Topic: The Not-So-Handy Man

Molly · Date: 2006-10-09 13:28 EST

For the fourth time that morning, a seagull flew in through the kitchen door, landed on the counter and snatched one of Molly?s freshly baked cookies. She rushed over to swat it with the broom, but she was too late. The bird escaped through the same door by which it had entered ? the kitchen door that had been broken for weeks. It swooped away like a scandalous villain, flapping its wings smugly as it soared into the sky to feast on one the chocolate chip cookies Molly had slaved over. She stood in the kitchen doorway, glaring at the bird, hands clenched into fists, a look of indignant fury on her face.

Molly collected herself and set about making a huge, gourmet, luxurious breakfast tray, complete with blueberry pancakes, scrambled eggs, grits, hash browns, toast, and a tall glass of milk. She carried the tray upstairs toward Skyler?s bedroom and knocked twice. No reply came, so the maid let herself inside.

Skyler was sprawled out in the middle of the king size mattress, laying on his stomach, his limbs spread out in all different directions like a starfish. His head was tilted to the side, mouth slightly open as he snoozed. Molly glanced at his bedside clock and noted that it was 11:30, much too late to be in bed.

Holding the tray before her, she moved to the edge of the mattress and put on her prettiest smile.

Softly, in her sweetest tone of voice, she said, ?Skyler . . . Skyler . . .Good morning, Skyler. Do you remember how you told me a few weeks ago that you?d fix the kitchen door? Well, I just thought you might need a big hearty breakfast to help power those big strong muscles of yours while you worked!?

Skyler · Date: 2006-10-09 20:38 EST

The smell of those blueberry pancakes woke him before Molly even began to speak. Skyler opened his eyes and leaned toward the tray, like a flower leaning toward sunlight. Food. He licked his lips and rubbed his eyes, nearly salivating as the aroma coursing through his nostrils generated a fierce stomach growl.

The maid?s words went in one ear and out the other. He didn?t even try to comprehend what she said. Food. The food was all that mattered. His first and only priority was to get the contents of that breakfast tray inside his stomach. Without even a glance at Molly ? his eyes were glued to the food ? he sat up, took the tray from her and placed it in his lap.

Without a word of thanks he began to grub. Molly continued speaking to him, but all Skyler wanted her to do now was shut up and leave him alone to eat, so he just nodded to whatever the hell she was saying and waved her out of the room.

Sitting on his king sized mattress in his pajamas with his fluffy blankets and pillows scattered around him, Skyler ate his breakfast in bed like a spoiled prince. For the most part he neglected the fork and knife Molly had provided. Good manners were out the door, as the boy used his fingers whenever necessary, scarfing down the pancakes, eggs, toast, hash browns and grits in a matter of minutes.

Skyler gorged himself. He ate every last bite of food the tray had contained, then downed the tall glass of milk in one long series of thirsty gulps. A moist belch croaked out of him as he placed the empty tray on the nightstand.

Feeling bloated and happy and relaxed, Skyler snuggled back down into his mattress, burrowed under the blankets and promptly fell back asleep, mouth agape, snoring softly. One thing was for sure -- the sleeping boy was entirely oblivious to whatever task Molly had wanted him to complete.

Molly · Date: 2006-10-12 01:32 EST

After forty-five minutes had passed by and she hadn?t heard a sound from the master bedroom, Molly began to get flustered. She marched up to the bedroom and breezed inside without knocking. And what did she find? The spoiled prince himself sprawled across the bed, sound asleep.

She stood there staring at him, shoulders heaving, fists clenched. ?SKYLER!? She climbed onto the bed, rifling through blankets and pillows, trying to uncover him. ?You?re really testing my patience. I made you that nice breakfast, and all I?m asking you to do is fix the kitchen door like you said you were going to do THREE WEEKS AGO!?

She grabbed his arm and shook him fiercely, trying to wake him up.

Skyler · Date: 2006-10-13 00:59 EST

He was vaguely aware of Molly shaking him and shouting, but it seemed to be coming from some far off place. Skyler was at peace, his huge tasty breakfast digesting in his belly. It made him feel like he weighed five hundred pounds, and that he could sleep for as many years.

But Molly kept shaking and shaking him, growing more insistent by the moment. Finally he opened one eye, just barely enough to look at her. He listened as closely as he could to her ravings while still remaining half asleep. He thought he understood what she was trying to tell him; some chore, some pointless, bothersome chore! The woman dared wake him up with trivial matters like that? Couldn?t she see he was trying to snore off his breakfast?

With no intention of getting out of his bed for several more hours, Skyler did the best he could to get rid of the woman. ?Gasher,? he mumbled. ?Get Gasher to do it . . . I?m busy. . . ? His eyelids slipped closed. Yet Molly kept shaking him! ?Gasher said he would do it . . .? More drowsy mumbling. ?Tell him I said he had to do it . . . Get Gasher . . .go away. . .out of my room. . .?

He buried his face in the pillow and ignored her.