Topic: Batatas a Murro

Nope

Date: 2015-04-16 19:51 EST
There once was a bird named Batata. He was a beautiful harlequin macaw who spoke three languages and possessed an uncanny ability to mimic all of the wrong things. Amidst his verbal arsenal were such jewels as "tittywhiskers" "mangofart" and "sweatermeat."

Rude, loud and an incurable flirt, Batata's only real cheerleader was his mistress, who rewarded his more repugnant behaviours with fruit and cheese; treats that he repaid with love and nuzzles and evil winks over her shoulder to his arch nemesis, Bart Fitzroy.

Why 'was' instead of 'is'? Did Bart finally snap and throw him into the clothes dryer?

The answer is no. Batata has escaped. He has, pardon the pun, flown the coup, leaving Mona absolutely crestfallen. The open window is the obvious bet concerning Batata's means to freedom, but grief is not so easy. She turns from the empty cage she's been staring at helplessly for an hour now and points an accusing finger at Bart. He looks up from the car manual he's flipping through, his brows inching towards his hairline.

"If you had not flipped him the bird all those times then he would not have run away!"

"What the Mona!?" He cries out, full of the knowledge that A) yeah, he might have shot the bird..the bird, and B) Batata and his pea-sized brain are incapable of being offended. "I was scratching my nose! He flew out the window, dude!"

Mona frowns and then stomps passed him to grab her purse from its hook by the door. "Whatever. I have to find him. What if he's lost? Scared? What if.."

"...someone's strangled him?" Adds Bart, if only to get a rise out of the girl.

She shoves her fists down to her sides, shoulders hunched to her cheeks, eyes narrowed and her mouth pursed tightly. "I'll find him with or without you, escroto. I would help you if one of your cars ran away!"

His snort coincides with her slamming the door. "Yeah..like cars can.."

Wait. Rhy'Din. He hurries to the window to not only watch Mona disappear down the sidewalk- her back half as delicious as her front- but to also make sure his Mustang hasn't, for whatever reason, decided to amscray on him.

A sigh of relief escapes him when he spots it in the driveway.

(Bart used with permission.)

Duh

Date: 2015-04-17 00:40 EST
"So you drag me out of bed at this ungodly hour.."

"It's eight o'clock at night," Mona chimes in, her face pressed against the passenger side window of his crappy Sierra.

Nathan, his hair sticking up at odd angles, blinks and stares at the road in front of them. "Seriously? Eight?" He shakes his head, continues to stew; ornery old soul. "Either way..maybe you should get a phone and call before whirlwinding it into my room? For you all you know I might have had someone over."

Mona's shoulders begin to twitch and she tries, really she does, to keep her laughter at bay. But it escapes and overwhelms what force of will she has, leaving her shaking and the corners of her eyes dotted with pink tears.

Glowering, his brow furrowed and his shoulders touching his cheeks, Nathan barks at his sister in such a tone that she very nearly takes him seriously. Almost. "Go ahead and laugh it up, you evil little demon. Making fun of me isn't going to find Potato."

She sniffles, snickers, and wipes her eyes on the sleeve of her jacket.

"Batata."

"Same thing! Now think, alright? Most escaped pet birds kinda hang out near their houses. Did you look everywhere?"

Mona nods and touches her forehead to the window's cool glass. "Sim. It is not like him to stray. I leave out food and water and his favorite toys and still no sign of him."

Nathan frowns and cuts his eyes towards her. "There's a bird sanctuary somewhere in Old Temple. We'll try there first, alright?"

He can see her smile reflected in the window. "Okay okay. Nathan?"

"Yeah?"

"Obrigado."

He's chuffed and it shows. Nathan is never so handsome as he is when he's happy. "N?o faz mal, Mona."

Duh

Date: 2015-04-17 00:53 EST
Bart is incredibly high; so high that giraffes would have to look up to see him. He stands in front of the trio of windows overlooking the ocean in their back yard and just sort of...spaces out.

He thinks about how peaceful the house is without Mona's parrot terrorizing everything. He thinks about how soft the fur of Hallah's skull feels against his palm. He thinks of these things but he ignores the very profound missingness that Mona's absence has left. Like a hole in a bucket.

Frick missed Frack.

Canting his head to one side and looking down at the giant dog lying at his feet, his grin paid in full with a goofy doggy smile, Bart sighs the sigh of the utterly bored.

"How about I throw stuff and you bring it back to me, huh?"

Hallah slams her upped body onto the ground, her rear stuck straight into the air while her uber duster of a tail wags with such force that it sends her slipping from side to side. Chuckling, Bart heads for the door and grabs her favorite toy- a beleaguered rubber chicken- from the umbrella stand by the coat-rack.

One squeak is all it takes and the massive dog nearly knocks him over in her rush to make it outside.

