Early morning, May 17th..
It had been a while, hours actually, since Katt had left them at the hall. He could see the beginnings of morning light trying to make itself known behind the cottony cloud cover as he made the slow journey back to May's apartment.
She slept in his arms just as soundly as she had in his lap, her shallow breathing barely noticeable, hidden even by the quiet sounds of his footsteps on the street. As much as he had tried to tame her hair, it still fell in a messy waterfall over his arms, sweeping the ground, tickling the tops of his feet. The soft breezes brought the warmed scent of peaches to his nose.
He watched her face as he walked. Her eyelashes were long and dark against her cheeks, a lot longer than he had last remembered them being. She looked relieved and relaxed; he hoped he was imagining the subtle sadness that he could see too, lingering in the shadows of her expression.
The air of her small apartment felt empty and stale, the clicks of the lock and latch sounding too loudly. The girl resting against him didn't stir. He shrugged the tote bag off of his shoulder, leaving it on the kotatsu as he passed it in favor of her room instead.
It wasn't the first time he had done this for her, but it somehow felt different. He knew as he carefully peeled the top layer of blankets out of the way, fluffed the pillows with the outside of his fist, that he didn't want to let her go. She was warm, and he knew safe with him. If she wasn't comfortable, she would have shifted by now.
He laid her down carefully, one hand at the backs of her knees, the other cradling her neck. His index finger traced over the slightly raised mark that he had seen there, red like a fresh burn but in a design that had made it look deliberate.
Who did it..? When did she get it..? Did she always have it, and he never noticed..?
The weak touch of her cheek on the inside of his wrist sucked him straight out of his thoughts. He must have moved her, or she had tried to get comfier..
He felt the puffs of her breath on his forearm, warm and soft, like the back of her neck. The light from his vial mixed with her bracelets, bathing her in all sorts of colors. It caught in her hair and making it shimmer like dark, still water. Her skin shone white, the half curve of her glossed, parted mouth almost blinding.
She was so small..and pretty. There was nothing about her that he would want to change..
The image of her became closer, and closer..as he leaned down, tilting her cheek so she faced him. Warmed peaches filled his nose again, he pursed his mouth as it watered.
How many times had he thought about this.. What it would feel like..to kiss her again. Would it sear him like last time..? Or would it flush him with a balmy heat that wouldn't ever leave him alone..? Would her lips be crushed hard to his or only just touching..?
Would she push him away, or..
His eye closed.
"Geez, May..what am I doing.."
Her delicate breaths rushed across his mouth. He could feel warmth even through the inches still separating them. His fingers tensed against her neck as he forced himself to lean up, the tip of his nose grazing her forehead. He brushed his bottom lip against her left eyebrow and straightened, his hands slipping away from her before he lost the resolve to even move.
He drew the blanket up to her ribs with one hand, the other rubbing at the side of his face.
He knew that he should leave, at least her bedroom. He'd brought her back, he made sure she was alright, that was enough..
He exhaled, only making it as far as the foot of her bed. He sat on the very corner, his back still to her.
More than what he had almost done, he hated the thought that anything he did for her was just 'good enough'..like he could just give up because he had done his part.
He didn't need to be like this..she wouldn't ever know about it.
But he would, and he knew he wasn't satisfied with 'good enough.' Nothing less than his best in every last thing he could possibly do for her would do.
And he wouldn't have it any other way.
He decided to stay.
It had been a while, hours actually, since Katt had left them at the hall. He could see the beginnings of morning light trying to make itself known behind the cottony cloud cover as he made the slow journey back to May's apartment.
She slept in his arms just as soundly as she had in his lap, her shallow breathing barely noticeable, hidden even by the quiet sounds of his footsteps on the street. As much as he had tried to tame her hair, it still fell in a messy waterfall over his arms, sweeping the ground, tickling the tops of his feet. The soft breezes brought the warmed scent of peaches to his nose.
He watched her face as he walked. Her eyelashes were long and dark against her cheeks, a lot longer than he had last remembered them being. She looked relieved and relaxed; he hoped he was imagining the subtle sadness that he could see too, lingering in the shadows of her expression.
The air of her small apartment felt empty and stale, the clicks of the lock and latch sounding too loudly. The girl resting against him didn't stir. He shrugged the tote bag off of his shoulder, leaving it on the kotatsu as he passed it in favor of her room instead.
It wasn't the first time he had done this for her, but it somehow felt different. He knew as he carefully peeled the top layer of blankets out of the way, fluffed the pillows with the outside of his fist, that he didn't want to let her go. She was warm, and he knew safe with him. If she wasn't comfortable, she would have shifted by now.
He laid her down carefully, one hand at the backs of her knees, the other cradling her neck. His index finger traced over the slightly raised mark that he had seen there, red like a fresh burn but in a design that had made it look deliberate.
Who did it..? When did she get it..? Did she always have it, and he never noticed..?
The weak touch of her cheek on the inside of his wrist sucked him straight out of his thoughts. He must have moved her, or she had tried to get comfier..
He felt the puffs of her breath on his forearm, warm and soft, like the back of her neck. The light from his vial mixed with her bracelets, bathing her in all sorts of colors. It caught in her hair and making it shimmer like dark, still water. Her skin shone white, the half curve of her glossed, parted mouth almost blinding.
She was so small..and pretty. There was nothing about her that he would want to change..
The image of her became closer, and closer..as he leaned down, tilting her cheek so she faced him. Warmed peaches filled his nose again, he pursed his mouth as it watered.
How many times had he thought about this.. What it would feel like..to kiss her again. Would it sear him like last time..? Or would it flush him with a balmy heat that wouldn't ever leave him alone..? Would her lips be crushed hard to his or only just touching..?
Would she push him away, or..
His eye closed.
"Geez, May..what am I doing.."
Her delicate breaths rushed across his mouth. He could feel warmth even through the inches still separating them. His fingers tensed against her neck as he forced himself to lean up, the tip of his nose grazing her forehead. He brushed his bottom lip against her left eyebrow and straightened, his hands slipping away from her before he lost the resolve to even move.
He drew the blanket up to her ribs with one hand, the other rubbing at the side of his face.
He knew that he should leave, at least her bedroom. He'd brought her back, he made sure she was alright, that was enough..
He exhaled, only making it as far as the foot of her bed. He sat on the very corner, his back still to her.
More than what he had almost done, he hated the thought that anything he did for her was just 'good enough'..like he could just give up because he had done his part.
He didn't need to be like this..she wouldn't ever know about it.
But he would, and he knew he wasn't satisfied with 'good enough.' Nothing less than his best in every last thing he could possibly do for her would do.
And he wouldn't have it any other way.
He decided to stay.