isn't that more of a .. four or five month anniversary thing in Rhydin? The stuff here is trippy, I need to get my facts straightened out.

Well, what can I say.

Last night Yami and I were talking for a little while about my beach idea. She seems so thrilled to actually go through with it. I told her that if she had high interest in going to the beach, and what not, that we could actually just get married while we were out there, too. I mean, we're both so in love with one another.. to the point that, really, all we want to do is start our lives together in unison...

Well, we certainly didn't wait for the full plans to be made, there, on the spot. We snuck out the back door to have an extremely exciting evening just between us.

This morning was nothing out of the ordinary. I decided I was going to seek out some shelving ideas. .. well, because Yami broke a shelf in the kitchen where she had a bunch of pans laid out. I'm not quite sure how she did that.. but nonetheless, I wanted to surprise her by fixing it, before too long. Yama is really not going to be happy if he discovers it. I don't think I'll be sly enough to find an exact replica of the one broken.. but I can at least repair the damage. It shouldn't be too severe.

I don't think.

While I was out, though.. Aka came running my way.. telling me something about Lain and Jewell getting into it.

Again.

I don't have any connection between those two, anymore.. but I still worry about them. They were both part of my life, and I do still look towards them as friends, should they really need someone to talk to.

I just hope that Lain didn't start some big to-do, to try and relieve some tension. She already lashed out at me.. she's just making her rounds?

Aka said she wasn't so sure that the fight even had to do with me. Lain kept denying the fact, or something. But if it's denying a fact.. it's still a fact. I don't really know. They've been so ticked off at once another for a long time. This is just another one of their involvements... I guess.

Well.. in any case.. earlier today was a little weird, too.

Everything was perfectly normal. We met up to go see some people at the inn, and actually announce our marriage to some of the people that we really have found a connection with. Jade was there, for starters, so we had wanted to tell her. I guess she heard last night, though.

Well.. and I don't really remember how it came up, now.. but Yami just.. kind of said something to me today that was a little hurtful.

I mean, I never would actually announce that what she said hurt.. but, well.. she said something along the lines of, "I haven't exactly been accepted with open arms when it comes to you."

Like.. all this stuff that is entirely out of my control is .. hurting her. She completely voided it, later, by simply telling me all she wants to do is be with me, despite all of this nonsense talk that is going on. Which just.. none of it should matter. I'm ignoring it because none of it is really any bit true. Not when it comes to her, and it hasn't been for several years prior to.

But people see one thing, and that's what they stick with. .. that's fine. I can fully accept it. Fully accept it. But if she's being upset by it.. I just can't ignore it.

But I don't know what I can do to fix it. I'd do anything and everything under the sun for her, too. I mean, I spend every last second with her, because I can't be away from her. My mind can't do anything but think on her, because my heart misses her so. .. much like it does, right now.

I dunno what to think about it, really.

I'll just have to try harder, for her. Nothing will break this up, regardless of what people assume, or think. I don't care if they roll their eyes, or just assume this is another 'thing' for me to have. They don't know. They never could. They never will.

None of them are perfect. None of them have lead a perfect past. And just because they think they are in a better place, now, doesn't mean I'm not allowed that same leisure. I accept their happiness, and I'm truly happy for them. .. can't they just allow me, that, too..?

I love her. So much. Whole-heartedly, and without a single question about it, or regret about it.

.. I won't let her feel any kind of pain, or grief from other people. I've vowed to her that I would protect her, and her heart, with my life. .. I've vowed. I promised. And I rarely, if ever, break something such as that. Not a promise such as this.

On a plus note, it looks like our wants and needs to be excluded from that gossip column went without a hitch. Lain is still mention as "the other woman", but even Yami and I have been left out. I think that will help her feel a little better. I know it probably would make her smile to see something nice written about us. Because we're both so very proud of our feelings.

But, we're not always able to get what we'd really like. What I know we can have is.. each other. And I truly intended to be there for her, at the end of each day. No matter what.

Sept. 3rd

Six days and counting. God, I can't wait..

We were talking more about the wedding, last night. She has some tremendous ideas when it comes to her and I away from the public eye. .. she knows exactly what to say, what to do, to get me all riled up. Just thinking about it now is making me... oo, I don't even want to write it. That's just for ME!

I won't ever say this enough - but Yami. Is. Amazing. Every second I'm apart from her, the more I feel I'm just madly, madly, crazy madly in love with her. She's so .. she's just so .. amazing! God, I wish I could just find this perfect word for her. But .. all I can say is that she's so amazing, in my life, and that won't ever change..

Well, I should probably inform you of some goods, here:

1) I invited Lain over Jewell. Deciding on it some, I just don't see how I couldn't invite Lain, over Jewell. I know that nothing was really happening with Lain.. but I've felt closer to her than I ever really did with Jewell. She's more like a really good friend. Usually. I know Yami doesn't really mind who comes, just as long as they don't try to ruin our event. I don't think Jewell would anymore than Lain.. but I can't have them both there. No way.

2) SIX DAYS!!

Yesterday, Yami and I spent an amazing few hours looking through her photo album. From pictures of her as a little child, to nearly several years before today. I swear, her eyes... everything about them.. they are the most attractive set I have ever seen. Even in the pictures, I find myself engrossed with them, losing myself in them. Like, as though those pictures are her.. staring out towards me. As though she knew I was going to be looking at her, later in life! Aw.. and she's so adorable, too. She resembles her mother, so much.. they're both so very beautiful.

I have no question that Yami's soul was taken from her mother. She's so sweet, and innocent.. pure, really. Like she couldn't really harm a person in the world, unless she was cornered into doing so. She's just so extremely generous, and sweet... always looking out for me, too.

I asked her if she liked the idea of adding some of our pictures to her album. There are some in there where she looks so beautiful, but she's not smiling all that much. I really want her to have a few pictures of our time, together.. where she's truly happy. She liked the idea, and I think we're going to have some done at the wedding.. which all I can say is.. I'm happy for. The one thing I'd love more than anything is to have my own album with someone.. with pictures of her and I, we can have some constant memories of each other. Then again, our entire lives will be one big happy memory.

I guess that's why when I appeared in the market and saw her fighting.. I almost lost it. I thought someone was trying to do something to her.. man, that could have gone bad. I already felt myself losing control of that power. .. can't let that happen, either. It'd really end in mass .. problems. Thankfully, she kind of kept me in check by looking my way and really showing me that she knew I was present.

It was some kind of spar, I guess. .. she wasn't hurt. So, I'm thankful..

I really love her. If she ever got hurt?.. It'd be over someone's head. I will not let anybody harm her. I vowed to protect her, to love her, to always keep her close in my heart. I will not back down from that. That is my love to her, my real way.

I refuse any other way.

..by the way, did you know? SIX DAYS!!!

~A

Sept. 22nd

Training. And more training.

Getting ready to take off in a little bit. Going to inform Yami what the deal is.

The point is, if Aka is in trouble, then I've just -got- to go after her. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. And I know Lain is going out there, but god only knows when she'll manage to get where she needs to. I'm not going to try and reach her, either.

Do I have a direction? Well, not yet. I suppose I will have to, once again, go back to that town and scour the school. If they have a base, I'll find it.

I just have to.

I'm going to give it at least another few days. Let these arms of mine heal and see what kind of power I can release from them. If nothing else, I'll have to ask for Rodrigo to play a support role.

Till then,
Alex