Nope

Date: 2015-04-17 21:43 EST
Somewhere in the outskirts of the Glen, where the roads are more or less paths that dragons have stomped down, Nathan's Sierra gives up the ghost. It does not die quietly, no, and goes out with a shake, rattle, roll. After fiddling under the hood for an hour and trying his best not to breathe in the acrid black smoke rolling from the engine, Nathan wipes his hands off on the hankerchief he carries in his pockets and goes to find Mona.

He finds her sitting on a rock, fingering a bright green parrot's feather.

"Huh. Any sign of the bird?" He sits down next to her and listens to the chaotic melody of the Glen's night creatures.

She shakes her head and slips the feather behind her ear, leavings it end to jut from her hair. "No." The little monster sighs and lets her head roll from one shoulder to the other. "Any luck with your piece of crap car?"

"Negative. Looks like it threw a rod, which..ya know..my bad."

"What now?"

"Now? We take a break, figure out what we're going to do. I'm getting tired of the looks I get screaming Batata out the window." A beat and then. "Why Batata?"

Mona turns her head and tunes her ears on the distant roar of an engine. "I didn't name him. Meu amigo Isidoro did. If you knew him then it would make sense. He raised Batata from a little baby, and you can tell because children always mimic their parents, you know?"

Nathan smiles his gentle, calming smile and closes his eyes. "So Isidoro gave him to you?"

"Sim. He had him for fifteen anos before Batata was sent to me. Kind of a keepsake I guess. I listen to Batata and I can hear him."

They sit there for a while longer just basking in the company of one another, each only slightly aware that the sound of the engine isn't distant anymore.

A brown haired girl with one blue eye and one green hangs out of the door of an old pick-up truck, her face and neck and arms covered in freckles; her smile mischievous.

"Well look what I done found! You guys need a ride somewhere?" The former graverobber looks Mona over. "Sun'll be up in 'bout two hours. Y'all can stay at the farm if ya want."

Nathan blinks, bristles, and only relaxes when Mona's smile reflects her familiarity with the girl. "Nathan, this is Cuyler Quinn. Cuyler, this is my brother."

Cuyler's eyes grow as wide as sauce pans. "For rizzle? Holy ! Weirder though, right? Come on now you two, don't want my best customer catchin' on fire! And Nathan, if'n you're not a fang banger then I make some killer steak."

Nathan only nods, and when he stands when Mona finds her feet. Customer? Mona catches the question, unvoiced, and winks at him before hoisting herself up into the truck and snuggling up to its driver.

"It's a...pleasure to meet you, Cuyler." And he shuffles in after Mona and keeps close to the door, one brow ticking up when their hostess pulls a spliff from her pocket and lights up.

"Likewise, Nathan. You partake?" She offers the spliff to him. Nathan stares at it until a rabbit punch from his sister brings him back around. He smiles.

"Indeed I do."

Nope

Date: 2015-04-19 15:35 EST
They're all laughing over some filthy joke when Mona's phone begins beeping. While Nathan and Cuyler repack the hooka, Mona stares at her phone's screen.

Text to Mona: Batata @ inn. He's yelling @ me. might fly &/or take my eyes if try to catch.

Excited and relieved, she snaps her head around to the two misfits next to her and holds her phone out while crowing happily. "Zofie has found Batata!"

"Hey! That's great! She caught him?" Nathan asks. Mona stares back at the words, her brows furrowing, and shakes her head. "No. Not yet."

Text to Zofie: u found him? He okay? He is easy to catch. Tell him ? hora de comer

"Ya know Nathan, I really dig what you're doin' with your face,'' drawls Cuyler to a startled Nathan. She smiles and he eyes the golden tooth where a pre-molar used to be. "Uh, thank you?"

Text to Mona: Didn't work. Earned stink-eye + hiss.


"No luck!" Mona calls out, and Nathan is thankful for the distraction. "Zofie'll come through, Mona. And if she doesn't then we'll get him, you'll see."

He nods to drive his point home and continues to nod when his sister looks away and the leer that Cuyler has gifted him with catches his attention. The freckled lass, comely in that mean as hell sort of way, scoots closer to him. "Ever dug up dead people?"

Text to Mona: Now he's in lap. Let him be or gather him up?

Nathan swallows hard and quickly looks to his sister. "Mona! Heeeyyy..Mona!?"

..only to watch hold up her index finger, effectively silencing him. "Shh. I am texting Zofie."

Text to Zofie: Try to gather him

A swipe of her finger across the SEND button and turns to regard her brother and her friend/dealer. "Cuyler. You do not hit on someone by bringing up grave robbing."

Cuyler crosses her arms over her chest, closes her eyes and throws her head back with an almost lady-like humph!. Nathan just stares. "G-g-grave robber?"

"Nathan! You are ruining my concentration!"

Because she's forgotten to tell Zofie one crucial thing, and she hopes the text doesn't reach the Cavalier too late. This doesn't stop Nathan from looking confused.

