One moment Elise?s eyes were closed and she could feel the firmness of her vampire lover under her; content and relaxed but when she opened her eyes to gaze up at him there was something terribly wrong. She was no longer in the flat that she now shared with Luc. She was inexplicably laying on some lush warm green grass in the same position as she had been in the comfortable bed. The faint smell of magnolia trees drifted on the hot muggy air that felt almost oppressive yet familiar to the Florida native. Looking around, Elise would find she was nude in the open though thankfully she seemed to be alone.

It was definitely something of a shock to the system when she realized what going on. At first she had thought the smells and the grass beneath her were just remnants of a dream that she couldn't remember. But when she actually opened her eyes, sat up and slapped herself good and hard, she panicked with the realization that it wasn't a dream but reality. She cursed when the realization dawned on her that she was very much as she had been in bed with Luc. Naked.

This was worse than a dream. It was like highschool when you dream about showing up to class naked. Except she was actually freaking naked! ".. Lucien?" Honey hues opened wide, looking around in desperation for the vampire that always made her feel so safe. Now she was vulnerable to the core in some foreign place. The easy going vampire was nowhere in sight and she didn't recognize the terrain.

There was no Lucien, no Ruger and no clothes. She sat in silence, lifting her hands to sift long fingers through two-toned blonde silk. It wasn't that she cared so much about her appearance so much as it was a movement of frustration in an attempt to get her bearings.

Her head cocked to the side as her jaw fell open, listening to.. talking? Wait.. she could hear people talking?! That was strange. After spending her entire adult life thus far unable to hear such things - unable to hear anything, it certainly was a surprise.

It was the sound of clip clopping hooves on the approach that got the woman moving, ducking behind the shed in all her naked glory. At least it wasn't freezing out. "Holy ****! I can hear ****." A giggle escaped, covered by her hand. This place sucked but in a way, it was awesome. She was torn between panic and awe.

The sounds of children playing grew louder as they grew closer, hitting sticks together, pretend sword fighting or some such. The hooves stopped and had she been able to hear it before, the voice that came would have been familiar and comforting in this strange dream world, ?'ey! Y'li'l lovin' foos get on ova 'e-ah an' gimme a 'ug ah? Y'know I leavin' t'morrow!" Luc slipped down off the horse at the dirt road, waiting.

While it would be familiar to anyone else, Elise had never heard his voice before. She had only ever felt the vibrations beneath her fingertips when he spoke or laughed. Seen his lips move and have the difficulty of deciphering his words through his accent. The woman peered cautiously around the shed to the source of the noises and her jaw fell open for the second time when she saw Lucien slip from the horse. There was a large part of her that wanted to run to him for safety but she had a very sickening feeling in the pit of her stomach that he did not know her here. This was so much farther than her time. That and she was naked.

She could put a voice to his face now, even though he looked the same, she knew he was far younger here. He wore the military uniform of a Confederate soldier and when she saw the kids heading over to him, they were dressed in clothes for the time as well. Luc crouched to lift the smallest, perhaps 5, up and boop on the nose with a fingertip. He wasn't pale and his hair was shorter, he was alive and happy....and had no idea what would be coming in just a little over 2 years.

Lucien's voice still rang out in her mind, over and over again, savoring and committing the beautiful sound to memory. If she remembered things when she got out of this, somehow, then she would be able to hear echo the sounds of his voice in her mind when he spoke. But this wasn't the daylighter Lucien, the coloration noted as she spied the man in the uniform. She poked her head further around the corner to get a better look, keeping the rest of her body concealed behind the shed. It wasn't like she was trying to advertise!

He ruffled another kid's hair before setting the youngest down. As he straightened again, he spotted her spying around the corner. He raised an eyebrow, curious but gave a smile and a raise of his hand in a wave, "Aftahnoon....uhh..." He cleared his throat, "I 'ope m'kin didn't interrupt any a ting back over de-ah, missy." He'd been behind that shed a few times over the years with pretty girls for kissing.

Oh, ****! At least she didn't just blurt that out. Her inner monologue remained strong for the moment as she managed an awkward smile and brought a hand up to give the man a slight wriggle of fingers. Awesome, young Lucien now thought she was a whore behind a shed neckin' with some guy. When instead she's just freaking naked! "Good afternoon." The words emerged in a silken tone laced with sun and sand, just a hint of smoke. ".. No.. just.. kind of.. um.. stuck."

