?Is Octobre twenty-sixteen. Hn...come t'tink of it, wha' is d'name a d'calendar munts 'ere? Note t'self, ask at d'welcome centre. Eh, dun really matter...?

A shift and shuffle were picked up on the tape recorder held in Luc's hand as he took a seat on his couch to continue, giving a sigh before speaking again into the hand held device.

?Filled m'last journal book some munt' or two ago...so 'til I finds a stationary store or someting 'ere in Rhy'din, guess I jus' record d'goin' ons wit dis ol' ting. Problem is, like always, where t'start.?

Luc muttered and rubbed his hand over his face a moment, letting out a heavy sigh.

?Been spendin' mo' time wit Elise as a late. Which, while nice...makes me feel guilty someting fierce. I mean...I likes d'girl, I truly does: she funny, she kind, she got a wild side but...she 'uman. Completely, mundanely 'uman. No powers. I dun even tink d'girl's taken a lady's self-defense class at 'er school. An' deaf on top a dat so she already start at a disadvantage. It make me worry pretty much constantly on 'er. 'Specially wit dem murders dat 'appen recently an' dis 'ole 'Umanity First movement.?

He made a drawn out teeth sucking sound of annoyance as his thoughts moved to the current political situation in the strange universe he now called home. Even if the position didn't hold any real power, it was still a podium for preaching.

?I do kinda support dis movement...'umans really do need a safe place t'be 'ere an' wit all dese udder creatures, monsters or whatever runnin about, dey in danger pretty much all a d'time. But....when y'start segregatin' folks an' preachin' about 'ow one sort bein' better den anudder jus' cause a deir race is when real trouble start. Always 'ow it go in d'past. Never end well.?

A pause for a moment as he mulled over the events of the past that seemed rather similar to the current situation before he shook his head.

?Any a way....guess we see wha'appens wit d'election dat come to a end t'night if I gotta worry on it more or forget 'bout it.?

A heavy sigh followed by a grunt as he pushed himself back to his feet to slowly roam around his empty apartment.

?Udder tings on my mind. Hn....still ain't got a reply from Roche. Probably never will neither. She make it pretty clear after all where I sit in d'grand scheme a tings in 'er life. Which would be no where. Girl's got enough fellas t'pick from t'ave 'er fun wit anyway. Dun need t'waste no energy pretendin' t'care fo' a sad sack of a vampire dat got too attached.?

Another teeth sucking sound of annoyance at events that had happened over the last few months then sighed once again as he scratched his fingernails roughly into his chestnut hair with his free hand.

?My own fault doh, ya. Lotta tings dat 'appen is cause a my gettin' too attached t'folks dat I know I shouldn't. Certainly went dat way wit Salome too.?

He gave a brief bark of a laugh, though it certainly wasn't an amused one, more of a curt harsh one.

?Saw 'er d'udder night...still filled wit a burnin' 'ate fo' wha' she did t'my car. I still dun tink she really realize wha' dat car means t'me. Dat it represent startin' over...physical representation of d'oat' I make. Seein' it at d'bottom a d'lake felt like...dohs times would come back now dat it was gone. Dat all d'anger an' 'ate an' violence would come t'stay again. Dat I be a monster again. Maybe is why I so desperate t'get 'er fixed back up again....t'try an' salvage dat.?

Another teeth sucking sound and a snort at a thought.

?I tink even if Salome did know, she wouldn't give two licks a carin'.?

He gave a frustrated sound and rubbed his hand over his face.

?Why do I gotta feel a burnin' want fo people dat A) already got someone or B) ain't wantin' me back? Merde. I got a sweet ting dat like me an' 'ere all I can do is pine like some sorta love dumb drama brat fo' women dat jus' use me??

Another teeth sucking sound and a moment of silence before a defeated sigh was picked up and he flopped back down on his couch.

?I know I ain't innocent of it neither. Usin' someone t'kill d'loneliness off for even jus' a li'l while feel nice.....but I dun wanna use Elise....she deserve better den dat.?

"Kaaaay....dat's weird. Right queer fo true..."

The sound of brown paper wrapping being crumpled and thrown into a kitchen step pedal trash bin was picked up by the tape recorder.

"I get 'ome t'night after votin' an' stoppin' by Teas t'chat wit Elise an' dere in front a my door's a journal book. A right pretty fancy one too, leather bound wit a bird a some sort on it....not a clue 'oo a sent it neither."

He looked at the peice of paper that had come with his new journal.

"'Never be captive t'yo tauts. I 'ope dis is fittin' an' y'find solace in it.' Is a note was left in it fo' me. No name, no from. Weird ting t'put in a journal I tink...cause ain't dey fo' capturin' tauts?....right strange....dere was a white fedder wit it too...look like a big bird too but I ain't ever seen a white one dis big befo'."

He turned the white raven feather over looking at the front and the back before rolling the quill between his thumb and forefinger.