Text to Zofie: WHATEVER U DO DO NOT GRAB HIM!!!!@!!

Text to Mona: too late bird wrath owowowowowowow

Frustrated with worry, Mona drags her hand down her face when Zofie's reply scrolls across the screen.

Text to Zofie: Oh no Zofie I hope u are ok. Obrigada for ur help though. I will make it up to u.

While the gears change across the room and Nathan sits leaning towards Cuyler now, fascinated by the tales of her ressurectionist past, Mona moves to her feet and grabs her coat, pausing briefly when her phone beeps.

Text to Mona: I'll be fine. Still wish I got him for you. you don't have to do anything for me, but if you want to, I'm all for it!

Once she's in her coat, Mona drops the phone into her pocket. Nathan is already standing, his expression both grateful and apologetic. "It was nice to meet you, Cuyler. Maybe we'll meet up again! I'd love to hear more.."

Cuyler snickers and nods, though she doesn't hint at the surprise she feels. "Yeah yeah, sure thing. Good luck catchin' that bird."

Mona nods and makes a grab for Nathan's hand, misses and ends up clutching a fistfull of his hoodie's sleeve.

"We don't have a car", he barks, to which his sister simply rolls her eyes and keeps leading him along.

"We do not need one. The Bird Sanctuary has one of those shuttle things.."

Nope

Date: 2015-04-23 01:42 EST
The shuttle to the bird sanctuary is surprisingly empty, save for one haggard looking guide and a smattering of chatty old folk. As the guide rambles off the sort of birds that take up residence there, Nathan's stomach growls, earning stares from not only the elderly people and Mona, but the guide as well. A brief distraction before continues his talk of wyvernhawks and some bird unfortunate enough to be gifted the name of 'bustard'.

Mona looks out of the window for just a second to watch New Haven pass by, but the rattle of cellophane next to her draws her attention back to her brother. A second look. Nathan is eating a cinnamon bun.

"Where did you get that?"

"My pocket."

"What else do you have in there?"

A charming smile from the man is followed by a finger to his lips. Shhh. If you have to ask then you'll never know.

Left to silently piece together puzzle of Nathan's Pockets O' Holding, Mona comes to just as the santuary comes into a view. It is a huge glass domed affair filled with plants she recognizes- palms and oaks and banana trees- growing side by side with foliage that she doesn't; great gnarled pink things, huge black trunk trees with neon leaves, etc.

The same goes for the birds, once they're inside. Both siblings gawk at the lovely rainbow feathers of a small griffin that is no larger than a housecat, sharing a branch with a bright eyed starling. Birds shot through with neon mingle with eclectis parrots and terns.

"I feel like I'm having an acid trip," comments Nathan once they're inside. He licks the icing from his fingers and looks around.

Suddenly a large creature with the beak of an eagle on the body of a robin flits by Nathan's ear, it's raspy cry of "Sharkdangle!" barely audible but still hard to miss.

Then they watch as something amazing happens. Throughout the sanctuary come cries of sweatermeat mangofart and a series of profanities that give one of the old women behind them a case of the vapors.

The siblings look to one another, and in unison they deduce "Batata has been here."

The guide saunters up behind them. "Damndest thing, ain't it? Had visitor a few nights back. Pretty harlequin macaw, but by god he taught the birds to talk. Even the ones that normally can't."

A sparrow lands on a low-hanging branch just above Nathan's head, ruffles it feathers and happily tweets Spunkbucket! before flying away again.

"Is the parrot still here?" Mona asks, hope bright in her pale eyes.

The guide shakes his head and stomps a foot towards a waddling purple pudding of a bird. "Can't say he is. My boss was really mad. I think it's kinda funny."

Nathan places a hand between Mona's shoulder, worries when she tenses up, relaxes only when she does. "It's something though, right? He was here."

Mona doesn't say a word, but she pulls away from her brother and heads out, this time opting to walk the rest of the way back home. Pulling a twinkie from his pocket, Nathan sighs, nod his thanks to the guide, and follows after the girl.

Duh

Date: 2015-04-25 22:55 EST
"You found him? Hey, that's..wait, what's a Tegan?"

Nathan keeps the phone cradled between his shoulder and his ear, his hands reoccupied with packing his sparse belongings in a series of secondhand but sturdy blue suitcases.

"Freaky..tall..elf..alien..vampire," it takes him a moment to process what his sister is saying, but then, lips pursed together, he nods. Nathan's motto is slowly but surely becoming yeah. Sounds legit.

"Me? I think I got a flat in Old Temple." He holds two mismatched socks up to the light. "...sure. You can visit once I get everything settled. Bring Bart along. Yeah..well, you're welcome, Mona. I'm glad you found your bird. Alright..see ya."

He tries to turn off his sock in lieu of his phone, finally gets it right and then just stares straight ahead at the rat perched over his door.

"You, however, are not allowed over, Bertram."