He swept his hat off his head and looked concerned, "Y'needin' some 'elp den? Wait 'e-ah, ya'll." The last bit to the kids before he started over toward the shed, "Y'awrite?" Kind hearted Luc would help a damsel in distress any day of the week and any century it seemed.

Elise fell silent as she watched every movement he made closely, though those honey hues did sweep over the children with a soft smile. Adorable. Especially when they were sword playing. She cleared her throat as she tried to find the most logical way of explaining what happened without seeming like a complete and utter nutcase to the man. "I do. Now that you mention." The words rolled from her tongue slowly, like a lazy ocean that hugged the shore. "First off.. I am rather, um, indecent.." She brought her hand up to motion at his clothes, with a pointed look. Please don't make her say it in front of the children!

His steps hesitated when she said so and he blinked, looking down and scratching at the bridge of his nose with a finger, trying not to smile, "Ah...course y'is...uh..." Luc cleared his throat and turned back, "T.bo! Go an' fetch a bed linen from d'line, ya? Tout suite, boi!" One of the kids, the tallest and most likely eldest one, looked confused but shrugged and ran off, "D'resta ya'll stay on put ov-ah de-ah. Keep on playin? yo game, ya? I give a sweetie t?d?winna" He wouldn't let the kids embarrass the poor girl by seeing her in the buff. Luc peered up back at Elise, "Uh...yo fella make off wit yo clothes?"

His accent was so thick, his ?er?s sounding more like ?ah?s. Such a bland stare she gave the man though the corner of her mouth did twitch as she tried to stifle a smile. ".. There is no 'fella'. I wasn't back here.. ugh." She cut the words off before a colorful string of expletives emerged that the kids definitely did NOT need to hear. ".. There's no guy. It's nothing like that.."

He raised an eyebrow, tilting his head to the side with a questioning look, "Uh...kay..." He scratched his chin a moment, a faint grin fighting at his lips, "Y'jus a bit of a free spirit den?...y'ain't from roun' 'e-ah is ya, sha?" Luc was a respectful distance away, not able to see her other than her face, "Y'lucky I pass on by den, huh?"

"Yeah.. don't ask. I don't really have a good explanation.." The corner of her mouth finally twitched upward in a hint of a smile. "You could say that. Except this free spirit..has no clue how she got here." Oh hell, might as well just admit it. She wasn't good at lying and she couldn't think of anything to say other than the truth.

He looked confused at her answer, "Huh?" Well that certainly didn't answer much at all, "Y'lost den?" Luc looked around, "Y'on m'family's land. Benoit land. Y'at 143 Prytania fo exact."

It was so different to actually carry a conversation with Lucien and actually being able to hear his voice. It made her feel retardedly giddy inside; Butterflies everywhere. "Very lost. Wait, Louisiana?" Well that certainly explained the muggy air. She can be so blonde sometimes.

"Ya huh." He tilted his head to the side a bit, he hadn?t said Louisiana so he was a little suspicious when she said she didn?t know where she was yet picked that up, "Y'get a bump on yo 'ead dat y'foget?" He heard his name being called by the boy he'd sent off, running down the way with the sheet flying over his head flapping in the wind and trailing behind him. "Ey! Y'cut dat out or y'spook d'orse, y'dang couyon!" The horse certainly stamped and moved about in a paranoid manner at the wild child with the sheet. "I tok y'upside d'ead boi." Luc chided and bapped the kid on the head when he came over with the sheet, "Tanks."

"Honestly? I don't know what happened? I just.. kinda.. woke up here?" A helpless shrug given though the confused look was replaced with a grin, laughing at the boy running with a sheet flying overhead. She can't say anything, she probably would have done that. "Aw, don't hit him. That was adorable! And you can't say you wouldn't have done the same."

