Topic: The BIR Corner (OCC Comments / Constructive Critiques / Q/A)

Ammy Spiritor

Date: 2018-05-15 13:09 EST
(Details amended as well as rules. Updating is open without a restriction. What can I say, I am too eager to share stories.)

Hello to all of my lovely readers, viewers, poodles, cats, llamas and more (if you are not listed, fill in the blank but understand you are well thought of and loved just as much. Grins)

Greeting out of the way, hello! It's been, oh gosh, months since I've written anything in the forums. Life has been life and a 2 month vacation in South Korea to boot. But this thread isn't for that. Oh no. Something good is coming out. I've taken to writing books! What has this to do with you as the reader and this oddly labeled BIR thingy?

Well, as I write my books, I am doing everything in rough draft first, then going back and doing edits once each book is written out in the rough. So, I am calling the books I write Books In the Rough (BIR). You may be wondering why would I post my writings on a public forum? Well, I need readers, beta readers to enjoy and comment and suffer just like me through these grand adventures. Plus, I am not writing for a profit or publishing. I am writing these books to just share with all in my spare time. That said, lets take a quick spin at what is going on here.

All threads that are BIR (Rough Drafts, expect lots of errors) will be labeled BIR at the beginning, a Working Title (Subject to Change in editing phase), work in progress (WIP) to show that it will have potholes everywhere, and a general rating (G, PG13, R) for the majority of the books content. Whew what a mouth full.

Now the BIR Threads are for posting what is written, and will be updated as often as possible. Anyone remotely interested will have a chance to read the material, form some questions, comments, ideas or feed back and to come here to discuss things, point things out or just generally say hi and leave thoughts.

Constructive criticism is encouraged.

That said, following this post with be an index post showing what all BIR's are going on and links to each chapter start. Have fun, I hope, reading what I work on!

*There are two other series I plan to write as soon as the muse nips. One series will be about a particular law enforcement officer I masquerade as long ago.*

Ammy Spiritor

Date: 2018-05-15 13:11 EST
The BIR Index of Rough Reading:

1st Book in Rough Draft: Trisha Talon in Lupinoss
Trisha Talon in Lupinoss - Chapter 1
Trisha Talon in Lupinoss - Chapter 2
Trisha Talon in Lupinoss - Chapter 3
Trisha Talon in Lupinoss - Chapter 4
Trisha Talon in Lupinoss - Chapter 5
Trisha Talon in Lupinoss - Chapter 6
Trisha Talon in Lupinoss - Chapter 7
Trisha Talon in Lupinoss - Chapter 8
Trisha Talon in Lupinoss - Chapter 9


The 1st Edition Index of Reading:
Chronicles of Trisha Talon - Book 1 - Ch 1
Chronicles of Trisha Talon - Book 1 - Ch 2
Chronicles of Trisha Talon - Book 1 - Ch 3
Chronicles of Trisha Talon - Book 1 - Ch 4

Ammy Spiritor

Date: 2018-05-16 09:50 EST
I'll get the ball rolling.

I read both chapters completely for the third time on my large desktop screen since their writing a month ago. I'll be very honest. I flinched.

I realize now that writing a book on a tiny tablet screen while in South Korea was not a good idea. I was not able to see words dropped between mind and typing fingers. There's quite a few I need to put back in when editing phase rolls in.

Consistency with some terms was something else I noticed that has rattled loose. Perhaps I need index cards for noting down certain name spellings and word usage.

So far I think the chapters have decent meat to work with but I know I have been wrong often. Hehe. And I know my rules stated updating once a week but I felt only tossing one chapter up for the first week was a bit dry for reading and anticipation so I gave you all a bolus load of two to kick it all off.

Feel free to comment on the writing and content!

Ammy Spiritor

Date: 2018-06-13 21:00 EST
Feedback from a beta reader has been received on the 9 chapters so far. There is quite a bit of potential but a few things need fixed.

A summary of the review so far:

While great and interesting to read, some things to note. Complete lack of Care/Curiosity about a Felissii being in Lupinoss where none have existed publicly. A Lack of Severe Value in what she can represent to all Lupinossai (extotic/knowledge/personal valuables/political complications). Too much emphasis on her dying. Too little emphasis on character interaction or environmental interaction. Severely short city interactions. Lack of timing for critical events. Lack a consistent long or several short term antagonists.

Having reviewed the chapters myself, I'll add my own notes to the improvements needed:

Consistency, Spelling of Terms/People/Cities, Missing words.

But overall, not bad progress considering this started in April while on my vacation in South Korea. I've finally allocated and reorganized my notes and will be reworking, expanding and quite possibly splitting things into more chapters before I write the next thing to come to Trisha. I post the revised chapters in the same thread and reuse the links.

On a side note, to those out their reading a variety of books, do you find plain chapter numbers as headings appealing or is it desirable for titles for each chapter? I'm on the fence on this one. So I'll get the writing juices flowing in the next day or two and begin reworking and improving what is written so far. Many ideas and plots for it all, and if you enjoyed what you read or have questions, please, don't be shy! Post away!

Ammy Spiritor

Date: 2018-06-23 10:14 EST
The rewriting and adding of materials to the first 9 chapters is under way, real life has just been hectic. We do now have two potential cover arts for the first book and I am now experimenting with a look for illustrating a page before each chapter to capture an intriguing moment in each chapter. For now, here is the cover arts.

https://78.media.tumblr.com/56d0a86821eff4fca68ee87aab3ba2f5/tumblr_pas3qczW4T1wx1swpo1_1280.png

https://78.media.tumblr.com/d3134a6aafc82de5334f0e8fc81fc500/tumblr_panmv5o2Ca1wx1swpo1_1280.png

Ammy Spiritor

Date: 2018-07-15 10:38 EST
You all may have noticed its been quiet for a few weeks. Well life and searching for work has been rough as well as a lot of time taken up on caring for parents while they visit. That said, you'll notice a new index and a new thread started called 1st Edition. This is were my refined writing from the feedback given on the Books in the Rough (BIR) writings will go. Treat the BIR Threads more like a rough framework and the 1st Edition threads as molding them into an actual story. I'm keeping the indexes and threads separate for each book idea I have. Why? After reworking what was the Chapter 1 file. It grew and expanded into the first 4 chapters now posted. This leaves the other 8 chapters I wrote to still rework and grow as well.

Hopefully you all enjoy the reading and learn more about Trisha Talon.

Oh and I now have a map illustrated for the time period Trisha land in Lupinoss. More maps will be coming for local territories and even her own homeland Chanteer.

https://78.media.tumblr.com/79e027707d68554cf31841825b316420/tumblr_pbvia9E9FH1wx1swpo1_1280.png

Ammy Spiritor

Date: 2018-07-21 09:49 EST
Would seem something has gone and mucked up a good portion of all of my book posts in the forum replacing many things with strange characters. This will be a pain to sort out. I know I can edit, wipe out and repaste from my own files, but is this just going to happen again with all the changes going on? Well so much for continued mood to edit and post for the day. What a mess.

Update: Tried the edit and repasting of my post from my word file. Same garbling occurs. Lovely. :: Dons a cloak and goes spelunking in the Dragons Mark Forum to pass on the issue ::