You know, I'm proud as to how far the den has gotten. We made a lot of progress and had a lot of fun.

All the players did something great to help better the den and make it a happier place.

I remember the time when I first happened upon the den. Ammy seemed to be struggling at that time and people were giving her hell. So, I helped her up and I stood up against the bullies that were on RDI. I never really did get a thank you, but it doesn't matter and I'm still proud of standing up for someone. She may have not known why they stopped picking on her for a long time, for a long while she kept searching to see if she found anymore bad speak about her and the den. She didn't find much if anything after that. I was never one to back down. I did what no one else did, I showed that others cared greatly about this Den and its creator, Ammy, and their existence. And when others joined us, so did they. It was once a single person's dream, a single person's place of comfort. Then it became a place of comfort for multiple people. Anyone can relate to such a place.

But other things happened, too.

Stories of love, adventure, sadness, happiness, revenge and action happened. Many things began to happen that made the Den very alive. Who cares if some players have a lot of characters, it is only a sign that someone has a strong and wonderful imagination. There are people on this site that have well over a hundred kind of characters. I admire that. I really do. One should never limit their imagination. If they do, they're only limiting themselves.

We even had the amazing trickster, Aramus Con Jackuss doing silly things to the Den. Making peoples hair and fur go rainbow, people probably getting hair in places they never thought they had. All kinds of silly things.

Like Ammy, quite a few of our characters are a piece of us and meant very much to us. In fact, from a writer's point of view, when we write our stories and characters we always throw a piece of our lives into what we are writing. That was one of the best things I ever realized from a very good writing book I read many years ago. You could read a person by just looking at their characters, but only if you look close enough.

The den went through a lot of hardships and changes. It was re-sized and made smaller in the past (a map was being made by Rawsha, but halted at the moment I suppose.) Rawsha helped a lot in that.


A language was even helped fleshed out. I can't say I was a big help on that part, but I know Iimiidiina was.

So many wonderful things happened in this place and it was like we called it home and we shared the feelings with our characters with their deep interactions. It was really a welcoming place for anyone.



But I do apologize for ever shutting anyone out. My life has always been very rough on me and my emotions get the best of me some days.

The recent making a butt out of myself wasn't a good show either. Two things I'm not proud of honestly and was stupid on my part. Things like that are not what the den was meant to represent.


Am I truly mad? No. Am I upset? I am to be honest. But it's because I care about something I helped thrive and others helped, too.


We always asked to help run things for you, Ammy. We knew things stressed you out. We wanted to relieve you of that stress. By run things I never meant changing the lupinossai, it would all still be yours. Just someone in place to make sure things stayed okay while you rested. If you needed leave time, which I was told by someone, then all you had to do was say so and we would've respected it without a fuss. A lot less hurt would have happened. Do I blame you? No. Do I want a fight? No. Just wanted to be there for you and talk through things. It's fine if you want to play with others. I wouldn't ever stop you from doing that.

What I'm trying to say with all of this is, the Den became a part of people, more than one person. People that also put a lot of hard work into it all. It's one of those cases where people did so much and when it's all stopped it's very heart tearing. Like if multiple people were cleaning this pool (as you called it) and then a bunch of crazy teenagers decided to jump the fence and soil it and do all kinds of awful stuff, you bet we'd be upset and would be a nice reason to close the pool. (That was just for a bit of humor.)

Ammy, you don't have to respond right away. You can take your time with answering. The pool can stay closed as long as you like, all I'm saying is even if it's closed, let us watch over it while you take a break. Don't shut us out of it. You never know, maybe when you come back to it, it might be a nice clean place to visit again and enjoy. You know I've never let you down. I've always been there, and will always be there no matter what (Yes, I'm one stubborn caring friend.) You want a vacation, you got it. I won't stop you. You deserve it. I know you go through a lot. Just let us watch over what we helped with. I know you're the creator of this all, I'm not that foolish. But as a friend, I will always be here.

This is like my last friend that went off to war. He invited me to join him, but I said no. And though the things we did may have stopped, I will be here no matter how long it takes for him to return home. Even if he were to die, I'd still wait for him like a loyal dog that waits for his human companion to return home. But if or when he does return home, maybe we'll have fun again. Even he and I had tough times.

You told me I could go with you or stay behind. To be honest, I didn't know what that meant, because I didn't know where you were going or what the flippin' saddle-backs was going on. And I've been on a crap load of medication lately for this dang tooth that isn't even done yet, and that stuff is effecting me a lot. (And now I'm taking even more pills for this tooth)

Just want you to know, if you give us (or even just me) the keys to the pool, I'll take good care of everything I promise. I won't let you down. And you know I never make a promise I can't keep. You know me too well to disbelieve that. You said you didn't blame me either. I remember that. If that were true, and I believe it is, I would still like to take all this weight off your shoulders. I don't even mind if you just play one character for months. I know, that you know, you need some alone time. Let me be the guardian until you return one day. I don't care if it takes you 50 years to return. I have patience beyond imagination. Don't have me remind you of thousand times I'd wait many, many hours for something sitting in one spot, you know I will. hehehe.

I am happy to see you proud of yourself. But I am a stubborn friend, yes, but it's a type of stubbornness that's also caring. That's how I stood up to those bullies. I like to see you happy, but from stubborn friend to stubborn friend, share that happiness with the others. You know I've never asked for much, I was always a giver, not a taker. You know this. I'm not asking for a fight, I'm not asking for an argument, I'm just asking for you to share what you wish to not take care of for now. From friend, to friend. I will never have ill will against you.

As I sit here while my work computer chews through a solid model of an eninge I am doing draft work on, I have read over the things Mirius mun has written. I am reminded of a few things:

Once upon a time I was a lonely person looking for anyone to to play with me. That loneliness was sometimes the thing that got me into trouble in the old days with a lot of drama caused by Ammy and a certain Slave Association. That is water under the bridge to most.