He rolled his eyes at her chastising, "I dun 'urt 'im none, did I, T.bo?" The kid laughed and shook his head before picking up a stick to play with his brothers. While they were busy, Luc wandered over closer, his eyes closing so he didn?t accidentally see her au natural and held the sheet out for her, "It ain't propah but is d'best we can do witout knowin' yo dress size, ya. I take y'back t'd'ouse an' get ya dressed propah like...doh m?mama's probly gunna 'ave some scoldin' fo me...comin' up wit a nekkid girl." Luc grinned...it wouldn't be the first time he'd gotten in trouble though it would be the first with a nude girl.

She knew that he didn't hurt the boy. The grin curled wider as she watched the interaction and reached out to take the sheet from Mr. Proper. Elise disappeared behind the shed, wrapping it around her like she was going to a toga party as he spoke. Eventually she stepped out from behind the shed, tentative as her arms hugged around that lithe frame wrapped up tight in the sheet. "If I knew how I ended up here...and naked...I'd probably be less embarrassed and ashamed."

Luc twisted his hat about in his hands a few moments and tried not to give a whistle at seeing her. Even with the sheet wrapped around her, he could imagine. He was struck dumb a moment before he cleared his throat and got his brain to working again, "Uh...r-right. Well...D'ya know yo name at least?

It was certainly nice to know that the young Lucien approved. It was written all over his face and it took a lot of effort not to tease him about it. "Elise." She brought a hand up to push her hair back before offering it out to him. Not a handshake, but she did give her fingers. A handshake in her time just seemed like it would not be the appropriate greeting. Might as well try not to stick out any more than she did!

"Elise..." He murmured, breathing it a moment before he gave a lopsided grin. He took her hand and gave a small bow, kissing the back of her hand softly. His lips were warm and soft, as was his hand. When he straightened again, he smiled brightly, "Pleasure t'be makin' yo acquaintance, miss Elise. I'm Lucien."

Somehow she knew it wasn't a good idea to say that she already knew him. She was just going to keep that on the downlow. Real downlow. Lucien's lopsided grin was infectious, one of her own appearing as he kissed the back of her hand. He seemed to have always been a gentleman. That explained a lot. "A pleasure, Lucien. Thank you for helping me."

"A course. Wha sorta man I be, leavin' a lady in distress, ah? On my land no less." Luc gave a wink and still held her hand for a moment before he realized and released it quickly. He cleared his throat, looking away still grinning a bit, "Uhhh...right, uh, I escort y'back ovah t'd'ouse." He offered his arm for her to take.

For the first time since waking up she felt safe and it all happened when she took the offered arm, making sure to keep one hand on the sheet so that it didn't work loose when they started walking. "It's very kind of you." He had such a sweet heart.

He smiled at her, "Ain't no ting, miss Elise." Luc walked her back to the horse and cleared his throat, "Excuse m'ands a moment?" He murmured and placed his hands on her waist to lift her up on the horse side saddle style. He'd walk.

A brow rose at the question but she didn't have time to answer and let out a squeak when he hefted her up onto the horse sidesaddle. "I could have walked." It was a mild protest, she didn't want to offend his generosity.

"Nonsense. No way I gunna let a lady walk when deah a perfectly fine 'orse t'be ridin' on." Luc took up the reins to lead the horse back the way he'd come. She could see a large plantation style home up the road with its white pillars and large front porch, "So....y'dun rememb-ah 'ow y'got 'e-ah...whey-ah y'from?"

The view was nice from her perch on the horse, not just the scenery itself but the man walking the horse. His heart still beat, he hadn't fought yet. Things hadn't happened. "Florida."

He looked shocked, "Dang, y'a li'l ways away from 'ome." He smiled a little though, "At least y'a good suddern gurl, doh." He made a teeth sucking sound, "Dang nordern-ahs startin' all dis crazy-ness....I fixin' t'leave t'morrah mornin' fo service, ya."

Oh God, that's right! She had thought about it but hadn't thought about it in detail until he brought it up. Both brows shot upward as she chewed the corner of her lower lip, trying to figure out how to go about this. ".. I can't say that I dislike northerners... They do have good points. We all do.. It's nonsense to fight about it..."

He frowned a little at her then shook his head, "Dey shoulda kept t'de-ah own bisness an' not try t'tell us wha we can an' can't do wit our property." Lucien wasn't as worldly as the one she knew...he was a racist, simple southern plantation owner's son during the civil war. A kind hearted boy but still...