"Dang mystery...maybe was miss Bella? She already give me a gift outta no where doh. A book. Not bad so far...dunno wha' is got t'do wit Prometheus like she say but I did only skim it. Maybe I start givin' it a real read tru tomorrow."

He made a noise in his throat, setting the feather down and picking up the leather book again before heading over to his couch to flop,

"...but...I would tink she'd jus' gimme it in person. I tink everyone I know would a given it to me in person....but den, why would a stranger send me a journal when I dun tell folk about m'writin'?....my life get weirder..."

Another Lonely Night
by Adam Lambert

Alone in the dark, hole in my heart, turn on the radio
And the words fall out, but they got no place to go
Wasted on you, high on the fumes
Know I should let you go
But the world won't stop
And all I got is your ghost, oh, oh oh

Another day, another lonely night
I would do anything to have you by my side
Another day, another lonely night
Don't wanna throw away another lonely life

No time to sleep, all that I see, are old memories of you
Yeah I try my best, but there's no one left for me to lose
Tear in my eye, I drive through the night, as far as I can from you
And I don't give a f*** if the sun comes up, yeah
It's just another

Another day, another lonely night
I would do anything to have you by my side
Another day, another lonely night
Don't wanna throw away another lonely life

No I don't give a f*** if the sun comes up, yeah
It's just another

Another day, another lonely night
I would do anything to have you by my side
Another day, another lonely night
Don't wanna throw away another lonely life

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShF8rOSammE

A heavy sigh and some grumbles before Luc rubbed his hand over his face, calmed down and able to form cohearant thoughts now.

"Was nice t'see Salome t'night at least...even if it was a li'l 'ard. I feel like I can't really trust 'er like I did befo...I wanna but I jus' keep gettin' 'urt."

Another annoyed sigh.

"Is all m'own fault doh. I AM a wuss. I AM annoying. Maybe I jus' keep outta touch...maybe she were 'appier when we weren't talkin'? Doubt Salome would miss me if I did disappear, all tings considered. 'Specially wit 'er cowboy fella 'round. She dun need a whiney friend like me dat gets all bent outta shape cause some couyon go an' give an opinion I dun like t'ear...even if it were true like."

A more weary sigh escaped.

"I see now why she ain't left Rhy'din after all, ya...she ain't got dat all vexed wit me 'bout a tussle wit a fella since Cris. Usually she jus' laugh an' joke like d'udder girls do, not get all into it like dat t'break us up. So, safe bet dey knockin' boots. An' if not...well...I know for true she like 'im someting fierce wha' wit dat reaction an' all. Certainly got a bunch in common."

Luc snorted then sighed again, shifting in his seat on the couch.

"Merde. Dis place is supposed t'be a place t'start over-like so why I still acting like a dumb **** like dat? Tch...maybe after Roche is back in Rhydin an' safe, I disappear for a time. Jus' save everyone d'trouble a dealin' wit me til I can grow a ticker shell...I jus..."

He grit his teeth and was quiet a moment before he murmured.

"I jus' dun wanna grow one too good an' tick-like dat I turn d'umanity off again...maybe dat anudder reason I not gone trackin' down d'folks in Nawlins...I afeared dat if I does, I kill dem an' if I do dat..."

A pause to swallow back some of the dread that crept up; the urges that were squashed down that the predator monster he had been turned into hungered for. That he kept buried and denied.

"....dat if I start....I ain't gunna wanna stop again."

A heavy sigh as he rubbed his hand over his face again.

"Guess we see wha' 'appen...maybe I call Salome an' find out wha'all she know 'bout d'situation an' get dat fella Rob's number t'chat wit' 'im. If no a ting else, least suggest some places t'look. But, if 'e d'fella dat took 'er t'visit Nawlin's d'last time, den 'e probly already know d'area well an' good an' dun need my 'elp....but if 'e ain't right in d'ead like Salome tinkin'..."

Another heavy sigh followed by a frustrated sound.

"Merde."

"I might be a foo...but I went on over t'd'pound an picked up a pup...gunna surprise gift'im t'Elise t'night. Cute li'l fella. All black shepherd pup, big paws, pointy ears, gaw."

A high pitched barky yip that only a puppy could make was picked up on the recorder and he laughed.

"Ya huh, I talkin' bout'chu pup. Dun y'go piddlin' on my clothes dere now."

Luc had deposited the puppy into a basket of his laundry to hide the little ball of energy and surprise Elise with.

"An' no matter 'ow cute y'is, I ring yo li'l neck if y'mess up in my car."

This to the dog before a thought struck him

"Oh ya! finally got m'baby fixed up. Probably woulda been d'1st I finished up, took Elise fo a ride. Still gotta give one t'Zynny an' Roach if she....when she get back."

Luc cleared his throat, not wanting to think the worst for his friend but it had been near on a month since she'd gone missing, hadn't it?