Still that brings up the point that there are those that are lonely looking for someone to play with. I agree the Lupinosse Den has throughout it's long almost four year history on RDI provided shelter to a few souls. Not many though. To be honest, many on RDI think Lupinossai are bizzare, wierd, out of the norm for the usual little box of fantasy life and it's limited variety of default flavors, but hey, to each their own.

The point that matters as pointed out is that a small community was started. A sad point though not being seen is the small community has faded and died away mostly. The majority of the Lupinossai players that used to play have moved on with their lives, gone on to other forums, play other chars now, or as I have been told personally many times in IM when I find a few Lupinossai players by chance, they stopped due to a rise in high drama that surfaced in the group over the last year and a half.

I will point out no names, I will name no names. This not the time, the place or the point of this anymore. This is merely, for me, a stepping stone to let me express some thoughts as I consider the proposal Mirius mun has posed to pass the 'keys to the pool' to someone else.

Perhaps the community is dead from the need of a new leader. I have done what I could. I have made mistakes. I own these mistakes. I wont deny them. I have made successes. I own these successes as well. I am only human though, and have carried this torch, this spark of the community for song long it has guttered out in my hands.

That said, maybe the wisdom of many leaders out their before and after me is best to pay attention to. Perhaps it's time to give the Den, the that can exist in Rhydin as a seperate entity from the world only I know to a new leader.

I will post more thoughts later. My computer is done processing, and I will be in contact, if my bridge isn't entirely destroyed with Mirius mun via YIM about things to come.

Don't worry, this bridge is unbreakable. Yeah, they said the titanic was unsinkable, but...just whatever, bridge unbreakable. :lol: You can still talk to me in YIM and contact me whenever you like, because I'm also terrified I made things look bad here and don't want to do that any further. :oops:


But really, even if there's bits and pieces of history there, sometimes that's just enough for players to start something great. Some do like to know where things were started from. I would also never deny the original history, but even if people wanted to make it their own histories then I'd say that's okay, too.

Because look at all the characters we have. Characers like Ciri, Aribius, Yaji'is, and Deli'ina are from their totally own world and not the original timeline. Same goes with quite a few other characters. I find neither the original nor the free-formed Lupinossai better than the other, but I suppose that might be just one person's view.

Besides, Ammy, it's still your home, even if it's an old home, you're always welcome back for as many visits, give any suggestions, and fill in any blanks about any mysteries that may be there. It's what I always meant when I said not to hurry or worry with things, but it can be hard to relax when other things go on as well.

But truly, I know I will make my own mistakes. It is hard to ever be better than the original person who did this all. I still doubt I'd ever be better than you, but I will certainly do all the best of my abilities. I know I'm certainly not perfect, so I would even openly accept suggestions and such and see what can be done, especially from Ammy herself.

To those that have come and go, me knowing and played with some of them, they're always welcome back. If they don't come back, fully understandable. Some things that happened a lot in the past over my years of role-playing put a bad taste in my mouth for dedicated reptilian characters. Hard for me to play a dragon or draconian or any variant of that these days. Tysiath was my last attempt. So I know how they'll feel about not wanting to go back to something that's nothing but a reminder of things that kept happening or a fear of it happening again.

I will admit though I'm not so happy with all the drama (mostly OOC drama no doubt) that happened that gave other players grief either. I probably contributed to that somewhere. (Very likely the past few days if not the past.) So, I won't be saying I was an angel. I'm like Mirius herself some days, just a total....beep. ;-)


Personally, it never bothered me that the little community that this Den has had. I find great things in both big and small packages, but that's likely just another personal opinion.

But sometimes I view old existing role-plays and things as if they were an old game. I get so crazy happy when I get a nostalgia moment when I play an old N64 game or Sega Genisis or something. I get excitements like that still with a couple old role-players I keep in touch through emails. What I mean is things don't always have to end, sometimes it's nice to go back to some things after a good break.

This even makes me think of a game that I know and love. The source code to it was lost long ago, making it difficult to ever recreate and make a fully working game again. But the small community that plays it, still love it and enjoy it even though it's got missing pieces here and there. Even the main programmer still keeps it at his heart, to this day. That game was made back in 1998. So, don't feel too bad about the original timeline. Sometimes people like mysteries.

Who knows, maybe some future adventures could happen to unravel these mysteries in a fun, storytelling way instead of it just being handed to the players. (Of course, that part is up to you.)

And we still got some other adventures to do sometime too. In no rush to do them, don't worry. Where others are the GM of the world, and you being just a player there. I know that's something you always wanted. I'm sorry I didn't do it sooner or frequently enough. And I know you've been enjoying a certain one already between me and you, Ammy. I do hope to help create adventures with others here as well.


Also, I apologize for my unorganized paragraphs. I know there are paragraphs that should be in certain places. I got a brain that flip flops a lot. :shock:



(Note to self: review own post so not to have to repeatedly make edits.)
Also, hope I'm not making anything confusing on accident. Think that's one habit that I can't get rid of. :???:

And an interesting note on that part, Rawsha. I've always looked at us as that close as well. But it is also common that siblings get into the most stupid arguments and things. Having two older brothers I would know, we fought a lot and even though we're adults now we still argue over stupid suff, but still love each other all the same.. We all make stupid mistakes and do crazy things from time to time. I don't think there's enough paper in the world to write down the amount that I've made myself.

another edit: and if it wasn't clear in the other post I made, Ammy, you know I still won't mind talking to you in YIM. Just one thing I should mention is lately I've been falling asleep at awkward times, so if I'm ever online but not answering I probably fell asleep. Can't wait to get off all these pills for my tooth.