"I agree. But neither of you should force it." She slid from the horse to land on the ground with a swift stride to catch up to the man. So proud in his uniform. Could she blame him? Of course not, this was the time.. he didn't have the same perspective that she did. The corner of her mouth twitched as she eyed the man sidelong. "So.. you believe that I should be owned then?"

He blinked when she slid off the horse. "A course no, y'ain't no negro, miss Elise." Yup...was the time, "I dun expect a nice prop-ah lady like yoself t'understand it all...it just 'ow it is."

The woman took a moment to think back to the stories her grandmother and great grandfather used to tell from those before them. Ugh. She really, really should have paid more attention to her lineage and history. "No, but I am dark." All dusky flesh and smooth caramel. "And I am also...not an American."

He looked over, pausing as he thought, "...Nuh...." He murmured after a hesitation then a thought struck him, "...Y'ain't a runaway is ya?"

Slender shoulders sagged at the question, lifting her hand to sift through silken strands and hold there tight at the top of her head. "I really don't know, Lucien."

He frowned again, not so sure he should take her to the house now. Instead, he would steer the horse toward the servant house, just off the fields, "I could get into some right big trouble 'elpin' a runaway mix gurl..." Luc chewed on his lower lip as he thought. He thought she was beautiful...but his mother and father would have a damn conniption fit if he brought her home, "Y'know y'from Florida but y'dunno if y'a slave?"

Elise stopped walking then, studying the young soldier looking so proud in his uniform and the things he believed in. Was it considered cheating if it was still Lucien? Of all the thoughts to strike her at that moment, that one had to come up first. Oops! "Then don't help me.." A heavy exhale escaped past her lips with the lower one caught at the middle between teeth as she tried to push the desire down and return her thoughts back to the subject at hand. "If I can just get some clothes.. I can be okay on my own. I'll leave and you won't get in trouble. I don't want you to get into trouble just because I have no clue how I got here... All I do know is that my name is Elise.. and I'm from the very most southern tip of Florida.." She should probably just stop talking now.

He looked back to her when she stopped walking, looking like he was considering and eventually, he sighed and nodded, "...I 'ate t'do dat t'a lady, miss Elise...but...maybe is fo d'best. I leavin' t'morrow after all..." He gestured to the servant house, "They'll set y'up nice an' prop-ah like, see ya fed. I can plead ignorance in 'elpin' ya since I won't know whe-ah y'goin' to after..." Luc smiled, "...Is a shame..." He murmured and handed her the reigns to the horse, "...Y'take 'im too...get y'furd-ah along...wheddah dat back t'Florida or elsewhe-ahs."

"And you can really plead innocent since you don't know my last name or anything else about me." She thought about it for a moment. She should have done better, she could have been anything she wanted to be in this place and she opted for herself? What the ****?! Inwardly kicking herself for not being creative or something. A glance given to the reigns with a slow shake of her head, smiling. "No, he stays here. It'll probably attract more attention than I really want."

"Yeah..." He murmured and gave a sigh, "If y'say so...keep yoself safe, miss Elise." He tipped his hat and lead the horse away, looking back over his shoulder after a few steps and giving a sad smile.

Elise brought her hand up to give the man a wave. "Don't worry. I'll be fine." Ugh, she didn't have the heart to tell him that they were going to lose the war and be forced to give up their ways despite their passion and pride.



((edited from live play with Elise-mun =) ))

The darkness receded a touch, from the solid inky black it had been, to a warm night. She was already walking, still in the Confederate uniform far too snug in the chest and beside her was the woman she'd seen briefly in the moments before Luc had succumbed to his wounds. She was about the same height as Elise but carried herself with a feline-like grace as she moved. She didn't seem to pay Elise any mind, not sparing a word or look for her. Her eyes were dead ahead and her stride confident with some unseen purpose. Her reddish brown hair bounced against her mid back, the bottom hem of her dress brushing across the dark grass as they headed toward a source of strange sounds with grim determination. She did not look amused, her thin eyebrows pulled down into a frown and her green grey eyes locked on some shapes in the dark before them.

Not far ahead was a form hunched over a deer. The sound of ripping flesh and wet slurping finally reached Elise's not so keen ears.