"Uh...aaaany a way. Ya. So...I dunno where dis'll go. Wit givin' dis li'l guy t'Elise, if she'll even want 'im...she got a lotta school work an' such...Gah....maybe I jus' an idiot."

He scratched his fingers hard into his hair and looked over to the puppy that was giving little 'fearsome' growls as he burrowed the laundry in the hamper he was corralled in that sat on the passenger seat of Luc's Mustang.

"...Well fella...if she dun want'cha...I guess I'll keep ya cause, gaw, y'adorable ya."

"Jus' gunna say it.....Jus' 'bout kill two men t'night. Like 'onest an' true...no jus' a disagreement or passin' tiff but murderous intent..."

Luc's voice is tight with anger as he paced the rented Inn room with the sun just thinking of rising.

"...I get a call from Elise at some 2am or so...I never gunna get a call like dat again, I make sure a dat. Pretty sure dohs cowards get d'point after I disarm one...literally."

He snorted at his dark humor before clarifying for himself.

"Okay...maybe no d'ole arm but 'e gunna be 'avin' a right b***h a time clappin' movin' foward, ya."

The vampire made a teeth sucking sound of annoyance, quiet for a moment after as he sat, the slight squeak of springs giving with the weight.

"...ain't felt dat much anger for a time...not like dat. If dey 'ad 'urt 'er...I dun tink I woulda stopped at d'and...an' den I dunno if I woulda stopped a tall...I woulda gotten lost in d'blood again I tink..."

The sound of a door creaking open and shutting and Ruger the little black shepherd puppy yipping excitedly at his returning owner in the background.

"...I dun wanna lose wha I got startin' 'ere...I'm actually 'appy fo once..."

"Elise spoil me someting wicked, I tell y'wha." A happy little groan was given and a grin following after it, "Dat girl...I suwanne, I fallen again. No doubt 'bout dat now."

"Tonight was made of suck. Like...quite literally made outta it." Luc rubbed his hand over his face, making a muffled sound into the personal recorder.

"Only good ting I learn dis week? Dat Roche...Lizzie....She alive an' safe an' back in' Rhy'din. Everyting else dis week? Made. Of. Suck."

He sighed, flopping down on his couch and stretched out. Elise was doing homework as per usual in the other room, giving him time alone to record his thoughts.

"...Is good t'know cause I doubt I ever gunna 'ear from 'er again...I dun screwed up someting fierce wit dat girl..." The vampire gave a groan and covered his eyes, feeling a knot in his stomach. He'd gone over and over the events of the earlier hours in his head and realized that it had been all his fault. The encounter with the dred headed firestarter going south was all his fault and he couldn't ever fix it properly. It had most likely cost him his friendship with the girl and that, most of all, was what was crushing him. That he'd hurt her heart with his boneheaded actions.

"...She's a good sort deep down...under all dat rough an' tough. I shoulda kept m'damn mout shut on wha I were feelin'. Shoulda jus' left it as it was...not drag up ol' feelin's dat shoulda been left in d'past...ones dat can't be acted on. Even if dey still very much alive. I love 'er...I jus'...I ain't IN love wit 'er..."

He gave another groan of frustration at another thought, "I shouldn't a kissed 'er damn neck. Why d'****?" He groaned again, reliving the moment and smacking himself repeatedly on the forehead with the heel of his hand, "Stupid, stupid, stupid...."

A heavy sigh, "...she open 'er 'eart an' bare 'er soul like dat an' I make 'er feel...gah...I dunno wha' I make 'er feel but I know she right pissed at me an' got every right t'be...I'm a shite friend...no wonder Salome got sick a me an' why d'rest jus' piss off...I screw it all up every time. Gah...'ow d'ell Elise put up wit me?"

He looked over to the dog that came trotting over, tail wagging and went to attack his face with licks since he was laying down and face level. A brief laugh before he grumbled an aside to the animal, "Get you. Go on, get." Before another sigh, "....almost lose 'er too wit openin' m'big mout 'bout wha almost 'appen wit Lizzie against dat car.......guh...but...I felt like I needed t'tell 'er. T'be 'onest wit 'er..."

A frustrated groan, "I wanted to so bad...damn me, I still wanna so bad...but I dun wanna 'urt Elise....she ain't done anyting t'd'serve me screwin' up any furder...Elise is stable an' got dat slow burnin' 'eat of a fire dat keep me warm fo' a long while. Jus' like Natalia did.... Lizzie...Lizzie, she burn 'ot an' set me alight jus' like dat." He snapped his fingers then sighed,"...But dat sorta ting....it dun last. It never do...She reminded me a me a li'l in a way. Broken inside, desperate fo' someone....I 'ope one day she find dat stable ting...I tink she need it after every ting she been trough......I know I did...do."

He thumped his head against the cushion of the couch and closed his eyes, "...good ting I ain't got no soul or I'd be goin' t'ell ten times over in d'last ten 'ours...**** me..."