"Lucien." The woman's voice was firm, clear and caused the freshly made vampire to lift his head from his work. His lower jaw was covered in the hapless creature?s blood, as was the front of his shirt and entirety of his hands. His red eyes gleamed in the dark as he bared his teeth and snarled like some feral animal at the women and their intrusion on his meal.

Elise walked along in silence. The woman beside her didn't seem up for conversation and at the moment, given the current situation, Elise was all too happy to just watch. Ever so cautious as she finally heard the sounds and caught sight of Lucien munching on the deer. Well, better a deer than some poor unsuspecting person. Silent still, she had to give herself serious credit for not freaking out and running the other way when Lucien looked up and snarled at them both. It was a side to him that she had never seen before but from what she had already heard this was something that happened with new vampires. But then again, the only thing that she really knew from them came from old Anne Rice novels from back in the 90s.

After giving a hiss, Luc tore back into the deer; ripping at its mangled throat further to create a larger gruesome wound. There was a sound of distaste from the woman, like an annoyed parent when a child does something they shouldn't. "Lucien. Stop." The vampiress commanded but it had the opposite effect, Lucien growled and bolted in a blur of movement; gone. The brunette dipped her head and pinched the bridge of her nose as she muttered, before she began walking again.

There was almost a look of amusement in honey hues as she continued to simply observe the interaction between this woman and Lucien, whom at the moment was acting like a petulant child. That was exactly what it seemed like. Luc was in a way a child. Newly reborn into this overwhelming new world that he knew nothing about and fighting against the person that had brought him into it but also saved him from death. This sort of thing continued for a little while until a scream pierced the night and some shouts followed. Luc had happened across people.

He moved way too fast for her to ever keep up so she simply walked along with the vampiress and blinked when she heard the screaming and shouting. That didn't sound good. It gave her a hint of panic but more for Lucien than anyone else, she didn't want him to get caught or in trouble. Of course, she hadn't wanted to watch him die so she was fairly sure that she was going to witness more before the end of it all.

The vampiress swore and moved in a blur to catch up to Luc, and inexplicably, it pulled Elise along at speed as well, not to be left behind in whatever past world she'd been dropped into. One second she had just been walking along and the next she was blurring along with them. It had those eyes widening as she was drawn along and it took a lot of effort to focus in front of her and not throw up all over with the fact that she was now moving so fast.

Luc had his hand through a man's chest, pinned to a tree as he tore into his throat, blood gushing out of the wound. A terrified woman continued to scream in horror at seeing so much blood and the man drinking it.

Once the motion stopped and she found the terrible scene before her, she brought a hand up to close over her mouth at the sight of Lucien with his hand through a poor man's chest. Oh that poor, poor guy! It made her stomach turn with the fact that this had happened to an innocent person and the terror that had been inflicted. She understood to a point that the daylighter couldn't quite control it but still, it was gut wrenching. Especially when she saw the look on the woman's face.

The woman just kept screaming and it was clearly starting to agitate the newly created vampire. He growled and pulled away from the man, withdrawing his forearm from the dead man's chest, leaving him to crumple at the base of the tree before Luc pressed his hands to both his ears, looking like he was in pain. He squeezed his eyes shut before shouting, "Stop it! Y'too loud! J-Just stop wit yo noise!" He leapt at the woman, his hands going to her mouth to cover it which certainly caused her panic to rise being covered with the sticky mess of blood and the feral lunatic, "Jus' stop! Stop!" Luc repeated as the woman thrashed and gave muffled sounds under his hand. He was too strong and with the struggling, he held her firmly. Suddenly there was a terrible crunch of a sound and the woman went limp and silent.

The vampire had accidentally broken her neck. Realizing what he'd done now that there was silence, Luc released the woman and scrambled back on his hands and feet, his heels overturning grass and dirt as he crab crawled until his back hit solidly against a tree, His red eyes looked panicked and confused as he looked to the blood on them as if he just realized what he'd done. He'd killed people in combat, at a distance with his rifle...other soldiers. This was different. These were innocent people and he?d killed them in cold blood. He'd murdered them. He'd drank their blood.

"Mon dieu." He gasped then began heaving.

The scene before her was just as horribly traumatic as watching Lucien die. The panic and confusion that she could see etched on the poor man's face as he scrambled backward broke Elise's heart and the only thing she wanted to do was comfort him. But she remained where she was standing a good distance away with a heavy exhale. There was absolutely nothing she could do to console and comfort Lucien so she remained silent and brought her arms up to curl around herself as she watched and listened. She had no clue why she was here and why she was watching his past but it definitely gave her a really good insight on why Lucien was the way that he was now. She had no clue how much more watching that she had to endure but it was the first time in her entire existence that she actually wanted to be awake. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't escape this nightmare.

If it was a dream at all. Perhaps she had been taken into the past somehow? Who knew for sure?

Luc looked over to the women for answers, his unnatural eyes pleading for some indication that this nightmare was indeed going to stop.

The vampiress shook her head, "It will be daylight soon. Come. We need to get you far away from here....Come, Lucien." At the second command, Luc seemed to relax, his eyes glazing over as he stood. As if in some sort of trance, doing what the vampiress instructed him to do, he followed like a puppy.

Elise really had no clue what all of this was but for right now, until she figured out exactly what was going on, she was calling this a total nightmare. Because that's what it was and no matter what she did, she couldn't escape and get back to the present where she was happily, safely snuggled with Lucien.

The vampiress looked square at Elise and frowned before rolling her eyes and looking annoyed, a pushing gesture was made toward the space between them and that terrible sucking sensation pulled at Elise's middle again.

That gaze slid away from Lucien and the pleading look that had glazed to trance-like to view the vampiress looking dead at her. Oh hell no, she was not rolling her eyes at her! Elise almost opened her mouth but with the pushing gesture and the terrible sucking sensation she shut her mouth real quick as the world around her went dark once more. UGH!

((edited from live play with Elise-mun =) ))

Lucien Beniot was still not speaking to his 'captor'. It was what he called her anyway, she had told him her name but he had ignored it. They were due to arrive in Paris within the next week or so. Elise had seen him in the first few days on the boat it seemed, this was nearing the end of the journey. The fledgling still hadn't been able to learn to control his fangs yet so he was kept in the cabin below decks of the steamer that took the monthly trip from Paris to the Port of New Orleans.

At night, he roamed the upper decks, just getting fresh air though it seemed to do little for his feeling of helplessness and being overwhelmed. The scents, sounds...everything was just so hard to control. It didn't help that he fought with his sire every step of the way, even if she had advice for him. Sound and good advice. He was angry and pained, at the lowest point of his 'life'. The catholic boy believed himself to be an abomination and that god had abandoned him. He blamed her. Currently, it was night and he sat near one of the lifeboats, writing in a rather unused leather bound writing book.

He had not made his transition or her responsibilities easy by any stretch of the imagination. Justine Abyssinia Aphrodite Vauclain had been created only ten years prior, but she had learned the ropes quickly. It was imperative to survival, and no one wanted the Nephilim to come poking about. She'd never come across one, as far as she knew, but she'd been told they were self-righteous, meddlesome, and downright murderous. She was on the deck as well, keeping an eye on him and doing her best to keep him safe. She owed him that, even if he despised her for it.

Justine watched the ship lazily bobbing on the waves, the water cascading down the wooden sides. She could smell the pitch they used to waterproof it, the salt in the water, the grease on the ropes, the rotting fish, and the leather of his book. The sound of his quill scratching made her want to tilt her head and cover her ear, but she ignored it. The sound of the waves helped drown it away. "Be careful what you write," she warned him, though he probably would just sneer at her, "Always write as if someone will read it, unless you immediately destroy anything personal."

He pursed his lips tightly together and lifted his chocolate colored eyes to her, turned more the color of dried blood to bright red when agitated or feeding...something else he would need to learn to control. He had nearly killed three humans humans on their way to the Port of New Orleans in not knowing how to gage the proper amount of blood to take.

"I write wha'ever I wanna write. Is my book. Is my life, ya." His dark eyebrows twitched down a bit and he looked down to his paper and quill that had gone still a moment, "Was..." Though that was more quiet. But his pen didn't scratch again, instead he closed the book and tucked away his writing tools back into a pouch bag and curled his knees up to rest his forearms on them and look out at the sea.

Justine frowned, her back still to him. It was easier to hide her frustration that way. She leaned against the railing, letting the wind blow against her. A few stray hairs not pinned back tickled her face. "Your life is still your own," she said to him, "And now it will last for eternity. You just have to learn new rules to follow. You're newly born. Look at the world through the eyes of an infant, then perhaps you will understand." She pursed her lips for a moment. Sometimes she wanted to abandon him to his own devices, but something in her would not allow that, no matter how frustrated he made her. She felt a sense of duty to him. After all, she had brought him into this new world... She was something like his mother now, though not quite.

"Though if you long so for death, you could have stayed buried in your coffin and faded and died rather than digging yourself out and coming with me... So it seems to me that you did not wish to die so much after all. Why not do your best to make the best of it?"

"I did not want t'remain in a box wit my frantic thoughts forever." He gave a noise of frustration, "I ain't an infant. I make twenty-four d'night I meet wit'chu...birthday....some birthday." Luc rested his chin on his knee. He grumbled, "...killin' myself a sin." He still clung to that sliver of hope, that maybe, god would take his soul one day if he just remained good. He looked to her back and his eyebrows bunched together in a sad look, "Why....why y'do dis t'me?"

Justine sighed heavily. She looked up at the sky and watched the stars. The moon was out. She looked over the craters and flaws. Finally, she glanced back at him. "Because I liked you and didn't want you to die," she said softly. After a few moments of watching him, she turned back away. "Not that it matters. You hate me for damning you. I can't entirely fault you for that." Justine pushed away from the rails. "Now... That is quite enough moping and feeling sorry for yourself. You are a man of nearly twenty four years, are you not? Then act like it. Stand up, stop sulking, and pull yourself together."

His sad frown pulled into an angry one, his emotions so much more raw along with his senses, "Y'turn me into a monster an I suppose t'tank y'for it?" Luc snapped in a hiss and stood, "'Ow y'know y'even like me if I ain't ever even meet y'before dat night?!" His body trembled a bit with his fury. He glared at her for but a few moments more before his shoulders sank and he leaned back against the boat hanging in case of emergency and sighed...even though he no longer needed the breath, "I'm just...I dunno what t'do...I feel unwelcome in m'own skin...."

"Yes!" She answered him, "Maybe I was foolish! Maybe I was selfish! Maybe it's because you reminded me of someone who was special to me!" She let out a frustrated growl. "And now all you do is whine and complain! You -died-, Lucien! Your life ended on the battlefield! I cannot fathom why you wouldn't be thankful to have a second chance at life rather than bemoaning the cards fate has dealt." When he admitted he didn't know what to do and felt unwelcome in his own skin, she huffed. "Figure it out," she grumped, walking briskly toward the cabin, "Or pitch yourself overboard and save at least one of us the headache of listening to you moan like a laboring woman."

He shrank a bit, her raised voice had stung as did the frustration she felt at him. That confused him as well...how could he feel something he wasn't feeling himself? His friends had believed her to be a fancy whore and paid for her time for their fellow soldier on the eve of his birthday and four days before they went to that final battle. Luc had confessed not having been with a woman before, not in the manner that his friends meant him to be and was a nervous wreck. Kind, sweet, handsome, it would have been a shame for the world to lose a honestly good man like him.

He remained out in the air for quite a time after, attempting to sort things out in his head and once again took a seat to write. Only an hour or so before the sun roze did he flee back to the cabin for the day as the sun was a literal death sentence now. No longer lending warmth or light or comfort..

***

Justine remained in her cabin until past sundown the next day. She carefully fed on a sleeping crewman, then sighed as she sought Luc out. She felt guilty for losing her temper on him, but she'd had enough of listening to him mope since he'd emerged from his grave. She kept a few vials of grave dirt from his grave, her own, and others he didn't know about... Her own sire included. When she found him, she didn't speak for a moment, just looking at him. "Have you fed yet?" She asked, her voice soft and gentle again. She was trying to be patient and understanding.

Luc lowered his gaze like an admonished child when he saw her and then again when she spoke. He shook his head a little, "I...do not trust myself t'do it alone...I...I dun wanna kill no body again, ma'am..." His voice was a little timid as he twisted his thumbs in his suspenders, a nervous habit she'd seen him exhibit a couple of times, "...Does....does it get easier?" He lifted his dark eyes to her then, "...t'control...well...everyting?..."

Justine raised her eyebrow and looked at him funny, but bit back her comment. Instead, she sighed softly and nodded. "With time and effort, yes," she said, "Come... We'll find someone for you to drink from. You have to drink frequently when you're new or it makes it worse... And it hurts." She extended her gloved hand. "Will you do as I say now? I am trying to help."

He flicked his eyes to her hand, "I..I am still angry wit'chu...is like a gnawin' in m'chest...tingling in my arms...but..." He took a deep breath and let it out with a heavy sigh and took her hand, "...I'll listen..." Luc's eyebrows were still bunched together a bit as he struggled with all manner of internal turmoil, but at least he would stop fighting her.

"Be angry," she said, "Be angry forever if you like. But put it aside long enough to let me teach you how to survive. Then you can go back to hating me." She closed her gloved hand around his and tugged him along. She brought him down into the lower decks where many of the day crew slept. She went quiet, making sure her eyes did not glow or give her away. "Think of soft things, gentle things... Like rabbits, the rays of the sun on a warm day, the caress of the back of a hand. Keep these images in mind. Let it calm you."

"Soft gentle tings.." He repeated and murmured though it didn't do a whole lot to calm him. He would miss the warm touch of the sun and animals seemed to be afraid of him now...so her suggestions just made him sad. He bit and held his lower lip a moment between his pointed fangs and followed along after her.

Justine brought him closer to a sleeping crewman. "Remember... Soft and gentle. You don't want to wake him. You just need to drink a bit, leaving him to slumber and be ignorant of it. No need for him to wake... You'll be gone in but a moment." She took the man's limp hand and held his wrist out. "Bite the meatier parts, avoid the bones. The veins lie between the muscles. You can feel them if you run your finger along them."

It felt perverse and absolutely sinful to be skulking about in the shadows and dining on the life of others just to sustain himself. He would learn in time but for now...he struggled a great deal. Luc listened though and gave a single nod as he neared the bunk of the crewmate to carefully take his wrist in his hands. As he neared his face to the vein, he could smell the blood already, hear the man's heart beating and it made his mouth water. He swallowed and sank his teeth in, giving a small sound of pleasure at the taste, as if he hadn't tasted anything so good before. Or that he could recall anyway. Even though he'd fed a few times before, each time was a surprise to the young vampire.

"Gently," she said to him, nodding, "I know it's delicious. But you must control yourself. Drink like you are at a formal dinner, not a man in the desert. Go slowly, keep the blood in your mouth, don't let any escape. Good... You're doing well." She waited. It would take a while for the man to bleed out, and she would stop Luc before that point. "When you feel things change... That is the warning it is time to stop."

He closed his eyes and tried to listen to her, he knew she was right...he knew she was just trying to help him to survive this new life she'd cursed him with. Luc concentrated, at least he tried to, it was hard to do past the pure enjoyment of the bloody nourishment. But eventually, he felt what she meant, the small shift in flow and temperature. He pressed his tongue to the wound with his mouth still clamped around it to aid in the healing process before he pulled back and released his victim's hand.

"Yes... Yes. Very good," she praised him, nodding, "This way, no lasting harm is done, no accords are broken. You don't have to kill to live, just... Borrow." She released his hand and folded hers. "Do you feel better?"

"I feel....ashamed." Luc murmured, honest about at least one of the sensations pulsing through him. The blood gave him more life, more vitality and granted him a more natural color to his pale skin. He gulped, he also felt other things but he would not admit to those, "But....ya...I ain't so...on edge I guess."

"Well... Hopefully where we're going you'll abandon some of those feelings," she said, "Come... I have many things to teach you. The city will overwhelm you if you cannot deal with your emotions and your heightened senses. You must learn to blend in and hide in plain sight."

He wasn't sure how he was going to manage that, he already felt like everyone around him knew what sort of monster he had become. Of course no one did, he was just extremely uneasy and uncomfortable. Luc looked back to the man that he'd bitten who continued to sleep peacefully then back to her before nodding and following her out.